sam, my experience and yours have many parallels. I was born flds, left home at 16 in 1998. Your story of the family taking you in touched my heart. I am grateful for them and the love that they showed to you. The transition on your own can be pure hell for some. I was the first from my family to leave. My departure was hasty, I told no one and didn’t even leave a note. I left one Sunday afternoon with $10 in my pocket, no phone, no car and nowhere to live. It was a very rocky few years to get somewhat comfortable on my own. I wish I could hug the amazing people that took you in and loved you as their own. Thanks for sharing your story.
Mind if I ask where u are now? Not "where" obviously, but how ur life is going? It's hard even on the "outside" to move forward with nothing. I know I'm a stranger but I'm proud of u. I've been through my own complete transformations and it's not easy.
Carljessup2612 I sincerely hope you have found real purpose and happiness in life. Your comment was 2 years ago and your comment pulled on my heartstrings. Possibly because I left home at 16 but for very different reasons. I found out I was pregnant 3 days before my 16 birthday and my father took me to an abortion clinic and I had locked myself in the bathroom until the clinic closed. Pretty much knew I was on my own after that. But I thought I knew everything and was grown up and ready for the world. Reality set in fast.
About hugging, try to remember that people who have been abused, sexually, emotionally or physically are not likely to be comfortable with hugging. It's best to ask if they are okay with a hug.
My mum was like this. She didn't like being hugged (and still doesn't). Then she gave birth to a happy hugger (me). She says I gave her tight hugs even as a baby - it used to amaze her and somehow baby hugs were fine for her. Although she is still uncomfortable with hugging in general, she still accepts and expects my hugs 😀.
@@carissafisher7514 why? Why should they have to learn? I’ve never been abused, but I don’t like hugs. I only hug my daughter and even she sometimes is like no thanks. Hugs aren’t a need in the world. 🙄
I had a two week period of sexual harassment from two school mates+ creepy teacher. And a year earlier a kid stepped over my boundaries and I have issues with touch of any kind. Not fun, trusting anyone is kinda hard, just imagine having the sight of one the guys in street. Instant panic. The other one, also one who harassed my brother, creeper (ah!). Confirmed my own feelings. Oh, also, as a 15 years old kid, I had my own expression of affection through hugging. If I trust you I hug, tease and let you pick me up (one of my closest friends, my older brother from another mother) and be annoying to the point of confusing people *we're a couple* but we're not. He's my beard, if I can say this.
Hair tutorial!!!! Please!! More with teffy doing anything. I find her absolutely intriguing. So glad to have the privilege of listening to her and you guys too
Can't even tell you guys how much empathy I have for you!! I grew up a Jehovahs Witness, and there are so many parallels....(without the polygamy)!! I walked away from the witnesses and am now considered an apostate...sounds so similar! Sending love!!!
Same! I left at 24 and it was hard because I had no friends or family anymore. People don't realize we weren't allowed to have friends outside the religion
My ex left the witness when he was 14 and would never go back he won't even let our child near a kingdom hall, like he lost his shit when his sister asked if she could take our child I've never seen him like that before.
My grandmother was ex communicated from Jehovas witnesses becshe refused to marry who they suggested. My mom was 12 and it shook her. So sad. That was all they knew.
Imagine some male supposed prophet who never did his own laundry telling the women to do their laundry with one hand. As if they didn’t have enough to deal with doing laundry for dozens of kids and their husband, now do it with one hand! The clear mark of rules being set by detached men who don’t ever truly have to abide by the nonsense they put on others.
It was interesting to see that your sister still has an accent. You can hear it when she speaks as with Sam he doesn't seem to have an accent at all. Great video and enjoy seeing the relief that you are now free from your religion. It is almost like someone being released from jail and learning to live in the real world.
I love Tephi and Sam's spirit. Rebellious, respectful, loving. Amazing people. I've just found your channel and am learning so much about the community and really admire how kindly you talk about your family and friends, even though they're unable to continue that relationship as that loss is huge and could easily turn someone's heart hard.
(Melissa Responding) Thank you so much! You are so sweet! We are hoping to have her on some more videos soon! It was so much fun to get to film with her! =)
Sam is so respectful. Recognizing that it must have been hard on the “mothers” Even though he’s left, he speaks with such respect. I admire the depth and growth.
After listening to this video, it would be great to have a video featuring the brother that Sam left with. Seems like the 2 of them went through a lot together, so it would be interesting hearing from him, if possible.
aw seeing Teffy give Melissa a pouf would be so fun! Thanks to your sis for coming on and sharing her story, I hope she joins you guys for more vids in the future :) I was one of the people who asked about hair before and I thought her answer was really interesting
So glad I clicked this video. Fascinating and y’all are so brave!! Who was the first sibling in your family to leave?? How did they muster up the courage without knowing anything about the outside?? How did they know it was not bad outside flds? I can’t imagine how scary it would be leave your family and everything you know when there is NO ONE on the other side to help you out.
Hi Mai! One of my older brothers was the first one to leave. He had left even before it I was born. It is very difficult to have to leave family behind but fortunately for him, back in those days, those who left were still aloud to go back to visit. He also had a lot of friends that left about the same time which was good for him.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy There is a spiritual community I think it is in England that reminds me of FLDS and they encourage young people to all take a year in the 'outside world' before committing to living the rest of their lives as a person dedicated to the community. Seems to me that having people consciously take a year away from the community for all young people as part of the discernment process makes sense. Also, it sounds like the current leader who is jailed created this 'ostracizing' of people who leave but prior to this people were still able to go back to visit. Did the current FLDS leader in jail create all the prohibitions about if a member leaves then community members including immediate family is supposed to shun you? Seems like if people could go to the 'outside world' to live and work for a year, and then could continue having the love and acceptance of family whether you choose to stay or leave the community then there wouldn't be such ripping apart of family bonds. It also seems like all those 'banishment' of people to leave their family to go and 'repent' for their sins that this also breaks up families. Seems to maintain the strength of family bonds through unconditional love and acceptance would be better than estrangements.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy your oldest brother, Kevin, he used to work for my dad, and he left your family while he was still working for dad…also he is my neighbor, here in Missouri,and I am also your cousin..loved hearing your experiences..💙❤️💙❤️
So interesting. Love your sister and am eagerly awaiting Melissa’s makeover! That will be fun to watch. There’s still so much to learn in this world and I’m already 70yrs. (That happened fast!) ❤️🙏🏻🤗
Yes! Hair tutorial on Melissa!!!! Great first interview. I hope she does more. Your sister is beautiful and is very brave to share her heart the way she did. You both always share in the best interest of others because you care for your family and it really shines through. That must be so hard to not see them regularly.
My question is home births. Was there any deaths of moms or babies? How was home births handled? Were they expected to nurse their babies or were they not allowed to nurse their babies? What about the monthly periods? And were you able to take daily baths or showers? I'm really glad you guys are doing these videos because it makes us more comfortable and compassionate towards those who were born and raised in these communities. 💖🔥
Lots of questions: 1. What does your sister do now? 2. Why did your father leave? 3. Why did your mother need help? 4. Didn’t WJ expect no one to be intimate .... even married people? If this is true we’re there no more babies? 5. How many siblings did each mother have? How many have left? What are they all doing? 6. What happened to the mothers and children left behind? If the father left .... who provided for them? 7. Were people punished for breaking rules? What type of punishment? 8. Do you miss anything from the community you left? 9. Do you cook the same meals and/or the same way as you did? Is there anything you do the same? 10. What did they say about the siblings who left before you?
I would love to see Teffy show the hair styles! 💞 This was such an interesting interview! Looking forward to hearing more from Teffy! Thanks for sharing!
Hey 👋🏻 new viewer here from Scotland 🏴 , watched a few videos now and I must say you and your siblings are really brave to leave the only life you knew into the unknown , I’m so happy you both are sitting telling us your story , thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
Wow! I would so love to compare notes with your sister. I went from LDS to Catholic and my LDS experience was very sheltered and closed off from “the world” and from a large family, then was dropped off at college having no idea what to expect from the world. And the loneliness factor I absolutely get!
Our LDS family was more like this FLDS family than perhaps many LDS families. We were very sheltered, if we left we were ostracized, we were raised with the knowledge that we'd get married and have lots of kids, the boys would serve missions and girls would go to university only long enough to meet a returned missionary. We weren't allowed to associate with anybody not LDS and certainly believed they were "bad" people, who didn't know the truth and were therefore inferior. If the definition of cult comes down to how easy is it to leave, and are there repercussions in your relationships for leaving, then how I grew up was very cultish. I believe now that it's a very fine line. I left at a young age, was Christian for a while because being religious felt right, then left that and am happier honoring my inner truths than having them spoon-fed to me by yet someone else who believes their beliefs are superior.
This was so interesting and informative. I really enjoyed listening to it. Especially hearing these things straight from the mouths of the people who lived this life rather than just clips paired with dramatic music.
As a mama, I am heartbroken to hear about families disowning other family members. In orthodox Christianity, we believe God’s church is a place to receive grace and also a vessel of healing and grace for the world. God bless you all for your honesty and transparency ✝️🤍🙏🏻.
Have always been fascinated by those intricate hair styles. Would so love to see a tutorial! Btw, you all are so lovely. Thank you for sharing all you do. 🤗
Yes I would love to see your sister style your wife in the Flds style that would be great! I would love to see more of your sister and hear from her. Seems like it’s so hard for her to talk/express herself!
I thought it was so funny for her say that she "bounced".... I never expected her to use urban slang with a Southwestern suburban accent. 😆 🤣 Super cute girl too, you can see the family resemblance.
I totally understand how your sister had a lot of the burden taking care of the family as a girl. Being number 12 of 14 I saw a lot of that on my older sisters even though we were not a strict family at all. We were raised lutheran but we were raised as normal as possible considering the circumstances. All of us went to a private lutheran school till 8th grade and then went to the public highschool. So I think we were well socialized. We were raised in NY on a big 83 acre farm. It would probably be interesting to see the comparison of being raised in FLDS vs being raised in another religion. I was a total tomboy and got to play with my brothers out in the woods. I think my upbringing was overall great. I feel bad for my kids now because they don't have a lot of siblings to play with like I did. I just have two kids and we don't plan on having anymore. They have over 20 cousins but they are living all over the country. We live in Las Vegas so they don't have the woods like I did growing up. There are Jewish families in NYC who also have large families. I think that would be a interesting video.
Can Teffy talk about the issue of dating after leaving the FLDS church? I imagine that had to be a huge culture shock! I am super curious to hear what she has to say.
Listening to you talk about never learning to swim because you had to do it fully clothed brought back some interesting memories of me. We did swimming lessons through school as kids and, once you learned all the basic swimming techniques etc, the more advanced classes for older children included basic lifesaving skills and things. One of those classes involved turning up fully dressed in heavy clothing (jeans, woollen jumper, shoes, etc) and going in and swimming like that. Because it’s one thing to be able to swim properly with an unrestrictive, light swimsuit on, but it was also important to learn to cope if we accidentally fell into or had to jump into a body of water fully clothed. I can’t imagine trying to do that if I didn’t have the foundational skills first.
This is such a great video. You should do more videos with other siblings and their experiences in the FLDS. That would be awesome. I always re watch your videos.
Oh Gee Wow! I really like Taffy (apologies the spelling). I wish her so much happiness and love and kindness and hope she gets to create a family of her own on her terms. Be courageous ❤️
Don't hold back! I understand not wanting to slander anyone, but don't be afraid to share your experience. People need to know the truth about it, and realize it's not what God wants.
Omg this was so great thank you guys for making this video with your sister. Yes I think she should do a hair style tutorial that would be fun. You guys are so amazing 🤩 I love ❤️ all your videos! You should have more of your siblings come on are share their stories of leaving the FLDS.
Teffy is beyond gorgeous and super strong! I would love to hear her share more of her story!! Making a hair/getting dressed tutorial in the outfit that she left home in could be totally retraumatizing. If that's the case then I DON'T want a tutorial video. But IF Teffy feels comfortable walking Melissa through a hair and/or getting dressed tutorial, I would absolutely watch it.
Hope to see your sister again! She seems sweet and her story is so fascinating…and she seems so mellow about it but I know that was a lot of turmoil to learn and figure out who you are and how you fit in when it all feels so socially awkward to communicate in a world you were sheltered from and the life you were taught and manipulated into believing as the only truth. Happy you have a good support system.
The questions I feel that are unanswered.. what is your sister doing now? Boyfriend? Married? What does she love about her freedom, how does she spend her time? Did she or does she having any PTSD? Another video after life at the FLDS is favorites...food? Fast food? Sit down Restaurant? Coffee? Hobby? Store? Or a this or that kind of video. It’s interesting from going from no choices the world of choices and what they choose to enjoy.
What’s Normal? I’m sure without sounding demented that you all have to personally weigh in on this all the time. You’ve experienced so much and that could battle your own sanity. I’d probably have to pick and choose what I’d even want to think about much less who I could share what with. You’re really very bright and beautiful people and I hope the survivalist in each of you will always be kind and merciful to each of your own souls! It’s a big thank you for being brave and strong enough to help the outside understand but your bond with each other is a crucial factor it seems to your own adjustments! No one knows like you know, good bad or indifferent! So much love to you all Sincerely!
Thank you for being so open and honest. The culture you grew up in is so radically different from the culture that I grew up in. Answering a lot of questions I’ve had thank you very much.
I grew up there too. And it sounds like my family was wildly different from yours. For one thing, we hugged each other, and our parents hugged us. We of course didn't wear red, because it's sacred, but black was not a thing. Everyone in my family wore black. The boys wore both black shirts or pants, and the girls wore black denim, or leather jackets. As a girl, I listened to the home ec trainings on my own, because I wanted to. No one ever made me, or said I had to. And we (the girls) did lots of things for fun. We'd go on hikes, or picnics, or just for a cruise around town in the evenings, after dinner when the children were in bed. I think maybe it was so much different for girls in my family because my age group was almost all girls. With just 2 boys.
Thank you for sharing your experience! How old were you when you left and what year did you leave? I’d love to learn more about your story! Did anybody else leave within your family? I have so many questions if you are willing to share!
@@TheKatarinaGiselle When I was 22 I was really struggling to follow all the rules. Like, REALLY struggling. And I was told I needed to be separate from my family members that were actually following the rules. So I moved away from my family, and kind of drifted from there. It wasn't really one day, or moment. And yes. I do have siblings that left. 3 brothers and 1 sister.
@@cllovegood omg so im just finding this channel, binging it and of course seeing what others say in the comments and I look up and my maiden name was Katlyn Phillips 💜 so random 🤣🥰
Teffy’s accent FASCINATES me! My husband (whose first language is not English) thinks she just sounds Southern. But being Southern myself (from southeastern U.S.), I don’t think it’s quite Southern. It’s just ~different~ and hard to peg. Lol. I guess it would stand to reason that a very isolated sect would have a very one-of-a-kind dialect. Utah/Mormon accents, in general, are very interesting and unique to me. Hard to imitate. Lol
I live in Utah, Melissa and Terry’s accents are really great examples of the main stream Utah accent vs the FLDS accent. It seems like the FLDS have their own way of speaking because they’re so secluded from the rest of the area. As a mainstream Mormon living in the Salt Lake area I’ve only met maybe 2 FLDS people and had interactions with them, but we know they’re around the state and see them around once in a blue moon. They seem keep to themselves and like to interact with other FLDS more than talking to people outside their community so I can see that creating it’s own accent.
I met a man recently who I was certain was from Utah. When I asked him about his accent he smiled and indicated he'd been asked before. Turns out he's from an area of Pennsylvania where many of the early converts came from.
@@T3rsky Interesting! Yes, I think the Mormon accent has lots of influences from the early days and different areas that Mormonism caught on. It's such an interesting accent.
I love to watch this stories. His sister looks happy and healthy. I’m curious about what FLDS still wearing garments as Mormons (LDS). Keep up more stories. 👍🏻
You guys are great! My background is completely different but I enjoy your channel and you’ve answered so many of my questions that I didn’t even know I had! I find it so fascinating and eye opening. Keep making the videos! Thanks
I can imagine (in addition to the emotional and social pressure) because the girls don’t always have access to paying jobs, or GEDs, it is financially and physically difficult to leave. The boys has the advantage of earning money, getting work experience, and buying vehicles to give themselves a way to leave.
@Vintage Farm Lady I’m sure a few families and communities might have worked that way, but that’s likely a gross over generalization of the lifestyle and culture. I have a friend who is a former “cult” religion member similar to FLDS, and she said no girls in her community we’re married before 18, because they were all expected to go on mission trips starting at 18 for at least 2-3 years before starting a family.
Thank you for sharing your story -- a few questions -- if nobody is getting married -- what are the young adults doing ? Are they leaving or living the single life ? Also in your home, since there were so many children and you mentioned ironing the clothes -- did the children have their own clothes or since so many similar in age , did everyone that clothing size just choose an item? For example, I know of another large family, they had one clothing closet with everything on a rolling rack based on size / gender. thanks!
Just saw this answered in the last video I watched, they each had their own section of the wardrobe and had their own clothes. Lots of hand-me-downs, but the women of the family just seemed to know whose clothes were whose ☺️
I would like to know about the time “The Law” came in to investigate and took lots of women & children for questioning & investigations. 2008, so pretty long ago. Did either of you experience this? What was said about it? Did many people leave after? We’re myths & stories told about it afterwards? Making these videos is super brave, I admire all your strengths. Thank you!
This is so wonderful!! How fun to see you and your sister! Thanks for joining! Also, I’d love to see a hair tutorial and any like morning routine or day time ritual vlog style videos. Maybe a FLDS cooking show? I dunno. I just love learning about your journeys!
It was nice to virtually meet u Teppy. Not sure if the spelling is correct but that’s how it came across the screen. Hopefully u will come back & talk with us some more about ur childhood & the way u were rait
Omg, please make more videos with her! Also any other former members, or family. It’s super interesting to learn about the different experiences. Whether because of gender or mothers, etc.
Hello i am in South Africa and would like to first say Thank you for being so open and wonderful in sharing your stories. I find this so interesting and its amazing to learn about this topic as we have never been exposed to this lifestyle. One of the questions i have is. What type of food did you typical eat and what foods were you not allowed to eat if any. Did you live alot like the Armish? You both resonate such alot of respect kindness and love beautiful couple. And thank you tp your sister for willing to share her experience. Question 2 is Do the woman / wives use contraceptives or is that not alowed at all?... God bless you and your family. Cant wait for the next video. Sharon Grant Johannesburg South Africa
I found your videos today and I just can't stop watching them. I find it very interesting how you used to live and that you left that behind. I'm sure it isn't easy to leave your family behind. Good to see you have some siblings that now share your lifestyle and you can be in each other's lives. Thanks for the great content!
I feel like I can totally relate to the way Sams sister left.. I grew up Mormon so it wasn't quite as extreme as the FLDS church, but I also felt trapped in the church and when my parents finally kicked me out of the house I was like... ok, seeya then!
@29:41 fraternizing? (I think you probably had it right with socializing, but I appreciate the in depth explanation of what you really meant.) When asked about biggest culture shock I definitely didn’t expect “introducing myself” / “moving freely” to be the answer. THANKYOU for being vulnerable and sharing! Truly interesting stuff!
Thank you so much for doing this video. - it was amazing, as usual, and I didn't want it to end. I also am wondering about your father and if he left the family voluntarily, or if he was placed somewhere else. I would love to see your sister dress and style Melissa's hair. That would be awesome to see. Love, love, love your videos.
Melissa you're the best! I've always been so intimated by Mormons and their higher opinions of themselves than regular Christians but you are not tis way! You ask all the right questions too at the exact right time too. Sometimes its a tough question too but people feel calm in your presence and Sam's and they really open up. This is all so interesting to me! It makes me thankful for my own normal upbringing but I also think there are so many neat experiences you all have in your lives and I love that you share with js! It's a bit of history and sociology and its heart warming and sometimes terrifying to learn what other people are doing. I think yall are wonderful.
This was such a great video! I have been following you guys for a while and think you are the sweetest most genuine people! I would love to see the hair tutorial and dress! Gosh to only share a father, his genes must be dominant because you look SO much alike! Hope to see more with your sister too, she is so sweet! Thanks for providing answers to questions and having a great channel!
I was shocked & actually found it a bit horrifying that while girls were given classes and training on how to be good mothers and good wives but men did not receive training on how to be good father and a good husband but he’s given all the power and control. The mindset/leadership that creates and propagates this inequality is horrifying. So for all FLDS men saying about women being their “jewels”, clearly women have no value other than to serve man 😢
I get it on the hugs. My grandpa and his 2 younger brothers (the 2 brothers were fraternal twins) did not grow up affectionate. Once, when my mom was talking to our cousin Jim (son to one of my great uncle twins) wound up asking my mom "who are you talking about? I don't know this person!" about his father, as WE made my grandpa and great uncles affectionate. WE got hugs! The last time I saw our cousin Jim's father before his passing, I was sitting in the local Walmart on a bench @ front of store, waiting for a friend I gave a ride there. In walks my great uncle. In the 10 minutes before my friend appeared ready to leave, I got at least 2 dozen hugs from my great uncle. That was the highlight of my day & it rates right up there with the day I called my mom "Mom! I just got off the phone with Grandpa- He said I LOVE YOU TOO!"...in which she asked "Are you sure he didn't say WE love you too??" (meaning he and my Grandma.) My grandparents had 5 kids, there's 14 grandkids + 4 (step)grandkids+ 15 great grandchildren at the time and I am the ONLY one who EVER got told "I love you too" by my Grandpa. Affection is HUGE!
sam, my experience and yours have many parallels. I was born flds, left home at 16 in 1998. Your story of the family taking you in touched my heart. I am grateful for them and the love that they showed to you. The transition on your own can be pure hell for some. I was the first from my family to leave. My departure was hasty, I told no one and didn’t even leave a note. I left one Sunday afternoon with $10 in my pocket, no phone, no car and nowhere to live. It was a very rocky few years to get somewhat comfortable on my own. I wish I could hug the amazing people that took you in and loved you as their own. Thanks for sharing your story.
Wow that is so courageous of you! I can’t even imagine being in your shoes but I’m so happy you made it out.
Mind if I ask where u are now? Not "where" obviously, but how ur life is going? It's hard even on the "outside" to move forward with nothing. I know I'm a stranger but I'm proud of u. I've been through my own complete transformations and it's not easy.
O
Bless your heart. I wish nothing but the best for you all. You have amazing strength resilience and heart. Nothing but love.
Carljessup2612
I sincerely hope you have found real purpose and happiness in life. Your comment was 2 years ago and your comment pulled on my heartstrings.
Possibly because I left home at 16 but for very different reasons. I found out I was pregnant 3 days before my 16 birthday and my father took me to an abortion clinic and I had locked myself in the bathroom until the clinic closed.
Pretty much knew I was on my own after that. But I thought I knew everything and was grown up and ready for the world. Reality set in fast.
You can always tell a polygamist family and someone asks how many siblings you have…. They try counting them in their heads and then laugh😂😜
That is exactly right!
Thanks. Josey Wales, Logan Utah. 👑 👍👍👍 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈🏳️🌈 👑🌈🌈🌈
I do that without a polygamist family 😆 we have a very blended family and well there is a lot.
About hugging, try to remember that people who have been abused, sexually, emotionally or physically are not likely to be comfortable with hugging. It's best to ask if they are okay with a hug.
Can’t they learn to touch and be touched? I think we need a world with hugs!
My mum was like this. She didn't like being hugged (and still doesn't). Then she gave birth to a happy hugger (me). She says I gave her tight hugs even as a baby - it used to amaze her and somehow baby hugs were fine for her. Although she is still uncomfortable with hugging in general, she still accepts and expects my hugs 😀.
@@carissafisher7514 why? Why should they have to learn? I’ve never been abused, but I don’t like hugs. I only hug my daughter and even she sometimes is like no thanks. Hugs aren’t a need in the world. 🙄
@@Missreepee that’s 100% me lol
I had a two week period of sexual harassment from two school mates+ creepy teacher. And a year earlier a kid stepped over my boundaries and I have issues with touch of any kind. Not fun, trusting anyone is kinda hard, just imagine having the sight of one the guys in street. Instant panic. The other one, also one who harassed my brother, creeper (ah!). Confirmed my own feelings. Oh, also, as a 15 years old kid, I had my own expression of affection through hugging. If I trust you I hug, tease and let you pick me up (one of my closest friends, my older brother from another mother) and be annoying to the point of confusing people *we're a couple* but we're not. He's my beard, if I can say this.
Your sister is a hoot, LOVE her sense of humor, ha! :D I loved the dynamic with her in the mix, so glad she was part of it!
I like Teffy’s personality, she has a beautiful smile and I like the way she expresses her experiences
Hair tutorial!!!! Please!! More with teffy doing anything. I find her absolutely intriguing. So glad to have the privilege of listening to her and you guys too
Thank you so much! The hair tutorial is on the list for sure!
That's kinda creepy XD
@@yesthatsme8963 you are kinda creepy
@@mybigyear o
Can't even tell you guys how much empathy I have for you!! I grew up a Jehovahs Witness, and there are so many parallels....(without the polygamy)!! I walked away from the witnesses and am now considered an apostate...sounds so similar! Sending love!!!
Thank you, Bree! We're happy you're here 😊
My mom is a witness. She stopped going to the hall and I told her that she was in a cult. She said she agreed with me, but went back.
Same! I left at 24 and it was hard because I had no friends or family anymore. People don't realize we weren't allowed to have friends outside the religion
My ex left the witness when he was 14 and would never go back he won't even let our child near a kingdom hall, like he lost his shit when his sister asked if she could take our child I've never seen him like that before.
My grandmother was ex communicated from Jehovas witnesses becshe refused to marry who they suggested. My mom was 12 and it shook her. So sad. That was all they knew.
Gives a whole new meaning to "brother from another mother" or "sister from another mister" to me..
(Melissa) Haha yes! The first time Sam used the term "brother from another mother" I busted up laughing realizing that he was serious!
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy 🤣🤣I bet
Imagine some male supposed prophet who never did his own laundry telling the women to do their laundry with one hand. As if they didn’t have enough to deal with doing laundry for dozens of kids and their husband, now do it with one hand! The clear mark of rules being set by detached men who don’t ever truly have to abide by the nonsense they put on others.
It was interesting to see that your sister still has an accent. You can hear it when she speaks as with Sam he doesn't seem to have an accent at all. Great video and enjoy seeing the relief that you are now free from your religion. It is almost like someone being released from jail and learning to live in the real world.
I love Tephi and Sam's spirit. Rebellious, respectful, loving. Amazing people. I've just found your channel and am learning so much about the community and really admire how kindly you talk about your family and friends, even though they're unable to continue that relationship as that loss is huge and could easily turn someone's heart hard.
Thank you for bringing your sister on. She is lovely- with a great sense of humour
Your sister is beautiful!! I'm so happy she joined in today. ❤
Yes she is! We were so happy she could join us too! Thanks for watching!
Melissa you are a great interviewer. Another fascinating video. Hope Teffy makes more appearances if she’s comfortable. Thanks for sharing
(Melissa Responding) Thank you so much! You are so sweet! We are hoping to have her on some more videos soon! It was so much fun to get to film with her! =)
Sam is so respectful. Recognizing that it must have been hard on the “mothers” Even though he’s left, he speaks with such respect. I admire the depth and growth.
After listening to this video, it would be great to have a video featuring the brother that Sam left with. Seems like the 2 of them went through a lot together, so it would be interesting hearing from him, if possible.
aw seeing Teffy give Melissa a pouf would be so fun! Thanks to your sis for coming on and sharing her story, I hope she joins you guys for more vids in the future :) I was one of the people who asked about hair before and I thought her answer was really interesting
We hope to have her on again soon too! So much fun!
So glad I clicked this video. Fascinating and y’all are so brave!! Who was the first sibling in your family to leave?? How did they muster up the courage without knowing anything about the outside?? How did they know it was not bad outside flds? I can’t imagine how scary it would be leave your family and everything you know when there is NO ONE on the other side to help you out.
Hi Mai! One of my older brothers was the first one to leave. He had left even before it I was born. It is very difficult to have to leave family behind but fortunately for him, back in those days, those who left were still aloud to go back to visit. He also had a lot of friends that left about the same time which was good for him.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy There is a spiritual community I think it is in England that reminds me of FLDS and they encourage young people to all take a year in the 'outside world' before committing to living the rest of their lives as a person dedicated to the community. Seems to me that having people consciously take a year away from the community for all young people as part of the discernment process makes sense. Also, it sounds like the current leader who is jailed created this 'ostracizing' of people who leave but prior to this people were still able to go back to visit. Did the current FLDS leader in jail create all the prohibitions about if a member leaves then community members including immediate family is supposed to shun you? Seems like if people could go to the 'outside world' to live and work for a year, and then could continue having the love and acceptance of family whether you choose to stay or leave the community then there wouldn't be such ripping apart of family bonds. It also seems like all those 'banishment' of people to leave their family to go and 'repent' for their sins that this also breaks up families. Seems to maintain the strength of family bonds through unconditional love and acceptance would be better than estrangements.
@@GrowingUpinPolygamy your oldest brother, Kevin, he used to work for my dad, and he left your family while he was still working for dad…also he is my neighbor, here in Missouri,and I am also your cousin..loved hearing your experiences..💙❤️💙❤️
Thank you guys!! Your story, your smiles, laughter, and compassion!!
You’re sister is great! Can we see your sister again? Would your sister ever start a UA-cam channel!! She is so brave!
So interesting. Love your sister and am eagerly awaiting Melissa’s makeover! That will be fun to watch. There’s still so much to learn in this world and I’m already 70yrs. (That happened fast!) ❤️🙏🏻🤗
Yes! Hair tutorial on Melissa!!!! Great first interview. I hope she does more. Your sister is beautiful and is very brave to share her heart the way she did. You both always share in the best interest of others because you care for your family and it really shines through. That must be so hard to not see them regularly.
My question is home births. Was there any deaths of moms or babies? How was home births handled? Were they expected to nurse their babies or were they not allowed to nurse their babies? What about the monthly periods? And were you able to take daily baths or showers? I'm really glad you guys are doing these videos because it makes us more comfortable and compassionate towards those who were born and raised in these communities. 💖🔥
Lots of questions:
1. What does your sister do now?
2. Why did your father leave?
3. Why did your mother need help?
4. Didn’t WJ expect no one to be intimate .... even married people? If this is true we’re there no more babies?
5. How many siblings did each mother have? How many have left? What are they all doing?
6. What happened to the mothers and children left behind? If the father left .... who provided for them?
7. Were people punished for breaking rules? What type of punishment?
8. Do you miss anything from the community you left?
9. Do you cook the same meals and/or the same way as you did? Is there anything you do the same?
10. What did they say about the siblings who left before you?
Father got arrested. I think 60 minutes did a special or date line
I would love to see Teffy show the hair styles! 💞
This was such an interesting interview! Looking forward to hearing more from Teffy! Thanks for sharing!
You guys are all so sweet to share your stories with us. You are very well spoken. Thank you and best of luck✌🐕
Hey 👋🏻 new viewer here from Scotland 🏴 , watched a few videos now and I must say you and your siblings are really brave to leave the only life you knew into the unknown , I’m so happy you both are sitting telling us your story , thank you for sharing 🙏🏻
Welcome! And thank you so much! =)
Wow! I would so love to compare notes with your sister. I went from LDS to Catholic and my LDS experience was very sheltered and closed off from “the world” and from a large family, then was dropped off at college having no idea what to expect from the world.
And the loneliness factor I absolutely get!
Our LDS family was more like this FLDS family than perhaps many LDS families. We were very sheltered, if we left we were ostracized, we were raised with the knowledge that we'd get married and have lots of kids, the boys would serve missions and girls would go to university only long enough to meet a returned missionary. We weren't allowed to associate with anybody not LDS and certainly believed they were "bad" people, who didn't know the truth and were therefore inferior. If the definition of cult comes down to how easy is it to leave, and are there repercussions in your relationships for leaving, then how I grew up was very cultish. I believe now that it's a very fine line. I left at a young age, was Christian for a while because being religious felt right, then left that and am happier honoring my inner truths than having them spoon-fed to me by yet someone else who believes their beliefs are superior.
This was so interesting and informative. I really enjoyed listening to it. Especially hearing these things straight from the mouths of the people who lived this life rather than just clips paired with dramatic music.
As a mama, I am heartbroken to hear about families disowning other family members. In orthodox Christianity, we believe God’s church is a place to receive grace and also a vessel of healing and grace for the world.
God bless you all for your honesty and transparency ✝️🤍🙏🏻.
Have always been fascinated by those intricate hair styles. Would so love to see a tutorial! Btw, you all are so lovely. Thank you for sharing all you do. 🤗
I've always liked their hair and dresses BUT would hate having to wear them, no individuality or creativity allowed.
It's a 1890s style frozen in time, a conservative Gibson girl or sorts.
Yes I would love to see your sister style your wife in the Flds style that would be great! I would love to see more of your sister and hear from her. Seems like it’s so hard for her to talk/express herself!
I definitely want to see the FLDS style on Melissa!
I think most of us would be a bit awkward if on camera for (I’m guessing) the first time, or one of the first times
I thought it was so funny for her say that she "bounced".... I never expected her to use urban slang with a Southwestern suburban accent. 😆 🤣 Super cute girl too, you can see the family resemblance.
I totally understand how your sister had a lot of the burden taking care of the family as a girl. Being number 12 of 14 I saw a lot of that on my older sisters even though we were not a strict family at all.
We were raised lutheran but we were raised as normal as possible considering the circumstances.
All of us went to a private lutheran school till 8th grade and then went to the public highschool. So I think we were well socialized. We were raised in NY on a big 83 acre farm.
It would probably be interesting to see the comparison of being raised in FLDS vs being raised in another religion.
I was a total tomboy and got to play with my brothers out in the woods. I think my upbringing was overall great. I feel bad for my kids now because they don't have a lot of siblings to play with like I did. I just have two kids and we don't plan on having anymore. They have over 20 cousins but they are living all over the country. We live in Las Vegas so they don't have the woods like I did growing up.
There are Jewish families in NYC who also have large families. I think that would be a interesting video.
Can Teffy talk about the issue of dating after leaving the FLDS church? I imagine that had to be a huge culture shock! I am super curious to hear what she has to say.
I will put this on the list of questions for her for next time we get to do a video together! =)
Listening to you talk about never learning to swim because you had to do it fully clothed brought back some interesting memories of me. We did swimming lessons through school as kids and, once you learned all the basic swimming techniques etc, the more advanced classes for older children included basic lifesaving skills and things. One of those classes involved turning up fully dressed in heavy clothing (jeans, woollen jumper, shoes, etc) and going in and swimming like that. Because it’s one thing to be able to swim properly with an unrestrictive, light swimsuit on, but it was also important to learn to cope if we accidentally fell into or had to jump into a body of water fully clothed. I can’t imagine trying to do that if I didn’t have the foundational skills first.
Teffie seems like a wonderful person and like she would be a great friend.
This is such a great video. You should do more videos with other siblings and their experiences in the FLDS. That would be awesome. I always re watch your videos.
'I want to do what he's doing." So cute and totally siblings.
Oh Gee Wow! I really like Taffy (apologies the spelling). I wish her so much happiness and love and kindness and hope she gets to create a family of her own on her terms. Be courageous ❤️
Don't hold back! I understand not wanting to slander anyone, but don't be afraid to share your experience. People need to know the truth about it, and realize it's not what God wants.
You shouldn't assume she is holding back for that reason
Omg this was so great thank you guys for making this video with your sister. Yes I think she should do a hair style tutorial that would be fun. You guys are so amazing 🤩 I love ❤️ all your videos! You should have more of your siblings come on are share their stories of leaving the FLDS.
Teffie is wonderful!!! So intelligent, well spoken, and strong! I adore when she comes on the channel!!!
Teffy is beyond gorgeous and super strong! I would love to hear her share more of her story!!
Making a hair/getting dressed tutorial in the outfit that she left home in could be totally retraumatizing. If that's the case then I DON'T want a tutorial video. But IF Teffy feels comfortable walking Melissa through a hair and/or getting dressed tutorial, I would absolutely watch it.
Your sister seems super sweet and such a lovely lady. I hope she is happy now she is out. Thanks so much for all doing the videos. Very interesting 😀
This was such an awesome episode. Thanks for sharing 🇨🇦.
Hope to see your sister again! She seems sweet and her story is so fascinating…and she seems so mellow about it but I know that was a lot of turmoil to learn and figure out who you are and how you fit in when it all feels so socially awkward to communicate in a world you were sheltered from and the life you were taught and manipulated into believing as the only truth.
Happy you have a good support system.
Yes! A video tutorial on the hair! Haha. Love these videos. Sam, your sister is so genuine. Thanks for sharing with us!
Yasss have her give you a makeover!! Such a fun experience!
The questions I feel that are unanswered.. what is your sister doing now? Boyfriend? Married? What does she love about her freedom, how does she spend her time? Did she or does she having any PTSD? Another video after life at the FLDS is favorites...food? Fast food? Sit down Restaurant? Coffee? Hobby? Store? Or a this or that kind of video. It’s interesting from going from no choices the world of choices and what they choose to enjoy.
I was wondering this too
Yes. Please.
I’d love to find out more too 🙏🏻💫
She has her own youtube channel
@@tomaszwyszkowski2253 What is it?
So cool to have your biological half sister on your channel!!!
What’s Normal? I’m sure without sounding demented that you all have to personally weigh in on this all the time. You’ve experienced so much and that could battle your own sanity. I’d probably have to pick and choose what I’d even want to think about much less who I could share what with. You’re really very bright and beautiful people and I hope the survivalist in each of you will always be kind and merciful to each of your own souls! It’s a big thank you for being brave and strong enough to help the outside understand but your bond with each other is a crucial factor it seems to your own adjustments! No one knows like you know, good bad or indifferent! So much love to you all Sincerely!
Thank you so so so much all three of you for being so open and doing this. Absolutely riveting.
Thank you for being so open and honest. The culture you grew up in is so radically different from the culture that I grew up in. Answering a lot of questions I’ve had thank you very much.
They have different moms, their daddies genetics are strong. Love his sister, she's super sweet ❤. Sam leaving at 18, in that fashion bless his soul.
This was a great video guys, so interesting to hear your stories. ❤️ from Ireland 🇮🇪
Sam your sister seems like an absolute doll💕😘
I grew up there too. And it sounds like my family was wildly different from yours. For one thing, we hugged each other, and our parents hugged us. We of course didn't wear red, because it's sacred, but black was not a thing. Everyone in my family wore black. The boys wore both black shirts or pants, and the girls wore black denim, or leather jackets. As a girl, I listened to the home ec trainings on my own, because I wanted to. No one ever made me, or said I had to. And we (the girls) did lots of things for fun. We'd go on hikes, or picnics, or just for a cruise around town in the evenings, after dinner when the children were in bed. I think maybe it was so much different for girls in my family because my age group was almost all girls. With just 2 boys.
Thank you for sharing your experience! How old were you when you left and what year did you leave? I’d love to learn more about your story! Did anybody else leave within your family? I have so many questions if you are willing to share!
@@TheKatarinaGiselle When I was 22 I was really struggling to follow all the rules. Like, REALLY struggling. And I was told I needed to be separate from my family members that were actually following the rules. So I moved away from my family, and kind of drifted from there. It wasn't really one day, or moment. And yes. I do have siblings that left. 3 brothers and 1 sister.
So interesting 👍🏼😊really enjoyed listening to you all, thank you for your openness and honesty, lovely family🥰sending love from England❤️xxx
You can definitely tell that they are related even though they are from different mothers!
Yes! It's the eyes 😊
I agree
@@cllovegood omg so im just finding this channel, binging it and of course seeing what others say in the comments and I look up and my maiden name was Katlyn Phillips 💜 so random 🤣🥰
Teffy’s accent FASCINATES me! My husband (whose first language is not English) thinks she just sounds Southern. But being Southern myself (from southeastern U.S.), I don’t think it’s quite Southern. It’s just ~different~ and hard to peg. Lol. I guess it would stand to reason that a very isolated sect would have a very one-of-a-kind dialect.
Utah/Mormon accents, in general, are very interesting and unique to me. Hard to imitate. Lol
I came here to ask about Teffy’s accent! Sam has it a bit, too, but not as strong. I live in the south - it’s definitely not a southern accent!
I live in Utah, Melissa and Terry’s accents are really great examples of the main stream Utah accent vs the FLDS accent. It seems like the FLDS have their own way of speaking because they’re so secluded from the rest of the area. As a mainstream Mormon living in the Salt Lake area I’ve only met maybe 2 FLDS people and had interactions with them, but we know they’re around the state and see them around once in a blue moon. They seem keep to themselves and like to interact with other FLDS more than talking to people outside their community so I can see that creating it’s own accent.
I met a man recently who I was certain was from Utah. When I asked him about his accent he smiled and indicated he'd been asked before. Turns out he's from an area of Pennsylvania where many of the early converts came from.
@@T3rsky Interesting! Yes, I think the Mormon accent has lots of influences from the early days and different areas that Mormonism caught on. It's such an interesting accent.
@@T3rsky That is so interesting!
I love to watch this stories. His sister looks happy and healthy. I’m curious about what FLDS still wearing garments as Mormons (LDS). Keep up more stories. 👍🏻
They do still have garments, but they are like the original garments that Joseph Smith revealed.
I really enjoyed Teffy's openness and her story. It takes courage to share in front of a camera. Please have her on again. I would like to hear more.
You guys are great! My background is completely different but I enjoy your channel and you’ve answered so many of my questions that I didn’t even know I had! I find it so fascinating and eye opening. Keep making the videos! Thanks
I TOTALLY WANT TO SEE A TEFFIE HAIR TUTORIAL ON MELISSA!!!
I keep looking at the siblings and imagining what their dad looks like based on the similar features.
I love hearing your interactions with your sister. The family resemblance is so apparent.
I can imagine (in addition to the emotional and social pressure) because the girls don’t always have access to paying jobs, or GEDs, it is financially and physically difficult to leave.
The boys has the advantage of earning money, getting work experience, and buying vehicles to give themselves a way to leave.
@Vintage Farm Lady I’m sure a few families and communities might have worked that way, but that’s likely a gross over generalization of the lifestyle and culture. I have a friend who is a former “cult” religion member similar to FLDS, and she said no girls in her community we’re married before 18, because they were all expected to go on mission trips starting at 18 for at least 2-3 years before starting a family.
Wow, this is fascinating. Your courage is strong. Bless you!!!
Thank you so much!
OMG IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS 😍😍
They look so much alike. They have to take after their father because they have different mothers. They are so adorable. Very nice looking.
Teffi you’re so awesome !! I’d love seeing your pouf tutorial !! I’m the crazy one that asked about shaving your legs . Hahaha
Thank you for sharing your story -- a few questions -- if nobody is getting married -- what are the young adults doing ? Are they leaving or living the single life ? Also in your home, since there were so many children and you mentioned ironing the clothes -- did the children have their own clothes or since so many similar in age , did everyone that clothing size just choose an item? For example, I know of another large family, they had one clothing closet with everything on a rolling rack based on size / gender. thanks!
Just saw this answered in the last video I watched, they each had their own section of the wardrobe and had their own clothes. Lots of hand-me-downs, but the women of the family just seemed to know whose clothes were whose ☺️
@@LemonBarchie thanks for the reply! I had forgotten about this question -- but do remember watching the last video ... quite interesting!
You can tell they are brother and sister. But She is Beautiful. I hope She finds a Man that treats her like a Lady and Queen in the relationship
I would like to know about the time “The Law” came in to investigate and took lots of women & children for questioning & investigations. 2008, so pretty long ago. Did either of you experience this? What was said about it? Did many people leave after? We’re myths & stories told about it afterwards?
Making these videos is super brave, I admire all your strengths. Thank you!
This is so wonderful!! How fun to see you and your sister! Thanks for joining!
Also, I’d love to see a hair tutorial and any like morning routine or day time ritual vlog style videos. Maybe a FLDS cooking show? I dunno. I just love learning about your journeys!
Came here from Netflix. Keep Sweet: Pray and obey
Really cool talk! Really enjoyed listening to you guys!!! 😁😊
I grew up in a normal home but we didn't hug either. I had a friend in college who forced hugs on me until I got comfortable with them.
It was nice to virtually meet u Teppy. Not sure if the spelling is correct but that’s how it came across the screen. Hopefully u will come back & talk with us some more about ur childhood & the way u were rait
Omg, please make more videos with her! Also any other former members, or family. It’s super interesting to learn about the different experiences. Whether because of gender or mothers, etc.
Yes I’m interested in watching a hair tutorial and dress up in her outfit.
Can you expand on your father “leaving the family” and how the makeup of your family is today
I was curious about this too!
I wondered too!
What happened to the mothers if the father left??? How do they financially manage??
My understanding is most wives after the 1st receive government support as single mothers. Correct me if l am wrong.
Hello i am in South Africa and would like to first say Thank you for being so open and wonderful in sharing your stories. I find this so interesting and its amazing to learn about this topic as we have never been exposed to this lifestyle. One of the questions i have is. What type of food did you typical eat and what foods were you not allowed to eat if any. Did you live alot like the Armish? You both resonate such alot of respect kindness and love beautiful couple. And thank you tp your sister for willing to share her experience. Question 2 is Do the woman / wives use contraceptives or is that not alowed at all?... God bless you and your family. Cant wait for the next video.
Sharon Grant
Johannesburg
South Africa
I found your videos today and I just can't stop watching them. I find it very interesting how you used to live and that you left that behind. I'm sure it isn't easy to leave your family behind. Good to see you have some siblings that now share your lifestyle and you can be in each other's lives. Thanks for the great content!
In the cult I grew up in, the saying was, "The higher the hair, the closer to heaven!" LOL
Haha that's awesome!
I’d love to hear more about the hair styles! What is your sister doing now? She is absolutely beautiful!
Sam & his sister look so much alike, as soon as you guys came on my screen I instantly said to myself, they had the same mother.... but NOOO! Wow!
I am glad they use the term sister and brother none of that stupid half stuff. You can’t have half a sibling.
Delightful to have family together and sharing.
Yes on the hair tutorial! 😂 do it! Do it! 🤣
I feel like I can totally relate to the way Sams sister left.. I grew up Mormon so it wasn't quite as extreme as the FLDS church, but I also felt trapped in the church and when my parents finally kicked me out of the house I was like... ok, seeya then!
Thank you so much for sharing with us, Teffy!
@29:41 fraternizing?
(I think you probably had it right with socializing, but I appreciate the in depth explanation of what you really meant.) When asked about biggest culture shock I definitely didn’t expect “introducing myself” / “moving freely” to be the answer. THANKYOU for being vulnerable and sharing! Truly interesting stuff!
Thank you so much for doing this video. - it was amazing, as usual, and I didn't want it to end. I also am wondering about your father and if he left the family voluntarily, or if he was placed somewhere else. I would love to see your sister dress and style Melissa's hair. That would be awesome to see. Love, love, love your videos.
Melissa you're the best! I've always been so intimated by Mormons and their higher opinions of themselves than regular Christians but you are not tis way! You ask all the right questions too at the exact right time too. Sometimes its a tough question too but people feel calm in your presence and Sam's and they really open up. This is all so interesting to me! It makes me thankful for my own normal upbringing but I also think there are so many neat experiences you all have in your lives and I love that you share with js! It's a bit of history and sociology and its heart warming and sometimes terrifying to learn what other people are doing. I think yall are wonderful.
Aww thank you so much! You are so sweet!
This was such a great video! I have been following you guys for a while and think you are the sweetest most genuine people! I would love to see the hair tutorial and dress! Gosh to only share a father, his genes must be dominant because you look SO much alike! Hope to see more with your sister too, she is so sweet! Thanks for providing answers to questions and having a great channel!
Thank you so much!!
I was shocked & actually found it a bit horrifying that while girls were given classes and training on how to be good mothers and good wives but men did not receive training on how to be good father and a good husband but he’s given all the power and control.
The mindset/leadership that creates and propagates this
inequality is horrifying.
So for all FLDS men saying about women being their “jewels”, clearly women have no value other than to serve man 😢
Aw she’s so sweet I love her!! I’d love to see that hair tutorial
I get it on the hugs. My grandpa and his 2 younger brothers (the 2 brothers were fraternal twins) did not grow up affectionate. Once, when my mom was talking to our cousin Jim (son to one of my great uncle twins) wound up asking my mom "who are you talking about? I don't know this person!" about his father, as WE made my grandpa and great uncles affectionate. WE got hugs! The last time I saw our cousin Jim's father before his passing, I was sitting in the local Walmart on a bench @ front of store, waiting for a friend I gave a ride there. In walks my great uncle. In the 10 minutes before my friend appeared ready to leave, I got at least 2 dozen hugs from my great uncle. That was the highlight of my day & it rates right up there with the day I called my mom "Mom! I just got off the phone with Grandpa- He said I LOVE YOU TOO!"...in which she asked "Are you sure he didn't say WE love you too??" (meaning he and my Grandma.) My grandparents had 5 kids, there's 14 grandkids + 4 (step)grandkids+ 15 great grandchildren at the time and I am the ONLY one who EVER got told "I love you too" by my Grandpa. Affection is HUGE!
Its great to see you getting it happening that you can live your life the way you want & think is best for you. Well done!