How to Set Boundaries|Overcome Fears that Create People Pleasing
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- #codependency #lifecoach #micheleleenieves #selflove
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Are you on your own healing journey and would like one on one assistance regarding topics like:
HOW TO TRUST YOUR GUT
ENFORCE BOUNDARIES
HOW TO RAISE YOUR SELF ESTEEM
OVERCOME SOCIAL ANXIETY
RAISE YOUR VIBRATION
LEARN SELF CARE
LIVE AS YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF
HOW TO STOP RUMINATING
LIVE MINDFULLY PRESENT
HEAL CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
OVERCOME EMOTIONAL ABUSE
HOW TO HAVE HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS W/ SELF AND OTHERS HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE
HEAL NARCISSISTIC ABUSE SYNDROME
OVERCOME CODEPENDENCY
OVERCOME SELF LOVE DEFICIT
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For those that are going to court against a narcissist, the P
For those that are going to court against a narcissist, the PDF entitled When The Devils The Defendent has been a helpful tool for thousands- payhip.com/b/Kl21
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Boundaries consist of 3 steps: 1. Say what you don't like. 2. Say what will be the consequences if step 1 not respected. 3. Execute the consequences if step 1 not respected.
Don't miss step 3, otherwise what you do is empty talk not boundaries
We teach people what we will or will not tolerate by what we will or will not accept. There will be pushback initially but with repeated consistency the new you will be received. They will have no choice to accept you any other way than the new version of you. Consistency is key, people respect ✊ those that respect themselves ❤️💪🏼
This was said perfectly!
I love the comparison of physical fences and emotional boundaries. Loving yourself like you love and respect your property is healthy and needs to be done.
This is so timely! I have had those in my life who don't respect my "new boundaries" get angry, cry, hang up on me, be passive aggressive, target me on social media. I must learn to retrain my thinking because I was triggered today believing I had to get involved in helping someone in a difficult situation. Stopping the cycle was physically painful. Thanks for reminding that it's ok to say no.
Boundaries are so important. It was the biggest red flag to me when I was just telling this guy things I like and do not like . He came back at me I have far too many RULES. We see boundaries and rules differently. I am taking back my own life. Finally after all these years!!!
I wish I'd watched this video years ago, would have saved me so much grief!
Wonderful information.
Yes me too👍🏼
Boundaries are everything.
"We teach people how to be with us", so true! We have more control in relationships than we realize, especially being raised in dysfunction that teaches us not to trust ourselves. People treat you like you allow them to. Unfortunately I've seen the negative result of that. I love when you show the thought processes in our minds! Thank you for another insightful video Michele!
Perfect timing for this video.
For me too! 😊 Good luck
Fiona C thanks 😊 same to you. We can do this 👏🏾
New name which no one knows Hello. I know how you feel as a Christian who believes in the sanctity of marriage, but God does not want you to be abused and damaged by another person. You could always let her initiate a divorce and then you know it wasn’t you who divorced her... separation is not unbiblical especially in situations of abuse I believe. Hang in there and stay strong
New name which no one knows you know what needs to be done already. You’re strength comes from knowing friend! You are strong and you can get through that feeling by just focusing on self and understanding those emotions! Everyone in the comments are here for that same thing and we are going to support each other! We are here to validate and let you know you’re not alone!
learning to set and protect your boundaries can feel like a challenge, but it is so worth it. It takes little actions everyday and a true commitment to your growth and healing.
Going to court in the 17th to enforce my boundaries.
🙏🙏🙏💪💪💪♥️♥️♥️
Mom use to shame me and say “I was just soooo independent.” It was a bad thing in her eyes.
Thank You...
One thing I don't like is being told how to live my life - I've been told where I can and cannot work or live - it's annoying
Thanks for all your great output Michelle.
I can relate to the frustration, bitterness, anger and resentment about Toxic, gaslit DOUBLE STANDARDS outlined by @Craig M 🙌, - but I also respect myself enough to know I do not want to carry the poison of such emotions - - - and I also respect those 'perpetrators' for existing to show me my 'stuff'. However...
...The QUANDRY becomes: 👉 How does one let go of feelings around such personal INJUSTICE ? Because it seems that simply holding the NEED for the boundary is counter-productive in two ways:
1. I am predisposed to avoiding that which I do not want, and will subsequently attract it.
2. The peace and free spirit I seek to release from within will not emerge from its opposite: fear.
🙏
Yes! We who are empathic and sensitive CAN learn to establish and maintain our boundaries!! Even us "olds" (as my 20 year old refers to those 40 and over) can do this work, and it is work worth doing. Great video. You captured the horrific inner monologue perfectly!
I needed this so bad ❤️ Thank you!
Same!!!
Good points to know your triggers, emotions, & emotional flashbacks. I am an empath with cptsd & get ignored by everyone. Have a legal situation with family & failing Mom that makes it all worse. 90% of population seem to be narcissistic/selfish/fake...so sad. The dismissive & ignoring people are hardest as you are constantly running after them to communicate. Thanks for the info 👍💕
Aweeee I get you
My mom neglected me my whole life 💔💔💔
@@shaniecegullison Sorry to hear that. Family is hard. Hang in there friend!💙💕💌👍💪🌏
@@zenawarrior7442 thanks so much for replying ♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏🙏🙏
@@shaniecegullison Very welcome. 🌷🌌💞😊💜💜
Awesome. You must have been in my head in the last couple of weeks. My healthy Mum eliminated my boundaries as a kid when being manipulated by my narc sister. I was happy to recently heal a 31 year old wound, told my Mum (as I felt safe to do so) and she had a hissy fit and sent me a package of stuff I was going to have when she was dead. That sent a clear message to me, but then said she’d healed the trauma that lead to the hissy fit a while ago and told me that maybe I’m not capable of forgiveness now. She wanted resolution but she went into this angry rant with her eyes open. All I could think of was holding on to my boundaries and told her I couldn’t have her doing this to me when I’m narc free at the moment trying to reset my stress levels. I’m not going to confuse forgiveness with trauma bonding again. I feel NET (healing the wound therapy) is the closest to forgiveness there is available and helps set your boundaries. PS Loving being narc free at the moment, it’s a new lease on life.
I needed this video today!!! Thanku so much!!!
Yes we do if someone can't respect my boundaries why should I respect theirs ? Tired of double standards & hypocrites ! Always heard don't do as I do but do as tell you . That's blatant hypocrisy ! I expect silent treatments from emotionally unavalible people but I stand my ground you cannot respect me or my boundaries then I cannot respect you period .
Takes some practice to get to this point. Congrats for reaching this level of freedom! 👍✌️
@@emeralddragon1712 Namaste 🙏!
Your videos always help my perspective When you come on I set boundaries Thank you again Michele
Yes, this was exactly what happened when I tried setting a boundary when I was being yelled at by someone. I hung up the phone and told them I'm not going to be swore and yelled at calm down first then if you want to have a civil conversation I'm open. They sent me a string of messages degrading me calling me stupid and threatened to end our relationship just over this, while previously one day they denied my call simply because I called while they're were eating but I respected that and did not attack them.
Even healthy people will be suprised. Hun, if you’re different, i notice & call you on it; just own it. Its all good, if we’re not changing, we’re not growing. Even the small changes can be monumentous, challenging and downright scary or paralyzing. That you give a damn enough about yourself to actually work on yourself, be aware of yourself speaks volumes of you as a human... being. Unfortunaltely not many actually even know what that means. Oh well.. Here’s to those that get it. Cheers
❤️❤️❤️
We definitely show people how to treat us , i just heard you are "over reacting" to me enforcing boundaries with somebody😏
I realized I didn't have enough boundaries with my almost ex...I locked that junk down. I have ALL the boundaries. And my friends know I have boundaries. I don't play. Anything else on their part is rude. We've had discussions about this and they feel the same (my friends anyway) I don't talk to the almost ex. We communicate through text only, and not much at that....and I'm good with that. The only reason we communicate is because we share a child. I had no boundaries before he left. I realized I couldn't live like that anymore. I gotta do me now so I can take care of our son.
I needed this at this very moment! Thank you. 🖤
Those examples are soooooooooooo good!!!!!! Thank you for helping me through my Life ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
You're amazing Michele! A true Angel!
Thank you so much I feel so blessed to have found your channel. I have alot of work to do I would love to do the 8 hr workshop. New sub here thank you for being here💚
You just nailed it, Michelle!
That is so very true and helpful. Thank you.
Your videos are awesome. I've learned a lot from your videos.
Great advice in this video, thanks Michele..
Really appreciate you making this video, and sharing this information. Thank you.
It's not about setting a boundary it's like they just don't follow it it's easy with normal people. It's a much needed video now. Right time right video.
Thankyou one more time.
Thanks you are awesome..the way you explain..everything about narcissism is great ..♥️👌
Perfect timing
Very well explained for folks to understand. I’m interested in why some people no longer are able to have real time conversations, they can only talk about their version of something that happened or their version of something that will happen, usually bizarre and isolated, cannot be shared with anybody.
Wonderful Video! Thank you Michele.... you look so pretty!
I so needed this video 🙏♥️🙏♥️♥️♥️💪💪💪💪
Thank you this is so helpful
Great video!
Love this! 💖💖💖
Thanks love from Robert x
My narc is calling my boundaries is silence treatment and i am the toxic one :-(
That's a common manipulative tactic narcs use to shame or guilt you into removing whatever boundaries or progress you've managed to make. They project and gaslight with the hopes that you will start doubting your own judgement, then cave and cater to their needs just like before. Don't fall for it! And if it's too much to handle, seriously consider leaving/going no contact with the narc/toxic person. Good luck!
Needed this
I wish I could do coaching with you.
I like that dress its making me emotional good video.
My narcissist the most awful person in this whole world.
Very helpful ❤️
Your video is so thought-provoking.
I have a question. My son just turned thirteen. Unlike a few months ago, he has started staying in his room all the time, door locked always etc. He also seems resentful of spending any time with the family.
Now, I grew up on a narcissistic home where I was punished for having any boundaries at all. I do not want to mess things up with my son.
But I do not really know what is normal or healthy when it comes to boundaries with a 13 year old boy.
I welcome tips or advice on what I should allow, what I should ignore, how to handle conflict of any kind with my son etc. Please help. Thank you.
I avoided my parents like that because they used to be very grouchy and mean. They would yell over minor things and walk around with angry looks on their faces and it made me uncomfortable so i hid out in my room. Then they turned it on me and said i was being a snob for not socializing.
Maybe something about your behavior is pushing your son away and you're unaware of it.
My advice is to talk to him once and say this "Hey I noticed you've been spending a lot of time in your room. If it's just the normal teenage thing of wanting your space then I totally understand, but if anything is making you uncomfortable using the rest of the house please let me know so we can work on it together. Im not trying to give you a hard time or anything, it's just that you're my son and I love having you around so I just want to make sure I'm not doing anything to push you away. If I am you can tell me and I won't get mad.
@@EsotericOccultist That's great! Thank you!
Gorgeous
What statement boundary fits when a person goes into a narcissistic rage over nothing?
What do you do when your daughter is the narcissist. She studies narcissistic behavior then claims everyone else is narcissistic. She refuses to communicate and says she’s creating boundaries, but these look more like walls she puts up after she spews ugliness, slander and lies about us. She refuses to allow you to ask a question by saying it’s a boundary issue. I think it’s emotional and relationship abuse.
What do you do if its your adult daughter who constantly tells you how you ruined her childhood because i married an abusive alcoholic narc. She won't take no for an answer. It always leads to a screaming match and me having anxiety and she will not let up till she gets what she wants. I give in because i know she will not stop, will not leave me alone. I have tried going for a walk. she follows me. I go lock myself in the car she waits me out.
Hi Michelle...just wondering..do you offer certification for a $350 life coach course ?
I get punished when I set a boundary.
I feel like I'm just going to have to leave or something.
We fall in traps because we need them
I liked it more when you were just speaking rather than all these decorations of visuals and sounds