I never formed any attachment to my parents. They’re both narcissist that I have never felt any love from. I’m 50 years old and I still struggle with having any attachments to other people, I don’t trust them. They say that we are social creatures but when you see that most people are toxic and unconscious it is an easy choice to be in solitude. I may be lonely at times but at least I can breathe. Thank you
I'm sorry to hear about your unpleasant experiences with your parents. Such experiences are significant in shaping the way you feel about connection and trust. Keep in mind that, while it is important to prioritize your well-being and loneliness, not everyone is toxic or unconscious. There are those who sincerely care about others. Small measures taken at your own pace when trying to connect with people may lead to meaningful connections. Your well-being is very important.💫💕🙏
@@yourinnerchildmatters You’re right, I don’t cut everybody off but I’m very cautious. And it sounds like you’re definitely one of the good ones. Much love my friend and thank you again
What a lovely thoughtful reply and I’d like to echo that sentiment and hope you find your soulmate. He/she is out there somewhere, I’ll still expecting mine at 50 too. I’d loving parents, both passed now but 3 siblings that are narcissistic and have treated me like crap for years. Now I understand it, it’s easier to accept and avoid them . All the best to you x
Facts. Dad died young bc of 💔 & its emotional suppression🙏👀👂🌱 9:12 true w/ one parent. Grateful alcoholism didn’t kill me-and AA taught me how to grow up. Wishing✌️❤️to all reading this, you are worthy✨🎁🌎
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. It's heartbreaking to know that emotional struggles may have such a big impact on our life. Remember that sharing your experience can be extremely healing and may help others who are going through similar difficulties. Opening up about feelings and getting help is a brave step toward escaping the pattern of emotional suppression. Your comment is a reminder of the importance of addressing mental and emotional well-being. Thank you for sharing 🌟💕
I listen and learn so much common good here. Thank you and I am profoundly grateful. I recently set my boundaries higher, ended a long term marriage & look 20 yrs younger , feel like I’m healing from the inside. Your insight is true. I will continue to learn and grow. I recognize my roll and surrender. I profoundly cared for this person with compassion. With grace and compassion I had to let go. My house was built in the wrong person. With grace I wish him a healthy recovery and many blessings. Thank you Dr. Mate.
Thank you very much for your kind thoughts and for sharing your experience with us. The desire you have to set up higher boundaries and prioritize your own well-being is extremely inspiring. It takes guts to accept change and healing, and your transformation shines through. I wish you continued success on your journey of learning, growth, and self-discovery. Your ability to let go with grace and compassion shows how strong you are within. I wish you a future full of healing, blessings, and fresh beginnings.🌟🙏✨🌈💖
I completely understand how you're feeling. Dr. Mate's wisdom and compassion have a special ability for touching both our minds and hearts. It's truly touching when you hear how his words can have such an impact. Thank you for sharing your emotional experience with us; it reminds us of the power of genuine connection and empathy. Get in touch with us if you want to discuss more of his work or anything else. I'm sending you virtual hugs🙏✨
As an adult, I recently realized that I possibly had a sensitivity to sensory processes. I was very sensitive to certain materials, food textures, etc. I was made to feel that I was being ridiculous with my aversions, even though my skin itched and sometimes felt like it was burning. I learned very early on to suppress my feelings and my truth. I went from a narcissistic father to a narcissistic husband because I felt I was wrong and my feelings were ridiculous. I now know the truth and am moving on in my own healing!! ❤ Self love!!❤❤
It takes incredible bravery for you to share your journey with us, thank you. It's difficult to accept your own sensitivities, especially when you've been told they're not valid. You should be really proud of yourself for understanding the value of self-love and going on a journey of healing. Remember that you are not alone in this, and that there is a community of people who understand and support you including me. Breaking free from the cycle of destructive relationships and self-doubt requires great strength. Your ongoing commitment to self-love is inspirational, and I hope your story inspires others to embrace their own truths and begin their own healing journeys. You deserve all of the happiness and peace that come from self-acceptance and self-compassion. ❤ Keep moving forward on this beautiful path of self-discovery and healing! ❤❤
Dr. G I’m grateful for all you give , your sharing knowledge that not only helps us become our best self we have space to love others through our own ownership, creating connection with others by understanding ourselves… it’s a humble gift in our lives- in our voice and truth we are free and we Love in such a new way. the ability to love ourselves creates the ability to grow, that is our purpose to discover how to heal and become our best selves, as many of us stay trapped in not knowing what is real- in what we can never understand within… what you don’t know you don’t know, you open a door to life for so many it’s the will to grow as the adult, the child becomes free….With a voice that matters, we all have a place here. thank you Dr Gabor you’re a Beautiful Gem…
Thank you very much for your kind words! It's truly inspiring to watch how Dr. Gabor's videos have influenced your life and helped you on your path of self-discovery and growth. Your words beautifully express the very essence of how understanding ourselves allows us to connect with and love others genuinely. Dr. Gabor's teachings are a simple yet profound gift that allows us to heal and grow into our best selves. Your admiration for his work shows the life-changing influence he has on so many people. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being a part of this community. Continue to shine and grow! 🌟🌱
Very delicate point : there is a very good reason why adults learn to control anger, and sometimes to suppress it, and Dr. Mate should have mentioned this, to balance his exhortation to ALWAYS express anger. Be careful about it. It’s true, what he is saying. But it’s a very fine balance.
You bring up an important part of emotion management. Dr. Mate's viewpoint emphasizes the need of acknowledging and dealing with anger, which can be quite empowering for many. However, you are completely right that there is an appropriate boundary between expressing and concealing anger. While it is important to recognize our feelings, it is also important to find appropriate outlets for and communication of our anger. This could include taking a step back to examine the underlying cause, employing mindfulness practices, or getting professional help when necessary. Emotions are complicated, and determining the best solution for each specific situation is important. Thank you for engaging to this thought-provoking topic✨💖
I think it's okay to always express your anger if you do it in a respectful way. Expressing rage is different, but anger is just saying you're boundary has been crossed and there's no problem with saying that to the person who crossed it.
@@whatbringsmepeace Yes, correct. Only thing is, good luck with coming up with the perfectly balanced, appropriate and respectful expression of anger every time… that would mean being perfect … I still haven’t met anyone like that.
@@tomlabooks3263 neither have I but now that I know how detrimental anger suppression is, I'd rather err on the side of being rude and walking away if I can't come up with a respectful boundary request.
@@whatbringsmepeace Good point. We’re all human. I’m also catholic, and I recently ordered a book that should be interesting “The angry christian”, about this topic as seen through the christian perspective. Massive mistake to confuse “being christian” with “being nice”!
They die because their blood gets sucked. What is left of humanity is rubbish. That is the inconvenient truth - that for rubbish people to succeed, they walk over those who are humane. Distribution of capital and recognition: make sure you weed out the trash and protect the kind, unless we collectively choose to pay and therefore value aggression, manipulation and sheer inner ugly. This is the only. Dr I deeply respect.
I listen with deep gratitude for recognizing that our inner life is mirrored precisely by our bodily conditions. I began calling this,"body symbology" back in the late 80s, related exactly to specific emotional states. Psychoneuroimmunology was brand new at the time. I perceived as a psychic that the adage, "As within, so without," was fact, in astounding ways.... In the 80s, the Recovery movement brought the "original pain" of the inner child, shamed, uncertain of his love ability and thus, his safety in the world: but the scientific world at large, wasn't listening. And how addictions were ways to cope with the sense of not belonging... not being safe to Be, ourSelves.... Gabor seems to be bringing many insights from a number of fields, and his own precious experience of trauma-- true for me as well--- to Light. It's always timely, much needed. Blessings to all.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your important views and personal story with us! It's wonderful to hear about your late-80s "body symbology" concept, especially in the context of psychoneuroimmunology. Your belief in the relationship between our inner and outside worlds, and how it connects to emotional states, matches Dr. Gabor's work brilliantly. It's nice to see how you acknowledged the significance of addressing the inner child's "original pain" and the role of addictions in coping with emotions of not belonging or not being safe to be ourselves. Your insight from those days has undoubtedly contributed to a better understanding of these challenges today. Dr. Gabor's perspectives, together with your own experiences, continue to shed light on these important problems. Your blessings are truly welcomed, and we value your participation in this ongoing discussion.🙏✨💖
So grateful I found your channel. I’ve been listening to snippets of the videos with Dr. Mate and they resonate so much. The end of this one regarding attachment and authenticity just brought tears to my eyes. Just shows me how much it does resonate with me.😢😓
Glad you like them!Your touching comment has truly touched me. It makes me happy to know that the content, particularly the discussions with Dr. Mate, has resonated with you. Tears are proof to the strength of genuine friendships and meaningful conversations. It's a lovely reminder of how connected we are all on our path to understanding attachment and authenticity. Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm grateful to have you as a member of this community. Your engagement are greatly appreciated, and I look forward to continue this journey with you. Stay inspired!! 💙🌟
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you so much.. from my heart to yours 🙏🏼🥹💜 It truly is wonderful to have found this community, so grateful for the loving hearts..🥰🥰
Same here. They also rarely thought to say the right thing. Plenty of hyper-criticism and barely any encouragement or positive feedback. At 62, I still struggle with who I am, the result of far too long living in fear of what family would think about just about anything, getting along to get along, and not living authentically.
I was adopted at birth and raised by two loving parents, one sadly with narcissistic tendencies due to own trauma. All my life, I had to suppress myself heavily, because if I was my authentic self, e.g: exploring who I really am, my biological family and identity, my adopted parents just couldn't handle it. They couldn't handle their own unresolved pain, shame etc to start with, let alone another family's identity. So now at 35, all the suppressed emotions, attachment trauma and self abandonment has manifested itself in autoimmune disease, fibroid issues, mental health issues, food addiction and eating disorder. If you are considering adopting, I'd say do a thorough assessment of your emotional, mental and physical health. Ask yourself, why do you want to adopt a child? Because just adopting a child to meet your needs is going to cost that child greatly. Adoption isn't all positive. Adoption is also trauma, is very painful, because of attachment disruption. There's a reason why there is a high number of adoptees in rehab centres.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm deeply sorry for the pain you've experienced. Your advice is important and comes from a place of real experience. Adoption is complex and should be approached with care and understanding. I hope you find healing and support on your journey. Your voice matters and helps others understand the full picture of adoption.
Thanks for this. Simple short video but says a lot abt humanity in this generation. Sad but true. People are losing their minds because they never had any authenticity and attachment in their lifetime. I’ve seen it as i’ve worked in a mental facility before
Absolutely, and I'm happy that you found the video useful! You've made an important insight concerning humanity's current situation. It is a complex issue, since a lack of authenticity and true connections can lead to a variety of problems, including mental health issues. Your experience working in a mental institution brings a practical perspective to this subject. Let us hope that as people and as a society, we can work together to create more meaningful connections and reestablish a feeling of authenticity in our interactions. Your insights are very valuable and help to deepen our understanding of these topics. 🙏✨💖
Anger! I never realized how much anger I had swallowed over the years that I was married. My therapist told me I couldn’t move forward in my life after divorce until I had processed all my emotions particularly ANGER. I never hated my ex but I was so angry 😤 at him for stealing my life and treating me like an option or totally invisible 🫥. He was starting over with a girlfriend who had babies. A do over family. While his own kids were wondering what the hell happened and was it something they did? He refused to talk to them before he left. What a dad, the effects took years to smooth over for our kids. Alcoholic, workaholic same disease different venue. Nobody left untouched.
Hello there! Thank you for sharing a powerful and meaningful journey with us. It takes big courage to address and handle emotions like anger, especially after a major life event like divorce. Your therapist's advise on processing these emotions is true; it's a necessary step toward moving ahead and healing. It's painful that your ex's actions had such a deep impact on you and your children. Hearing how their world was turned upside down is sad. Your perseverance in easing over the impacts for your children is admirable, and it shows much about your commitment as a parent. Remember that you are not alone in this. Sharing your story not only helps you heal, but it also reaches out to others who may be going through a similar experience. Your bravery in speaking up might inspire and soothe individuals who are managing their own emotions during difficult times. Continue to focus on your own recovery and growth, and believe that better days are ahead. 💪🌟Sending lots of virtual hugs to you. 💖💖💖💖
Hi! Very interesting! I am very strange, very different and I wonder why. I have experienced trauma us a todler, seen agressivity and sorrow, lost my dad, my mum got depressed. I am very HSP, but I have good self esteem and self confidence. I am not afraid of my emotions. I do not care much about what people think of me. I follow my instinct. When I am sad (grief) I can cry and howl for days, shout out the pain. When I am angry with a person I tell them. I am happy. I trust people. I like to connect deeply with people, but most of them do not, sadly. It feels like the trauma has not traumatized me. Why do I not suppress anger and sadness? I would like to understand why.
It's truly inspiring to hear about your story and the amount of determination you've shown in overcoming all the challenges you've faced. Being capable of to embrace and share your feelings in such a true and fearless manner indicates the strength that you possess. Your instinct to stay connected with others is a beautiful characteristic, even if not everyone reciprocates that level of connection. It's a wonderful journey you've taken to navigate through trauma and not let it repress your emotions. Remember that everyone's reaction to trauma is different and how well you're able to process your feelings freely may be due to your strong sense of self and emotional awareness. Keep going to embrace your feelings and follow your instincts - it's a great way to live authentically. 💖💖💖
I wonder if anyone ever think's that their parent's could have also been conditioned to act the way they did, and could have been unable to express themselves. They may have very much wsnted to be loving, but didn't know how to be emotionally available. Forgive because everyone has their story and the baggage heaped on them, and who can we blame it's a cycle. How far back in the family generation's can we go to pinpoint where it all began ? We can't we are human and not perfect, forgive, and ask God to heal us all 🙏 we all fail, everyone, love is the answer, and to love the unlovable is the ultimate love 💖
You've absolutely nailed it! It's important to remember that our parents, like us, may have had obstacles and boundaries. Forgiveness and love have the ability to break the pattern and heal. Thank you for giving such an insightful viewpoint! 🙏💖
I have a real problem with this comment. First of all, what makes you think we dont know why our parents are the way they are? Don't condescend. I'm the family historian. I know why my father was the way he was. I know why my mother is the way she is. Both had multiple severe traumas by the time they were 10. Severe, the kind that trauma specialists write case studies about. I know why my ex is the way he is. Emotionally unavailable parents and raised by an emotionally abusive sibling. You know what? I. DON'T. CARE. And I'm not interested in forgiveness!
I'm going to throw this in here, because it comes from a more objective viewpoint. Before abuse made it impossible for me to hold space, I worked as a trauma-based therapist. All my training is based in trauma, and I was taught that diagnosis is done in this order: look for trauma, then medical issues, then mental health. I had a lot of clients walk in with various kinds of trauma, or difficult family situations, or we would do some digging and find trauma. The biggest obstacle we ran into as we worked on healing was some version of, "I should forgive and I am ashamed that I cannot forgive."
I know you mean well but this kind of thought is spiritual bypassing. It does not promote healing but promotes suppression even more. We all KNOW that our parents have also been conditioned and have their own trauma, but until we all have truthfully faced what has happened to us and how it has affected us, we will never truly heal from it. It is only after we have faced and acknowledged it, then we can truly choose to forgive and give it to God. Heck if you want a verse, here it is. When you know the truth, the truth will set you free. Yes, the truth is Jesus, and also the truth in all things, in this case about what happened in one's life. Beliefs and practices that bypassing the difficult process of processing the emotions and facing the truth, is more damaging than good.
Past three weeks I'm seeing a therapist to resolve my issues of talking my mind.. My mother never allowed us to express my opinions, will power or my choices.when i was angry, sad, disappointed.. i was asked to shut up and just listen. Now I'm 46 and when anybody yells at me, or even confront me..nothing comes out of my mouth.. There are thoughts but they get locked in the throat.. Nothing comes out..
I'd like to start by congratulating you on taking the brave step of seeking therapy to address your issues with self-expression. It's clear that you've been carrying the weight of suppressed emotions and unheard thoughts for a long time, and confronting and working through these deeply rooted patterns takes huge courage. Your story resonates to many people, highlighting the huge impact that early childhood traumas can have on our ability to communicate and express ourselves as adults. It's distressing to hear of your long period of silence, feeling unable to express your thoughts and emotions. Remember that healing is a process, and it's great to learn that you've begun it with counseling. The fact that you're addressing this issue at 46 demonstrates wonderful resilience and determination. Please be patient with yourself; unlearning these behaviors and finding your voice takes time. Meanwhile, work to surround yourself with helpful and understanding people who will allow you to express yourself at your own pace. Your journey to healing and self-discovery is valuable, and I really hope that you find the freedom to express yourself in a way that brings you peace and joy. Thank you for sharing this very personal aspect of your life with us. Your vulnerability and bravery are truly inspirational. Best regards from Your Inner Child Matters Channel 💫💕🙏✨
When I was born and couple of years after it the only one Who believed I would survive was the granny of my father. Luckily she was securely attached. No doubt about that.
Granny's intuition is very wonderful! Her unconditional faith in you must to have been a huge source of strength for you. It's lovely to hear how her secure attachment helped your journey. 🙏💕
Dr Maté has made enormous contributions to the discourse on trauma, emotional well-being and health. That's indisputable. However, how do you square his thesis that unresolved trauma and repressed pain are direct causes of chronic illness when considering all the young children who suffer from chronic illnesses like cancer? Is every 2, 3 or 4-year old child suffering from cancer repressing trauma? Seems unlikely. It's tempting to believe that if we can just correct our internal psychological and emotional pain we will shield ourselves from debilitating chronic illness, yet clearly there are more variables at work than ONLY trauma and emotional pain. I completely believe that a positive and healthy psyche promote general well-being, but if it were as significant as Dr Maté implies, theoretically some people should never get sick and instead live forever. When you game out his thesis like this, it becomes clear that everything is not as simple as he implies. I want to hear Dr Maté's response to these honest questions. To that point, it's very surprising that not a single host has ever asked.
Hello there! Thank you for engaging with Dr. Maté's views and raising some interesting points. You've raised an important question about the relationship between trauma and chronic illness, particularly in the context of young children with cancer.While Dr. Maté's viewpoint emphasizes the impact of unresolved trauma and emotional distress on health, it is important to note that the development of chronic illnesses is impacted by a variety of factors, including genetics, environmental exposure, and chance. Dr. Maté's framework of view does not always imply that every case of chronic illness is the result of suppressed trauma. Instead, he may be emphasizing the possible significance of emotional well-being in overall health. While it may not be the only determinant, developing a happy and healthy psyche may lead to higher overall well-being and can even help in the prevention of some health problems. Regarding the assumption that some people may never become ill if emotional and psychological variables were the only determinants, it's important to remember that health is a complex combination of many factors. Dr. Maté's viewpoint could be considered as an addition to our understanding of health rather than a complete explanation.It's also worth mentioning that the lack of hosts questioning Dr. Maté on these specific points does not necessarily indicate a lack of curiosity or thoughtful inquiry. Interviews are frequently time-limited, and topics can be focused to specific areas of an individual's work. Thanks once again and bless you💫💕
now that epigenetics are being taken more seriously, that can explain why children suffer chronic illnesses as well. I think it’s tantamount that parents do their best to manage their emotions healthily BEFORE having children.
The aspect of reincarnation and karma has to be factored in. Dr Mate generally seems to stay within the mainstream medical model, understandably, as that is his area of expertise. Most people want concrete proofs to back up what they’re hearing about.
I think one of reason is anger not effective. Imagine you express anger towards someone and two people fight consistently. It will become more and more anger 😠 😡 👿 ruin life. Anger is because frustration. If we Mindful about it. Find better way to solve problem. Anger will be reduced.
You are absolutely right! Anger frequently escalates conflicts and makes them worse. It's great that you acknowledge that dissatisfaction is frequently at the basis of anger. Being aware and pursuing constructive solutions are effective ways to lessen anger and increase happiness in our lives. Maintain your self-awareness and personal growth!😊🌟
Not asking for help ? I don’t think thad is the problem, In Belgium 🇧🇪 if you ask for help they feeling harselared ooh then tell , Hey you now we can put you in prison for 25 years 6:35 because you are asking for help ! What do you think abouth Heathcare in Belgium 🇧🇪 great is it not !😊 8:18
This makes me so mad. Why are you faulting people for their kindness and sense of civic duty and obligation? We can't function as a civil society without following fair rules. Why wouldn't you place blame on all the jackasses who take advantage of people's kindness and who are maliciously and intentionally ignoring and violating people's boundaries as well as the laws of our society? Like cancer that violates the normal of a functioning body, so do the assholes of our world. Babies need attachment to the mama bc they have no concept of self-awareness until they're at least 1 year old. They believe that they and their mama are one and the same. This is why they cannot survive and why children who were denied attachment as babies have Disassociation Syndrome and are, to no fault of their own, somewhat sociopathic. The fault absolutely does not lay with the kind person, but with all the malicious and narcissist people who take advantage of other people for their own gain, and who sickly derive pleasure from watching good people suffer. Yes, I believe in boundaries, but you must realize that the reason we need them is bc, like the fortifications of a medieval castle, boundarues keep out the bad shitheads who are trying to make you crumble so they can ransack your heart and soul, pillage, rape, and murder all that you have and all that you are. How about preaching to people to stop being assholes? I guess that's impossible bc those people are sociopaths who either have an underdeveloped frontal cortex matched with an overdeveloped amygdala, or whose childhood trauma created a monster.
I never formed any attachment to my parents. They’re both narcissist that I have never felt any love from. I’m 50 years old and I still struggle with having any attachments to other people, I don’t trust them. They say that we are social creatures but when you see that most people are toxic and unconscious it is an easy choice to be in solitude. I may be lonely at times but at least I can breathe. Thank you
I'm sorry to hear about your unpleasant experiences with your parents. Such experiences are significant in shaping the way you feel about connection and trust. Keep in mind that, while it is important to prioritize your well-being and loneliness, not everyone is toxic or unconscious. There are those who sincerely care about others. Small measures taken at your own pace when trying to connect with people may lead to meaningful connections. Your well-being is very important.💫💕🙏
@@yourinnerchildmatters You’re right, I don’t cut everybody off but I’m very cautious. And it sounds like you’re definitely one of the good ones. Much love my friend and thank you again
thank you so much too. Much love and support to you! 🌟
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you and take care yourself as well my friend 🙏🏼
What a lovely thoughtful reply and I’d like to echo that sentiment and hope you find your soulmate. He/she is out there somewhere, I’ll still expecting mine at 50 too.
I’d loving parents, both passed now but 3 siblings that are narcissistic and have treated me like crap for years. Now I understand it, it’s easier to accept and avoid them . All the best to you x
Facts. Dad died young bc of 💔 & its emotional suppression🙏👀👂🌱
9:12 true w/ one parent. Grateful alcoholism didn’t kill me-and AA taught me how to grow up. Wishing✌️❤️to all reading this, you are worthy✨🎁🌎
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. It's heartbreaking to know that emotional struggles may have such a big impact on our life. Remember that sharing your experience can be extremely healing and may help others who are going through similar difficulties. Opening up about feelings and getting help is a brave step toward escaping the pattern of emotional suppression. Your comment is a reminder of the importance of addressing mental and emotional well-being. Thank you for sharing 🌟💕
I listen and learn so much common good here. Thank you and I am profoundly grateful. I recently set my boundaries higher, ended a long term marriage
& look 20 yrs younger , feel like I’m healing from the inside. Your insight is true. I will continue to learn and grow. I recognize my roll and surrender.
I profoundly cared for this person with compassion. With grace and compassion I had to let go. My house was built in the wrong person.
With grace I wish him a healthy recovery and many blessings. Thank you Dr. Mate.
Thank you very much for your kind thoughts and for sharing your experience with us. The desire you have to set up higher boundaries and prioritize your own well-being is extremely inspiring. It takes guts to accept change and healing, and your transformation shines through. I wish you continued success on your journey of learning, growth, and self-discovery. Your ability to let go with grace and compassion shows how strong you are within. I wish you a future full of healing, blessings, and fresh beginnings.🌟🙏✨🌈💖
I am really happy for you wish you all the best !❤️
@@yourinnerchildmatters yeah I now,tell them to my narcissist son Jonathan!
People who heal their trauma always look 10-20 years younger, odd phenomenon I realized
How do people heal their trauma
The ending of this video brought me to tears. Love, love Dr. Mate and listening to him.
I completely understand how you're feeling. Dr. Mate's wisdom and compassion have a special ability for touching both our minds and hearts. It's truly touching when you hear how his words can have such an impact. Thank you for sharing your emotional experience with us; it reminds us of the power of genuine connection and empathy. Get in touch with us if you want to discuss more of his work or anything else. I'm sending you virtual hugs🙏✨
Just heard of this man a few minutes ago and this is my story
Thank you for sharing your experience!
As an adult, I recently realized that I possibly had a sensitivity to sensory processes. I was very sensitive to certain materials, food textures, etc. I was made to feel that I was being ridiculous with my aversions, even though my skin itched and sometimes felt like it was burning. I learned very early on to suppress my feelings and my truth. I went from a narcissistic father to a narcissistic husband because I felt I was wrong and my feelings were ridiculous. I now know the truth and am moving on in my own healing!! ❤ Self love!!❤❤
It takes incredible bravery for you to share your journey with us, thank you. It's difficult to accept your own sensitivities, especially when you've been told they're not valid. You should be really proud of yourself for understanding the value of self-love and going on a journey of healing. Remember that you are not alone in this, and that there is a community of people who understand and support you including me.
Breaking free from the cycle of destructive relationships and self-doubt requires great strength. Your ongoing commitment to self-love is inspirational, and I hope your story inspires others to embrace their own truths and begin their own healing journeys. You deserve all of the happiness and peace that come from self-acceptance and self-compassion. ❤ Keep moving forward on this beautiful path of self-discovery and healing! ❤❤
Dr. G I’m grateful for all you give , your sharing knowledge that not only helps us become our best self we have space to love others through our own ownership, creating connection with others by understanding ourselves… it’s a humble gift in our lives- in our voice and truth we are free and we Love in such a new way. the ability to love ourselves creates the ability to grow, that is our purpose to discover how to heal and become our best selves, as many of us stay trapped in not knowing what is real- in what we can never understand within… what you don’t know you don’t know, you open a door to life for so many it’s the will to grow as the adult, the child becomes free….With a voice that matters, we all have a place here. thank you Dr Gabor you’re a Beautiful Gem…
Thank you very much for your kind words! It's truly inspiring to watch how Dr. Gabor's videos have influenced your life and helped you on your path of self-discovery and growth. Your words beautifully express the very essence of how understanding ourselves allows us to connect with and love others genuinely. Dr. Gabor's teachings are a simple yet profound gift that allows us to heal and grow into our best selves. Your admiration for his work shows the life-changing influence he has on so many people. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and being a part of this community. Continue to shine and grow! 🌟🌱
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Very delicate point : there is a very good reason why adults learn to control anger, and sometimes to suppress it, and Dr. Mate should have mentioned this, to balance his exhortation to ALWAYS express anger. Be careful about it. It’s true, what he is saying. But it’s a very fine balance.
You bring up an important part of emotion management. Dr. Mate's viewpoint emphasizes the need of acknowledging and dealing with anger, which can be quite empowering for many. However, you are completely right that there is an appropriate boundary between expressing and concealing anger. While it is important to recognize our feelings, it is also important to find appropriate outlets for and communication of our anger. This could include taking a step back to examine the underlying cause, employing mindfulness practices, or getting professional help when necessary. Emotions are complicated, and determining the best solution for each specific situation is important. Thank you for engaging to this thought-provoking topic✨💖
I think it's okay to always express your anger if you do it in a respectful way. Expressing rage is different, but anger is just saying you're boundary has been crossed and there's no problem with saying that to the person who crossed it.
@@whatbringsmepeace Yes, correct. Only thing is, good luck with coming up with the perfectly balanced, appropriate and respectful expression of anger every time… that would mean being perfect … I still haven’t met anyone like that.
@@tomlabooks3263 neither have I but now that I know how detrimental anger suppression is, I'd rather err on the side of being rude and walking away if I can't come up with a respectful boundary request.
@@whatbringsmepeace Good point. We’re all human. I’m also catholic, and I recently ordered a book that should be interesting “The angry christian”, about this topic as seen through the christian perspective. Massive mistake to confuse “being christian” with “being nice”!
They die because their blood gets sucked. What is left of humanity is rubbish. That is the inconvenient truth - that for rubbish people to succeed, they walk over those who are humane. Distribution of capital and recognition: make sure you weed out the trash and protect the kind, unless we collectively choose to pay and therefore value aggression, manipulation and sheer inner ugly. This is the only. Dr I deeply respect.
I listen with deep gratitude for recognizing that our inner life is mirrored precisely by our bodily conditions. I began calling this,"body symbology" back in the late 80s, related exactly to specific emotional states. Psychoneuroimmunology was brand new at the time. I perceived as a psychic that the adage, "As within, so without," was fact, in astounding ways.... In the 80s, the Recovery movement brought the "original pain" of the inner child, shamed, uncertain of his love ability and thus, his safety in the world: but the scientific world at large, wasn't listening. And how addictions were ways to cope with the sense of not belonging... not being safe to Be, ourSelves.... Gabor seems to be bringing many insights from a number of fields, and his own precious experience of trauma-- true for me as well--- to Light. It's always timely, much needed. Blessings to all.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your important views and personal story with us! It's wonderful to hear about your late-80s "body symbology" concept, especially in the context of psychoneuroimmunology. Your belief in the relationship between our inner and outside worlds, and how it connects to emotional states, matches Dr. Gabor's work brilliantly. It's nice to see how you acknowledged the significance of addressing the inner child's "original pain" and the role of addictions in coping with emotions of not belonging or not being safe to be ourselves. Your insight from those days has undoubtedly contributed to a better understanding of these challenges today. Dr. Gabor's perspectives, together with your own experiences, continue to shed light on these important problems. Your blessings are truly welcomed, and we value your participation in this ongoing discussion.🙏✨💖
So grateful I found your channel. I’ve been listening to snippets of the videos with Dr. Mate and they resonate so much. The end of this one regarding attachment and authenticity just brought tears to my eyes. Just shows me how much it does resonate with me.😢😓
Glad you like them!Your touching comment has truly touched me. It makes me happy to know that the content, particularly the discussions with Dr. Mate, has resonated with you. Tears are proof to the strength of genuine friendships and meaningful conversations. It's a lovely reminder of how connected we are all on our path to understanding attachment and authenticity. Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm grateful to have you as a member of this community. Your engagement are greatly appreciated, and I look forward to continue this journey with you. Stay inspired!! 💙🌟
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you so much.. from my heart to yours 🙏🏼🥹💜
It truly is wonderful to have found this community, so grateful for the loving hearts..🥰🥰
My parents did the right thing but said the wrong thing. I’m relieved they have gone. RIP ❤
🙏
Same here. They also rarely thought to say the right thing. Plenty of hyper-criticism and barely any encouragement or positive feedback. At 62, I still struggle with who I am, the result of far too long living in fear of what family would think about just about anything, getting along to get along, and not living authentically.
Thanks to Gabor, you are a real peacemaker 😊
Thank you for watching 😊
I was adopted at birth and raised by two loving parents, one sadly with narcissistic tendencies due to own trauma. All my life, I had to suppress myself heavily, because if I was my authentic self, e.g: exploring who I really am, my biological family and identity, my adopted parents just couldn't handle it. They couldn't handle their own unresolved pain, shame etc to start with, let alone another family's identity. So now at 35, all the suppressed emotions, attachment trauma and self abandonment has manifested itself in autoimmune disease, fibroid issues, mental health issues, food addiction and eating disorder.
If you are considering adopting, I'd say do a thorough assessment of your emotional, mental and physical health. Ask yourself, why do you want to adopt a child? Because just adopting a child to meet your needs is going to cost that child greatly. Adoption isn't all positive. Adoption is also trauma, is very painful, because of attachment disruption. There's a reason why there is a high number of adoptees in rehab centres.
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm deeply sorry for the pain you've experienced. Your advice is important and comes from a place of real experience. Adoption is complex and should be approached with care and understanding. I hope you find healing and support on your journey. Your voice matters and helps others understand the full picture of adoption.
Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes I'd love to use my voice to help many on sat. 😊Thank you for what you do too. ❤ @@yourinnerchildmatters
Thanks for this. Simple short video but says a lot abt humanity in this generation. Sad but true. People are losing their minds because they never had any authenticity and attachment in their lifetime. I’ve seen it as i’ve worked in a mental facility before
Absolutely, and I'm happy that you found the video useful! You've made an important insight concerning humanity's current situation. It is a complex issue, since a lack of authenticity and true connections can lead to a variety of problems, including mental health issues. Your experience working in a mental institution brings a practical perspective to this subject. Let us hope that as people and as a society, we can work together to create more meaningful connections and reestablish a feeling of authenticity in our interactions. Your insights are very valuable and help to deepen our understanding of these topics. 🙏✨💖
I never had attachment with both my parents.. only with my Gran..my support😢
Thank you❤
thank you too
One deeply moving clearly presented video by Dr Gabor. Thank you ❤
Glad it was helpful!
Anger! I never realized how much anger I had swallowed over the years that I was married. My therapist told me I couldn’t move forward in my life after divorce until I had processed all my emotions particularly ANGER. I never hated my ex but I was so angry 😤 at him for stealing my life and treating me like an option or totally invisible 🫥. He was starting over with a girlfriend who had babies. A do over family. While his own kids were wondering what the hell happened and was it something they did? He refused to talk to them before he left. What a dad, the effects took years to smooth over for our kids. Alcoholic, workaholic same disease different venue. Nobody left untouched.
Hello there! Thank you for sharing a powerful and meaningful journey with us. It takes big courage to address and handle emotions like anger, especially after a major life event like divorce. Your therapist's advise on processing these emotions is true; it's a necessary step toward moving ahead and healing. It's painful that your ex's actions had such a deep impact on you and your children. Hearing how their world was turned upside down is sad. Your perseverance in easing over the impacts for your children is admirable, and it shows much about your commitment as a parent.
Remember that you are not alone in this. Sharing your story not only helps you heal, but it also reaches out to others who may be going through a similar experience. Your bravery in speaking up might inspire and soothe individuals who are managing their own emotions during difficult times. Continue to focus on your own recovery and growth, and believe that better days are ahead. 💪🌟Sending lots of virtual hugs to you. 💖💖💖💖
Hi! Very interesting! I am very strange, very different and I wonder why. I have experienced trauma us a todler, seen agressivity and sorrow, lost my dad, my mum got depressed. I am very HSP, but I have good self esteem and self confidence. I am not afraid of my emotions. I do not care much about what people think of me. I follow my instinct. When I am sad (grief) I can cry and howl for days, shout out the pain. When I am angry with a person I tell them. I am happy. I trust people. I like to connect deeply with people, but most of them do not, sadly. It feels like the trauma has not traumatized me. Why do I not suppress anger and sadness? I would like to understand why.
It's truly inspiring to hear about your story and the amount of determination you've shown in overcoming all the challenges you've faced. Being capable of to embrace and share your feelings in such a true and fearless manner indicates the strength that you possess. Your instinct to stay connected with others is a beautiful characteristic, even if not everyone reciprocates that level of connection. It's a wonderful journey you've taken to navigate through trauma and not let it repress your emotions. Remember that everyone's reaction to trauma is different and how well you're able to process your feelings freely may be due to your strong sense of self and emotional awareness. Keep going to embrace your feelings and follow your instincts - it's a great way to live authentically. 💖💖💖
@@yourinnerchildmatters 😘😘😘
Keep fighting the good fight Kristi, you are loved my friend. I wish you all the best in your journey, much love)
I wonder if anyone ever think's that their parent's could have also been conditioned to act the way they did, and could have been unable to express themselves. They may have very much wsnted to be loving, but didn't know how to be emotionally available. Forgive because everyone has their story and the baggage heaped on them, and who can we blame it's a cycle. How far back in the family generation's can we go to pinpoint where it all began ? We can't we are human and not perfect, forgive, and ask God to heal us all 🙏 we all fail, everyone, love is the answer, and to love the unlovable is the ultimate love 💖
You've absolutely nailed it! It's important to remember that our parents, like us, may have had obstacles and boundaries. Forgiveness and love have the ability to break the pattern and heal. Thank you for giving such an insightful viewpoint! 🙏💖
I have a real problem with this comment. First of all, what makes you think we dont know why our parents are the way they are? Don't condescend. I'm the family historian. I know why my father was the way he was. I know why my mother is the way she is. Both had multiple severe traumas by the time they were 10. Severe, the kind that trauma specialists write case studies about. I know why my ex is the way he is. Emotionally unavailable parents and raised by an emotionally abusive sibling.
You know what? I. DON'T. CARE. And I'm not interested in forgiveness!
@@SuzannaLiessa
I'm going to throw this in here, because it comes from a more objective viewpoint. Before abuse made it impossible for me to hold space, I worked as a trauma-based therapist. All my training is based in trauma, and I was taught that diagnosis is done in this order: look for trauma, then medical issues, then mental health. I had a lot of clients walk in with various kinds of trauma, or difficult family situations, or we would do some digging and find trauma. The biggest obstacle we ran into as we worked on healing was some version of, "I should forgive and I am ashamed that I cannot forgive."
I know you mean well but this kind of thought is spiritual bypassing. It does not promote healing but promotes suppression even more. We all KNOW that our parents have also been conditioned and have their own trauma, but until we all have truthfully faced what has happened to us and how it has affected us, we will never truly heal from it. It is only after we have faced and acknowledged it, then we can truly choose to forgive and give it to God. Heck if you want a verse, here it is. When you know the truth, the truth will set you free. Yes, the truth is Jesus, and also the truth in all things, in this case about what happened in one's life.
Beliefs and practices that bypassing the difficult process of processing the emotions and facing the truth, is more damaging than good.
I love Dr. Gabor! ❤
thanks for watching 💕🙏✨
Thank you so much you are a great teacher ❤️
thank you for watching🙏✨💖
A great doctor . Truly !!!!
Indeed, thanks for watching 💕🙏✨
Past three weeks I'm seeing a therapist to resolve my issues of talking my mind.. My mother never allowed us to express my opinions, will power or my choices.when i was angry, sad, disappointed.. i was asked to shut up and just listen. Now I'm 46 and when anybody yells at me, or even confront me..nothing comes out of my mouth.. There are thoughts but they get locked in the throat.. Nothing comes out..
I'd like to start by congratulating you on taking the brave step of seeking therapy to address your issues with self-expression. It's clear that you've been carrying the weight of suppressed emotions and unheard thoughts for a long time, and confronting and working through these deeply rooted patterns takes huge courage.
Your story resonates to many people, highlighting the huge impact that early childhood traumas can have on our ability to communicate and express ourselves as adults. It's distressing to hear of your long period of silence, feeling unable to express your thoughts and emotions. Remember that healing is a process, and it's great to learn that you've begun it with counseling. The fact that you're addressing this issue at 46 demonstrates wonderful resilience and determination. Please be patient with yourself; unlearning these behaviors and finding your voice takes time.
Meanwhile, work to surround yourself with helpful and understanding people who will allow you to express yourself at your own pace. Your journey to healing and self-discovery is valuable, and I really hope that you find the freedom to express yourself in a way that brings you peace and joy. Thank you for sharing this very personal aspect of your life with us. Your vulnerability and bravery are truly inspirational.
Best regards from Your Inner Child Matters Channel 💫💕🙏✨
@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you for these reassuring words. They mean really a lot.
@@shashikalasatish5051 thank you so much too, take care always 💖💖💖
So needed to hear
thank you so much for watching!
It's learning about the current true environment and being outraged, and not being able to express it healthy.
thanks for sharing your insights 🙏✨💖
I appreciate this explanation
Glad it was helpful! thanks for watching, have a nice day! 💖💖
Brilliant man⭐️ Thank you🙏
Thanks for listening 💖💖💖
When I was born and couple of years after it the only one Who believed I would survive was the granny of my father. Luckily she was securely attached. No doubt about that.
Granny's intuition is very wonderful! Her unconditional faith in you must to have been a huge source of strength for you. It's lovely to hear how her secure attachment helped your journey. 🙏💕
People should learn to listen !😊 9:21
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@@yourinnerchildmatters I think sometimes we are all children of a lesser God !
Thank you 🙏
You’re welcome 😊 thanks for watching, bless you 💖
Dr Maté has made enormous contributions to the discourse on trauma, emotional well-being and health. That's indisputable. However, how do you square his thesis that unresolved trauma and repressed pain are direct causes of chronic illness when considering all the young children who suffer from chronic illnesses like cancer? Is every 2, 3 or 4-year old child suffering from cancer repressing trauma? Seems unlikely. It's tempting to believe that if we can just correct our internal psychological and emotional pain we will shield ourselves from debilitating chronic illness, yet clearly there are more variables at work than ONLY trauma and emotional pain. I completely believe that a positive and healthy psyche promote general well-being, but if it were as significant as Dr Maté implies, theoretically some people should never get sick and instead live forever. When you game out his thesis like this, it becomes clear that everything is not as simple as he implies. I want to hear Dr Maté's response to these honest questions. To that point, it's very surprising that not a single host has ever asked.
Hello there! Thank you for engaging with Dr. Maté's views and raising some interesting points. You've raised an important question about the relationship between trauma and chronic illness, particularly in the context of young children with cancer.While Dr. Maté's viewpoint emphasizes the impact of unresolved trauma and emotional distress on health, it is important to note that the development of chronic illnesses is impacted by a variety of factors, including genetics, environmental exposure, and chance. Dr. Maté's framework of view does not always imply that every case of chronic illness is the result of suppressed trauma. Instead, he may be emphasizing the possible significance of emotional well-being in overall health. While it may not be the only determinant, developing a happy and healthy psyche may lead to higher overall well-being and can even help in the prevention of some health problems.
Regarding the assumption that some people may never become ill if emotional and psychological variables were the only determinants, it's important to remember that health is a complex combination of many factors. Dr. Maté's viewpoint could be considered as an addition to our understanding of health rather than a complete explanation.It's also worth mentioning that the lack of hosts questioning Dr. Maté on these specific points does not necessarily indicate a lack of curiosity or thoughtful inquiry. Interviews are frequently time-limited, and topics can be focused to specific areas of an individual's work. Thanks once again and bless you💫💕
now that epigenetics are being taken more seriously, that can explain why children suffer chronic illnesses as well. I think it’s tantamount that parents do their best to manage their emotions healthily BEFORE having children.
The aspect of reincarnation and karma has to be factored in. Dr Mate generally seems to stay within the mainstream medical model, understandably, as that is his area of expertise. Most people want concrete proofs to back up what they’re hearing about.
@@kathadax thanks for sharing your thoughts
What talk is this from?
Childhood Will Die Because This Situation...😔😔😔😔
🙏✨💖
Does this lead to addiction?
So what you are saying is if you are truly fed up with this dream, hold on to your anger, you’ll die sooner. I think I’ll go on a silence.
thanks for sharing your thoughts 💫💕🙏✨💖
Isn’t it natural to not hold attention for uninteresting things tho?
I don’t know how I made it. I was ignored and beaten as an infant...and still alive,
but don’t ask me how.
💫💕🙏
Where would anyone be without the nice, agreeable, secretly bitter people (=moms), I wonder???
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I think one of reason is anger not effective. Imagine you express anger towards someone and two people fight consistently. It will become more and more anger 😠 😡 👿 ruin life.
Anger is because frustration. If we Mindful about it. Find better way to solve problem. Anger will be reduced.
You are absolutely right! Anger frequently escalates conflicts and makes them worse. It's great that you acknowledge that dissatisfaction is frequently at the basis of anger. Being aware and pursuing constructive solutions are effective ways to lessen anger and increase happiness in our lives. Maintain your self-awareness and personal growth!😊🌟
❤❤❤❤❤T. U.
💕 💕 💕 thank you so much too.
What was Lou Gehrigs childhood like?
Guess I could read his book!
Me.🖐
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❤
💖
Suppressed anger is treated with homeopathic remedy staphysagria !
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Not asking for help ? I don’t think thad is the problem, In Belgium 🇧🇪 if you ask for help they feeling harselared ooh then tell , Hey you now we can put you in prison for 25 years 6:35 because you are asking for help ! What do you think abouth Heathcare in Belgium 🇧🇪 great is it not !😊 8:18
This makes me so mad. Why are you faulting people for their kindness and sense of civic duty and obligation? We can't function as a civil society without following fair rules. Why wouldn't you place blame on all the jackasses who take advantage of people's kindness and who are maliciously and intentionally ignoring and violating people's boundaries as well as the laws of our society? Like cancer that violates the normal of a functioning body, so do the assholes of our world.
Babies need attachment to the mama bc they have no concept of self-awareness until they're at least 1 year old. They believe that they and their mama are one and the same. This is why they cannot survive and why children who were denied attachment as babies have Disassociation Syndrome and are, to no fault of their own, somewhat sociopathic. The fault absolutely does not lay with the kind person, but with all the malicious and narcissist people who take advantage of other people for their own gain, and who sickly derive pleasure from watching good people suffer. Yes, I believe in boundaries, but you must realize that the reason we need them is bc, like the fortifications of a medieval castle, boundarues keep out the bad shitheads who are trying to make you crumble so they can ransack your heart and soul, pillage, rape, and murder all that you have and all that you are. How about preaching to people to stop being assholes? I guess that's impossible bc those people are sociopaths who either have an underdeveloped frontal cortex matched with an overdeveloped amygdala, or whose childhood trauma created a monster.
thank you for sharing your honest thoughts, much appreciated 🙏✨💖
If this is related to modern day Christians, I’m rebuking in the name of the true sprit of Jesus existence.
me to a T