Stop Pacifying Malignant Narcissists | Michele Lee Nieves
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- #lifecoach #micheleleenieves #codependencyrecovery #narcissisticabuserecovery
www.micheleleenieves.com
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Are you on your own healing journey and would like one on one assistance regarding topics like:
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For those that are going to court against a narcissist, the PDF entitled When The Devils The Defendent has been a helpful tool for thousands- payhip.com/b/Kl21
For those that are going to court against a narcissist, the PDF entitled When The Devils The Defendent has been a helpful tool for thousands- payhip.com/b/Kl21
Hi guys!! Just wanted to share info. about my upcoming life coaching certification course. Some people plan to become life coaches - others 'fall into it'. I think when a person has gone through something so life altering, something that pushed them outside the realms of their authentic self, something that so profoundly changed not only their self perception, but altered their nervous system, dis-regulated their brain and warped their reality..... and yet when they manage to reconnect with self, and heal the deep emotional wounds that are hidden to the naked eye and misunderstood by those that have never been through an experience like that - well, it's only natural to feel a deep desire to want to help others that have been through that. That's how I 'fell into coaching' and it's been an amazing experience to help individuals all over the world to break through the side effects of cptsd and/or side effects of narcissistic abuse. If YOU are interested in becoming a life coach - be sure to check out my website: micheleleenieves.com/narcissistic-abuse-recovery-coaching-certification/
you prolly dont give a shit but if you are bored like me atm then you can stream all the latest series on InstaFlixxer. Have been streaming with my brother for the last months xD
@Reginald Adonis yea, I have been using instaflixxer for years myself :)
When you´re pacifying the narc, you are actually enabling them.
That's why it's good to avoid them but if you can't it helps to have boundaries
thats what I thought but it's hard when it's done covertly
I will not tolerate behavior from adults that act like children. They are annoying and emotionally draining.
I'm 55 years old, I don't play games anymore. If someone disrespects me they are history, I don't care who they think they are. Game over.
Truth Troll
💯
So true! At 52, I no longer interact with my mother and only wish I'd cut the cord much, much earlier in my life. I don't even miss her because I just know in my heart that she has only hatred and misery to offer. Whenever I think about her, which I rarely do, a deep feeling of relief rushes through me. Life is so much better without her! I don't wish her any harm or anything bad, but it's amazingly good to have no contact with her. And because she always kept me apart from her sisters, I really don't even have people talking about her with me. Life is good! 🤞🤓💖
Good for you!!
You are Goals:)🙌 very glad you made it out and strong now
I do the same!
As I have learned the hard way, talking too a narcissist is like be investigated for a crime that you haven’t committed yet on till they decide which crime, you have committed in there eyes, monsters.
You cannot just tell them what and why you're hurt, sad, feel like your feelings aren't regarded. Not only do they punish you for that in many different ways, they mark that up in their mental checklist and say, Ah ok, this hurts her.... Then they will pull the stunt that hurts you!! Anytime they can & twist that knife so hard in your back, heart & soul...and have that duper's delight grin shining on their face while they do it.
Hello Erica. Completly right. That's exactly what they do. And this is not the treatment we deserve. I used to tell my ex about things I didn't like that I heard about me , and he remembered some of them..like I was not beautiful enough, like I needed to loose weight.. and then 2 month later he began to repeat these things every day...and if something makes us feel sad or emotional they will try to use our emotions against us. Because they want the control but they are jealous as well because they haven't got real emotions and they lack sensitivity. I don't know you, but I hope that you are doing well because I don't know why, but I feel that you are a wonderful person 😊 the less you tell them what your feelings are the more you can protect yourself from their evil plans. Take care 🍀
@@leaedenk5975 yes, I learned that trick years ago. I realized I kept giving him the roadmap to destroy my sanity & break my heart. I hated him & loved him at the same time. With him since we were 14, divorcing now at 40. I never thought I could get out. Left him several times & I literally felt like I was dying (perfect trauma bond) & he knew everything I needed him to do before I'd come back, and told me everything I wanted to hear. Then he would be the perfect spouse & dad, slow his drinking down, show me so much love for several months to a year, maybe 2. Then I would see that hurtful, despising cruel man worse than the time before. On that hamster wheel for 25 years.
Factzzzzz!!! My mom had a smirk when she saw me sweat. I was grey rocking but she found somethjng that made me feel bad. And she had this weird smirk.... omg... so weird...
Yup!!! Dead on! Check them hard and move the hell on. No explanations, no nothing!
That is so true. It’s gut wrenching to have that which you confided them used against you for maximum effect. They engage in cruel psychological warfare. Sadists basically.
I gave up my friends, my hobbies, my relationships all to pacify my narc mother while growing up. Only recently have i started to rebuild my personality. 15 years of undoing. Wish me luck :)
Good luck on your healing journey. It’s so peaceful when we get there.
@@hugmc Thank you 😊
Best of luck and enjoy your life
You’ve got this Priyanka!!! I’m cheering you on ❤️
So proud of you! I'm unraveling 35 years.... This is tough but we are WORTH it! ❤️🙏🏻
I’m starting to love how predictable narcissists are. Now that I’m getting on to them. 😎🙏🏼♥️🔥🙌🏼
The phrase "know your enemy" is so true. I learnt about NPD and can now pretty much predict my ex wife's next move. Knowledge is power.
“We tend to think that somebody external needs to fill these holes within us, but the truth is, is that when you start generating these things from within, you start healing your past wounds, you start healing your present wounds, and you start EMPOWERING yourself.” Yes and Amen.
Narcissists often “manipulate” their victims/supplies to always seek their validation by conditioning us (victims) to think they are better/smarter than us and care about us more than anyone in this world. I was talking/arguing with my NP in the other day, I kept hard with my inner dialog by saying “I don’t need their validation, I can self-validate.” I even used the broken record saying “that is your opinion.” They threw a rage at me saying “We are talking FACTs here!! We have more experience and we love you like more than anyone in world, how come you don’t listen to us?!”
This is my mom's classic n also my ex bestie used to try it.
Aishwarya Rao Narcissists are so similar!! That is why we often feel “did we have same parents?” “Were we married to a same person?”
@@xiaoxi-chelsea-akiko434 omg gurlll seriouslyy I recently had a crush on a guy n I am not a very possive or needy type .. n in the start everything was chill he was kinda obsessed with me after that I started feeling suffocated then I realized it is similar he was love bombing me then after that I was just keeping a watch on him I told him things I don't like that was fake then after few months he started devaluing me with the fake things i told him lol.I was like let's see.. then he classily started ghosting me suddenly like he told me he will message me tomorrow n vanished like we were friends for 1 n half year. gosh i was like thank God I know this already his love bombing was good but no thanks n u are sooo right they are literally same kind of people. N he checks my snap story everyday so there is no reason like he doesn't remember me. I don't anymore so yeah God n these videos saved me 💕.
I used to say to my ex Narc, well let’s agree to disagree. He would stop talking and scowl. 😂 after I stopped refusing to engage in his attacks of me, the marriage was on its way to being over. I wasn’t giving him supply in that way. Slowly over a 4 year period I began to love myself, put up boundaries and showed him I loved and liked me even if he didn’t. It dries up the supply you give them and they eventually discard.
TRUST is like a crystal glass that once it's broken its hard to put the pieces back together and when you try to fix them, you might get puncture and get hurt. The crystal glass would never be the same no matter what. That is why it's important to apply wisdom when dealing with our partners and i believe smartness is essential in any relationship. I got help from (cybertech-tracker) as he helped cloned my cheating husband’s phone and I got access to all his phone Text messages, Facebook, Instagram, Whats-app, Skype, Kik, Twitter, Snap-chat, Email and social media chats without touching her phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist but I'm glad to uncover his deceits, secrets and Infidelity. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with (cybertech-tracker) and i was able to read his recent and deleted messages from my phone without laying my hands on his phone and he has no idea his phone has been cloned. I was hurt when i saw a picture of my husband and his lover, i felt so bad about infidelity. I’m here in Australia and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in the UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned . He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable. Contact this Cybertech-tracker via Gmail (cybertechtracker) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and Whats_app : +1 (202) 697-7171. I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after discovering the truth.
Yes, i said that to someone "agree to disagree".. the person got mad.
Some people can be mad .
They are conditioned by negativity.
Wendi Watson yup! Been where you were. Told my narcissistic father that we should agree to disagree. He argues with me for 30 minutes straight and called out my name a few times. These malignant people cannot handle being wrong in the slightest.
Empowered lady... Well done... Intelligently explained! 🙋♀️🏃♀️🌅
You become num and deny your feelings in order to servive. You know I really appreciate you.Somehow you bring hope to me.Thankyou so much.
Next time... Call the police or even tell them your new boyfriend is a policeman, maybe casually... Watch them change in a second, or better yet run away from the spot...
I think step 3 is what's holding me back.. If your job is to lead others ,by definition you never consider yourself as an individual.. So when Michele said what do you want .. I have no Idea. Michele took me from a very very dark place. She pushed my head back above water .. I'm at a place now where I am starting to feel some peace..But like a demon from .. the Narc just showed up at my door out of the blue .. I was stymied..confused ..actually afraid of a 5 foot nothing 90 pound nutjob .. Then something strange happen.. Michele popped into my mind right in the middle of her BS.. I started laughing .. you should have seen the look on her face...LOL Thanks Michele
Your going to make it.
When I was in 13 or so, one of my abusive brothers called me to go to eat... I was at the phone, didn t do as he said... And threw a plate of hot spagetti to my back, and the plate broke... Luckily it didn t cause me any phisycal harm, yet I had been really scared of the reactions of toxic people... At the end, the best is to totally disconnect from them... In the tracks, as oppose to let them escalate with their manipulative ways... There are better people than this... My mom, if we were playing cards and she was losing... She would mix the cards and game over... These people are dangerous and insane and unpredictable... It s absolutely unsafe to be around them, as they are compulsive... Better cut it loose and cero contact... 😬🏃♀️🙌
Ex said the same thing about my passion for organizing: “waste of time” (etc.)
Can't speak freely with honesty They look for ways to turn it into pain Words are weapons
Zero contact... And you can speak freely about everything again... Stop justifying their strenght which pretty much comes from not stopping them and moving on... That s the only rule... Zero contact... So fly.. ✈️🏃♀️
Exactly! I feel like I'm not myself around them
Also, we are not responsible for narcissistic’s happiness. We don’t owe anyone emotionally in this world. Each of us are responsible for our happiness. Narcissists often choose to not to be happy and never seek to be truly happy on their own, only using seek for supplies for their pleasure.
Indeed, non-toxic people know that the "Kingdom of Heaven is within," and narcissistic people *DESPISE* this when they see it in us!
Yes they choose to be in hell! They want to pull us down with them!
This is my Mom. -_-
bcbro they even accuse us that we put them in hell, so we are responsible to get them out
@@xiaoxi-chelsea-akiko434 they are prisoners and they hate us for being free to choose our happiness
Yes! So much yes! I have said they act like they are three years old!!
Pacifying can also happen between a narcissist parent and a child, pretty sad
My ex and her father are the worst kind of humans i have come across doesnt love her yet she thinks the sun shines out his ass.she will never be happy.
Story of my life
They seem to be all the same idea, same stuff. Truly despicable creatures.
I know... It blows my mind. A literal check list of craziness. It has to be a common demon. The same spirit.
This is a tough one with family. But I'm learning, THANKS to Michele! ❤️💕
I'm letting my family know about my feelings but no matter their response, I am enjoying my life out of abuse, I'm enjoying my new marriage to a healthy man, and I'm holding on to MY reality and happiness ☺️
Wow this is so true.... My narc does this everytime I try and read a book he keeps talking to me so I can't concentrate on the book, I love reading tarot he would make fun of my interest and I stopped doing anything I loved... What a fool.
My college ex-girlfriend was a textbook example of this behavior. I worked overnights as a security guard and one night I found out that I was due into work, have mistakenly believed I had the night off. She exploded into a childish temper tantrum and threatened that she would "kill herself" if it ever happens again.
YESS !!!
Great Advice 👌❤️
Find You by focusing on You
Reconnect with yourself
Fill your own cup
Put yourself First
Self Validate
Unplug from their thoughts
Unplug from their feelings
Unplug from their needs
Unplug from their wants
Stop enabling and fawning them to SOOTHE the dragon 🐉
It’s catering to the self centered overly entitled Spoiled Brat !!!
You become the doormat, the whipping post, peacekeeper.
It’s NOT our responsibility to FIX another person. That’s Co Dependant behaviour, it’s toxic and disempowering to ourselves. It’s self sacrificing our needs for another. It’s devaluing ourselves, it’s minimizing our feelings/needs.
We lose our voice and ability to self validate. We LOSE ourselves, we Self Sacrifice.
We disconnect from ourselves
It’s about power and CTRL.
It’s like you are paying their power bill without using it.
You’re willingly paying their emotional utility bill, without benefit to yourself. You are being used and abused.
Scary, just how on point she is!
Michele you are so lovely, beautiful and caring.I always love your UA-cam videos about Narcissist.God bless you my friend
Literally my life. 26 years so far. 3 grown kids who are seeing all of it as young adults and its so painful for them because they blame themselves just like I've done for years. I learned to hide it so well but now they are experiencing it for themselves. I wish they never had to understand what is happening but I am so thankful for all of this information because its helping me educate myself and help our children learn that we truly can't do anything about the way he acts. I was in counseling and was told I suffer from CPTSD and codependancy. I no longer have those resources for counseling so these videos are crucial to our sanity. We don't feel so crazy anymore! Also I think that there's also a covert side to him too. No one knows what he's really like. He's very private and gets so upset if I say anything to anyone. He is paranoid and very controlling about isolating me. I've been responding without reacting. I've learned that I can't "make sense" to him or reason with him so I gave up trying.
I've been praying and using meditation with music because that's my happy place. Well on my way to healing and so are our children. 🙏 thank you again!!
Wow!!! Great video! The toxicity leaks over into other parts of life. It’s psychological abuse. They have the need to regulate their emotions in the most unhealthy way possible. I was criticized for losing weight, then my ex lost weight. He wanted to get as much control as possible. I forgot and lost all my passions. These are my takeaways! Thank you for making this video!
Just existing is a trigger for them. People say its when you criticize them but in my own experience you've got it on the head: Simply Existing, wanting to make Any decision, even if its in line with them is threat enough. It’s crazy. Lol
I like this video more than others. It explains a lot about how easily you can oversee you are pacifying someone by just unconsciously protecting yourself. It's so subtle you don't have to notice that about yourself for years and wander why you did some things never finding answer.
Thank you for educating me to overcome and outsmart them.
They're always quick to judge us espiscally if they critize for things they also do . They don't see that everyone is different from them explains why they (the narcissist ) have so many flying monkeys doing their bidding for them .
Don t be so nice around them... Go with an assface🍑... And don t even say hello or please or anything... They re not your friends... Keep the good manners for people who deserve it... That simple!
Thank you so much for these advices.. these are literally piece of gold for me.. Please make a video on how can we protect and heal children in our homes who are suffering from narc abuse and are not our own children, like nieces or nephews etc..
I just clicked on this video because I love the title and the picture lol. Cry baby control freaks. NO is a bad word to them lol.
My ex was training me to ignore “our” problems. If I spoke about the issues we had, I was called “dramatic”, or that I “live in a bubble”, and why do I have to always talked about “my emotions”. It got to the point where it wore down on me so badly, she could tell by my facial expressions, and then she would punish me some more.
Wow... Not fair... 😢
@silver fox luckily now we know zero contact is the cure!... And it is... Is like a parallel reality covered by a protective glass from which you can see the rain of lies, torture and unjustice, yet the drops don t damp us... Allelujaahhh🚮🏃♀️😅
Wow... That s a great answer... Exactly... We are saved... And believe me... Those wackos are not happy, as we are denying them plenty of good supply... 😘😁🎉🎊👍😀
Please make a video about narcissistic mother and narcissistic adult daughter who live in the same house!!l wish you the best!!💕💕💕💕💕
Ditto!!! Please Michele, I implore you to make a video about mother and daughter living in the same house. Thank you. Be well and be safe❣️
yes please! great suggestion ..
That would be something worth viewing - I know a narcissist whose adult daughter is a narcissist as well - I try to avoid both of them
Yes please do
Any age mother daughter ( I have a pre-teen). My ex is raising my daughter through example.
Great topic. Very characteristic of what a narcissist is!
I was the assistant to a malignant cover narcissist. Assisting is already a vulnerable profession: you observe and learn your person, their likes and dislikes, their schedule, their personality. Without respect on both sides, its easy to fall into a type of codependency. But my boss did all of the things you spoke of. Eventually, he had trained me not to speak, have opinions, or even have a life outside of work. Mentioning my likes, or hobbies, was met with stony disapproval. Never expressed in words -- he didn't need to -- silence, a look.
I described the experience as splitting into two people. One, the person below, me -- the real me. Chaffing against the injustice of being silenced and walked on. Two, the person he demanded I become -- the invader. Slowly killing the real me. It genuinely felt like I had two very different selves, and they were at war.
By the time I left, I could barely speak. Now, after two years of work, I can't imagine ever letting anyone control me with shame like that again.
I am so grateful for channels like this, Michele, that not only validate my experience but have given me invaluable tips and tricks on how to move forward as a strong, self-aware person. Thank you.
Ugh!!!! I was always explaining, building my case, showing proof in order to get him to understand and agree with my POV! It never occurred to me that I didn't NEED him to agree with or see my perspective IN ORDER for me to have a different perspective/feeling/want/need/etc.
There was so much I didn't know back then. NOW, I'm equipped!!
Wow you’ve basically described my entire family tree of behaviours for countless generations 🥺
These so called humans are off the chain.Just be youself say what you want stand up for yourself!! Jail thier asswipes.
My whole family pacifies my malignant narcissistic mother. Sad.
They are so tricky so conniving I've learned whatever the term of their deal is, their evil and just get the hell away from them.
They don't change, trust they don't. The only change they do is their tactics.
This is probably fairly obvious, but these people *do not* have desirable personality traits!
And yet so often oversee it and welcome them and give them supply...
Thank you!!!- applying some of that already and adding more to the repertoire.
Thank you Michelle, your videos keep me sane, help to calm down and see clearly. Also good to see that I m not alone, so many of us are in the same boat.
I love the last one. Compliment yourself. Being in a relationship over 12 years I would clean the house almost completely spotless and she would come home and never notice a thing. Certainly never compliment me about anyting. I love it when she flat-out lies to my face, if I say something about what I did she'll say oh I said it look nice when she never said a word. But whenever she helps around the house which is seldomly ever, I lavish on the praise. Because when someone comes home and the house was a wreck before they left but it's totally clean when you come home how can you not notice that? She loves to pull the oh I said that, when she never said a word. Oro I said Thank you or oh I did say I was sorry when she never ever did and then she'll say will you play it in a rock band you can't hear. I can hear when people give me compliments
Respond not react is soooo hard. Oof 😣
Exactly.. This is my biggest problem..
Exactly, start with your own behavior first 😚
This happens when you still have more negative people in your surroundings to remove... Flying monkeys are worse than the narcissists, because you trust them, yet they are stabbing a knife in your back... And you suspect it... As soon as you remove them... Then you start feeling the power of 0 contact... They are undercover doble agent frenemies... Remove now set in your remote control... 🏃♀️🌅🙋♀️
That s not the only way to react... It doesn t apply to all the ocassions... Sometimes you have to confront, call police... Fight, or even insult... When you react it s not supply for them... If you don t do it for them... I react not to let all his poison come inside of me... And to teach me that no... I don t have to always take it... Nevertheless the fear you carry all around, the adrenaline... They smell it like a shark, so... Yes, my dear... Explode for you, it s healthy to let go of emotions... What better place to explode than by someone who absolutely hates me anyway... This is not friendship... This is war... Wake up... They don t come to say hello... 🤺🗣️
I'm in disbelief this makes a lot of sense and a lot of these behaviors get overlooked so bad ...sad thing is sometimes I think they do it and don't even realize they are being self destructive
Kind of funny I got this video today and the exact scenaro happened to me and my daughter, crazy spot on! Thanks Michelle!😀💪
👏This was spot on the mark Michelle - Looking outside us to fill what we (with our own unconscious power) 'believe/feel' is missing within: That's the illusion of 'reality' and the Law Of Attraction (and Karma) in action through us all... So; do we *really* "Need" love, and worth shown to us from others, or is that our quest here on Spaceship Earth - to find the magic kingdom within?
Spectacular video, Michelle! Thank you ❤
Great video. They exactly do direct opposite to what you like and enjoy or do - intentionally regardless of what you do, like in that example you gave with book reading. More you like and enjoy what you do, more frustrated you are hence more FUN they get. They somehow intuitively sense that (cold empathy) and attack there. It’s ho do hear somewhere that to destroy happiness is easiest thing - when person happy and enjoy something he or she is in most vulnerable psychological state and easy target. And will squirt the most amount of emotions if frustrate them in such a state of happiness and joy. Just like a Satan do read that meaning of that word is OPPOSER - someone who oppose you.
Agreed. You’re the first I’ve seen to call it out for what it is. Big babies. And people do need to learn to stop pacifying big babies. Twisted mommy care is what that really is. And the twisted mommy care giver is just as wrong as the big baby they’re pacifying.
Im crying throughout the whole video.....
My N sister claimed she was crying because of me, because I wouldn't tell her whether I was "all alone" during lockdown (her words). I live with three other people and she knows this; I do not have to remind her of my life circumstances, my very existence. I now realize her victim script is fake, for a larger agenda. It's a performance and I'm not a bad person. She will be fine. This was emotional manipulation and I will not address it. I am not responsible for her "emotions." Her fake-outs.
Her agenda? She wants me to feel bad about not giving her my time and attention and being dominated by her-- and she wants me give up my identity and switch places with her (ie: she is all alone, not me, because no one wants to be around her). I know this sounds harsh, but I have seen the pattern over many years. Michele, you are so right, we are all allowed to be happy.
You dont need that person to agree to you to hold on to your perspective 🤯😞.
Ive given up on factual things/ facts / emotionally abusive situations (its not "all that bad", youre "mad"... etc) just because I knew it would be denied or everyone call me a liar, and then question myself.
My wife moved to Texas and i followed months later but she no longer wanted to be with me. She was already in the process of getting her second divorce from me unbeknownst to me.
Our marriage suffered cuz she was mean jealous controlling and vindictive. She would start the fights and I would get offended by her attitude. But we wouldn't of fought nearly as much if it wasn't for her being so mean.
On judgment day don't we all have our lives shown in front of us like a movie? Imagine the guilt my wife will have after seeing how cruel she was towards me and her kids. She treats her kids miserable too. Narcissistic to the bone. Why did i have to meet a narcissist and then marry her? Now i go into the tribulation alone. I might not be able to see my daughter. My wife goes to a Laodicean church that is filthy rich. They have enough food to feed their congregation for months. They won't let me in. She told them i verbally abused her. As Yah as my witness I never verbally abused her. I never called he names none of that. 2 years ago there was an isolated incident where i couldn't take it anymore and snapped after her belittling and psycho behavior. I screw up once and it over she screws up hourly and doesn't admit to it.
This guy Michael told me how she's telling everyone how i verbally abused her and habitually hit her. I told him you can't believe a word from her and denied it all except one isolated incident. I admit to one time where she was screaming i started recording her and she threw my $600 phone out the window. I reacted. I wasn't ready for that kind of psycho behavior. Who does that? Ya i know there is no excuse but 75% of men would of snapped too cuz of the way she was screaming. She has a way of getting under your skin with how cruel vile and disrespectful she can be. Its actually evil. You can see the devil inside of her manipulating her like a puppet. The hate in her eyes from the devil. Makes Beyonce's super bowl manifestation look like a clown show.
I am getting falsely accused of a ton of stuff and no one believes me. They all look at me crazy. And what blows my mind even more is she thinks she's walking in the Fathers will. She creates a fantasy world where she is the victim so everyone feels sorry for her. Claims she is the holy set apart one and I am the one who the devil is manipulating. She actually believes that i am cursed and i need help. That she is righteous and has no need of repentance. Its the other way around. I'm afraid she won't realize that until she's dead and at the judgment seat of Mashiach. But by then she won't have a prayer. She will be cast into outer darkness. I don't want that to happen but i don't make the rules Yah does. I still love her and care about her and don't want her to go to hell. But She is in big trouble by falsely accusing me. Now everyone hates me and i have no friends or anyone. I have my daughter and her kids.
If i knew that she was pulling this crap i would of gotten a lawyer and fought for my daughter. I can't give up on my daughter now. I don't give up on anyone. I have the holy spirit. Unlike her although she thinks she has the holy spirit. But the holy spirit doesn't led you to disrespect your husband be extremely mean and selfish. The holy spirit convicts you to repent and feel anguished by sin not vindicated. And the holy spirit definitely doesn't led you to falsely accuse your husband to the world making him look like a monster. Unbelievable
Yahusha is the Torah made flesh it’s sad you still love her as she seems to have moved on. Such people will demonise you in order to justify their actions. But the sadder part is they convince themselves of the same. It’s like they deceive themselves. Bottom line you can’t change her but you can change your response to her actions. One day the love will disappear and you will be free emotionally.
And if they want negative energy, they can sink into themselves. There are tones of negative energy in them.
But their purpose is to make you agress them because they want you to become a killer, like they are.
No, thanks!
But even if you confront them or get agressive against them that does not make you like them. You are in self defence.
Thank you Michele. I literally feed on your videos.
Wish I'd known these tips when I was with the narc it wouldve saved me a whole lot of grief and helped me heal faster. Valuable practicle advice that works, works.
The times that i pacified the narc i totally regretted it. If you pacify the narc, you lose your dignity, period!
So True....Thank you for making these videos to help me/us recover!!!
Great advice! Thanks for the video Michele.
This is super well done! So helpful and succinct. thank you!
Thank you. This is just what I needed to hear.
Totally makes sense. You are brilliant!
Thankyou for all your precious advice Michele x
Thank you so much , your videos have changed my life
Thanks Michelle! You are glowing. Your camera and lighting are amazing. Grateful for you 😊🙏
Thanks Michelle, your videos have helped me so much! ❤️
Thank you, this video was really helpful to me
Awesome advice Michelle you always have 💯 good advice have a great day
Thank You for helping us.
Cool cool Video 🙏🙏🙏💞💕💕
M, u r such a blessing 2 me 2day!! So clarifying & encouraging!! Thank u So So much ! U way Beautiful inside & out!!
Thank you Michele❣️
Now that you're explaining this I just realised the majority of my friends are like this. Damn
Thank you that was so insightful
Off topic , that flower shirt looks really good on you. So pretty, pretty woman... : D
So empowering "what do i need".
"What do i feel"? So TRUE!!
OMG i like how you put it into words they'll never ever chang exspeisaly for you
Thanks. You look great by the way.
10:37 5 awesome tips. Thank you so much!
I don't need anything like that from them all I have been wanting is for them to physically either take care of themselves & the house they're staying in. That doesn't happen it's all fun when they're off the clock there is no time for responsibility for them. Never really asked that of them I'm just sick of cleaning up after them trying to improve rather than have the condition of this place degrade.
I love your outfit, per usual 😊 (You could make a fashion channel, just sayin)! You're helping a lot of people with your content and by being brave enough to share your story. Keep up the good work 😄👍
Great video, Michele! I cut out my narc family, moved 2100 miles, and made new friends. Well, darn it if my new friend's husband isn't EXACTLY like my oldest brother, who is a hot headed, malignant narc! YIKES! I only visit them in short bursts at their home, because I can leave when her husband starts needing his pacifier. Thanks for making these videos!
I stopped giving people second chance. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Thank you 😊
Spot on perfect. ✨♥️
Breaking on and off over and over
Being Ignored
Left in the dark on anything she was doing
Blocked
Accused
Gaslighted
Instigating arguments
Phone number changed
Codes
Gave me ULTAMATUM of her or my Facebook account to delete
Etc....
My narcissist been doing this for far too long
I really need to speak to someone with experience on narcissists
Feeling lost
Confused
If you don't have kids, get your ish and leave. Took me 19 years to figure out he's a narc. It's reassuring to know it's not me but I am so damaged it's not even funny. Watch everything on UA-cam you can and build your strength back. You can do this!
@@MarieThePetLady i keep trying to convince myself that maybe im mistaken 😞
Why are we so hurt by theses people 💔
I thought she loved me
You narc is a toxic toddler. Why live with a disordered toddler?
All great advise, as always! :) That said, tho I'd love to do all those things, it seems so impossible. Not because I don't get it or that it cannot be done. It's that, after finally gathering the strength to escape a long term toxic marriage, safely.. w/ a teenage son.. Now, being disabled, confused, unsure, afraid, insecure & alone... I never realized then that (not all are to this level) leaving would take the most strength. That, after.. once he lost control, his hoovering, manipulation tactics, tantrums, threats, smear campaigns etc. would be THE most dangerous & hardest part. Not only did the stalking begin, but he manipulated the little family/friends left into not believing or helping us, idk. Worse still.. he quickly & illegally, somehow cleared all bank accts, closed out 401k, stopped son's health ins, hid the cars & tried to even impact my ssi/disability; the tiny income I have. He also RAN & filed for divorce, knowing he just put me in a position to not be able to afford even appearing, let alone having any means to gain legal counsel OR... get there! He thought those things, would get us to come back. Nope.. we've both been total NC since that day & yet he hasn't stopped trying to find ways to locate us, use flying monkeys to reach out, ruin holidays, anything he can.. Oh & tho I was told by 2 different lawyers I was able to call that, if we didn't go in on it together (which would still carry 6 mo sep. waiting period) there'd be a 2 yr waiting period. I was freaking out, but then figured I could focus on other things, ya know... like where to sleep, food for son, total basics... after working my entire life being responsible for everyone. smh. Guess not... somehow, still don't know.. he got it put through. TWENTY six years together on/off since H.S.... 17 of, married... & NO child support, NO alimony/maintenance, NO division of anything... he had it finalized in, I'd say...
@mmanda515 So it's been a month since you posted, and I hope you & your son are okay. Is there a food bank or a church where you are so you can get food? Teenage boys can clean the cupboards...I KNOW! 😂Have you applied for food stamps? I think your son may be eligible too since you're disabled... Give your caseworker a call to check. I too am on SSI, but no dependents, other than a small dog & cat. I escaped my situation 8 months ago...moved 2100 miles away to a tiny town in the middle of nowhere! 💖 I get food stamps (not very much, but it helps), and there's a food bank here, and a place to get decent, clean used clothes for free. Praying for you!
This is so true
I love your coaching. Would love to understand belief system's. This video I think speaks to that but I need more information.
True... they wouldn't let you read
I bet a lot of you can agree that they can trigger out ptsd so much where we become violent.
As hard as it is, the ONLY possible answer is to leave and be done.
A good way to remember these tips is don’t JADE (Justify Argue Defend Explain). If your hobby isn’t hurting others, you do not need to apologise to others for doing what makes you happy.
When you talked about how he didn't like when you read I started to tear up. I also loved to read but my husband could not stand it. He also told me that it was a waste of time. He had not said my name in my presence for over fifteen years. Many years ago when I told him that it bothered me that he doesn't say my name, he told me I was ridiculous and that he says my name all the time. Then he continued to never say my name. I thought I was going crazy, why would he refuse to say my name. It was because he had a term of endearment for me. He calls me lots of awful words... but doesn't use my name. 😥
These jokers are all the same.. my ex narc loved calling me by my middle name which happens to be the name of my abusive narc father. Told her to stop multiple times and she kept doing that shit. These people are boundary testers
Simple - if a person makes you feel bad drop them.
Simple??? I don't think you understand what she's talking about by labelling it simple. Nothing simple about t! I'd say more complex than anything at times!
"Liked"!!
Bottom line stand up for yourself.