8 Relationship Red Flags! 1. Manipulative. 2. Walking on Eggshells (controlling people). 3. You're being controlled (it's because I loveee you.....guilt & shaming). 4. Gaslighting (intent to deceive). 5. You're devalued. 6. They are isolating you ( secrecy). 7. Your boundaries are disregarded. 8. Toxic responses.
I had this recently and it's very strange and somewhat disconcerting especially as it's never happened to me before. She's an elderly christain too with alot of problems..very bitter sadly.
I have 5 toxic members of my family. Deceit and lies are constant. I have a niece and nephew who is from the pits of hell. I have Forgiven them, but now I'm free from their grip. I deeply thank the Lord for his guiding and love.
I also had a pastor tell me, regarding a past marriage that verbal abuse is bad but not as bad as physical. 🙄 My mom failed to tell him that my ex had cheated on me during our marriage and had gotten the woman pregnant. As if verbal abuse was not a good enough reason to leave. Glad i did.
The way you describe isolation is completely different from the type of isolation I was put through. I wasn't allowed to talk to friends or family on the phone unless he was present. I wasn't allowed to go for a drive or to a store without him knowing, even though sometimes he was secretly follow me. He would turn off my cell phone service when I went for a drive alone to get away from him for a while. I wasn't allowed to visit my family or have them visit me . I was truly a prisoner. I married later in life, and I got out of it quickly!
My sister who is a narc from book,told me the other day, " I'm not going to change because that's how I'm ,you are the one who need to adapt to me ". I'm going to protect myself from her more. Thanks for your advice dear. God Bless you.
I have a neighbor at my complex who is a master gaslighter (or she thinks she can fool me) I have a lot of past experience before her; and I trust the guidance of the Holy Spirit 🕊
Trust the Holy Spirit. G-d has the power to change everything, even our astrology. Love, K. Gabriel (Always respect the parents or you are disconnected from the lineage of Masters).
I left my Christian Covert Narcissist 22 days ago now. The best decision I ever made for myself. I am happy and healthy living my best life! Stay strong survivors. 💪 💪 💪
Thank you Kris 🙏🏽. Sometimes my response to toxic behaviour sounds like I’m the one gaslighting them. Like if they always burst out in anger and i call them out for being that way. They have a way for making u question yourself if you are the one in the wrong
I see these traits in my partner of 11 years (not married) I accept that the Lord has been telling me to leave, (we have a 3 year old) makes it harder with a child, my question now is "how do I leave" without making the ticking bomb go off?? I can only keep praying that God will provide the way out so that I may be able to bear it.
As a narcissist it so depressing and exhausting I do not like it but can’t help it I used to be close to god and slowly changed DO NOT GO down this path I used to be filled with love and joy this is a terrible fate
That is so so sad 😭 my daughter used to be a very Godly young lady but now she’s not even allowed to talk to us, we can’t even see our grandchildren on video calls. Don’t give up on GOD none of this is His fault. Listen to more of Kris’s videos they are all so encouraging. GOD has a purpose and a plan for your life I’ll pray for you as I’m praying 🙏🏽 that my daughter will also see the purpose and plan GOD has for her life 😢🙏🏽❤️
Amen, Amen, I have experienced all of this with narcissistic family members. Everything you have said has been happening on a regular basis all my life. I have gone no contact with all of them as much as possible.
They expect grace, and mercy continously but will not give it out. Because I am viewed as the scapegoat in my family...they hold me in condemnation for sins that Ive already asked forgiveness for from them.. God has already forgiven me but yet they keep bringing stuff up. They will never tell me they are sorry for anything they have done. They are Judgmental, critical, competitive and a there is a constant superior/inferior dynamic. At this time, I hld them accountable for what they are doing and I love them a distance. Unless God intervenes there is nothing I can do but keep praying! 😢🙏
@SAD-ij8in: They shouldn't carry on that way to their offspring. That goes for my parents and all parents. They need to help themselves with their issues and not abuse their children mentally, emotionally, or physically. In fact they shouldn't abuse anyone and any kind of abuse is unacceptable.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS CLEAR AND WISE TEACHING. Your examples were spot on and I just began to lift my hands thanking God that I have healed and can now understand this as abuse and all to be red flags. I experienced them ALL but now I realize my value and the worth God has given me to live balanced, healthy, and whole knowing how to serve or say NO! 3 years post 16 year narcissistic marriage to a covert “Christian” that is still STUCK in the same cycles of abuse and abusing many. Thank you Jesus for getting me out and teaching my children how to recognize bad and harmful relationships. Thank you for this. Life is meant to glorify God NOT live in chaos and abuse to serve the narc.
Prayers, meditating, chanting G-d's holy names and enjoying the universe working in favor for your Self-realisation is the greatest gift. And thank Archangel Michael, always.
Thanks kris you so right. Thank you for your great works.. When steping into a new relationship its important to know what you dealing with from the beginning. Dont wait to get into a relationship with such people hoping you can change them . My advice is leave such a relationship as soon as you see some of these red flags. Ruuuuuuuuuuuuun.
Number 6 feel like it happened to me. Many years ago, he told me that in his family, they don't use psychologist, because if you go to a couples counselor, the relationship is labelled abusive and the marriage ends. So he wasn't keen on marriage counseling. Seems clear now, but i accepted his authority at the time.
Makes it soo clear all the red flags before the relationships even began. Very informative and helpful. This is why God does not want it to happen. Thank you!
I am from south African, my pastor took me on a road of Bible studies when I asked if I should leave him and at the end God showed me I will take u out of Egypt , and then one day I did I came to a surprise to everyone I just could not do it anymore
@deniseware1802 yuppp that's even the scripture of what the Lord Jesus has said “’These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." (Matt 15:8)
I thank God for you. Your messages are very enlightening to me I also loved the one about The Demons involved in a narcissist. I'm a Christian from from Kenya who appreciates this information. Thank you
You are doing such a great job and truly in your divine calling for such a time as we are living in . I have finally had to go no contact with husband and 2 sons that are also carrying this generational sin. It’s been a nightmare working with a lawyer that is not aware or willing to be aware , so I have given my notice to him as well mediation lawyer . I have shared my need with 5 pastors and no help . I am steadfast in my faith but I’m exhausted!!!
I left the Narc Mom, absolutely ZERO Contact....Now living in my Car, I can Cough without hearing her shout at me "Are U allergic to the bathroom?" I suffer from Asthma & Cold room or cold Tiles sets it off for me....now when I cough outta the blue, I laugh coz she cannot control me anymore....and I'm 50yrs old! 😅
I bet you feel better emotionally. Free! Father God I lift her up to you I asked that you bring people in her life that will encourage her and speak into her life your word. Seek Jesus with all your heart ❤️ he will not disappoint you and talk down at you. He always lifts us up he is our husband
@@Timenow1 I pray you are given safe people and caring for you that way you do not have to live in your car. Been there, not safe. Find out if there is a seniors shelter, or low income apartments. I knew a lady paying $250 a month for rent. So please try to find something.
@@ceceliapadgett9882 Amen, With Jesus I Am TOTALLY, Joyfully Free from Abuse & His Salvation 🙏💕 The saddest part, she is a Covert Christian Narc and a "1st Lady" of the church my Late Father pastored, Glad they instilled the Knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus in my Heart but I follow the Narrow Road with Jesus now 💕🙏😁
@@texaslovelylady Thank U so much for your Loving words......Sadly I will not be eligible for senior shelter until I turn 60, per the all the Help Lines, I do occasionally when I can budget it in (saving $ for a van or RV that I could afford & trade in this auto I live in, In Jesus's Name it won't take long) I "treat" myself to a night's stay at a low budget but safe hotel for a decent sleep/stretch on a BED! 😍 I shower at the Gym but at the hotel room, I can shower as many times as I please, Sleep without worries and maybe treat myself to an inexpensive Pizza 🍕 Thank God for my job 🙏💕
My daughter is in a toxic relationship. She ran into the relationship against our wishes. She is in the US we are in Canada. We now have been totally shut out of her life . He won’t let us talk to her. She thinks she has to obey her husband. We are shocked at some of the things she is guilty of now that she’s in this relationship. We can’t even see our newest grandchild. She has two children how will she ever get out of this mess. She has never told us anything about the relationship she has with her husband, but after watching your videos we know because we have experienced these things with him. We have been to their house once it was a nightmare I was walking on eggshells the whole time. Do you have any advice for us. This is heartbreaking 💔 😢
Excellent, helpful, informative reminders of what these challenging and emotionally dangerous relationships look like. Thanks for laying this out and for reminding us why it’s important to recognize these TOXIC characteristics. 🙏🏽
Isaiah 54:5-15: You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband, the LORD Almighty is his name, the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
Mine too, enough is enough, stand firm and let us value ourselves, it is ok to walk away. Ask God for wisdom, an open dooor and the steps to take. Like Kris says " just bc you're a Christian doesn't mean you're a door mat".
Yeah when we first met she told me she had a rebound relationship with a guy after leaving her husband. She said it had come crashing down, so i assumed it was over. But when we started dating she confessed to me that she was actually still seeing in while she was getting to know me and ended it about 3 weeks into us talking. Then she told me he was actually her kids soccer coach. At first I tried dealing with it, but after a month the guy started causing drama. And that’s when i began to tell her I’m uncomfortable with situation. After so many times of me expressing my discomfort. She said she would switch her kid to a different club. But later made excuses and that’s when she said get over it. Also she hasn’t told her family or catholic friends about me. Her ex husband doesn’t know about me either. So he still sometimes sends messages thinking there is hope for him with her. So pretty much she hides out relationship. All these things I’ve expressed to her. But her excuse is always about kids not finding out yet because they aren’t ready yet. I see how it led me away from God. I felt disconnected and she seemed to come around at right time. Now i feel broken.
@Kris Reece The red flags are noted. ✍ I am visibly guided by Proverbs 31:10-31. The book of Ruth is also a beautiful guide for a healthy partnership. 🙏 Next time we can talk about the green flags.
10 years, egg shells, very difficult never talks about anything that will make him give up smoking pot or swearing, drinking, drinking is less and ware of it but if I try to expose his smoking I get ripped apart.
Yes, that will happen when they are confronted about a fault of theirs. They can’t be held responsible for their words or actions, you can’t call them out on any of their junk because they deny it all or will tell you they never said that, they will turn around & find a way to hold it against you, making you seem like the bad person or that you’re the one who needs help. I know, easier said than done. I know that we would like some semblance of justice for ourselves in these situations. To them it’s all just a game to them. They don’t like to lose, period.
My grandmother was indeed a lovely person, with many endearing qualities, but sadly she passed away in 2020 from brain cancer. During her lifetime, she struggled with saying and doing things passive aggressively to get her way. My guilt trips were made to order! Lol😂But in all seriousness, I don’t think she really knew how deeply I loved her, and how amazing I thought she was, despite our differences. I hope God can tell her one day how much I loved her, and give her the much needed love in heaven that she couldn’t receive here on earth. The same for my grandfather; he committed some terrible atrocities against his children including my mother that left them damaged for life. So my mother tried so desperately to love me from a place of hurt and despair, but all she did was harm me in the process, and I ended up repeating the same family poison to my own son. Although not as severe, I still mistreated him just as my mother mistreated me, just as my grandparents mistreated my mom, and this pattern repeats over 300 years. I hope we can find reconciliation after Jesus arrives, I love my family very much❤ thank you for your time dear friend, thank you for reading.
Red flag - you begin sharing with a “friend” and 30 seconds into it they take it over and dominate with their opinion, their personal experience or their “words of wisdom.” They always know best. Feels like a pit bull waiting for that opportunity to grab hold of your arm, clamp on and not let go. It’s not a two-way conversation but a “I win, you lose” one. It becomes all about them. This is exasperating. Frequently, If they’re going off on a tangent and it is not what I’m saying, then I will “… no, this isn’t what I’m saying…” Still doesn’t work.
I have every one of these. Every one. I wish I was kidding of minimizing but I. Not!, Thanks to your help and others i managing. Flying monkeys hurt me the most
I trusted in the Lord of Jesus Christ as my personal savior into my heart through faith alone, and not of works, by accepting his free gift of salvation, by his grace on February 16, 1996, each day, I confess sins for process of sanctification, to receive Jesus Christ as your personal savior, please refer to Matthew 10:28, John 3:16-18:36, 5:24, 6:37:47, 10:27-29, 14:6, Acts 2:38, 16:30-31, Luke 15:10, Romans 1:16, 3:23, 4:5, 6:23, 10:9-10:13, Ephesians 2:8-10, and Titus 3:5. God bless the world, and thank you for sharing.
This is what that type of a person does. They have no interest in whatever you say, because it’s not a concern to them & they just don’t care about anyone else, but themselves. This isn’t a true concern to them. So, therefore no reaction & they don’t really listen to anything you have to say either. Now you will get a reaction from them if you ever call them out on their junk, though. It won’t be pretty, & it will definitely be worse for you if this is done. You’ll feel as though you’ve been sucker punched again & again & again, once you even come up for air. Yes, it doesn’t make any sense how someone that supposedly loves you could treat you this way? To them it’s like a fix for a drug addict. This behavior meets the supply that they need & demand. It’s their very existence for living. There’s nothing that you can do, or say to make things better. If you come against them somehow, it will be only more sorrow & pain for you. The beginning to the end. Just know this, that you’re not crazy & you’re not alone. It’s all on them, trust me.
I know right…I laughed then felt emotional then started thanking God I no longer have to deal with ALLLLL of that! It’s hard to believe you were in it and just existing. Thank you God for freedom and God takes good care of me 🙌
My partner earns a considerable amount more money than I do. I contribute and buy his kids and mum thoughtful gifts where I can. However, both he and his "clan" are clearly jealous and focus too much on not contributing 50/50. This is done in a manipulative way. (yet, they quite happily take where they can!) I feel my value degraded because of finances and not my genuine worth. How can I best deal with this situation?
Wish you could talk about an enmeshed / emotional incest family unit with the added bonus of outside partners. I could sure tell you a story about this over the span of 10 years. I had no idea what any of this was at the time. I just knew it felt off and I had to be careful with what I did or said.
I was groomed by my "Christian" mother to be my siblings' mom from my teens bec she married early and didn't "enjoy" her youth - while she spent her time "serving God" in church activities. I was the black sheep for pushing back - she was enabled by my siblings, relatives, friends and yes, pastors. Only by God's grace did I survive and realized the abuse 6 years ago. Tried to "be forgiving" but kept some distance which turned out useless bec of the flying monkeys. I decided to go "gray rock" and at 60 Im finally at peace.
QQ Kris, I have been subscribed to you for awhile now. I have been a Strick American Baptist , for my whole life. Even though I was back slidden in my 20's. I really need your help, but I need to get ahold of you privately, since it has to do with a past murder, that has to do with my present husband! He admits that he is critical and sinical. I recently found out that he tends to have narcissist qualities and gas lights me constantly. Sincerely, Merry QQ
easy fix: get a separation, live apart, wait until the other person commits THAT sin, then divorce them. if they DONT care about your FEELINGS, they DONT care about YOU!!
That is a form of manipulation & control. This type of person doesn’t do well w/other people’s emotions. To them it appears as though you’re weak. & they will take it for all that it’s worth. Most important to them are their own emotions & their own opinions. They just don’t care about anyone else, but themselves. If you try to share your feelings w/them they won’t have it. To them the most important feelings or opinions are their own. They tell you that your wrong for feeling that way,or you shouldn’t feel that way because it makes them uncomfortable, or it takes the attention away from them. It’s better to not share/or show any emotion to them @ all. Once again, what I’ve said in other comments: its easier said than done. I can totally relate w/y’all. When you show emotion, defend your own case, or call them out on their junk, there’ll be negative consequences. Majority of the time, it will be against you.
💌📖💌 Great descriptions of toxic side of relationships! Just hoping some do not use this to justify the godly side warned about in Mark (chapter 7) that carries very serious consequence. 💞🏡💞
You learn to hold your anger when you go super nova on them they have narcissistic rage! Not good! John 2 Jesus made a whip of cords cleared tables and overturning them.... zeal for my father's house consumed me...
Interesting…as I was falling asleep the other night, I was reminded that there were two types of ppl. Wolves and sheep. Wolves are always wolves but sheep can be those who listen and follow Jesus or those who believe the wolves.
Hi Kris!!! Is it wrong for me as a Christian to attend to a Catholic church if my children should get married there or baptize their baby there? Yes they are Catholics and so are my husband. I have asked God for forgiveness about what I have done and he knows why I did it etc. Ps: I am thinking about this thing of worshiping Mary and if I am supporting this if I go. Bless you Lotta from Sweden🙏🙏🙏
Catholics don't worship Mary. They love Mary as a mother, they respect her YES to God to be mother to His only son. She could have said no, but she said yes. She is important, as she was Jesus' earthly mother, and therefore she is also our mother (it is in scripture that Jesus said to the disciple he loves "behold your mother" and to Mary at the same moment "behold your son." That means that Jesus gave her to all of us as a mother. She is not God and she is not Jesus and is not worshipped by anybody who knows the true teachings of the Catholic Church 😊 Worship of Mary would be a grave sin as it directly breaks commandment.
@@schooleyfamband3287 I was raised Catholic, and yes they do worship Mary, they have statues of her everywhere ANND their prayer starts with “HAIL MARY FULL OF GRACE,” and that prayer is NOT biblical. There’s no where in The Bible where God instructed us to pray to Mary, absolutely no where. When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He started with “OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN…,” no Hail Mary because she was a human being with no special abilities of her own to carry Jesus; it was God who decided to favor her just as He still favor us now when He needs to complete His agenda on earth…since God had to become Jesus in flesh, He needed a womb for physical birth and mercifully made use of Mary to complete that BUT Mary is not what Catholics make her out to be, and no one can ask her for prayers because there’s only “ONE” mediator between us and The Father God, His name is Jesus…out of His very own mouth, He says that no one can get to The Father expect through Him. So it’s literally idolatry to pour that much affection on Mary, when Jesus never instructed us to do so (and if you choose to do so, it’s just religious traditions that’s clearly in error because this is NOT what God instruct us to do!!!(, ANNNNND when He told John “this is your mother,” it was because He was on the cross literally dying and so He intentionally entrusted her into his care….IT WAS NOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT that connects her to us as “our mother,” because she’s not. I’m also from a country where the demonic is rampage, and so I can tell you with my bottom dollar that you’re in for a rude awakening for believing what you just typed and thinking Mary can hear your prayers, you’re praying to familiar spirits aka “demons,” plus when I became born again as an adult, The Holy Spirit separated me from the Catholicism and revealed His presence/power that points to Jesus as our hope of Glory in every circumstance (no Mary involved).
@@sunnyhunn9315 You say “I was raised Catholic, and yes THEY do worship Mary”. Why did you not say “and I worshiped Mary”? Did you? My ex-Catholic Mother used to say the same thing until i asked her the same question and now…crickets. Why? Because she actually knew the difference. 🤷🏽♂ And yes, “hail full of grace” is in the Bible. Ironic a Catholic should have to show that to you in Luke chapter 1. 🤦♂ You are correct in saying God never instructed us to pray to Mary. He also never instructed us to have steeples on our churches or have Wednesday worship services either. Are you stopping that practice now that you have been corrected? I hope not. Now “IF” you continue conflating “praying” with “worship” then i suggest you keep your stance about prayer. But please dont try to impose that stance on others. the point is, prayer does not equal worship. When you are talking to God in frustration is this worship? NOPE! If someone is rebuking the devil, and im suggesting you should but that it is a thing, is this worship? I hope not. Point being there are other forms of “communications” to the “great crowd of witnesses” Heb 12:1 other than “worship” than your definition of prayer. Of course Mary has no special abilities of her own. But neither does satin. So if satin can hear you, through God allowing this, how much more do you think God will allow His “great crowd” to also hear you? If you want to stand on the “one mediator” argument then you will have to stop asking others to pray for you. Its as simple as that. That is what we are doing with Mary and the saints. Until we eat the body and drink the blood of Mary and sacrifice the Mass to her there is no putting Mary above Christ, as that is what we do with HIM, even with all your propaganda speech. 🤷🏽♂ Oh, the Holy Spirit separated my mother and ALL of my siblings from the Catholic church also…they are now Jehovahs Witnesses because they now “know better” (no Mary invilved). 🤷🏽♂ Peace!!!
So then I have felt right and received my answer from the Lord. For this is what the evil one has been attacking me with in my mind for quite some time now. I haven't had peace of mind. Thank you so much Kris 🙏🙏🙏
8 Relationship Red Flags!
1. Manipulative.
2. Walking on Eggshells (controlling people).
3. You're being controlled (it's because I loveee you.....guilt & shaming).
4. Gaslighting (intent to deceive).
5. You're devalued.
6. They are isolating you ( secrecy).
7. Your boundaries are disregarded.
8. Toxic responses.
Fake friends that copy you. Is a huge red flag
You mean mirroring?
I had this recently and it's very strange and somewhat disconcerting especially as it's never happened to me before. She's an elderly christain too with alot of problems..very bitter sadly.
Manipulation can be done through giving as well to make you oweing and obligated to continue in the relationship
I have 5 toxic members of my family. Deceit and lies are constant. I have a niece and nephew who is from the pits of hell. I have Forgiven them, but now I'm free from their grip. I deeply thank the Lord for his guiding and love.
I also had a pastor tell me, regarding a past marriage that verbal abuse is bad but not as bad as physical. 🙄 My mom failed to tell him that my ex had cheated on me during our marriage and had gotten the woman pregnant. As if verbal abuse was not a good enough reason to leave. Glad i did.
Some people just don't get it. Forgive him.
Verbal abuse can stay with you forever.
@@susiebear77ss that pastor needs to read the Bible more because that kinda crap is NOT a loving husband. Glad you left too
The way you describe isolation is completely different from the type of isolation I was put through. I wasn't allowed to talk to friends or family on the phone unless he was present. I wasn't allowed to go for a drive or to a store without him knowing, even though sometimes he was secretly follow me. He would turn off my cell phone service when I went for a drive alone to get away from him for a while. I wasn't allowed to visit my family or have them visit me . I was truly a prisoner. I married later in life, and I got out of it quickly!
My sister who is a narc from book,told me the other day, " I'm not going to change because that's how I'm ,you are the one who need to adapt to me ". I'm going to protect myself from her more. Thanks for your advice dear. God Bless you.
The worst part is that I could hear my mother's voice in most/all of these red flags.
I have a neighbor at my complex who is a master gaslighter (or she thinks she can fool me) I have a lot of past experience before her; and I trust the guidance of the Holy Spirit 🕊
Just keep your distance. Be cordial and polite but avoid her.
Trust the Holy Spirit. G-d has the power to change everything, even our astrology. Love, K. Gabriel (Always respect the parents or you are disconnected from the lineage of Masters).
ugh, this was our pastor...we lost so much in leaving, but we are grateful to be free!!
I left my Christian Covert Narcissist 22 days ago now. The best decision I ever made for myself. I am happy and healthy living my best life! Stay strong survivors. 💪 💪 💪
Thank you Jesus. We need to run from these vampires. Before the teeth appears 😳 they will bite.
I was raised by a Narcissistic Mother!!
Thank you Kris 🙏🏽. Sometimes my response to toxic behaviour sounds like I’m the one gaslighting them. Like if they always burst out in anger and i call them out for being that way.
They have a way for making u question yourself if you are the one in the wrong
I see these traits in my partner of 11 years (not married) I accept that the Lord has been telling me to leave, (we have a 3 year old) makes it harder with a child, my question now is "how do I leave" without making the ticking bomb go off?? I can only keep praying that God will provide the way out so that I may be able to bear it.
As a narcissist it so depressing and exhausting I do not like it but can’t help it I used to be close to god and slowly changed DO NOT GO down this path I used to be filled with love and joy this is a terrible fate
Let Jesus heal you. Ask and ye shall receive.
That is so so sad 😭 my daughter used to be a very Godly young lady but now she’s not even allowed to talk to us, we can’t even see our grandchildren on video calls.
Don’t give up on GOD none of this is His fault. Listen to more of Kris’s videos they are all so encouraging.
GOD has a purpose and a plan for your life
I’ll pray for you as I’m praying 🙏🏽 that my daughter will also see the purpose and plan GOD has for her life 😢🙏🏽❤️
Amen, Amen, I have experienced all of this with narcissistic family members. Everything you have said has been happening on a regular basis all my life. I have gone no contact with all of them as much as possible.
Manipulation “I bought you some______”. (trying to lure me back in) Mom isn’t reeling me back in, ever again!! 5:04
9 out of 8
#9 he is playing the role of God and holy spirit in my life in all aspects
They expect grace, and mercy continously but will not give it out. Because I am viewed as the scapegoat in my family...they hold me in condemnation for sins that Ive already asked forgiveness for from them.. God has already forgiven me but yet they keep bringing stuff up. They will never tell me they are sorry for anything they have done. They are Judgmental, critical, competitive and a there is a constant superior/inferior dynamic. At this time, I hld them accountable for what they are doing and I love them a distance. Unless God intervenes there is nothing I can do but keep praying! 😢🙏
Isaiah 3:11
Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him.
When she tell you she gives custody of her son to her Ex-Husband. However later I find out she abandoned her son - TWICE!!
It is so hard when you come from the womb of someone like this and are raised with this treatment.
Absolutely! I agree.
Yes, have to relearn everything and what’s healthy
@SAD-ij8in:
They shouldn't carry on that way to their offspring.
That goes for my parents and all parents. They need to help themselves with their issues and not abuse their children mentally, emotionally, or physically. In fact they shouldn't abuse anyone and any kind of abuse is unacceptable.
My needs, opinions and goals don't matter. This is the treatment I got from the covert narcissistic husband.
It is just as hard when someone like this came from your womb
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS CLEAR AND WISE TEACHING. Your examples were spot on and I just began to lift my hands thanking God that I have healed and can now understand this as abuse and all to be red flags. I experienced them ALL but now I realize my value and the worth God has given me to live balanced, healthy, and whole knowing how to serve or say NO! 3 years post 16 year narcissistic marriage to a covert “Christian” that is still STUCK in the same cycles of abuse and abusing many. Thank you Jesus for getting me out and teaching my children how to recognize bad and harmful relationships. Thank you for this. Life is meant to glorify God NOT live in chaos and abuse to serve the narc.
My narcs best game is puplic humiliations..The kind that makes you want to crawl under the table
Prayers, meditating, chanting G-d's holy names and enjoying the universe working in favor for your Self-realisation is the greatest gift. And thank Archangel Michael, always.
I refuse to be in public with the narc … so sad they need to make others small so they can think they are big
I soooo needed this 40 years ago!
Same😢
I know, me too.
Thanks kris you so right. Thank you for your great works.. When steping into a new relationship its important to know what you dealing with from the beginning. Dont wait to get into a relationship with such people hoping you can change them . My advice is leave such a relationship as soon as you see some of these red flags. Ruuuuuuuuuuuuun.
Number 6 feel like it happened to me. Many years ago, he told me that in his family, they don't use psychologist, because if you go to a couples counselor, the relationship is labelled abusive and the marriage ends. So he wasn't keen on marriage counseling. Seems clear now, but i accepted his authority at the time.
I find that Christians can do this as much as anyone.
Makes it soo clear all the red flags before the relationships even began. Very informative and helpful. This is why God does not want it to happen. Thank you!
I am from south African, my pastor took me on a road of Bible studies when I asked if I should leave him and at the end God showed me I will take u out of Egypt , and then one day I did I came to a surprise to everyone I just could not do it anymore
God took me out of Egypt many decades ago. I am so grateful for the blessings He gave me which led me safely from harm !
My mom has done some of these things. And she is a Christian.
Not a real Christian but counterfeit
@@nyahbrown9804 agree. They may say they are a Christian but their actions say otherwise
@deniseware1802 yuppp that's even the scripture of what the Lord Jesus has said “’These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." (Matt 15:8)
Or your crazy for not acting or reacting the way they want. Also say or do everything the want..
Adopt zero tolerance and set boundaries with consequences
I feel blessed and happy on the very deepest level when listening to this. Jumped from sorrow to praise!
I thank God for you. Your messages are very enlightening to me I also loved the one about The Demons involved in a narcissist. I'm a Christian from from Kenya who appreciates this information. Thank you
You are doing such a great job and truly in your divine calling for such a time as we are living in .
I have finally had to go no contact with husband and 2 sons that are also carrying this generational sin.
It’s been a nightmare working with a lawyer that is not aware or willing to be aware , so I have given my notice to him as well mediation lawyer . I have shared my need with 5 pastors and no help . I am steadfast in my faith but I’m exhausted!!!
@@peggydietz6148 Today's pastors are probably useless for this. The real shepherds are retiring, quitting and passing on.
"Why do you have to breathe so loudly?!" 😂😂😂
I left the Narc Mom, absolutely ZERO Contact....Now living in my Car, I can Cough without hearing her shout at me "Are U allergic to the bathroom?"
I suffer from Asthma & Cold room or cold Tiles sets it off for me....now when I cough outta the blue, I laugh coz she cannot control me anymore....and I'm 50yrs old! 😅
I bet you feel better emotionally. Free! Father God I lift her up to you I asked that you bring people in her life that will encourage her and speak into her life your word. Seek Jesus with all your heart ❤️ he will not disappoint you and talk down at you. He always lifts us up he is our husband
@@Timenow1 I pray you are given safe people and caring for you that way you do not have to live in your car. Been there, not safe. Find out if there is a seniors shelter, or low income apartments. I knew a lady paying $250 a month for rent. So please try to find something.
@@ceceliapadgett9882 Amen, With Jesus I Am TOTALLY, Joyfully Free from Abuse & His Salvation 🙏💕 The saddest part, she is a Covert Christian Narc and a "1st Lady" of the church my Late Father pastored, Glad they instilled the Knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus in my Heart but I follow the Narrow Road with Jesus now 💕🙏😁
@@texaslovelylady Thank U so much for your Loving words......Sadly I will not be eligible for senior shelter until I turn 60, per the all the Help Lines, I do occasionally when I can budget it in (saving $ for a van or RV that I could afford & trade in this auto I live in, In Jesus's Name it won't take long) I "treat" myself to a night's stay at a low budget but safe hotel for a decent sleep/stretch on a BED! 😍
I shower at the Gym but at the hotel room, I can shower as many times as I please, Sleep without worries and maybe treat myself to an inexpensive Pizza 🍕
Thank God for my job 🙏💕
Disney film like beauty and the beast promoted toxic relationship
My daughter is in a toxic relationship. She ran into the relationship against our wishes. She is in the US we are in Canada. We now have been totally shut out of her life . He won’t let us talk to her. She thinks she has to obey her husband. We are shocked at some of the things she is guilty of now that she’s in this relationship. We can’t even see our newest grandchild. She has two children how will she ever get out of this mess. She has never told us anything about the relationship she has with her husband, but after watching your videos we know because we have experienced these things with him. We have been to their house once it was a nightmare I was walking on eggshells the whole time.
Do you have any advice for us. This is heartbreaking 💔 😢
I’m so happy finding your channel!
Thank you for talking about relationship in general. It is so important. Especially with toxic friends. You are making such a difference. Ty
Because they either don't know how to validate your feelings or they don't care.
All the above! Exactly from childhood learned behavior patterns!
Excellent, helpful, informative reminders of what these challenging and emotionally dangerous relationships look like. Thanks for laying this out and for reminding us why it’s important to recognize these TOXIC characteristics. 🙏🏽
Churches can have these red flags too.
All the mentioned Red flags are true and correct! Thank you for this very enlightening guide/tips to help me out!
😢 oh my goodness. My husband fits all of these red flags
Isaiah 54:5-15:
You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband, the LORD Almighty is his name, the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
I'm sorry :(
I was all of those until healing started a year ago!! Thank you thank you Kris!!
Mine too, enough is enough, stand firm and let us value ourselves, it is ok to walk away. Ask God for wisdom, an open dooor and the steps to take. Like Kris says " just bc you're a Christian doesn't mean you're a door mat".
Or someone's calculated deliberate abuse or sabotage of another's work and or platforms
I love when you give us some example conversation about the topic.
Yeah when we first met she told me she had a rebound relationship with a guy after leaving her husband. She said it had come crashing down, so i assumed it was over. But when we started dating she confessed to me that she was actually still seeing in while she was getting to know me and ended it about 3 weeks into us talking. Then she told me he was actually her kids soccer coach. At first I tried dealing with it, but after a month the guy started causing drama. And that’s when i began to tell her I’m uncomfortable with situation. After so many times of me expressing my discomfort. She said she would switch her kid to a different club. But later made excuses and that’s when she said get over it. Also she hasn’t told her family or catholic friends about me. Her ex husband doesn’t know about me either. So he still sometimes sends messages thinking there is hope for him with her. So pretty much she hides out relationship. All these things I’ve expressed to her. But her excuse is always about kids not finding out yet because they aren’t ready yet. I see how it led me away from God. I felt disconnected and she seemed to come around at right time. Now i feel broken.
@Kris Reece The red flags are noted. ✍ I am visibly guided by Proverbs 31:10-31. The book of Ruth is also a beautiful guide for a healthy partnership. 🙏 Next time we can talk about the green flags.
Thank you so much for all the biblical references and clarification of gray areas … refreshing!!!!
Thank you so true.😞🙏
Amen! Thank you for sharing.
10 years, egg shells, very difficult never talks about anything that will make him give up smoking pot or swearing, drinking, drinking is less and ware of it but if I try to expose his smoking I get ripped apart.
Yes, that will happen when they are confronted about a fault of theirs. They can’t be held responsible for their words or actions, you can’t call them out on any of their junk because they deny it all or will tell you they never said that, they will turn around & find a way to hold it against you, making you seem like the bad person or that you’re the one who needs help. I know, easier said than done. I know that we would like some semblance of justice for ourselves in these situations. To them it’s all just a game to them. They don’t like to lose, period.
How do i fix my emotional immaturity?
My grandmother was indeed a lovely person, with many endearing qualities, but sadly she passed away in 2020 from brain cancer. During her lifetime, she struggled with saying and doing things passive aggressively to get her way. My guilt trips were made to order! Lol😂But in all seriousness, I don’t think she really knew how deeply I loved her, and how amazing I thought she was, despite our differences. I hope God can tell her one day how much I loved her, and give her the much needed love in heaven that she couldn’t receive here on earth. The same for my grandfather; he committed some terrible atrocities against his children including my mother that left them damaged for life. So my mother tried so desperately to love me from a place of hurt and despair, but all she did was harm me in the process, and I ended up repeating the same family poison to my own son. Although not as severe, I still mistreated him just as my mother mistreated me, just as my grandparents mistreated my mom, and this pattern repeats over 300 years. I hope we can find reconciliation after Jesus arrives, I love my family very much❤ thank you for your time dear friend, thank you for reading.
Your videos are amazing. I really like it. I am a new subscriber to your channel. Can I talk with you Kris?
Honestly, i am the guilty party in this. Another reason to let him go. No one deserves that. Although i do not do it on purpose.
Amen TY powerful
Love your videos! Insightful Content mixed with a bit of comedy (which is reality for some) ❤❤
Red flag - you begin sharing with a “friend” and 30 seconds into it they take it over and dominate with their opinion, their personal experience or their “words of wisdom.” They always know best. Feels like a pit bull waiting for that opportunity to grab hold of your arm, clamp on and not let go. It’s not a two-way conversation but a “I win, you lose” one. It becomes all about them. This is exasperating.
Frequently, If they’re going off on a tangent and it is not what I’m saying, then I will “… no, this isn’t what I’m saying…” Still doesn’t work.
Thank you!!!!
BRILLIANT YOU NAILED IT. I SEE THIS IN MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS AND I HAVE AN EXTREMELY TOXIC RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER
So many red flags .Thanks God ❤❤
Such an excellent video Kris. Thank you so much!! God bless you and your talented team. 🙌🕊️✝️ EXCELLENT video. ❤️
Thank you so much for all this 💗 Greetings from Greece, Athens!
U have a great way to explain / illustrate what we experience.
I have every one of these. Every one. I wish I was kidding of minimizing but I. Not!, Thanks to your help and others i managing. Flying monkeys hurt me the most
I pray god will lighten my mothers heart and bring us closer in his name in Jesus name amen
God does not forcefully change people. If your mother does not want a change, God will not help her change. Please take that in consideration. Best.
I trusted in the Lord of Jesus Christ as my personal savior into my heart through faith alone, and not of works, by accepting his free gift of salvation, by his grace on February 16, 1996, each day, I confess sins for process of sanctification, to receive Jesus Christ as your personal savior, please refer to Matthew 10:28, John 3:16-18:36, 5:24, 6:37:47, 10:27-29, 14:6, Acts 2:38, 16:30-31, Luke 15:10, Romans 1:16, 3:23, 4:5, 6:23, 10:9-10:13, Ephesians 2:8-10, and Titus 3:5. God bless the world, and thank you for sharing.
You are really accurate and so helpful, absolutely 💯 truth ❤
Another great video, with great advice. God Bless Kris!🙏😃
Great podcast
Correction: No PERSON should ignore.
What if they listen to a concern then walk away and do nothing about it like nothing was said at all?
Devaluing
Disregarding you
This is what that type of a person does. They have no interest in whatever you say, because it’s not a concern to them & they just don’t care about anyone else, but themselves. This isn’t a true concern to them. So, therefore no reaction & they don’t really listen to anything you have to say either. Now you will get a reaction from them if you ever call them out on their junk, though. It won’t be pretty, & it will definitely be worse for you if this is done. You’ll feel as though you’ve been sucker punched again & again & again, once you even come up for air. Yes, it doesn’t make any sense how someone that supposedly loves you could treat you this way? To them it’s like a fix for a drug addict. This behavior meets the supply that they need & demand. It’s their very existence for living. There’s nothing that you can do, or say to make things better. If you come against them somehow, it will be only more sorrow & pain for you. The beginning to the end. Just know this, that you’re not crazy & you’re not alone. It’s all on them, trust me.
Every ...single...one in my marriage....thank you for making this.
I know right…I laughed then felt emotional then started thanking God I no longer have to deal with ALLLLL of that! It’s hard to believe you were in it and just existing. Thank you God for freedom and God takes good care of me 🙌
Good morning!
My partner earns a considerable amount more money than I do. I contribute and buy his kids and mum thoughtful gifts where I can. However, both he and his "clan" are clearly jealous and focus too much on not contributing 50/50. This is done in a manipulative way. (yet, they quite happily take where they can!) I feel my value degraded because of finances and not my genuine worth. How can I best deal with this situation?
You did it before!
Wish you could talk about an enmeshed / emotional incest family unit with the added bonus of outside partners. I could sure tell you a story about this over the span of 10 years. I had no idea what any of this was at the time. I just knew it felt off and I had to be careful with what I did or said.
How to move on after the relationship is over.
I have seen her get mad and stump off like a 2 year old.
I was groomed by my "Christian" mother to be my siblings' mom from my teens bec she married early and didn't "enjoy" her youth - while she spent her time "serving God" in church activities. I was the black sheep for pushing back - she was enabled by my siblings, relatives, friends and yes, pastors. Only by God's grace did I survive and realized the abuse 6 years ago. Tried to "be forgiving" but kept some distance which turned out useless bec of the flying monkeys. I decided to go "gray rock" and at 60 Im finally at peace.
It's like you're talking in code here. What exactly are you saying?
Been there! Happy for you! I always say, "Good people never are". Phonies.
For example our corrupt political system. These educated so called leadership of our political system , they are beautiful!!😮😮😅
If I'm expected to formulate what I say and always messing up and being gaslighted and mocked and raged at, but it's a marriage.... then?
Red flag #1 they dont speak about Jesus, carnal and self-centered
@@pgmc9441 exactly
But when the person stops caring for themselves..and they can help it,it's very frustrating and they need to do hygeine
Leave it gets abusive
I can see myself having had experiences with all of the examples you gave. I look forward to taking some of your classes.
QQ Kris, I have been subscribed to you for awhile now. I have been a Strick American Baptist , for my whole life. Even though I was back slidden in my 20's. I really need your help, but I need to get ahold of you privately, since it has to do with a past murder, that has to do with my present husband! He admits that he is critical and sinical. I recently found out that he tends to have narcissist qualities and gas lights me constantly. Sincerely, Merry QQ
I’m not so sure you need to speak with kris, I think you need to speak to law enforcement
Is there a guide to toxic children?
She controls me by not letting me see my grandbabies
what about your son? why doesnt HE bring the kids over to your house then!!
@@Lauren-vd4qe it’s my great nephew . My daughter was murdered and they adopted them
@@phyllistouchstone7136 did u never get along with/had no relationship with the great nephew before the adoption?
@@Lauren-vd4qe I had not seen him in 7 years. He came to my husband’s funeral in 2013
@@phyllistouchstone7136 well what does he say when you call and say im coming over to see the kids
Its not about their action, its your reaction thats the issue....🤪
I’m in a relationship when my feelings are hurt and I try to express that I get told after 20 years of marriage you shouldn’t feel that way.
easy fix: get a separation, live apart, wait until the other person commits THAT sin, then divorce them. if they DONT care about your FEELINGS, they DONT care about YOU!!
@@Lauren-vd4qe Thanks for the guidance.
That is a form of manipulation & control. This type of person doesn’t do well w/other people’s emotions. To them it appears as though you’re weak. & they will take it for all that it’s worth. Most important to them are their own emotions & their own opinions. They just don’t care about anyone else, but themselves. If you try to share your feelings w/them they won’t have it. To them the most important feelings or opinions are their own. They tell you that your wrong for feeling that way,or you shouldn’t feel that way because it makes them uncomfortable, or it takes the attention away from them. It’s better to not share/or show any emotion to them @ all. Once again, what I’ve said in other comments: its easier said than done. I can totally relate w/y’all. When you show emotion, defend your own case, or call them out on their junk, there’ll be negative consequences. Majority of the time, it will be against you.
I'm also married for 19yrs. Struggling with expressing myself but not being heard. Thanks for sharing
@@carlyk502 agreed; its someone to avoid.
FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
Conquering Codependency Biblically Online Course
krisreece.com/conquering-codependency/
💌📖💌
Great descriptions of toxic side of relationships!
Just hoping some do not use this to justify the godly side warned about in Mark (chapter 7) that carries very serious consequence.
💞🏡💞
You learn to hold your anger when you go super nova on them they have narcissistic rage! Not good!
John 2 Jesus made a whip of cords cleared tables and overturning them.... zeal for my father's house consumed me...
Interesting…as I was falling asleep the other night, I was reminded that there were two types of ppl. Wolves and sheep. Wolves are always wolves but sheep can be those who listen and follow Jesus or those who believe the wolves.
Wow. Your comment is everything in a nut shell THEE TRUTH! Love the way you said this. ❤
Hi Kris!!! Is it wrong for me as a Christian to attend to a Catholic church if my children should get married there or baptize their baby there? Yes they are Catholics and so are my husband. I have asked God for forgiveness about what I have done and he knows why I did it etc. Ps: I am thinking about this thing of worshiping Mary and if I am supporting this if I go. Bless you Lotta from Sweden🙏🙏🙏
Is that a yes ☺️
Catholics don't worship Mary. They love Mary as a mother, they respect her YES to God to be mother to His only son. She could have said no, but she said yes. She is important, as she was Jesus' earthly mother, and therefore she is also our mother (it is in scripture that Jesus said to the disciple he loves "behold your mother" and to Mary at the same moment "behold your son." That means that Jesus gave her to all of us as a mother. She is not God and she is not Jesus and is not worshipped by anybody who knows the true teachings of the Catholic Church 😊 Worship of Mary would be a grave sin as it directly breaks commandment.
@@schooleyfamband3287
I was raised Catholic, and yes they do worship Mary, they have statues of her everywhere ANND their prayer starts with “HAIL MARY FULL OF GRACE,” and that prayer is NOT biblical. There’s no where in The Bible where God instructed us to pray to Mary, absolutely no where. When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He started with “OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN…,” no Hail Mary because she was a human being with no special abilities of her own to carry Jesus; it was God who decided to favor her just as He still favor us now when He needs to complete His agenda on earth…since God had to become Jesus in flesh, He needed a womb for physical birth and mercifully made use of Mary to complete that BUT Mary is not what Catholics make her out to be, and no one can ask her for prayers because there’s only “ONE” mediator between us and The Father God, His name is Jesus…out of His very own mouth, He says that no one can get to The Father expect through Him.
So it’s literally idolatry to pour that much affection on Mary, when Jesus never instructed us to do so (and if you choose to do so, it’s just religious traditions that’s clearly in error because this is NOT what God instruct us to do!!!(, ANNNNND when He told John “this is your mother,” it was because He was on the cross literally dying and so He intentionally entrusted her into his care….IT WAS NOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT that connects her to us as “our mother,” because she’s not.
I’m also from a country where the demonic is rampage, and so I can tell you with my bottom dollar that you’re in for a rude awakening for believing what you just typed and thinking Mary can hear your prayers, you’re praying to familiar spirits aka “demons,” plus when I became born again as an adult, The Holy Spirit separated me from the Catholicism and revealed His presence/power that points to Jesus as our hope of Glory in every circumstance (no Mary involved).
@@sunnyhunn9315 You say “I was raised Catholic, and yes THEY do worship Mary”. Why did you not say “and I worshiped Mary”? Did you? My ex-Catholic Mother used to say the same thing until i asked her the same question and now…crickets. Why? Because she actually knew the difference. 🤷🏽♂
And yes, “hail full of grace” is in the Bible. Ironic a Catholic should have to show that to you in Luke chapter 1. 🤦♂
You are correct in saying God never instructed us to pray to Mary. He also never instructed us to have steeples on our churches or have Wednesday worship services either. Are you stopping that practice now that you have been corrected? I hope not. Now “IF” you continue conflating “praying” with “worship” then i suggest you keep your stance about prayer. But please dont try to impose that stance on others. the point is, prayer does not equal worship. When you are talking to God in frustration is this worship? NOPE! If someone is rebuking the devil, and im suggesting you should but that it is a thing, is this worship? I hope not. Point being there are other forms of “communications” to the “great crowd of witnesses” Heb 12:1 other than “worship” than your definition of prayer.
Of course Mary has no special abilities of her own. But neither does satin. So if satin can hear you, through God allowing this, how much more do you think God will allow His “great crowd” to also hear you?
If you want to stand on the “one mediator” argument then you will have to stop asking others to pray for you. Its as simple as that. That is what we are doing with Mary and the saints. Until we eat the body and drink the blood of Mary and sacrifice the Mass to her there is no putting Mary above Christ, as that is what we do with HIM, even with all your propaganda speech. 🤷🏽♂
Oh, the Holy Spirit separated my mother and ALL of my siblings from the Catholic church also…they are now Jehovahs Witnesses because they now “know better” (no Mary invilved). 🤷🏽♂
Peace!!!
So then I have felt right and received my answer from the Lord. For this is what the evil one has been attacking me with in my mind for quite some time now. I haven't had peace of mind. Thank you so much Kris 🙏🙏🙏
Thanks Kris. Very informative and confirming.