Steven Seagal Movie Out For A Kill Is So Lazy He Fights Sitting Down - Worst Movie Ever
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- Опубліковано 2 жов 2024
- The Steven Seagal movie Out For A Kill is the worst movie ever made in every possible way. The plot makes no sense, the action scenes are lazy, and Seagal is, well he's Seagal. I am a worse person for having seen the movie. Please tell my family that I loved them
#stevenseagal #badmovies #badmoviereview #worstmovies #movierecap
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I love how all your reviews of Steven Seagal movies are titled "Worst movie ever". Cause literally each one of them is. Bro I have a question for you, does Steven even have any REAL fans at this point? Or does everyone just watch his movies to laugh at him?
@@H2Raby I've watched more Seagal since yesterday watching this guy's videos in the last 2 days than in the previous 38 years I've been alive
@@PaulieD1984 that's because these videos are the greatest thing that ever happened to Seagal, and he's probably salty they exist.
Do you think this is the dumbest Seagal movie?....i think so
Seagal taking a date to his wife’s funeral is the most accurate portrayal of himself I’ve seen him offer to the audience
The only thing I could think of more segal would be for him to open up the coffin and his wife miraculously walk out alive....because segal never loses anything!
She wouldn’t cause he wants to lose her…
I saw this a mile away, confirmed my suspicions when the DEA dude was killed but not her
The Guy married a japanese chick, took all her money and went to America without divorce, married another chick, then came back to japan to hit on another more famous chick.
this movie is tame compared to that
At least they were respectful and wore dark colors to the funeral.
Such class...
"They call me Crash because I never have."
It's almost as believable as someone saying "They call me Pants-shitter because I never have."
''They call me racist cause ive never been''
@@flowsy5294 "They call me racist because I love to race."
"They call me Crackhead, because I've never smoked it."........bruh I see what u mean 😆 🤣 😂.....fkn Seagal.
This is better than anything I read today lmao!
I’m dead🤣🤣🤣, my name must be , Not dead
As a Yale professor I can confirm we are constantly ambushed by kungfu monks sent by Harvard.
Lol
Want me to call my Georgia Bulldogs have them tell Haaavaad to leave you alone? Prices are still the same, your lunch money and you gotta do the teams biolabs for them.
Name DOESN’T check out.
Do they have crimson cloaks?
Sounds like a yell problem
The last time I flew, they showed a Steven Seagal movie on the plane. Half the audience walked out.
@@bartoszkupper9551 damn bro, you almost got the joke
😆😆😆😆😆😆
In mid air that is how bad his acting is!
💀💀💀💀💀
WHAHAHAHA
With his back against the wall and no other options, Seagal does the most insane maneuver of just slightly turning left and completely loses them. 😂
😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣
Lmao 🤣
😂
Hahaha!! I was crying!!
I know bro, I sent it to my friends 😆🤣😂
Pilot: “They call me Crash because I never have.”
Seagal: “They call me actor because I can’t.”
Underrated
That has to be the dumbest line…I think 99% of the pilots out there probably also share that nickname
😂
This comment made my day 🤣
Totally underrated 😂😂😂
I feel Seagal genuinely thinks this is his life
No doubt about it. He's totally delusional.
I’m wondering what him think: “this is gonna be a really badass movie!” Smh. Seems like one of the worst movies ever made. It’s so bad.
What do you mean? You do know that segal's "movies" are autobiographies right? he's the real deal
It's what I'd expect from guy who claims to have studied under Morihei Ueshiba....two year after he died(Ueshiba passed away in -69, while Seagal moved to Japan in -71). And that he was friends with Bruce Lee(Who as far as I know in seventies lived in Hong Kong, not Japan). And that he was CIA's advisor in Vietnam(Because apparently CIA, after intefering Vietnam's internal affairs since before Seagal was born, decided that best way to get new perspective to their operation was to bring in some egomaniac in his 20's).
@@hawk66100
I think his movies are a money laundering scheme, stroking his own ego is a bonus.
“I’ve seen him fight aliens, I’ve seen him fight vampires”
-Shows him fighting women and children LMAO 😂
He just trying to give him a nice haircut!
Aaaaand..... Apparently he sucks at it!
That scene of him stabbing the kid is a real scene from one of his movies which brings up the question, why would he add that to his movie? 😂😂 you know that had to 100% be his idea
@DescendingVelocity It was a horror movie, or at least his attempt at one. Probably thought killing a child would add to the scariness.
....he's not entirely wrong, at least with the vampire part.
😂😂😂
you're singlehandedly keeping Seagal relevant in a way he can't himself.
segal is the better nicholas cage
@@philliam111 Nowhere close, wash that mouth.
@@philliam111 no way.. bad lieutenant 2 was 🔥
@@philliam111 Nicholas cage is not that good at acting but it's still not as dry as Stevens. Stevens acting has the least amount of personality at %0
@@BaawBee I'd say that at least Cage looks and feels like he's having a good time. Like, even at his worst, most camp moments, Cage still feels like he's in on the joke and having fun with it. Seagal just feels...sad. Like a washed-up action movie star that never got over their ego and just insists that they can keep making the same films over and over, believing people will enjoy them without taking time to dissect how bad they actually are.
He totally forgot about the guy in jail.
😅
Steven Seagal doesn't care about black people
Nigga in chinnese Jail in Bulgaria. Dang it, I lost my shit
😅
cuz of all the g4y sh1t they did in there 😅
I like that they were so cheap that they couldn’t afford to break the coffee mug.😂
Lmaooooo ikr?
Or it was supposed to break but Seagal is so half-assed he said ***k it, next scene!
@@maxpower2631 They run out of coffee
@@fernandogimenez7520 Propadlly Steven drank all of it.
They cant even afford to film on a suburb park and just use green screen instead
It gets funnier everytime he mentions seagal being a Yale professor 😂😂
I'm literally cracking up too 😅😅😅😂😂
Probably top three most unbelievable things in his movies. Beats out the bomb in the chick's boobies and the hooker getting beaten to death with a baby doll. 🤣
I love how the mug doesn't break when it falls to the floor. It's like it refused to take the movie seriously.
Legend has it that it took 43 takes for the drink itself to finally spill.
😂☠️💀💀💀
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
They botched the mug shot so much they stopped using ceramic
naah seagall uses 1 take at most
Seagal: I trained with the founder of archeology for 10 years.
Nah he trained mother earth how fossilise dead animals then..
This comment will never get the true recognition it deserves.
Also Seagal:then I made it a lot more cinematic
: I taught him how to use those little brushes…I invented em
I been flying planes for like 80 years
Never forget that Steven Seagal takes himself 110% seriously
Never forget that Steven Seagal supports an oppressive and genocidal regime, and went around in Ukraine spreading Russian propaganda.
Super serial.!
He is like a reverse Chuck Norris
@@critzathis is the perfect way to describe it😂
My brother also takes him 200% seriously. Literally hero worship him. Fuckin crazy.
I can picture Steven Segal rolling around in a computer chair fighting throughout the entire movie 😂
The only time he can do a spin kick is in a rotating chair
That scene of the mug falling and NOT breaking was actual comedic genius
I was looking for this exact comment. 😅
That mug tough as shit. Figured seagal would take out 50 dudes with it
Is that part of the movie?
when your movie's budget so low that you can't even afford to break a mug for it
Plot twist: Most of the budget of the movie went to that rock-solid mug
Steven Seagal is a 7th degree master of Kukido. Kukido is the martial art that enables you to fight a opponent, while discreetly checking his pockets for cookie dough. KUKIDO! Ha ha, yippeeeeeeee!
Yo, 😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂 holy shit that’s hilarious, well done and thanks for the laugh.
haha summabitch you got me🤣🤣
😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣
xddd
Pilot called "crash" because he never has......, seagal called "Actor" 😂 because he can't.
call Seagal 'consensual mutually agreed upon sexual contact' ..because he never has 🤣
He's a better actor than you hater.
@@ryandixon7604 how much did his mob associates pay you?
You just blew my mind with that play on words.
Love watching these movies 😂
They call me a tax evader, because I never have.
Prob. true if Yoshi says it 😆
His lack of self awareness kills me. He doesn't realize everyone is laughing at him
Ego is a he'll of a drug, and you can feed it when you're the one making the movie! Ever notice how all of his movies have someone else telling him how awesome he is?
He avoids any info or situation that would make it clear to him that everyone knows he is full of bs.
Like the R allegations, he lies for a whole interview but if someone asks about something real like that he just splits, while you'd think that it would be simpler to just lie about it(like he does 24/7) but the whole thing reminds him too much that people know he is full of bs
Not everyone..only his haters🤮you including🤡
Seagsl and Trump are almost identical that way
@@Nklecz1980 tRuMp MuR nUr NuR
Steven is literally the embodiment of a South Park character
Steven sa-boom-boom
Yep. His.
He definitely is Eric Cartman
"In my safe space..."
@@wilfredoUbatuba Eric Cartmen actually achieved, and did shit that's inhuman. Unlike Steven... so fuck you.
Steven isn't Eric, Eric is a new form of being... a redditor, discord, and twitch moderator
Taking a date to your wife’s funeral is a total boss move.
its a sigma move.
🤣😁
Haha
Alpha male
Seagal: wife's dead.. what you expect me to do?
It always looks like they let him act in whatever outfit he showed up wearing that day 😂
He deserves a degree with honours in archaeology for repeatedly trying to dig up his career...
LOL. You win the comment section on this video.
Along with a PHD for how long he’s managed to keep it on life support in the meantime.
@metae.4256 cheers mate. From Australia 🇦🇺
Ha ha ha ha........the best one-liner I've heard in a long time.
" trying" may be a bit of a reach😂
That line about inviting the female cop as a date to his wife's funeral was hilarious 😂
🤣🤣
😂😂
Oh wtf lol
I CANT STOP LAUGH MAAAN THIS IS BEST YET. IN ANY OF HIS MOVIE THIS IS NUMBER 1
It’s not even a clever line. It’s just what happened. Does Seagal actually think that’s how humans behave or did he just forget about what was going on in the film’s story through lack of caring?
"They call me Crash, because I never have." Probably the best, and worst, line in the movie, 😆!
I'd say most living pilots can say that lol
Wait a minute, the godamn hong kong cop is in the backseat of the airplane! 5:06
That's actually hard bro.
Ngl
I like it
They call me Die, because I never have.
@@rud5101 kinda like seagal being called slim... because he never is. .
"They call me Crash because I never have." Still lives rent free in my head to this day 😂
"Lives rent free in my head"
Is about as original and creative as a Steven Seagal movie.
@@TheBenjammin Oh no, my feelings.
Does the classy move and brings his new gf to his wife's funeral had me dying. 🤣
I’ve actually have done this
Then again I could might be an illusion
And wore the same jeans and sneakers from his international killing spree. My god, man…..at least he had a suit on in Hard to Kill.
@@deadhorse1391 You must be a pos like segal
@@MistaCUNextTuesday yeah OK 😃
"They call me Crash because I never have"
He says that like it's normal for every pilot to have crashed at least once in their career
didnt even think of that lol
Was looking for this comment 😆
yeah, once is enough to end your flying career!!!
Right, like someone saying that to me right before we took off would have me needing new pants
You're not a real pilot until you've totaled your first A320
A recurring theme in Seagal's movies is that he's always the hero, but he's always more brutal than the actual villains
Also nobody gonna talk about how he killed the first monk with only bamboo sticks?
So true
In every movie, he Kills at least 5 random supposedly innocent people for basically some stupid shit that one can easily walk away from in real life
Seagal movie casting calls are just whoever drives thru Burger King that day.
What's hilarious is that these videos almost definitely have more views than the actual movies.
Not gonna lie his jokes are great and better than the movie
The American State/Uncle Sam should start recruiting Ivy League Professors in the Armed Forces instead of the general populace so that they can start winning wars 😂🤣😁👍.
Ibrahim Syal
@@ibrahimsyal thanks?
I think his movies are money laundering
His joke in this and uwe boll videos are hillarious
"They call me Crash, because I never have."
Apparently Stegal's writers think the vast majority of pilots have been in at least one plane crash, maybe more.
Everyone just calls me John, because i crash my planes on the regular
Segal; “Hi Crash, my name is Coitus.” 👍🏻👌🏻
Bold you to assume there's ever a writer in all of his movies
Which technically should make all pilots dead and piloting a non existent proffession.
I’m surprised he’s allowed to keep his license with such a poor crashing record.
Haven't laughed so much in a long time, thanks man. Seagal has truly mastered the art of bullshido.
I needed this also
bullshido :D :D
bullshitdo
*Bullshito
Chinese and American Cop investigating in Bulgaria... The amazing mind of Seagal.. 🤦♂️🤣🤦♂️
Steven Seagal is the only man in the world that can hallucinate without drugs...
Who said he was ever clean of drugs? 🤣
Frank Dux is the king of it, actually.
LOL
I think he is high asf when he writes his stories.
Don't forget Frank dux. Lol just another delusional master
I love the “Call me Crash cause I never have” line. Not just for how stupid it is, but also because it implies that being a pilot that hasn’t crashed is a really rare occurrence
It's like saying, "They call me DUI, because I never have"
This is -90 IQ writing and I love it
@@sethlangston181hahahahaha
"Call me Dead, because I haven't died."
Oh yeah 😂
You know you've reached the highest level of martial arts when you don't need to stand anymore while fighting an opponent
There are some styles like that but Segal is not a master of them
It's called the Lay Zee Do
@@stevanusg1343 no. It's the Seat Kune Do
@@E1N9A8N0DA ROFL
@@stevanusg1343 🤣🤣🤣
Seagal may have had a little too much of Walter White's glass sugar when he decided to write that Crash line.
He’s just living out all his child good fantasies
lol exactly!
yeah, there is only 2reason why he makes these movies: money and ego 🤔😆
More like his teenage murder fantasies!🤣
*childhood
@@ankurnaskar2469 tell that to the other 600 people
I think the sit down fight was meant to look badass and like a Jackie Chan fight scene (he has fallen back into chairs and continued fighting a few times) but it ended looking… well, like a Seagal fight.
Or perhaps the end fight in Kill Bill vol 2
@@Ihad9eyes Oh, that's a great example. Wish I'd have thought of that.
Haha yeah I can imagine Seagal was going for something like that, but it just looks like he was too lazy to stand up 😂 (which probably was also the case)
@@HUNKunit this is literally it. Seagal's got a reputation for being extra lazy, not wanting to move a lot and shit. There's this movie where he's supposed to be a spec ops guy and he can't even be asked to hold the gun straight. it's just flopping around lol.
which is a slapfest. No real killing intent in any of the moves. Frankly, we know the bad guys have guns and set him up in that barbershop. Why not have them all walk in and shoot him? Oh yeah, Steven Seagal wrote this, so he has to look good in his own fiction.
he actually had a fight scene where he was sitting down LOL
That's beyond lazy lol!
This is not the first time and it won't be the last.
"Steven. Steven! We're doing the fight scene now. Can you get up?"
"No."
".. okay we're working around this again."
At least he hasn’t shot a fight scene entirely on his back yet, right?
@@yunehversomi1458 has he?
I love how when he walks, he walks he waddles, and when he runs, his arms flop around. So cool.
Steven Seagal impaling a child caught me off guard and really made me chuckle.
I was like o shit on those vampires
And he was serious too 😂
Like Putin, thats why he is his lover
Seagel was blessed to go on a murder rampage. lol
it was a vampire first then kid
The scary part is that this character actually represents who Seagal really is and how he sees himself.
He is delusional.
No it’s not
Hes fckin R-worded
He’s crazy
He's legit mentally ill
You forgot to mention that Seagal was born at a very young age, which makes all his accomplishments even greater.
@@bollockjohnson6156 It's a meme..
@@bollockjohnson6156 jesus forgot to install ur brain....STILL better than YALE PROFESSOR.
@@bollockjohnson6156 well someone didn't get the joke obviously 🤣
@@bollockjohnson6156 whoosh straight over your head ...what a moron 😂😂😂😂
@@bollockjohnson6156 Stop it Seagal we know its you lol
I love how Kane is talking and the movie just fades out on him like, "yeah nobody cares."
If your pilot isn't nicknamed "Crash" tell them you want a new fu**ing pilot
😂😂
They call me crash as I banged a bandicoot in college......and do to this very day
Deymmmmm hehe
that line stuck with me. Lol! isn't it normal to be a pilot who hasn't crashed?
So the reason the monks attacks Steven seagal in the movie is because it was an actual attack monks are tired of him using their culture and likeness to sell s***** movies
I almost pissed my pants at Seagal bringing his new date to his wife's funeral.
I can’t stop laughing
What's even more strange is that his dead wife's family had no problem with him bringing another woman to the funeral.
@@inlikeflynn7238 because he is a Yale's professor. They have a pass.
That's not good you should probably see a urologist...
@@gurnblanstein9816 and you should never try to be funny again.
I haven’t laughed out loud for a solid ten minutes in a long time.
“He then ties him up… and sends him to safety”😂
Swamp trash ..dont ever question Grand Master Segal..he knows All !!
"And he got lost" 😂😂
Same, almost make me want to watch the movie for the laugh
I'm dying laughing 😂 😂 😂 😂
Me too. I was laughing so hard wtf! My neighboors child woke up by the laughs 😆. Subscribed. This was funny AF.
"As dumb as that is, it's still not as dumb as Seagal being a Yale professor. I just cannot get over that."
🤣🤣🤣🤣
"They call me Crash because I never have." has to be nominated as one of the greatest movie quotes of all time.
Crash looks and talks a little like Biden 😂😂
It's so amazing because that logic can apply to literally anything. "They call me successful because I never have." Not even to mention it's completely grammatically incorrect. Classic Seagal writing quality
he will crash every motherfucker birthday
It’s so bad but that’s what makes it so good lmao
@@liamphillips4370 Yeah, it would apply to probably a vast majority of people who decide to fly a plane. I feel like this is a missed clue in the movie on how Seagal was able to pick up on the fact that he had something to do with his wife's death or whatever. As a Yale professor, he probably immediately knew something was up with a name as dumb as that. It's like meeting a drug dealer named OD cause he never did and you'd immediately get your suspicion radar going if something happened like your house burnt down suddenly. And even dumber the guy lets you in on lessons as a pilot knowing that he had a major role in his wife's death. Seagal probably thought, as a Yale professor, nobody can be that dumb.
Being able to sit through all of Segals movies to find the worst one takes true courage, you are my hero
It's masochism; I'm worried for him
They're not all bad. Executive Decision was pretty good, but that's only because he died near the beginning.
@@Pirelli913 Under Siege was good too. I remember a girl I had a crush on had a crush on him.
@@IrishCarney don't lie, you had the crush on him
@@smithereenss5840 lol no, but whenever he pops up in my recommendations etc he reminds me of her and she was a scorcher
I love how he just walks into a police standoff, shoots the two suspects as a federal agent gets shot too, then just casually keeps walking down the street like's picking up a lotto and pack of smokes
"They call me Crash because I never have". Must be a common nickname among pilots.
Steven Seagal isn't fighting sitting down. The world stood up for him.
Indeed we are all above him, even if he's a millionaire I don't care lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👍🏽
This comment wins 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
If Seagal stood, we'd have to kneel. He's merely doing us a service.
In his next movie there is a fight scene where he has a fight with 3 guys while taking a BIGGGG DUMP !!!!
Seagal being a yale professor is like Seagal being an actual martial artist.
Apparently, he's a legit black belt in hapkido (I think that's the one). But hapkido is pretty useless, unless you're specifically trying to disarm a sword-wielding opponent with your bare hands. It's a bad fighting style because it's not a fighting style. It's an anti-fighting style. Or so I've heard.
Probably paid somebody off to give him his black belt title. 😂
@@noncomplier5385 If you look at his old training videos, he does look pretty legit. It's just that Hapkido...doesn't look very cool, even when it's legit. And it's so specialized that it doesn't give you any actual combat skills outside of disarming a katana wielder. Most other martial arts, even when they focus more on the art part, still have an element of teaching you how to fight. Hapkido is gonna look pretty silly no matter how legit you are.
@@ShadeSlayer1911 I would even doubt that Hapkido can disarm a katana wielder. Yes its the claim of Hapkido to be able to do that. And in demonstrations which are absolutely not a real-life katana-attack-scenario : yes , the student gives his wood-Katana to the master by the flow of Hapkido-movements. It still lacks the real-life-prove. I go even further than that. I highly doubt that a Hapkido-Master (regardless how much Dan etc he have) can disarm me, when i (as someone with no experiece in any martial arts at all) attack with a sharp Katana.
Hapkido seems for me like a fight-choreography in movies , like Star Wars etc ... they also train first the "light-saber-movements" slowly ..."what the opponent will do at this and that move..what looks fency and what not" ... and then in the training the choreography gets more and more speed up... until it reaches the speed for a camera-take, and then they film it.
Same with Hapkido. A specific order of well known attack moves from the Katana-attacker is choreographed...and the student is doing his defending/disarming faster and faster... until it looks like the most highest master-move (and then he gets his black belts, and Dans).
My claim is testable. Put a red marker on the top of a wooden Katana. And wetpaint the wood-Katana in red paint, and give it to the most inexperienced guy from the street who doesnt which move order he should do with that Katana-attack... then we let him attack a Hapkido-Master dressed in pure white clothes. After the "disarming" (if its even possible) we count all red marks on the white clothes of that Hapkido-Master. If he has even one red mark on his body, we can safely say: Hapkido is BS and i was right. If he doesnt have one single red mark on his clothes, all i wrote here is BS . Easy as that.
@@PygmalionFaciebat all good points.
I'm struggling to believe there wasn't a better option than green screening two actors looking at the sky...
What would you expect them to do? Go outside????
Maybe it was overcast that day and the budget was tight so they couldn't wait for a sunny day?
and the choice of the video that was overlaid on the green screen. so realistic...
@Ian Valmont its Seagal movie, he literally took money laundering as actual put them in washing machine
Yep, a real sky is a very hard thing to find 😂
The wifes funeral part made my brain stop braining 🤣🤣🤣🤣
As a Bulgarian I can assure you that this film is a documentary. Seagal is fighting flying ninjas here every night.
😂😂
I find it very accommodating that you let the Chinese and Americans hammer out their differences in your country without interference.
🤣🤣🤣
The American State/Uncle Sam should start recruiting Ivy League Professors in the Armed Forces instead of the general populace so that they can start winning wars 😂🤣😁👍.
Ibrahim Syal
@@ibrahimsyal shhhhh! Are you trying to get yourself killed?
The “insane maneuver of slightly turning left” had me shook.
Maybe the bad guys never learned the ancient martial arts technique of 'slightly turning left'.
they did the same maneuver in starwars
Well...he can run in Nascar with that skill
Sounds like Star Trek's "evasive maneuvers".
I also love the fact they were driving in open terrain and he still lost his tail 😂
Bringing his squeeze to his wife's funeral was the cherry on top of a ridiculous movie and a hilarious review.
He was just going with "the male protagonist always gets the chick" Hollywood trope,
he had no idea how inappropriate that was to write that in there due to Seagal's lack of common sense and creepy thirst for chicks.
That was such a gangsta move. I remember watching this movie with my boys. We couldn’t stop laughing. Dude barely registered his wife’s death. And the fact that he wears a leather sister in the desert. In China. And that the DEA somehow has jurisdiction in other countries and just let him go on a killing spree…yo this is comedy gold.
He's such a bizarre loser of a man. He doesn't even understand basic emotions. Can't even discern what is appropriate. I'd say he's almost autistic but I fear that would be an insult to those people. I just dk how to explain it.
😆
This video is the longest Steven Seagal movie I've ever gotten through.
Your editing and commentary has ironically made this movie worth watching...for eleven and a half minutes.
Legend has it Seagal actually graduated from Yale with an Archeology degree just to play this role.
And the countless years of teaching to become a professor, the dedication is impeccable
I wouldn't put it past him. I heard he had a show where he was sworn in as a real sheriff.
Seagal was ahead of his class when he studies method acting
"Legend" is actually Seagal telling everyone and their mom that he actually had a Master's in Archeology for like 50 years and was the real inspiration for Indiana Jones
@@walmorcarvalho2512 “Legend has that Steven Seagal” memes are like a warped reflection of Chuck Norris memes
“After asking him a question, Seagal does the most Seagal thing possible and chokes him out so he can’t answer.” 😂
😆
🤣
I grew up thinking this guy could literally kill anyone at any time. I remember thinking he could kill Mike Tyson because Mikey didn’t know the secret shit segal did.
Mikey knew even a more secret shit tho.. 🤣
How does that feel in retrospect?
Yeah. I believed in Santa Claus too.
Yeah lol, and the fact his movies were being aired a lot in our local tv did make a lot of kids back then thought this guy was a total badass...
When you think, that mike made it to fight the sensei, and somehow even managed to win..
Actually bringing your new girlfriend to your wife's funeral, was probably the most realistic part in this whole movie😆
As one box closes, another one opens.
@@ant270 box
It made me think of the Lethal Weapon 5 movie on Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Yet somehow, in some way, that skit was more believable than this movie
Its not cheating if she cant objects your new affair
its like slapping your wife in her funeral
😂 “when there’s an explosion and he’s attacked by two monks….why either of these things happened is never explained” had me rolling.
😂 he just had to do that for a different movie he was filming two movies that’s why he took care of the monks
This is, hands down, the most hilarious thing I’ve ever seen. The car chase was the best, lmfao
🫵🏾😆
Asain sipderman
I best one is in Ed Wood's "Plan 9 from Outer Space" where stock footage is used. The chase alternated between night and day and at the destination, it was a different car! If you haven't watched it watch Ed Wood and then Plan 9 from Outer Space. It's so bad it's good.
The fade to black mid sentence has me dying
Now I want an Indiana Jones knockoff done by Seagal.
Lol!!🤣
It’ll be called “seagals
In indiana” and will be a twist on raiders of the lost arc with a bit of e.t.
The plot of the movie would be seagal trying to find the arc (woman who was kidnapped) and has to fight humans who are secretly aliens trying to use the girl for breeding
Spielberg: Well well, Steven Seagal! What chu doin in OUR neck of the woods?
😑I think you're in my woods.
Lucas: Don't say anything just do---wait what'd you---
🤜💥
LoL
The lost tapes 😭🤣🤣
“I’ve seen him fight aliens”… shows him fighting a woman.
“I’ve seen him fight vampires”… shows him fighting a child.
Well played Mr. Seagal, well played.
Someone threat me once said his hand had slapped so many women and children. That was scary.
@@patrickh619 LOL
🤣🤣
@@patrickh619
Who is he?
An elementary headmaster?
🤣😆💀 hes above the law
I’m surprised Seagal wasn’t holding a hamburger in one hand while fighting sitting down.😂
To be fair, a complete fight while sitting down is a neat idea. Sadly it's in this movie.
@HappyBeezerStudios - by Lord_Mogul ... with the knockout blow delivered by a pizza slice to the gullet.
Now don't be silly...
He is more of a wrap guy
@@jariz26 True, he is watching his figure.😂
dont give him any ideas now
7:25
dude going full weeb mode about the curse of darkness and whatnot.
Seagull ignoring all that like a gigachad, 'now i have you' 😅😅😂
I can't believe he brought a date to his wife's funeral. That's horrible! Almost 90% of the people he beat up and killed in this movie are completely innocent of whatever he did. Plus him being a Yale professor, I mean wouldn't they fire him for not coming to work?
You don't know how professorship works do you ?
@@classicgameplay10 yes it has some strict requirements at Yale. They require that you go on an international crime spree with the DEA and Hong Kong police. They also require that you have a questionable past involving smuggling things. It’s also totally understandable that your house got blown up and wife died and you bring this hot date to her funeral.
Hello students, I'm your substitute teacher for this semester since your profesor Seagal is on killing spree in attempt to avenge his dead wife.
@@samueldubik4418 everyone is all like yeah that happened to professor Smith last semester. It was sad he went on a international murder spree after staying in a Chinese prison for a couple of weeks.
@@classicgameplay10 Lol is tenure somehow a license to kill here?
"They call me Crash, because I never have."
Is somehow the coolest and stupidest line ever written.
It’s what your brain does when it tries to process the logic in that saying.
They try to make it sounds like the guy is unique but I think like 99% of all pilots haven't crashed 😅.
That's GOTTA be written by Seagull himself,, I mean what's next, "They call me Dropout because I finished school?"
Logically, once he crashes he's immediately dubbed Ace.
In a movie that has terrible green screens, Crouching tiger, Hidden Dragon fight mechanics, and the antagonist being decapitated by a katana thrown out of a window, Seagal being a professor of archeology at Yale is the craziest sh*t ever
I'm Indiana Jones. They call me that because I've never been to Indiana.
he throws the sword out with it flipping vertically but then somehow it horizontally chops the dudes head off lol
Correction: in this movie he actually used the deadly Couching Tiger.
You forgot to mention that he brought a date to his wife's funeral and the most epic quote of all time "They call me crash because I never had one"
@@bartoszkupper9551 This could be his greatest movie ever.
And he was paid for this ??? Let that sink in.
Yeh,actually who funds these movies and what do they get out of it? I doubt they make enough money to cover expenses so being at a constant loss makes no sense.
The beauty of any Steven Seagal movie is the fact that it doesn't matter if you watch it from the beginning to the end or start watching from halfway it will still make equal sense to the viewer . You could randomly start watching from any point in the movie and youd still get as much as someone who watches it from the beginning .
lmao
Because there is no sense at all anywhere in those movies....
@@j.calvert3361 Yes , your comment basically sums it all up
I think that you get better content if you don't watch it at all.
You could take random clips of random Seagal movies, just hit them together and call it a movie.
"Steven, your last movie was one of the worst films ever made."
"One of? ONE OF? Hold my beers and watch this next one."
This movie wasn't that bad,i would not say it is his worst,it would be at the level of Under Siege or Belly of the beast.
Everyone knows how he acts as a person in real life👻👻
@@nunosantos00 Are you saying you actually watched this garbage?! This YT comedy is more entertaining than most of his movies(since he turned into a hippo)
@@lukeuseforce Only when i watch i can have an opinion.
There are lots of garbage movies out there and yes it has some bullshit here like dark magic and all and his voice is horrible but the action i guess i have seen worse.
3 stars at least from 0-5.
@@nunosantos00 I'm impressed at your ability to sit thru this! His first few movies were awesome. After that, he just went downhill. Segal is actually quite a terrible person in real life. If you're ever interested, search for Segal's true history on YT. You would be shocked to know what this sack of crap has done in his life.
@@lukeuseforce I saw many shít from him,he has charges for sexual abuse in the movies,people talking about stupid things he said and did,his ego is too big and he thinks he is the only one.
He talks with disrespect about other martial artists too,there are lies about him teaching kicks to Anderson Silva...
There are so many stories about this guy and i barely know all of them.
But there are other movies i can compare to this like Attrition,End of a gun,Contract to kill,General commander,a good man,sniper special ops and i don't put this one in that list.
What people don’t know is that all those scenes of Seagal writing on the computer are actual scenes of Steven writing the script as he goes along shooting the movie
😂😂😂😂
All work and no play make steve a fat boy
It's TRUE.
"they call me Crash because I never have" that the spirit of a good Pilot
This guy sat through the entire movie for us. Sacrifices😢
That's rough.
Just like Seagal does
@@Violant3 space ice probably stood up throughout his review of the movie more than Seagal stood up the entire time filing the movie 😂
Seagal movies are definitely movies that you want to get the Cliff notes for ( instead of watching it).....
Seagal should get unto comedy; even though he makes us laugh unintenionally, maybe he just might suceed at comedy
Ahh the old quick left turn trick, I did it myself last night driving home from the dance club. I had 4 officers chasing me, lights flashing, sirens blaring too. But all disappeared in an instant when I turned my right blinker on and swung a left
And I just subscribed, I had too, Steven Seagal is walking by my house, he's always walking!
Makes sense
@@thomaslouis5626 you mean sitting by it
Well most police officers lean to the right
Not the turn left trick!!! I did that on my bicycle riding home being chased by 80s action henchmen. Even my punches had sound effects. We did the flailing arm fight scene.
He must be the only actor that has a fan base dedicated specifically to see how bad his next new movies really get..
Adam sandler?
@@Creammm69 that one to
🤣🤣
@@Creammm69 That's not fair, a lot of people watch Adam Sandler to see if he is making a movie so him and his friends can go on vacation (his comedies) or trying to win an Oscar (his dramas).
Tyler Perry is the Steven Seagal of comedy.
This channel is so unbelievably excellent there aren’t even words to describe the level of hilarious.
I can't stop laughing. This is more entertaining than the movie itself.
“Mondays am I right?” 😂😂. That broke me
Also “Laundering at a laundromat”bahaha
Was looking for that "Monday" comment 🤣🤣🤣
Yes it was genius
I never felt more confident that I could finance a movie with a single paycheck until I saw this
😁😁😁😁😁
Chris Nolan's first movie had an $8k budget so anything's possible. let's let Seagal learn the ropes. he's growing into his big boy pants.
I was going to finance it with a few old buttons and lint I found in my pockets but I assumed me offering top dollar like that would have made them assume I was mocking them.
You can actually make a relatively good money on a really low budget if you know what you're doing.
@@NexusKin like paranormal activity
Bringing a date to your ("beloved"???) wife's funeral...that is some cold sh!t😂
Seagal fan : it's called moving on
But it fits to his character, who usually just murders everyone he deems not life worthy lol
He went to his wife's funeral with a date, and he wore jeans and a pair of timberlands. Also, he left early! What a Horn Dog.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😑Seagal: I loved her. She was my world. My mundo. Ill avenge her. Lets go, baby.
He has the facial expression of a sloth consistent throughout his career. With his unwavering acting skills be it grief, anger or action he has to be the most relentless actor of his time and not to mention that he is the sloppiest, the stiffest, the most inflexible action hero to come out of Hollywood.
No homo
I think he got to do his own movie to play as when he cleared his debt to the Gambino Crime family, but let just say when the mob owned him he was doing a little better now he is crap
He actually can stretch his stomach over his face so theres that
@@tiattahiscupcakecandykatan2453 all of your comments are completely unfunny and just terrible.
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there is a Steven Seagal movie where his daughter gets kidnapped and he goes to bed first instead of going after her immediately 😂😂😂
is it the one where he say "that's syphilis"?
@@motionless360either that or Belly of The Beast
1:00 i never saw this before but it's officially the best movie clip to play out of context. Just seagal fucking impaling a child
No one human being can possess this amount of ego and narsassism, Steven is in a universe of his own, literally
He's got to be the most ridiculous human being on earth.
Is it....Steven Universe?
nah some peole are trying to reach that point *cough cough linus from lltt*
Except Donald Trump
@@peterfay4287
Yeah, I'm not sure which person has less humilty, a bigger ego, suffers more from malignant narcissistic personality disorder, body dysmorphia, or has more ridiculous hair. I guess point to Steven for not applying Orange face paint each day: Only shoe polish to his hair.
The cup of coffee that didn’t break is of higher quality than any movie where Segal has appeared
"They call me Crash, because I never have." Is the hardest shit any man has ever uttered.
Call me Band-Aid, because I don't bleed.
Call me AIDS, because I don't fuck.
Call me dirty, cuz i am never
Meet my friend, Sex.
aint got time to bleed
I can picture Ben Stiller saying that Band-Aid line
Blowing up Seagals wife was a mercy killing. She paid someone off to get out of the movie.
The money laundering part had me dead 💀 lmao
He would need laundry considering he once got choked and shit his pants lmao
It's partially true isn't it? You need put them in for a spin so they'll look really worn
@@yourpalal5318 you don't throw your one dollar bills in the washer?
Thats where they wash the money clean.
NOPE GRAVE THING ON LAST SENE IS BEST MOVIE BS EVER