How to Use Toxic People to Your Advantage (Biblically)

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024
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КОМЕНТАРІ •

  • @Kris_Reece
    @Kris_Reece  2 роки тому +87

    Freedom From Toxic People (Spring Semester)
    krisreece.com/delivered-to-destined-academy-spring-semester/
    FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
    krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide

    • @hawaiigirl8089
      @hawaiigirl8089 Рік тому +3

      Nono no we’re NOT expecting any hope other than what your Title say !

    • @willfox4654
      @willfox4654 Рік тому +6

      If we try to manipulate those that are manipulative, then haven't we just lowered ourselves to their level of toxicity

    • @kre8504
      @kre8504 Рік тому +4

      Amen. Praise God for the space, to be able to focus on Godliness. I love your biblical application, to dealing appropriately with toxic people!!

    • @sanelabogdan8863
      @sanelabogdan8863 Рік тому +3

      How I can get this book? 😊

    • @asifmuniruniverse7732
      @asifmuniruniverse7732 Рік тому +1

      Respected! I said about theolocal education

  • @gwendolynwehage6336
    @gwendolynwehage6336 8 місяців тому +48

    I am convinced we put the focus on how others "make us feel" because we care way too much about how they think about us. It doesn't matter what they think about us, it only matters what God thinks of us.

    • @leanne123
      @leanne123 27 днів тому

      The problem is that we all need to belong. And that makes us vulnerable to others. We can't not care about how the people we love, think about us.

    • @gwendolynwehage6336
      @gwendolynwehage6336 27 днів тому +2

      @@leanne123 Luke 14:26. "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."
      We must walk so closely with Christ that we do not feel a loss when family discards us.

  • @sunflowerroark5170
    @sunflowerroark5170 Рік тому +372

    When the toxic people are nice to others and not me, the others don't believe me.

    • @mevlo2
      @mevlo2 Рік тому +30

      This is exactly what my husband does to others except me! And I let him know that 😢

    • @karma9007
      @karma9007 Рік тому +33

      In this case,I bluntly call people out and expose their true color for what it is.

    • @Chris-qi5rq
      @Chris-qi5rq Рік тому +44

      They'll find out after you leave because someone else will take your place in the dynamic

    • @With.Love.Chris.
      @With.Love.Chris. Рік тому +12

      Amen 🙏

    • @janicechaudhury6043
      @janicechaudhury6043 Рік тому +35

      What do you do if they turn your relatives against you?

  • @burtcooper612
    @burtcooper612 Рік тому +96

    Misery loves company. I`d rather be lonely than miserable.

    • @LoriPARK1111-u1b
      @LoriPARK1111-u1b 10 місяців тому +1

      Yes! GOD bless you Burt….✝🕎🛡⚔🪔⚖🩸🔥👑👑👑🕊

    • @kimberlychilstrom6888
      @kimberlychilstrom6888 6 місяців тому +1

      Me too..thats why i went no contact ..and 90 % in isolation.

    • @e.conboy4286
      @e.conboy4286 3 місяці тому +3

      Lonely? Or alone? “Be careful where you hang your hope!” Alone is often good for your soul, time to reflect, pray and work toward your goals.

    • @e.conboy4286
      @e.conboy4286 3 місяці тому +1

      Difficult or dangerous? Watch out and get out of a dangerous relationship.

    • @conniedavis207
      @conniedavis207 23 дні тому

      Amen! God and His gift of amazing peace and joy is so much better than misery and being around it! Be thankful when He removes misery! Not necessarily implying divorce but if this miserable person walks away, thank God, then go enjoy your peace, joy and this beautiful day God has given you.

  • @Cod12Osc
    @Cod12Osc Рік тому +46

    If someone loves you, they would NOT intentionally do things to hurt you, trigger you, they would not try to set you up for failure, and they would not put you or set you up in scenarios to provoke and instigate negative reactions from you. They will love you, encourage you....

    • @jeffnbarbiemiller
      @jeffnbarbiemiller 9 місяців тому +5

      Amen 🙏

    • @goodenoughgirl8102
      @goodenoughgirl8102 6 місяців тому +2

      Exactly. My “mother.”

    • @MonikaFrankenhauser
      @MonikaFrankenhauser Місяць тому +2

      Then that is no love

    • @conniedavis207
      @conniedavis207 23 дні тому

      Yes….how misery loves to have an accomplice in their chaotic, mind blowing game. Walk away from misery into your loving friends arms…God

  • @jaylyntrogen8861
    @jaylyntrogen8861 8 місяців тому +11

    This confirms my personal testimony. I have grown closer to God because of my marital 17:13 challenges. And as I have grown closer and more intimate with Him, He has shown light in the dark areas of my life that also needs to be transformed. To God be the Glory. Truly what the devil meant for evil, the Lord turns it around for good.

  • @nonythecreative
    @nonythecreative 2 роки тому +456

    This is gold! As soon as I let go of the toxic relationships in my life, new doors for my purpose started opening. I now focus on God's plan for my life instead of venting. I took the lessons for the next level🙏

    • @veronicasanchez696
      @veronicasanchez696 2 роки тому +14

      Amen!!! U put into perfect words my sentiments exactly!!! God bless u beautiful sister❤️🥰🙏🏻

    • @lavenderchai1613
      @lavenderchai1613 2 роки тому

      Same 🫶🏼

    • @paulmakiej6431
      @paulmakiej6431 2 роки тому +5

      Can you have a purpose. Two big bloopers. Job and marriage. I would like to use huge bloopers to grow. Battling future and age 65

    • @paulmakiej6431
      @paulmakiej6431 2 роки тому +3

      Can you have a purpose? After marriage job disasters

    • @cherbears4446
      @cherbears4446 2 роки тому +17

      I love this instead of venting focus on God's plan 🙏

  • @kaywest7987
    @kaywest7987 11 місяців тому +55

    Just started watching on utube. I’m sure the Lord directed. Great teaching and insight. Raised by narcissists parents. I’m 72 and just now being healed by God of my triggers. Praise God. Thank you Kris

    • @LoriPARK1111-u1b
      @LoriPARK1111-u1b 10 місяців тому +3

      Amen! I’m 64….same! Hi Kay…😜✝🕎🤭

    • @WhiteBirdMustFly2
      @WhiteBirdMustFly2 9 місяців тому

      Will be 71 in July. Had a narcissistic father with quite a few character traits, a Mother who was empathetic as a healer, cook, clairvoyant and intuitive woman. Both had a very high IQ, but my father was raised by a Bible thumping Mother, while my Mother was raised by her Aunt & Uncle, after her Mother died days after her birth of preeclampsia toxic state, common in those early 1900’s but prevented today. Father’s father died of toxic lead poisoning in the hospital where he got pneumonia on top of it, which caused his inability to recover. Penicillin had not been invented yet… Father blamed God, for taking his Father, and could never believe in any “Word” in the Bible. He had a hardened heart towards God. He was only 10 when this happened. He learned to be very charming and charismatic which became his power, other than the fact that he had deep sea blue eyes and was very attractive to women. He married 3 times with 2 divorces. His 1st wife proposed to him, and they had 3 children, after their divorce, he slept with 1 woman who had a child from him without his knowing, as he decided instead to marry my mother as his second wife. My mother had 1 son, from her prior marriage and wouldn’t cheat on him, like his prior wife had or the other woman who he knew had slept with another man too.
      The other woman married a man who thought he was the father of their son and they had a 2nd son.
      Father had 9 children, total. With my mother, he had a 1st born that died as a baby and they buried him then moved to a different State, south of his prior home, where we would visit later. Next he had twins, then myself. We lost our home in a flood, so moved higher up on a hill, to start over. My mother decided they needed counseling but that doesn’t work with a narcissist. He smear campaigned her and told his truth, and provided an attorney for her that full of lies about her situation in court, divorced my mother with his best attorney and one of his twins lies about our Mother. Pride was the ways of my father and his sons. They took me away from my mother at age 10, where I was put in my mother’s position to be head of the household. My mother would never want to see his face again, had further trauma with her job, another man, and loss of her children through further manipulation. Life is hard and trauma can beat down children to where they lack a controlled environment as well. In the end, only the golden child, his youngest daughter from 1st marriage thrived with that last wife. She was narcissistic too. All three of my half siblings suffer in their own ways, except that middle golden girl, born on “Daddy’s” birthday, but the favored 1st Son took advantage of that 3rd wife, financially so was axed from his life. The 1st born daughter had long before separated from her father for remarrying and got removed with her brother and put into care by Grandmother, when they moved away.
      Narcissist do not recognize boundaries. They get fuel from overstepping others boundaries. There is a lifetime full of education about toxic people. Just Pray that you will never be like them, get out and stay out. If you return, like I did, you will find that this personality never changed. There is hope for children who were removed while they were young enough.

    • @bevill72able
      @bevill72able 7 місяців тому +3

      Amen. Praise The Lord! Im 51 and still struggling with my my Mother... BUT i know Our God is working on me. Its a struggle with a toxic parent

    • @nickymunnik5729
      @nickymunnik5729 6 місяців тому

      Amen and praise God

    • @melindaliang3773
      @melindaliang3773 26 днів тому

      Praise and Thank God for using your teaching for His Kingdom purposes...to His Glory!!! AMEN
      God bless you and your ministry, Kris. ❤

  • @SeaMee
    @SeaMee 2 роки тому +122

    “Toxic people are users” idk why that hit so hard 😞

    • @justinwesley2423
      @justinwesley2423 Рік тому +3

      Deeply in my heart

    • @brendagrubb8616
      @brendagrubb8616 Рік тому +6

      It is very painful when you open your eyes and realize your true situation. But thanks be to God that now we can be empowered to change our circumstances, even if the growing pain are difficult during the process.

    • @majimespirit8421
      @majimespirit8421 Рік тому +4

      Especially when it’s your adult child and your spouse can’t say no. It hurts in many ways.

    • @peggystewart6390
      @peggystewart6390 Рік тому +1

      😥

    • @silviapisces3342
      @silviapisces3342 9 місяців тому

      Spot on! We need to know when it's time to leave. Are you in a relationship for their good or for yours? Prayer is important, so that you know what to do next. You will not feel guilty if it's God who has said to leave.

  • @conniedavis207
    @conniedavis207 23 дні тому +1

    That is so true, Kris! We must stop wasting time on this broken soul. We need to put our eyes on God and off these sad people. Give them to God, then ask for His truth in our lives. I have grown so much in His assurances, relying on my awesome God & Savior. I am so thankful for this. He pulled another round and I said nothing. That is not my norm. I felt so much better and stronger knowing I stayed out of the battle having God answer this spirit His way.

  • @juliecollins4496
    @juliecollins4496 8 місяців тому +9

    This was so incredibly helpful and confirmed what God has shown me as well. The Lord is growing me, healing me, changing me and restoring me. It is impossibly hard but worth it.

    • @conniedavis207
      @conniedavis207 23 дні тому

      Julie…me too! It has been a journey with a narcissist then God also does what He promises. What Satan means for evil, God will use for His and our good. Have had so much growth toward my amazing Father and away from things that do not deserve the very little time we are given. He is also showing me where I need to let go and let God answer these spirits. Walk away when they start. Go find your Friend…and thank Him for helping you walk away and being there for you when you do.

  • @scapps8173
    @scapps8173 Рік тому +15

    We must look at the part we play in so many situations. That's what I have to work on. I am so glad to see this taught in biblical way. It is so helpful to me.

  • @donna-colorado8443
    @donna-colorado8443 2 роки тому +85

    I love that. God uses people to help people.

    • @trevorfrayne6418
      @trevorfrayne6418 2 роки тому +2

      This is my biggest takeaway from this video. Not the only takeaway, but the biggest takeaway.

  • @justinwesley2423
    @justinwesley2423 Рік тому +205

    This is the best video I have ever found, I have been in a unyoked marriage with narcissist for 7 years but together for 14 years. She doesn't hit me or any physical violence but the mental abuse is scary and no one believes me. They have seen my reaction to her abuse so every one of her friends and family think im the problem. My therapist told me about reactive abuse and it is what she has been doing for years. I do believe God is showing me that I need to learn self control when being provoked. Your video is a God send thank you

    • @happyhermit931
      @happyhermit931 Рік тому +12

      I'm in something similar not married though his constant put downs and hate and all abuse except for violence and sex..
      It's horrible waking up each day knowing Something will ruin the day it got that bad it nearly killed me, so he's backed off a bit my health was failing me so bad he's realized I'm more useful alive so he's stopped a lot of the verbal it's just the financial now ..
      I react I try not to be a cowering victim I hate living like this and I'm well aware I've maybe come across as the problem I can shout back loud and I know it makes me look bad ..

    • @blahblahblah4544
      @blahblahblah4544 Рік тому +10

      ​@@happyhermit931 Hearing you guy's stories makes me happy I left. I'm lonely sometimes. But atleast I'm not living with manipulation, gaslight and drama.
      I literally sing every day and my kids went from saying "Mommy is sad all the time" to "Mommy always tells jokes."
      I say pray on it. I had to stay for a season. I'm glad God have me left when I did. Because I did every I could so my conscience is clean.
      I wish you well, and people totally understand.
      Come here a rant if ya need. I'll believe you!

    • @christines1322
      @christines1322 Рік тому +8

      My mother is a narcissist, i left home at 15 she had me going crazy. I only allowed short visits as i got older. She now has cancer and im helping her

    • @mesfinhailegiorgis7985
      @mesfinhailegiorgis7985 Рік тому

      I loved the message and you for revealing such amazing way of handling the problem. But still am in doubt

    • @chefjenny11
      @chefjenny11 Рік тому +5

      I began listening to these due to the condition my son lives in from his wife. Also, for me. She works in the field of psychology. Never sees the damage done. I not only believe you, I have witnessed the toxic behavior.

  • @mactine2k7
    @mactine2k7 6 місяців тому +5

    "Let the toxic interactions reveal what's going on inside you"
    Count it all joy when you encounter various trails....

  • @billiewillingham-cm3sc
    @billiewillingham-cm3sc 4 місяці тому +3

    I want to be what God wants me to be

  • @victoriavitoroulis3273
    @victoriavitoroulis3273 Рік тому +93

    My 26 yr old daughter was in the most toxic relationship for 6 months .. I was really proud how she handled it … he was a blessin & lesson / blessing she got out unscathed and mentally aware and a life lesson that she needs stronger boundaries and she’s aware that he was a toxic narc w no accountability for anything . Thank God for this lesson , , sometimes we need toxic situations too wake us up .. and now she’s in a beautiful relationship ❤❤

    • @cindyolson
      @cindyolson Рік тому +6

      I like that you said toxic narc with no accountability. Such a huge truth.

    • @deb9784
      @deb9784 Рік тому +5

      And what a gift it was to have you support her as she made the changes she needed to make to get out of this toxic relationship!

    • @victoriavitoroulis3273
      @victoriavitoroulis3273 Рік тому +3

      @@deb9784 I was proud of her that she made this toxic experience as a 6 months a life lesson .. Beware of Hobo Sexual narc carrying black garbage of clothes , that lays down Pipe better than a plumber 😂

    • @mariehaverty8209
      @mariehaverty8209 Рік тому

      Agree 100%

    • @kimikogibson9897
      @kimikogibson9897 Рік тому

      😊

  • @rosas5365
    @rosas5365 2 роки тому +13

    "Take your focus off from them" wow she's talking to me

  • @Meggiebeth19
    @Meggiebeth19 Рік тому +91

    If someone is making you miserable because of their treatment towards you forgive them but move on- distance yourself or cut them out of your life. I can’t begin to imagine how painful being married to someone like this must be. Accept that you can’t change a person like this. Peace of mind comes w/ending contact & moving forward. Love the info in these videos.

    • @lindagithaiga1974
      @lindagithaiga1974 Рік тому +1

      Absolutely 💯

    • @alnisaeaddy-glover1620
      @alnisaeaddy-glover1620 Рік тому +7

      The first thing we should always do before moving or doing anything is our life is to go to God and ask him what it is you want us to do

    • @Thepoetjewel
      @Thepoetjewel Рік тому +1

      Pray for me!! Amen

    • @evelynbare1975
      @evelynbare1975 9 місяців тому +1

      It is painful. Pray for me please.

    • @NonYa-l9t
      @NonYa-l9t 6 місяців тому

      ​@@evelynbare1975🙏🥹

  • @slavkavancikova5377
    @slavkavancikova5377 10 місяців тому +7

    Thanks for yr godly advice Kris. He pushed all my buttons, triggered me often even without words. I know I'm not perfect, asked God repeatedly what is my lesson to learn here. I feel at peace knowing God wants to heal and deliver me so there's no explosive material left in me. Thanks for helping me to take my eyes of the abuser and focus on God instead. I'll keep on walking, no looking back.

  • @cloaked.mystic
    @cloaked.mystic Рік тому +28

    "stop trying to change them"
    It took me 15 years through a divorce, 2 engagements, and 3 kids to learn this lesson😢 but I have arrived 🎉I am narc free and thriving 😊

    • @Joshuatr3ea
      @Joshuatr3ea 11 місяців тому

      Two out of three says allot

  • @camb9064
    @camb9064 2 роки тому +200

    Definitely for me! I've been in a 46 year marriage and have decided to get a divorce. Thank You, Lord for freeing me!

    • @tatie7604
      @tatie7604 2 роки тому +14

      Check the scripture before you make that decision.

    • @DJH97
      @DJH97 2 роки тому +40

      Good for you. I got out after 30 years of mental and emotional hell. Thought I was losing my mind. God never intended for us to live with abusers of any kind

    • @camb9064
      @camb9064 2 роки тому +10

      @@DJH97 Exactly!

    • @camb9064
      @camb9064 2 роки тому +19

      @@tatie7604 You don't know what you don't know.

    • @tracynewton3083
      @tracynewton3083 2 роки тому +6

      Congratulations ✌️ 👍 🙏 😎 🐝 🌻

  • @donna-colorado8443
    @donna-colorado8443 2 роки тому +92

    I have been a doormat for years and with God's help I am working through it. I want to do what pleases God.

    • @donna-colorado8443
      @donna-colorado8443 2 роки тому +1

      @@lunarae8037 God bless, you too.

    • @mms1137
      @mms1137 2 роки тому +16

      Same here become a doormat then you get frustrated speak up and your the bad guy. 🙄

    • @alexanderhamilton2769
      @alexanderhamilton2769 2 роки тому +1

      give thanks to the almighty God
      Hello. I'm Alexander Hamilton, How are you doing...?

    • @indianagirl500
      @indianagirl500 2 роки тому +10

      Exactly I feel like it’s a spiritual warfare I have been involved in

    • @donna-colorado8443
      @donna-colorado8443 2 роки тому +1

      @@indianagirl500 it is

  • @gb3776
    @gb3776 Рік тому +13

    You are so right…I never blamed them. I just started like you said to identify my triggers. I found out that I didn’t always have to be right didn’t care if I was right anymore 😅. And I did get excited when I found out this person was a tool for me. I actually started examining me., every Spirit I exhibited I led myself through self deliverance of that spirit. If you are dealing with the Spirit of Offense that has to go. We are all raised by people who are not perfect. So if you can walk away from whatever people do to trigger you it’s so powerful. I realize my reaction was like gasoline to their fire. It’s so powerful not to do that toxic dance anymore. I have my life back, my power back. It did take about two years to get where I am today…once I found out what I was dealing with. Thank you for this. Because I went to my Heavenly Father and he delivered me from my triggers. And I can now help others with what they are going through. You also have to realize these people have no empathy or sympathy. They need deliverance from their demons. DON’T TAKE THE BAIT!🙏🏾

  • @tatianasaldarriaga
    @tatianasaldarriaga Рік тому +2

    I hate to contradict you on what you said on this video where you stated that toxic people aren’t likely to recognize they are the problem because I am in the process of CONVICTION and I have to RECOGNIZE that I am a toxic person (mother) I am ACCOUNTABLE for my behavior and I WANT TO CHANGE. I REPENT for the hurt I have caused to my children and other people around me and I am allowing God to deal with me, my sin and my mistakes. So toxic people can change if they WANT TO CHANGE. I recognize also that there are consequences I have to pay for my bad behavior. I trust God for deliverance, healing and forgiveness.
    Thank you very much for your videos, they’re helping me a lot!

  • @colleentoon8155
    @colleentoon8155 Рік тому +2

    Thank you ,you have help me so much .I have started to ask Father God for there salvation.

  • @queengreen007
    @queengreen007 Рік тому +57

    The hard part for me, is when the people at church behave like my narcissist family system and then scapegoated. I have also noticed that a lot of the people in church are the most unsafe people to share your story with. I don't share my story or my testimony anymore. I agree people can help you to grow and so forth and so on, so long as most of it is growing right out of that relationship, especially if the abuse doesn't stop. We have a right to protect ourselves.

    • @anneparrish2247
      @anneparrish2247 Рік тому +1

      I only choose share with people who grew up in a home with the narcissist vibe. They get it. And I feel we cam learn from knowing others have dealt with it or seeing that it is a thing with similar aspects, bigger than my experience. Those things help healing. I don’t take it to church. I focus on the shared experience of growing in Christ. Wish you a clear path to healing.

    • @queengreen007
      @queengreen007 Рік тому +1

      @@anneparrish2247 Church is just another place to be on guard because it is open to anyone with any agenda.

    • @elizabethash4720
      @elizabethash4720 Рік тому +5

      The enemy can only operate through people.The bible says to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.I see wisdom in your comment.😊

    • @queengreen007
      @queengreen007 Рік тому +1

      @@elizabethash4720 thank you. I just attributed it to the extreme deception time that we're in. Yeah I don't want to make it seem like all people at church are bad, because they're not. Especially the bigger the church the more opportunity to run into this type of deception. Smaller churches it's a little bit harder because everyone really knows everyone. My husband and I have learned over time, that smaller churches can be safer but that's not always the case.

    • @elizabethash4720
      @elizabethash4720 Рік тому +2

      @@anneparrish2247 That's a wise idea not to take it to church. I woke up that I was letting narcicist in my family drag me down. It's just when I'm new and people aren't convinced of my faith and sincerity in attending church, that I fall into explaining myself. It's as though they are blocking me from praise and worship until they feel comfortable. I don't really understand that, and it's not easy as a single person . I'm finding safer people as I go. Please pray for me.

  • @veronicasanchez696
    @veronicasanchez696 2 роки тому +89

    Amen I’m excited about how to use people as tools instead of victimizing myself and avoidance

  • @westindiesgalfruits2335
    @westindiesgalfruits2335 Рік тому +60

    A true women of God pray. This is one of the most powerful messages I've ever heard in my life at 39. Thank you ❤..

  • @traviswilson3960
    @traviswilson3960 9 місяців тому +2

    Nothing and no one before seeing this video convinced me that all these Christian UA-cam advisors knew anything about being in a toxic covenant relationship. Kris, thank you for helping me see past the fog of my pain to objectively see the situation with a potential to bring growth, and to look at my dear wife with a clearer set of eyes. I’m building healthy boundaries and keeping my counselor closely connected. May God bless your ministry. ❤️‍🩹

  • @jeffnbarbiemiller
    @jeffnbarbiemiller 9 місяців тому +3

    Thank you Lord for sending this man into my life. May we both learn our toxic behaviors through this relationship. Help me to overcome my insecurities and strengthen my love towards the life you have planned for me. I know I am a sinner and am unworthy of your love and guidance but I believe your word and hold deeply in my heart your love and mercy to cover my weaknesses. Please heal me completely over the hurt they've put in my heart and help me to be stronger in those areas.

  • @auntieb3621
    @auntieb3621 Рік тому +53

    My favorite thing I've learned in this is that God can help us to use what triggers us to show us what needs healing inside of us. Bam!!!!! Spot on baby that's so beautifully said thank you so much!!!!!!!!!

  • @lisanavarro6774
    @lisanavarro6774 Рік тому +23

    Narcissist are definitely skilled at manipulation and will use you as long as allowed. Once we put the brakes on their behavior they start seeking new supply or try to find new manipulation techniques. I also agree, we need to work on allowing God to heal and change what’s broken in us.❤🙏

  • @mariaalexander7037
    @mariaalexander7037 2 роки тому +58

    It is a pity that when you are young you don't know how to deal with those people. So it messes up our minds and we are unable to be our best. Children should be educated very early in their lives especially when you are preparing for marriage. I'm 72 now and I could relate to the behavior, but it is only recently I was told about the week word narcissist. Fortunately I was always close to Jesus so I was able to weather the storm. Besides, being a silent warrior the narcissist e was not successful in destroying me. I am a strong woman!

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Рік тому +5

      The Bible calls them "serpents" and "workers of iniquity"....

    • @lisapratt97
      @lisapratt97 Рік тому +4

      Thank you for sharing this sentiment. It’s encouraging me to consider how to arm my own children for this exact arena. Very grateful. God bless you! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @AlpacaRenee
    @AlpacaRenee Рік тому +12

    Thank you Kris, these videos are a true answer to prayer.

  • @elouiselundy9219
    @elouiselundy9219 Рік тому +2

    I'm sharing, and sharing

  • @Gadget_2161
    @Gadget_2161 Рік тому +4

    You can’t explode without explosive material, so their constant triggering doesn’t set you off 🤯. What a giant pearl of wisdom here, truly.

  • @joelchamberlain9620
    @joelchamberlain9620 2 роки тому +37

    Great advice! We need to use the toxic people in our lives to improve ourselves (become more like Christ). Thank you Kris!

  • @mariehaverty8209
    @mariehaverty8209 Рік тому +4

    I know some very nice toxic people I just wouldn’t have a relationship with one, you are correct toxic triggers toxic, love this thank you. ❤

  • @prophetic4923
    @prophetic4923 5 місяців тому +1

    Granted, I now personally that dealing with toxic people are one of the greatest soulish tribulations that believers can experience relationally. We can overcome and grow through Him. because He has overcome all. (John 16:33). Don't circumvent the process or ignore it, or should one want to if one sincerely desires God's best for your life. He will be with you and never forsake you in the process and in paying the price endured for your healing! The process Kris Reese is teaching here is the Truth. It's progressive take at your pace. Don't give up God never gives up n us. 🏆✝

  • @TuletteBitner-t9o
    @TuletteBitner-t9o 6 місяців тому +2

    God showing me what needs healing

  • @Rev1960-i2r
    @Rev1960-i2r Рік тому +3

    Oh my gosh. You are so right! Recently something happened & I went off at the person. I then went into self reflection. What FATHER revealed to me about me is how selfish I am. I then realised that it's me needing change. However, it doesn't stop me from praying & desiring my neighbour to be healed.
    FATHER'S Blessing on your message & Ministery. It is essential.

  • @marinagreyvenstein2608
    @marinagreyvenstein2608 Рік тому +40

    I have been married in such a relationship for 47 years. This teaching is the most revealing ever. While I am listening, I recognise that I have anger and I defend. I see forward to find what my Godly purpose is the part of my life that is left. Thank you. God is blessing your teaching.

    • @charlottemuller2233
      @charlottemuller2233 Рік тому +1

      For sure

    • @estellewadsworth4187
      @estellewadsworth4187 Рік тому +1

      Darling 47 years you have stayed to long so be kind to yourself and go solo be kind and find the love you deserve.

    • @imaamericangirl1406
      @imaamericangirl1406 Рік тому +3

      @@estellewadsworth4187ho are you to tell her that? Do not be deceived by thinking you are being helpful. She will be rewarded by God for sticking to her vows. We answer to Him not to our flesh.

  • @Dalcar.avotreestudio
    @Dalcar.avotreestudio Рік тому +20

    This is for me.
    He isn't dangerous, unless I try to leave, or push my viewpoint.
    I'm focusing on healing myself and on my purpose.
    If I can't leave, I can shift my focus.
    It's leaving him feeling unsure. Not sure what will happen, but I'm leaving it to God.
    Thank you.

    • @audreycooper163
      @audreycooper163 Рік тому

      All good infirmation ,your videos gave me understanding . I like that all things work together for my good and he is a beliver. I wish him the best of God

    • @Dalcar.avotreestudio
      @Dalcar.avotreestudio Рік тому +1

      @@audreycooper163 who is a believer?
      If you mean my husband, he's not a believer. He says he believes in God but he doesn't have a relationship with Him. He is being used by Satan.
      This is not a war of flesh but in the spirit.
      Satan wants to destroy Christian believers.
      But my God, Jesus is stronger.

  • @joanswider3578
    @joanswider3578 11 місяців тому +7

    Finding this very helpful. Thank you for following your purpose and for your heartfelt encouragement.
    Gods way is the best way

  • @Jeanette-mv7hw
    @Jeanette-mv7hw 10 місяців тому +5

    You just helped me beyond belief! It’s 2 of my kids so it’s been heartbreaking but I just take them to prayer. My heart has been crushed and I’ve blamed myself but now I get it all! God is doing work in my heart and mind so I can only handle myself and not try to change them. You are so smart and thank you!

  • @RealLadi228
    @RealLadi228 Рік тому +21

    Yes I take accountability
    Yes I Thank God for the lessons
    I've become the person God can use any time and any place.

  • @sissysp8924
    @sissysp8924 Рік тому +32

    Thank you and thank God for my narcissistic husband who is teaching me how to learn to not be argued about him thinking I’m wrong in every way. I feel I can rise above this. Yep it’s on him. I turned him over to God to show him his truth in himself. Focusing on myself and Gods purpose for me. Loving myself more and more daily. ❤ to you for everything you are doing.

    • @maureenmcgahren7559
      @maureenmcgahren7559 Рік тому +2

      Lord my narc has passed,may I know how to live beautifully for Jesus amen

  • @ANGIE9595
    @ANGIE9595 2 роки тому +103

    I was recently introduced to a new mommy group. I live in the country, and we are 30 minutes from town. It’s been nice not having to drive so far for get togethers. Unfortunately one of the mothers who introduced me to this group is showing a lot of toxic behaviors. She is also a Christian. But my God given intuition is telling me to separate myself. I hate this because my child has developed a friendship with her child. After healing from a relationship with my narcissistic mother it’s very easy for me to see the red flags 🚩Thank you for this video ❤

    • @AmandathePandaBooks
      @AmandathePandaBooks Рік тому +10

      But they are NOT born again holy spirit changed believers! You will know them by their fruits!! Stay away!!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Рік тому +6

      @@AmandathePandaBooks and by what the Holy Spirit tells u when u are in their presence...

    • @genxx2724
      @genxx2724 Рік тому +12

      You don’t want your child to be affected by her in the coming years.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe Рік тому +8

      @@genxx2724 agreed, best to separate now instead of letting any bad root grow.

    • @reesedaniel5835
      @reesedaniel5835 Рік тому +8

      Anyone can call themselves a "Christian" but that doesn't mean they ARE ONE. Jesus said you will know them by their fruits. If they act like a serpent, they are a SERPENT not a Christian.

  • @sharonlampert7452
    @sharonlampert7452 Рік тому +1

    God is Go! Do! God Can Only Do for You What Can Do For You!

  • @CaptainsLady
    @CaptainsLady 11 місяців тому +2

    #1 Identify your triggers
    #2 Thank God for them
    #3 Find your purpose
    Get it? Got it? Good!!!
    Thank you Kris and God bless you!!!

  • @willwalker6670
    @willwalker6670 Рік тому +17

    Illumination of your (my) shortcomings doesn’t eliminate the shortcomings of others… what a blessing from this lesson!
    Thank you, Lord, for showing me my shortcomings so that I can grow closer to you. Praise God. I pray the Father will reveal His purpose for me as I struggle with a narcissistic person at work.

  • @Arleene1197
    @Arleene1197 Рік тому +41

    I don’t usually comment, but I found it necessary to express how deeply grateful and blessed I feel to have come across your video. I’m currently in a toxic situation that I find I can’t get out of. But now I’ve gotten clarity and hope because of your video.

    • @AmandathePandaBooks
      @AmandathePandaBooks Рік тому +4

      Get out! Even if you have to live in a storage unit or a car!! Millions do it. Just get out, rent a po box, etc.

    • @williammaldonado6132
      @williammaldonado6132 Рік тому +2

      Good for you 🙏

    • @janetdecuir9887
      @janetdecuir9887 Рік тому +2

      Soooo happy for you!!! I'm working on my situation as we speak!

    • @VickieKaave-z9f
      @VickieKaave-z9f 8 місяців тому

      I started learning about narcissism less than a year now, I've been in an abusive marriage with a narc for about 13 years now all these while I couldn't understand what was going on until I stumbled on the word 'narcissism' on facebook and began to listen and watch videos on the subject, my next challenge was 'what do I do now considering that I am a Christian and we have 2 kids'? Listening to you today has given me a new perspective into the situation and I must say a very big THANK YOU to you.

  • @donna-colorado8443
    @donna-colorado8443 2 роки тому +14

    Oh my goodness, now I understand what triggers do and I need God's healing power to overcome.

  • @annettepeltola8615
    @annettepeltola8615 Рік тому +1

    Sometimes saying good things as 'Jesus Loves me and you' has broken curses over both of us and changed the whole atmosphere. The Word of God is a mighty weapon, It gives us strength and wisdom to Say the right things at the right time and defends us from saying the wrong things.

  • @divergentone777
    @divergentone777 Рік тому +2

    Our greatest battle is with SELF

  • @gelilanegussie4981
    @gelilanegussie4981 2 роки тому +22

    May God bless you abundantly!! I never saw toxic people as a gift from God. To help us pull out what is not great in us and to purify us.

  • @BlueNavy409
    @BlueNavy409 Рік тому +15

    I Love The Way You Use The Bible ! 🙏🏼♥️✝️♥️🙏🏼

  • @beautifulbuds
    @beautifulbuds 2 роки тому +16

    How Blessed I am to have found you!!!!!!
    ....be careful where you hang your hope...
    Hallelujah!!

  • @gillyp710
    @gillyp710 Рік тому +2

    It always amazes me how people who are close to God have such an intelligence.

  • @ATumblelinaTruth7777
    @ATumblelinaTruth7777 Рік тому +3

    Used by Family, Husband, Friends & Now Coworkers I’ve been alone for Over 10 years Now because I seem to be a magnet for Narcissists, users and abusers!!!

  • @AprendiendoconRuth
    @AprendiendoconRuth Рік тому +8

    I agree, Self-examination should be a constant task for believers. Thank you!

  • @RhondaR4
    @RhondaR4 2 роки тому +27

    GOD knew I needed this!🙏🏽

  • @mariaalexander7037
    @mariaalexander7037 2 роки тому +10

    My Parish Priest did say in his homily "you cannot it alone, you have to call upon the Holy Spirit."

  • @tammybagwell1741
    @tammybagwell1741 9 місяців тому +1

    After 50 years of praying for narcissistic parents and them "changing" for a moment. Prayer is all I got. Just waiting on God to tell me where and when to go. Being used and discarded several times because I was supposed to "honor them" I'm so grateful for those who are shedding light on those horrible "abuse of power"

  • @CLCx100
    @CLCx100 Рік тому +2

    Yes has had the manipulation of a toxic person. I pray for this person alot. This is for me

  • @tawnicapurro4528
    @tawnicapurro4528 Рік тому +8

    This is so accurate and so good to hear. God has definitely used my husband and family members to reveal ugly things that I slowed in my heart. Lots of self examination has taken place over the years and it’s so beautiful to allow God to change us ❤

  • @helenewebster9462
    @helenewebster9462 Рік тому +3

    God can take what was meant to cause me harm, God will turn it around for my Good.

  • @haiderqureshi9122
    @haiderqureshi9122 2 роки тому +7

    Yes toxic people are users the one i encountered always asked for money and when I stopped giving it became super abusive

  • @cyndirutherford9626
    @cyndirutherford9626 2 місяці тому +1

    Yes! Yes!!! God is using this person to help me grow… I do recognize this! It’s a Blessing 🙏♥️

  • @mommagigful
    @mommagigful Рік тому +1

    When the student is ready the teacher will appear! Thank you

  • @stylist62
    @stylist62 Рік тому +17

    Amen! You are right, I feel deeply hurt damaged, in 1 1/2 year, I was having compassion for him, thinking he had lot of pressure, until my friend told me, He was abusing me,I was grieving few deaths when I met him, he was a wolf😭I really want him to have consequences , I need help
    Thank you, the warefare was so intense, you have no time to process, he wasn’t only taking freeeloading, he was filling my garage and storage with junk, stealing from me, the whole time

    • @middleofnowhere1313
      @middleofnowhere1313 Рік тому

      Were you with my ex? A hoarding narc who's out to drain your resources. I ditched mine in 2010.

  • @mistybabcock9548
    @mistybabcock9548 2 роки тому +7

    If the "worst" came out it was already there. I can see God using that situation as a tool to take back responsibility over oneself.

  • @janicelee3209
    @janicelee3209 Рік тому +15

    Thank you for valuable content ❤ I have done so much self work to restore my Joy. I realise I can be Kind And Protect My Joy. After 41 yrs of trying to support and build him up from being so negative, I started the process to leave. I have decided to 'Live Happily Ever After'.❤

  • @billiewillingham-cm3sc
    @billiewillingham-cm3sc 4 місяці тому +2

    Yes I definitely felt used

  • @jeanellreynolds7291
    @jeanellreynolds7291 Рік тому +6

    Wow. I truly needed this. I’m currently dealing with a toxic supervisor and I often feel sad and afraid when I’m around her. She’s trying to set me up to fail. I really need my job and don’t know what to do but pray. 🙏🏽

    • @sisterfaith2616
      @sisterfaith2616 Рік тому +2

      Pray and journal so you recognize God's voice from your own feelings. when you do your journal you will begin to recognize your own flaws and might help you to recognize why is she acting that way towards you.

    • @TruthInspector
      @TruthInspector Рік тому +3

      Observe don't absorb

    • @jeanellreynolds7291
      @jeanellreynolds7291 Рік тому

      @@sisterfaith2616 ok thank you 🙏🏽

    • @jeanellreynolds7291
      @jeanellreynolds7291 Рік тому +1

      @@TruthInspector ok thanks for the great advice. 🙏🏽

    • @TruthInspector
      @TruthInspector Рік тому

      @@jeanellreynolds7291 I've been in this situation at least three separate times. Its spiritual warfare. Most likely you won't be able to appease this person and be firm, but reasonable and don't let her walk over you and remember, when you look back on this situation you're going to want to look back on it and say I don't regret anything I did. My biggest regret is is I could not process things quick enough in the moment to stop what was happening or address it. I was so used to being abused at home that this was just more of it. If I could do it over again, I would not have let these people frazzle me to the point of absolute anxiety and neurosis. It's not worth it whatsoever and I think because I feared man more than God although I fear God, so don't get me wrong, but I let men put fear into me instead of just trusting God to get me through it without the fear of man. It's very hard because it was part of my earlier upbringing and the way I was programmed just to put up with it. I think I regret most not standing up for myself and valuing myself enough to not be treated like that. Or thinking that these people were better than me or more capable because they werent. I wish I could be there to help you through the situation and whisper instructions in your ears to what to do when she treats you a certain way because it's much easier when you're not emotionally reacting to it yourself to help somebody else. Part of my issue is I was emotionally overwhelmed because you know when they're setting you up to fail and I think if you know that, I've been there and I remember my ex-fiance telling me the demons behind those people know who you are in Christ and I'm assuming you're a Christian. Anyway I hope things go better for you and I'll pray for you

  • @mariaalexander7037
    @mariaalexander7037 2 роки тому +22

    I really thank God for them because as I said in another comment, I am drawn closer to my Lord with whom I always wanted from my youth, to be in A close relationship.

  • @nexus3403
    @nexus3403 Рік тому +9

    This is so comprehensive, practical and yet also soooo Scripturally based…quite possibly the best advice I’ve ever heard!!!!! 👌🏾

  • @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285
    @lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 3 місяці тому +1

    This is one of the most powerful messages I have heard on this topic. Thank you for explaining it so well and thorough. Blessings to you

  • @naturalist369
    @naturalist369 2 місяці тому

    Excellent example of reframing !
    One of St.Germain's I AM Affirmations to keep us on track from taking the bait is :
    I AM forbidding this nonsense !
    Thank you ! Much Love and Light to ALL 💜🌟🎶🙏🏼😇🌈🕊💫

  • @nancylang8858
    @nancylang8858 2 роки тому +37

    Amen. You are right on, Sister! I'm 68 and I've had my share of these people A LOT in my life. Thanks to Jesus, my Lord, my God...i can smell them when they come around me. Only God reveals to me and warns me. It's my duty and responsibility to act accordingly. I trust no one but Jesus! He has gotten me through many many situations. I mean where I was close to losing my life and didn't even realize until I was rid of that person. It's hard to recognize when someone dresses up in sheep's clothing and sugar coating themselves when you are so vulnerable.
    God has taught me lessons from my own mistakes. Amen!

    • @lisakeller9105
      @lisakeller9105 Рік тому

      I am 63, and have to move away from my narcissist mother. I prayed to get clarity on our relationship when the narcissist information
      has shown me the answer.

  • @mcintron3491
    @mcintron3491 Рік тому +11

    I'm learning so much from your videos, and the fact that they are shown through a biblical lens is so God honoring. Thank you so much. ❤

  • @Hunny5321
    @Hunny5321 Рік тому +7

    Amen. I have played the victim so long. I've missed my opportunity to grow. I will watch this again and again. Thank you for your understanding and enlightening words that are renewing my mind and encouraging my relationship with God. I have been bonded by trauma, and I know it now. It makes sense of the insane choices I have made over and over.

  • @MikaRoddy
    @MikaRoddy 4 місяці тому +1

    This channel has helped heal and bless me sooo much! There’s nothing like turning the mirror to yourself! This message changed me for the better forever! ❤ 💯 ❤️

  • @楊宜強
    @楊宜強 Рік тому +1

    Others would guilt me into staying with him because they didn't want to have to deal with him. Even after I told them about the abuse, they would say, "you have no other choice since you depend on him financially". No mention that he had cheated and manipulated to get only his name on everything. So I stopped wasting my time with anyone.I cried out to God. He helped me get separated from him! I then found out on UA-cam about narcissists. Since then I have been educating myself to understand what I'm dealing with so I can be empowered. Thank you so much for sharing what the Bible says to help ourselves. This video is extremely valuable for our healing, Kris !

  • @lovearttherapyalways
    @lovearttherapyalways 2 роки тому +22

    I agree with all you are sharing and thank you for this great video! There are some circumstances however where there is abuse, very abusive family members that we need to walk away from..too much toxicity can contaminate anyone... maybe that is why the Word of God tells us to be careful to not be around angry people or the immoral lest they corrupt us. God bless you!

  • @vanessas2363
    @vanessas2363 2 роки тому +12

    I've been abused, exploited and manipulated all my life.

    • @valpal_0112
      @valpal_0112 2 роки тому +3

      Same

    • @vanessas2363
      @vanessas2363 2 роки тому +1

      @@valpal_0112 it's hideous isn't it . Had insomnia for years over it all. CPTSD

  • @neelagovender1971
    @neelagovender1971 Рік тому +3

    So true Kris I suffered for 47 years not knowing he was a toxic man. He fits in 100 per cent. I finally chased him out.

  • @kaywest7987
    @kaywest7987 11 місяців тому +1

    Thanks!

  • @tamaradeeks2707
    @tamaradeeks2707 Рік тому +1

    My mum suffered at the hands of her father, which I turn moulded her into the person she was towards me, her only daughter, I loved her & pray for our Lord to forgive her & her actions towards me

  • @yeshuasbelovedmiracle7085
    @yeshuasbelovedmiracle7085 2 роки тому +25

    You’re ministry is of Great blessing!!! So many suffer in silence and try to endure relationships rather than enjoying their relationships!

  • @amymcmillan3796
    @amymcmillan3796 Рік тому +11

    AMEN! The reward I received for staying, as the Lord told me to do, was a SUPERNATURAL PEACE and JOY. An amazing, unexplainable power to get me through the tough spots.

    • @lynnwillis4332
      @lynnwillis4332 Рік тому +1

      Wow. I would love to hear about this. I need help as I am in a very unique situation.

  • @lilirebeccaskinner6670
    @lilirebeccaskinner6670 Рік тому +6

    The absolute best video for me out of hundreds that I have listened to across the board on dealing with narcissism!!!

  • @rachealphelan1279
    @rachealphelan1279 2 місяці тому

    This has helped me to understand how to stay in control of my life and focus on me and my kids and get closer to God. 15 years married to my husband and I have never understood why a Christian person can be horrible to me and his kids. Thank you

  • @cecilycornishphdleadership9658

    Thank you God for bringing these toxic christians and leaders un mt life! Im growing and working out my " own soul salvation"!

  • @littleiodine9480
    @littleiodine9480 2 роки тому +13

    Thank you. I needed this guidance. 🥰💞 I would like to add, one can pray for another many miles away. Also, how often do you pray(thinking about this other). God is not deaf. Pray, turn your energy on self like the lady says. Also, what Triggers me, may be a person's treatment of me, that I once allowed, which hurt me and my self esteem, and I was quiet about, and now I am strong enough to set a boundary and KEEP it, or get away from said person. For me, triggers are my friends now. They help me to decern my next steps. 💗

  • @Bec_loves_Jesus
    @Bec_loves_Jesus Рік тому +9

    Thank you for this talk. I had a lot of aha moments from this. Your channel has been a great guide, I have only recently accepted Jesus as my lord and saviour. Thank you God. Amen 🙏

  • @marjattaelliott1158
    @marjattaelliott1158 Рік тому +5

    This was very helpful and eye opening. Thank you for this video.

  • @lifeisbeautiful-nerin
    @lifeisbeautiful-nerin Рік тому +2

    100% felt used...in our 12 year marriage...But I know God is in control and knows how to save me ...spiritually and physically

  • @manakams
    @manakams Рік тому +1

    This is a fresh way of seeing things.