Pregnant Mormon NOT MARRIED | When I was Mormon | Mormon adoptions
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- Опубліковано 27 жов 2022
- When my Bishop asked me to give my baby up for adoption i felt sick. I don't understand how a church can preach family and ask you to give your kids up for adoption.
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Nothing more than bigotry against others who believe differently. I’m glad you guys are listening to what’s right for you and your family. Sending love ❤️
I’m glad people are speaking out on these kinds of thing I feel like it’s more common then people realize
Especially in that church.
These “leaders” should be utterly ashamed. Thank you for talking about this publicly. There is no excuse for their abuse of power!
Agreed. and thats why I'm gonna help bring these issues more into the light. Their abuse needs to see an end
@@WhenIWasMormon for too long they have enjoyed being free from actual criticism. Those days are over.
@@lisapurplehayes Yes they are and their sins will be shouted from the rooftops as said in the Bible.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It cannot be easy to share these things on a public forum. I find you videos very heartfelt and honest. I am also going through a crisis of my own. It is good to know that I am not alone.
Your not alone and this channel and I will always be here for you to hopefully give you and others peace
imagine suggesting someone not married "forever" give their baby to a family that has been meaning their child would be with another family during this life and forever after? that's a next-level kind of entrapment and/or gaslighting of someone. Good time to go. . . .
Thank you both for sharing this story. SOOO important for these stories to be told to help other in or to avoid similar situations!! Keep up the great work!!
I was a single mother when I adopted my sisters son. We were attending church and I had recently attended the temple when our bishops wife came for a visit and told me that I needed to give my son whom I just adopted up for adoption just because I was a single mother and he needed to be raised by both a mother and a father. We never went back to church after that.
I don’t blame you. I am however proud of you! Im glad you’re out!
I am so sorry for members who are in crappy wards and stakes. About twenty five or so years ago a single woman in our ward adopted a baby girl then later a baby boy. She had the full support of our ward and that is how it should be.
I placed my girl for adoption under the Mormon LDS social services. Nothing panned out as I was told. I was told one thing, & as soon as I left hospital, I struggled badly. There isn’t enough words or time to explain. One thing I can say, they LDS were not forth coming about the process, & as time went on it became more clear the stigmatization that I was labeled as. I was healthy, had a family that supported me, but I was single mom & dad was not in the picture. The one of many intimate conversations I had were based around I never wanted her to feel she was abandoned and how hard this was. I walked away social services when I realized at the time the judgment was demeaning. When I thought it was the most beautiful and greatest selfless moment I did that day.
When I they closed agency, & there was no notification to the us/mothers and there was suppose to be continuous updates once a year. They told me they were told they can not take my letters and can’t partake in and help.
Needless to say, the one Vow I made like most mothers you want your children to have better than what you had. The church did a disservice and dropped the ball to many mothers out there. I lost a lot of trust and respect that day. Her spirit has always been alive in our family & I have two grown girls that have always known they had another sister. This did not need to be a negative situation. I’ve always held in my heart that she knows or will that she has a whole family that loves her & she has lived the fullest life.
It still doesn’t subside the empathy that I feel each day knowing that she does not know circumstances and god, from depths of my soul I never wanted her to ever feel that she would feel abandoned or that I did not love her enough…
So heartbreaking my dear. I wish it could have turned out as well for you as it has done for the young lady who blessed my nephew and his wife with a beautiful baby girl. They are all friends to this day.
I understand about judgemental families and environments. I'm 70 and the world was a lot less forgiving decades ago. Glad it is getting better for you. 🤟🏼
What most people don't realize is that it wasn't just in the Mormon church, that is just how it was no matter what religion or no religion. I am 68 and I remember well. As a mother and grandparent I can't imagine acting like this. I would fight for my daughter and her baby.
My sister at 20 got Excommunicated for getting pregnant out of wedlock. She hadn't gone through the temple. Just exed cuz she was carrying an Innocent soul. Sad. It messed with her mind.
that’s so sad 😞
I am so sorry.
Shelly love won! Christ himself, who IS love, our creator, NEVER said anything like your dad. He NEVER gave ANYONE a questionnaire to see if they are "WORTHY" for him to lovingly bless.
The CHURCH is Freemasonry Redo and you escaped with a loved husband and child. Your escape may lead the way for others to follow love. Your probl e m was NO ONE you spoke with has a clue what that TRULY means. You guys are champions. Don't throw Jesus away tho. He really is love.
This hit home in so many ways. That last line, I live my life better than you.... that's why we don't hang out. The version I heard from my parents and family is almost identical. Crushes a lot inside of a person and that's what they want. To hurt you so bad that you'll come back. Thank you for sharing y'alls story. Means more than you know to a lot of us
We’re not gonna stop either, we’re gonna hang all this dirty laundry out to dry so we can heal. Just know you have a people and we are here for you
This has to be one of the most offensive things I have ever heard. To counsel someone to give up their child because they’re “not worthy” and to her brother and sister in-law like unwed moms are some sort of baby factory. It’s disgusting.
It’s one thing if she didn’t want to be a mom. If there were health or substance abuse issues making it difficult for her to parent, or if she was even concerned about money (though with how much money the church has that should never be an issue for members IMO), but not when just think you’re bad based on our moral standards.
When I was pregnant with my first at 19 years old, me and his father were living together but not married. So when the local bishop found out (he was not my own bishop) he came to my house and tried to convince me that I was being selfish for denying this innocent soul a fair chance of an eternal family.
He said he already had a perfect family and he had already talked to the couple and they were "willing to take my baby".
I cannot tell you how incredibly disturbed I was. Of course I said no way, and I thought that was it,of course it wasn't
This man kept coming over. He even stopped me on the street once when I went out for a walk around the neighborhood
I felt so harassed and violated
@@lizzyp174 OMG!! Talking to another couple about giving your baby to them! What about asking how the Church can help instead??
@@dianethulin1700 No one in the Mormon cult church will be the help that they truly need because they are a greedy corporation who calls themselves "a Church"
@@dianethulin1700 no kidding
So authoritarian to just assume that this bishop can just decide what is best for everyone and that I would just do it.
Disgusting
Especially the thought that he believed I didn't deserve this child, but the other couple was more worthy of it.
Total Handmaid's Tale type of 💩
@@lizzyp174 Not to mention what an invasion of your privacy that was! I work in health care and can tell you if I breached somebody's privacy like this I would be fined and fired! I had my son when I was almost 40 years old- out of wedlock! I left The Church in 1981 so didn't even trip about it. I just found out a few weeks ago that my mom thinks I was a bad parent bc of that! Like what??? My son's father died and it was hard but I did it! (he is 24 now). My sister who abandoned her children to foster care and dispapeared for nine years is who my mom thinks is a better mother! So Flippin Crazy!
These leaders are abusive and utterly contemptible. Good thing this woman was strong enough to walk away.
I was 17 when I got pregnant with my highschool sweetheart. I went to LDS family services for a while and did group therapy. I met a very nice couple looking to add to their family but I just couldn't choose them. I ended up placing my son with my LDS aunt and uncle who couldn't have anymore kids. He's 13 now and still apart of my family. Just within this last year they divorced so the idea of a forever family and the whole reason I placed him for adoption broke apart. My church shelf broke around 19. I had to reevaluate how it was still the best choice for him and me and his dad. We were too young. If I was an actual adult with a job, I would have kept him. He's my cousin and knows I'm his birthmom and he may be a punk teen now but I know he loves me. 😅
If it’s a choice you’re making for you that’s totally understandable. It’s when they make you feel like that’s the only way that’s completely wrong. I’m glad you worked it out so you two are still in each others lives, sounds like you guys are close
@When I Was Mormon yes and no? My parents tried to get us married 1st and that wasn't going to happen per the dad's side of the family. Immediately his mother said "adoption" I did feel pressured. My mother told me they would not help me with the baby at all. That everything would be up to me to figure out (childcare etc) then heavily suggested hey your aunt and uncle have been praying for a boy (they had 2 girls one adopted) and it seemed like divine intervention. Scared and feeling alone and not supported I chose adoption and within my family so I could see him often. I did want him but didn't know where to go for help and assistance while I finished highschool. I still think I made the best choice but still have regrets knowing what I know now.
Your story is heartbreaking. At the same time you and your husband forging through this together is so awesome. You escaped a cult together. Classic romcom! 😉
Haha thank you! We’ve actually thought about trying to do a romcom episode lol
Mormonism. Been out two years. Still haunts me.
Glad that you’ve escaped “the Church”. I’m a recovering ex-Mo myself, and looking at it from the outside, it is obvious just how toxic it is. It is definitely NOT what it claims to be.
I’m glad you made it out!
OMG, I so relate to this…
My ‘problem’ though is to love and be with a same-sex partner.
I know I will never be enough because I didnt follow them and their misery.
I am much happier AWAY from them and their BS… where church comes first than your own BLOOD. I will never understand that.
I do believe that the church also destroyed my family and I stand by that! Very toxic and long-live healing process.
Wow I don’t know how to react…. Like a cliff hanger man.
I honestly didn’t know they were THIS off the rails! I’m glad for everyone that that has been able to get away from the teaching of the Mormon church. Check out a pastor I recently found on UA-cam, “Rev Ed”!❤
Biggest guilt trip organization in the world. I was nothing but sad and depressed as a member of that church. I’m so much happier now. This video makes me angry for the way she was treated.
@@markmitchell2297 I’m so happy for you, getting out! I d hope you’re okay now. ❤️✌🏻
@@markmitchell2297 it is rule by control, shame, and guilt. Just remember, you CAN choose not to be ruled, not to be controlled, not be shamed, and not feel guilt, because you choose to live differently. NONE of that is LOVING!!!
What is the second part to this episode? I can’t find it!!!
It’s coming! The episodes title will be (A Letter to my Brother). Iv been working on it for a while. But it’ll either be the next episode or the one after. So soon!
@@WhenIWasMormon oh! I thought it was done, no problem then. I will be patient 😂
I love your work!!!
The greatest gift a baron couple can ever be given came from a sixteen year old LDS girl who knew she couldn't care for her baby. This young lady got to pick the parents to be and she chose my nephew and his wife. They even got to be there when this sweet little tyke was born. They are all still friends to this day. I hope you don't think all of us are like those you have encountered and I am so happy that you guys were able to work things out and be together as a family.
most stories aren’t like the one you just told. they’re more like mine. i don’t think all of you are like that but the fact remains that even if you CAN take care of the baby, they don’t want you to if you’re not worthy aka not married in the temple. and then use their ‘priesthood authority’ to try to scare you into giving the baby to a”worthy couple”. i’m glad it worked out in your case but that’s the only one i’ve heard that’s actually worked out that way. mine was traumatic and most are. the church makes it that way. great for the couples who get the baby. not great for the person who’s coerced into giving it up, especially when they don’t want to. i understand each case is different but most of the women i have spoken with about this have very similar stories to mine. i’m happy i have my family too. i couldn’t imagine giving them up.
@@WhenIWasMormon I know that what you are saying is so true and so heartbreaking. I do wish they could all go as well as it did in our case. I am so sorry for the suffering you and so many others have experienced.
thank you. i only wish i can make it stop. no one deserves it and i feel so horrible for all of the women who suffer because of this. thank you 🫶🏻
@@WhenIWasMormon Agreed.
Take responsibility for your own actions. It’s your choice to keep or give up your child
Pretty sure I did..? Like wuuut?
Igual tienes que responder si eres casado o no.el bienestar del bebé está por encima
I am married to my sons father. I will try and address that in future videos
wow. Jesus wept....
…
Traduce con suso porfis
The church is SOOOO toxic !
Agreed
I am certain the church has caused more harm than good in the lives of the majority of its members, right up to the top and has destroyed more families than it has helped.
I 100% agree. Even if someone has never been a member of The Church, all they have to do is read through the members' comments in some of these videos, and it soon becomes crystal-clear how looney-toones this religion makes them. For example, take the Mormon Stories short-video (about the temple) where the interviewed girl (I can't remember her name) talks about how Satan tells people to put on their aprons, and then everybody does it. I can't believe how many members have flooded the comments-section of that video saying that it's a lie and never happens. And then when we list the actual dialogue, they STILL deny it. You can't even throw cold hard facts in their faces. If that ain't proof of what a brainwashing destructive cult this is, I don't know what is. I always love reading your posts Maven. You rule!
@@mylesmarkson1686 It's not like that! LOL! It took me a minute to understand what part of the endownent you were talking about! Your comment just makes me more sure of how people's accounts of the facts can not be fully trusted! Wow!
@@LaraMalbran Thanks for proving my point Lara!
@@mylesmarkson1686 Have you been to the temple? How many times? Satan asks people to put the aprons and than we do It? That's not what happens! If it were I wouldn't even comment on this. If you attended the temple you really didn't get It! If members have commented on this it's not denial...It is just not how It goes. You could have chosen 100 things that members live in denial about, but this is simply not accurate!
@@LaraMalbran You are just too precious. You're like the gift that keeps on giving. Bless your pretty little brainwashed head!
I’m not Mormom but they seem like actors.
😂😂😂
trauma can come across dead-pan.
I can guarantee, they aren't. I have my own story of how people are treated. Believe me, mormonism is not pretty.
they aren't actors as much as indoctrinated. Straying from the guidelines is NOT permitted.
Yes, it’s true that her bishop might not have handled her out of wedlock pregnancy in the best way, such as not bothering to ask her what her own intentions were concerning the pregnancy. However, please keep in mind that these men do not have training in these social issues; rather they are asked to accept the “calling” as bishop, or leader of the congregation, for 5 years, on average. They only mean to convey goodness and kindness and caring and concern for the well-being of those they’ve been asked to have stewardship over, usually congregations of 300 people or more. Remember that bishops have their own full-time 40 hour a week careers so that they can support their own family of wife and children, and they do not get paid for their service in the Church. Between being a husband, father, career person, and bishop, they have almost no time left for themselves. Being a bishop is only for those who are strongly grounded and emotionally stable, because they have to lead so many needy people. So, the position deserves respect. These are not perfect men, and they were never trained at a theological school. The best training they got is while they were a kid growing up in their families they were born into, and the experiences they had while on their 2 year missions in a foreign country or a different state. They are just doing the best they can with the experiences they have, and they are certainly not perfect! They do love God and Jesus, though, and that is the reason they do all this service with no monetary compensation. They put in lots of hours of service each week because they care about the people in their congregations, not because they don’t! I can assure you that the “old men” in the photo have all been bishops before, as well as stake presidents, who are in charge of leading about 7 different bishops and their congregations, which calling is also a lay position (not paid), and that requires several hours each week of service. So, don’t belittle these “old men” in the photo, please. They are all wonderful men, who have led exemplary lives, and Church members believe they are Jesus Christ’s 12 Apostles, similar to the original 12 apostles whom Jesus called to follow him, from the New Testament times. They are all very kind, and each one is a grandpa, known the world over!
I’m sorry your experience with your bishop caused you so much trauma!
I do know he meant well, especially for the little innocent one. He was just trying to help to make sure that you felt ready to be a Mother, and in the case you weren’t, he could provide help and resources. And remember that every bit of funds the bishops have available are there because of caring members who love Jesus Christ gave 10% of their income (tithing) for the good of His Church and its people.
I can tell you love your child and you want the best for her/him, so please try to rest easy about this. It will all be fine.
The way it was handled was disgusting and gross. Kinda like this laundry list of excuses for the churches behavior. And I rest just fine knowing I’m exposing a cult for what it is
You are right that leaders such as Bishops or Stake Presidents are lay clergy who do not receive salaries; however, you are aware that out of a select pool of Stake Presidents/Some Former Stake Presidents around the nation, a 'call is extended' from the Church Headquarters in Salt Lake City to be a mission president, and from that calling upward into 'Seventies/Area Authorites'; all the way up to the 'Quorum of the 12' and 'The First Presidency' (AKA: The Quorum of 15) a salary is received from the church, which those authorities refer to as 'a stipend.'
Deb, your comment is asinine! Defending a broken system and gaslighting this girl on her own video is just as disgusting! 😡
Deb- while his intentions may have been positive, he was following the church written bishop's handbook in what he did. You are not privileged to such handbook because you are female. There are countless stories much like theirs out there. Stop defending a broken system and toxic religion.
@@justamom863 you don't "mean well" and tell people things like this.
I just need to emphasize that we are not “mormons,” we are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and that this truly, truly is a Church lead by God.
😂😂😂
That’s your take on this story? Bwahaahahahahhaahahaha proving the church insane