I am just now learning about the narcissism of a manager, experimenting with Gray Rocking and seeing the predicted results in real time... and it's like waking up in an alternate reality where everyone I encounter might be somewhere on the spectrum, and narcissistically jockeying for their supply. And then asking myself if I am being narcissistic by Gray Rocking my manager. What head trip.
I agree... I stayed married for 16 years to someone who always put me down and blamed EVERYTHING on me. I am 2 and a half years out and I still am recovering from this type of treatment. In the last year I have started to get back to who I am... my friends tell me they saw it for years how unhappy I was and how much I changed when I was with him. They know how to mess with you deep down. I could go on and go on... I now can see all that damage he did and recovering still. I am gaining my self worth back and I don't question myself so much.
Although i agree, that doesnt indicate youre always with a narc person though. Dealing with Anxiety can make you feel small when youre around just about anybody
Yeah. It’s not something wrong with you or anything to allow another person to make you feel a way about yourself. Right. Blame all your problems on other people, honey.
I’m glad you shared this. Can I ask for clarity to what you mean every accusation it was a confession ? I wonder why my ex told the courts I molested my daughter. Luckily she was never left with him so he could not have molested her but makes me wonder did he moleste someone or someone moleste him when he was younger ? Why would he do that ? To break down the family unit? Or as a confession ?
Trying to explain the abuse and gaslighting to people who have only ever seen the smiles and sweetness is such a struggle. They can’t imagine how destructive it really is.
Any place is better than where you were ❤️stay strong and don’t look back!! I did it 5 months ago after a 17 yr hell I’m living for the first time since I was 20! You can do this 🦋🦋🦋🦋
Oh my god I just said the exact same thing to my friend today about one that has ensnared me over a 13 year period. Wow 👀 finally free but in shock, hasn’t noticed as I’d been so absorbed in the trauma of an abusive childhood and trying to recover. My god I’m terrified of how vulnerable I am.
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Yes!!! Many people can be vey opinionated about those who stay and criticised and that make me isolate and dout myself and the seriouness of the situation even more...also make me feel terribly guilty for some reason.
REPORT WOKE MAFIA CRIMES. MY CHILDREN AND I have been under attack using malicious AI / energy weapons with constant death threats, rape by lesbians et al., 24/7 harassment and physical abuse: global supremacists, terrorists, communists - China, N Korea, Communist Republicans, Iran and Russia
They also sabotage attempts to rely on oneself, which isn't strategically difficult in an "every little peon is a rival to please the bosses better" socioeconomic system. That is probably usually a bigger deal to the extent that there is an initial clout difference, like when a narcissistic parent singles out a kid for ruin or when the narcissist has a lot of money or connections, but fixation on strategy plays a role too. One of the most memorable things my father has told me after a beating when I was a kid was "you did that to yourself". The cult of self-reliance carries its own baggage as a tool of abuse.
undermine your confidence and strip you of your unique identity, destroy your health and credibility, avoid being held accountable for anything, explosive dramatics,- They will parrot you, as they have no original thoughts, and steal the credit. narcissists have an instinct for the attention-deprived. They come to the rescue, feel they own you, when they pillage your life, they feel justified, righteous- if you protest they will rise up like a biblical apocalypse and scheme to ruin you socially. Been there, in survival mode, being marginalized, led me to being a pioneer in many areas, naturally, I gravitated towards the practice of social distancing over a decade ago. Peace.
I want to cry for everyone in this documentary. I've lived it too. Currently no contact but struggling to overcome the trauma bond. No one knows until they've lived it, no one else understands
@@cherbeware7421 You won't die. You will if you go back. I'm financially trapped. If I could leave and never think of him again. My trauma bond has almost gotten me killed. How would our families feel if we let these demons take our lives. Pray. Ill pray for you too. Your strong enough to get through this. Write a book about your survival one day. 🌹
So true , that’s legit what I just said while watching this and commenting. It makes it so much more difficult to process , deal with and to try and escape & overcome it for that reason. If you try and explain to most people it will come off as either dramatic or maybe even like your the crazy one and they will fail to understand and will doubt the severity of the abuse and how crucial the reality of this literal crisis is. I isolated from everyone in my life and stopped doing all the things that made me happy or I loved doing to avoid being a burden on other and upsetting her. There I was a once confident , successful , popular and decent looking man in his 20’s whose 6’5 230lbs and yet I was living a life ruled by fear like a hostage and dealing with constant pain,suffering and never ending abuse from what appeared to be a gorgeous looking nice acting seemingly innocent woman that was petite and no more than 5’7. Yet I still stuck around and kept giving her all of my energy and being her victim as I handed her a decade of my life living in literal hell on earth where the devil is also actually your roommate and in your bed and every aspect of your life ensuring your never content , happy or too confident , successful or ,comfortable by saying or doing whatever was required to strip you of those positive states the instant the feel your in them... I am so sorry you also had to endure such pain and suffering and I pray you stay strong and find peace and happiness, I am only a little over a month removed and I somehow still go through phases of wanting to go back to her and assume the blame and I battle deep depressions and anxiety over it also. Other times I feel ok and just present which reminds me that i am finally somewhat ‘FREE’ which I haven’t been In Over a decade and reminds me why I need to move on and give myself enough time to heal... god bless you and I pray that you encounter the love you deserve
So true , that’s legit what I just said while watching this and commenting. It makes it so much more difficult to process , deal with and to try and escape & overcome it for that reason. If you try and explain to most people it will come off as either dramatic or maybe even like your the crazy one and they will fail to understand and will doubt the severity of the abuse and how crucial the reality of this literal crisis is. I isolated from everyone in my life and stopped doing all the things that made me happy or I loved doing to avoid being a burden on other and upsetting her. There I was a once confident , successful , popular and decent looking man in his 20’s whose 6’5 230lbs and yet I was living a life ruled by fear like a hostage and dealing with constant pain,suffering and never ending abuse from what appeared to be a gorgeous looking nice acting seemingly innocent woman that was petite and no more than 5’7. Yet I still stuck around and kept giving her all of my energy and being her victim as I handed her a decade of my life living in literal hell on earth where the devil is also actually your roommate and in your bed and every aspect of your life ensuring your never content , happy or too confident , successful or ,comfortable by saying or doing whatever was required to strip you of those positive states the instant the feel your in them... I am so sorry you also had to endure such pain and suffering and I pray you stay strong and find peace and happiness, I am only a little over a month removed and I somehow still go through phases of wanting to go back to her and assume the blame and I battle deep depressions and anxiety over it also. Other times I feel ok and just present which reminds me that i am finally somewhat ‘FREE’ which I haven’t been In Over a decade and reminds me why I need to move on and give myself enough time to heal... god bless you and I pray that you encounter the love you deserve
Yes, my house has been broken into, illegal surveillance, stalking 24/7, and non stop harassment of my family and friends as they're being told what to say and do.
20 years of marriage. my doctor made me leave him. she kept telling me he was killing me. Divorcing was even worse. Ended with poverty and shame from his lies about me. 5 years NO CONTACT !!! and i am joyful again!!! my diary helped me to realize how weird and bad he was. keep a diary!
Most people don't talk about the continued psychological trauma when you leave and share kids with them. Sometimes it doesn't just end, because you can't go no contact when you coparent.
Hey Jill, I'm glad your finding yourself. That's exactly what I do keep a diary. Last time I left him my whole family made me convinced I was over exaggerating ever thing. That's after me trying myself to fix everything for 4 years now I'm documenting it so the next I get that courage again,, I would never doubt myself. Enjoy your life, forgive yourself. Don't care about shame, cause these people weren't there when you were suffering. Who cares what the believe. Sending you all the best wishes
Your doctor did not make you leave him. You made a choice - a highly intelligent choice - to leave him 💖 Please remember to own your decisions & to expect that others will respect your choices. You've got this!
22 years married, ten years divorced with no contact, he sucked me in to help care for family. Tried to isolate and control again! NO WAY! Now that we know, we have to be vigilant to keep NO CONTACT. I'm sorry you had to go through this...
The worst thing about narcissist abuse is it's abuse you can't see. There's no visible bruises or scars. No one except another victim would understand. You try and explain it to someone who doesn't know and they just don't get it. At age 20 I was in a physically abusive relationship and the guy ended up in jail. I met my narcissist at 28 and I dont care how screwed up this sounds, but I'd straight take being beaten 20 times over than the abuse of a narcissist. They literally make you go crazy and cross every wire in your brain and when you finally escape them they tourment you beyond belief. When your try and defend yourself you look crazy because they've masterfully manipulated everyone against you because they're always 2 steps ahead. I think these people are demonic, evil is coursing through their blood streams!
So well seid. Iv been so depressed wondering why every friend and lover iv had has hurt me. And made me feel it was all my fault. Now I'm realizing that I'm attracted to them because I was brought up to feel bad about myself since a toddler. So iv been attracted to what I know best.. but not anymore. 🙏😔❤️☮️🌅🌄
@@meljc2823 I'll pray for you girl. Life is hard sometimes. I've been doing counseling and realized I have toxic traits myself. I'm extremely co-dependant and always latched to whoever came along. The red flags for my narc were there from the beginning. I chose to ignore them just so I had somebody there. At least you recognize the source problem of why you end up in those relationships. Keep working on yourself and eventually when you are healthy, you will attract someone who is healthy too.
They operate from the seven deadly. Thery refuse reproach. They refuse to self reflect. They live of the lie. There is no compromise, understanding, resolve, or progress. When trying to reason with them, the conversation always veers off into vicious crazy circles of pure nonsense. All this, and I could add more, is exactly the traits and nature of a demon. No joke. The exact way of dealing with a demon. Oppressive, destructive, un- progressing, anti-life, etc. After all Satan is the original narcissist. He is the father of lies and they are his people. People of the lie. Straight out!
Nothing worst than dating a Narcissist that is in the process in converting themselves in a Satanist... :( GOD is BIG.. as he rescued me! YES! How can it be that I still have that strong BOND and it upsets me, but thank GOD.. for his commands and mercy.. Must love God above all!! Above all! This is an earthly bond/love... God's love is more beautiful in all ways. :) Amen.
I don't believe in the devil but they are devils on earth ! and they know how to choose their preys, they are always with nice and emotional people. Anyway two narcissists will not last long together !
I have been married for twenty years, and I just recently realized that my husband is a narcissist. I felt like I was the only one in my situation, until I saw another video about narcissistic and emotional abuse! It makes me wonder how many people are hidden inside their homes not knowing they are being abused!
I'm right with you 17 years. After I got gaslight in front of my best friend, that I maybe see once in every 5 years. That did it for me. She turned into the victim and I was the bad guy. 17 years of instant rage out of left field, aggressive driving, can't have a decent conversation without turning into an argument, cursing and yelling at me, controlling on what we do, her way or no way, just to name a few. I tried leaving 4 times and came back, now I'm done. Called a lawyer and getting ready to start the process. I'm proud of you!
You’re right it’s such an insidious disorder and way too many beautiful people are being affected by them, I was 26 years married and was only able to see in hindsight how bad it was
@@justinekelly7137 same here 17 years! I think back and realize my spouse said things about me that I would never in my wildest dreams would say about a person who you says they "Love You".
Yes! This is truth.ive learned to calm down and speak my mind,stick up for myself calm but firmly instead of letting them get me to the anger level of trying to yell my point of view (pointless) and then they get what they want, which is to say things like "oh look,see, you're crazy..just like everyone says.they all see it" to make you doubt yourself.nope.i know right from wrong.im going to act calmly now and walk away so that I can turn those tables.
Yes! This was in the side bar of a video I watched on a different topic. It has never come up when I’ve searched narcissistic abuse. With all the censorship, I wonder if this is being suppressed. Perhaps Zuckerberg recognizes himself? 🤔
Esp after in the USA we had such a narcistic president who also was incredible revengeful, yes they can be charming, but it’s not real, they only do it if they need to get something from it. Its this love bombing, charming behavior, they get away with all the bad stuff, it’s rationalized away or it’s our fault. Gaslighting our truth what we saw and heard ourselves is nog true. Alternative facts ... it’s as if all narcissists stood up and showed their ugly self a bit.
OMG my HEART AND EXPERIENCE.... knows what your saying and FEELINGS OF UR PAIN. THANK YOU ALL FOR THIS DOCUMENTARY!!! MAKES me want to cry...I did... people it hurts me to even see or hear people go threw this... There cases are so much more complicated. Be strong... I went threw something like that... ohhh I thought I was Loca Crazy... And I knew I wasnt wrong... We fell in Love with these people.... Crazy Its scary... The Giy in the BLUE SWEATER YOUR CUTE and your story is OMG....THE LADY WITH THE BABY..AWWW GODBLESS...EVERYONE ..AMH 🥰❤💯🤍 I WILL LIKE TO FIND A GROUP CHAT TO TALK SO I CAN UNDERSTAND MORE AND GET MY HURT OUT....ITS BEEN 4 YEARS.. STILL THERE PAIN.. I CRY EVERYDAY OF THE PAIN AND HOW MY LIFE CHANGE.. GOD WILL BE WITH ME.. AND I FIND A GOOD MAN ONE DAY . BEST BELIEVE IT.. NOW I WILL KNOWWWW THE RED FLAGGGGSSS🚫🚫..AMH‼‼
Hi is the scapegoat united a real group? My adult sons are scapegoat and golden child, my daughter was the forgotten child or invisible, but it messed all four of us in our heads. Its a nightmare, im a recovering codependent having to ba accountable for allowing the damage to my kids. Im so hurt right now, how dare he make me believe he loved us ... no love, people be careful, a narcissist will destroy you and his kids, move far away, and never admit or recall anything you say. I want to get him by the neck....i hate him...we are so betrayed.
I hear what you mean, but as I get older, I do try to hide good traits unless I am around trusted people because certain people with bad intentions are looking for good people. If you just seem neutral, they move on.. so yeah I guess I'm not pretending to be a bad person hahaha just trying to not be noticed as "good" until I know someone
Wise words...& You're exactly right because our empathy makes us damage our own selves if we deliberately cause harm to a innocent person, that's what makes us a "good person"🙂.
Not true. The only way to get rid of bad people is to do bad things to them. And even when you not a bad person. Its the only thing that works to get rid of them.
Thank the thousands of electronics engineers over 75 years for it. God had nothing to do with it. Any more than the tooth-fairy. I say thank Goodness. It's much more FACTUAL... Belief in mythical beings is the hardest habit to break.
@Tim Lyons I was raised "Church of England" in the late 1960s. I realized something is seriously wrong with the Old Testament ar age 8 or 9. So I looked into the religions of the people of this little planet floating in Space, existing in Time, movement exactly dictated by the Force of Gravity... It's ALL BS.
This documentary should be shown in schools and colleges everywhere to spare the coming generations of these hideous beings. Excellent work thank you.🙌🧡💛💙
@@bandieboo8102 Agreed. And even if it WASN’T, it’s still a terrible freakin idea!!! The vast majority of people KNOW when their significant other is being unfaithful so why would anyone truly want to know ALL of the details??? Even if they think they do at the time, trust me- it won’t accomplish anything positive or productive, but simply just hurt the person more in the end. And I honestly believe that no one truly wants to know!! They just don’t want to believe it that’s all so they want proof. That’s why that comment didn’t sit right with me from the get!!!
@@christinafidance340 You have an interesting perspective. Some of us like to know the truth and to not live a lie or be part of a lie. Some people have a healthy level of self respect and want an honest partner, not one who sneaks behind your back, lies to your face, and lives as a deceptive liar. And often, is then happy to pretend you are the only one, when in fact, they have been putting their hands, mouth, tongue, and other parts all over someone else's body and putting on their super sexy acts for this someone or these people but not you. Many people, sooner or later, decide, that is NOT how they want to live for the remainder of their one and only lives, or to encourage their sons and daughters to believe that it is all okay. Some also don't want their grandchildren as well as their children to grow up with that total lack of respect and all of the tragic and destructive aftermath. Some women go out and find really good honest men, and wonder why they ever put up with such selfish, shallow, pathetic, deceitful, empty messed up human beings. It all gets down to what you will or won't put up with. If someone started lying to me, I would investigate. No question about it. If a small investigation had concerning results I would go as far as possible to get the truth. But that is because I have my standards clear from the outset, and consistently. And as an empath, truth is important. Plus I know my worth.
They are not hideous people, they are sick individuals,it's not that black and white. But I agree that videos like this should be shown in school, and psychology should be taught early inschools.
@@reneekelley4279 get rid of him you are a wonderful woman I can feel that thru the energy of your words. Please do not let him take any more of your time. That is the most precious thing over money.
I am so happy they included a man into this documentary, so often men are demonized as the only ones able to abuse, which makes it even harder for men to get help.
On One evening of October 2019 I was down with a severe fever and I couldn't give my time of the day to her like I always used to. She was at her home and I text her told her that I was at the doctor getting my medicines prescribed. I sent her a photo of the prescription. She acts up , but what takes the cake was what came next. She goes on to sext some random guy on the internet and then sends me screenshots of her sexts with this guy ,all while I'm writhing with fever in bed. 😶
@@brandonpinto5290 They are sadistic dillusional. I just dumped the a so called friend who turned out to be the wicked witch of the West. No kidding.....bc Canada. I'm so glad to be rid of someone that has her own freak show with her family. BLESSINGS
The patriachy indirectly protects female narcissists as much as it protects male ones. That men can't show weakness or be "victims" and that women are not perpetrators means people don't believe men. They are dangerous as most are covert and their public facade well built.
if you come from an abusive background, it isn't that you are attracted to an abusive person, it is just that you will have a high tolerance for abuse because that is normal to you and you will make excuses for the abuse whereas someone who grew up in a healthy environment will not have the same tolerance for abuse and will leave.
This isn't necessarily true. I had a good childhood, I never heard my parents or grandparents screaming or arguing or degrading each other and I ended up in 2 narcissistic relationships(I think the last one had BPD) the 1st was a 9 year relationship with 1 child and the 2nd was over a year and a half. I'm empathic, always see the best in people and believe they are decent, boy was was I ever wrong.
Fortunately I wanted the opposite with what I grew up with. I have no tolerance for abuse, I never want to experience what I went through as a child ever again. Must add my younger sister thought it was normal and she must stick it out with her abusive husband because that is how we were raised. I had to convince her that is nonsense. After 20 years of marriage she eventually divorced the creep.
@Hélia Alves I never said it was a choice for all, read my comment again, it was a conscious choice for me. From a very young age I decided I will look for something else in a relationship or not be in one at all. I was a very observing child and at 10/11 I begged my parents to get a divorce because I wanted it all to stop. They loved each other but the abuse was bad. If my dad and mom were not at each others throats my mom abused me during their happy periods. There was an actual pattern. I got married much later than my siblings and I looked for the opposite in a partner than what my parents were.
It’s so hard to let go of this mirage. I feel like I’ll never love again but the person I fell in love with never existed, this perfect person was never real. God help me.
For me that was the first man I saw, when I opened my eyes and looked at him just after I was born - MY FATHER. ONE OF US FINALLY HAS TO DIE FOR THIS TO END.
Well personally I recognized the change in personality and realized it was only going to get worse and left and other people were weird about that as if I should be more broken hearted etc than I was and I tried to explain it was over for me before I actually left if you are going to be physically assaulting me and degrading me emotionally don't expect me to grieve much over you.
My ex narcissist actually told me "People like me more than they like you" (this was after his smear campaign behind my back to everyone we knew). My response must've actually come to me through intuition, because my response was "That's because they don't really know you" It was gaslight city after that. I know it was wrong but I still get great satisfaction from remembering how I backed him up against the wall and threatened to cut his tongue out after 20 years of his abuse. Those big eyes full of fear and him backed up against the wall. The coward knew he'd gone too darn far that time. I left him soon after that. Life is so stress free now. Once you lived in the hell of a narcissist, things as small as hearing the birds sing and watching the sun rise are stunningly beautiful. My soul is lit! 😊❤️ This is my wish for everyone who has suffered narcissistic abuse. You are more special than you know and you are worthy and very loved. ❤️
My goodness... My ex used to say something similar "Everyone loves me" - out of nowhere - it was not even relevant to our conversation. He had no answer when I asked why he was even saying that?? 😂
@@couchramblingsdot-com5216 I agree with you. Thing is some of these narcissistic people really capitalise on social media to ramp up their abuse. I wonder if the education should incorporate this.
@Jinn Jinn exactly, I've been told, "you're too sensitive, that's not abuse, your mom is just strict, you're being a brat" They completely dismiss years of trauma all of my life, and they have never experienced it themselves. It's not easy to leave, it never will be, I haven't left yet because I depend on my parents financially.
Jeckle and Hyde behind closed doors, totally charismatic in front of others! To the person reading this who is also a narcissistic abuse survivor: I see you. I hear you. I believe you. ❤
Thank you because I've felt unnoticed and unbelieved for 8 months now - since I anniciated the divorce. Because most of the scars are not visible from the outside. Only those who have LIVED through it know the damage I feel to my soul! 😢🙏
to all family and friends, I was the scapegoat, the bad person...while she was the violent narcissistic explosive person over nothing, just for the fun of it
That exactly how I described this very sick narc, always blessing others on the outside. So Fake, but their inside is totally Demonic making it very difficult to get others to believe you in their gas lighting abuses and death threats by damaging my property and they’re right next door, police and no one does anything BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Where can I find a Good Godly understanding therapist and Lawyer? THIS IS GOING TO STOP NOW! I feel so stuck and going all the way with this. Please Help!🙏
This is spot on! I was married to one who was also an alcoholic. Like being married to Satan. And the day I left him and ran with my 2 children…I didn’t think I belonged in a shelter. I thought it wasn’t as bad as that. I found out I was one of the worst cases they’d seen. The mind control is mind boggling. Praise God I’m free!! ❤️🙏🏼❤️
The addiction/alcoholism makes it so much worse. I totally get it. Sending you and your babies so much love. You got this. You are incredibky strong!! ♥️♥️♥️
You got this! Keep strong, claim yourself back and be safe! You're your own shelter, trust yourself and love yourself! I wish you all the best but foremost to HEAL and to GROW from it. Warm hugs, much love❤
This documentary is so true, only people who experienced the narcissist relationship will understand how detrimental the narcissist relationship is. I am a narcissist survivor
im a survivor too, it had taken 20 plus years for it to fully come out of her, this video is 100% correct I feel for you having to of gone through this too.
Definitely,, I think this should be taught in hight school from the age of 16yrs old, because there is so much young adults who are in narcissistic abuse boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. Honestly, some young people are crazy with controlling, verbal abuse, hitting honestly I swear this topic needs to be taught early.
Whoever is going through this you aren't alone, they want to break you because they see qualities in you that they can't posses like love and empathy, they are predators. Listen to your body and get out, don't let them change you ❤
HWAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CANT GET OUT DUE TO NO WERE TO GO NO MONEY NO MEANS OF DOING NOTHING OR NOONE FRFR AND WHEN I SAY NOONE I MEAN NOT A DAMN SOUL BECAUSE OF THE LIES AND HATRED THAT YOU HAVE PUT ON OTHERS BECAUSE OF THE NARC CONVINCING YOU THAT THEY ARE UP TO NO GUD AND THAT YOU SHOULD WALK AWAY FROM THEM AND STAY AT HOME.?
PRAYERSNLUV, GIVE IT OVER TO GOD, GET FREE SAFELY& THEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND START TO HEAL!!!!KEEP A STRONG SPIRITUAL BOND WITH OUR SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, MEDITATE, MAYBE TRY YOGA, WHAT IM SAYING IS YOU NEED TO HEAL EMOTIONALLY AND PAMPER YOURSELF& REVEL IN BEING FREE!!!! KEEPING YOU IN MY PRAYERS!!!! PRAYERSNLUV 👼👼💝💝✝️✝️🙏🙏💘💘
It's hell, I'm 27 and I'm just starting to become my own person because most of my life was lost to the invisible battle I had with protecting myself from my narcissistic father, so much of my life, so much of my childhood has been lost. I've been getting the help I need even so, just the thought of my parent being okay with the mental abuse over so many years is a hard one to digest. All is not lost, life starts the day we begin seeing the beauty in the world ❤
Melina,thank for mentioning folks who grew up with narcissistic parents. My relationship with my dad taught me to put up and shut up so I was already geared to do that with my ex. Bless you for your empathy. The emptiness and loneliness in that relationship were extremely painful.
Yes!! This info could save lives, instead of the nonsense they are teaching in schools these days, like the Lie of lots of different genders. Let's teach things that will actually help others!!!
Please, my fellow victims, understand that the reason you attracted a narcissist is because you are on a path of learning to love yourself so strongly that you will become unshakable.
@@candaceharris3675 believe it! It’s true! You will find more and more joy the longer you are away/no-contact. It takes will.. and EDUCATE everyday! Knowledge is power!
For anyone who's still in an relationship with a narcissistic: the fact that you're here means that you've recognised it and it's the first step. Work on your safety planning and get out. It's hard, so so so hard but you will survive it. You'll come out broken, damaged and bruised but you will get through it. And trust me, you'll rise from all this and you'll shine brighter than ever. Don't give up, never give up. 15 years in an abusive marriage, 4 years out. Every day gets better. Raise your knuckles to the sky and fight for yourself. Love to all ❤
Yes and no. Because i only realised to have been in a rship w one years after it has passed while watching a psychologist's vids abt narcissist and personality disorder as psychology in general interests me. And when she explained abt various types of narc, my stomach churned at the explanation of covert narc. My mind was brought to many episodes. I ve thought he was smwhat damaged, but surprised it s due to his narcissism🥶🥶.
So I did, minimized everything then, cannot believe how close I came to death. I had lost myself then, came out of it successfully. It was a very difficult journey, his fight was with a woman who was raising his two two daughters, he never cared, I crossed every hurdle in my path that he created for me and raised two awesome daughters, a successful career for myself, and on my way to helping others in similar situation. Experienced it firsthand, now I know what "Battered Women Syndrome", "Stockholm Syndrome" , "Trauma Bonding" means, it is important to teach people about narcissist's abuse and how harmful it is!
"In a relationship you should feel like yourself. And my biggest sign that I'm dealing with a narcissist is that I'm feeling smaller, like I have to fight to be seen, you know. And in any case that's not a healthy dynamics." -Aletta
How bizarre the manipulation though! At first they do see you recognise you your talents your gifts say they love and respect you and your mind beliefs etc - then they pull all of it apart slowly bit by bit and break you down chip by chip you feel smaller less seen not heard, gaslighted ghosted or stonewalled - then they apologise say they want to do something - and say and say - but DO NOTHING but keep perpetuating the avoidant crazy making abuse. I am hurting so much from this last trauma and after the last I swore no more narcs - they are just a magnet to our goodness - or our GODESSNESS I even wanted to call my last abuser my God after he said I was his Godess - My Goodness how the good want to believe that others will see our Godessness - Save your NESS for YOU the Next healthy healed aware relationship you create will hopefully be better... However yes you never know what people will do - you have to learn you can handle it and move on - that one thing I really have learned and loved in this movie!
Stay strong don't give your precious time and precious life to anyone that belongs to you and only you. Regain your strength and run asap you deserve better. Time heals everything don't invest a minute more in that
REPORT WOKE MAFIA CRIMES. MY CHILDREN AND I have been under attack using malicious AI / energy weapons with constant death threats, rape by lesbians et al., 24/7 harassment and physical abuse: global supremacists, terrorists, communists - China, N Korea, Communist Republicans, Iran and Russia
@@lisamarieromeo6122 cognitive dissonance is when you experience tension from two different experiences: 1) I love that person 2) That person humiliates me. The tension and pain is very strong. In dissonance we try to minimize one of the two to make the experience bearable. like we use our mind to create excuses to forget one of the two. trauma bond is the emotional bond, when one gets emotionally attached to the person who causes the abuse. Consider this: '' First they are very seductive and kind, Then there are red flags. Then when the person starts to increase the abuse, its utterly confusing because they will alternate it with goodness, tenderness, kindness. That messes someone's brain. In behavioral experiments scientists would administer electrical shocks to mice, alternating them with positive rewarding stimulus-food. The more random the connection between the two, the more addicted the mice would become. They couldn't stop hitting the button. So this response of staying is a very addictive response. Not only one wants to experience that positive goodness they give, but its also an unconscious need for fairness, they need the person who hurt them the most to undo the damage. Add on this experiences with narcissistic parents. Lethal cocktail Deep breath for everyone, acknowledge the red flags for red flags. Acknowledge abuse for abuse. Be intellectually honest with yourself, dont make excuses. Leave. '' I hope that helps xx
12 years ago no one talked about this. I had no idea what narcissism was and I was alone in our house with a 10 month old baby, isolated from everyone I was close to, ready to let the old me go completely. But then I found an obscure article that described what I was experiencing, all of the bizarre behavior and manipulation and I cried. I cried knowing I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t alone and I had a name for what I was living in. It was the best thing I could have found. Thank God for videos like this and their accessibility.
My narcissistic ex is currently engaging in a smear campaign...telling everyone who will listen that I was mentally unstable and abusive myself. He used my past traumas against me and purposely triggered me constantly to incite a breakdown, just so he could call me crazy afterwards. He had me believing it for a long time. My mental and physical health as well as my self esteem was at an all time low during the course of our relationship. Once I finally left him, he showed his true colors. They are truly devils in disguise.
I am so sorry this has happened to you. I've had the same thing happen to me multiple times, and it's the worse when they use your traumas against you and try to incite a breakdown. I remember once I grabbed a knife to defend myself because my ex was getting aggressive and trying to gaslight me to the point he must've thought I was really stupid to not see how blatantly he was lying to me. He then turned the situation into how I was so mentally unhinged I was going to hurt him and it wasn't like that at all, I was just genuinely afraid for my life and trying to defend myself.
Reactive abuse .. I always fall into that trap .. try explaining your problem w them and they don't want too have any resolution .. it's like their Aliens from another planet , scary how they all have the same M.O or have the same mind F ***ck play book empty shallow and can suck the life out of a room .
Narcs are the best actors in the world but for there own entertainment, everyone of them would have Oscars in there trophy cabinet and yet I don't know why I'm saying this as a narc reading this would take it as a compliment and not a slight.
It's so sad to see...he looks so broken and traumatized. I sincerely hope that he was able to find some kind of healing for the abuse he suffered. I hope they all do
To the " victims" who took part in that documentary , you are not victims at all to my opinion, you are heros, you are inspirations , sooo greatful to you from my heart.
I feel the same. It’s one thing to educate oneself with information on this topic but to actually watch real life people’s experiences with this insidious treatment of abuse has just put the last piece in this crazy puzzle 🧩 for myself and my recovery.... One foot in front of the other small steps each day is my new motto.... My Solider is up and standing, crawl walk until we can run again... 💜🙏💜🙏
@@michellerose7591 As a survivor of childhood incest followed by almost 50 years of narcissistic abuse, I’ve learned that my greatest enemy is within. Her name is Victim. You, Ms. Rose, are a hero. ❤️
True. I hate the word "victim" because it defines a person by another person's actions. I am nobody's victim. Yes I can be treated badly and I can be hurt by someone, but that does not make me a victim.
i hate that everybody sees victim as a bad, vulnerable and even dumb thing. shit that we cant control just happens everyday. that doesnt mean we cant be victims and heroes at the same time. i am a victim survivor of multiple abuse and a hero as you say, and theres nothing wrong with that.
This is what confuses me because normally he doesn’t but now that I told him he has 30 days to move out I’m done he’s back to love bombing and hoovering. He’s saying how he knows he was the one who has been wrong and seeming sincere. Is this all an act as well?
“when I learned about narcissists I was finally able to…” She spoke to my soul, I will never forget the feeling when I first saw a video about narcissism, it all started to make sense. Knowledge is certainly power!
Both my father and mother are narcissists. It has taken me three decades, almost four, to break through the confusion brought on by my parents. I will say my mind has been completely warped by the mental abuse I have suffered. As I watch this documentary and read other comments, I see so many patterns that are intimately familiar to me. Over the years I have learned that the best defense against a narcissist is knowledge. Knowledge about each and every one of their tactics and recognizing patterns-not an easy task to accomplish in the midst of it. I have almost no emotion invested in my parents anymore, and I feel robbed because of it. But I guess that's life; you play the hand that was dealt to you. My parents are old and weak now, and they rely on me for many things; the tables have turned. But I'm going to do something that they never did for me; act with grace, compassion, empathy, and strength. Not because they deserve it, but because I choose to be the person they could never be.
Same here. No love. You’re on the right track. Stay who you are, and know neither of them could ever hold a candle to you. Know you are a strong one. Peace.
Identification of their repetitive patterns of abuse is what got me on the right track in identifying what these people are how they think and act. I've called them out on all their bad behaviour and cut off most of the reactive abuse they need to thrive.
They will not appreciate it. Beware of that thinking. You might be trying to convince yourself that you're above them, which is understandable. I decided to go grey rock with my narc dad. Simply fuc** him. He's not getting away with it. Hell for him.
It's so very hard. I suffered for sixty years. I have told my therapist l don't have a lot of time left my mental and physical health is in bad condition l don't care l just want to find happiness. I haven't found it and l have to wonder if l will ever find it. I don't know what happiness I'd. I don't know what it feels like. My narcissistic Mother completely enveloped me. I was nothing but an extension of her. If l catch myself reacting talking or thinking like l used to l feel violently I'll. It is insidious and cruel. You loose everything.
9 years together and 6 years married, I am finally escaping a narc. This vid was so eye opening so spot on and even triggering for me to watch. I am so grateful for the support system I have around me. Just reminding myself that none of this is my fault.
Have you watched other channels like "H.G. Tudor" (who is a real life narcissist), Dr. Ramani to name but two. I make a point of watching narc vids all the time (being an adult child of a malignant, covert narcissist). And yes it is NOT your fault.
@@raccuia1 you're not helping yourself watching it beyond like 3-6 months. I did the same and it just turned me into a paranoid isolated and alone shell of a human.. they aren't helping you. You're in a cult, usually these people all.are narcs that are making money from you. It's not even engaging videos, after awhile you don't learn anything, it's just keeping you stuck in a trauma bond type of parasocial relationship.
It had the opposite effect on me but not my younger sister. She married an extremely narcissistic abuser, she followed the same patterns my mom did, left her husband, came back just to go through it all again untill I convinced her to move on. I remember begging my parents a the age of 10/11 to just get a divorce, in my mind it seemed like a solution for all of us. They never did, I promised myself a much healthier relationship and also not to get married as young as my mom and my sisters.
@Hélia Alves dear I have been married twice already, my first husband died in a car accident at age 35, he was an intelligent gentle giant. My second husband is the most wonderful person also very intelligent and gentle, mindful and empathetic. I am very happily married thank you.
Leave your childhood behind. I was sexually molested for years but I don’t let that affect how I live today as an adult. They’re just excuses. Stay weak!
You keep thinking they have normal emotions, I just have to get through to them. (I know now, but back then I was very young. 18-21) Eventually you realize they really don't think and feel like most people.
They villanize your good points. They absolutely make things up. That is why it is pertinent that you KNOW THYSELF!! because then there's not so much questioning of self when they throw their crappy definitions out there
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective *Metaspyhub@gmail. com.* Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
My heart hurts for all of us going through, getting out of, and healing from Narcissistic Abuse. I want to send out a global empathic hug for everyone who’s ever been crushed by this kind of B.S.
I keep on going from one to the next and almost like I turn them into these… I’m scared of getting close to anyone because I don’t know my boundaries esp having autism already
Yes, yet when that person seeks treatment and asks, Am I a narcissist? The counselor knows they are not the problem. A narcissist would never ask that.
@@earthangel_24 unless that’s their strategy. I’ve asked if I’m a narc and so has the narc who accuses me and others of being narcs. Maybe we all are ... I’ve even overheard the other making up bs about me and doing a number on their therapist.
It seems a safe rule of thumb is if you have empathy for others and have the ability to self reflect, you're likely not a narcissist. They may always view themselves as victims, but I think it's projection when they accuse their partners/others of narcissism.
I'm sitting here crying and all I want to do is go curl up in a ball. More people need to see this, especially law makers. The legal definition of abuse needs to expand beyond the physical.
Be kind to yourself. Sleep when you are tired, it will help you rewire your brain. It takes time but you will heal and be stronger than ever. Prayers for you. ❤️
Yeah, but there are a lot of reasons that people can't be charged with a crime for things like this - think about it - if there were laws where someone could be arrested for domestic abuse/violence for emotional/psychological abuse, you know exactly who would take advantage of that? Narcissistic abusers. Many of them convince the victim that they're the one abusing the narcissist and that she/he is the bad one, the crazy one, the mean one, etc. They could easily use it to put their victim in jail. Like, the example in this documentary where he hit the victim and left bruises, and then he harmed himself to blame it on here. My ex did this too. He'd cut or hit himself to say I did it, and one time he got me taken by the police for it and I was put in a mental ward - even though I had done nothing wrong. He told the cops I hit him and him and his (also psychopathic, in my opinion) mother lied and said I'd drank bleach trying to kill myself and tried to jump out the 2nd floor window (even though that window was barely big enough for a small child to get through, let alone a grown adult, it was tiny) - it was all BS. And I had just been raped earlier that day which was how this all started, I told them what happened, my lip was busted and face bruised and they accused me of prostituting and making this up to cover up what I did. It was INSANE. But the cops believed them and took me and I was put in the hospital's psych floor and the doctors that evaluated me, a whole team of them, all said I was totally fine and didn't need to be there, but they kept me anyway and said I couldn't leave until my dad drove all the way from Georgia (this was in New York state), I was there for 14 days. It was the most insane garbage. It's not even legal to do that, you can't keep someone imprisoned in a mental ward against their will unless they're a danger to themselves or others AND you can only keep them 3 days unless/until you get a court order. But it didn't matter, I couldn't do anything about it. So, in my opinion, it would probably be pretty dangerous to narc. abuse victims to make laws about it, they would exploit it, I can almost guarantee it. Plus it's INCREDIBLY hard to prove mental/emotional abuse. It's not like physical abuse where there are cuts and bruises and such.
@@zzevonplant I'm sorry this happened to you. I can relate. Docs also said I was fine. I've been told by an abuser they can't do anything physically, they know their rights so they will hurt in every other way. I'm seeing more people hurt each other emotionally/physiological. Not sure what the solution could be besides to work on yourself. I wonder how many other victims they're doing this to (inflicting pain on yourself, blame it on the girlfriend?). They don't get sent to the hospital, there's no accountability. Glad you got out alive, your story can help others. Hope you find some peace, you're a survivor.
I think I narrowly escaped a narcissistic relationship. I was only with him for a few months, but thankfully saw the warning signs early on. I still stayed longer than I should have, hoping that I was wrong about him. I'm so grateful for my friends who helped me recognise the dangerous situation I was getting myself into.
After two marriages to narcissists, at the age of 46, I am repulsed by the thought of being in another intimate/physical relationship. It makes my skin crawl. It seems to me that once I broke free, I cannot imagine ever being in this position again. It literally scares me to death, and so, I truly relish my time alone in a way that I never could before.
Me too. The thought of being in an intimate relationship makes me feel sick. I have no more to give. I'm 47, faced abuse my whole life and so thankful for this movie and the comments. We are not alone.
Most people have no idea what it’s like being targeted by someone like this. It’s truly a nightmare hence why I cut them off. I wish no ill upon them....but I wish no ill upon myself either. This information is spot on accurate.
Been there. My daughter's mother and my oldest sister. I cannot put into words as to how much time and effort these put in the psychological warfare that they inflict on there fellow human beings.
Growing up with a narcisstic parent, I would have liked to see different perspectives on the topic (not only partners, but parents, siblings, children and even friends for example). However, I want to thank you for raising awareness about this topic as it is still not talked about enough how narcissists can literally ruin your life. I hope these survivors realize none of this was their fault and they find peace someday.
Yup. I was abused by my mom, Ex sibling, and even my grandma was/is one! Parental narc abuse has to be the most insidious form of narc abuse smh just evil
@@JessAnonymous Same here, my parent and sibling were both high functioning narcissists. Worst part is that as a kid, you don't realize your parents are mentally ill, instead they make you think everything is your fault. Took me way into my adulthood to fully understand how evil my family was and to let go. Hope you find peace and wish you all the best! We're already doing better than they ever did.
Now that I've learned both my mother and ex-wife operated that way, I would very much love to hear from others in an honest way about how the interactions they had with them went, so I think it would be interesting from that perspective. It makes me wonder even more what *actually* happened in all those stories about things they had happen to them where they were supposed to be the victim, especially the ones where they really didn't sound like a victim at all to begin with -- how bad could those have been?
Exactly. I was abused by my father, auntie, and my two cousins. Whenever they talk about narcissism, it's always about partners. And not enough about the family members.
This is the best documentary on Narcisim I have seen. Being a Highly Sensitive Empath, I have dealt with Narcisitic Abuse since birth without knowing what it was, until I married a Grandiose Narcisist, and I went through everything expressed in this documentary. I was able to get out after only 1 year and 7 months, and then went to a Covert Narcsisit, and then I learned what it was. I also learned and understood so much of my childhood, and the issues I had blame myself for having so many years. It took me a lot to recover, I had PTSD, Social Anxiety, and Low Self Steem, but I healed myself researching online and now I am here, trying to help others. I want to thank you for doing these, because as it was said: "Knowledge is the only way to help avoid it" so these kind of documentaries are very helpful! Thank you! And to those brave that have overcome this KEEP IT UP! I don't particualiry like the word "victim" because you are actually "strong survivors" 💕💕
This is the best documentary. Every single section is so true. I dont have to try to explain anymore. I just forward this video. Thank you for this freedom.
I too went through narcissistic abuse at birth growing up and feel lost as well and my goal is to find myself....my true self (authentic self) and heal in the process.
@@Bibi-hh1md I sorry and I understand, you will be better because you understand this madness. They're sickos. And btw, the Creator took him out of here, not me. Lol.
I had a Malignant Narcissist. The worst. Sadly, I am attached for 11 more years. Arm yourselves. They are really just scared people. God sees it all, and NO ONE can avoid the Karma police. NO. ONE.
It was sooo long ago BUT memories should up like it was yesterday & I get so scared. After watching this I'm going to get therapy too. The monster was my father, plus a few others.
Hope ur doing well. Ur head will go over things to try and make sense of everything. Trust the process. Learn the red flags and educate urself of the different types of abuse. I found it grounding that they had names for how I was treated. Good luck u got this
Is it helping ? I’m living with mine .. I’m in the worst circumstance with him … this is killing my soul, I have to smile and curtsy … I have no way out… I do appreciate this documentary a lot , thank you all for sharing, I feel like such a idiot , for being all I’m going go ‘home ‘ to deal with the c Ptsd- to figure out where my bad picker stems from … so rough what kind of therapy ? Help big love c
That's true - even where there's physical violence. We also know that if a man puts his hands around a woman's neck, there's a heightened risk she will end up being killed by him.
I left on the 3rd threat .... one day it may be too late ... he wouldn’t have cared ... I need my hip replaced at the time I was 6.5 stone ... he must have been 18/19 stone ... he picked me up & slammed me on the ground.... wow it hurt .... on my worst hip side .... you don’t stand a chance against them ... they wouldn’t pick you if you did .... it nearly destroyed me ... & my poor sons had to stand by & watch ... I can only hope I am strong enough to show them better & not let them down again ... I’ve been diagnosed with depression anxiety PTSD ... I am underweight .. I stopped caring about myself my home my business ..... it was awful .... he said I was narcissistic.... I haven’t been diagnosed with that tho ... it’s shameful what one person can do to another ..... I don’t know how he sleeps ..... I don’t
Every time I tried to leave he would convince me to stay. I would be packing my bags after he would try to manipulate me, and say leave if you want to leave. Then I would try and leave and then he would start acting acting all sweet and nice, like he was when we first met. Then of course a couple of days later he went back to the real him. He even told me once, that he behaves perfectly at the beginning and once he knows the girls in love with him then he just goes back to his old self. Cuz he knows he has her, he was sick. I wasted eight years of my life with him and now he's on to his next victim, and I'm free. I'm still dealing with the aftermath, so I'm physically free from him but emotionally I'm still working on it. I have a chronic illness since I was 15 years old, and he told me on many occasions that I wanted to be sick. He said I wanted to have all those surgeries. Then one time when I was in the emergency room he told me that I was a burden to my family and friends, and they were just waiting for me to die. He was truly a sick person.
@@patriciaroy5013 you know about the cycle of violence? It's a documented standard way that the abuser behaves, abusing, then apologising & being all lovey-dovey before gradually - or even quickly - returning to their old behaviour, until once again they blow up like a bomb, & restart the whole cycle. That's one of the reasons why it can be so hard to make the decision to leave.
@@cindygenogram5667 yes that makes sense, because they confuse you because they can flip the switch so fast. They try and convince you that you're the one that's crazy, you're the one that started the fight. I'm just glad that I don't have to deal with that anymore. Because it's a toxic environment, and you just keep going in circles.
What makes it even worse is everyone thinks so highly of this person! Me ex was a pillar in the community, an excellent father, and I was supposed to be grateful!!! That really messed with my head. All alone in a foreign country, 3 kids and he did whatever the f$&@ he wanted with me. ie) He woke me up at midnight, I was 6 months pregnant, he demanded I fix his hair... he was going to the casino. My narc was also a gambler, and very abusive both physically and mentally! I had a gold medal winner in the narcissist Olympics!!!
@@freddiestranger9783 bullshit! I was a kind, loving catholic girl, innocent and kind who attended church, and all the trimmings! My ex used my beliefs against me...he said I was satanic and he was a superior Greek Orthodox! Please, if you tell a victim that crap, they’ll want to slit their wrists!
@@foreverspringtime good to name it,than it can over,did nat underestand,belive,speak up.Very much gratefool,thanks your answer!the isolation part is so hard!
You are so very right! I have major trust issues still,more than 5 years after the «relationship» ended. I can`t trust men at all,I think he broke something essential in me that can not be fixed....
I went from too trusting to being suspicious of people. I'm working on discernment. I think as a codependent I have attracted these people in to my life at least the ones I didn't live with growing up. I've had more than my share of these people and only became aware at the age of 51.
It's an insidious systematic pattern. Not in your face On Contact. First, they study what you need/want, so they can present themselves as the solution. After that they work on ensuring you have no one else to turn to. Then they test your attachment +security before their full blown Control, wrapped in abandonment threats and dire predictions, settles in.
We think it's cute...he's so intuned with me. No he's learning you so he can use it all against you. And it will all turn into control next thing you know you wish he never looked your way.
My heart goes out to everyone abused by narcissists, I really hope you are able to believe there are beautiful people out there for you, trust is so hard to give after surviving a narcissists abuse, to all in this documentary "you are all beautiful & very special people" my love to you all
I agree. Not only should it be criminalized, it is also described in countless documents such as historical, mythological, legendary, medical and even religious, including the Christian Bible. The problem is that narcissistic traits are non gendered, both men and women can have them, though men and women express them differently. More men with narcissistic and antisocial traits, more women with borderline and histrionic traits. All with overlap and exceptions. If one is criminalized, all will be criminalized. We live in a society that loves women but not men. If men behave badly, we accuse the men of being bad people. If women behave badly, it must be because someone else hurt them and not because they (women) are at fault. Feminism forced passive-aggressive personality disorder out of the DSM (though it's now listed as something that needs more research) and they're trying to get borderline personality disorder out of the DSM, or at least called something else --and they demand it is not a disability and are trying to use media to normalize it. At the same time, they are pressuring psychology to accept narcissistic personality disorder as male-specific and criminalized, as well as pressuring acceptance for unsound psychological terms like "toxic masculinity" to be formalized as common to the average man and criminalized. Another term "manspreading" has already been written onto New York ordinances applying only to men who spread their legs widely on public transportation, and some Mexican men were ticketed for doing it at midnight on the NYC subway despite only 3 people in the cabin. No mention of women who place their shopping bags on the seat, preventing others from sitting down. So my guess is that narcissistic behaviors are not criminalized because they would have to apply equally to women, and feminists and the men who enable them won't have that. But make no mistake, narcissistic personality disorder is not technically a mental illness because a narcissist consciously and willingly behaves differently, for example, depending on whether the narcissist knows s/he is being recorded (makes informed choices on how to behave). A person with mental or physical illness will express pain, impatience, negativity, etc. regardless of knowing whether they are being recorded.
It has been criminalized in some countries. It is in the UK. But not yet in the US. I count on people in the medical fields fight for the victims since they know how serious these abuses are. My life has been ruined. I don't deserve that!
@@kindheart2127 Wow I didn't know the UK has criminalized it. Narcissists are often experts at covering their tracks and making it seem like they are not the ones at fault. I strongly relate when you say your life has been ruined. Mine also has been ruined, starting in childhood (I'll be 50 later this year). I take great validation and healing from the fact videos on narcissism like this one are becoming popular on an international scale. People are waking up and not staying silent when they can talk to most anyone anywhere in the world. I think there is hope that I will see continued changes for the better in my lifetime. And as odd as it may sound, for me personally the most healing things that also restored a sense of control over my own life are as follows. I take full accountability for everything I say and do, always learning something new when I am wrong or mistaken. I don't blame the world for what my parents did, nor all women for what my mother did, nor all men for what my father did. I believe in myself and give the whole world a chance, treating everyone as an individual. I allow myself to be liked and loved by anyone, knowing they are doing the best they can as they are able. I only choose people who understand I am doing the same for them, as I can't be everything to everyone and sometimes my best isn't as good as other days. Everything people say and do is some statement on their behalf, not mine. Each person could react differently than the next based on the same thing. I fit in with the world precisely because I'm not perfect. We are all in the same boat together, and it's okay not to sit by people who aren't good for me. And, the more I heal from toxic abuse, the more intolerable it is for me to be around toxic people. Still, everyone deserves multiple chances to be known and understood and loved.
How many people watching this right now are shouting “omg that’s why he/she was like that?! So I wasn’t crazy?!” For me I remember noticing that being able to enjoy small aspects of life like choosing what I want to buy and eat at a grocery store without being judged showed me just how all encompassing this type of abuse can be. If you yourself are questioning if you are in this situation then take notice if you find yourself enjoying small things when away from your abuser that he or she makes a big deal of ruining for you.
I was raised by a narcissistic mother then married a narcissistic man. 26 years of my life was dominated by this insanity. I'm 32 now and I have been in therapy for years and thank God for my therapist. From day one he could see through my narc mother and has helped me find peace and happiness. I am not completely healed at this point but I am a hell of a lot stronger and I can identify narcissism a mile away now. Once I see it, I cut them off and move on. I have two daughters that I need to know they are incredible and I teach them at their young age how to pay attention to what people do early so that maybe they won't suffer the way I have.
And *that* my friend is absolutely the goal we set in place for our children: *The abuse stops with us.* How fortunate your children are to have a parent who unconditionally loves them and fully demonstrates the most fundamental task of Parenting, the protection of our children-something that was never done for us. Good for you! Best wishes!
"She had a monopoly on the truth...no matter what you were talking about, her opinion was the truth." YES. God, I can relate so much to this video. The being held hostage, the being kept up all night and berated, it not stopping until you admit you are "wrong" and they are "right". The hiding of your keys!!! hiding my phone, my medication...the constant gaslighting...the thinking you're going crazy. The second-guessing yourself when you know in your heart that you're right. They break you down, isolate you, break your spirit. I am so grateful that I'm mentally resilient and strong because if I wasn't, I would be a shell of a person right now.
Does anyone notice how beautiful these people who are talking are??? The narcissists like to pick beautiful people to try to destroy to become less to negate you and your life and good choices to berate you and cut you down to become a not so beautiful person, inside and out and this makes their egos grow for them to make them feel more important and better than you
@@flowerpower8591 I think I know what you mean. For me, it felt like they wanted to do enough damage to certainly disable my mental health and self esteem and also make me "nothing." To rub out my individual worth.
This is exactly what it was like for me. I was married to a covert narcissist for 20 years and always knew something was “off” about our relationship. He was incredibly controlling. I could not express a differing thought, opinion or emotion because he would rage. I walked on egg shells in fear of his constant mood changes. After the first 7 years I started to suffer from crippling anxiety and agoraphobia. After years of abuse I eventually lost my entire sense of self. The gaslighting increased to a point where I really questioned my sanity and had to start documenting everything with pictures and dates, just to make sense of my life. When I started to piece everything together (that he is in fact a narcissist) I realized that I was left an empty shell, unable to access my emotions or thoughts. All I thought about was him and his feelings. It took me 6 months to come back to myself and acknowledge what I’ve been through. I am so thankful that I discovered the term narcissist because the information I’ve gathered has helped free me from the cycle of abuse. I left him 2 weeks ago and I have never been happier. I have a lot of inner work ahead of me, but I’ve got this, because I am worth it!
Holy cow. I have thought much of what you wrote here, in almost same terms as what you wrote. Oh my goodness. Once I realized something is wrong with me for putting up with it, I have been able to create myself. I was so totally destroyed. Every aspect of my being.
You’ll be fine! Hang in there. I was with 2 of these, an ex husband & my horrible ex BF. I have been away from this for almost 2 years & I found myself again. I am at peace.
I had 2 roomates like that...one worked for the government and likes to cause problems... once in a while The other tryed to put me in jail...iv allso had x boyfrinds like that... Iam so sorry you went thow that hope you the best .
Yes, but you can’t really understand it until you experience it for an extended period of time. I only started recognizing it when i got badly hurt and abused and then gaslighted about it and it felt so insane and toxic, i remember myself thinking there was something really wrong with that kind of acting and recalled that many years ago I learned about different personality disorders, as a nurse, and went back to the study material to figure out what it was. That’s how I started recognizing it and it didn’t happen right away, it took reading a lot and listening to many youtube videos about NPD. And analyzing it and applying to your experience and contemplating until you finally understand that the reason you couldn’t recognize it at the beginning was that you were used to that kind of abuse from (at least one of ) your parents as a child and it felt ‘normal’ to you until it got really BAD. These UA-cam videos are lifesavers! 🙏❤️
my father is a narcissist. his anger, ridiculous pride, mocking EVERY single person he meets behind their back, making you walk on eggshell... so accurate. It drained my energy and i am recovering from burnout. i thought i should forgive him and contact him, but this video seems like a sign telling me i can forgive and not contact.
Without trying to advertise myself, I have made a video about forgiving the narcissist that you may find of interest. In short, NEVER forgive the narcissist.
@AnneBurns-pv6xc I dont think its excusing the way they act, just a sort of explanation. The way I see it, I am sorry they were abused but it doesn't give them the right to hurt others nd refuse to heal. They are brain damaged, but ots not ok to victimize others just because you were once a victim. Just in my own case I was raised in an emotionally abusive home, but I will not stay unhealed and pass that on to my children.
@@janereinke7825 There are two exceptional channels on narcissism here on youtube. The first is Dr Ramini and the second is Surviving Narcissism. They have tons of videos on the disorder and list many great solutions. Hope this helps!
She taunted me and told me "you can't stand up for yourself that's why I and everyone can walk over you" I have never been the same since then, glad I cut her off
They are compulsive liars. They Gaslight you, they are manipulative and devious. It’s all about control. They blame you for things they regret doing, and blame you for causing them to make mistakes, etc etc. It would drive you nuts!
Yes. It is a horrible way to live. Punished for their behavior. If you don't like that wait until you see what I do next. They can and will do anything they want and you must accept it. We have no rights no life unless they allow and it is only so they can take it away
@@beccapears7573 We have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. ""Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" is a well-known phrase . The phrase gives three examples of the unalienable rights which the Declaration says have been given to all humans by their creator, and which governments are created to protect."
Yeah, It will drive you nuts if you allow it. You have to stand up to people. But some people you don't say anything to them. You have to move quickly to get away from them; because you might get murdered like so many other people, or you might murder someone protecting yourself. Why let it go there when it can be avoided. What I'm saying is you have to be able to see when it's someone you can end things with and when you can't. I am not the kind of person that can't get out or feel trapped in a relationship. I have left situations with nothing but the clothes on my back. As I was moving away from the situation I was in I felt weights falling off me from a person and people that has gone through emotional trauma that had nothing to do with me. You have to move away from these people now. You can't change them. They are not going change. I'm free thank God.
Agree 100%... What's worse for me is friends and acquaintances telling me that I need to take responsibility for letting him into my life and for the way he treated me. So I need to be responsible for him and myself, 2 people... .. He was responsible for no one and nothing and none of his actions. Great 👍
@@rebeccarpwebb4132 i could never. i dont have kids right now, im 20 so it might sound like a stretch for me to be saying this, but i would never let my kids experience what i went thru with my dad. it seriously f's you up and i want my kids to feel safe and unconditionally loved by me.
This documentary is really great. I´m a psychiatrist, and I´m gonna recommend it to colleagues, coworkers and patients. Aletta, Jill and Roel: brilliant and thank you very very much!
Please do share this wide and far to psychiatric/mental health professionals! My mother is a viscious Malignant Narcissist in a religious right wing cult, my father, a massive enabler/vulnerable narc. They raised my GC older sister to be an absolute psychopath with me as everyone's scapegoated trash can of abuses. Long story short, I am an Autistic INFJ/empath. The brain washing and pernicious abuse were so severe, two of my children manifested rare stress triggered illnesses that almost killed them (unheard of epilepsy and obscure cancer). They gas light me all the way through them sabotaging my business and social world, while going to literal ends of the earth seeking medical help for my children...after over a decade of this, we left the state, and ended up with amazing medical professionals that Saved my kids. But by then my heart was failing and I was wrecked with CPTSD and all sorts of dangerously Traumatic events to recover from. Eventually burning my entire previous existence to the ground on my own was the only option. I lost a very large family and social world, businesses homes, almost 3 of our lives.... When I finally started to seek help for my self, I was further gaslight and DX'd as "bipolar, manic" told I was my own problem, improperly medicated and told to write letters to make up with my family! My recovery is mostly self made and supported through powerful videos like this! But, I am still seeking help for my dangerously intense PTSD. PTSD
monili2971, I have been researching narcissism for 14 years now. If you really want working no nonsence insight, the best teacher is The Little Shaman. ua-cam.com/video/drybfMZNlq8/v-deo.html
I'm so sorry. Bringing children in definitely makes it harder. I only brought one in, I was 22, but I saw immediately how it was going to be. He never wanted anything to do with her. In fact, he said he wished we'd never had her, cuz now he had to "share" me, as if he OWNED me, which he truly believed he did. My daughter is now 23 and still seeking his love and approval, which she can't see he is incapable of giving. It is destroying her. She is drinking herself to death, due to him buying her alcohol since age 16. She's already developed liver issues and jaundice, and she can't remain sober. It is heartbreaking. I don't think she's going to make it much longer.
Lori, had a lot of that , my domestic abuse support told me we are going to see your GP. My GP, put it down to panic attacks, later I was diagnosed with PTSD. I’m free no from her physically.
These are all such intelligent, beautiful, kind people. I hope they continue to heal from the abuse inflicted on them. I’m grateful to them for sharing, as I’ve just realised in the last month that I’ve been a victim my whole life of a narcissistic mother. I have a lot of recovery work to do.
29:58 "Even physical wounds are never as bad as driving someone insane" Whoa, that's incredibly true, because bruises will heal overtime but the mind can take ages to heal...
Many studies have shown that it permanently changes the wiring of the brain. I.E. Brain damage. No different than physical damage. We just haven't been smart enough scientifically to see it, until now. So, mental abuse damages(bruises) the brain just like physical abuse bruises the body. We just can't "see" it because it's on the inside.
There's an old saying that I've come to appreciate. It goes like this: " I'd rather be held up at gunpoint because at least then, I would know what was happening to me "
The hardest part about being a victim of narc abuse is that it becomes difficult to trust even the genuinely good people you meet later on in life.
That’s so true
Agreed!
Amen
16 years later I cannot trust to be alone with any man, no way, same with friends see red flags with them too
I am just now learning about the narcissism of a manager, experimenting with Gray Rocking and seeing the predicted results in real time... and it's like waking up in an alternate reality where everyone I encounter might be somewhere on the spectrum, and narcissistically jockeying for their supply. And then asking myself if I am being narcissistic by Gray Rocking my manager. What head trip.
You have to experience it to be able to truly understand it.
That is truth
DJ DADDJ yep I just left it after 20 years .he was very cunning .
Ye.. its soul death..
I agree... I stayed married for 16 years to someone who always put me down and blamed EVERYTHING on me. I am 2 and a half years out and I still am recovering from this type of treatment. In the last year I have started to get back to who I am... my friends tell me they saw it for years how unhappy I was and how much I changed when I was with him. They know how to mess with you deep down. I could go on and go on... I now can see all that damage he did and recovering still. I am gaining my self worth back and I don't question myself so much.
Yup. .it Drains you and slowly leaves you so empty..
"If i start to feel small I know I'm with a narcissistic person." What a great peice of advice. Thank you!!!
wow!! I'll remember that! I know that feeling and I couldn't put words on it! Thank you!
Piece 😘😘
Although i agree, that doesnt indicate youre always with a narc person though. Dealing with Anxiety can make you feel small when youre around just about anybody
Im tempted to say if you dont feel like you really exist as a person, only as a provider of attention, then you are with a narcissist.
Yeah. It’s not something wrong with you or anything to allow another person to make you feel a way about yourself.
Right.
Blame all your problems on other people, honey.
After many years of abuse, I have realized that every accusation of theirs was a confession.
Wow..
Spot on my friend. I'm happy that you realized the reality of the situation. 💜
I’m glad you shared this. Can I ask for clarity to what you mean every accusation it was a confession ? I wonder why my ex told the courts I molested my daughter. Luckily she was never left with him so he could not have molested her but makes me wonder did he moleste someone or someone moleste him when he was younger ? Why would he do that ? To break down the family unit? Or as a confession ?
Yes
That is SO true!!!
Trying to explain the abuse and gaslighting to people who have only ever seen the smiles and sweetness is such a struggle. They can’t imagine how destructive it really is.
They will never trust you unless they will not see it too - and they will see once. N needs supply of the "energy".
You don’t need to explain anything to anyone. If you’re in a bad relationship, you leave. It’s not other people’s business
Exactly, and if we try to explain we’re seen as problematic people who must be the main trigger for our situation.
Pls read up on this'll tell u 💯 about how it is n that's just a little part of it 4 real
@@joycemcqueen2542 truth!
this is oxygen to me as I sit here crying in a women's shelter. I hope the entire world sees this.
I just came out of a women's shelter...for the same reasons. Trust me, you're going to be okay...
Your gonna be okay, you MUST GO NO CONTACT... 4 YEARS for me, best thing I ever did, took me 7 times . Don't stay so long.get out
Any place is better than where you were ❤️stay strong and don’t look back!! I did it 5 months ago after a 17 yr hell I’m living for the first time since I was 20! You can do this 🦋🦋🦋🦋
You were strong enough to leave. Be proud of yourself.
@@ladyowl9187 thank you, I truly appreciate it.
They don't love you... they love that you love them
:(
Oh my god I just said the exact same thing to my friend today about one that has ensnared me over a 13 year period. Wow 👀 finally free but in shock, hasn’t noticed as I’d been so absorbed in the trauma of an abusive childhood and trying to recover. My god I’m terrified of how vulnerable I am.
Very well said!!! Thank you!!
Same here...I said exactly the same words to him...in his face. It‘s crazy when u feel that: It‘s just a mirroring effect.
The was sweet řrþffffqqql qua lpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp1pppppppp1pppp1ppp11pppp1p1ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp111ppppppppppp1pp11pp1ppp1pp1p111p1ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppqqqqqppppppqqqqpqqqppppqpppqppppqpqpqpqqpqQqPP₩₩]]]₩₩],
Those who have not experienced narcissistic abuse will never understand this kind of hell
Neverrr, you gotta have been through it to truly understand what it's like.
True😢
Yes!!! Many people can be vey opinionated about those who stay and criticised and that make me isolate and dout myself and the seriouness of the situation even more...also make me feel terribly guilty for some reason.
❤soo true
REPORT WOKE MAFIA CRIMES. MY CHILDREN AND I have been under attack using malicious AI / energy weapons with constant death threats, rape by lesbians et al., 24/7 harassment and physical abuse: global supremacists, terrorists, communists - China, N Korea, Communist Republicans, Iran and Russia
"Narcissists rely on you not relying on yourself." Probably one of the wisest and truest things I've ever heard about narcissism, holy shit.
I thought the same thing. It defines it perfectly.. words so simple yet so complicated.
They also sabotage attempts to rely on oneself, which isn't strategically difficult in an "every little peon is a rival to please the bosses better" socioeconomic system. That is probably usually a bigger deal to the extent that there is an initial clout difference, like when a narcissistic parent singles out a kid for ruin or when the narcissist has a lot of money or connections, but fixation on strategy plays a role too.
One of the most memorable things my father has told me after a beating when I was a kid was "you did that to yourself". The cult of self-reliance carries its own baggage as a tool of abuse.
Trust your instincts before they destroy them.
undermine your confidence and strip you of your unique identity, destroy your health and credibility, avoid being held accountable for anything, explosive dramatics,- They will parrot you, as they have no original thoughts, and steal the credit. narcissists have an instinct for the attention-deprived. They come to the rescue, feel they own you, when they pillage your life, they feel justified, righteous- if you protest they will rise up like a biblical apocalypse and scheme to ruin you socially. Been there, in survival mode, being marginalized, led me to being a pioneer in many areas, naturally, I gravitated towards the practice of social distancing over a decade ago. Peace.
My narcissist would flip out if I wouldn’t let him help me. It was you think you are all that with your lips perched out acting like your all that.
"Love makes your brain grow, fear makes it shrink" - BEAUTIFUL
Ever since I left my narcissist father & dysfunctional family, my brain has bin growing loads, I’m so glad I left
@Lisa ggyyyg😫🥂🥂😫😍😫😍🥂😫🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂😫🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷😫🥂😍😫😍😫😍😍🥂😍😫😫🥂🐷🥂😍🥂🐷😫🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂😍😍🐷🥂🥂😍😍🥂😍🥂🥂😍🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷😫🥂🥂🥂🥂😍🥂🥂🥂🥂😍😍🐷🥂😍🥂🥂😫🥂🥂😍🥂😍🐷😫😍🥂🐷🐷😍🥂🥂😫😍😍😍😫🥂🥂😫🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷👏😍🐷👏🐷🥂🥂🐷👏🥂🥂🐷🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂🐷🐷👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🐷🐷🐷👏🏽🥂👏🏽🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂👏🏽🥂👏🏽👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂👏🏽👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂👏🏾🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂👏🏾🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏾🥂👏🏾🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🤪🥂🥂🤪🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🤪🤣🥂👏🏾🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🥂👏🏾🐷🐷🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🐷🥂🥂🥂🥂👏🏽
@Lisa huuubuhuhujuubuuuhuhu
This statement is so profound!! She could not have said it any better
Besides the metaphorical aspect, how do they know this to be true?
I want to cry for everyone in this documentary. I've lived it too. Currently no contact but struggling to overcome the trauma bond. No one knows until they've lived it, no one else understands
It’s 4 months later... i hope you are thriving ♥️
@@cherbeware7421 You won't die. You will if you go back. I'm financially trapped. If I could leave and never think of him again. My trauma bond has almost gotten me killed. How would our families feel if we let these demons take our lives. Pray. Ill pray for you too. Your strong enough to get through this. Write a book about your survival one day. 🌹
So true , that’s legit what I just said while watching this and commenting. It makes it so much more difficult to process , deal with and to try and escape & overcome it for that reason. If you try and explain to most people it will come off as either dramatic or maybe even like your the crazy one and they will fail to understand and will doubt the severity of the abuse and how crucial the reality of this literal crisis is. I isolated from everyone in my life and stopped doing all the things that made me happy or I loved doing to avoid being a burden on other and upsetting her. There I was a once confident , successful , popular and decent looking man in his 20’s whose 6’5 230lbs and yet I was living a life ruled by fear like a hostage and dealing with constant pain,suffering and never ending abuse from what appeared to be a gorgeous looking nice acting seemingly innocent woman that was petite and no more than 5’7. Yet I still stuck around and kept giving her all of my energy and being her victim as I handed her a decade of my life living in literal hell on earth where the devil is also actually your roommate and in your bed and every aspect of your life ensuring your never content , happy or too confident , successful or ,comfortable by saying or doing whatever was required to strip you of those positive states the instant the feel your in them... I am so sorry you also had to endure such pain and suffering and I pray you stay strong and find peace and happiness, I am only a little over a month removed and I somehow still go through phases of wanting to go back to her and assume the blame and I battle deep depressions and anxiety over it also. Other times I feel ok and just present which reminds me that i am finally somewhat ‘FREE’ which I haven’t been In Over a decade and reminds me why I need to move on and give myself enough time to heal...
god bless you and I pray that you encounter the love you deserve
So true , that’s legit what I just said while watching this and commenting. It makes it so much more difficult to process , deal with and to try and escape & overcome it for that reason. If you try and explain to most people it will come off as either dramatic or maybe even like your the crazy one and they will fail to understand and will doubt the severity of the abuse and how crucial the reality of this literal crisis is. I isolated from everyone in my life and stopped doing all the things that made me happy or I loved doing to avoid being a burden on other and upsetting her. There I was a once confident , successful , popular and decent looking man in his 20’s whose 6’5 230lbs and yet I was living a life ruled by fear like a hostage and dealing with constant pain,suffering and never ending abuse from what appeared to be a gorgeous looking nice acting seemingly innocent woman that was petite and no more than 5’7. Yet I still stuck around and kept giving her all of my energy and being her victim as I handed her a decade of my life living in literal hell on earth where the devil is also actually your roommate and in your bed and every aspect of your life ensuring your never content , happy or too confident , successful or ,comfortable by saying or doing whatever was required to strip you of those positive states the instant the feel your in them... I am so sorry you also had to endure such pain and suffering and I pray you stay strong and find peace and happiness, I am only a little over a month removed and I somehow still go through phases of wanting to go back to her and assume the blame and I battle deep depressions and anxiety over it also. Other times I feel ok and just present which reminds me that i am finally somewhat ‘FREE’ which I haven’t been In Over a decade and reminds me why I need to move on and give myself enough time to heal...
god bless you and I pray that you encounter the love you deserve
1 week since he beat me. 1 week he has been in police custody. I feel lost. I love him but I know it's trauma bond I want to not feel anything
It sounds like narcissists literally hurt people so badly until it can actually become deadly. It hurts people so horribly.
U aint kidding
Yes, my house has been broken into, illegal surveillance, stalking 24/7, and non stop harassment of my family and friends as they're being told what to say and do.
@@KatyYoder-cq1kc That’s horrible and something needs to be done about it to protect you.
It is death by a thousand cuts. I have many debilitating physical ailments from the chronic stress & lack of sleep 💔
I tried to kill myself to get away from my husband. He's DEAD now. But I am dealing with the emotional aftermath turmoil it has left me in. 😵💫😵💫😵💫
20 years of marriage. my doctor made me leave him. she kept telling me he was killing me. Divorcing was even worse. Ended with poverty and shame from his lies about me. 5 years NO CONTACT !!! and i am joyful again!!! my diary helped me to realize how weird and bad he was. keep a diary!
Most people don't talk about the continued psychological trauma when you leave and share kids with them. Sometimes it doesn't just end, because you can't go no contact when you coparent.
Hey Jill, I'm glad your finding yourself. That's exactly what I do keep a diary. Last time I left him my whole family made me convinced I was over exaggerating ever thing. That's after me trying myself to fix everything for 4 years now I'm documenting it so the next I get that courage again,, I would never doubt myself. Enjoy your life, forgive yourself. Don't care about shame, cause these people weren't there when you were suffering. Who cares what the believe. Sending you all the best wishes
Your doctor did not make you leave him. You made a choice - a highly intelligent choice - to leave him 💖 Please remember to own your decisions & to expect that others will respect your choices. You've got this!
highly recommended!
22 years married, ten years divorced with no contact, he sucked me in to help care for family. Tried to isolate and control again! NO WAY! Now that we know, we have to be vigilant to keep NO CONTACT. I'm sorry you had to go through this...
The worst thing about narcissist abuse is it's abuse you can't see. There's no visible bruises or scars. No one except another victim would understand. You try and explain it to someone who doesn't know and they just don't get it. At age 20 I was in a physically abusive relationship and the guy ended up in jail. I met my narcissist at 28 and I dont care how screwed up this sounds, but I'd straight take being beaten 20 times over than the abuse of a narcissist. They literally make you go crazy and cross every wire in your brain and when you finally escape them they tourment you beyond belief. When your try and defend yourself you look crazy because they've masterfully manipulated everyone against you because they're always 2 steps ahead. I think these people are demonic, evil is coursing through their blood streams!
So well seid. Iv been so depressed wondering why every friend and lover iv had has hurt me. And made me feel it was all my fault. Now I'm realizing that I'm attracted to them because I was brought up to feel bad about myself since a toddler. So iv been attracted to what I know best.. but not anymore. 🙏😔❤️☮️🌅🌄
@@meljc2823 I'll pray for you girl. Life is hard sometimes. I've been doing counseling and realized I have toxic traits myself. I'm extremely co-dependant and always latched to whoever came along. The red flags for my narc were there from the beginning. I chose to ignore them just so I had somebody there. At least you recognize the source problem of why you end up in those relationships. Keep working on yourself and eventually when you are healthy, you will attract someone who is healthy too.
They operate from the seven deadly. Thery refuse reproach. They refuse to self reflect. They live of the lie. There is no compromise, understanding, resolve, or progress. When trying to reason with them, the conversation always veers off into vicious crazy circles of pure nonsense. All this, and I could add more, is exactly the traits and nature of a demon. No joke. The exact way of dealing with a demon. Oppressive, destructive, un- progressing, anti-life, etc. After all Satan is the original narcissist. He is the father of lies and they are his people. People of the lie. Straight out!
@parka beawwwer, this is one of the best explanations I've heard. I totally agree with you
@@snoopy-mf7nv 🔥🔥🔥
When the devil can't reach you, he sends a narcissist. This documentary made me extremely emotional as my disgusting "relationship" was explained.
Well said 💯 spot on
Nothing worst than dating a Narcissist that is in the process in converting themselves in a Satanist... :( GOD is BIG.. as he rescued me! YES! How can it be that I still have that strong BOND and it upsets me, but thank GOD.. for his commands and mercy.. Must love God above all!! Above all! This is an earthly bond/love... God's love is more beautiful in all ways. :) Amen.
Ya first seeing this I understood what had happened in my life ,Im sorry and sad I probably never trust and know real love ,leaves me in a dark place.
Me too
I don't believe in the devil but they are devils on earth ! and they know how to choose their preys, they are always with nice and emotional people. Anyway two narcissists will not last long together !
I have been married for twenty years, and I just recently realized that my husband is a narcissist. I felt like I was the only one in my situation, until I saw another video about narcissistic and emotional abuse! It makes me wonder how many people are hidden inside their homes not knowing they are being abused!
I'm right with you 17 years. After I got gaslight in front of my best friend, that I maybe see once in every 5 years. That did it for me. She turned into the victim and I was the bad guy. 17 years of instant rage out of left field, aggressive driving, can't have a decent conversation without turning into an argument, cursing and yelling at me, controlling on what we do, her way or no way, just to name a few. I tried leaving 4 times and came back, now I'm done. Called a lawyer and getting ready to start the process. I'm proud of you!
I became of two female narcs ..My childhood was very very very traumatic
A narcissist enters like a needle, and spreads quietly like a cancer
You’re right it’s such an insidious disorder and way too many beautiful people are being affected by them, I was 26 years married and was only able to see in hindsight how bad it was
@@justinekelly7137 same here 17 years! I think back and realize my spouse said things about me that I would never in my wildest dreams would say about a person who you says they "Love You".
"Narcissist rely on you not relying on yourself" That was so deep and truth. Selflove is your biggest weapon against them ❤
True. Very true
Underrated comment asf
@@kelly.nicole hahaah, next time i put it in capslock for the people in the back 😉 Perhaps add a few smileys with it to intensify it...
Yes! This is truth.ive learned to calm down and speak my mind,stick up for myself calm but firmly instead of letting them get me to the anger level of trying to yell my point of view (pointless) and then they get what they want, which is to say things like "oh look,see, you're crazy..just like everyone says.they all see it" to make you doubt yourself.nope.i know right from wrong.im going to act calmly now and walk away so that I can turn those tables.
How do you leave if your the man with children? The man becomes homeless, not her.
Come on UA-cam, just recommend this to the rest of the planet already so everyone can start healing already.
Yes! This was in the side bar of a video I watched on a different topic. It has never come up when I’ve searched narcissistic abuse. With all the censorship, I wonder if this is being suppressed. Perhaps Zuckerberg recognizes himself? 🤔
Amen.
This popped up for me after I sent a WhatsApp message about someone I know who I think is a covert narcissist
Yes well said!!!
Esp after in the USA we had such a narcistic president who also was incredible revengeful, yes they can be charming, but it’s not real, they only do it if they need to get something from it. Its this love bombing, charming behavior, they get away with all the bad stuff, it’s rationalized away or it’s our fault. Gaslighting our truth what we saw and heard ourselves is nog true. Alternative facts ... it’s as if all narcissists stood up and showed their ugly self a bit.
The switching between good person and bad person probably messed with me the most.
I call it " lightswitch",
Instant on, 0 to 100 in a blink of the eye
OMG my HEART AND EXPERIENCE.... knows what your saying and FEELINGS OF UR PAIN. THANK YOU ALL FOR THIS DOCUMENTARY!!! MAKES me want to cry...I did... people it hurts me to even see or hear people go threw this... There cases are so much more complicated. Be strong... I went threw something like that... ohhh I thought I was Loca Crazy... And I knew I wasnt wrong... We fell in Love with these people.... Crazy
Its scary... The Giy in the BLUE SWEATER YOUR CUTE and your story is OMG....THE LADY WITH THE BABY..AWWW GODBLESS...EVERYONE ..AMH
🥰❤💯🤍 I WILL LIKE TO FIND A GROUP CHAT TO TALK SO I CAN UNDERSTAND MORE AND GET MY HURT OUT....ITS BEEN 4 YEARS.. STILL THERE PAIN.. I CRY EVERYDAY OF THE PAIN AND HOW MY LIFE CHANGE..
GOD WILL BE WITH ME.. AND I FIND A GOOD MAN ONE DAY . BEST BELIEVE IT.. NOW I WILL KNOWWWW THE RED FLAGGGGSSS🚫🚫..AMH‼‼
@@samfoxx6358 🥰🥰
Oh yes... So unexpected.. I remember the pain and confusion of that.
Hi is the scapegoat united a real group? My adult sons are scapegoat and golden child, my daughter was the forgotten child or invisible, but it messed all four of us in our heads. Its a nightmare, im a recovering codependent having to ba accountable for allowing the damage to my kids. Im so hurt right now, how dare he make me believe he loved us ... no love, people be careful, a narcissist will destroy you and his kids, move far away, and never admit or recall anything you say. I want to get him by the neck....i hate him...we are so betrayed.
"Abuse felt like such a strong word, even when it became physical." Heartbreaking.
Relatable
A good person will Never pretend be a bad person
But
A bad person Will pretend to be a good person
🎯
I hear what you mean, but as I get older, I do try to hide good traits unless I am around trusted people because certain people with bad intentions are looking for good people. If you just seem neutral, they move on.. so yeah I guess I'm not pretending to be a bad person hahaha just trying to not be noticed as "good" until I know someone
Excellent quote!
Wise words...& You're exactly right because our empathy makes us damage our own selves if we deliberately cause harm to a innocent person, that's what makes us a "good person"🙂.
Not true. The only way to get rid of bad people is to do bad things to them. And even when you not a bad person. Its the only thing that works to get rid of them.
Thank Goodness for the internet to help us discover things like this these days.
LOL....🤣🖖🤣🖖🤣🖖🤣
Yeah you are right 👏🏼
Thank the thousands of electronics engineers over 75 years for it. God had nothing to do with it. Any more than the tooth-fairy.
I say thank Goodness. It's much more FACTUAL...
Belief in mythical beings is the hardest habit to break.
@@Theineluctable_SOME_CANT No shit
@Tim Lyons I was raised "Church of England" in the late 1960s. I realized something is seriously wrong with the Old Testament ar age 8 or 9.
So I looked into the religions of the people of this little planet floating in Space, existing in Time, movement exactly dictated by the Force of Gravity...
It's ALL BS.
This documentary should be shown in schools and colleges everywhere to spare the coming generations of these hideous beings. Excellent work thank you.🙌🧡💛💙
@@reneekelley4279 beware...this is a scam...google it people...
@@bandieboo8102 Agreed. And even if it WASN’T, it’s still a terrible freakin idea!!! The vast majority of people KNOW when their significant other is being unfaithful so why would anyone truly want to know ALL of the details??? Even if they think they do at the time, trust me- it won’t accomplish anything positive or productive, but simply just hurt the person more in the end. And I honestly believe that no one truly wants to know!! They just don’t want to believe it that’s all so they want proof. That’s why that comment didn’t sit right with me from the get!!!
@@christinafidance340
You have an interesting perspective.
Some of us like to know the truth and to not live a lie or be part of a lie.
Some people have a healthy level of self respect and want an honest partner, not one who sneaks behind your back, lies to your face, and lives as a deceptive liar. And often, is then happy to pretend you are the only one, when in fact, they have been putting their hands, mouth, tongue, and other parts all over someone else's body and putting on their super sexy acts for this someone or these people but not you.
Many people, sooner or later, decide, that is NOT how they want to live for the remainder of their one and only lives, or to encourage their sons and daughters to believe that it is all okay. Some also don't want their grandchildren as well as their children to grow up with that total lack of respect and all of the tragic and destructive aftermath.
Some women go out and find really good honest men, and wonder why they ever put up with such selfish, shallow, pathetic, deceitful, empty messed up human beings.
It all gets down to what you will or won't put up with.
If someone started lying to me, I would investigate. No question about it. If a small investigation had
concerning results I would go as far as possible to get the truth.
But that is because I have my standards clear from the outset, and consistently. And as an empath, truth is important. Plus I know my worth.
They are not hideous people, they are sick individuals,it's not that black and white. But I agree that videos like this should be shown in school, and psychology should be taught early inschools.
@@reneekelley4279 get rid of him you are a wonderful woman I can feel that thru the energy of your words. Please do not let him take any more of your time. That is the most precious thing over money.
It’s all about control, not love. It is heartbreaking how well it is disguised literally behind the most beautiful love
Love bombing, gaslighting, devaluation, discard, hoovering, repeat = Typical covert narcicistic abuse! #Redflags
It's such a giant joke looking back. The constant critisism and gaslighting. Like how do these people even come up with this?
I am so happy they included a man into this documentary, so often men are demonized as the only ones able to abuse, which makes it even harder for men to get help.
On One evening of October 2019 I was down with a severe fever and I couldn't give my time of the day to her like I always used to. She was at her home and I text her told her that I was at the doctor getting my medicines prescribed. I sent her a photo of the prescription. She acts up , but what takes the cake was what came next. She goes on to sext some random guy on the internet and then sends me screenshots of her sexts with this guy ,all while I'm writhing with fever in bed. 😶
@@brandonpinto5290
They are sadistic dillusional.
I just dumped the a so called friend who turned out to be the wicked witch of the West. No kidding.....bc Canada.
I'm so glad to be rid of someone that has her own freak show with her family.
BLESSINGS
@@brandonpinto5290 Holy crap, some people are so sick. I'm glad you got away.
The patriachy indirectly protects female narcissists as much as it protects male ones. That men can't show weakness or be "victims" and that women are not perpetrators means people don't believe men. They are dangerous as most are covert and their public facade well built.
Yes he is Adorable i noticed him
if you come from an abusive background, it isn't that you are attracted to an abusive person, it is just that you will have a high tolerance for abuse because that is normal to you and you will make excuses for the abuse whereas someone who grew up in a healthy environment will not have the same tolerance for abuse and will leave.
Very well said. Absolutely true.
This isn't necessarily true. I had a good childhood, I never heard my parents or grandparents screaming or arguing or degrading each other and I ended up in 2 narcissistic relationships(I think the last one had BPD) the 1st was a 9 year relationship with 1 child and the 2nd was over a year and a half. I'm empathic, always see the best in people and believe they are decent, boy was was I ever wrong.
@@bellarose6501 Her situation didnt apply to you though she was talking about those who went through abuse in their childhood
Fortunately I wanted the opposite with what I grew up with. I have no tolerance for abuse, I never want to experience what I went through as a child ever again. Must add my younger sister thought it was normal and she must stick it out with her abusive husband because that is how we were raised. I had to convince her that is nonsense. After 20 years of marriage she eventually divorced the creep.
@Hélia Alves I never said it was a choice for all, read my comment again, it was a conscious choice for me. From a very young age I decided I will look for something else in a relationship or not be in one at all. I was a very observing child and at 10/11 I begged my parents to get a divorce because I wanted it all to stop. They loved each other but the abuse was bad. If my dad and mom were not at each others throats my mom abused me during their happy periods. There was an actual pattern. I got married much later than my siblings and I looked for the opposite in a partner than what my parents were.
It's terrifying to realize one day you fell in love with someone who doesn't even really exist.
Control freaks with no self control.
It’s so hard to let go of this mirage. I feel like I’ll never love again but the person I fell in love with never existed, this perfect person was never real. God help me.
Excellent way to put it!
@@pumakel1 yes you fell in love with a fantasy. Sad but so true. It took me 20 years to realize I am not the problem or crazy they are.
For me that was the first man I saw, when I opened my eyes and looked at him just after I was born - MY FATHER.
ONE OF US FINALLY HAS TO DIE FOR THIS TO END.
Well personally I recognized the change in personality and realized it was only going to get worse and left and other people were weird about that as if I should be more broken hearted etc than I was and I tried to explain it was over for me before I actually left if you are going to be physically assaulting me and degrading me emotionally don't expect me to grieve much over you.
My ex narcissist actually told me "People like me more than they like you" (this was after his smear campaign behind my back to everyone we knew).
My response must've actually come to me through intuition, because my response was "That's because they don't really know you"
It was gaslight city after that. I know it was wrong but I still get great satisfaction from remembering how I backed him up against the wall and threatened to cut his tongue out after 20 years of his abuse.
Those big eyes full of fear and him backed up against the wall. The coward knew he'd gone too darn far that time. I left him soon after that.
Life is so stress free now. Once you lived in the hell of a narcissist, things as small as hearing the birds sing and watching the sun rise are stunningly beautiful.
My soul is lit! 😊❤️
This is my wish for everyone who has suffered narcissistic abuse. You are more special than you know and you are worthy and very loved. ❤️
You sound exactly like a disgusting narcissist... How curious. 😏
My goodness... My ex used to say something similar "Everyone loves me" - out of nowhere - it was not even relevant to our conversation. He had no answer when I asked why he was even saying that?? 😂
He tells me people thinks Im nice but im pure evil
Beautiful messsge. I pray your living your best life 🙏
God bless you for getting out.
This should be tought in schools. Like business and money managing.
It's much more important than either of those. Giving kids the tools to recognise dysfunctional relationships should be a priority.
I agree, physical and psychological autonomy
Also medical examination to protect people from drug and alcohol abuse after seeing what it does to the body.
@@couchramblingsdot-com5216 I agree with you. Thing is some of these narcissistic people really capitalise on social media to ramp up their abuse. I wonder if the education should incorporate this.
What a difference it would make if it was taught at schools
If you haven't been through it, you'll never understand.
I don't understand how it feels.
There are people who went through it
*as children* . As they have narc ‘rents
I've been through it so much I don't understand how anyone hasn't encountered it in America since they're in every place I've ever been in California.
Exactly!!!!💔😭
@Jinn Jinn exactly, I've been told, "you're too sensitive, that's not abuse, your mom is just strict, you're being a brat" They completely dismiss years of trauma all of my life, and they have never experienced it themselves. It's not easy to leave, it never will be, I haven't left yet because I depend on my parents financially.
Jeckle and Hyde behind closed doors, totally charismatic in front of others! To the person reading this who is also a narcissistic abuse survivor: I see you. I hear you. I believe you. ❤
Thank you because I've felt unnoticed and unbelieved for 8 months now - since I anniciated the divorce. Because most of the scars are not visible from the outside. Only those who have LIVED through it know the damage I feel to my soul! 😢🙏
to all family and friends, I was the scapegoat, the bad person...while she was the violent narcissistic explosive person over nothing, just for the fun of it
Song on Narc Abuse, check it out: ua-cam.com/video/dCZaZI4FiEM/v-deo.html
That exactly how I described this very sick narc, always blessing others on the outside. So Fake, but their inside is totally Demonic making it very difficult to get others to believe you in their gas lighting abuses and death threats by damaging my property and they’re right next door, police and no one does anything BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Where can I find a Good Godly understanding therapist and Lawyer? THIS IS GOING TO STOP NOW! I feel so stuck and going all the way with this. Please Help!🙏
♥️
This cruelty should be considered a crime, because it ruins the victim’s self and life.
@@humanity1st. Yes, Yes,Yes!
Yes definitely they should have a record saying what they are
@@HelloThere-ih8fj100% agreed.
This is
Monster Inc. Or Monstor Ink
It is a crime. Abuse is illegal. Emotional included.
This is spot on! I was married to one who was also an alcoholic. Like being married to Satan. And the day I left him and ran with my 2 children…I didn’t think I belonged in a shelter. I thought it wasn’t as bad as that. I found out I was one of the worst cases they’d seen. The mind control is mind boggling. Praise God I’m free!! ❤️🙏🏼❤️
The addiction/alcoholism makes it so much worse. I totally get it. Sending you and your babies so much love. You got this. You are incredibky strong!! ♥️♥️♥️
You got this! Keep strong, claim yourself back and be safe! You're your own shelter, trust yourself and love yourself!
I wish you all the best but foremost to HEAL and to GROW from it.
Warm hugs, much love❤
@@masterofwit339 Very true. Thank you!
I experienced the same, they give you a life sentence. There is so much damage
You still belong to you.
I suddenly thought, hey, know what, "He doesn't have me now". (Negative).
But:
"I still have me!". (Positive).
💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
This documentary is so true, only people who experienced the narcissist relationship will understand how detrimental the narcissist relationship is. I am a narcissist survivor
Me too :(
Im proud of you.
im a survivor too, it had taken 20 plus years for it to fully come out of her, this video is 100% correct I feel for you having to of gone through this too.
I am living the nightmare now. It is horrendous
@@tonyrobbins1665 sorry to hear that, make plans and stay 10 steps in front! keep calm, tell the narc nothing and lie if you have to and bail out.
This is the most important documentary today. Should be mandatory viewing for all humans.
ikr
Definitely,, I think this should be taught in hight school from the age of 16yrs old, because there is so much young adults who are in narcissistic abuse boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. Honestly, some young people are crazy with controlling, verbal abuse, hitting honestly I swear this topic needs to be taught early.
Spot on 👍👍👍
There should be laws against narcissists ,,, this is a word wide pandemic,,,
Absolutely!!
Whoever is going through this you aren't alone, they want to break you because they see qualities in you that they can't posses like love and empathy, they are predators. Listen to your body and get out, don't let them change you ❤
HWAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CANT GET OUT DUE TO NO WERE TO GO NO MONEY NO MEANS OF DOING NOTHING OR NOONE FRFR AND WHEN I SAY NOONE I MEAN NOT A DAMN SOUL BECAUSE OF THE LIES AND HATRED THAT YOU HAVE PUT ON OTHERS BECAUSE OF THE NARC CONVINCING YOU THAT THEY ARE UP TO NO GUD AND THAT YOU SHOULD WALK AWAY FROM THEM AND STAY AT HOME.?
The narcissist is so sick that they will make YOU seek therapy.
Not me. I divorced his ass.
Yep. Had that occur I told him he needed therapy and to go fuck himself.
Shit! They're soulsuckers and can suck a person's will to live. And enjoy that.
It’s the worst thing that can ever happen to you, it can affect you emotionally and mentally it’ll leave you scars that won’t heal.
@@tonika7543 all those scars can be healed and turned in to strength and wisdom 💖
Watching this trying my hardest not to cry. 22 years of abuse. Almost free
Tried not too, didn’t work 😓 Never have heard or seen anything describing my EXACT life
what can we do to help you escape
Make a plan, contact people who understand and care and until you are completely ready leave and don’t have any contact
When you finally leave you will realise you were already alone in the worse way
Leave him to Karma
They won’t change
PRAYERSNLUV, GIVE IT OVER TO GOD, GET FREE SAFELY& THEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND START TO HEAL!!!!KEEP A STRONG SPIRITUAL BOND WITH OUR SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST, MEDITATE, MAYBE TRY YOGA, WHAT IM SAYING IS YOU NEED TO HEAL EMOTIONALLY AND PAMPER YOURSELF& REVEL IN BEING FREE!!!! KEEPING YOU IN MY PRAYERS!!!! PRAYERSNLUV 👼👼💝💝✝️✝️🙏🙏💘💘
And we're just talking about this kind of abuse in romantic relationships. Imagine the lives of all of those who have narcissist mothers or fathers…
❗️❗️
It's hell, I'm 27 and I'm just starting to become my own person because most of my life was lost to the invisible battle I had with protecting myself from my narcissistic father, so much of my life, so much of my childhood has been lost.
I've been getting the help I need even so, just the thought of my parent being okay with the mental abuse over so many years is a hard one to digest.
All is not lost, life starts the day we begin seeing the beauty in the world ❤
Melina,thank for mentioning folks who grew up with narcissistic parents. My relationship with my dad taught me to put up and shut up so I was already geared to do that with my ex. Bless you for your empathy. The emptiness and loneliness in that relationship were extremely painful.
My mother is a narcissist and I feel awful when I’m around her. She confuses me and she is negative. I think she was abused as a child.
Bosses
The best content I have seen on NPD!!! Should be taught in schools so we could have the tools to identify those predators before it is too late.
💯 agreed
Yesssss!!!
I so agree with this. They should teach narcissism in high school and college. So people can be prepared.
Yes!! This info could save lives, instead of the nonsense they are teaching in schools these days, like the Lie of lots of different genders. Let's teach things that will actually help others!!!
Please, my fellow victims, understand that the reason you attracted a narcissist is because you are on a path of learning to love yourself so strongly that you will become unshakable.
This! I believe 100%. As I am building myself from scratch through the grace of God better than ever. Self love is the best love.
❤ Yes! So true! ❤
I want to believe that.
Amen! The words of a healed warrior
@@candaceharris3675 believe it! It’s true! You will find more and more joy the longer you are away/no-contact. It takes will.. and EDUCATE everyday! Knowledge is power!
For anyone who's still in an relationship with a narcissistic: the fact that you're here means that you've recognised it and it's the first step. Work on your safety planning and get out. It's hard, so so so hard but you will survive it. You'll come out broken, damaged and bruised but you will get through it. And trust me, you'll rise from all this and you'll shine brighter than ever.
Don't give up, never give up.
15 years in an abusive marriage, 4 years out. Every day gets better. Raise your knuckles to the sky and fight for yourself. Love to all ❤
Amen
Yes and no. Because i only realised to have been in a rship w one years after it has passed while watching a psychologist's vids abt narcissist and personality disorder as psychology in general interests me. And when she explained abt various types of narc, my stomach churned at the explanation of covert narc. My mind was brought to many episodes. I ve thought he was smwhat damaged, but surprised it s due to his narcissism🥶🥶.
So I did, minimized everything then, cannot believe how close I came to death. I had lost myself then, came out of it successfully. It was a very difficult journey, his fight was with a woman who was raising his two two daughters, he never cared, I crossed every hurdle in my path that he created for me and raised two awesome daughters, a successful career for myself, and on my way to helping others in similar situation. Experienced it firsthand, now I know what "Battered Women Syndrome", "Stockholm Syndrome" , "Trauma Bonding" means, it is important to teach people about narcissist's abuse and how harmful it is!
I just left everything and ran last month..figure I can replace material things..My Soul is more important than any form of beating or abuse
Thank you for this
"In a relationship you should feel like yourself. And my biggest sign that I'm dealing with a narcissist is that I'm feeling smaller, like I have to fight to be seen, you know. And in any case that's not a healthy dynamics." -Aletta
How bizarre the manipulation though! At first they do see you recognise you your talents your gifts say they love and respect you and your mind beliefs etc - then they pull all of it apart slowly bit by bit and break you down chip by chip you feel smaller less seen not heard, gaslighted ghosted or stonewalled - then they apologise say they want to do something - and say and say - but DO NOTHING but keep perpetuating the avoidant crazy making abuse. I am hurting so much from this last trauma and after the last I swore no more narcs - they are just a magnet to our goodness - or our GODESSNESS I even wanted to call my last abuser my God after he said I was his Godess - My Goodness how the good want to believe that others will see our Godessness - Save your NESS for YOU the Next healthy healed aware relationship you create will hopefully be better... However yes you never know what people will do - you have to learn you can handle it and move on - that one thing I really have learned and loved in this movie!
Yessssss this is the number one sign !!!
Stay strong don't give your precious time and precious life to anyone that belongs to you and only you. Regain your strength and run asap you deserve better. Time heals everything don't invest a minute more in that
hate to sound corny but i feel like the blonde chick understands me more than anyone i know in my real life this is so crazy
Beautifully written
Narcissists , besides psychopats are the only type of people who would intentionally try to hurt you with absolutely ZERO remorse. Saddistic
The word 'Sorry," seems to not exist in their vocabulary. If it is, it only to further their destruction of your self esteem.
Narcissists and Psychopaths, both controls and stalks others, and feeds off on drama and others pain. JazzyT.
REPORT WOKE MAFIA CRIMES. MY CHILDREN AND I have been under attack using malicious AI / energy weapons with constant death threats, rape by lesbians et al., 24/7 harassment and physical abuse: global supremacists, terrorists, communists - China, N Korea, Communist Republicans, Iran and Russia
The extreme shifts between fake kindness and cruelty makes the trauma bond stronger than you suffer from cognitive dissonance.
This is the exact explanation of what happened to me.
What that mean?
correct!
@@lisamarieromeo6122 cognitive dissonance is when you experience tension from two different experiences: 1) I love that person 2) That person humiliates me. The tension and pain is very strong. In dissonance we try to minimize one of the two to make the experience bearable. like we use our mind to create excuses to forget one of the two. trauma bond is the emotional bond, when one gets emotionally attached to the person who causes the abuse. Consider this: '' First they are very seductive and kind, Then there are red flags. Then when the person starts to increase the abuse, its utterly confusing because they will alternate it with goodness, tenderness, kindness. That messes someone's brain. In behavioral experiments scientists would administer electrical shocks to mice, alternating them with positive rewarding stimulus-food. The more random the connection between the two, the more addicted the mice would become. They couldn't stop hitting the button. So this response of staying is a very addictive response. Not only one wants to experience that positive goodness they give, but its also an unconscious need for fairness, they need the person who hurt them the most to undo the damage. Add on this experiences with narcissistic parents. Lethal cocktail Deep breath for everyone, acknowledge the red flags for red flags. Acknowledge abuse for abuse. Be intellectually honest with yourself, dont make excuses. Leave. '' I hope that helps xx
My doctor said it can give you ADHD and memory loss
12 years ago no one talked about this. I had no idea what narcissism was and I was alone in our house with a 10 month old baby, isolated from everyone I was close to, ready to let the old me go completely. But then I found an obscure article that described what I was experiencing, all of the bizarre behavior and manipulation and I cried. I cried knowing I wasn’t crazy, I wasn’t alone and I had a name for what I was living in. It was the best thing I could have found. Thank God for videos like this and their accessibility.
👌
dude they are everywhere after one it opens your eyes kinda like dmt, a perspective check not allowing you to trust
I would like the same to happen to me when I have a baby. I went through 7 long year after before I realized that.
God sent you that article because he saw your pain.
@@cwhyharris7473 ❤️
From the bottom of my heart, thank you. Only those who have lived it can understand.
Thank you, I'm hoping that the people who haven't lived this will have a better understanding too, after watching this
I second that emotion! Thank you
@@AlettaMeijer shared widely, Thank You soooo much!
Aletta Meijer Thank you so much. I’m still involved and trauma bonding has hit me hard. I need help but this video has really helped!
Agreed💯👌
“Narcissists rely on you not relying on yourself.”
Oof! Bingo!!
Very, very well observed & said. It felt good to hear that 👍
🎯
My narcissistic ex is currently engaging in a smear campaign...telling everyone who will listen that I was mentally unstable and abusive myself. He used my past traumas against me and purposely triggered me constantly to incite a breakdown, just so he could call me crazy afterwards. He had me believing it for a long time. My mental and physical health as well as my self esteem was at an all time low during the course of our relationship. Once I finally left him, he showed his true colors. They are truly devils in disguise.
I am so sorry this has happened to you. I've had the same thing happen to me multiple times, and it's the worse when they use your traumas against you and try to incite a breakdown. I remember once I grabbed a knife to defend myself because my ex was getting aggressive and trying to gaslight me to the point he must've thought I was really stupid to not see how blatantly he was lying to me. He then turned the situation into how I was so mentally unhinged I was going to hurt him and it wasn't like that at all, I was just genuinely afraid for my life and trying to defend myself.
I can relate. My ex friend did the same. Stay strong and just keep believing in you
I know the feeling, my ex did the same 😔 just awful
Reactive abuse .. I always fall into that trap .. try explaining your problem w them and they don't want too have any resolution .. it's like their Aliens from another planet , scary how they all have the same M.O or have the same mind F ***ck play book empty shallow and can suck the life out of a room .
@@victoriavitoroulis3273 💯
" A monopoly on the truth" A perfect way to describe it!
Kat Worth omg yes
Why you solitarial living ? Everyone on earth is toxic in one way or more ways?
@@8191-m8t not everyone is toxic. We may all be a little neurotic, big difference.
@@WildflowerAnn If you’re neurotic (and I am), then you’re also toxic. No one who exists at one with nature is neurotic.
This guy looks absolutely shattered, i just want to give him a hug
Please see my Comment "Aside from the nightmare ..."
Narcs are the best actors in the world but for there own entertainment, everyone of them would have Oscars in there trophy cabinet and yet I don't know why I'm saying this as a narc reading this would take it as a compliment and not a slight.
It's so sad to see...he looks so broken and traumatized. I sincerely hope that he was able to find some kind of healing for the abuse he suffered. I hope they all do
@Venus Gomez Hang in there. If you need help, say so. I would be happy to try and do so.
@Venus Gomez ive been out of mine for 6 months now, i am getting better but still so many issues. There is light at the end ❤
“I stepped over so many of my feelings because they triggered my empathy” this hit hard
To the " victims" who took part in that documentary , you are not victims at all to my opinion, you are heros, you are inspirations , sooo greatful to you from my heart.
I feel the same. It’s one thing to educate oneself with information on this topic but to actually watch real life people’s experiences with this insidious treatment of abuse has just put the last piece in this crazy puzzle 🧩 for myself and my recovery.... One foot in front of the other small steps each day is my new motto.... My Solider is up and standing, crawl walk until we can run again... 💜🙏💜🙏
@@michellerose7591 As a survivor of childhood incest followed by almost 50 years of narcissistic abuse, I’ve learned that my greatest enemy is within. Her name is Victim. You, Ms. Rose, are a hero. ❤️
True. I hate the word "victim" because it defines a person by another person's actions. I am nobody's victim. Yes I can be treated badly and I can be hurt by someone, but that does not make me a victim.
Great comment Eve x
i hate that everybody sees victim as a bad, vulnerable and even dumb thing. shit that we cant control just happens everyday. that doesnt mean we cant be victims and heroes at the same time. i am a victim survivor of multiple abuse and a hero as you say, and theres nothing wrong with that.
Narcs NEVER admit when they are wrong
Never!
They’re never wrong 😑
They cannot. It’s impossible for them. And that makes me nauseated.
Yes!
This is what confuses me because normally he doesn’t but now that I told him he has 30 days to move out I’m done he’s back to love bombing and hoovering. He’s saying how he knows he was the one who has been wrong and seeming sincere. Is this all an act as well?
You know you're with a crazy person when you yourself begin to feel like you are going crazy. It feels like a concussion.
Amen. Concussion and vertigo!
now that makes sense,
Cognitive dissonance is the worst. Doubting yourself is very, very hard.
“when I learned about narcissists I was finally able to…” She spoke to my soul, I will never forget the feeling when I first saw a video about narcissism, it all started to make sense. Knowledge is certainly power!
Narcissist is a nice name for a person full of demons. They enjoy seeing you hurt.
A narcissist takes pleasure in your pain.
This the one! 💯
Yes, and when you are down or sick, they will kick you even harder!
Someone once said “learning about narcissists is like becoming a demonologist”
And will say everyone else is like that...
Cognitive dissonance - your gut tells you to run away, but your brain is trying to justify your stay. Yup.That is what they are good at.
Always listen to your gut. It's NEVER wrong.
@@samichgrrl So, very, True !
A bit of Stockholm syndrome
Thank you, Iva, for explaining the meaning of cognitive dissonance.
Sam Vaknin is great at explaining it all :)
Both my father and mother are narcissists. It has taken me three decades, almost four, to break through the confusion brought on by my parents. I will say my mind has been completely warped by the mental abuse I have suffered. As I watch this documentary and read other comments, I see so many patterns that are intimately familiar to me. Over the years I have learned that the best defense against a narcissist is knowledge. Knowledge about each and every one of their tactics and recognizing patterns-not an easy task to accomplish in the midst of it. I have almost no emotion invested in my parents anymore, and I feel robbed because of it. But I guess that's life; you play the hand that was dealt to you. My parents are old and weak now, and they rely on me for many things; the tables have turned. But I'm going to do something that they never did for me; act with grace, compassion, empathy, and strength. Not because they deserve it, but because I choose to be the person they could never be.
Same here. No love. You’re on the right track. Stay who you are, and know neither of them could ever hold a candle to you. Know you are a strong one. Peace.
Bless you…. You choose who you are to the extent that your heart feels safe. Praying for you and all of us.
Identification of their repetitive patterns of abuse is what got me on the right track in identifying what these people are how they think and act. I've called them out on all their bad behaviour and cut off most of the reactive abuse they need to thrive.
They will not appreciate it. Beware of that thinking. You might be trying to convince yourself that you're above them, which is understandable. I decided to go grey rock with my narc dad. Simply fuc** him. He's not getting away with it. Hell for him.
It's so very hard. I suffered for sixty years. I have told my therapist l don't have a lot of time left my mental and physical health is in bad condition l don't care l just want to find happiness. I haven't found it and l have to wonder if l will ever find it. I don't know what happiness I'd. I don't know what it feels like. My narcissistic Mother completely enveloped me. I was nothing but an extension of her. If l catch myself reacting talking or thinking like l used to l feel violently I'll. It is insidious and cruel. You loose everything.
9 years together and 6 years married, I am finally escaping a narc. This vid was so eye opening so spot on and even triggering for me to watch.
I am so grateful for the support system I have around me.
Just reminding myself that none of this is my fault.
Are you alright? I wish you every success in escaping, don't ever forget it's not your fault and that you deserve peace 🙌
Have you watched other channels like "H.G. Tudor" (who is a real life narcissist), Dr. Ramani to name but two. I make a point of watching narc vids all the time (being an adult child of a malignant, covert narcissist). And yes it is NOT your fault.
@@raccuia1 you're not helping yourself watching it beyond like 3-6 months.
I did the same and it just turned me into a paranoid isolated and alone shell of a human.. they aren't helping you. You're in a cult, usually these people all.are narcs that are making money from you. It's not even engaging videos, after awhile you don't learn anything, it's just keeping you stuck in a trauma bond type of parasocial relationship.
I can relate. When lady said " my childhood set me up for the relationship"
It had the opposite effect on me but not my younger sister. She married an extremely narcissistic abuser, she followed the same patterns my mom did, left her husband, came back just to go through it all again untill I convinced her to move on. I remember begging my parents a the age of 10/11 to just get a divorce, in my mind it seemed like a solution for all of us. They never did, I promised myself a much healthier relationship and also not to get married as young as my mom and my sisters.
@Hélia Alves dear I have been married twice already, my first husband died in a car accident at age 35, he was an intelligent gentle giant. My second husband is the most wonderful person also very intelligent and gentle, mindful and empathetic. I am very happily married thank you.
Definitely same same same. Now currently healing childhood trauma through therapy
Leave your childhood behind. I was sexually molested for years but I don’t let that affect how I live today as an adult. They’re just excuses. Stay weak!
Same here
Their lack of genuine emotion or empathy is so confusing and disturbing.
You keep thinking they have normal emotions, I just have to get through to them. (I know now, but back then I was very young. 18-21) Eventually you realize they really don't think and feel like most people.
Quite devilish
Yes, you see it when they look at you with those dead shark-like eyes.
@@stephaniewagner6282 yes those eyes are only for their romantic partner. Everyone else is treated with respect & concern.
Exactly
You can be the most beautiful talented person & no matter what, they find something wrong with you.
that is on point n so true
My parents
They villanize your good points. They absolutely make things up. That is why it is pertinent that you KNOW THYSELF!! because then there's not so much questioning of self when they throw their crappy definitions out there
@Sverð Skjöld Oh shut your vile mouth. You sound like an abuser.
Everyday. It will never get better if it's that bad😔 just stay strong.
Being with my ex narc for the past 6 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective *Metaspyhub@gmail. com.* Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
was it worth writing all this just to promote your fucking business? i’m seeing more than 2 comments now like this
My heart hurts for all of us going through, getting out of, and healing from Narcissistic Abuse. I want to send out a global empathic hug for everyone who’s ever been crushed by this kind of B.S.
Same they literally make you crazy 😢then call you crazy when you thought they would love you forever
I keep on going from one to the next and almost like I turn them into these… I’m scared of getting close to anyone because I don’t know my boundaries esp having autism already
Prachtige muziek Aletta. Love to waste ❤
Afraid
To say but some people its life long.
Affects never leave them years after left seriousley ill mentally and phisicAlly sad
@@ResidentEvilReVerseUniverse I feel sick when I think of having relations with the person. He's a walking disease.
The confusing part is when narcissists accuse the victims of being narcissists. And maybe genuinely convince themselves they’re the victims.
Yes!
Yes, yet when that person seeks treatment and asks, Am I a narcissist? The counselor knows they are not the problem. A narcissist would never ask that.
@@earthangel_24 unless that’s their strategy. I’ve asked if I’m a narc and so has the narc who accuses me and others of being narcs. Maybe we all are ... I’ve even overheard the other making up bs about me and doing a number on their therapist.
It seems a safe rule of thumb is if you have empathy for others and have the ability to self reflect, you're likely not a narcissist. They may always view themselves as victims, but I think it's projection when they accuse their partners/others of narcissism.
That's a narcissists. They are never the problem they create !
I'm sitting here crying and all I want to do is go curl up in a ball. More people need to see this, especially law makers. The legal definition of abuse needs to expand beyond the physical.
Be kind to yourself. Sleep when you are tired, it will help you rewire your brain. It takes time but you will heal and be stronger than ever. Prayers for you. ❤️
Seven years out....my life is better than it's ever been. It takes time, but it DOES get so much better. Just hang on.
Yeah, but there are a lot of reasons that people can't be charged with a crime for things like this - think about it - if there were laws where someone could be arrested for domestic abuse/violence for emotional/psychological abuse, you know exactly who would take advantage of that? Narcissistic abusers. Many of them convince the victim that they're the one abusing the narcissist and that she/he is the bad one, the crazy one, the mean one, etc. They could easily use it to put their victim in jail. Like, the example in this documentary where he hit the victim and left bruises, and then he harmed himself to blame it on here. My ex did this too. He'd cut or hit himself to say I did it, and one time he got me taken by the police for it and I was put in a mental ward - even though I had done nothing wrong. He told the cops I hit him and him and his (also psychopathic, in my opinion) mother lied and said I'd drank bleach trying to kill myself and tried to jump out the 2nd floor window (even though that window was barely big enough for a small child to get through, let alone a grown adult, it was tiny) - it was all BS. And I had just been raped earlier that day which was how this all started, I told them what happened, my lip was busted and face bruised and they accused me of prostituting and making this up to cover up what I did. It was INSANE. But the cops believed them and took me and I was put in the hospital's psych floor and the doctors that evaluated me, a whole team of them, all said I was totally fine and didn't need to be there, but they kept me anyway and said I couldn't leave until my dad drove all the way from Georgia (this was in New York state), I was there for 14 days. It was the most insane garbage. It's not even legal to do that, you can't keep someone imprisoned in a mental ward against their will unless they're a danger to themselves or others AND you can only keep them 3 days unless/until you get a court order. But it didn't matter, I couldn't do anything about it.
So, in my opinion, it would probably be pretty dangerous to narc. abuse victims to make laws about it, they would exploit it, I can almost guarantee it.
Plus it's INCREDIBLY hard to prove mental/emotional abuse. It's not like physical abuse where there are cuts and bruises and such.
@@zzevonplant I'm sorry this happened to you. I can relate. Docs also said I was fine.
I've been told by an abuser they can't do anything physically, they know their rights so they will hurt in every other way. I'm seeing more people hurt each other emotionally/physiological. Not sure what the solution could be besides to work on yourself. I wonder how many other victims they're doing this to (inflicting pain on yourself, blame it on the girlfriend?). They don't get sent to the hospital, there's no accountability.
Glad you got out alive, your story can help others. Hope you find some peace, you're a survivor.
I hope you’re doing better now. 💕
I think I narrowly escaped a narcissistic relationship. I was only with him for a few months, but thankfully saw the warning signs early on. I still stayed longer than I should have, hoping that I was wrong about him. I'm so grateful for my friends who helped me recognise the dangerous situation I was getting myself into.
What warning signs did you see?
Yes, what warning signs did you see? Please let us know ❤
Just listening to these stories is so triggering. Still healing but I have come so far. All glory to God, #survivor
Depend on no man but God fear no man but God.
Depend on no man but God fear no man but God.
Me too
I watched this several times and each time I want to turn it off but I keep it on.
Yes
After two marriages to narcissists, at the age of 46, I am repulsed by the thought of being in another intimate/physical relationship. It makes my skin crawl. It seems to me that once I broke free, I cannot imagine ever being in this position again. It literally scares me to death, and so, I truly relish my time alone in a way that I never could before.
Prayers
Oh my god me too
Me too. The thought of being in an intimate relationship makes me feel sick. I have no more to give. I'm 47, faced abuse my whole life and so thankful for this movie and the comments. We are not alone.
I agree 👍
Me too!!! I haven't touched a man in three years and have zero desire
Most people have no idea what it’s like being targeted by someone like this. It’s truly a nightmare hence why I cut them off. I wish no ill upon them....but I wish no ill upon myself either. This information is spot on accurate.
Thank you for your comment. I thought I was imagining it all. Tough call when it's family. 🙏 God heal you 🙏
Please see my Comment "Aside from the nightmare ..."
Been there. My daughter's mother and my oldest sister. I cannot put into words as to how much time and effort these put in the psychological warfare that they inflict on there fellow human beings.
Growing up with a narcisstic parent, I would have liked to see different perspectives on the topic (not only partners, but parents, siblings, children and even friends for example). However, I want to thank you for raising awareness about this topic as it is still not talked about enough how narcissists can literally ruin your life. I hope these survivors realize none of this was their fault and they find peace someday.
Yup. I was abused by my mom, Ex sibling, and even my grandma was/is one! Parental narc abuse has to be the most insidious form of narc abuse smh just evil
@@JessAnonymous Same here, my parent and sibling were both high functioning narcissists. Worst part is that as a kid, you don't realize your parents are mentally ill, instead they make you think everything is your fault. Took me way into my adulthood to fully understand how evil my family was and to let go.
Hope you find peace and wish you all the best! We're already doing better than they ever did.
Now that I've learned both my mother and ex-wife operated that way, I would very much love to hear from others in an honest way about how the interactions they had with them went, so I think it would be interesting from that perspective. It makes me wonder even more what *actually* happened in all those stories about things they had happen to them where they were supposed to be the victim, especially the ones where they really didn't sound like a victim at all to begin with -- how bad could those have been?
There is great content on UA-cam, check Live Abuse Free, her channel is great.
Exactly. I was abused by my father, auntie, and my two cousins. Whenever they talk about narcissism, it's always about partners. And not enough about the family members.
This is the best documentary on Narcisim I have seen. Being a Highly Sensitive Empath, I have dealt with Narcisitic Abuse since birth without knowing what it was, until I married a Grandiose Narcisist, and I went through everything expressed in this documentary. I was able to get out after only 1 year and 7 months, and then went to a Covert Narcsisit, and then I learned what it was. I also learned and understood so much of my childhood, and the issues I had blame myself for having so many years. It took me a lot to recover, I had PTSD, Social Anxiety, and Low Self Steem, but I healed myself researching online and now I am here, trying to help others.
I want to thank you for doing these, because as it was said: "Knowledge is the only way to help avoid it" so these kind of documentaries are very helpful! Thank you! And to those brave that have overcome this KEEP IT UP! I don't particualiry like the word "victim" because you are actually "strong survivors" 💕💕
This is the best documentary. Every single section is so true. I dont have to try to explain anymore. I just forward this video. Thank you for this freedom.
I too went through narcissistic abuse at birth growing up and feel lost as well and my goal is to find myself....my true self (authentic self) and heal in the process.
@@Bibi-hh1md I sorry and I understand, you will be better because you understand this madness. They're sickos. And btw, the Creator took him out of here, not me. Lol.
Well said empaths are the prime target of a narc
I had a Malignant Narcissist. The worst. Sadly, I am attached for 11 more years. Arm yourselves. They are really just scared people. God sees it all, and NO ONE can avoid the Karma police. NO. ONE.
After watching this documentary I finally signed up for therapy for the abuse I went through from my narcissistic father.
It was sooo long ago BUT memories should up like it was yesterday & I get so scared. After watching this I'm going to get therapy too.
The monster was my father, plus a few others.
I wish you the best, Jay! 💪🏻
Hope ur doing well. Ur head will go over things to try and make sense of everything. Trust the process. Learn the red flags and educate urself of the different types of abuse. I found it grounding that they had names for how I was treated. Good luck u got this
Is it helping ? I’m living with mine .. I’m in the worst circumstance with him … this is killing my soul, I have to smile and curtsy … I have no way out… I do appreciate this documentary a lot , thank you all for sharing, I feel like such a idiot , for being all I’m going go ‘home ‘ to deal with the c Ptsd- to figure out where my bad picker stems from … so rough what kind of therapy ? Help big love c
❤🕊💫🤙
“On average, a victim attempts to leave 7 times before finally leaving for good.”
That's true - even where there's physical violence. We also know that if a man puts his hands around a woman's neck, there's a heightened risk she will end up being killed by him.
I left on the 3rd threat .... one day it may be too late ... he wouldn’t have cared ... I need my hip replaced at the time I was 6.5 stone ... he must have been 18/19 stone ... he picked me up & slammed me on the ground.... wow it hurt .... on my worst hip side .... you don’t stand a chance against them ... they wouldn’t pick you if you did .... it nearly destroyed me ... & my poor sons had to stand by & watch ... I can only hope I am strong enough to show them better & not let them down again ... I’ve been diagnosed with depression anxiety PTSD ... I am underweight .. I stopped caring about myself my home my business ..... it was awful .... he said I was narcissistic.... I haven’t been diagnosed with that tho ... it’s shameful what one person can do to another ..... I don’t know how he sleeps ..... I don’t
Every time I tried to leave he would convince me to stay. I would be packing my bags after he would try to manipulate me, and say leave if you want to leave. Then I would try and leave and then he would start acting acting all sweet and nice, like he was when we first met. Then of course a couple of days later he went back to the real him. He even told me once, that he behaves perfectly at the beginning and once he knows the girls in love with him then he just goes back to his old self. Cuz he knows he has her, he was sick. I wasted eight years of my life with him and now he's on to his next victim, and I'm free. I'm still dealing with the aftermath, so I'm physically free from him but emotionally I'm still working on it. I have a chronic illness since I was 15 years old, and he told me on many occasions that I wanted to be sick. He said I wanted to have all those surgeries. Then one time when I was in the emergency room he told me that I was a burden to my family and friends, and they were just waiting for me to die. He was truly a sick person.
@@patriciaroy5013 you know about the cycle of violence? It's a documented standard way that the abuser behaves, abusing, then apologising & being all lovey-dovey before gradually - or even quickly - returning to their old behaviour, until once again they blow up like a bomb, & restart the whole cycle. That's one of the reasons why it can be so hard to make the decision to leave.
@@cindygenogram5667 yes that makes sense, because they confuse you because they can flip the switch so fast. They try and convince you that you're the one that's crazy, you're the one that started the fight. I'm just glad that I don't have to deal with that anymore. Because it's a toxic environment, and you just keep going in circles.
"Narcissistic abuse is the sum total of all forms of abuse." WOW!!! SO TRUE!!! It is the total destruction of the victim, inside and out.
Narcissistic abuse survivors are real war heroes. Heroes of an invisible war; the hardest of wars because it's a lonely war.
ATTENTION:📣 PLEASE GIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST WHO LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH 💟💗 DO NOT GO TO HELL 🔥🌋🔥
@@freddiestranger9783 Nothing to do with religion.
What makes it even worse is everyone thinks so highly of this person! Me ex was a pillar in the community, an excellent father, and I was supposed to be grateful!!! That really messed with my head. All alone in a foreign country, 3 kids and he did whatever the f$&@ he wanted with me. ie) He woke me up at midnight, I was 6 months pregnant, he demanded I fix his hair... he was going to the casino. My narc was also a gambler, and very abusive both physically and mentally! I had a gold medal winner in the narcissist Olympics!!!
@@freddiestranger9783 bullshit! I was a kind, loving catholic girl, innocent and kind who attended church, and all the trimmings! My ex used my beliefs against me...he said I was satanic and he was a superior Greek Orthodox! Please, if you tell a victim that crap, they’ll want to slit their wrists!
100000% I LOVE THIS. WE NEED LAWS THEY CANT LIE TO.
It's difficult to trust other people after this experience...that part
Yes,it is.
@@orsolyavarga7212 totally... it's been over 5 years, I am pretty sure I have experienced the said "moral injury"
@@foreverspringtime good to name it,than it can over,did nat underestand,belive,speak up.Very much gratefool,thanks your answer!the isolation part is so hard!
You are so very right!
I have major trust issues still,more than 5 years after the «relationship» ended. I can`t trust men at all,I think he broke something essential in me that can not be fixed....
I went from too trusting to being suspicious of people. I'm working on discernment. I think as a codependent I have attracted these people in to my life at least the ones I didn't live with growing up. I've had more than my share of these people and only became aware at the age of 51.
"I confused his control for love" I think that is the foundation on how we get stuck with narcissists or psychopaths.
Tippy F,You are absolutely gorgeous 🌷🌹🌺, hope you are not with a narc 😈!
It's an insidious systematic pattern. Not in your face On Contact. First, they study what you need/want, so they can present themselves as the solution. After that they work on ensuring you have no one else to turn to. Then they test your attachment +security before their full blown Control, wrapped in abandonment threats and dire predictions, settles in.
We think it's cute...he's so intuned with me. No he's learning you so he can use it all against you. And it will all turn into control next thing you know you wish he never looked your way.
My heart goes out to everyone abused by narcissists, I really hope you are able to believe there are beautiful people out there for you, trust is so hard to give after surviving a narcissists abuse, to all in this documentary "you are all beautiful & very special people" my love to you all
My question is, why isn't Narcisstic abuse criminal?? It needs to be. This abuse is cruel!
I agree. Not only should it be criminalized, it is also described in countless documents such as historical, mythological, legendary, medical and even religious, including the Christian Bible.
The problem is that narcissistic traits are non gendered, both men and women can have them, though men and women express them differently. More men with narcissistic and antisocial traits, more women with borderline and histrionic traits. All with overlap and exceptions.
If one is criminalized, all will be criminalized. We live in a society that loves women but not men. If men behave badly, we accuse the men of being bad people. If women behave badly, it must be because someone else hurt them and not because they (women) are at fault.
Feminism forced passive-aggressive personality disorder out of the DSM (though it's now listed as something that needs more research) and they're trying to get borderline personality disorder out of the DSM, or at least called something else --and they demand it is not a disability and are trying to use media to normalize it. At the same time, they are pressuring psychology to accept narcissistic personality disorder as male-specific and criminalized, as well as pressuring acceptance for unsound psychological terms like "toxic masculinity" to be formalized as common to the average man and criminalized. Another term "manspreading" has already been written onto New York ordinances applying only to men who spread their legs widely on public transportation, and some Mexican men were ticketed for doing it at midnight on the NYC subway despite only 3 people in the cabin. No mention of women who place their shopping bags on the seat, preventing others from sitting down.
So my guess is that narcissistic behaviors are not criminalized because they would have to apply equally to women, and feminists and the men who enable them won't have that.
But make no mistake, narcissistic personality disorder is not technically a mental illness because a narcissist consciously and willingly behaves differently, for example, depending on whether the narcissist knows s/he is being recorded (makes informed choices on how to behave). A person with mental or physical illness will express pain, impatience, negativity, etc. regardless of knowing whether they are being recorded.
It has been criminalized in some countries. It is in the UK. But not yet in the US. I count on people in the medical fields fight for the victims since they know how serious these abuses are. My life has been ruined. I don't deserve that!
@@kindheart2127 Wow I didn't know the UK has criminalized it. Narcissists are often experts at covering their tracks and making it seem like they are not the ones at fault.
I strongly relate when you say your life has been ruined. Mine also has been ruined, starting in childhood (I'll be 50 later this year). I take great validation and healing from the fact videos on narcissism like this one are becoming popular on an international scale. People are waking up and not staying silent when they can talk to most anyone anywhere in the world. I think there is hope that I will see continued changes for the better in my lifetime. And as odd as it may sound, for me personally the most healing things that also restored a sense of control over my own life are as follows.
I take full accountability for everything I say and do, always learning something new when I am wrong or mistaken.
I don't blame the world for what my parents did, nor all women for what my mother did, nor all men for what my father did. I believe in myself and give the whole world a chance, treating everyone as an individual.
I allow myself to be liked and loved by anyone, knowing they are doing the best they can as they are able. I only choose people who understand I am doing the same for them, as I can't be everything to everyone and sometimes my best isn't as good as other days.
Everything people say and do is some statement on their behalf, not mine. Each person could react differently than the next based on the same thing.
I fit in with the world precisely because I'm not perfect. We are all in the same boat together, and it's okay not to sit by people who aren't good for me.
And, the more I heal from toxic abuse, the more intolerable it is for me to be around toxic people. Still, everyone deserves multiple chances to be known and understood and loved.
@@kindheart2127 your pretty smile ☺️ can make the news!😊😊😍😍🤙
@@oscarwilliamson1264 ? Are you targeting women? I've seen your comments and your page....🤔
How many people watching this right now are shouting “omg that’s why he/she was like that?! So I wasn’t crazy?!”
For me I remember noticing that being able to enjoy small aspects of life like choosing what I want to buy and eat at a grocery store without being judged showed me just how all encompassing this type of abuse can be.
If you yourself are questioning if you are in this situation then take notice if you find yourself enjoying small things when away from your abuser that he or she makes a big deal of ruining for you.
I was raised by a narcissistic mother then married a narcissistic man. 26 years of my life was dominated by this insanity. I'm 32 now and I have been in therapy for years and thank God for my therapist. From day one he could see through my narc mother and has helped me find peace and happiness. I am not completely healed at this point but I am a hell of a lot stronger and I can identify narcissism a mile away now. Once I see it, I cut them off and move on. I have two daughters that I need to know they are incredible and I teach them at their young age how to pay attention to what people do early so that maybe they won't suffer the way I have.
And *that* my friend is absolutely the goal we set in place for our children: *The abuse stops with us.*
How fortunate your children are to have a parent who unconditionally loves them and fully demonstrates the most fundamental task of Parenting, the protection of our children-something that was never done for us.
Good for you! Best wishes!
Inspiring
Same! 🙋🏻♀️
Love to you. I hope you are thriving
Keep up the good fight.
Much love to you and your girls.
"She had a monopoly on the truth...no matter what you were talking about, her opinion was the truth." YES. God, I can relate so much to this video. The being held hostage, the being kept up all night and berated, it not stopping until you admit you are "wrong" and they are "right". The hiding of your keys!!! hiding my phone, my medication...the constant gaslighting...the thinking you're going crazy. The second-guessing yourself when you know in your heart that you're right. They break you down, isolate you, break your spirit. I am so grateful that I'm mentally resilient and strong because if I wasn't, I would be a shell of a person right now.
Does anyone notice how beautiful these people who are talking are??? The narcissists like to pick beautiful people to try to destroy to become less to negate you and your life and good choices to berate you and cut you down to become a not so beautiful person, inside and out and this makes their egos grow for them to make them feel more important and better than you
I was going to comment on exactly that...beautiful, articulate, bright, lovely...the Narc loves breaking beautiful Souls man.
Yes!! I'm sitting here staring at them thinking just that. Three people I'd love to know.♥️♥️♥️
I often thought this. I felt his sole aim deep down was to destroy me completely. It wasn't about control, it was about destruction of another person.
@@flowerpower8591
I think I know what you mean. For me, it felt like they wanted to do enough damage to certainly disable my mental health and self esteem and also make me "nothing." To rub out my individual worth.
Yes! I thought the same thing. We def are a good looking bunch😉 We have both the inner and outer beauty which is what they have so much contempt for.
This is exactly what it was like for me. I was married to a covert narcissist for 20 years and always knew something was “off” about our relationship. He was incredibly controlling. I could not express a differing thought, opinion or emotion because he would rage. I walked on egg shells in fear of his constant mood changes. After the first 7 years I started to suffer from crippling anxiety and agoraphobia. After years of abuse I eventually lost my entire sense of self. The gaslighting increased to a point where I really questioned my sanity and had to start documenting everything with pictures and dates, just to make sense of my life. When I started to piece everything together (that he is in fact a narcissist) I realized that I was left an empty shell, unable to access my emotions or thoughts. All I thought about was him and his feelings. It took me 6 months to come back to myself and acknowledge what I’ve been through. I am so thankful that I discovered the term narcissist because the information I’ve gathered has helped free me from the cycle of abuse. I left him 2 weeks ago and I have never been happier. I have a lot of inner work ahead of me, but I’ve got this, because I am worth it!
Holy cow. I have thought much of what you wrote here, in almost same terms as what you wrote. Oh my goodness. Once I realized something is wrong with me for putting up with it, I have been able to create myself. I was so totally destroyed. Every aspect of my being.
You’ll be fine! Hang in there. I was with 2 of these, an ex husband & my horrible ex BF. I have been away from this for almost 2 years & I found myself again. I am at peace.
I had 2 roomates like that...one worked for the government and likes to cause problems... once in a while
The other tryed to put me in jail...iv allso had x boyfrinds like that...
Iam so sorry you went thow that hope you the best .
Congratulations! FORGIVE BUT DON'T LOOK BACK!
Hey Renee B! How are you holding up? I hope you are sticking to your guns and being mega courageous. God bless you.
I wish I could have learned this when I was young like high school. This needs to taught to the young 😊
Yes, but you can’t really understand it until you experience it for an extended period of time. I only started recognizing it when i got badly hurt and abused and then gaslighted about it and it felt so insane and toxic, i remember myself thinking there was something really wrong with that kind of acting and recalled that many years ago I learned about different personality disorders, as a nurse, and went back to the study material to figure out what it was. That’s how I started recognizing it and it didn’t happen right away, it took reading a lot and listening to many youtube videos about NPD. And analyzing it and applying to your experience and contemplating until you finally understand that the reason you couldn’t recognize it at the beginning was that you were used to that kind of abuse from (at least one of ) your parents as a child and it felt ‘normal’ to you until it got really BAD. These UA-cam videos are lifesavers! 🙏❤️
I agree, I feel like I've wasted the best of my years. It makes me resentful
Exactly💙
exactly
Absolutely...breaking free from the abuse made me the happiest i have ever been it was a life changing awakening experience
my father is a narcissist. his anger, ridiculous pride, mocking EVERY single person he meets behind their back, making you walk on eggshell... so accurate.
It drained my energy and i am recovering from burnout. i thought i should forgive him and contact him, but this video seems like a sign telling me i can forgive and not contact.
To describe narcissists and psychopaths as damaged little children seems intended to generate the sympathy they do not deserve.9
Definitely don't contact him. Don't let the narcissist back in because guess what? Nothing has changed.
Without trying to advertise myself, I have made a video about forgiving the narcissist that you may find of interest. In short, NEVER forgive the narcissist.
@AnneBurns-pv6xc I dont think its excusing the way they act, just a sort of explanation. The way I see it, I am sorry they were abused but it doesn't give them the right to hurt others nd refuse to heal. They are brain damaged, but ots not ok to victimize others just because you were once a victim. Just in my own case I was raised in an emotionally abusive home, but I will not stay unhealed and pass that on to my children.
Do not!
Never think they can change. Even if they can, it’ll cost YOU! Never believe their apologies, they only apologize to manipulate.
exaclty
They will never change and their karma is still due and waiting
Quite possibly the worst kind of person
How do you handle being in a co parenting relationship with someone like this? It's not like I have the option to cut him out of my life.
@@janereinke7825 There are two exceptional channels on narcissism here on youtube. The first is Dr Ramini and the second is Surviving Narcissism. They have tons of videos on the disorder and list many great solutions. Hope this helps!
“They rely on you not relying on yourself” well said 👌
too true
She taunted me and told me "you can't stand up for yourself that's why I and everyone can walk over you"
I have never been the same since then, glad I cut her off
@Glockiana 17 Thank You 🙏🏻😊
They are compulsive liars. They Gaslight you, they are manipulative and devious. It’s all about control. They blame you for things they regret doing, and blame you for causing them to make mistakes, etc etc. It would drive you nuts!
Yes. It is a horrible way to live. Punished for their behavior. If you don't like that wait until you see what I do next. They can and will do anything they want and you must accept it. We have no rights no life unless they allow and it is only so they can take it away
@@beccapears7573 We have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. ""Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" is a well-known phrase . The phrase gives three examples of the unalienable rights which the Declaration says have been given to all humans by their creator, and which governments are created to protect."
100% agree
Yeah, It will drive you nuts if you allow it. You have to stand up to people. But some people you don't say anything to them. You have to move quickly to get away from them; because you might get murdered like so many other people, or you might murder someone protecting yourself. Why let it go there when it can be avoided. What I'm saying is you have to be able to see when it's someone you can end things with and when you can't.
I am not the kind of person that can't get out or feel trapped in a relationship. I have left situations with nothing but the clothes on my back. As I was moving away from the situation I was in I felt weights falling off me from a person and people that has gone through emotional trauma that had nothing to do with me.
You have to move away from these people now. You can't change them. They are not going change.
I'm free thank God.
You nailed it! K.H.
to all of you who watched this Masterpiece let it be known you are among the best human beings this world has to offer ❤ 💕
People who have never experienced this living hell, have no idea of how destructive and painful this can be. They are pure and unadulterated EVIL.
especially when it’s ur parent who is a narcissist and you grew up with it with no escape till ur 18
@@alexl4790 careful not to repeat ...
I think you mean "UNadulterated evil." And yes I do know how it feels to survive it.
Agree 100%... What's worse for me is friends and acquaintances telling me that I need to take responsibility for letting him into my life and for the way he treated me. So I need to be responsible for him and myself, 2 people... .. He was responsible for no one and nothing and none of his actions. Great 👍
@@rebeccarpwebb4132 i could never. i dont have kids right now, im 20 so it might sound like a stretch for me to be saying this, but i would never let my kids experience what i went thru with my dad. it seriously f's you up and i want my kids to feel safe and unconditionally loved by me.
This documentary is really great. I´m a psychiatrist, and I´m gonna recommend it to colleagues, coworkers and patients. Aletta, Jill and Roel: brilliant and thank you very very much!
Please do share this wide and far to psychiatric/mental health professionals!
My mother is a viscious Malignant Narcissist in a religious right wing cult, my father, a massive enabler/vulnerable narc. They raised my GC older sister to be an absolute psychopath with me as everyone's scapegoated trash can of abuses.
Long story short, I am an Autistic INFJ/empath. The brain washing and pernicious abuse were so severe, two of my children manifested rare stress triggered illnesses that almost killed them (unheard of epilepsy and obscure cancer).
They gas light me all the way through them sabotaging my business and social world, while going to literal ends of the earth seeking medical help for my children...after over a decade of this, we left the state, and ended up with amazing medical professionals that Saved my kids. But by then my heart was failing and I was wrecked with CPTSD and all sorts of dangerously Traumatic events to recover from.
Eventually burning my entire previous existence to the ground on my own was the only option. I lost a very large family and social world, businesses homes, almost 3 of our lives....
When I finally started to seek help for my self, I was further gaslight and DX'd as "bipolar, manic" told I was my own problem, improperly medicated and told to write letters to make up with my family!
My recovery is mostly self made and supported through powerful videos like this! But, I am still seeking help for my dangerously intense PTSD. PTSD
I agree, this should be shared, it is spot on! ❤
I agree it's very insightful.
A lot of professional don’t even know what narcissistic personality disorder is and they need to know
monili2971, I have been researching narcissism for 14 years now. If you really want working no nonsence insight, the best teacher is The Little Shaman.
ua-cam.com/video/drybfMZNlq8/v-deo.html
I’m getting chest pains listening to this. Glad to know I’m not alone. Had 4 children with one.
Pure hell!
me too! :'-(
Me too, and short of breath.
I'm so sorry. Bringing children in definitely makes it harder. I only brought one in, I was 22, but I saw immediately how it was going to be. He never wanted anything to do with her. In fact, he said he wished we'd never had her, cuz now he had to "share" me, as if he OWNED me, which he truly believed he did. My daughter is now 23 and still seeking his love and approval, which she can't see he is incapable of giving. It is destroying her. She is drinking herself to death, due to him buying her alcohol since age 16. She's already developed liver issues and jaundice, and she can't remain sober. It is heartbreaking. I don't think she's going to make it much longer.
Lori, had a lot of that , my domestic abuse support told me we are going to see your GP.
My GP, put it down to panic attacks, later I was diagnosed with PTSD.
I’m free no from her physically.
These are all such intelligent, beautiful, kind people. I hope they continue to heal from the abuse inflicted on them. I’m grateful to them for sharing, as I’ve just realised in the last month that I’ve been a victim my whole life of a narcissistic mother. I have a lot of recovery work to do.
Look after your self
I’m only 17 minutes into this documentary and these stories are so familiar it is astonishing.
It's crazy how predictable they are
They all use the same f$#€*@! playbook!
@@lindastruckus776 the Truth. Once you fall for one you can escape all others games
+1
29:58 "Even physical wounds are never as bad as driving someone insane" Whoa, that's incredibly true, because bruises will heal overtime but the mind can take ages to heal...
Absolutely!
But God!!
Many studies have shown that it permanently changes the wiring of the brain. I.E. Brain damage. No different than physical damage. We just haven't been smart enough scientifically to see it, until now.
So, mental abuse damages(bruises) the brain just like physical abuse bruises the body. We just can't "see" it because it's on the inside.
Mental abuse is so painful, that you wanted to die..... unbearable
Physical wounds are evidence of abuse. How do you prove emotional and psychological abuse , trauma and manipulation??
There's an old saying that I've come to appreciate. It goes like this:
" I'd rather be held up at gunpoint because at least then, I would know what was happening to me "
Damn...that's a good one.
It's so subtle and slow you don't know where you are.
With a Narcissist you never see it coming ! They pull the rug from under you !!!!!! Or in my case. They TORPEDO. You !!!!!!!!
Ya that happened to me. And it makes you very angry.
just sent that 2 her
It is uncanny how narcissists seem to be following the same "playbook." Peace and healing to all victims.
It's strange
They are all running the same program
Same demon ❤