5 Secrets Narcissists Hide - Are YOU Falling For Them?
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- #micheleleenieves #complexptsd #codependencyrecovery #complexptsd
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OH I BELIEVE YOU!!
I lived it for 15 years !!
They do not want peace!!
Please get the hell out ASAP!!!
I left my husband of 33 years and on my own now I’m on healing journey
"You'll never find someone like me again!" -> Excellent, that gives me hope!
Reminds me of the saying, that an apology without a change in behaviour is just manipulation.
Thanks for the excellent video.
It's usually "I'm sorry you feel that way". A bullsh$t apology.
Actually I think that's a "NONpology" with a new direction to move.
12 legged Sasquatch.. “An apology without a change in behavior is just manipulation”. That is so excellent, I had to write it down for future reference! It’s one of the truest statements I’ve heard! Thank you, for sharing it.
Who, here, got an apology ?
@@quasimobius Oh I have many times. "I'm sorry YOU feel that way"........ uh wait..... that was just another "Nonpology "
I don't want to be loved the way they love ! He can keep his love/toxicity to himself ..!
I feel the same way my ex used me at every level it hurt like hell. I let it happen twice but the secound time it was expected dont let it happen twice to yourself!
I am in “everybody” but not “guys”
My grandma called them a street angel, house devil.
What a truly great saying,I will try to remember this and use it,when needed.
So accurate
So good! Sounds familiar 😈😇
So true ! That's why other people wouldn't believe it when I told them how he really was. And he was always complaining about how unable I am to appreciate how great he is.
Yes - the narcissist knows what they are doing is wrong and abusive. And they will continue the abuse as long as they live. My mom would always shame me if I ever say something negative about the family in front of an outsider. at first, I thought she was protecting the family. But now I know she was indirectly instructing me to hide the abuse.
Yes same
Ok I see it now. She sounded like a puppet. Just like mine.b
Sometimes it seems like they love us because they really need our presence. We mistake this need with love. This "need" hides their truly goals: to satisfy their instinct of hurt and degrade people , and at the same time be praised and admired.
This is so true 😩
Wish I got this 25+ years ago!!!
Now I know and am rebuilding from the inside out. 💗
@@PC-kc4lw me too💪
“I know you better than you know yourself,” is another classic. They don’t even know who They are, much less who You are. Yet, they think they are these omniscient, all-knowing beings. The truth is: They have no special powers and are covering up their own ordinariness with their thin veneer of “supreme perfection.”
So true! My ex always said the exact same phrase to me all the time and I was saying to myself what the hell is he trying to say because how can you know someone better than themself?? Crazy people.
Daniela Dela Rosa 👍
My Nex used to say this all the time. Which made her discard hurt me even more.
That's what my mother says to me. She thinks she knows everything. Here I am almost 50 was married to a covert narc for 20 years and realized my mom is one too. I don't think I'll ever recover. I'm like a depressed empty shell now.
So very true 😢🥺
I’m always amazed at how you are able to explain the nuanced psychological abuse in such detail.
Bcoz she is an empath
@@gmoney6595 She said she experienced certain things with her mom, and her mom is a narcissist.
THEY WAKE UP AND PLAN THEIR DAY! And HOW TO MANIPULATE YOU!!!
This is the covert !!!
I lived it !!!!!!
Read somewhere about covert narc “street angel home devil”. SO TRUE!!!
I was married to a covert- narrisst for 31 years!!! I'm disabled from his abuse and he abused me through the court system! Thanks legalsheild!!! I'm disabled, homeless, bankrupt!!! Now he is smearing me to our adult children!!!
Gert Bender my nickname is Gert. My grandad gave it to me.
You poor things. That’s horrendous xx sending hugs
Spot on! My narc says she wants to resolve our issues, but she doesn't. She argues about something new everyday. It's getting real old. Thank you for this insight.
Mine said she wanted to work on the relationship but argued about the same thing everday. After trying to work on it. I even had days circled on the calender predicting the argument and make up phase. She always wondered what the circled days were. I checked my accuracy i was correct 87% of the time. It was fun until i got fed up.
Same here
The purpose is to keep you on the hamster wheel, not to resolve.
Yaay Will. Keep learning about Narcassism. Michelle Lee is great & Dr. Les Carter's series 'Surviving Narcissism' on UA-cam. Mind blowingly spot-on.
Great video Michelle. Thanks to you & a few others...I am off the crazy making, unending rollercoaster 🎢 ride. Up, down, up, down. Silent treatment, projection, gaslighting, insane level raging - always followed at some point by a short period of calm. It's ( their games) ALL designed to keep us off balance.
Lies bring insanity and pain with a narcissist If you keep falling for it
Don't let them defile you!! Blessings stay safe and well-being!!💕💕👣👣🙏🙏😘😘🤗😊😊🙋🙋💖💞
They are right in saying nobody loves the way they do.. cuz their concept of love is totally different and nobody should want that sort of sucking love either.. your videos are word to word exactly what they are thanks for enlightening us
I believe everyone who's been in a long term relationship with a narcissist has fallen for these lies. At least in the very beginning! This video really reminds me of the questions I used to ask myself during the first year of the relationship. I knew that the way I was treated wasn't healthy or normal in any way, yet I kept telling myself that it's not being done on purpose.
Great video! I hope this will help people who are still in toxic relationships to open their eyes!
I hear ya I felt the same
I hope no one ever loves me like you love me. Please dear God
Warrior Lissy thst was a very astute statement. Wise beyond your years.
@@rickelpers1820 thank you Rick this is my toughest journey but I know it will get better.
I heard that one about 20 years ago. “No one understands you like I do.” That is absolutely part of the bullshit gaslighting.
They need drama to hide their actions like politicians need a diversion what they're really doing they tell us one thing and do another.
Watching these videos and finally releasing the need to please the narcie in my life has been so relieving.
"The victim gets tired of banging their head against the wall... they just stop... they let go of trying to get their point across, and then the next day the toxic person wakes up as though nothing happened the day before. It's like the conflict never existed."
Indeed.
To my face, he acts like he is speaking well about me but he’s really speaking horrible about me to others. He’s lying about me, laughing at me and calling me crazy, etc.
What's scary is the prevalence of narcissists in society. It's depressing how common this behavior is. I wish narcissism was as discussed and openly fought against as racism. They're both bad but one gets way more attention.
I tried to find a movie about narcissism and frankly I haven't seen one listed. I mean a movie about a normal person and a narcissist having a relationship and all it entails... the love-bombing, the idealization, the devaluing, the discard, the hoovering, the lies/manipulation/gaslighting, etc. If anyone has seen this movie let me know, because I have yet to see it.
@@SuedeStonn Seriously? Gaslight, Mommy Dearest, Sleeping with the enemy. My recommendation is do not become a Co-star in any of the sequels
@@guardian4525 I'll check out sleeping with the enemy 👍
@@SuedeStonn Uh.... Tonight when you roll over? B-))
In the words of Alf...... I kill me!
Sorry but my humor has no filter. I found it helps when dealing with Narc's though. GF still can't figured out what I am laughing at.
Esoteric. Thanks for the comment. I will humbly submit to you that narcissism is the primary political issue. The political arguments that we get swept into are the macro equivalent of a narc disingenuously reprimanding you about whether or not you put fabric softener in the dryer to get into a retarded argument for leverage purposes. Meanwhile, actual issues get no attention. Cheers.
They are full of lies..
He is different in front of people..i dont know how to deal with him. Never wants to tesolve any problems.
This is exactly what I heard all my life from my mother. It's exactly as if you were telling a story about me..
Thank you so much for this eye opening channel and all your videos! They helped me to start the healing process. I am 26yo now so maybe it's a bit late to realise all that. But you brought me so much hope to my life.
Your words are so true and so right! It really changed my life for only better.! Thank You so much 😭and I wish you all the best ❤❤
Greetings from Poland~!
Hey there, compatriot! :D You realized this at 26? In our lovely country of all places, with the whole "family values" thing we've got going? Oh no, it's not late. I'd even say you have caught on quite fast. All the best, love!
Honey that's really great to catch on to them @26! Took me thirty years longer 😂😭. Don't forget what you've learned and continue to grow healthier every day.
Just wanna let you know I appreciate you so much I used to obsess over your narcissist videos due to my son father being a king narcissist..I stop giving him supply and went the legal way with custody and listened to your advice on what to do and tear later got full custody of our son it was not a easy process but I’m grateful for your videos thanks ♥️
Trying harder & harder, running faster & faster to make them happy until your life is on the back burner. *YES!*
This was my life!!!!
I hid within myself for so long.
I'm finally coming out of the hiding place of myself ❤️
These people have been taken over. It's like a human shell with none of the humanity.
This video is spot on in my life and my daughters life, she always made me feel like her family and stepdaughters never came around because of me, I was told by these folks that that is not true. Michelles videos opened my eyes up about a year ago! She is a blessing in my life!
The toxic people in our lives can *never* be happy, in the sense that we understand it. Non-toxic people know that happiness is an *internal* process, and we know that it comes about as a result of the thoughts and attitudes we have coming from those thoughts. No matter what our life situation, the Kingdom of Heaven is *within.* They see this in us and *DESPISE* it.
Chet Pomeroy thank You for saying this
Wow!!! I have really benefited. I must have full control of my life.. Through God's grace and mercy it is possible. Thank you very much
Chet that is spot on !
I asked him what he would do everyday to be ‘happy’ without me.. what he did before me to be happy ..
Answers:
Smoke weed
Drink
Watch tv
Play basketball (to show everyone how wonderful he is at it)
^^
I said well I USE TO :
Do random acts of kindness, kindness rocks, scarecrow contests, coach, ride a bike through the trails, sit and listen to the birds.. oh the wonderful things I use to do that felt soooo good & I let him take it all away😭😫💔😢🥺😖🤮
I am in the process of trying to go no contact .. I wish I could just DO IT ..
Very well Said, Thank you
It's taken me a while to unpack my art studio....so much in there has memories of him. I ran across notes I wrote him and a journal entry of a fight we'd gotten in. Got to love that phase where he constantly yelled at me for "interrupting" him when I was simply trying to have a conversation or warn him about something breaking.
Found a card from him. He admitted to treating me badly, went on and on about how he wanted to uphold his marriage vows to me, that he'd do _better_ from here on out. That I meant the world to him.
Supposedly words were all I needed back then. He could throw a shitty card my way and *bam* I'd be back in it! Not anymore. Actions are what I look at ❤️
My narcissistic mother *and* father (whom I now believe to be on the psychopathic/sociopathic side of things broke and entered into my apartment on Sunday night. They found their way in, and were here for a period of time without me knowing it. They locked me out, because I had the door cracked as I was trying to communicate something to a neighbor. They wouldn't open it. While I was locked out, they snooped around my things -- it took me yelling and screaming and banging on the door, and a good 5 minutes before my father came to open it. I was in such shock. I saw a Joker grin on his face and he told me that he hated me. He sort of mouthed the words but it was audible. He said it twice. These are my elderly 75 year old parents.
They do not live with me, and I had been accepting financial help from them for a number of reasons where I believed that they cared about me. So I have no more cognitive dissonance about this. I think that means the trauma bond is breaking or broken, but I am not sure. Does the finality of cognitive dissonance break the trauma bond? I guess I have a lot more learning to do, which is fine, because that's all I want to do.
My parents called the cops on me. They engineered it to look like the victims and "oh my poor son, I love him more than words can say." My parents were in an ambulance ahead of mine but everyone was in communication through speakers or whatever....
It was raining where I am. My dog ran out of the apartment downstairs, in a panic. I was having a nervous breakdown. One cop -- one spirit guide, angel on earth - and a machismo much more stern one, at that -- identified the issue. He was trying to center me somehow by repeating drill-like things after him. One of them was, "You saved you" , "YOU saved YOU":, "They are doing this because they HAVE to." He gave me his badge number and stayed with me, by choice, til the very time it was time for the nurses to takre over -- and not before he conveyed to them the reality. I heard hushed whispers. One nurse convincing the next, by saying "think about it -- they don't know his dog's name. They can't answer basic questions about him. They are watching TV while he is having a breakdown." Stuff of that nature.
They waited 2 days before they must have known I was released. I was not in the psych ward for more than a day. 30% left on my phone. No keys. No wallet. I walked the hour walk amidst this pandemic, to get to a few blocks past where I lived. Thankfully, my old friend from NA had a spare set of my keys I had given her. I walked into my dog having had been alone for over a day. That's it;. I could breathe.They didn't take her.
I realize how possible it is to fall back into cognitive dissonance. When my father told me he hated me with a look on his face, I began to dry heave uncontrollably. If I had any food in my system there would have been a huge mess. I feel like that was because I was staring at evil, and that I *knew it* .... I just KNEW it all along. 7 years ago my sister died, and ... they are evil.
Said father refused to answer by text messages, where I asked why they were here? And how did they get in? My father apologized for some text message that my mother sent, which was so gross I deleted it and said a lot of things I don't regret to be honest. He was trying to make her the fall guy - and dodge these simple questions. He told me he did not know what I was talking about. He begged to talk on the phone, when I told him to "Be Well. Goodbye." and he said "How can I be well when I get such Hatred from you?" and told me he was shaking. He knows I know who he is, and he will desperately try to make it back to "normal." Actually, no idea what they are capable of. I saw what they were doing. Did they overplay their hand? It wasn't in their plan, surely, for arresting officers and psych-ward staff (where I ended up), to see them for what they are. I *begged* an officer to say something that has them believe they saved me and are heroes in some way, or else they will come back,
I didn't hear from them for 2 days after, and then voicemail 2-3 mins long, I will not listen to. No desire to, Keeping them for proof of the timeline, for myself and if it works for any other purpose.
Getting order of protection. Changing locks. No contact. No ,longer accepting money from them. Except I am scared. I have a few hundred dollars. I have work experience and will apply for anything I can somewhat imagine myself doing. The goal is to break free financially, because they don't own me. They think they do. I know that. This apartment is under my name. Helping me (yea right) for a period of time does not give them access to me. But they see me as an object at best,.
Your video is so timely. This is so long, I am risking posting it because... who's gonna read such a long post? But if someone does, and you get it... Thanks. I feel free to be rid of them but because they know where I live and have used a neighbor of mine to covertly triangulate me with , and spy on (she's a psychopath and is happy to do it).
SO much value and resonance with this video and so many others.
E. Rock Freedom , sorry this happened. 😞 I read whole thing. Terrible! This sounds like exceptionally tough time. I hope you feel better soon. Emotionally draining.
I understand completely!!! I had to move away cross country because my narc ex parents, siblings, narc ex best friend and anyone else they could recruit kept stalking me and calling the cops on me for "safety checks" saying i was suicidal, while I was alone and my fiance was at work because I went no contact with all of them. I read your whole post and you are not crazy they are!!! I also used to get help from them and then they would act like they owned me. Free yourself financially even thru govt hel and then move and change number if possible and give no one the info unless they do not know your family! Have a good day and save yourself! You're doing great already be strong!!!
*govt help
Thank you guys. I have been in bed for days depressed, the crash, the PTSD crash. I feel frightened because even when they're not here, they're here. Gangstalking.
E. Rock Freedom , yes , Narcs once they get onto something they are relentless and unfortunately some are not happy unless they can destroy you. Luckily they usually make mistakes along way and end up hurting themselves more than anyone else.
Some days just really suck!!
So right. They make some fake friends think you are paranoid, and "not connected with reality."
1 minute and 18 seconds in: GOLD. 😌💓 thank you so much 🤗 so incredibly needed
YES!!! I never imagined that he would lie to me .
BUT IT HAPPENED DAILY !!!
I look back now and know that I gave him the ammunition to hurt me !!
Seeing the darkness shadow over her face. Knowing the payback will come after the rage. Lies. Hiding my soul. Hiding my true light. They will never be happy. Truth. I'm awake now. No more Begging from the Narc. No more lies. I broke free.
My Mom spoke trash about me to others that one person asked me if she was my Mother in law.
I never took her trash talking seriously until now at age 50.
Very hard deep psychological discussion made very very easy to understand.
Thanks a million Michelle. I saved this to hear many times and gain more understanding.
What you have to watch out for is, if they do all of a sudden agree with you and you feel like you’ve broken ground, it’s just a trap to suck you back in.
As we progress in learning narcissism, narcissist also learn how to outsmart us.
Just remember.
The only honest thing a narcissist says is their name.
The only true weapon a narcissist cannot defeat is no contact.
After 16 years of marriage I never realized I am married to a covert narcissist until i came across your videos. How I came to this conclusion is that a couple of years ago, i started googling things that my husband would constantly do, i.e. long silent treatments, flipping my words around, of course cheating and making me feel like a paranoid craze, etc etc. At first "mental and emotional abuse" popped up and he checked a lot of the boxes. Then the term "gaslighting" came up, something I had never heard of. He checked most of the boxes there as well. Well, just recently I came across your videos regarding "covert narcissism" and... ding ding ding ding. JACKPOT. Finally! an explanation of absolutely anything and everything throughout all these years! I am so relieved now that I don't need to keep walking on eggshells anymore. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Michele! It feels so liberating! So now, I just need to take a deep hard look at my own self esteem (and find a decent job) to have the courage to leave his hell. I am forever grateful. Thank you again. Your videos changed my entire perspective.
I love the way you said ... if they can switch from Mr Nice Guy in public to mean guy at home they don’t want to change! They are fully aware how to act and so they choose to act like a jerk to us when public is not around.
The People Who Dislike The Video,They Are Narcissists😁
As you approach the solution, the devaluation rises proportionately with the amount of time left until the resolution becomes immanent and then you never get to it. You get discarded and then hoovered and you're back on square one.
I need to hear this . Each n every word you said is so apt. Thank you for this video. BABA bless you. Namaste 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💐💐💐
My friend your presence and love on youtube is enough for me to stay awake from narcissist.
Michelle, You are a gift to US! & the price you paid to be where you are! OMG! Thank you! "We teach what we needed to know the most" -C.S. Lewis 😘🤓💪
Hi Michele, this is one of the best videos I've seen. So very accurate. Thank you for your videos. I have been in several relationships with female narcissist / borderline / psychopath and it is so damaging. I have just been discarded by a female narcissist and I only realised the extent of the pathological lying when it was over and I came out of the fog. It's amazing how they can be this way! I'm very aware and familiar with the cluster B spectrum as I've done my research for the past 5 years and I still got fooled. The red flags were there from the start, but I stupidly ignored them, getting swept up with the love bombing. It's very difficult.
Great insights Michele, perfect street angels and home devils.. they really are!
That’s why I don’t tell the mutual people the narcie and I know anything that happens between us. Then again, my friends who know nothing about my family... I’m not afraid to tell them everything.
There's a movie called "Seize the Day". A 1986 movie with Robin Williams and a whole cast of wonderful actors. Its on freeve and it's free. This movie is the best portrayal of narcissistic abuse Ive ever seen. The most profound statement was when his girlfriend said "Everything is not dependent on just one thing". But it just didnt matter. I can relate completely because My mother was 100% the personality type of the father in this movie
They always see the negative in people never anything postive .
The narc I knew many years ago told me how much I loved him, I found out he was a compulsive liar,he brainwashed me,never wanted me to get involved with anybody else. I became an obsession for him,he possessed me,made my life hell, I couldn't get away from him no matter how hard I tried. I hated him beyond hatred,eventually. But then so did EVERYBODY else who knew him. The most evil demon I ever met in all my life .
My problem i have empathy for them.
@Sandra U.AAAAAHHHHH !!!! TRASH DOESN'T DESERVE MY EMPATHY !!
And that's fine. It's natural to feel bad or sad for others who are lost or suffering. But you need to have boundaries. Your boundaries that you set with these toxic people let's them know what you are not OK with. Of they choose not to respect those boundaries you need to clearly set in place, then they are straight up disrespecting you and your wants and needs. Many narc are know to trample all over someone's boundaries, so don't be the least bit surprised if that happens. Then you can tell that person immediately of the boundary talk you had with them, how they agreed to respect your boundaries and failed to. Then you can state that you don't have time or energy for someone who can show you such outright disrespect and disregard for your needs and wants. Then you go very low contact or no contact.
That’s good for forgiveness...from afar though!
And they use that empathy against you.
@@Pfsif yes they do all the time
Some classics listed up.
1. Saying something and after they deny saying it.
2.Nobody will love you like I do. Because you are far from perfect and an other man wil probably cheat on you. Also you are not the youngest anymore.
3. At work they respect me and they say: come on you are such a handsome man what do you see in her. Plenty of fish in sea.
4. I never argue with him , there are always other people involved. Everyone has something negative to say about me According to him. People I know and I don’t know.
5. Always talking about other women.
( when this is over I will get myself a beautiful Brazilian woman)
6. He is always crying but the funny thing is that he cries when he talks about himself
Example: I love you so much I couldn’t watch another movie, eat a pizza just to go outside would hurt me. I can’t live without you because I love you with everything I have.
9. Your business will never work because you don’t work together with me. If we would work together we will be like a Swiss watch.
10. He doesn’t like to work and he has no ambition. He wants to open a business but takes no action and he doesn’t put money aside. He is 40 years old and he works in the same fabric. He has no responsibility at work but acts as if he is sooooo tired.
This list can go on and on. I started to record everything and now I understand what kind of sick person I am dealing with.
I even lowered myself to call his ex. Her first word was : run from that narcissist.
Problem is he uses my religion beliefs against me. I am afraid of what the future will bring and also I am afraid of being a narcissist myself. Don’t want to sell the house I worked so hard with I sleep on the couch for almost a year now and he sleeps in MY bed.
One of the best videos! Thank you
This is another spot on video you have posted. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for explaining this situation that is so hard to understand. You break it down so well. Also when you used the voice it was funny that it was accurate & I can understand why you didn’t like imitating it. You are awesome! Thank you what you are doing for humanity!!! Should be mandatory learning in school. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽💜💜💜
Lovev's life true love Never die I know a great and powerful healer that can get back your ex or crua without delay Just forever within 48hours he helped me too immediately
massage him on WhatsApp
+/(2 0 4)/8/0/8/2/2/3/4
Exactly. Their words & actions don't match. I was love bombed, but I never had the trauma bond. She played so many games & lies, I was glad to see her go. I never fell for the lies. Just tired of them. Been gone 14 years, and she tried to get her foot in the door twice. Nope! She was unreasonable, her way or the highway. I'll take the highway, there is no us.
omg yes!!!! I find myself saying those words all the time!! " I feel like I am having a conversation with a wall!" so unbelievably frustrating.....
They choose to be unhappy, they harm themselves, they get sick and then ask you to make them happy, heal them.
What really burns 🤬 is having to keep quiet and ride it out when you’ve been smeared. Those subtle yet insidious comments really pack a punch. It’s those off handed remarks cloaked in their poor me, vulnerable, sullen 😔 routine.
They are playing the SAINT using false modesty. Or they insult you with humor, making fun of you, humiliating you in front of others or behind your back. They bait others to inflate their egos and fortify their false image while shaming you. It’s a sucker punch 🥊 You get the stink eye, you get the cold shoulder, you get snide comments or an earful. It’s sooo infuriating but the best way to handle it is to just swallow the jagged little pill of deception and let it go. Resist the urge to add fuel to the fire and know that narcs given enough rope will inevitably hang themselves. People are blind as we once were, they were played too. Narcs end up revealing their true nature in time, their mask slips eventually. It helps take the sting out that some people do see thru them quietly so not everyone is fooled like they want you to believe. Don’t let them psyche you out, ride it out.
OMGOSH!!!! This is SSSOOOOO amazing!! I cannot thank you enough for shedding light onto me 🙏🏻
I fell for the no one will ever love you the way I love you trick, til I thought deep about it and realized they were right, no one would ever love me with so much toxicity, no one will ever treat me bad like they do. I went the other direction of thinking, and understood that I deserved so much more, I deserved true love with no egg shells included. A friend of mine brought me here, one word he said to describe what I told him about my relationship "narcissist" and I went from there, I thank that friend every day for opening my eyes.
Wow! This is sooo true! Now that I have had a session with you - I realize this is sooo true every day all day ! Thank you for your insight ! 💕
Subscribed to your channel for quite a while now, but still amazed on how precise you describe the template of narcissists👏
Great video. On point!!!!!
Powerful, powerful once again from Lynn. Thanks for bringing meaning to our qns. Bless you
Thank you Michelle for all your advice. I'm taking notes on everything.
This is so brilliant ! I can not tell you how timely this is. Thank you for making such information public... from the bottom of my heart.
You look amazing and your not a narcissist . Omg . Thanks for all your on point Information. You are helping so many people. Even the narcs because if you feed a monster it gets stronger and more disturbing. Love from Robert x.
It is öné of the best videó ön UA-cam , which helps to understand the way how think narcissistic people, and demonstrating it whith examples.
Thank you Michelle 🙏 for the clarity.
OH my word- you describe my ex husband the passive aggressive covert narc that I was married to for 14 insane years. Yes - that victim / martyr voice - I heard it. Argh - as you reverted to that my skin prickled! Well done for nailing it. I love the reminders that it was never about me!!! It was all about him. Thank you for always being there for me!
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Hi Michele. Thanks for being so enlightening and helpful. I am awakening at last and you have been such a help with my recovery. Please keep up the work. I will keep watching for sure. Much Love. Tim. Guildford England.
By far the most informative and we'll articulated video of yours to date Michele. Unpicking the mind games of narcissism is yet another layer to the crazy making cake that's been offered to so many. What rang true for me in this video was that you shouldn't let your perception of what the Narc is up to be taken as gospel as it's most likely just another part of the misdirection and lie you are being sold.
My mother can see these in her mother, but not really and never see them in herself. I keep trying to get through but my heart hasn't accepted it will never happen. It hurts.
The last one is really big one for me. My narcissistic husband is always saying that he wants peace and resolution but his words and actions never match that. Or he will agree to do something to work on the relationship and it only lasts a day or two. I used to think if only he understood this or that, maybe we could figure things out but I no longer feel and act that way. So now he bounces from acting like nothings wrong and just perpetual silent treatment or saying he has things to do. If we do have a disagreement, it is just like you said he pretends it didn’t happen based on how he feels. If it didn’t make him that upset it might be the next day. Or if he is angry he might ignore me for a few days and then pretend like nothing had happened. It used to make me so mad that he was not acknowledging what went on but now I think that is how he is. He definitely isn’t charming but I still think #4 applies. He does act differently in certain circles. If we are just by ourselves or with the kids doing something for the day he doesn’t usually hide his toxic behavior but if a colleague is around him or one of his friends or a family member, then he puts on a show. Any times I have confronted him in the past he will say he doesn’t understand how something happened or why or blame it on something his parents didn’t teach him how to communicate or express his feelings.
We used to have fights where I would say I feel like I have to turn myself inside and out for you. He would deny my feelings and tell me he didn’t know why I would say that. If I would bring up points about how his words don’t describe how he feels but are just accusations and insults, he says he doesn’t know what I mean. If I ask him what caused him to react a certain way he would answer I don’t know. So many questions he would answer I don’t know or I don’t remember. Now he gives me the silent treatment so often I believe there’s a lot he doesn’t remember about the way he is acting
Yes, these comments are nearly identical to the metaphors I put together to paint a version of the way it felt to me. That’s exactly what it’s like...the one person you ever loved the mostly completely, and you’ll never even be completely certain that they was real... but I still like to imagine a person existing that is genuinely so loving and loyal and wonderfully childlike like that though, I think that’s what gets us attached the most to them.🦋🙏🦋
I've listened to a lot of talks recently but I listened to about 5 of yours this morning because I really like your approach. Thank you for helping me to understand. °☆●○☆
You are extremely helpful in my life!
Thank you!!!
I know you better than you know yourself so true
So glad I got away from the narc a Year ago . What an insane marriage .
Thank you so much! This is new to me...I was convinced it was me. That's what brought me to this genre of video
How fucked up could it make you if you spent high school and a year after with this person. I'm 27 now and I am just now seeing I've been under the assumption the whole time there was something wrong with me and I was horrible to her? How much is already an issue I had?
Wow, I thought I knew all the filthy narc maneuvers! Great content Michelle! I learned some new protective info.❤ Thank you!
Thank you Michele❣️
You are such a good teacher!!!
Great video, thanks Michele.
All 5 points were so true and unfortunately I believed him in all...Thanks for this amazing video ..I am trying to recover...
Nice Workshop CoachM !!
Your best video yet, spot on, 👍
You learn after a while not to laugh or have a smile even in your eyes.
So true!! Thank you.
#2 is used A LOT from my narcissistic parents. They know my happiness and they care about me more than anyone in this world!! I often fall for it. So trust no one, but us (narcissists).
My ex narc would INSIST he was answering my question or doing what I had wanted when he really wasn’t. Cherry picking info out of a conversation and trying to lead the conversation isn’t listening.
Th here’s always something new to learn or at least refine the nature of these people so you can know them deeper and begin the process of getting away, safely.
You nailed it. I have experiencing very tatic by the "Narc-a-holic" in my life.
Wow. I have accused him of being such a fake! He is so nice in front of others!! Carries my luggage only in front of others! At home alone says "Get it yourself!" Only 1 example of fakeness.
Number 4 and 5 freaked me out! Never knew!
Amen to the higher power above the words in this video is so on point I'm a normal person and I cannot believe people act like this I know there's people that's mentally ill I understand that but I did not know about narcissists until I self studied and found out by accident and every video I watched it's the one point I can't even believe I already knew all this stuff without going to school for it
I would say my husband would say the last point about me. What he wants and needs is so obvious, he says. He shouldn’t have to express it.
This was informative; on point as most coaches and victims have shared! Awesome, simply because it helps those that have fallen prey to this demonic, life altering personality to know it had nothing to do with them but, everything to do with the predator!! It's truly like being cast in a movie that you never auditioned for! But, because we consented by ignoring red flags, now we must run for our lives, literally!! I thank God for my awakening sooner than later, and for everyone I was lead to online! A blessing for me😇. I married this mentally Ill man but, soon after began seeing the inconsistency and questioned every action; demanded work; called him out on it! I know it's not advised to do it this way but, I felt this was the way and stood on it! Yes, the negativity increased, threats increased, began really ignoring more than before, with all the other unacceptable selfish behaviors!! Responded as I expected! I gave a warning letting my husband know, I can't continue like thus, don't be caught somewhere again, he did and I followed through! The discard!! He's still lying to me never done a thing! Though I seen him several times with my two eyes!! He's Hoovering but has failed to come back with plans or a sincere apology. No more answering, No contact as I've been accustomed in past relationships!!!! Just disappointed! Moving on! Only God can provide the miracle needed to save my one sided marriage!😁😊. So glad it's was only 9 months and not 9 years on the emotional merry go round & rollercoaster! It's not what I want; it's what I must do!! Oh, through revelation and the blinders removed, I also had someone physically supporting me through the drama! If not, I'm positive I would have been discarded first and probably physically abused!! It was on the verge of happening and law enforcement was utilized the day I had to discard 😑😇! The son still shines!!! Didn't mean to say so much but, somebody has to be encouraged! My faith carried me to this point and forward will accompany me to it's completely over! It's not over!!