Can't help but wonder if he thinks that actually makes him look cool or something, lol. Like bro! Why are you eye banging the nanny (who is probably 50 years younger than him) the second you are back with your wife and kid?
@@unkon129 In his prime (late 80's early 90's) for sure. If I remember correctly he left his Japanese wife and their kids in Japan in limbo for years while they were still technically married when his career started taking off in the states. Also he married prime Kelly Lebrock who was a total smokeshow. Him now or even then when this movie was released I may agree with you.
This is the video where you made me realize how much effort is put into finding different ways to pad out the run time and work around Steven actually being in the film less and less. It's gotta be more work than the rest of the movie combined.
*Steven calls his director* Steven: I just wrote another masterpiece Director: Please, no! I can’t do it anymore!!! Steven: What did you say?! Director: I’m honored direct your movies, Lord King Sensei Dr Steven Seagal. Steven: That’s what I thought. I will snatch your motherf*ckin birthday.
Look at the bright side.... for once Seagal is not whining about the environment and indigenous people. The less people say about those things, the better... coz all that environment crap is just made up bullocks by a politician named Al Gore and indigenous people... a commune Indian reservates in America where the federal government gives them millions of dollar each year and everybody there is still poor and miserable as fuck coz communism. The US doesn't like to talk about that one.
The thing that would have made the scene where they find the cannibal eating a clown perfect, would be if the cannibal turns to them and say: "Try this. Does this taste funny to you?"
"Him checking out the nanny was something he thaught he should include". The level of disrespect he has for his crew, the audience and himself is just staggering.
@@rorygillmore6555 I assumed they were saying thought incredulously, like if yuou typed "thought???!!! Lmfaorofl" at the idea Seagal used his mind for the action or process of thinking but went for the understated one word "thought" instead.
Seagal: Hey, producer guy. I just added a new part to my script. Producer: Um, Mr. Seagal, why did you decide to include your daily Mad Libs into the script? Seagal: We don't make movies by asking questions, so put it in the script. Producer: *groans* Fine.
The symbols change their meaning randomly. Or Steven Seagal interprets them randomly. Or both. Or neither. Or both AND neither. Or both and/or neither. Or all of the above. Seagalian logic is beyond the comprehension of us puny humans.
haha, yeah. I did enjoy some of Seagal's earlier movies; found it annoying though that it was always about save the environment & safe the indigenous; oil is bad stuff... like I can't remember a movie with him in it where this wasn't not just part of the plot.... it was the entire plot.
Thank you Space Ice for sacrificing your sanity to bring these breakdowns to the world. Otherwise I genuinely wouldn’t believe anyone could write or act as stupid as Seagal.
She was a bad cop too. I guess a man that tried to blow up a lady and then got thrown through a window wasn’t big news. She just let that guy in her house and laid down apparently.
I've got a theory that Seagal's character is actually the killer. Or both killers. That's how he knows what wire to cut and how to "crack the code." Then he just gives some rando brain damage by fighting them and blames them.
@@SpaceIce That's not a flaw at all. In fact, it REINFORCES my theory that Seagal is the killer. Clearly, he is also some kind of dark magician who can cloud people's minds. That explains why bomb boobs doesn't recognize him. Dark wizardry ALSO explains why the girlfriend and the"wife" at the end don't seem to realize that's Steven Seagal they are throwing themselves at.
@@davidjob4909 OMG I would pay $$ to see Seagal play an evil wizard. Ray Liotta played an evil wizard in In the Name of the King...which is cringe casting
Growing up and having to endure my grandparents obsession with "Matlock", I lost my (expletive) when I heard "Fatlock". You Sir, are pure entertainment gold.
I have to admire the dedication to count the times the used the same frame in the fact. This guys puts more effort in his reviews than Steven Seagal has ever put in one of his movies.
I love how Steven Seagal wrote his own character to be so incompetent and violent that he makes it impossible for the justice system to prosecute the bad guys. It's probably supposed to be commentary or something but it really just makes him the villain of his own story.
You’re thinking WAY too deep for Seagal’s writing. None of his movies are critiques of the world-the only goal he has when writing a screenplay is to maintain the delusional, nonexistent real life badass public image that he thinks he has
What also strikes me in these ...moving pictures(as fasr as I can tell from the vids), is that he has no emotions. He "wins" at the end, the girl is dead, but he has a family and nanny waiting for him, so it was all just...idk, him being a psychopath?! No, no further, head is spinning. But he never flinches, he never cares, he certaily never cries. Or uses the stairs...(Edit; damn, that even rhymes!!)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Seagal is the master of "and then" style of writing. Things just happen without any attention to how they connect. He just moves on and on haphazardly and care-free. It's almost brilliant.
Since discovering Space Ice's channel ('cause that's the only way I'm watching a Seagal movie), it seems like Seagal is basically writing his own fan-fic. A lot of of his stuff strikes me as the kind of thing a 14-year-old would write, because it's cool to fantasize about.
@@cyphaborg6598 Apart from being completely convincing as an action film star in his first ever film "Above the Law" when he wasn't even an actor. The guy had a great presence and believability about him, like a Bruce Willis' John McLane but with martial art talent on top. Say what you will about Seagal but the guy was part of some brilliant films in his early career and with no acting experience or training, just pure charisma and martial arts talent. I'm sure you're a lot better though. Maybe you even think you could beat him up in his elderly years? Doubt it, go look at his recent work training MMA guys like Jesse Enkamp this year.
I do my favorite actor by far. He may seem silly but he's a serious martial artist and first American to teach Japan their own style. People forget about that.
I just stumbled upon this channel, and this review had me in tears laughing my ass off, and I don't find 99% of shit on UA-cam even remotely funny. Great job Space Ice!
I didn’t have epilepsy when I started watching that fight scene, but then I woke up on the floor with cuts and bruises and drool. And the coffee table was broken and in pieces too. Thanks Steven Seagal
Steven Segal is hilarious. I've decided his movies are action parodies. The funniest thing about him though is how I can imagine him in his trailer smoking weed and watching porn or some BS while they make the movie. Someone keeps going up to his trailer "Hey Steven! time for your scene where you sit in the resturant and talk with the victim" His response "No no no that sounds like to much work, use the stunt double and just put in some reaction shots from other scenes for me."
This is exactly what I would do as a kid to write a story ! This of 5 random 'badass' ideas and connect them in unvelievable fashion . Mine were purposely 'kid' funny though . His are meant serious business .
"So that's the end of the movie right? No, of course not. That would actually wrap things up in a very stupid but semi-coherent way, and that's just not his style." LOL, HILARIOUS1
He should have been cut to pieces from the window glass, and have at least two broken legs and a broken back from the fall, but next thing you know he's slap-fighing Segal.
At the time, I wondered whether the DVD player was skipping, especially since it was happening again and again during this movie. Thanks for clearing that up...
I have been binging your Steven Seagal videos for the past 2 days. You sir are a a lifesaver and deserve an award for watching these movies so we don’t have to.
I felt bad for the emotionally abused girlfriend getting killed. Then they come to the part with the FAMILY and him checking out the nanny and I felt so much worse.
I'd recommend skipping "Out of Reach", where Seagal is grooming a 13-year old girl. I guess you could say "it's the character", but Seagal wrote his own character as someone to be admired ... correction: to be idolized.
So you're saying it wasn't Seagal himself that edited in the same sequence 20 times? Probably accidentally hitting the "paste" button with his chubby fingers again and again?
I love how the ending of the whole movie basically says that the main character was cheating on his wife the whole movie.....his wife that he has two kids with, who we hear nothing about
And after knowingly cheating on her, he casually checks out the nanny, essentially normalizing this behavior of his. And for a detective, he surely made the justice prosecuting a lot harder by killing and blindly assaulting all the fucking suspects. Nice goddamn job, mr "good guy" Seagull. Best thing is, if Seagull was an actually competent writer, he could've made everything listed above work if his character turned out to be THE murderer and psycho, basically Manny Pardo from Hotline Miami 2, who used the detective job as a front to commit violent killings. Otherwise, he makes it look like we're supposed to sympathize with this bastard lol
@@velocilevon As a writer myself, I want to be mad that this imbecile has been green-lit to write, film and produce completely incoherent action films every 2 weeks until he one day dies on set mid-waddle, but it's actually just too funny to do anything but laugh hysterically
The family at the end was so hilarious and unexpected! She giving him a peep show is so random. The edited cursing, it's actually way more funny in my opinion. Thank you for such a great channel. I thought I was the only one that thought Steven Segal sux. He was the only actor invincible in most of his fight scenes.
Steven's career sure was a great what if. His movies in the 80s and 90s were all pretty fun, probably because they were written and directed by people with an ounce of talent. Even into the late 90s he had a few, plus cameos that were fun and still cool to watch. Then we hit the 2000s and beyond, and I just don't know what happened. It's hard to believe the movies just keep on coming. There is no way these can be turning a profit.
Nah, you're wrong on the profit part. His movies are being distributed overseas exclusively. It's like a one-hot wonder that goes on tour off one song. Segal is terrible, but he has name recognition, and ppl overseas willing to watch his shitty movies 100%. Ppl don't make movies not to profit -- not how it works
He got notoriously difficult to work with and started to put on weight, which drastically decreased his marketability. He had a little mini comeback in the early 2000’s which was engineered by a friend of his who was high up at Warner Bros, who forced him to lose weight and linked him with some decent directors and co stars. I think that only lasted 2 or 3 movies then he was back to his old ways.
I don't think they were ever meant to turn a profit. I think, that they're just being produced as part of a money-laundering scheme and the Russian mob pays him handsomely for this.
Holy hell, this is so tragic to the girlfriend character. Seagal wanted to protect his family but he couldn't keep his peepee in check so he got a "killable" love interest while he dealt with the psychos
Look up his Wikipedia page - apparently he regularly really tries to hurt the stunt people he’s working with. So you’re right, being Seagull’s SD is a dream job because you don’t actually have to interact with him at all…
You left out the continuing flashbacks to Segal’s childhood when his twin was killed at a party. 1. That’s never actually explained. His twin just walks off into the forest and some random old dude cuts his throat. 2. The whole family (Mom, Dad, twin boys, etc.) are played by East Indians. Possible to explain Segal’s terrible fake tan?
It took him less than 3 minutes to look around, find the killer, go to the building, rise to the apartment floor, enter the apartment, talk to the killer, fight the killer, interrogate the killer and contact his guys below.
I've lost count of how many of these videos I've watched so far. Every single time I keep thinking, "There's no way it can get worse. Surely this is the bottom of the Steven Seagal barrel." And then he pulls out epileptic fight scenes and "cannibal eating a clown", and I no longer think there is a barrel or even a bottom. These movies just keep tunneling further and further into the yawning abyss of madness.
AHAHHAHHAHHA wtf this is the funniest version of Segal critique I've ever seen. Love how you make it like a dramatic trailer, I dunno how you manage to keep up the energy tbh hahhahhah too good
At some point someone said "man that slap fighting really looks good" and now he throws it into every movie. I guarantee when he is filming it he is imagining himself as Saltbae beaming all proud of how good that slap scene is going to be...
Another Seagal masterpiece! What amazes me is not Seagal’s obvious movie making genius, but the mental stability of the people who continually give him the money to make these magnificent films.
Theres a "joke' that Seagal isnt really making movies. The Mob or someone else is just using this for money laundering purposes. After hearing how the Mob scared the crap outta him at a sit down meeting, I believe he would do anything for them outta fear
Probably more of a laziness double than a stunt double. Steven probably can't be bothered doing any shots that he can possibly avoid so he can make his way to the catering table.
Thrown out a window 13 times, but don't forget we had to get 15 cuts in 3 seconds to see Liam Neeson jump a fence in the 3rd taken movie. Talk about whiplash
Every Seagal movie is a cinematic masterpiece. He's the best actor in the world and his movies are universal blockbusters. Tom Cruise is jealous of his success.
All this time I had it wrong. I had thought Steven Seagal was an "action movie star". But instead, he is a comedian! Thanks for setting me straight. lol
So he kicked him out the window? Looks like he turn around and ran through the window. How did he not even get hurt by that fall and come back at the end of the movie to fight Steven?
Yeah that didn't make sense either. My first aid training is limited to Boy Scouts but I'm pretty sure getting thrown out of a 4th floor window onto concrete is not something anyone is going to walk away from, particularly when they're the prime suspect in an attempted bombing. They're going to be very lucky if they only have several broken bones and that's if they're lucky enough to not land on their back or head.
The cannibal eating a clown is 10000 percent all because Seagal heard the joke of "tastes funny" and thought it was hilarious and his own idea. I will bet my life savings that was the case.
When I was a kid watching his movies I never really thought about these incoherent plots/stunt double/dubbing and slap flighting. I just enjoyed them like any kid would. I guess if you think too much it becomes stupid. I also think since Seagal is playing the same character in every movie you kinda know already he will "win" everytime before the movie even starts.
@@tomatoisnotafruit5670i liked his early movies alot, especially under seige because he kicked ass lol tommy lee jones and steven seagall was bad ass lol
He’s had maybe 3-4 solid, successful movies, considering the vibe of 90s action movies, all of which were his early work. He’s one of those actors who peaked early on, until his ego sent him downhill fast. Basically, anything he starred in after the early-mid 90s, was either not good to absolute dog shit.
Looks better than "The Last Jedi" at least, going to check this film out as a fan of Seagal's early filmography. Amazing to think that he wasn't even an actor when he starred in the high budget Warner Brothers productions like Out for Justice and Hard to Kill etc... Even Above the Law (his first ever acting role) was pretty decent.
On Deadly Ground seems to be where it went to his head and things started going downhill. Him beating up the bully in the bar and asking what it takes to change the essence of a man. "I need time to change... I need time.." is so ridiculous I laugh every time
These Steven Seagal movie reviews you post are really an important public service. I remember watching a Steven Seagal movie, once, back in the day. Once. I knew then, after one. Just one look, that's all it took. :)
Man, I'm from France and I would like to congratulate you for your awesome work. I've watched or listened to (while driving) most of your vids and I really enjoyed them. You make me laugh continuously with great lines and the finest observations of Steven awesome work of art. Steven remains true to himself and it's a pretty hard choice to assume in our society. The result is that his movie appearances won't be forgotten. His work is legendary for reasons that are unique, and you are able to transcend it which also a work of art.
Love your channel, Ice! I thank you for suffering through these stupid movies for our enjoyment. Because, normal people who watch Seaball's are likely to do self harm to forget they sat through these awful "movies".
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice
are you gonna review another Steven Seagal movie Glimmer Man?
@@skeaneable He really should
Fatlock lmfao
Yo space..what movie is the scene when that chinese meets his dad after 45 ,years?
I’m suddenly addicted to this channel…
Did you know that Steven is also 1/4 Cherokee?
He weighs 1/4 of a Jeep Cherokee
😂
My god, I nearly pissed myself. Lol, thank you sir, had a good chackle at that one.
Which Steven weighs more: Seagal or Assanti?
LMAO
EPIC!
Seagal having a wife while having gf in another place, and eyeing another woman is a story line he got from his own life.
you think he really would have got a wife, girlfriend and another girl interested in him at the same time without playing them big cash? lol
this man is repusling on so many levels 😖
Can't help but wonder if he thinks that actually makes him look cool or something, lol. Like bro! Why are you eye banging the nanny (who is probably 50 years younger than him) the second you are back with your wife and kid?
Dude wanted to be Tony Soprano so bad
@@unkon129 In his prime (late 80's early 90's) for sure. If I remember correctly he left his Japanese wife and their kids in Japan in limbo for years while they were still technically married when his career started taking off in the states. Also he married prime Kelly Lebrock who was a total smokeshow. Him now or even then when this movie was released I may agree with you.
"Kills a prostitute with a toy baby" is something I never thought would be spoken into existence and yet here we are
"We're only ten minutes into the movie, and yet, this seems completely normal."
r/brandnewsentence
@@haley746that is exactly what I was going to say 😂
thats just a gta player doing normal gta stuff
A canibal 🍖 eating 🍽️ a clown 🤡
Never change, Steven
This is the video where you made me realize how much effort is put into finding different ways to pad out the run time and work around Steven actually being in the film less and less. It's gotta be more work than the rest of the movie combined.
Oh don't worry, he won't lol
He couldn't if he wanted to 🤣
and this movie had a budget of 10 million dollars... where did the money go?
Never change Space Ice
The director indicating that he has nothing to do with this is hilarious
My favorite part
Whoever that person is, he or she is surely being taken hostage by Seagal
Took me out
*Steven calls his director*
Steven: I just wrote another masterpiece
Director: Please, no! I can’t do it anymore!!!
Steven: What did you say?!
Director: I’m honored direct your movies, Lord King Sensei Dr Steven Seagal.
Steven: That’s what I thought. I will snatch your motherf*ckin birthday.
And when the director put his own name on screen it was camouflaged by the windowsill in shot.
I went from knowing not a damned thing about Seagal movies to basically becoming an expert from binge watching these videos
"If you have epilepsy, then you don't want to watch this. If you don't have epilepsy, then you still don't want to watch this." Great line lol.
It had me 😂😂😂
just watch this comedy movie. it is epic. it will be in the museum few years from now, so that nobody will ever see this again.
Look at the bright side.... for once Seagal is not whining about the environment and indigenous people. The less people say about those things, the better... coz all that environment crap is just made up bullocks by a politician named Al Gore and indigenous people... a commune Indian reservates in America where the federal government gives them millions of dollar each year and everybody there is still poor and miserable as fuck coz communism. The US doesn't like to talk about that one.
He should've said this at the beginning. 😀
I don't have epilepsy.
It still managed to trigger a migraine, though!🤯🤯🤯
The thing that would have made the scene where they find the cannibal eating a clown perfect, would be if the cannibal turns to them and say: "Try this. Does this taste funny to you?"
That is what happens
You're expecting too much sir, tone it down a lot
I literally just nearly pissed myself at your comment! That is hilarious and I can’t believe you’ve got like only a couple of likes,. Wth people
BRO! missed opportunity by Seagal. Should've hired you.
Ha Ha ha 😅
Steven Seigal : “I just read the most incredible screenplay .”
Rob Schinder : “Really , who wrote it ?”
Steven Seigal : “ I did .”
😂😂😂😂😂
"Him checking out the nanny was something he thaught he should include". The level of disrespect he has for his crew, the audience and himself is just staggering.
Thought
Dude... a Spanish guy had to correct your English... harsh
In a different movie he brought a date to his wife's funeral.
@@rorygillmore6555 I assumed they were saying thought incredulously, like if yuou typed "thought???!!! Lmfaorofl" at the idea Seagal used his mind for the action or process of thinking but went for the understated one word "thought" instead.
ive never even seen anyone in my life spell thought that way lmao man the public school system failed you so bad im so sorry
"He kills a prostitute with a toy baby." Is a line I wasn't expecting to hear today 😂😂 What writing!
Facts yo
Kid wasn't his
Classic Joe Exotic
Seagal is a groundbreaking comedy writer.
I just choked on my homemade egg mcmuffin 🤣 from that line. Thanks Space Ice
"A cannibal eating a clown"
Pretty much Steven Seguls career in a sentence lol😅😂
he tastes funny
😂
Seagal: Hey, producer guy. I just added a new part to my script.
Producer: Um, Mr. Seagal, why did you decide to include your daily Mad Libs into the script?
Seagal: We don't make movies by asking questions, so put it in the script.
Producer: *groans* Fine.
Was hoping that would be a riff on Stephen King's It.
“Hey, looks like he got the hiccups. Somebody get that guy a glass of water”
Absolute writing gold 😂
He need some milk
I'm still trying to figure it out, I just don't understand.
@@tsipher No one does unfortunately, I'm still thinking about it 4 months later.
Same
@@tsipher Same.
I was in tears when he pointed out how he cracked two lines of code with same symbols having different meaning.
I can read the Words….. but i just don’t what they are sayin’…
"i broke the cooode"
The symbols change their meaning randomly. Or Steven Seagal interprets them randomly. Or both. Or neither. Or both AND neither. Or both and/or neither. Or all of the above.
Seagalian logic is beyond the comprehension of us puny humans.
@@jonmcdaniel8492 🤣🤣🤣 Seagal is in another level, indeed.
haha, yeah. I did enjoy some of Seagal's earlier movies; found it annoying though that it was always about save the environment & safe the indigenous; oil is bad stuff... like I can't remember a movie with him in it where this wasn't not just part of the plot.... it was the entire plot.
Thank you Space Ice for sacrificing your sanity to bring these breakdowns to the world. Otherwise I genuinely wouldn’t believe anyone could write or act as stupid as Seagal.
His girlfriend was trying to be a detective but she didn't know he had another wife she was a bad detective lol
😂😂😂
Maybe thats why he didnt pay attention to her. good for one thing. js
She was a decoy from the beginning. Steven SeagENIUS
She was a bad cop too. I guess a man that tried to blow up a lady and then got thrown through a window wasn’t big news. She just let that guy in her house and laid down apparently.
So her death might mean some homicide cases actually get solved. Every cloud.
I've got a theory that Seagal's character is actually the killer. Or both killers. That's how he knows what wire to cut and how to "crack the code." Then he just gives some rando brain damage by fighting them and blames them.
Only flaw there is how the woman at the beginning didn't recognize Seagal. Which still makes it far more likely than anything we saw in the movie
@@SpaceIce That's not a flaw at all. In fact, it REINFORCES my theory that Seagal is the killer. Clearly, he is also some kind of dark magician who can cloud people's minds.
That explains why bomb boobs doesn't recognize him. Dark wizardry ALSO explains why the girlfriend and the"wife" at the end don't seem to realize that's Steven Seagal they are throwing themselves at.
@@davidjob4909 OMG I would pay $$ to see Seagal play an evil wizard. Ray Liotta played an evil wizard in In the Name of the King...which is cringe casting
@@Mattastrophic1 imagine Seagal as some reject Sith Lord. Darth Seagal
🤣🤣🤣
Growing up and having to endure my grandparents obsession with "Matlock", I lost my (expletive) when I heard "Fatlock".
You Sir, are pure entertainment gold.
You actually took the effort to find out how scenes are repeated 👏👏😂
He's really thorough on pointing out every piece of bullshit jam packed into these films 😂
It’s absolutely brilliant.
Scenes are repeated by playing them again. That took no effort.
He's a keen movie analyst.
i don't think he has any effort to begin with it seagal so everyone can find out the scene repeat
Fatlock actually made me laugh out loud, along with his face, in the fight scenes.
Right! Brother I was DEAD when he said "Fatlock"! 🤣🤣🤣
@@mikealpinkard80 right on brother.
Fatlock has made me laugh out loud again for the third time.
What is Fatlock?
@@rudyNok a play on Matlock, he was a TV detective, so seagull's Fatlock.
I have to admire the dedication to count the times the used the same frame in the fact. This guys puts more effort in his reviews than Steven Seagal has ever put in one of his movies.
I love how Steven Seagal wrote his own character to be so incompetent and violent that he makes it impossible for the justice system to prosecute the bad guys. It's probably supposed to be commentary or something but it really just makes him the villain of his own story.
Reason why I don't watch his stupid movies.
What brilliant writing
You’re thinking WAY too deep for Seagal’s writing. None of his movies are critiques of the world-the only goal he has when writing a screenplay is to maintain the delusional, nonexistent real life badass public image that he thinks he has
Segal thinks destroying the evidence is way cooler. He saw it in rush hour but that was supposed to be joke on how bad of a cop Chris tucker was
What also strikes me in these ...moving pictures(as fasr as I can tell from the vids), is that he has no emotions. He "wins" at the end, the girl is dead, but he has a family and nanny waiting for him, so it was all just...idk, him being a psychopath?!
No, no further, head is spinning.
But he never flinches, he never cares, he certaily never cries. Or uses the stairs...(Edit; damn, that even rhymes!!)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Seagal is the master of "and then" style of writing. Things just happen without any attention to how they connect. He just moves on and on haphazardly and care-free. It's almost brilliant.
Since discovering Space Ice's channel ('cause that's the only way I'm watching a Seagal movie), it seems like Seagal is basically writing his own fan-fic. A lot of of his stuff strikes me as the kind of thing a 14-year-old would write, because it's cool to fantasize about.
Hahahaha!!
@@naran_naran That sounds about right.
“Go out on a limb” something Seagal should never do.
his plots are unencumbered by prior events & uninhibited by the "laws" of physics
Having a stunt double for scenes that are just walking is next level stuff 😂😂😂
Baffling 😮😅😂
There's no way anyone doesn't watch seagal movies ironically anymore
Try watching his first 4 films, "Hard to Kill" and "Out for Justice" especially, top-class martial arts action films.
actually they do. then again.....
@@AJDOLDCHANNELARCHIVE I'm guessing he had no input himself besides the stupid running lol.
@@cyphaborg6598 Apart from being completely convincing as an action film star in his first ever film "Above the Law" when he wasn't even an actor. The guy had a great presence and believability about him, like a Bruce Willis' John McLane but with martial art talent on top.
Say what you will about Seagal but the guy was part of some brilliant films in his early career and with no acting experience or training, just pure charisma and martial arts talent. I'm sure you're a lot better though. Maybe you even think you could beat him up in his elderly years? Doubt it, go look at his recent work training MMA guys like Jesse Enkamp this year.
I do my favorite actor by far. He may seem silly but he's a serious martial artist and first American to teach Japan their own style. People forget about that.
I just stumbled upon this channel, and this review had me in tears laughing my ass off, and I don't find 99% of shit on UA-cam even remotely funny. Great job Space Ice!
what can I say incredible acting, a lot of hand to hand off the hook slapping scenes not to be done mindless shooting scenes what more can you ask for
Facts bro
There's a lot of videos on UA-cam making fun of Trump that's hilarious.
Space ice = real talent.
Same. Just found him like 2 days ago and been binging this shit nonstop since.
I didn’t have epilepsy when I started watching that fight scene, but then I woke up on the floor with cuts and bruises and drool. And the coffee table was broken and in pieces too.
Thanks Steven Seagal
I got Full Body Tourette 😂
Me too
Only a brilliant strategist could write a script like that in just one move.
I hate myself for knowing where that came from goddamnit.
The kind of man who walks with an air of confidence rarely seen in this day and age.
Steven Segal is hilarious. I've decided his movies are action parodies. The funniest thing about him though is how I can imagine him in his trailer smoking weed and watching porn or some BS while they make the movie. Someone keeps going up to his trailer "Hey Steven! time for your scene where you sit in the resturant and talk with the victim" His response "No no no that sounds like to much work, use the stunt double and just put in some reaction shots from other scenes for me."
His stund double or his "walking along the street" body double?
@@HappyBeezerStudios Stunt double.
The most unbelievable part of this movie is that Steven managed to get from the park with the woman with the bomb to the apartment in under 2 minutes
it's like he brainstormed ideas and then decided to put all five or so of them into the movie without considering any coherence or meaning whatsoever.
That pretty much sums up all Seagal's later movies
@Jimbo Bimbo I read that in Seagal's voice.
@Jimbo Bimbo add "that looked awesome! Let's repeat that 20 times!"
This is exactly what I would do as a kid to write a story ! This of 5 random 'badass' ideas and connect them in unvelievable fashion . Mine were purposely 'kid' funny though . His are meant serious business .
He kicked the guy in the chest and out the window, but the dude looks like he just ran through the window. 😂 😂
And survived! It looked like he landed face first!
"So that's the end of the movie right? No, of course not. That would actually wrap things up in a very stupid but semi-coherent way, and that's just not his style."
LOL, HILARIOUS1
“The car blows up then he just gets out and is completely fine” … I’m in tears 😂😂😭
Steven Seagal is the man who desperately wants us to believe he is like Chuck Norris.
Both suck and are cringe, chuck new when to quit though
No he desperately believes he's way better lol
@@floydbutnotsopink6328 Chuck Norris is so mentaly strong he can watch the same Seagul movie twice without going crazy.
his the chucks counterpart
He is chuck's doppelganger and that's a stretch
Whenever I'm sad, I just look up SpaceIce's Seagal videos and it completely changes me into one ROTFL happy person
"Fatlock" made me just about spew coffee.
Yeah, a good old school reference 🙂
😂😂
We All came for the guy falling off the window 13 times.
..., and i stayed for the 20 times repeated split second.
i came 13 times
You and Segal both.
He should have been cut to pieces from the window glass, and have at least two broken legs and a broken back from the fall, but next thing you know he's slap-fighing Segal.
At the time, I wondered whether the DVD player was skipping, especially since it was happening again and again during this movie. Thanks for clearing that up...
Imagine if Steven one day realizes,
that a being bad-ass and being a bad person are not the same thing
(in movies and irl).
I have been binging your Steven Seagal videos for the past 2 days. You sir are a a lifesaver and deserve an award for watching these movies so we don’t have to.
I felt bad for the emotionally abused girlfriend getting killed. Then they come to the part with the FAMILY and him checking out the nanny and I felt so much worse.
I'd recommend skipping "Out of Reach", where Seagal is grooming a 13-year old girl.
I guess you could say "it's the character", but Seagal wrote his own character as someone to be admired ... correction: to be idolized.
Spoiler warning broh
@Larry West well he's a self insert in every movie so it is him
It’s the most confusing end to a movie I’ve ever seen.
I think that ending shows that SS is also a psycho but he was kept on check he is busy with his job. But now he has ran out of other psychos to kill.
Space Ice, "This is where the director lets us know, 'don't blame me for this shit', with an arrow pointing to 'written by Steven Seagal'
CLASSIC LOL!
Wow, that slight head movement shot they used over and over, must have really been strenuous for him. So much intensity. He could only did it once
Seagal has a blackbelt in Bullshido
"I promise we're almost done." is the funniest shit ever 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Glad I wasn’t eating during that part or I would’ve choked to death.
The hardest working person on that movie is the guy that edit the movie and he`s probably now suffering from a acute case of Parkinson disease ! lol
funny that made zero sense just like the movie
@@PuppetMasterdaath144 How much sense do you need?
seagal hired AI to do that, and that AI is going to be Skynet in the near future
So you're saying it wasn't Seagal himself that edited in the same sequence 20 times? Probably accidentally hitting the "paste" button with his chubby fingers again and again?
I love how the ending of the whole movie basically says that the main character was cheating on his wife the whole movie.....his wife that he has two kids with, who we hear nothing about
And after knowingly cheating on her, he casually checks out the nanny, essentially normalizing this behavior of his. And for a detective, he surely made the justice prosecuting a lot harder by killing and blindly assaulting all the fucking suspects. Nice goddamn job, mr "good guy" Seagull.
Best thing is, if Seagull was an actually competent writer, he could've made everything listed above work if his character turned out to be THE murderer and psycho, basically Manny Pardo from Hotline Miami 2, who used the detective job as a front to commit violent killings. Otherwise, he makes it look like we're supposed to sympathize with this bastard lol
@@velocilevon The man is absolutely insane.
@@velocilevon As a writer myself, I want to be mad that this imbecile has been green-lit to write, film and produce completely incoherent action films every 2 weeks until he one day dies on set mid-waddle, but it's actually just too funny to do anything but laugh hysterically
A hero who is not perfect
Kids are Asian to make even less sense 🤣🤣
The family at the end was so hilarious and unexpected! She giving him a peep show is so random. The edited cursing, it's actually way more funny in my opinion. Thank you for such a great channel. I thought I was the only one that thought Steven Segal sux. He was the only actor invincible in most of his fight scenes.
Steven's career sure was a great what if. His movies in the 80s and 90s were all pretty fun, probably because they were written and directed by people with an ounce of talent. Even into the late 90s he had a few, plus cameos that were fun and still cool to watch. Then we hit the 2000s and beyond, and I just don't know what happened. It's hard to believe the movies just keep on coming. There is no way these can be turning a profit.
He def trolling at this point lol
Nah, you're wrong on the profit part. His movies are being distributed overseas exclusively. It's like a one-hot wonder that goes on tour off one song. Segal is terrible, but he has name recognition, and ppl overseas willing to watch his shitty movies 100%. Ppl don't make movies not to profit -- not how it works
@@WorldwideGee he is probably popular in russia for some reason since he is bootlicking putin so much....
He got notoriously difficult to work with and started to put on weight, which drastically decreased his marketability. He had a little mini comeback in the early 2000’s which was engineered by a friend of his who was high up at Warner Bros, who forced him to lose weight and linked him with some decent directors and co stars. I think that only lasted 2 or 3 movies then he was back to his old ways.
I don't think they were ever meant to turn a profit. I think, that they're just being produced as part of a money-laundering scheme and the Russian mob pays him handsomely for this.
Your commentary is 100x better than Seagal's writing 🤣
Cheating on wife with sidepiece, while checking out the nanny after returning home...the dude is definitely the serial killer.
Holy hell, this is so tragic to the girlfriend character. Seagal wanted to protect his family but he couldn't keep his peepee in check so he got a "killable" love interest while he dealt with the psychos
.....i`m worried what they have to go thru to get in his movie 🤔😬
Seagal *IS* the psycho in this mess of a flick. 🤪
I hope Seagal makes 20 more movies!! I’m loving these reviews!
You sir are part of the problem
Having a 2023 New Years party, and I'm heading the whole Seagul playlist in the background
Soon Steven Seagal will use stunt doubles for the scenes of him sitting down which is 90% of him actually being in his own movies.
@@rogierb5945 🤣🤣🤣🤣
If only he would use a stunt double for the writing 🤦🏽♂️
Being a stunt double for Steve Segal looks like a dream job
Look up his Wikipedia page - apparently he regularly really tries to hurt the stunt people he’s working with.
So you’re right, being Seagull’s SD is a dream job because you don’t actually have to interact with him at all…
If you can kick at least 1 foot off the ground then you've got the job, because steven can only kick 6inches high and it makes him look athletic
The cannibal eating the clown turns around with his blood smeared face, grins like a maniac and asks Detective Seagal "Hey does this taste funny?"
That M. Night Shyamalan Ending really got me ...He was a perveret all the time and nobody know it...Mindblown
🤯
You left out the continuing flashbacks to Segal’s childhood when his twin was killed at a party.
1. That’s never actually explained. His twin just walks off into the forest and some random old dude cuts his throat.
2. The whole family (Mom, Dad, twin boys, etc.) are played by East Indians. Possible to explain Segal’s terrible fake tan?
Killswitch: a movie so bad, you wish somebody would flip Steven seagal's kill switch..... Permanently!!!
It took him less than 3 minutes to look around, find the killer, go to the building, rise to the apartment floor, enter the apartment, talk to the killer, fight the killer, interrogate the killer and contact his guys below.
I've lost count of how many of these videos I've watched so far. Every single time I keep thinking, "There's no way it can get worse. Surely this is the bottom of the Steven Seagal barrel." And then he pulls out epileptic fight scenes and "cannibal eating a clown", and I no longer think there is a barrel or even a bottom. These movies just keep tunneling further and further into the yawning abyss of madness.
AHAHHAHHAHHA wtf this is the funniest version of Segal critique I've ever seen. Love how you make it like a dramatic trailer, I dunno how you manage to keep up the energy tbh hahhahhah too good
At some point someone said "man that slap fighting really looks good" and now he throws it into every movie. I guarantee when he is filming it he is imagining himself as Saltbae beaming all proud of how good that slap scene is going to be...
FATLOCK had me crying 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Even Socrates is laughing at this shit!! 😂
the end part where he actually says WHAAAAAT .. lol I never heard him actually get shocked like that
@@klondike69none85 ha ha oh yea !
Dear god, this is probably the most painful Segal movie yet. Hilarious, but the amount of replay action scenes makes me mad and sad.
It does induce a certain amount of anger mixed in with the laughs
12:47 - I love how Seagal's children are depicted as Asian b/c that's what nationality he's pretending to be this time. 🤣🤣
2:57 “hey looks like he’s got the Hiccups, somebody get that guy a glass of water “
If that was the best line he could come up with, I wonder what the other alternatives were
It’s hurts laughing at this shit cause he dead serious😂😂😂😂
@@IIIZ_EAZE 😂exactly
as soon as my wife walked in the room she heard "and the titties are saved" she looked at me like wtf! 😂
😂😂😂😂She must thought u was watching something else
The Slap fights, death by plastic baby, a cannibal clown 😂😂😂😂everything I want in a Seagal film
That sicky blues guitar riff during that amazing one liner was legendary.
Another Seagal masterpiece! What amazes me is not Seagal’s obvious movie making genius, but the mental stability of the people who continually give him the money to make these magnificent films.
Not to mention they have to be turning some profit? In order to keep making them. So there is apparently a market somewhere out there.
Theres a "joke' that Seagal isnt really making movies. The Mob or someone else is just using this for money laundering purposes. After hearing how the Mob scared the crap outta him at a sit down meeting, I believe he would do anything for them outta fear
possibly all these "movies" are just a money laundering operation...
these 3rd grade films are popular in Asia
@@impaugjuldivmax not as popular now though.
Probably more of a laziness double than a stunt double. Steven probably can't be bothered doing any shots that he can possibly avoid so he can make his way to the catering table.
These reviews are better then every Seagull movie made after Under Siege
These Seagal videos are absolute gold. Can't stop watching them. Thank you!
Thrown out a window 13 times, but don't forget we had to get 15 cuts in 3 seconds to see Liam Neeson jump a fence in the 3rd taken movie. Talk about whiplash
Every Seagal movie is a cinematic masterpiece. He's the best actor in the world and his movies are universal blockbusters. Tom Cruise is jealous of his success.
Say what you will about Steven personally, but he always brings his A Game to his movies…
@@JRRob3wn He did. He's among the hardest working actors going.
His slap fights are brilliant.
Oh no, I'm inside one of Steven Segals dreams 😱! HEEEEEELP !!!
@Jack Smith True. I met Seagal. He's the best at everything, just ask him, he'll tell you it's true.
omg the fight scenes lol
I was dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Man, you deserve way more subscribers.
Exactly
Dude, I’m watching all these Steven Seagal videos in a row and my face hurts how hilarious these videos are.
Space Ice ‘24
All this time I had it wrong. I had thought Steven Seagal was an "action movie star". But instead, he is a comedian! Thanks for setting me straight. lol
Steven Seagal is like the acting gift that keeps on giving lol. Just when you think his movies can’t get any worse he goes & shows you that they can.
I never realized there were so many Steven Seagull movies. These recaps are amazing. Thank you.
You almost broke character there at 12:40 😂
So he kicked him out the window? Looks like he turn around and ran through the window. How did he not even get hurt by that fall and come back at the end of the movie to fight Steven?
😂😂😂😂
how did he not get hurt after going through the window?
I'm wondering how he was still alive to come back for tge end!!!
Not only not hurt, but apparently left to pick himself up off the pile of glass on the sidewalk and no cop saw him get away...
Yeah that didn't make sense either. My first aid training is limited to Boy Scouts but I'm pretty sure getting thrown out of a 4th floor window onto concrete is not something anyone is going to walk away from, particularly when they're the prime suspect in an attempted bombing. They're going to be very lucky if they only have several broken bones and that's if they're lucky enough to not land on their back or head.
The "titty-bomber" was NOT hurt! He merely contracted a slight case of the hiccups!
We need a three hour documentary of Segal body doubles
As an extra in one of his movies, he once woke us all up from sleep just to tell us that he was going to bed!!!
hahahahahaha
Loving how detailed the Steven Seagal action camera angles were explained! Great job Space Ice 🍦!!!
This shit was hard to watch 😂😂😂
Hey it's Flossy and White Shoes! 😀
The cannibal eating a clown is 10000 percent all because Seagal heard the joke of "tastes funny" and thought it was hilarious and his own idea. I will bet my life savings that was the case.
Problem is if Steven did his own stuns that require sudden movements he would lose his toupee and his gut would break free of that girdle lol
Man this dude’s voice is hilarious by itself but the content just makes it go hand in hand. Glad I came across this channel
Getting kicked out of a window, not once, not twice but 13 TIMES! I am dead! 😂
Also, a canibal eating a clown? WTF?
🤯
Writing in your character cheating on his wife and then writing in checking out the nanny is insane lmaooo
When I was a kid watching his movies I never really thought about these incoherent plots/stunt double/dubbing and slap flighting. I just enjoyed them like any kid would. I guess if you think too much it becomes stupid. I also think since Seagal is playing the same character in every movie you kinda know already he will "win" everytime before the movie even starts.
his earlier movies weren't this bad, in fact most of them weren't bad at all.
Sorry but when I was a kid any plot hole would piss me off the same as today. I never get used to incoherences.
@@tomatoisnotafruit5670i liked his early movies alot, especially under seige because he kicked ass lol tommy lee jones and steven seagall was bad ass lol
He’s had maybe 3-4 solid, successful movies, considering the vibe of 90s action movies, all of which were his early work. He’s one of those actors who peaked early on, until his ego sent him downhill fast. Basically, anything he starred in after the early-mid 90s, was either not good to absolute dog shit.
@@mrhoneycutter 100% on point
Absolutely loved under seige 1 with Tommy Lee
And loved glimmer man and maybe maybe urban justice 😅
Looks better than "The Last Jedi" at least, going to check this film out as a fan of Seagal's early filmography. Amazing to think that he wasn't even an actor when he starred in the high budget Warner Brothers productions like Out for Justice and Hard to Kill etc... Even Above the Law (his first ever acting role) was pretty decent.
On Deadly Ground seems to be where it went to his head and things started going downhill.
Him beating up the bully in the bar and asking what it takes to change the essence of a man. "I need time to change... I need time.." is so ridiculous I laugh every time
@@froggygirl329 perfectly reasonable comment! Thank you!
These Steven Seagal movie reviews you post are really an important public service. I remember watching a Steven Seagal movie, once, back in the day. Once. I knew then, after one. Just one look, that's all it took. :)
Man, I'm from France and I would like to congratulate you for your awesome work. I've watched or listened to (while driving) most of your vids and I really enjoyed them. You make me laugh continuously with great lines and the finest observations of Steven awesome work of art. Steven remains true to himself and it's a pretty hard choice to assume in our society. The result is that his movie appearances won't be forgotten. His work is legendary for reasons that are unique, and you are able to transcend it which also a work of art.
Love your channel, Ice!
I thank you for suffering through these stupid movies for our enjoyment. Because, normal people who watch Seaball's are likely to do self harm to forget they sat through these awful "movies".