What to Expect After Going 'No-Contact' - Day 4

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 953

  • @Kris_Reece
    @Kris_Reece  Рік тому +29

    FREE 5 Day Created with Purpose Devotional
    krisreece.com/5-day-devotional-series/

    • @INDOMINION
      @INDOMINION 4 місяці тому

      You are a sick person. It is human nature to feel hurt and rejected when someone doesn't accept your apology. Your psychology is twisted. The devil lives in your heart.

    • @INDOMINION
      @INDOMINION 4 місяці тому

      Sick and twisted.

    • @VeronicaMartinez-sl9nu
      @VeronicaMartinez-sl9nu 23 години тому

      Pictures of birthday and other holidays. Trying to help mowing my lawn we have separate homes. Calling my phone and when I didn't answer just silence on my voicemail. Leaving gifts on Christmas , mother's day, and birthday. Which never celebrates mother's day for year because his mother passed away he used to go fishing on that day .

  • @TYGZus777
    @TYGZus777 Рік тому +443

    I can accept the narcissistic people's behavior after enforcing my boundaries. However, I am completely flabbergasted at everyone else's support of them. It is amazing how physically attractive, charismatic people can get away with such horrific behaviors.

    • @bubbalintina-kt4so
      @bubbalintina-kt4so Рік тому +27

      I feel you. They are gold to others

    • @kat-75
      @kat-75 Рік тому +25

      Not so good looking physically speaking...people do that too.

    • @Rise-ce1wb
      @Rise-ce1wb Рік тому +9

      I agree, I just had a conversation on this today.

    • @octoberdawn1087
      @octoberdawn1087 Рік тому +6

      Yaaaaaassss omg

    • @octoberdawn1087
      @octoberdawn1087 Рік тому +27

      And because they're beautiful, they accuse me of being jealous. My spectrum brain cannot be jealous of the action of self obsessiin with themselves. I'm obsessed with... going to the thrift stores, painting, playing my guitar, Star Trek obviously, This kind of stuff.
      The other weird thing is that my 17 year old daughter has way better boundaries than i ever have had and I feel guilty about that. I know I traumatized my kid because I used to drink but I quit 8 years ago.. And she tells me she loves me every day now and I don't know what I did to deserve her forgiveness.
      I am grateful for it

  • @KleeKaiPuppies
    @KleeKaiPuppies Рік тому +188

    Going no contact is def not easy. Been a year plus of zero contact w him and anyone he was associated w. It’s way better than being in hell w all their sick ways. Much love sent to anyone dealing w a narc or narcs. They’re awful but you can prevail and you should.
    I bought a small farm, got a puppy, started gardening and got back into cooking.
    You deserve lots of love❤

    • @jeannieotb8491
      @jeannieotb8491 11 місяців тому +2

      my dream xx love and light xx

    • @cathyfiorito
      @cathyfiorito 11 місяців тому +1

      Sooo wonderful

    • @nancymcgrath6283
      @nancymcgrath6283 10 місяців тому +1

      That’s wonderful!!❤

    • @LanaLane46
      @LanaLane46 9 місяців тому +1

      Omg awesome farm life is so beautiful and healing 🙏

    • @doorpakor5813
      @doorpakor5813 8 місяців тому +1

      You're doing amazing 👏

  • @KenishaCable
    @KenishaCable Рік тому +145

    "A title doesn’t give someone permission to mistreat you." Yes!! Thank you!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🥰👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @alfredondie4424
    @alfredondie4424 Рік тому +74

    I am scared, yet I trust the Lord for protection. I am on 7 days of cut off. There has already been an attempt to smear me. Oh Lord prepares me for this. Let your grace be sufficient for me in this season.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 11 місяців тому +5

      avoid the pple that they know; make friends in other venues.

    • @elizabethd.2398
      @elizabethd.2398 9 місяців тому +3

      Eleven years of NC for me now. The way we should look at this is that the fake friends and flying monkeys will all show themselves to us. We should actually be happy that the narcissist has done us a huge favor by showing us who’s on our side and who isn’t. “You will know them by their fruit.” 🍇

    • @melissaculpepper7663
      @melissaculpepper7663 7 місяців тому +1

      My loving husband gently showed me how I was addicted to the drama. So, like any addiction, you gotta go “Cold Turkey”!!! I did not follow his advice, initially. God allowed me to choose to engage them and suffer as a result. I finally submitted my weakness and will to Lord Jesus. He has delivered me from that addiction to the drama and I am fully recovered from it and have been no contact for 5 years!!! Lean into Jesus! He will carry you through!

    • @zxcvzxcvzxc
      @zxcvzxcvzxc 6 місяців тому

      How are you doing beloved? ❤️

    • @LordJesus-e2p
      @LordJesus-e2p 6 місяців тому +1

      Praying for you remember the Lord is with you and give it all to Jesus.

  • @cmsbeth
    @cmsbeth Рік тому +268

    No contact is a boundary that you set to protect yourself from further abuse. It is not punishment. It is a safe haven. It is forever. 😢

    • @almohvn33
      @almohvn33 Рік тому +11

      Beautiful!

    • @sharlafenwick4056
      @sharlafenwick4056 9 місяців тому

      But she says they will lash out at you & smear your good name. Maybe even be dangerous! Be careful ladies.

    • @anaid4718
      @anaid4718 7 місяців тому

      Totally agree you need to protect ur self n ur family.

    • @jamiereneemilligan
      @jamiereneemilligan 2 місяці тому

      Yes you never want to live with evil

  • @charlottebruce979
    @charlottebruce979 Рік тому +33

    I went no contact and blocked him from everything, so I got no back lash whatsoever. All I got was peace and quiet, and I don't care what he's thinking or saying or doing because I don't care.

  • @apconnections9691
    @apconnections9691 Рік тому +48

    My narc shredded my heart and brains through manipulation and hoovering. I felt I had no where to turn. So many wrong decisions I made trying to get away from the cleverly laid snares. Now, my Helper, given to me from Christ, teaches me everyday how, when, where, and why drawing boundaries is essential in my life going forward.
    Bitterness will NOT take root ever! Thank you for your prayer.

    • @nixinixi7
      @nixinixi7 Рік тому +2

      I feel so bitter right now, it’s been5 months🫣

    • @ottoadsit1241
      @ottoadsit1241 Рік тому

      The truth that remains in your heart will make you stronger. The narc will get weaker on the inside. The truth will set you free ...eventually, over time.

  • @deborah.hdowner226
    @deborah.hdowner226 Рік тому +54

    I am praying against the bitterness right now.

  • @baddriversofrva
    @baddriversofrva Рік тому +136

    Thank you for this point. I went NC with my mom almost two years ago for continually testing my boundaries, giving unsolicited advice, and gaslighting, to name a few. I forgive her and respect her from afar. Cutting off her narc supply and codependency from me, her only child, gave me freedom.

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Рік тому +22

      I'm glad to hear that you're forgiving and honoring but you also finally have peace.

    • @baddriversofrva
      @baddriversofrva Рік тому +19

      @@Kris_Reece Thank you, and I am so grateful for your ministry. Finding someone on UA-cam who spoke on these issues from a biblical perspective was rough.

    • @sunshine-db2zm
      @sunshine-db2zm Рік тому +7

      Me too...been no contact a year now

    • @Corinna_Schuett_GER
      @Corinna_Schuett_GER Рік тому +9

      @@baddriversofrva I'm a single daughter too, sometimes I cannot even wrap my head around the fact how ANY parent could treat their single child that way, EVER.

    • @Corinna_Schuett_GER
      @Corinna_Schuett_GER Рік тому

      @@baddriversofrva Dr Les Carter is a good YT source too yet he's not born again in Gods Spirit.

  • @dr.bunnywilson8321
    @dr.bunnywilson8321 Рік тому +20

    Been enduring narcs ALL my life!!!75 years young not giving up YET....as long as God is with me.... he's already done ALL THAT!!!!!

  • @kw25627
    @kw25627 11 місяців тому +10

    The thing that shocked me the most was how all of my family rallied to their defense - including my husband. Our marriage has never fully recovered from it. I was the one who was unreasonable and everything was my fault, even though everyone had witnessed their behavior towards me. "You just need to get over it and forgive. We need peace." They were enabling the offender instead of defending the victim (me). They totally had them snowed with the empty apology. "I'm sorry. Are you happy now?" Stated with an eyeroll and a snark. Thank you for helping me to see the dynamics happening here; it helps to ease the feelings of betrayal.

    • @KatI422-r3m
      @KatI422-r3m 8 місяців тому

      Stay the course. Stay godly even when provoked. Pray for your abusers. God sees and knows. He will not be mocked by evildoers. You will be vindicated.

  • @srl8036
    @srl8036 Рік тому +63

    This is EXCELLENT from a Christian Perspective. Powerful content! So rich!

  • @drawingrox
    @drawingrox 10 місяців тому +5

    I am going through this with my oldest son. It’s so hard but it feels better not having to be bashed and berated constantly by him. He needs prayer.

  • @pineneedleknits
    @pineneedleknits 9 місяців тому +4

    Day 2 of no contact with my narcissistic mother. Praying for her and those in her close circle, but from a distance.

  • @torshiaseales5061
    @torshiaseales5061 Рік тому +50

    So true. In my case my toxic partner called all my friends in a failed smear campaign. He called MY closest friends - calling 2 of them up to 20 times in one day! Lucky for me, MY friends put him in his place!!!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 11 місяців тому +3

      THOSE are true friends!!

    • @cathyfiorito
      @cathyfiorito 11 місяців тому +1

      This is a Blessing strong true love of friends
      God Bless

  • @beccavision933
    @beccavision933 Рік тому +16

    My Narcissistic sister and elderly mother have become unbearable. Last straw for me was my mother physically assaulted me and left a 3 inch bruise on my arm. I am now in no contact for a month. My Mom posted on facebook a meme about all a mother wants is love from her children. She is now telling people I abandoned her. (mind you I have been a loving giving daughter to her my whole life, especially the past 6 years moved to live near her to take care of her).This woman is mommy dearest times 10 and my sister encourages her. No contact so far has been a relief and in my 60s realized I was abused my whole life but didnt know it. Thank you for validating that I am doing the right thing.

  • @billevans4470
    @billevans4470 Рік тому +68

    Day one, time to unravel this unholy mess. Please pray for me to stay strong and move forward.

    • @angelagrant2943
      @angelagrant2943 Рік тому +3

      God bless you, I'm going through it to .

    • @deborahhoffman7394
      @deborahhoffman7394 Рік тому

      Well said. I can identify. Amen.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 11 місяців тому +1

      you dont unravel it, you DISCARD IT. block them, dont call them, see them or anyone who knows them.

    • @_-YoMoMMa-_
      @_-YoMoMMa-_ 8 місяців тому

      I hope things have gotten easier with time

  • @andronicagonzales2206
    @andronicagonzales2206 Рік тому +83

    I have really prayed to the Lord for good counsel and your channel has came up and helped me so much with a family cut off. I have been gaslit and judged so much and its the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I have had to keep this to myself and work through it on prayer because there aren't people I can trust that have my best interest. I'm am so greatful that you have this wisdom to share and to help me. Even though you don't know me and well never meet but your helping me so much to proccess what's happening and to have the counsel I need. This is such a hard time and it has weighed me down with depression. Just having biblical insight and the knowledge you are applying to it completely helps me.

    • @chautran2588
      @chautran2588 Рік тому +2

      Tapping therapy (on UA-cam) can help with your depression. It's a free DIY.

    • @kellyanne7225
      @kellyanne7225 Рік тому +4

      God gives us a sound mind. Satan tries to remove it. God absolutely cares about your emotional health and we are told to get Godly counsel.
      I have on 3 occasions because of three different traumatic circumstances. I can’t imagine how I could have gotten through without those people, who I know God provided at those times.
      Now I am wanting to be that helpful person for others!

    • @beckyg8028
      @beckyg8028 Рік тому +5

      You're not alone. I'm going through the same thing.😢

    • @HBudianu
      @HBudianu Рік тому +1

      God bless you. Yes. People don't always have our best interests at heart. They usually don't understand how bad things really are and the last thing we need is for our issues to be downplayed and not taken seriously because we did that to ourselves long enough. Praise the Lord you have Him! Looks like He is jealous for you ☺️ ❤

  • @gwendolynwehage6336
    @gwendolynwehage6336 Рік тому +23

    I have had narcissists come back later after being disrespectful and act so sticky nice it was easy to see they were fake. Its the sweet/mean cycle, if mean doesn't work they will try sweet. When sweet doesn't work they will go back to mean until they don't see either working, then they disappear.

  • @susanwilliams8234
    @susanwilliams8234 Рік тому +16

    Wow! You hit the nail on the head! Kris Reece - Jesus is using you in a mighty way. Please know your words and guidance have been not only validation for my actions via walking with God but also a relief to know I am not crazy. God Bless you!

  • @skittlesskittles7577
    @skittlesskittles7577 Рік тому +55

    It’s been almost a year since I went no contact and SO THANKFUL I did so I can breathe and experience peace. The problem now is having the flashbacks and reminders that stir up hurt and anger. I still love them and forgive them. My hope is that true healing can come from the hurt and anger. Still, I couldn’t be more thankful to be on the road to healing instead of the constant road of turmoil and chaos!
    I can finally truly focus on relationships with God, my husband and children. Thank you God. ❤️✝️

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Рік тому +7

      May God continue to bless you on your journey! Thank you for sharing

    • @almohvn33
      @almohvn33 Рік тому +7

      Recovery for any hurt... can take months, years.... With every breath.. you are freer!!!!!

    • @donaldleek1325
      @donaldleek1325 8 місяців тому

      😢 don't forget that the person you still love doesn't exist

  • @theflowerangel5724
    @theflowerangel5724 Рік тому +19

    Also, remember, the narcissist will backstab and talk badly about you behind your back.

    • @mr.makedonija2627
      @mr.makedonija2627 Рік тому +2

      Always have . Always will.

    • @nancyjohnson5483
      @nancyjohnson5483 7 місяців тому

      she always did so....no loss

    • @Ana-n8y1c
      @Ana-n8y1c 7 місяців тому

      Never care what sinners think, only care what God thinks

  • @jeaniewheeler191
    @jeaniewheeler191 11 місяців тому +3

    You are helping me so much. I've watched so many of your videos. I just wanted to say thank you. I was searching for Christian Counselor to help me heal. I believe God gave you to me. Thank you so much.

  • @zinnia3684
    @zinnia3684 Рік тому +19

    My 106 year old dad who is not a Christian is in his last days. I will soon have to be in the company of my narcissistic family. I am a born again Christian and that is another divide. Being an empathy in the mix is a real stumbling block especially when there will be so little of any realistic knowledge of what comes after the death of a nonbeliever. It will be my biggest challenge. I will let the Lord lead me in all things and button my lip. Please pray for my dad at this time of such urgency that he soften his hardened heart and call out to the Saviour.

  • @terrymassie7656
    @terrymassie7656 8 місяців тому +4

    The relationship with THEM is going nowhere I'm DONE. I'm enjoying my peace and freedom by distancing myself.
    Unfortunately, I'll have to let go of the enablers to continue healing.

  • @moonlightstargem1006
    @moonlightstargem1006 Рік тому +21

    I agree don’t ever respond immediately. They call repeatedly one after the other. It almost felt scary and demonic at one point. I went through a lot of scary moments!

    • @exlesoes
      @exlesoes Рік тому

      Me too
      We are not anyones punching bag(s) either they want to gang up on individuals

  • @teresapatterson7837
    @teresapatterson7837 Рік тому +7

    OMG! These teachings have helped me so much. The Lord has revealed to me that my Father is a Narcissist. Suddenly Everything in my childhood made since. Also you’ve confirmed things I felt Holy Spirit told me to do. For so long I thought I needed to tolerate toxic relationships to keep from being alone. Then the Lord showed me he was all I need, and he would make up for the loss. It’s better to be alone than to settle, and this is in friendship or romantic relationships.

    • @mannalawson432
      @mannalawson432 Рік тому +1

      I 100% agree and I pray that the Lord will continue to meet you in this space and love you so well! May He continue to be all that you ever need/want in this life and the next!❤❤❤

  • @gloriaslusher2634
    @gloriaslusher2634 7 місяців тому +2

    This is very true, they will prove it, Yes this is very helpful. They definitely will try to change...❤

  • @Meggiebeth19
    @Meggiebeth19 Рік тому +10

    Interesting about narcissists & apologies. They apologize but it’s brief & they expect an apology in return. Don’t fall for their manipulation! Spot on if you don’t reply immediately to a txt from them. Interestingly, they have to be in control- control everything but they lack self control. They’re always right in their eyes, they know everything in their eyes & look out if you disagree- any self control disappears & rage erupts from them. Great channel. God Bless you all.

  • @JulieAnnStone
    @JulieAnnStone 8 місяців тому +1

    Yes, this is precisely what my husband and I are experiencing!!

  • @MegaSinglechick
    @MegaSinglechick Рік тому +66

    My mother says sorry all the time, but it's just a word and her behaviour always goes right back to how she's always been. They are expert manipulators and the older they get, the worse they get.

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Рік тому +10

      They do tend to get worse with age. :(

    • @Corinna_Schuett_GER
      @Corinna_Schuett_GER Рік тому +2

      @@Kris_Reece You could do another video on the elderly narcissist e.g. on Proverbs 1:20-31 they will implode themselves after all. 😄👍

    • @TruthBeTold0914
      @TruthBeTold0914 Рік тому +3

      ​@@Kris_Reece Okay, thank you for saying that. I noticed this with my NPD mother and thought I was going crazy (as per usual in any relationship with them). She 💯 gets worse with age.

    • @buffy1835
      @buffy1835 Рік тому +4

      I found with my mother, she got, for lack of better words, sloppy in her old age to hide who she really is. Disheartening

    • @Melissa_John3_16
      @Melissa_John3_16 11 місяців тому +2

      Mine said sorry then hung up on me!

  • @mariamadsen7071
    @mariamadsen7071 5 місяців тому +5

    A total abandonment and complete rejection from everyone. Every single person I knew (cousins, siblings, community, acquaintances, etc) even my neighbours. My father made sure to poison every paths around me. He knew I loved cats and once terrorized me by killing/slicing a cat and leave it on my door steps. I am trying to heal one step at a time, the abuse was undescribable.
    Kris, you are a gift from God to me, God bless you! ❤

  • @chautran2588
    @chautran2588 Рік тому +27

    Their grandiose mind never see anything wrong with them. It's always your fault. Period.

  • @rt2244
    @rt2244 Рік тому +23

    Thank you. Healing and peace are coming to me. For a long time I felt like I was crazy and no one would believe me. I have gone no contact with my mother and relatives.while going no contact the one constantly contacting me is my mothers sister she is an enabler and loves gossip.

    • @tonyaberney156
      @tonyaberney156 Рік тому +1

      I pray soon 🙏 peace n healing is on the way for me also.. peace be with you.

  • @kesteramoah5742
    @kesteramoah5742 Рік тому +7

    You are educating me. I understand now

  • @elainesmith5313
    @elainesmith5313 Рік тому +5

    Kris.....you have total described my life with the Narcissist for 45 yrs. He died in Jan. 2022. His Narcissist Mother. "Thought"? That she was going to put me in his place to take care of her. 6months after his death apparently she "Thought she could rail on me to whip me into shape....she got the surprise of her life because 45 yrs of stored anger from me broke loose, and believe me it was not pretty. I discarded her and the Flying Monkeys in the family. I am FREE AND MOVING ON IN NORTH CAROLINA!
    THEY ARE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT!!!
    I AM A BELIEVER IN JESUS CHRIST. NOW I know how He felt clearing out the Temple. Praises to God!!!!!!

  • @JamesTheising
    @JamesTheising Рік тому +19

    I want to thank you for all of your teachings! It has driven me to self reflect on all of my past sins and dig deeper into Gods word.

  • @jrvargas3096
    @jrvargas3096 Рік тому +7

    It’s been 9 months since GOD saved my life I been learning a lot under my pastor especially biblically advice on my situation I told my ex about the conversation me and my pastor had and she did not like it, the truth is I rather be more obedient to the word of GOD that’s more important.

  • @PistolAndPluck
    @PistolAndPluck Рік тому +12

    The "I'm sorry" is the equivalent of that hideous, itchy sweater that you're forced, through guilt, to wear despite the fact that it gives you hives and makes you overheat... "You'll wear it and be grateful!"
    Nope, I grew out of that sweater! Merry Christmas to all who have as well!
    I thank GOD for growing into an adult and being able to make my own, healthy and comfortable choices. HE is a good Father.
    Thankful for Kris also, a good guidepost along the path.

    • @ShoshiPlatypus
      @ShoshiPlatypus Рік тому +1

      Love the analogy of the horrible sweater! Is it one of those hideous Christmas ones lol!

    • @mannalawson432
      @mannalawson432 Рік тому +1

      This is such a truthful analogy! ❤ Thanks so much for sharing!

  • @anngudenrath3028
    @anngudenrath3028 Рік тому +9

    Thank you thank you for this confirmation! FINALLY getting wholeness and health in all of this at nearly 70 yrs old and divorced from One of these at 50 yrs of marriage!

  • @sammyrnaj
    @sammyrnaj Рік тому +9

    Their reaction is the following:
    *They get into an internal rage.
    *They twist every story to make you the culprit & them, the victims.
    *They dramatize & exaggerate their lies that they transfix them as their reality
    *They'll destroy or withhold any of your possessions.
    *They'll provoke directly or indirectly constantly, to get your attention or a negative reaction to enforce all their lies.
    *They'll literally place any common friend or acquaintance into the Bush-Syndrome: either with them, or against them.
    *And the list goes on...

  • @CourtneyKennedy-z5k
    @CourtneyKennedy-z5k 11 місяців тому +1

    I am so grateful that you repeatedly note that heart transformation is no problem for an Almighty God. So many people seem to give such hopeless messages about relationships with narcissists and how it’s never going to change. Nothing is impossible with God! That keeps me going! Thank you for your ministry.

  • @grantaugustyniak6667
    @grantaugustyniak6667 Рік тому +41

    If a narc apologizes- MAKE THEM EXPLAIN WHAT THEIR APOLOGIZING FOR - this will tell you if they really mean it or not. I’ve done this & if they can’t answer that question- then they are truly not sorry !!! Most narcs will stumble for an answer or cannot answer that question at all.

    • @67cici
      @67cici Рік тому

      Excellent hope this works

    • @BillRWare
      @BillRWare Рік тому +1

      They ought to be able to explain why without being asked. If I have to ask, then I'm inviting them to tell me what I wanna hear. An absolutely sickening soliloquy to bear witness to, IMHO...

  • @lisawells9905
    @lisawells9905 8 місяців тому +2

    I went no contact with someone a few months ago. She put a note on my door saying that I had told her that I went no contact with her because God told me to. I never said that to her. This was when I realized that she had been easdropping on me and a friend of mine. However she didn't listen to the entire conversation. I asked the person that I was actually talking to if I had said that. He said absolutely not then quoted what I actually said. I had said that I felt that God was leading me in another direction.

  • @robinlewisart_1997
    @robinlewisart_1997 Рік тому +9

    This was so helpful and thank you for that beautiful prayer at the end. Prayer really makes a difference because the confusion and hurt is so painful. The prayer is the calm to it all ❤️

  • @zoeyangelpup
    @zoeyangelpup Місяць тому

    I struggled for such a long time in my family. However, God is great and finally revealed this week that I am the scapegoat in the family scapegoat abuse. Once I understood this, everything changed. I found my inner strength. I am struggling with readjusting to a life without this family I grew up with but I have no regrets. I am just grateful to God for His mercy and grace. I still have a broken heart but I can see the truth and accept it as it is. I choose to turn my back on this family but I also remember they are only the earthly family and not the spiritual family that God has. Thank you.

  • @cynthiajoy2700
    @cynthiajoy2700 Рік тому +18

    Kris, you are a genius. You nailed every aspect of the inner dialogue that a scapegoat/discarded person has with themselves over the Hoovering and eventual relapse into old behaviors that narcissist in our lives perpetrates when we continue to forgive and take them back, over and over again, only to get burnt even worse each time. You nailed on every aspect the actual conversations we have with others who try to guilt us into putting ourselves in harm’s way over and over again. These people don’t want to be the scapegoat themselves so, when things start getting sketchy after we’ve gone, no contact, these people start scrambling in a panic when they need their old scapegoat back! They don’t want to be the next “it” in the narcissist’s game of “Scapegoat Tag”.

    • @lennyluzitano8920
      @lennyluzitano8920 Рік тому +1

      😅yea...nailed...it ...all....

    • @vanessamorey3812
      @vanessamorey3812 Рік тому +1

      Let them rip eachother apart...
      Karma is a patient gangster.
      Scapegoat OUT!! 😊

    • @andragooding-martin4574
      @andragooding-martin4574 Рік тому +3

      Am dealing with one also and boy oh boy it is the worst so am thinking of going no contact

    • @mr.makedonija2627
      @mr.makedonija2627 Рік тому

      ​@@vanessamorey3812lol. I like that !

  • @jesusmyking1935
    @jesusmyking1935 2 місяці тому +1

    KRIS, I AM READY! I KNOW GOD GOT ME NOW! ❤

  • @kemaberry3538
    @kemaberry3538 Рік тому +10

    One thing I've noticed since I am now aware of all the narcissist's in my life is they will NEVER come to you and initiate a conversation if they see you're upset. NEVER. I've not heard any folks on this topic mention this one

    • @deecastillo7133
      @deecastillo7133 Рік тому +1

      Yes! Once they notice its been 3yrs and you've moved on n ur happy WITHOUT them so they pop up out of nowhere n act like "nothing" n try 2 pick up the pieces without an apology or even better blame some1 else.

    • @KatI422-r3m
      @KatI422-r3m 8 місяців тому +1

      ​@deecastillo7133 in hopes you'll have codependent amnesia. No response. No Contact.

    • @NataszkaFarr-ti1by
      @NataszkaFarr-ti1by 8 місяців тому

      True. Never they never come to you to discuss any feelings when they know you're hurt . No issue ever gets resolved. And it's always my fault cause "I'm not being nice etc..." gaslighting . Again actions speak louder than words. Their actions show they do not love you... yet.. I'm married to the guy what to do... ugh

    • @TheRealAderail
      @TheRealAderail 2 місяці тому

      I told my mom I was upset about something, trying to open up to her emotionally more. She ignored what I said and talked about something else entirely. I pointed out I wanted to talk about something serious, and she jokingly said something about how the conversation is always about me.

  • @scottgruchow
    @scottgruchow 11 місяців тому +2

    Dear Kris, I’m so glad I stumbled across your channel. Stumbled was a little sarcasm on my part because I believe it was directed by God. Since I began this journey on researching narcissism I’ve come across many good therapists/ psychologists who have given me a lot of good information. What I like about you is the biblical and Christian influence you use in your podcasts. You’ve been such a blessing to me already after only listening to a handful of programs. I’m not currently seeing a counselor but have come to the conclusion that it is a necessity. My wife and I are in a desperate situation. Since I started this journey I’ve had my eyes opened to the many narcissistic traits she has towards me, mainly the gaslighting. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made many mistakes myself and don’t want to paint myself to be a better person than I really am. I realize the importance now of getting a good councilor, can you help.

  • @mirnacudiczgela1963
    @mirnacudiczgela1963 11 місяців тому +4

    I was accused of being vindictive because I "abandoned my mother while she is old and sick", only to later find out she went to Rome. As far as I know sick people cannot travel.

  • @kaitlyngault3987
    @kaitlyngault3987 8 місяців тому +1

    I AM READY!

  • @pammillington4857
    @pammillington4857 Рік тому +7

    My eldest sister has never apologised for anything because she never believed she is wrong about anything. I am surprised to here that some narcs apologise!

  • @neemast4365
    @neemast4365 8 місяців тому

    Kris, love your teachings. I'm going through it right now....separation from classic covert vulnerable narcissist husband. He's classic. Everything you say is so accurate. I didn't know until a few weeks ago the name for this crazy relationship. I thought narcissists were all grandiose. Thank you for teaching such great information. God is working!! He's my Waymaker!

  • @YvonneMarieElliott
    @YvonneMarieElliott Рік тому +5

    Definitely helpful!
    God is opening my eyes through your teachings, and i think its so bad right now because ive been ignoring the signs that started years ago that i can now clearly pinpoint.
    Thank you!

  • @faithvogan7219
    @faithvogan7219 7 місяців тому +2

    I just got done going through that it was absolutely crazy I felt like I was losing my mind by md us

  • @waterfall844
    @waterfall844 Рік тому +6

    Absolutely 💯 . The worse experience I ever been through. And I am doing no contact. This is exactly how they behave.

    • @bfthompson416
      @bfthompson416 Рік тому

      God bless you. I am just now getting ready to go no contact. It will be rough I know but am now finally listening to God through Kris. He will help me and you!

  • @carolejackson8357
    @carolejackson8357 Рік тому +4

    I recently discovered this channel. So supportive and wise.
    Yes, much easier to manage when we know what to expect. Generally, I've found that holding my boundaries often causes the narc to go away.
    One kept returning months n years later claiming to be a changed person. Nope.
    So I don't care if he walks on water, I'm done. He stopped calling as he likely senses my resolve.

  • @fitandfabatsixty
    @fitandfabatsixty Рік тому +6

    Oh heck yes! Living through this right now, in fact!

  • @aimeehodgin6359
    @aimeehodgin6359 Рік тому +2

    Yes. I have experienced this with my Mother. 3 yrs ago, for 6 months I pulled a No Contact. I explained myself to my Father. He saw my side clearly. For 6 months, I sought counseling, because I thought...there may be a version that I instigated this. I did not. My Mother slays with words & power. It is an ongoing battle...but one that I do not meddle in. I make choices! I have learned not to stoop to cater....but to hold my head up & keep walking & not to jump when she utters a sound. I believe I am doing great at this. Knowing that I can pray through hard times & seek His guidance. & If I do not get anything...I make the choice not to talk to her until I know I have resolution. I do have to have boundaries. I acknowledge them & maneuver through just fine. ✌🏻

  • @lynnwillis4332
    @lynnwillis4332 Рік тому +16

    I recently had coffee with a lady that had been attending a bible study I went to. She seemed very eager to be my friend and wanted a soul connection very quickly. After listening to her story for 20 hours in one weekend and having her oscillate back and forth on how much of her story she wanted to share, I received a text in the following morning in which she obviously resented sharing too much and placed the blame on me for taking too much of her time, I cut the relationship. She had been born into a cult and been raised in it. I could see that she was taking cultish practices and trying to force them into her Christianity. She had a jekyl/hyde sweetness/anger characteristic. Later, I found out that she had tried to isolate me from the other people in the bible study by calling them up with these uncontrollable anger urges and then tell me that they were saying horrible things about me. Too twisted for me! NC all the way!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 11 місяців тому +1

      she sounds bipolar, wolves among the flock, for sure tell the bible study leader about this or she will do it to other pple also.

  • @bonnieromick9397
    @bonnieromick9397 6 місяців тому +2

    No contact has helped me introspect and heal and learn .without more damage. God doesn't change people who don't want a change. He always asks even before a miracle if you want it

    • @bonnieromick9397
      @bonnieromick9397 6 місяців тому

      Your such an anchor for me. I needed the Christ perspective and Bible way to handle these spooky people. So glad to have a loving Father as God

  • @inelisseotero-diaz6117
    @inelisseotero-diaz6117 Рік тому +18

    Thank you Kris! Your ministry is so necessary and has come to my life in the exact moment I needed it. May God keep blessing you and expanding your reach.

  • @sally5256
    @sally5256 10 місяців тому +1

    I love your idea don’t confront toxic with toxic. Speak in a godly way! Thank you! 🙏 ❤

  • @ruthstolz7127
    @ruthstolz7127 Рік тому +3

    I over-explained to everyone, the narcs, the flying monkeys, relatives, neighbors, on and on... I'm getting a little better, today i said rhat we don't see eye to eye and we've decided to spend less time together. I didn't say how much less or I needed to be no contact. I feel so much better being no contact from the toxic people. I have to stay away from them. Thanks for your concise Biblical teaching about this evil.

    • @noranchodalery
      @noranchodalery Рік тому

      “And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.”
      Ruth 3:11

    • @mannalawson432
      @mannalawson432 Рік тому

      I appreciate how honest you are! Also, I chucked a little bit at the “flying monkeys” but I also nodded solemnly, thinking “that’s SO true!” 🙏🏽 blessings!

  • @ellenarnett3527
    @ellenarnett3527 Рік тому +2

    It’s been 5 years and 7 days since we moved out of my Absalom step-son’s house and were delivered out of their hands. He went no contact 4 months later after not hearing from us. Everything you’ve said is spot on. What a relief to hear the same things He has said to me from a Follower of Emmanuel. Thank you. God always shines light into darkness for me. Thank you, Abba.

  • @debbierobertson9221
    @debbierobertson9221 Рік тому +5

    So blessed! So happy your a Christian! I stayed because I am. What a mistake I made. What you are saying is exactly what I have been through!😢

  • @Dalffineydarby
    @Dalffineydarby Рік тому +2

    I have been dealing with this with my dad for 59 years I been alive it’s so hard I’m done with him he locked me out of the house without a eviction notice nothing he wouldn’t let me get y prescriptions nothing he was very cruel he’s moving a 40year old girl he’s 81 he said to me you make
    E sick to my guts gtfo of here I been living with them since 2014 my mom was sick with cancer so I took care of her she passed away that left me there with my sperm donor he just got worse he’s cut my legs out from underneath me no one will help me with anything he even has my family against me I’m talked about he lies so bad about everything . I’m scared alone and don’t know what to ok slept I. My car lastnight I’m lost for words!
    Thank you so y h for having these clips for all of us to watch and learn what we need or should do !
    I Appreciate you , Jodi

  • @robinberry4957
    @robinberry4957 Рік тому +15

    Exactly what’s happening to me! They are INSANE!😂

    • @lyndamilam
      @lyndamilam 14 днів тому

      @@robinberry4957 It's almost like they aren't a real human.

  • @LindaSheaffefSheaffer-bo4vm
    @LindaSheaffefSheaffer-bo4vm Рік тому +7

    I just found you! What a blessing! Thanks for all you do!

  • @cherylroberts765
    @cherylroberts765 2 місяці тому

    AND YES --- I am a believer AND he too is a believer! That’s what blew my mind and STILL blows my mind !!!!!!!
    SO grateful God took me out of this -----
    I couldn’t do it on my own !!!!!!

  • @almohvn33
    @almohvn33 Рік тому +7

    The more I watch on this subject, the more I realize how Satanic it is and the damage it does to such beautiful, giving people.
    I pray for every person right now that is dealing with NC. I am about to enter it.

    • @bfthompson416
      @bfthompson416 Рік тому

      Thank you for your prayers and I am about to enter NC also! Prayer is absolutely necessary and will get us through. God has sent Kris to minister to us!!!

    • @lyndamilam
      @lyndamilam 14 днів тому

      I agree, it does feel demonic.

  • @bfthompson416
    @bfthompson416 Рік тому +2

    Thank you I just went NC yesterday evening. What a relief and such a weight lifted off my spirit! Yes, it is best for both of us! Mine was a good friend of 16 years. God has been trying to remove this person from my life for many years! Finally I have been obedient! Thank you Kris for your ministry and thank God for not giving up on me!

  • @bfthompson416
    @bfthompson416 Рік тому +6

    I am getting ready to go no contact with a toxic friend - have known her for 18 years! Have had numerous times of no contact. But we always end up back together. I do this! I know now that God has been trying to get me to end this relationship - and am finally hearing Him clearly thanks to you, Kim. Ready to make this break!!!!! Have probably been in co-dependent relationship. Thank you for your ministry!!!

    • @bfthompson416
      @bfthompson416 Рік тому +1

      You can do it - I just did it with a friend I have known for 16 years and same things have happened for me. Exact same!!! You will experience such a relief and a weight off your spirit and joy! And I believe your friend will also experience joy. I believe mine is! God bless you!!!

    • @Theresa-ub6xp
      @Theresa-ub6xp Рік тому +1

      Chris I am ready

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 11 місяців тому

      so what happened

  • @colleensteele348
    @colleensteele348 Місяць тому

    Just got out of a narc relationship Positive point is he showed me what was wrong with my family. It’s all coming together for me It was brutal but I have been learning about narcissists and putting up healthy boundaries. Thanks Kris

  • @moonlightstargem1006
    @moonlightstargem1006 Рік тому +5

    Then remember you are always in control of yourself and your situation. And your thoughts and your reality and your emotions.

  • @VeronicasVeil333
    @VeronicasVeil333 2 місяці тому

    Oh gosh………..I’m listening and SO identifying with EVERYTHING!!!! Yes, being blessed by this. By the grace of God I did not defend myself to others and I lost a whole group of people…….(it was church related). And it lasted 20 years……..I am liberated and found another spiritual fellowship - healthier. The 2 persons I disconnected with were passive aggressive. I am so happy to be done……I was so desperate that I did not care what anyone thought and they are still “thinking”……..lol……..I’m moving on.

  • @lonsp.t3568
    @lonsp.t3568 Рік тому +3

    Thank you sooo much for this video Ms Reece. All your webisodes are extremely helpful to me. I really pray to be delivered and healed very soon in JESUS' NAME 🙌🏽🙏🏼

  • @sanctity65
    @sanctity65 4 місяці тому

    I am ready from South Africa. I expect backlash from other toxic people. Thankyou for your brilliant teaching! It has been a good eye opener!

  • @jackiejackson1854
    @jackiejackson1854 Рік тому +10

    I'm so blessed by this video. Its timely and on point 🙏

  • @kamilapatynska-mrozek8867
    @kamilapatynska-mrozek8867 10 місяців тому +1

    Dzięki temu kanałowi i komentarzą innych ludzi czuje że nie jestem sama❤
    Życzę wszystkim odnalezienia spokoju ❤

  • @meganthomas4524
    @meganthomas4524 Рік тому +4

    My situation was a little different, my narcissist accused me and a few others of talking Ill about her behind her back from “reliable” sources. When I heard of this (because they did not approach anyone just stopped taking to us) I truly could not believe that it was being said because it was not true. Because I stood up for myself and would not apologize for something I did not do, the narcissist cut us off.

  • @freetobememe4358
    @freetobememe4358 Рік тому +2

    I just had revelation, worrying about what someone thinks is pride. Ouch

  • @erintighe8795
    @erintighe8795 Рік тому +9

    I am so connecting with this series! So timely during the holidays!

    • @67cici
      @67cici Рік тому

      Me too long after holidays still stuck to Kris video and wisdom

  • @kombuchababy6542
    @kombuchababy6542 Рік тому +4

    When I said I wanted to go no contact my narc started text love bombing me (this happens every time) about what a difference I've made in their life and how I will always be precious to them. I wrote back, "What a sweet thing to say."😊
    I think they recognized that I'm no longer falling for it.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 11 місяців тому +1

      why did you even write anything back? DONT REPLY to him! BLOCK him from your phone and DONT see anyone who knows him.

    • @kombuchababy6542
      @kombuchababy6542 11 місяців тому

      @@Lauren-vd4qe That's exactly what I did 9 years ago. Not sorry at all. Life is way better!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 11 місяців тому

      totally! been there done that!! @@kombuchababy6542

  • @petuniagranny2758
    @petuniagranny2758 Рік тому +5

    My husband and I set our boundaries, and the narcissist set out to create a smear campaign on social media. First she stalked our friends lists on facebook, and then when we went no contact she started the campaign. We never fought back, and after time she stopped. It was crazy. She is my step daughter, who is in her 50s. My husband actually said no more, and enough is enough. It was a difficult situation, but as far as I am concerned, it was abusive for her to do what she did.

  • @deniseware1802
    @deniseware1802 11 місяців тому

    Have definitely experienced them smearing me by malicious lies. It's so frustrating to watch them then play the victim. These lectures are spot on and are so appreciated. My mom and her friend are so toxic and have blamed me for the misery in their own lives. They've been horribly hurtful the last 12 years. I've forgiven them both. I'm glad that these lectures are confirming what I've seen with them all these years. They always put it on me and try to make me feel like I'm a horrible person. Thankful that God sees the heart!

  • @BrigitteWakolbinger-nh1gn
    @BrigitteWakolbinger-nh1gn Рік тому +6

    Greetings from Austria! Thank you so much for the biblical help + introduction. For your understanding and wisdom AND for your prayer ❤ Brigitte

    • @bravescarycat9430
      @bravescarycat9430 Рік тому

      GrüB Gott, from Belgium. I’ve been to your lovely country many times 🙂 I am so grateful for this channel. Helps me a lot. All the best, Marijke

  • @themadgaminggentleman6981
    @themadgaminggentleman6981 10 днів тому

    Hour one of no contact and I'm ready to turn my life around. I am a single morher and am ready to love myself more then what I thought he could. When he is around people he treats me like dirt when he is alone its a different story. I wish I had seen the signs earlier that he is just a player at 49 years of age that he doesn't want love or to love a women. I understand now that it was just abother notch on his belt when I truly loved orayed and cared for him. I will go no contact from now on and seek God and see how fast my pain and rejection disappear. Thank you for this and all your videos. And who ever else is going through this I pray for you.

  • @hello122ful
    @hello122ful Рік тому +7

    Amen!! Thank you for that prayer! It was just what I needed!!

  • @kayjohnson5524
    @kayjohnson5524 5 місяців тому

    When I walked away from my daughter’s, my Pastor told me I did the right thing. I have a Therapist. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD. I will heal & get past all of it.

  • @christinewindsor-cox5583
    @christinewindsor-cox5583 6 місяців тому +4

    My narc christian husband has been sitting away from me in Church for a few months now. It has been drawing a lot of attention as well as queries. I DON'T CARE. I attend services as normal. UNASHAMED, UNMOVED!!!!! There's no new moves: he's said and done it all.

  • @anahinson6955
    @anahinson6955 11 місяців тому +1

    I’m ready

  • @staceytilley8417
    @staceytilley8417 Рік тому +9

    So, I’m only 10 minutes in, and it’s like you are narrating a situation that my husband and I dealt with. If only I had known about this 15 years ago. This couple was basically using our Christianity against us and holding us hostage. They did all of the things you said, until it became almost stalker-like and creepy. I finally had to cut off all contact which was difficult because neither I nor my husband are confrontational people and had helped this family and cared for them so much. We had witnessed to them and invited them to church. Some of the people at our church thought we weren’t doing the right thing. They thought that forgiving means remaining close friends with someone. Two years after cutting off contact, they apologized to us which was so shocking to us! I told them that I had forgiven them before they had even asked because that’s what God requires if us. I told them that I just couldn’t trust them anymore, so we just wouldn’t be close friends anymore. They understand, and we remained friendly and cordial, and they have finally moved away. Thank you for this video. It’s good to know that we handled it right (even though we should have cut contact sooner). I also did keep from going around trying to defend myself at church when she tried to turn people against us. There were times I wondered if that was right or not because I sort of withdrew a bit from certain social situations for about 2 years.

  • @kross6478
    @kross6478 3 місяці тому

    I just found this channel. One of your videos was sent to me from a trusted loving family member after I had been praying for guidance. Your videos described my sister and mother to a T. I have gone down a rabbit hole just watching so many of your videos in the last 24 hours. I received clarity and validity that me blocking them was the right thing to do. They have absolutely drained me through the years. But I am currently grieving the loss of a beloved family member who is physically no longer here as well as the no contact with them. They really left me no choice. This is one of the hardest times in my life and I'm trying to get back to some sense of normalcy. My sister is currently on tour with a smear campaign. I'm prepared for it. My husband and children know the real me and if they are all that I have, then I can live with that. But the killing part is that God has really placed so many sisters and mother figures in my life, that I really don't have to miss them. And she knows nothing about them and can't get to them. I'll continue to pray and I'll get through this. But thank you so much for these videos. You have a new subscriber. ❤

  • @TheMostHighJesusChristInc.
    @TheMostHighJesusChristInc. Рік тому +4

    Excellent content!! God Bless You!!

  • @GloriaMiller-kc8rh
    @GloriaMiller-kc8rh Рік тому +2

    I am really learning from your program thank you

  • @CamperVan-K
    @CamperVan-K Рік тому +3

    yes, I'm going through this scenario just now. It's so sad. The thing is, what I don't understand is why don't these people who have been told about you, have 'a word' with you? Why don't they ask you if this is true? Why is it you - the one who is being smeared - is in the dark? It's horrid, because you don't have any defence.

  • @almohvn33
    @almohvn33 Рік тому +2

    Everything you say is spot on. I have been non stop watching, since I am dealing with this. Thank you.