Well yeah, wouldnt you? Pretty sure I would hear him coming 1/2 a mile away. My bedside water glass would have those impact tremors like in Jurassic Park. Plus he moves so slow I would feel like I was Matrixing him.
Well hes got a good 30 or so more to choose from... and I'm sure even at 70 years old seagal still has more in him, he has many legal bills to pay off.
@@Chronix- you forgot he likes to grab actresses butt in live set movies and say it’s part of the act. Not only that, he loves grabbing assistant’s private area in the trailer where there are no witnesses and tell them it’s part of the job interview.
I don’t know if this is true but this is iMDB trivia for this movie: “When producers ran out of money, they offered to pay for Seagal's salary with daily McDonalds meals during shooting and for a full semester after the wrap up party. They only paid for two more months, and Seagal took Martinez to court. The case was settled for an undisclosed amount of Big Macs.”
I was unable even after multiple searches to find anything relating to this, so I think it's a hoax. I so want this to be true though so anyone reading this: please, prove me wrong lol
The fact that Seagal actually fell asleep and they didn’t bother to take the time to re-edit the scene is astounding. This is top notch filmmaking right here.
Putting this much thought into this might cost you more braincells than you were ready to loose There's a reason why you switch off your brain before watching shit movies
@@thediaz07 quick! Drink some salt sugar solution Maybe it'll stop the quick decline or just watch another Steven seagal movie. If you watch so much stupid shit, your brain will adapt
I will be randomly doing something, either working or playing a video game or whatever, and out of nowhere Seagal's voice going, "two governments inside a government" will pop into my head and make me laugh
That blonde woman is TOTALLY 100% CORRECT in disbanding Seagal's stupid team. This movie is so bad that it made me side with the soulless agency bureaucrat! 🤣
@@iche9373 Seagal still pretends he is an invincible martial artist. He's actively trying to deceive you and me. It's more deceptive than other action movies, because Seagal plays the same character in real life. He also enjoys sexually assaulting women and spouting propaganda for authoritarians like Putin and Lukashenko. He gets zero sympathy from me.
@@raymason9907There are good movies that have been made for under a million. $12m is beyond hilariously, insanely ridiculous when you consider there was no one famous, no US shooting locations, cheap special fx that could literally be done in one day and royalty free music. That’s basically it. You can hire an editor for this type of movie for a few thousand bucks or even nothing if some Eastern European editor is looking to build a CV.
Watching this made me realize that he wouldn't need to be a better actor to make a better movie. He'd make a decent villain, if he wasn't such a moron and was willing to do that.
This movie was filmed in Manila, Philippines. The local news at that time treated Seagal as a "Hollywood Actor" even tho he's not into major mainstream movies anymore. He even had a courtesy call to the Philippine President and the Armed Forces of the Philippines as if he is a foreign Military envoy.
Seagal is not a "Hollywood actor" anymore. Not since the late 1990's. Nobody in Hollywood hires him to star in actual Hollywood movies. Because nobody wants to work with him. He has an awful reputation with women. And he has physically attacked other actors. Which pretty much got him blacklisted by every major Hollywood studio. Anyway, Seagal finances his own movies. And he makes millions from DVD sales. Because there are millions of boomers (old people) out there who can't get enough of watching that lard-ass Seagal pretending to be good at kicking ass. Despite the fact that its pretty obvious that Seagal is too damn old and out of shape. Anyway, spread the news in your country that Seagal is nothing but a fraud. People need to know that he's nothing but a clown.
He’s 110% serious. I think a big reason he does this is so he can touch , kiss , and do sex scenes with women that are like 25 years younger then he is
@@lunatik3395 You are probably right! He doesn't care about film making, just anything that will cater to his profound ego. Dude's on another planet 😂😂😂😂
@@jessickalush3305 dude I know 😂😂 It’s actually so bad now he even refuses to remember his own lines , so they literally have to dub a voice over for him in his own movies 😂😂😂 You can’t make this shit up lmao. The guy is like a living meme.
He never knew how to make a good movie. Probably because he told everyone he's in charge. After that, they let him try doing his movies without help, and eventually every movie he made was a complete idiotic flop, in my opinion.
@@lamehomer yea, it's basically that I've never watched a full movie of his, maybe 5-10 minutes at the most. Back when his movies were advertised or at Walk in theaters during the first showings etc, there was always other options and chose the other than segal movie for some reason, he didn't seem like a talented actor from small clips I'd seen in past. I definitely love action packed movies, Stallone, Norris, jcvd, swartzenjager, but of course those actors were extremely talented.
As a VFX artist, I love the shot at 8:17 where they didn't even bother to composite anything into the top-right screen. They just left it with the green screen and tracking markers. Brilliant filmmaking skillz.
No, no, no. You don't understand. They did DEEP research and they found that intelligence agencies always leave one screen green and with tracking markers in order to calibrate the HUD that's built into the agent's special contact lenses. Segal movies are just SO authentic, it actually throws people off.
To be fair , the minimal amount they paid for the VFX-guy its almost a miracle, that he even made something like this. They probably paid him a burger or a beer ;) - and he just wanted to try out some photoshop after effects, or something ;)
3:20 doctor here. I hate to say it, but that part isn't BS. Cleaning the chest with Iodine isn't to prevent infection, it serves to prevent microganisms from the skin contaminating the heart during removal. But since he isn't in scrubs or covering his hair or in a sterile field, the contamination is basically guaranteed anyway... but hey, whatever... back to the movie
The lunch buffet opened and it was chicken wing day. They saw that Seagal fell asleep in his chair so they all left quietly, one at a time, so they didn't wake him. That's the only way they'd have a chance at getting lunch before he demolished the spread!
These Space Ice videos are some of the greatest mood lifters in the history of time. The bit about the guy going back to sleep after receiving the death threat was absolute fire. Well done, good sir!
I can't believe I just came across this channel.. I don't think I heard the name Steven Seagal in over a decade, and it reminded me of how bad his movies really were lol this channel is gold.
Surprised you didn't comment on how they squished the aspect ratio on all of Seagal's interior scenes in an attempt to hide how fat he is. Instead, he has a head with roughly the proportions of a butternut squash.
I can’t express enough how grateful I am for the Steven Seagal movie recaps. I laugh so loudly that my dog comes to see if I’m ok. Please keep them coming!
I actually feel sorry for the actresses and actors in these movies. Having a role in a seagal -movie is probably one of the most humiliating, emberrassing thing that can happen to a human being.
Lol, yes, those other actors and actresses were forced at gunpoint with their families held hostage. They didn't get a script, read it, accept the part, and then willingly sign a contract or anything.
I was fighting depression over the years, life had a tight grip on me, I often felt like oxygen left my lungs everytime i tried to breath, the pandemic made a lot of changes in my life, the inflation, even my wife departed from my side as I struggle to keep it together, some friends came for aid at times, but my ambition and lack of determination polluted the air between us, fridge was almost always empty, grey Beard hairs started to show, job applications denied, i was truly lost, and then this review comes up and changed my life, nothing can't be as bad as this movie, my will to live is restored.
Keep up the good fight brother. You deserve to feel like a winner. No matter what monumental screw ups you have been involved in they shrink to insignificance compared to the abomination of desolation that is the movie output of this serial dreck merchant. Log may Space Ice serve the cause of humanity at large by highlighting the fate of those who lose sight of their own absurdity. I truly believe that Seagal's career was allowed by God as a warning to us all.
I HIGHLY doubt that they were thinking about this, but they would want to make sure that the heart doesn't get infected when it's getting pulled out of the body.
The initial 5 minutes of this video is just genius comedy and delivery. The remark about the iodine and the precation for the victim don't get a infection when they are taking his heart off is amazing. This channel is pure gold!
The iodine scrub would actually help prevent procedure related contamination of the donor heart. It needs to be transplanted after all. They got one part right. Credit where credit is due :)
The part with the guy who puts iodine on the guys chest when they’re just going to straight cut is heart out and kill him anyway had me crying for a couple minutes - how was this film even made ??😂😂
Even stupider than that cutting the heart out of a living person with blood pressure will cause a massive mess. Everyone in the room would be sprayed with blood. No way you could see what you're doing when the entire chest cavity fills with blood in seconds after cutting through the first artery.
To be fair, it happens so often that now I can't even to get to sleep without first recieving a threatening phone call stemming from a failed assassination attempt.
Just stumbled across this channel yesterday. These videos are absolutely hilarious, especially the Seagal ones. This channel deserves far, far more subscribers.
I feel so bad for the rest of the cast in these disasters. This is really worse than dinner theater or doing commercials. You can tell they are so embarrassed to be there. Like this is the best their agents can do?
Yea, I think the actors and actresses were thinking about how bad the situations were while working but, did anyway because they're getting paid anyway. Just My opinion.
"unable to hit the morbidly obese man standing in front of him" I laughed so hard at that.. Seagal's movies are just next level lol. In order for this scene to happen the movie requires you to believe that someone would be stupid enough to try to take a few guys armed with guns with a knife, and that said guys would let one of em fight him up close instead of shooting him lol.
Even worse, the movie wants you to believe he's trying to run away, decides to come back, and decides to put down his gun, and somehow has trouble hitting a morbidly obese man who is lethargic and breathing through his mouth as bending over is difficult.
For the past 22 years, Steven Seagal has only made Comedy movies. Just a problem he doesn't know it yet! The title of his new 2025 movie will be: "Meatball Operation Green Beret"
One great thing about bad movies are those critics/parodies. Not only you saved us from watching the crappy movie but also provided us with a good laugh 😂. I thank you sincerely for your work
Eyyyyy. I was on the set of this movie. They used my motorcycle - a Royal Enfield to be Mica Javier's main mode of transport. I gotta say, the car explosion at the bridge was fun and confusing. I remember looking away when the thing decided to explode. The button was pressed but the explosion came in late lol. The bomb experts are baffled by it ahahaha. I remember seeing Seagal in real life and most of the time "he" is on screen it was actually the double, and the final bridge scene at Jones Bridge, Manila, he got out the car, do some shenanigans with some blades, pretend to stab the guy and walk away so he could catch his breath. His body double wears a fake belly! ahahahah btw, the warehouse scene/setting is where we all hang out when they're not using it lol I was in the set for more than 8 hours a day so they can roll the camera on my motorcycle for 5-10 seconds. Still got paid though, so the time I spent bored on the set is worth it hehe. One thing I really hate is when I specifically told Mica not to put her helmet over my tank as it could scratch it and she did not only put her helmet over it. she slammed the helmet over it. I guess the scratch marks are now her "autograph". They also removed my DGR moustache sticker on the headlight and THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO DO THAT! The camera didn't even show my bike's headlight! Just google Mica Javier General Commander and the first photo you'll see her in a motorcycle was my bike. that scene in the photo is in a hotel in BGC where we get to spend most of the time staring at Seagal's double and hear him mumble over a glass of whiskey. Another true story. While the crew is setting up the car to flip over at the bridge and some actor name Jai or something catch his breath from countless retake in his running and shooting at an imaginary helicopter scene, a motorcycle came rushing in to middle of the set, there is the driver and the passenger - no helmets, barefooted. What they didn't know is that the whole of Jones Bridge and the vicinity is closed to the public and the police is in every entrance and exit. The rider and his passenger were apprehended when they arrived at the end of the bridge and saw us, and the camera crew hanging out, and ton of police who were standing and ready on the roadblock. turns out, the motorcycle they're riding is stolen. That was the first time I saw a real cop draw out his gun from his holster. There were about 20 of them there. the thief almost got away if not with one police who fire a warning shot.
Man, I hope they reimbursed you for those tank scratches. This is not one of those movies where you'd be honored to have your bike scratched from its production, haha.
@@travislee9662 if it's "two governments inside a government" then that's 3 governments, 2 inside of 1; 3 total. Turduckhen is the only conceivable reference here, there's nothing like that in any other context & you can't tell me Seagal has never heard of Turduckhen; the fk he hasn't.
I feel like that scene where they’re in the room where Seagal fell asleep is a real scene but they edited out what it was for. This was the actors and actresses first day on the set and they just discovered they were casted for a Seagal movie and many of them sobbed as they realize they’ve been lied to and their careers over before it even started.
I can only watch one of your vids a day, because my chest hurts from laughing too much. Bravo, these are exactly what I've been needing. I want you to narrate my life story at my memorial.
I like how at the knife fight he uses a ghurka knife and still somehow manages to stab the guy with it. Not to mention a knife fight where you use a knife like a sword which is absurd
Not habit, just plain stupidity. You only form habit doing the same thing to the same object, like driving a car. You don't accidentally shave a woman's head bald as a barber, for example. Surgery requires you to be fully alert while performing it, not running in auto pilot in a trance jerking out muscle memory, that's insanely stupid
There was a time I admired and respected Steven Seagal but then I found out so many things about him, heard his interviews with his responses and I see the man he is today and I can honestly say the respect is out the door. Then I saw an interview with John Leguizamo and for those that know what happened on the set of the movie called executive decision yeah
Bro he's literally a shit human being...look up all the stunt men and actors he's hurt..women he's assaulted and times he's bashed America..the last part was recent..look it up, he's pro Russia/Putin.
@@Stash_box That's because it's a true story esp. the girl who jumps out of the large cake and goes back inside all on a Battleship because Jesus isn't there to protect her.
jesus christ that speech at the beginning… i have no idea how that lady with the yes/no question kept a straight face through that entire thing. she earned whatever Seagal was paying her because i would’ve burst out laughing
She probably filmed her scene without Segal in the room - he was at the craft table. So some stagehand was reading newspaper articles and she was just nodding her head. Then they edited in Seagull's inane rant.
Steven Seagal is a hybrid between a serious, non-satirical Michael Scott and Kung Fu Panda. Really surprised nobody has approached him for a live action Kung Fu Panda role, there's nobody better for the role.
If you look at who Seagal was involved with, talking some shady crime families and bosses, profit wasn't why these cookie cutter movies were made. It's good old money laundering where "they" can have some reason how they got their money. All cost are inflated like Seagal's ego and all services/ makers/film/actors are, bingo... owned by them.
at firts he was literally used by a mafia group for money laundering, the channel "Goldenbell Training" has done a really nice 30 min video recapping his career if you are interested
This was easily the most entertaining movie I've watched in a long time. My stomach hurt so bad but it was worth it. I was rolling for three-quarters of the movie. Funniest film I've seen in over a decade. 10/10
3:15 you know what's REALLY DUMB about this scene? No one in that building, not even the bad guys, knows what the undercover agents look like, or that there even are undercover agents in the building, so if they would just walk in a group and act like some tourists and stop playing Rainbow Six up the stairs, well, it would essentially eliminate the whole need for urgency cause they'd freakin be up the stairs already... ❤❤ love your works, Space Ice. Never stop doing what you do, because we freakin love you, dude! The laughter you provide is cathartic, to say the least. Thanks, man!😊😊😊
Yes and he doesnt have the range, the agility, personality, likeability, relatability, appearance or any ability really. Just a fat head full of delusions.
Tom Cruise takes his work seriously but it's different between work effort that makes both of a whole different category. Tom actually gets into his role and has a an actual script including actual acting skills plus in shape.
Seagal has reached that point in life where his profile view is wider than his frontal view. Only few artists can claim such an achievement. Give this man an Oscar for his wide body of work NOW!
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and censorship free videos: patreon.com/Space_Ice
Your voice sounds soooo sore in this video lol
Your Seagal reviews are the funniest thing i have ever seen on You tube
100k SUBS Bro B A S E D !
N this is the 3rd time I watched this one 😆
Me, my brother, my dad, our friends, have become obsessed w your videos man. None of us have laughed this hard in ages
getting a death threat by Seagal and just sleeping it off is absolutely hilarious
Unintentional documentary moment.
Bruh the this hulking figure simply moving is going to destory your house with an earthquake
Well yeah, wouldnt you? Pretty sure I would hear him coming 1/2 a mile away. My bedside water glass would have those impact tremors like in Jurassic Park. Plus he moves so slow I would feel like I was Matrixing him.
Well he must've reckoned he'll be fine if he stays on the second floor and cuts the power supply to his stairs lift.
Also very realistic lol
I hope Steven makes more movies because I'm addicted to these reviews.
You me both buddy
You me both 😅😂
Yeah his reviews are hilarious. F this and STUPid f Ing movie he says things off the wall lol 😂
Well hes got a good 30 or so more to choose from... and I'm sure even at 70 years old seagal still has more in him, he has many legal bills to pay off.
@@Chronix- you forgot he likes to grab actresses butt in live set movies and say it’s part of the act. Not only that, he loves grabbing assistant’s private area in the trailer where there are no witnesses and tell them it’s part of the job interview.
I agree. Thank God Steven has a ton of straight to DVD movies, so we should be good until Steven decides to make more flicks.
"Seagull is worried this movie might still be watchable". Best line ever.
😂😂
I don’t know if this is true but this is iMDB trivia for this movie:
“When producers ran out of money, they offered to pay for Seagal's salary with daily McDonalds meals during shooting and for a full semester after the wrap up party. They only paid for two more months, and Seagal took Martinez to court. The case was settled for an undisclosed amount of Big Macs.”
I was unable even after multiple searches to find anything relating to this, so I think it's a hoax. I so want this to be true though so anyone reading this: please, prove me wrong lol
@@lyndislegion287 dudes obviously trolling
@@lyndislegion287 GOTTTT’EEEEMM‼️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This needs to be true.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
“General Commander” must almost be the most ludicrously vague + generic title ever.
These Seagal movie reviews are some of the best riffing on Seagal.
skinny steven segal is still the man.
especially when he breaks arm's.
Facts 🎯😆😆😆
Stephen Seagal, the gift that keeps giving.
steven knows his heyday is over
but keeps going an going like the
energizer bunny.
you think he's finished then another
movie pop's up.
Lol
The fact that Seagal actually fell asleep and they didn’t bother to take the time to re-edit the scene is astounding. This is top notch filmmaking right here.
Re-editing probably wasn't in the budget 😁😁
To be fair he really tried to act in this and that tired him out
Can you give me the time stamp for that scene
@@flahboi 6:01
@@Deadman1000 thanks bro
So they all quit the CIA and work for seagal's "company" then at the end they suddenly work for the CIA again?
top notch writing
Putting this much thought into this might cost you more braincells than you were ready to loose
There's a reason why you switch off your brain before watching shit movies
@@josephbassey1501 LoL its already happening. You said loose instead of lose. Well my brain is lose too..I mean loose.
@@thediaz07 quick!
Drink some salt sugar solution
Maybe it'll stop the quick decline or just watch another Steven seagal movie. If you watch so much stupid shit, your brain will adapt
They reconsidered after a few seconds and I cannot complain at it
Iahet skkabhla stevban see ga
I will be randomly doing something, either working or playing a video game or whatever, and out of nowhere Seagal's voice going, "two governments inside a government" will pop into my head and make me laugh
Same lol
That's a Deep State doing a Deep Throat.
That just happened to me. I just randomly said it.
Because its the truest thing he ever said...
Laugh while you can bro because we all know it's just a matter of time before Sensei Seagal snatches your mutherfucking birthday!
"The bad guy realizes he's in a Steve Segal movie, and nothing has to make sense." Had me dying
"2 governments in a government" response had me In tears
😂😂😂
DYYYYING!
Does he mean state governments?
He just found out about the Senate and House of Representatives and really wanted to share this little known fact with his boss.
@@santanu-fr he's riding the deep state train
That blonde woman is TOTALLY 100% CORRECT in disbanding Seagal's stupid team. This movie is so bad that it made me side with the soulless agency bureaucrat! 🤣
Lol her voice echoing while Seagal is looking sad/constipated/emotional crippled is awesome.
Lies again? Harvard Heineken Heart
Yes, Seagal's team sucks, I agree, but it doesn't justify any Ableism from you.
@@iche9373 Seagal still pretends he is an invincible martial artist. He's actively trying to deceive you and me. It's more deceptive than other action movies, because Seagal plays the same character in real life. He also enjoys sexually assaulting women and spouting propaganda for authoritarians like Putin and Lukashenko. He gets zero sympathy from me.
@@iche9373 To whom/what are you referring? Stupid, emotionally crippled, something that's been deleted/edited?
The budget on this movie was 12 million. Someone laundered A LOT of money here....
I think they lost all the money on Thai and Cambodian hookers (Seagal lost it)
Black Dynamite had a budget of just under 3 million, and that was so much better. Then again, this is a Segal movie
@@raymason9907There are good movies that have been made for under a million. $12m is beyond hilariously, insanely ridiculous when you consider there was no one famous, no US shooting locations, cheap special fx that could literally be done in one day and royalty free music. That’s basically it. You can hire an editor for this type of movie for a few thousand bucks or even nothing if some Eastern European editor is looking to build a CV.
Or for School Girls
@@Bigedub101 Yum
The scene where Seagal did not move is probably his best acting performance ever.
Watching this made me realize that he wouldn't need to be a better actor to make a better movie. He'd make a decent villain, if he wasn't such a moron and was willing to do that.
Seagal -
"Real ninjas don't have to move a lot"
@@JohnDoe-in9lc or possibly he did move but it was too fast for us to see.
@@muesli_snipes Once he did that on Machete
Actually thought he looked on top of his game, was starting to wonder if he received acting lessons from Uwe Boll for this one.
This movie was filmed in Manila, Philippines. The local news at that time treated Seagal as a "Hollywood Actor" even tho he's not into major mainstream movies anymore. He even had a courtesy call to the Philippine President and the Armed Forces of the Philippines as if he is a foreign Military envoy.
Seagal is not a "Hollywood actor" anymore. Not since the late 1990's.
Nobody in Hollywood hires him to star in actual Hollywood movies. Because nobody wants to work with him. He has an awful reputation with women. And he has physically attacked other actors. Which pretty much got him blacklisted by every major Hollywood studio.
Anyway, Seagal finances his own movies. And he makes millions from DVD sales. Because there are millions of boomers (old people) out there who can't get enough of watching that lard-ass Seagal pretending to be good at kicking ass. Despite the fact that its pretty obvious that Seagal is too damn old and out of shape.
Anyway, spread the news in your country that Seagal is nothing but a fraud. People need to know that he's nothing but a clown.
Well, he is Putin's personal, elite bodyguard :))
yup, looks like it was filmed in the "ber" months.
Oof, Philippines... we all know what goes down there with lady boys. Tsk tsk Steven
@@quantumuniversetvinc.6117 You mean.. Thailand? Because that's what Thailand is known for. Not The Philippines, but.. okay.
I don't know if it's funnier if Seagal's trolling us or if he's serious with these movies
He's the most delusional person on the planet, and had no sense of humor. He's dead serious.
He’s 110% serious. I think a big reason he does this is so he can touch , kiss , and do sex scenes with women that are like 25 years younger then he is
@@lunatik3395 You are probably right! He doesn't care about film making, just anything that will cater to his profound ego. Dude's on another planet 😂😂😂😂
@@jessickalush3305 dude I know 😂😂
It’s actually so bad now he even refuses to remember his own lines , so they literally have to dub a voice over for him in his own movies 😂😂😂
You can’t make this shit up lmao. The guy is like a living meme.
@@lunatik3395 I started hacking with phlegm after reading this
"Now they arrest them right? Fuck no! They just start executing everyone!"
My favorite quote 😂
It’s in his inflection, the mix of exasperation and sarcasm.
"Money laundering scheme known as Steven Seagal's movie career" lol, laughed so hard at that 😂🤣
Career *
@@dakotasunday8996 *career
That's how you act like a proper grammarfuhrer
Haha 😂
Ugh....I love carriers
@@dickdiamonds3410 all right, it should have been career, happy.
This somehow manages to look like a high budget and low budget movie at the same time.
High budget :D? Cause of the modern cameras :D???
He never knew how to make a good movie. Probably because he told everyone he's in charge. After that, they let him try doing his movies without help, and eventually every movie he made was a complete idiotic flop, in my opinion.
@@sammyhooligan803 you just summed seagal up in that single sentence
@@lamehomer yea, it's basically that I've never watched a full movie of his, maybe 5-10 minutes at the most. Back when his movies were advertised or at Walk in theaters during the first showings etc, there was always other options and chose the other than segal movie for some reason, he didn't seem like a talented actor from small clips I'd seen in past. I definitely love action packed movies, Stallone, Norris, jcvd, swartzenjager, but of course those actors were extremely talented.
😭 like making koolaid with Off brand sugar
As a VFX artist, I love the shot at 8:17 where they didn't even bother to composite anything into the top-right screen. They just left it with the green screen and tracking markers. Brilliant filmmaking skillz.
Didn’t even notice this the first time around but that’s hilarious 😂
No, no, no. You don't understand. They did DEEP research and they found that intelligence agencies always leave one screen green and with tracking markers in order to calibrate the HUD that's built into the agent's special contact lenses.
Segal movies are just SO authentic, it actually throws people off.
I'd notice that in any other movie, but there's just a baseline of shit in Seagal movies that it looked completely like it should have been there.
That's a shout out to the SFX fans...
To be fair , the minimal amount they paid for the VFX-guy its almost a miracle, that he even made something like this. They probably paid him a burger or a beer ;) - and he just wanted to try out some photoshop after effects, or something ;)
3:20 doctor here. I hate to say it, but that part isn't BS. Cleaning the chest with Iodine isn't to prevent infection, it serves to prevent microganisms from the skin contaminating the heart during removal. But since he isn't in scrubs or covering his hair or in a sterile field, the contamination is basically guaranteed anyway... but hey, whatever... back to the movie
Cool story bro..
You fool.... No it f***ing does not.
Still interesting!
So, it's not to prevent an infection, but to prevent microorganism contamination, AKA "an infection". Do you write for Seagal?
Sounds like you did it once or twice doc. Seagull is calling you ..
LOL at the part where seagal apparently slept in the chair
🤣
The lunch buffet opened and it was chicken wing day. They saw that Seagal fell asleep in his chair so they all left quietly, one at a time, so they didn't wake him. That's the only way they'd have a chance at getting lunch before he demolished the spread!
oh my God! That part had me pissing my pants. I liked when the narrator suggested that the actor thought he was in another movie. lol
Amd none of them realised it....
I'm sure Seagal thought that his complete STILLNESS during the shot was a show of his acting skills
I laughed so hard my eyes started tearing when the guy went back to sleep after Seagal threatened him😂😂😂
7:28
Honestly, most realistic part of this movie lol
Lol
Also, why does a high-ranking CIA member sleep alone in a twin size bed?!?!
@@TheHound402 AAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAH!!!
makes it look like Seagal was nothing but a prank caller 🤣
"This country, that betrayed me sooo much..is why i feel betrayed..." impeccable writing😂
Seagal discovered the concept of cause and effect. “I had a big meal that made my stomach full. This is why I’m feeling full”
Amazing writing
Written by Kamala Harris
"Everyone betrayed me, I fed up with this wurld!"
That whole scene just sounds like Bert Kreischer making shit up in a podcast lol
These Space Ice videos are some of the greatest mood lifters in the history of time. The bit about the guy going back to sleep after receiving the death threat was absolute fire. Well done, good sir!
I can't believe I just came across this channel.. I don't think I heard the name Steven Seagal in over a decade, and it reminded me of how bad his movies really were lol this channel is gold.
Surprised you didn't comment on how they squished the aspect ratio on all of Seagal's interior scenes in an attempt to hide how fat he is. Instead, he has a head with roughly the proportions of a butternut squash.
lolololol
This is the most hilarious thing I read all day.
They did that in A Good Man too. There are shots where the female lead looks like Slenderman's sister as a result.
I can’t express enough how grateful I am for the Steven Seagal movie recaps. I laugh so loudly that my dog comes to see if I’m ok. Please keep them coming!
Dogs are the best aren’t they😊 even while laughing that indicates you’re not in any sort of bother they pop in anyway like ‘you good?’ Love em🙈😂
heheheheh
What's even funnier is I know of people who would gladly actually watch this movie
My Labrador did the same, ended up laying on the floor by my side for two episodes. Best regards
I've been listening to them at work and people see me laughing my ass off. They think I'm weird. They are right 👍
I actually feel sorry for the actresses and actors in these movies. Having a role in a seagal -movie is probably one of the most humiliating, emberrassing thing that can happen to a human being.
Lol, yes, those other actors and actresses were forced at gunpoint with their families held hostage. They didn't get a script, read it, accept the part, and then willingly sign a contract or anything.
And probably a career killer.
Pays the bills dude
@@azhiaziam0717 Steven Seagal threatened to kill their mother and dog if they didn't take the roles
@@timothymorrell4754 but most of them turn of the light and just sleeping over it
5:57 Seagal falling asleep during filming is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen.
I was fighting depression over the years, life had a tight grip on me, I often felt like oxygen left my lungs everytime i tried to breath, the pandemic made a lot of changes in my life, the inflation, even my wife departed from my side as I struggle to keep it together, some friends came for aid at times, but my ambition and lack of determination polluted the air between us, fridge was almost always empty, grey Beard hairs started to show, job applications denied, i was truly lost, and then this review comes up and changed my life, nothing can't be as bad as this movie, my will to live is restored.
Steven Seagal has saved many lives with his brilliance and wisdom
If Seagal can find funding and other actors for his movies, then truly anything is possible in life.
If not a joke, glad ur feeling better bud. Amazing how such horror restores ones faith in life
Thank Goodness for Space Ice and Life Alert.
Keep up the good fight brother. You deserve to feel like a winner. No matter what monumental screw ups you have been involved in they shrink to insignificance compared to the abomination of desolation that is the movie output of this serial dreck merchant. Log may Space Ice serve the cause of humanity at large by highlighting the fate of those who lose sight of their own absurdity. I truly believe that Seagal's career was allowed by God as a warning to us all.
“Two governments inside a government!” He sounds hungry when describing that! 😂
Slathered in sludge sauce.
"you're cutting his heart out you idiot! why are you worried about him getting an infection?" had me rolling! 🤣
I HIGHLY doubt that they were thinking about this, but they would want to make sure that the heart doesn't get infected when it's getting pulled out of the body.
@@jquest99 yeah I know... but his reaction was hilarious!
@@jquest99 That's what *I* was going with. But, I didn't want to give an SS movie any credit for any undeserved logic.
Would they use a retractor to spread his chest open?
Seagal is probably thinking, "I guess it's just the kind of thing surgeons do. I don't understand this sh*t"
The initial 5 minutes of this video is just genius comedy and delivery. The remark about the iodine and the precation for the victim don't get a infection when they are taking his heart off is amazing. This channel is pure gold!
The iodine scrub would actually help prevent procedure related contamination of the donor heart. It needs to be transplanted after all. They got one part right. Credit where credit is due :)
“Two governments inside a government “
-Steven Seagal
"How can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?"
Its sad when people just get that way.
@@Mister_Clean my brain just melted.👌
So, he means there are three governments in total?
@@Ruosteinenknight trying to make sense of crazy talk.
The part with the guy who puts iodine on the guys chest when they’re just going to straight cut is heart out and kill him anyway had me crying for a couple minutes - how was this film even made ??😂😂
💀 scrolled way too far to find this comment
@@LizardSkin haha same fml
Also why is the "surgeon" wearing a mask lol he doesn't need to worry about bacteria from his mouth entering the open wound
@@MrDaveJustice But he could sneeze on the heart. Gotta keep your product clean if you want returning customers.
Even stupider than that cutting the heart out of a living person with blood pressure will cause a massive mess. Everyone in the room would be sprayed with blood. No way you could see what you're doing when the entire chest cavity fills with blood in seconds after cutting through the first artery.
To be fair, it happens so often that now I can't even to get to sleep without first recieving a threatening phone call stemming from a failed assassination attempt.
He’s literally the same character in every movie 😂😂
He's the rock but in a way more fucked up and weird manner
@maxk880 well at least the Rock can take hits or at the very least take funny and demeaning roles unlike sensei fat walrus.
Just stumbled across this channel yesterday. These videos are absolutely hilarious, especially the Seagal ones. This channel deserves far, far more subscribers.
I’m actually very surprised Seagal let someone else shoot the helicopter down.. usually only he gets to make the big moves
Too hard to shoot missiles while sitting in a chair
We all know those 9mm rounds did most of the damage. The RPG was not really needed.
upvote this shit ahahahah
at least the helicopter didn't get shot down with a handgun like some Time Crisis crap!
@@scottwebb4722 time crisis 😂
I feel so bad for the rest of the cast in these disasters. This is really worse than dinner theater or doing commercials. You can tell they are so embarrassed to be there. Like this is the best their agents can do?
They might be thinking their acting career has finally kick started since theyre working with a well- known hollywood movie star..
A paycheck is a paycheck.
If you can get work you take it. A career making shitty vehicles for faded action stars is still better than what most actors can hope for.
Yea, I think the actors and actresses were thinking about how bad the situations were while working but, did anyway because they're getting paid anyway. Just My opinion.
bills aint gonna pay itself
"Read the room, Bro. We're all emotionless tree stumps here!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 brilliant!!!
"unable to hit the morbidly obese man standing in front of him"
I laughed so hard at that.. Seagal's movies are just next level lol. In order for this scene to happen the movie requires you to believe that someone would be stupid enough to try to take a few guys armed with guns with a knife, and that said guys would let one of em fight him up close instead of shooting him lol.
Even worse, the movie wants you to believe he's trying to run away, decides to come back, and decides to put down his gun, and somehow has trouble hitting a morbidly obese man who is lethargic and breathing through his mouth as bending over is difficult.
Remember. Seagal is a master of Bullshito.
For the past 22 years, Steven Seagal has only made Comedy movies. Just a problem he doesn't know it yet! The title of his new 2025 movie will be: "Meatball Operation Green Beret"
One great thing about bad movies are those critics/parodies. Not only you saved us from watching the crappy movie but also provided us with a good laugh 😂. I thank you sincerely for your work
I binge on Seagal movies he's the best ever. Especially code of honor. Probably the best movie ever made
Seagull calls himself ''General Commander'', because ''Admiral General'', was already taken by Sasha Baron Cohen's ''The Dictator''.
He's now working on "Comrade General"
@@agdgdgwngo general comrade general.
Nah now he's the Specific General Minimal General
His real Surname is Goldberger.
ua-cam.com/video/fuChbUDjIX8/v-deo.html he is dumb ape and terrorists abetto
Eyyyyy. I was on the set of this movie. They used my motorcycle - a Royal Enfield to be Mica Javier's main mode of transport.
I gotta say, the car explosion at the bridge was fun and confusing. I remember looking away when the thing decided to explode. The button was pressed but the explosion came in late lol. The bomb experts are baffled by it ahahaha.
I remember seeing Seagal in real life and most of the time "he" is on screen it was actually the double, and the final bridge scene at Jones Bridge, Manila, he got out the car, do some shenanigans with some blades, pretend to stab the guy and walk away so he could catch his breath. His body double wears a fake belly! ahahahah btw, the warehouse scene/setting is where we all hang out when they're not using it lol I was in the set for more than 8 hours a day so they can roll the camera on my motorcycle for 5-10 seconds. Still got paid though, so the time I spent bored on the set is worth it hehe.
One thing I really hate is when I specifically told Mica not to put her helmet over my tank as it could scratch it and she did not only put her helmet over it. she slammed the helmet over it. I guess the scratch marks are now her "autograph". They also removed my DGR moustache sticker on the headlight and THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO DO THAT! The camera didn't even show my bike's headlight!
Just google Mica Javier General Commander and the first photo you'll see her in a motorcycle was my bike. that scene in the photo is in a hotel in BGC where we get to spend most of the time staring at Seagal's double and hear him mumble over a glass of whiskey.
Another true story. While the crew is setting up the car to flip over at the bridge and some actor name Jai or something catch his breath from countless retake in his running and shooting at an imaginary helicopter scene, a motorcycle came rushing in to middle of the set, there is the driver and the passenger - no helmets, barefooted. What they didn't know is that the whole of Jones Bridge and the vicinity is closed to the public and the police is in every entrance and exit. The rider and his passenger were apprehended when they arrived at the end of the bridge and saw us, and the camera crew hanging out, and ton of police who were standing and ready on the roadblock. turns out, the motorcycle they're riding is stolen. That was the first time I saw a real cop draw out his gun from his holster. There were about 20 of them there. the thief almost got away if not with one police who fire a warning shot.
Thanks for sharing
man, that was wild
Man, I hope they reimbursed you for those tank scratches. This is not one of those movies where you'd be honored to have your bike scratched from its production, haha.
@@whcw11 hahah they didn't!
A thief on a stolen motorbike riding through a movie set sounds way more interesting than the entire plot of General Commander
Seagal gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "I'm sitting this one out".
I can't tell you how happy I am now that I've found this channel. Freaking epic commentary.
I just realized Steven's movies are so deep that most of us, normal people, can never be able cope with nor comprehend.
Speak for yourself.
The "two governments inside a government" was legitimately incomprehensible; government Turduckhen is all I got...
@@LIONTAMER3D government Turduckhen lol
@@travislee9662 if it's "two governments inside a government" then that's 3 governments, 2 inside of 1; 3 total. Turduckhen is the only conceivable reference here, there's nothing like that in any other context & you can't tell me Seagal has never heard of Turduckhen; the fk he hasn't.
@@LIONTAMER3D yeah he’s definitely putting away a Turduckhen on Thanksgiving🦃🦆🐓
When he said Seagal didn’t move because he probably fell asleep I cried for 2 minutes 😭😭
Literally tears are flowing from my eyes which is rare.
I was surprised he hadn’t had a heart attack
@@TuriyanGold Well, watching Segal movies WILL turn you into the same emotionless stumps as the actors in the movies.
"This whole thing, is never brought up againnnn" that kills me every time
I feel like that scene where they’re in the room where Seagal fell asleep is a real scene but they edited out what it was for. This was the actors and actresses first day on the set and they just discovered they were casted for a Seagal movie and many of them sobbed as they realize they’ve been lied to and their careers over before it even started.
Him asleep in the chair was the best acting he's ever done. They probably cut the scene short when he farted in his sleep.
Steve's Goatee alone is pure comedy
It's so bad lol
And that's before you look at that dodgy hairline!
@@capablanc 😅😅
"Entenmann's donut goatee"
Probably thinks it covers up his multiple chins.
I can only watch one of your vids a day, because my chest hurts from laughing too much. Bravo, these are exactly what I've been needing. I want you to narrate my life story at my memorial.
Dude , the way you explained every scene … I’m laughing to the core.. and people in my family think I have gone crazy 😂😂😂😂😂
Your statement just reveals your ableist nature
I like how at the knife fight he uses a ghurka knife and still somehow manages to stab the guy with it. Not to mention a knife fight where you use a knife like a sword which is absurd
I doubt whether seagull can differentiate knives from swords, in any case.
Took inspiration from Resident evil 4 probably
@@MICHAELTUMANGDAYThat moment when you could be playing RE4 instead of watching this crap
I wonder how many breaks they had to do for the action scenes because seagal would constantly run out of breath from standing up
He's a legend in his own mind 🤡
That surgeon putting iodine before trying to take out the heart is hilarious. Why is he even doing that when the person will die anyway.
Force of habbit i guess
Not habit, just plain stupidity. You only form habit doing the same thing to the same object, like driving a car. You don't accidentally shave a woman's head bald as a barber, for example. Surgery requires you to be fully alert while performing it, not running in auto pilot in a trance jerking out muscle memory, that's insanely stupid
@@NitpickingNerd It's his lucky knife I guess
Cuz it's a seagal movie
Be glad they didn't let a "Get well soon" balloon on his hand
'Fuck it, nobody's still watching this movie anyway'
Siskel and Ebert couldn't have said it better.
This whole thing had me laughing. I didn't realize just what a comedic genius Seagal was before this.
Seagal is the ultimate troll. Hasnt left character once in over 30 years.
@@henrlima87 I like his movies after 2003 the best because they are stupid/fun😂
That feeling when a video criticizing a movie gets a higher score on rotten tomatoes than the actual movie
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Man this guy really has it out for Steven Seagal lmao
No his films are horse 💩
"This time... *its personal* (then he grabs another Seagal DVD)
Easy target to pick on
Nobody likes the guy so we can all jump on the hate train together
@@93Beefcake I know people who like his movies....and they are family 🤣😭
@@malafakka8530 I do like a small selection of his movies.
"Why is it called general commander?"
"Yes."
“One of them remembers they have a rocket launcher in the back”
Holy shit that was hilarious!😂
There was a time I admired and respected Steven Seagal but then I found out so many things about him, heard his interviews with his responses and I see the man he is today and I can honestly say the respect is out the door. Then I saw an interview with John Leguizamo and for those that know what happened on the set of the movie called executive decision yeah
Bro he's literally a shit human being...look up all the stunt men and actors he's hurt..women he's assaulted and times he's bashed America..the last part was recent..look it up, he's pro Russia/Putin.
Seagal is still a megastar, a living god, in Russia and eastern Europe.
@@swissmilitischristilxxii3691 along with Hulk Hogan, Pee wee Herman and Pauly Shore.
Dude cant even act. He just looks tough
@@thediaz07 LMAO at this comment!
A career made of unwatchable movies, what a legend
Under Siege was pretty good
Hard to kill and above the law were good
@@Stash_box That's because it's a true story esp. the girl who jumps out of the large cake and goes back inside all on a Battleship because Jesus isn't there to protect her.
And it's all funded for by the Russian Mafia
@@wheresmycheese8511 lmao no
Hahahahha!!! "Your cutting his heart out. Why are you worried about him getting an infection."
The guy just slept off Seagal's threat like it was not a big deal 😂😂😂
Dude keep these coming, your commentary on these shitty movies is gold. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Well if Segal keeps sleeping on the job and has a Big Mac on the side why not?
jesus christ that speech at the beginning… i have no idea how that lady with the yes/no question kept a straight face through that entire thing. she earned whatever Seagal was paying her because i would’ve burst out laughing
Ya it was very deep...government stuff..didn't get it💭
She probably filmed her scene without Segal in the room - he was at the craft table. So some stagehand was reading newspaper articles and she was just nodding her head. Then they edited in Seagull's inane rant.
Bro I legit came here for the commentary but stayed for the comments. These seagull roasts are top tier.
The knife waving at each other had me dying 🤣 💀
He literally doesn't move the entire time! "He probably fell asleep and nobody noticed" was the best line ever. 😂
That interview at the beginning is the best annunciation Seagal has done throughout his entire career.
Man it was so good I thought it was dubbed
right? that’s the clearest we’ve heard him talk in years 🤣
Steven Seagal is a hybrid between a serious, non-satirical Michael Scott and Kung Fu Panda. Really surprised nobody has approached him for a live action Kung Fu Panda role, there's nobody better for the role.
This films budget- $12,000,000
What it made in the box office- $69,000
Seagal walked away from his investor with a cool $5 mill. Business plan... REVENGE!
hooray for tax write offs and other financial fuckery
69..NICE
Step 1: Make Movie
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Profit!!!
(not provided by Eastern European/Russian backers...wink...wink!)
If you look at who Seagal was involved with, talking some shady crime families and bosses, profit wasn't why these cookie cutter movies were made. It's good old money laundering where "they" can have some reason how they got their money. All cost are inflated like Seagal's ego and all services/ makers/film/actors are, bingo... owned by them.
I've always wondered how and why Seagal is able to continue making these movies but this is why. Thank you sir!
at firts he was literally used by a mafia group for money laundering, the channel "Goldenbell Training" has done a really nice 30 min video recapping his career if you are interested
Rubbing iodine on his chest😂😂😂😂I’ve literally been laughing for 3 minutes straight
"but forget that too because they do know where he is. He's at home" OMFG I'm dying laughing.
5:55 😂😂😂 he literally falls asleep in the scene 🤡
grandpa nap
He got bored in an interrogation scene that he wrote himself 🤣
'And the guy just goes back to sleep' i'm dying 😂😂😂
"And this money-laundering scheme known as Seagal's Movie Career keeps on moving along." 😃
"Guess this Steven Seagal movie, with one hint: Its the worst movie he ever made"
"Bruh you're really gonna have to give me more than that"
5:55 obviously they noticed, but that was best acting they could get from him
I cannot get enough of these Seagal rips! I don’t think anyone in the world does a better job at it,I love this channel!
This was easily the most entertaining movie I've watched in a long time.
My stomach hurt so bad but it was worth it. I was rolling for three-quarters of the movie. Funniest film I've seen in over a decade. 10/10
10 minutes into the movie and this guy getting hit in the nuts is the smartest thing that has happened.
“Morbidly Obese man” part had me literally in tears 😂😂😂😂😂
3:15 you know what's REALLY DUMB about this scene? No one in that building, not even the bad guys, knows what the undercover agents look like, or that there even are undercover agents in the building, so if they would just walk in a group and act like some tourists and stop playing Rainbow Six up the stairs, well, it would essentially eliminate the whole need for urgency cause they'd freakin be up the stairs already...
❤❤ love your works, Space Ice. Never stop doing what you do, because we freakin love you, dude! The laughter you provide is cathartic, to say the least. Thanks, man!😊😊😊
The problem with Seagal is that he takes himself too seriously.
I believe he is a master level troll
70 years old and obese, and still in character after 30 years
It would work if he actually looked the part. I think if he lost a lot of his excess weight he would do pretty well with these movies.
Yes and he doesnt have the range, the agility, personality, likeability, relatability, appearance or any ability really. Just a fat head full of delusions.
@@Dan-di9jdThen he hears Space Ice’s voice as his own: “Aww **** it. Who cares? No ones watching anyway.”
Tom Cruise takes his work seriously but it's different between work effort that makes both of a whole different category.
Tom actually gets into his role and has a an actual script including actual acting skills plus in shape.
This is gold. Total gem channel my guy.
"So he waddles his way into a dramatic knife fight, that goes just how you'd expect" 🤣
Segal is like that guy you always hear cool stories about as a kid, but once you get to know him…
This is exactly what happened to me. Not that I met him but I grew up. 😂😂
Seagal has reached that point in life where his profile view is wider than his frontal view. Only few artists can claim such an achievement. Give this man an Oscar for his wide body of work NOW!
You can drop the "of work". 🤣
"We're all here to see how terrible and lazy the action scenes are... and SEAGAL DOES NOT DISAPPOINT."
Lmao omg dude.
If I were still 8 years old this movie would have blown me away
And I always thought Seagull was a serious actor, boy, was I wrong
Never cared about Seagull movies, but I tought the same as you of him, until I found this channel.
Seagull sucks lmao. His movies are always low budget
USED to be. But that time has LONG passed.
2 3 early movies are fine
The only thing serious about Segal is his cholesterol levels.
I’m legitimately surprised he didn’t just shoot the helicopter until it exploded…like in his other movie
“im pretty sure he fell asleep and nobody noticed “ 😂😂😂😂😂