Unmasking Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Their Abuse with RUTH JACOBS in CAMBRIDGE, UK (In the Booth)
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- Опубліковано 13 лют 2014
- Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited (www.narcissistic-abuse.com), shares his knowledge and personal experience of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
"In the Booth with Ruth - Sam Vaknin, author of Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited" Filmed by Paul Henley (www.scarylion.co.uk) & Produced by Matthew Lynch (www.jlfilmandmedia.com)
www.ruthjacobs.co.uk
He is brilliant. Not many people have that capacity of self awareness.
@@theSpiritofTamzin Neither did I. Narcissism and self awareness are supposed to be mutually exclusive. But his understanding, sounds to me, also is coming from his own realization, and not only his expansive learning.
Of course, I'm not an expert in his field. And maybe, they do emulate this well...
Narcissists and self-awareness samvak.tripod.com/2.html
@@AlexAlcyone I wondered about that myself. Her idea of an ultimate reward or validation? Sounds kinda narcissistic lol.
I agree, it's very rare in this world.
Do bloat the ego.... Lol jk Sam I think you are a brilliant person, your helping people. Although still I am on the fence about your narrcassit traits, as I am autistic like most i like lables "call it as you see it" I just don't think you are anything like the narrcassit i ran into or was raised by. I see a soul in you not like the others
And you can't love someone enough to fix them, either.
Ty, Sam. Your site helped me more than did my therapist eight years ago!
Jim Griffin Sam's book helped me light years at the time in understanding my relationship as well - well said, actually the more you love them the more they walk on you..
Jim Griffin I
Many therapists are useless. Especially now that many study Psychology to try and diagnose there own problems. Many with very Low Esteem.
They will come across as too nice to be true or unfeeling types.
One just as bad as the other. The too nice to be true are the really dangerous.
@Master Bei Shen True. Unfortunately that is the way our Society is. All fields!
@@DrShawnaFreshwater
Its not just there Training. So many of them have very low Self Esteem of there own.
They may be OK for some purely routine Jobs but hopeless as Analysts and Counsellors.
Amazing, I was married to a narcissist for 40 yrs. Never heard I’m sorry,or even why he did what he did. This man is a rare bird for sure. Narcissist’s are unable to respond to the damage they do,they seem almost numb. Thanks for the video,I’ve learned quite a lot.
I am so happy I am out of this relationship just 2 days ago- he threatened that he would physically harm me. And he had done it once, but I was foolish enough to believe he would change. Thank god this hell lasted for only 4 months. Don't trust people about whom your gut feeling goes berserk, people. Have some faith in yourselves. Don't make my mistakes.
That was a very insightful interview. It actually makes me very sad for those people suffering with BPD & NPD, but not sad enough to ever let another one near me again, that's how they reel you in.
Yes I agree
Amen and well said!
I wouldn't liken someone with borderline to a narcissist like that though. They're fucking difficult people to deal with, but they don't run around looking for victims. There isn't the malice that you can find with NPD.
As Carl Jung said, put all your ignorant theories behind you and witness their actual soul. Something I bet that is very difficult for the misinformed and unread “pro-science” teenagers of UA-cam commentville.
@@beverlyhills8988they pose the same threats to the well-being of others so that distinction doesn’t matter much.. if at all.
God had a plan for you Sam. We are so grateful for you in our community. Thank you & much respect.
You can’t love someone enough to fix them.
narcissists HATE love ,they hate being loved also
@@SRBOMBONICA86 I have been very damaged and found a similarly damaged partner who lavished me with extraordinary love and care. I eventually gave the same in return and we made each others needs of equal importance. We enjoyed such a deep bond and sweet love together for 20 years in our marrriage. It was the only time I was really happy in life and was always taken care of after a child hood of negect. You can help and undrstand eachother.
@@janedoe7315 that's wonderful...happy for you
The most typical criteria is that they never admit that there is something wrong with them, they blame others. He is unusual in that respect.
@R J hmmmm......I don’t consider myself a fan of him.... Neither a victim of a narcissist...... However, you really made me think it over about his real intention. Yeah.... Tricky....I also have a question. So you think there is no way a narcissist could ever change or try to overcome his narcissist personality disorder? I think he actually found a good way to deal with it without torturing others.
@@orsolyaritter7292 its impossible,trust me,I have NPD,it never goes away,for us its better to be away from people and for others is better also
Some of them are actually aware of their issue. And they are very proud of it, they consider themselves as “unique”, “special”. They don’t try eliminate their “bad behavior” until there is a real big threat to their way of life. Until that moment they make people to deal with their “bad behavior”.
@@xBINARYGODx IF there is any way for a Narc to help others to identify, understand and most importantly BEWARE OF narcissists and narcissistic abuse then, even if it provides narcissistic supply for this person, let him have it, regardless of his motivation. In this manner he/she will obtain necessary supply while being their most unlikely to harm others. This man seems to have struck this balance. He is broken and he knows it and his channel for obtaining supply is most admirable and almost seemingly unprecedented in the world of NPD. Bravo.
My mom never saw me as separate from her. I guess I picked up on that early. When I was 9, I announced to my parents that I realized that I didn't really exist.
What did you do after?
This interview with Sam is the best, most insightful overview of NPD and BPD I have seen or heard in my 12 years of researching, reading, and studying the cluster B personality disorders. A must-see for victims of domestic violence whose abuser is suspected of having a personality disorder.
Came here to say exactly this. This guy is from another 🌎 world.
And if so don’t you suspect ? How can he be a ‘true’ narcissist. He may be self aware but to this extent? I have my doubts.
i think they are highly represented in the medical field ..
Jenny Derksen
very Truthful
The co-dependents and empaths are also highly represented. When I started t o research covert narcissism, I was amazed by so many therapists sharing what they had gone through in these relationships, and many openly admitting their co-dependence.
Very prevalent in the Specialist Doctor area.
Very prevalent in USA Politics.
@@natashaevsimon1441 yes. And i think counterdependents are highly represented there as well 👍
Lawyers, drs., upper management, principals, police, politicians, clergy, pta moms- they are fu@king everywhere .
along with DID, borderline and personality disorders the abused child can develop ptsd untreated throughout life can become complex.
Thank you for your willingness to be honest.
I never thought I'd say this but he has changed my life .
Vivienne Johnston are you narcissist?
This is one of the best explanations I've ever heard.
I am from an Extreme abusive home and I'm codependent, PTSD etc.....I never had a real childhood. I feel cheated and angry. When you date a
Narc they are exciting in the beginning and the treatment feels
Familiar because that's all you knew growing up is abuse.The ups and downs of dating the Narc usually wears you out and mentally breaks you all the way down. You are a toy in the Narc FUN HOUSE. Run and throw away the Key. I'm NARC
FREE!!!
Read about inverted narcissists: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq66.html
@@samvaknin Can you do more videos on the inverted narcissists? I hate how codependent personality types act as though our personalities are not damaging as well. All the focus is on the Narc did this, the narc did that but we actually reward Narc behavior and crave it because we get to be the victim even though we are abusing too.
I can relate to that personally Elmer, that is why I really don't enjoy interacting with people much, and why I do not trust people easily either.
Wow incredible woman. Strong beyond belief.
Thank you for sharing! Xx!
my god, this guy's brilliant
Sofia Dorrell RIGHT
Absolutely! I am only ten minutes in and cannot believe what I'm hearing given my own experience having been married to a malignant narcissist. His intelligence and ability to impart knowledge is astounding, no matter what else you might think of him otherwise. I'm just hoping to be able to get a transcript because every word is so worthy of writing down.
@@disme2072 IMO to say someones brain being broken from their own soul is a choice is actually a really pathetic way to re-victimize oneself over and over continually again. But what do i know? I am merely learning from the same world
Yes
Well because , within him there might be a character, only he knows about.
Great analogy, "it makes no difference whether the child is put on the pedestal or the pedestal is put on the child"
It’s a true privilege to watch this interview between two courageous, intelligent, authentic / self-aware individuals. I have immense respect for them both.
I was married to a narcissist and did not know it until a few days ago. I was married to a man for 17 years and always thought something was wrong with me, my daughters. I always wondered why he didn't love us. He was cold hearted, arrogant, umempathetic, could ignore a person for "months" at a time and wouldn't care who was hurt by the behavior. He is very intelligent, cognitively. I was used. The marriage was the 2nd for us, each. He had 4 children and i had one. He and his four, treated my child like she was filth on the floor. He and his girls (yes, all girls) treated the both of us the same the last few years. Once the last child (his) graduated from high school, he had his plan to get rid of me. I was hit with divorce papers within 2 months. He once told me in his anger as i tried to stand up against his foul treatment, "Do you know who you are talking to? I am a DOCTOR!!!" He had affairs with other ladies, i found out after the divorce. But for some dumb reason, i wanted to have him back!!!
Being with this man caused me to hate my daughter, myself and life. Now that i am familiar with this personality, i am now feeling i can move on and not have to be bombarded with thoughts of "what's wrong wth me? What went wrong? He found someone else who looks better, etc." Whomever gets him at this point will see the same arrogance once the charm is gone and the real person is released... I now understand that the signs i saw were not just schizophenia and bi-polar tendencies. But the label of narcissism is most appropriate. With what i lived through, i understand fully why his former wife's relatives say he could've killed her. Not saying he took a gun and shot her and hid the evidence... However, he could've emotionally devastated her to the point where her body couldn't take anymore of his foul treatment. There is evidence that people die from being emotionally abused and having a broken heart.
Thanks for this important unmasking of knowledge you have poured out. It is like therapy. One day i want to be able to share with the world the hurt my child and i suffered. The abuse we suffered has got to be used to inform people of what type monsters these personalities can be if they don't find ways to get out of the way. But most of all, get your biological children away from them. They can be hurt in ways that could shatter their self-worth beyond repair...
Elizaveta Z ... I’m sure you are pleased with your clever assessment but you come off as immature and just plain nasty. You also show your ignorance about narcissistic abuse. Get a clue.
I can feel you
The real victim here is your daughter.
I know what it is…..i really know…..
If Narcissus had simply leaned over the water, checked his teeth, gave his hair the once-over, smiled and went about his day, he’d have a healthy degree of reflection and self esteem. Instead, he could not stop gazing at his reflection, fell in and drowned. Thank you, Mr. Vaknin.
Narcissist are not happy thats the false self and different masks but when that mask fall off their super angry and mad
False Self samvak.tripod.com/faq48.html Masks samvak.tripod.com/narcissismemotional.html
Yeah i noticed today im unmasking a coworker to my colleagues and he discards me all the time sais i have isues my heart pounding but i didn't show an inch of my feeling still tears me appart i get them to see how he really is it's so hard to let them see that but i must be patient but i feel i have no time to lose please give me some advice im scared for my loved ones thank you
Latonya Davis yes the only genuine emotion I ever saw from my ex was his rage. Everything else was artificial
Always
Agreed. This was one of the clearest talks by Sam Vaknin I've seen so far, but I didn't get him when he said narcissists go happy through their lives. Even Hitler, who went very far, was getting more and more anxious as the war drew to its end. Even Sam, who is so resourceful, hit rock-bottom three times. Narcissists don't only do harm to others but to themselves too.
The self-fulfilling irony of life is that the most defensive mechanisms are often the most destructive mechanisms. Narcissism is the biggest defense frenzy the world will ever know. The tragedy is that the protective shield that should maintain the user's well-being actually helps drain it not just from them but others too. If such a repercussion never existed the world would be a lot better place.
Thank you for making these videos, they are very insightful and will benefit many.
yes indeed
🙏said well
I'm going to screenshot this. Amazing philosophy here. Thank you
This is so insightful! I've known a number of narcissists in my lifetime and I've always suspected that they each had dysfunctional upbringings.
This video reminds me of a person I once knew who had to be the best at everything. He exuded supreme confidence, was extremely arrogant and ultra-competitive. He would always boast about his academic achievements and sexual conquests. I was on friendly terms with him but hated his high-handed behaviour. I later found out that he had been sexually abused as a child. He revealed that his abuser had been tracked down by the police and that he'd been summoned to testify in court. I remember seeing his air of confidence completely diminish to the point that he was a shivering, tearful wreck.
All the resentments I had held against him completely evaporated. I never saw him again as he moved away but I really hope he's ok now.
Holy crap, that's the most powerful I've heard this year!
I left home in 1976 at age 15. I have PTSD probably because i grew up in an abusive and violent home environment. When i left home my then 8 year old sister took my place as being the caregiver of the family. We have an irresponsible and emotionally abusive and neglectful mother.
We reunited in 1986 but i felt no connection towards my parents and distant towards my siblings except for this sister coz i knew she had it really bad growing up. I always give her something whenever we see each other.
My other younger sister thinks she was sexually molested as a child
2018 Nov was when i discovered that she had been triangulating my other siblings and discovered she told lies about me to my then 24 year old daughter.
I stop seeing her for two years then last year 2018 i confronted her about her evil behavior and lo and behold i discovered her incoherence and that is when i searched about NPD. She is a malignant covert Narcissist.
They are liars and thieves, envious and jealous
I am at a loss being the eldest in the family and the target of her rage ( due to envy) how can i help her seek therapy.
She is down and out financially due to mishandling of her finances
Survivor Vibe what you can do to help her is pray that she acknowledges her Mental state & stay away & keep your mind healthy because it can get the best of you worrying about family who don’t want to get mental help for themselves.
Almeta Redmond
Thank you.
There is no mention here of the codependents who are abused. Let’s not forget them!
🤔He said he hurt all in his life.
This made me cry..he describes it all in ways I never knew how to put into words. He is so very right...the part that makes me sad is I can think back to ppl who I've detested because they were narcissistic and actually attribute their behavior to being that empty shell that they in no way purposely caused on themselves as children. It is so sad to have your sense of self stripped and extinguished, and end up becoming some falsehood just to endure the pain of that loss. This explains why people seem one way in the beginning of a relationship, and then over time as he said, the narcissist takes over...I know full and well how it feels. Your false self senses the fear and danger and takes action as soon as a relationship reaches a certain point. I know as soon as I think I have someone I really don't want to lose, I become so afraid that I'm gonna mess it up and they're going to abandon me, and I'm going to lose the very thing making me happy. I just want to actually be happy and not have to fear losing it, because happiness in my past is something I rarely ever really truly felt. If I were ever happy, someone, usually my own mother, had to SQUASH it right out of me, like I never once deserved it.
Carbfiend Jack Oh wow, that post was a year ago, I've changed a lot, can hardly believe I typed that :O
Yay for growth!
Clinton Springer I was probably a codependent more than narcissist, but with certain narcissistic tendencies that would surface at specific times. I've been working on it since I made that post, I keep to myself and not depend on others for happiness. :)
My son has Aspergers syndrome and he shows all the characteristics of NPD, I mean ALL. The two are connected. I read lately a book called "10% Human" which can explain so many types of brain dysfunction. I recommend the book, it is very enlightening.
szebibi, Some ADD & ADHD have common traits as well... there seems to be connections.
@@szebibi I see no reason to jump to that conclusion currently. Having a like symptom does not equal same root cause. It would be fascinating if you could illustrate other reasons to come to this conclusion than symptom or co-morbidity.
I could always tell when my ex narc was lying as soon as she started talking
Sam your videos are the absolute best on the subject. I especially like the concise way that the information is presented. Thank you so much for sharing your work in such a helpful and meaningful way.!!
Most sincerely, Margaret.
HaaHaaHaaa
The speaker has delivered the most devastatingly accurate and poetic condemnation of narcissists I have encountered thus far. It appears however there is a cure for narcissism after all, self-awareness, or at least something that acts like a control rod in a nuclear reactor.
This is the best explanation. I have ever seen . Just love his clarity
This mans a gift to all on both sides of NPD , the abused and the abusers. If your ready to hear his genius
OMGGGGGGGGG, finally - I got it!!!!!!!!!!
This is me!
Now I can begin the work of modifying the behaviors that I thought were healthy.
Thank you 🙏
What he has done in this interview is to provide a warning signal to potential victims of abusers. We cannot stop every evil nor should we even avenge it, but we can and do have the right to be on our guard against abusers who wear the "mask of sanity"
Well said. I really wish I knew about this stuff before I fell victim to one who took 2 years of my life, then God knows how much more time its going to take to heal from it. The emotional trauma I endured and still continue to is so painful i wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. It would be nice if they started to teach about it in school so kids can have the knowledge to spot this behavior in hopes they do not fall victim. Some days I even wonder if I will ever get over the damage she caused. Whats even more sad is they prey on the weak and vulnerable and slowly over time break them down and make them question their own sanity. To me, this is evil at it's purest.
GS S I lost 20+ years and had to raise his child alone. The first time I didn't know what it was, but I was tricked and abused when pregnant. I left and raised my son alone. It took 5 years to feel normal. The second time, I fell prey again. Now I educate myself and try to heal my childhood wounds, so I won't attract another one. I try to raise my vibration and continue healing and isolate from the world. Now I'm aware of them and can spot them more quickly. The predators rule the planet including psychopaths!! Disgusting! Studies show the numbers are dramatically increasing.
@@sweettartgoodstuff438 How were you tricked and abused when pregnant? I'm worried I might be in the same situation..
Thank you for producing one of the very few videos I've seen that actually tries to humanise the narcissist. I have noticed almost all of the chat lines, videos comments etc. villainize and bully the narcissist by the hundreds of thousands of victims apparently. Very insightful video which unfortunately leaves me with little hope. There must be more of us than I ever imagined.
I learned the most from Dr Sam Vaknin on the topic of narcissim. I'm so thankful for his brilliance and for being so forthcoming.
17:20 This is probably one of the clearest explanations of the origins of a personality disorder that you're likely to find online. As someone who is now long in remission from BPD, hearing this has helped me so much. It is great that Dr Vaknin speaks publicly about this. Whether he's listened to is another matter...
In my eyes, you're a warrior - you've owned the actions of your consequences and creating awareness of NPD, directly from a sufferer of NPD. Thank you for your service and going against the typical grain of those with NPD, who believe they are never at fault. My wish for you, is to reap what you're sowing now, being real happiness and love. I'm a victim of narcissistic abuse and I respect your willingness for other victims to receive affirmation on some level as well as answers to what happened to us.
It’s so sad that he had to go through everything he did and now is really trying to help. He’s so good even though he claims to be terrible. I like this guy a lot.
I'm thankful more research was made, and light was shed on the subject of narcissism.
I agree, Sam Vaknin, you are brilliant! I found this video to be very helpful. Thank you for your work & contribution toward helping people understand these complex personality disorders.
This explains more than it seems at first.
Darn, I have been going to church and realizing how many are narcissists. After being married to one, and not understanding, I can see it now in clergy, media, hollywood, and politicians. Thanks for this video.
My respects Mr. Vaknin. Your honesty, knowledge, self examination and eloquence is a great help to people.
The most on point information I have ever heard, and the reason because he suffered through this. Sometimes what you have been through is a blessing to yourself and others.
I just found you. I am so excited to learn more and finally understand how and if I can have a relationship with my father. Honestly I'm afraid of him. He is a psychopath narcissist. I stop talking to him, then I feel guilty for not talking to him, reach out, and then remember why I had stopped talking to him in the first place. This cycle happens over and over again... It is so toxic.
Thank you so very much for this channel and for being so open.
This was intense and thought provoking! Thank you for your candor.
Listening to this and it's fascinating and enlightening.
scary too
Your brilliance Sam, is that you are concise and deliver in a simplicity that is easy to understand. This is a testament to your care and concern for us. This is not the voice and the verbiage of a narcissist.
Thank you Sam I wish I could have found your videos long ago.. But I am glad I found them now.. Such valuable work.. Helping me to break a horrific cycle and become stronger :-).. Finally awake at age 44.. You and others like you who speak out and help me to understand the dynamics of what has happened to me are central to my recovery.once again thank you.
Thank you for your timely insight and information. You are one of the most truthful and knowledgeable people I have ever watched on UA-cam and I'm eternally grateful that I found you. Well wishes from Australia.
Unfailingly brilliant, insightful, honest, and in the end practical.. Sam Vankin is an amazing man.. who has elevated the motive of self knowledge, to a body of knowledge of being.
unfortunately one has to hit rock bottom....until they are open to look into a mirror and admit about themselves.
When they hit rock bottom is because the abused was so depressed and left the abuser . Rock bottom takes a second, mostly the new supply is already there for a new cycle of abuse. I left, ex walks in. Done deal. Nothing happened cause you have never existed. When a cow doesn’t give enough milk, it’s the slaughter house. That’s a fact.
When I got surgery for carpal tunnel syndrome on both wrists, nearly died the same day and rushed back to hospital, he said to me a few days later “now that you are handicapped I will need to replace you”. 14 days later I left and never went back.
It is a personality disorder. Simply change their personality. See how that works!
The lucidity with which this is discussed is really very moving, and points to the possibility of life improving. It's not meant to minimize how folks with this personality characteristic have to deal with this world, but to express my amazement at the extraordinary ability to look at one's self as objectively as you must have had to do. You have my immense respect for this accomplishment.
Absolutely fantastic and enlightening conversation. Good job as always Sam.
My little son with autism just made my bed while I was in hospital. My Asperger's dad big thing was fighting for human rights as a lawyer. I think it's a misconception that people with Aspergers and autism lack empathy. Some may. I DO think both my son and father process empathy in a kind of strange and off beat different way. But they have it.
Thank you!!
Symptoms do not equal same root causes.
And variance is a great (easy) place to start in illustrating this to the public. It is simply too medical a fact to be commonly aware of still yet. That a same symptom does not equate the pathology or the treatment/outcome.
Yes, many autistics do have empathy, some are extemely empathic. They can have problems to regulate because of it. Other people often don't recognise empathy in autistics, because autistics express it different. For example, when a friend gets left by their partner, most people would comfort them and say things like 'you deserve better' or 'you will find someone better', while the autist would say 'have you found a new place to stay?' As they are concerned about the practical impact on the persons life and they want to fix that for the person, but this can be perceived as unempathic, while actually it is very kind.
Some high functioning autists have narcissistic pathology. Manipulative, abusive, controlling and petty. I unfortunately, speak from experience. I think it’s important not to become offended just because some of the ND community are afflicted by this personality disorder. Just as some of the NT community are afflicted, too.
This was a fascinating interview. Very candid and informative. Helps me understand my ex better, myself and differentiate different forms of co-mobility. Thanks you!
Great interview! Dr. Vaknin, thank you for being a pioneer and for your contributions to the study of narcissism. Your work is helping so many.
Great interview Sam! The only thing I might mention is that although there is no cure...just being a narc and realizing that you are one is a HUGE step in helping yourself in the future to have a (slightly) better life and a better life for those that surround you. Keep up the fascinating work, the world needs you Sam! Thank you.
Not true: samvak.tripod.com/2.html
Thank you Sam for your honesty and all your diligent expansive research. I'm reading your book, and have found it most helpful. Knowledge is power!
I read your book years ago, but only today found you online. Truly wonderful to listen to what you have to say. I have been binge-watching.
Much respect for this guy having such a selfish self entitled destructive disorder and getting help which is very rare if unheard of to do this and be open and help people is amazing it's so interesting to here the insight of someone with this disorder
Thank you for your courage to investigate yourself and the Manhood in your diagnosis to work for the betterment of Humanity! Salute Professor!
So sad to lose someone we love dearly because they are unable to see what is wrong with them....thank you doctor for your honesty and all the hard work!!!!
24:19 A very honest statement. No psychologist or psychotherapist will tell you that!
Good catch
This is the most insightful and profoundly helpful interview for me to understand my adult life with my family.
Incredibly informative overview that gives us a guide to identify what we could be dealing with. Also gives us a reason that these disorders occur. I have always been inquisitive & always want to know, 'why'? I have thanked you a few times already for your contribution, especially to us confused & hurt victims, & i want to Thank You Again!! You are an Invaluable resource. I listen to you almost daily to remind me he'll Never change & it's not my fault, i'm not an awful, unlovable person. It gives me knowledge which gives me strenght. You saved me in a matter of speaking. No therapist, Domestic Violence counseling really is equipped to deal with this. But they all say what you say, he'll Never change, get away from him!!
Thank you for such an enlightening, succinct and informative content. I am suffering from a narcissistic abuse and this video helped me understand the situation so much better. So detailed and thoroughly articulated yet succinct and straight to the main points!
Haha "its pains me to say that Im a typical narcissist" and that smile. Seriously, a great service to the rest of us by helping us with his insight into himself. Not at all easy.
Brave man...
Sam is the most important person to listen to on this subject if wishing to learn about the personality type.
I have never seen a Narc be introspective! Very interesting indeed!
Most narcissists are self-aware and all humans introspect
samvak.tripod.com/2.html
samvak.tripod.com/faq49.html
This is the most remarkable presentation of information on Narcissism I have, during my many miles of research, been blessed to access. I will watch it again, and then again, and I will get "smarter" about this sadness than I would have been had I thought I had learned everything I could the first time. Amazing. One of my "messages from God" to move on and on and heal myself. Thank you.
Her eyes at the very end of this video say so much about her pain and realization that there is no "Cure". We are in the same boat Sister. Hurts like hell.... Hugs.
I have deep respect for your honesty. Thanks for being so open with everyone and allowing access to your thoughts, experiences and feelings.
Glad to see you in Cambridge Sam! Hope you will be giving some kind of talk/interacting with the academic community there during your visit.... Your knowledge is a very valuable resource to us here in the UK :) xxx
This is incredible help and rescue from myself...I have just begun...It will be a long haul...My whole life has been eaten away by abuse as described in your video and so....I have never truly lived!! IS IT TOO LATE?????? TYSM, SAM!!! AND LOVE to you!!
Dr Vaknin your are the best source of information on the topic I avec heard as far, thank you for your work.
Absolutely the best video i have seen with so much understanding of the big picture
This information has been extremely helpful. I find it to be very true and accurate.
Great interview. One of your best videos!
I’m so glad you healed. Now you’re helping people like me. Bravo!!
I never even hinted that I healed.
Sam, You are brilliant. I am very impressed with your humble way of explaining the anatomy of the mind.
I cannot help but feel sorry for and pity the narcissist who has nothing off his true self left. They seem for lack of a better term ruined by their abuse and it is very sad and tragic to see
I’m amazed at the way Sam explained the complexity of personality disorders, his grasp of the English language is pretty superior, somehow he manages to draw out the world of narcissists for the wide public without compromising the truth of his researched understanding of the mind maze and mask changes of multiple personality disorders. I will get the book as it appears that is the latest epidemic in our society, a trend of self importance and isolation.
uniqueness and impressiveness . Your contribution is amazing Sam. Thank you and Ruth for your testimonies, research, writing and video presentations. Helping to detect and deal with this imbalance. Interesting to know roots are to be searched for in childhood abuse (as more imbalances seem to origin from that place).The importance of responsible parenting to surface as a prevention of body and soul ailments .
I knew it! This belief that narcissists are secretly miserable is just something victims tell themselves to feel better, and something therapists say to try and make sense of their behavior, much like this idea that bullies have low self-esteem. It's not true. Narcissists are happy. Their lives are easy because the idea that they are less than perfect never even registers as a conscious thought. If they have no empathy, they are never burdened with conscience about the things they have done.
Great interview, thank you both!
very learnful and insightful. I think it can be eye opener for many people who might also be "and wonder about..." and people who might be in contact with someone "and wonder..."
Superb and informative, thank you Dr. Vaknin
Appreciate that you make it clear, no way of putting all the fragments back together, only ways to modify behavior.
Scary but so useful! ALL parents should watch this video. #stopchildabuse
Yes, I agree
And exactly what would unfit parents do with that information🤔. Magic
Absolutely.
Sam says that the longer the narcissist's false self remains in place, the more the true self is eroded. Yet, I wonder if the addiction to narcissistic supply doesn't serve a dual purpose : to both feed the false self as well as somehow nurture a deeply buried and injured true self. A true self that the narcissist has fallen completely out of touch with and therefore can no longer get in touch with.
That is why most nacissists tend to gravitate to empaths.
@@LT-mz5yc empaths? Just people that feel empathy? Or the tiktok empaths that are cluster B peeps 😂
Fascinating and I agree about the part that cluster b are forms of disassociative disorder - it’s like I kept feeling that way when I read up on them - they are forms of self preservation that develop in a child that is threatened or didn’t receive unconditional love
Heartily, thank you. I am deeply touched and selfishly benevolent that you have/can observe and accept yourself and provide empathetic translation to those/us impacted by narcissists...you are the first (to me) that help the release/empathy to those personally inflicting "us". I also expressively appreciate the niche within the range, that you deeply and deutlich understand and communicate (to us...thank you)...for deeper understanding.
I love this so much; using the Narcissism as the multi-million dollar international internet startup to HELP PEOPLE. Best happy ending ever.
Thank you Sam. I hope you heal and have loving relationships. This makes me very sad for him but it makes me understand certain people a little better.
Yes, Sam is brilliant alright. Very very HONEST and real also. I appreciate what he does and how remarkably articulate he is. Thanks!!!!!!
Very academic description of the disorder and its complex dynamics.
I wish I watched this before...My Ex-narc just got arrested AGAIN after only 5 months, just sabotaged his whole life all over again.
Fantastic objectivity on a difficult topic.
Grateful truly to you, Thank you very much.❤️