How to stop the cycle of negative thinking

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  • Опубліковано 13 чер 2024
  • Not all negative thoughts are bad. But constantly thinking about negative things can lead to a downward cycle psychology calls rumination.
    Rumination is when we have certain thoughts, memories, or ideas, that get stuck in our brain. And trying to relax, unwind, or think about something else can simply make the thought more ingrained.
    When we're stuck in a ruminative thought pattern, our brains will naturally fill any unoccupied mental space with that negative loop. The antidote is to minimize that empty space by keeping our minds engaged and challenged.
    I'm going to show you some practical strategies to hack your brain and end rumination cycles.
    Join this channel to get access to perks:
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    00:00 The Frustrating Nature of Brain Rumination
    02:51 The Impact of Rumination on Mental Energy Allocation
    05:27 Minimizing Rumination Through High-Stimulation Activities
    08:09 Engaging the Brain to Combat Ruminative Thoughts
    10:45 Directing Mental Energy for Positive Focus
    Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.
    But I do care.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 374

  • @1chumley1
    @1chumley1 Місяць тому +91

    I have to do 30 min of HARD cardio a day. It's pretty hard for a thought loop to remain through it. It's unpleasant, but it gets you out of your head.

    • @bemanos12345
      @bemanos12345 Місяць тому +9

      But what happens after the 30 mins are over?

    • @penelopehunter7506
      @penelopehunter7506 Місяць тому +10

      Same here. The earlier the better. Cortisol Awakening Response is real. Best to burn that off earlier in the day

    • @1chumley1
      @1chumley1 Місяць тому

      ​@@bemanos12345I usually get a pretty good shot of dopamine from working out and just getting done with it elevates my mood. I usually have a little different perspective afterwards.

    • @katk1958
      @katk1958 Місяць тому

      And now, how to do this and immediately fall asleep at bedtime, before the ruminating thoughts begin. Granted, I've recently discovered exactly what the doctor is talking about and it's truly amazing how well it works. But, we have to slow down at bedtime enough to fall asleep, and then the ruminating begins. 😔

    • @1chumley1
      @1chumley1 Місяць тому +2

      ​@@katk1958I work out in the evenings. My body tends to level out. The benefit is still there by the time I go to bed.

  • @tiffanylam5026
    @tiffanylam5026 Місяць тому +109

    Not doing anything is the worst, but I don’t have the energy/motivation to do anything….

    • @StoicNature444
      @StoicNature444 Місяць тому +2

      A good neurotrophic could help that.

    • @artlego1007
      @artlego1007 Місяць тому +3

      Wow! That is me as well!

    • @scareybailey
      @scareybailey Місяць тому +6

      Your brain will still be whirling anyway. Best put it to work on some useful activities.

    • @tiffanylam5026
      @tiffanylam5026 Місяць тому +9

      @@StoicNature444 it’s more like I don’t have hobbies, my brain doesn’t seem to find anything particularly interesting. I won’t consider myself anhedonic though, I still enjoy the time spent with my partner. Just not for myself or any activities whatsoever.
      I feel like on the stimulation scale 1-10 like Dr Scott said, lower activities meaning more motivation and willpower needed, everything is like 2-3s for me but I don’t ever know what my 10 is. It’s probably like doing nothing? Not that I enjoy doing nothing, it’s terrible. I deleted all social media just in case but it didn’t help. Didn’t like video games or TV that much either.
      The biggest distraction for me is going to work, even though I hate it and there is no satisfaction at all. But holiday alone, all day long doing nothing, dreads me even more.

    • @StoicNature444
      @StoicNature444 Місяць тому

      Have you looked into Microdosing Shrooms? I find they really help me stay present and I'm more able to jump into things without hesitation.

  • @kaytooreal
    @kaytooreal Місяць тому +183

    I really appreciate your channel❤can’t afford therapy right now & your videos are honestly better than going to therapy

    • @CyndieAmala
      @CyndieAmala Місяць тому +12

      He is great! Better than any therapist I've been to.

    • @kaytooreal
      @kaytooreal Місяць тому +3

      @@CyndieAmala I agree!!

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu Місяць тому +17

      Totally agree. I am in deep mourning right now, and multiple people have suggested counseling, and I'm like, "Ah....NO. Been there, done that. NO." Dr. Scott is a completely different category.

    • @jacquelinekabugo-raderson1878
      @jacquelinekabugo-raderson1878 Місяць тому +4

      Agree! 👍🏾

    • @paulstockton7121
      @paulstockton7121 Місяць тому +9

      My 2 Cents. I think therapists want us to come to the correct conclusions on our own as they are more impactful and longer lasting. However, if you're like me and don't have a good grasp on my own feelings and motivations it's better for someone to explain things and I can see if it fits me or I applicable to me.

  • @stevec404
    @stevec404 Місяць тому +59

    Paused with the "3 year old" analogy. There certainly is no way to take away the energy of a 3 year old...but you can absolutely crush the energy of a 7 year old! That was the root cause of my lifelong dysfunctions and negative mindset. What a torturous journey it has been. The numb phase of just trying to hide from life finally ended with an insight into its root cause. Then the sorrow, and the rumination began. That tsunami of emotions took a decade to subside. My healing through reprogramming continues. Triggers of the past and fear of the future still crop up from time to time...and I now have the skills to acknowledge them; and let them go. Never bury an emotion or a triggered thought - it will haunt you forever. I got busy this morning, right after some rumination kicked in. It was a non-actionable one, so I chose to get busy with ongoing remodeling I am doing at home. It worked. When I broke for breakfast...the rumination returned and tried to break me.. I have other skills to deal with it. Breakfast is over; and I am getting right back to work - my personal proof that your video explanations are correct.

    • @jeraldbaxter3532
      @jeraldbaxter3532 Місяць тому +3

      Thank you. Your sharing this has helped reinforce the message of the video.😊

    • @rainbeau9752
      @rainbeau9752 Місяць тому +2

      oh great, that’s so good that you have the skills, that makes me feel so much better.
      i don’t. Thanks for rubbing it in.

    • @Thoughtworld1984
      @Thoughtworld1984 Місяць тому +3

      Gosh, thank you for this post. Maybe there is hope...

  • @pamelabarone5868
    @pamelabarone5868 Місяць тому +65

    I went through this for longer than I have hoped after alot of trauma. I was in a freeze. It was horrible

    • @Lesnicole29
      @Lesnicole29 Місяць тому +1

      What did you do to get through it?

    • @pamelabarone5868
      @pamelabarone5868 Місяць тому

      @@Lesnicole29 it took a while. It was caused by all outside factors one trauma one illness one death after another in the past 4 years. I was taking care of my whole family then I got sick. I stopped watching any negative social medial and television that is really important. Because it really can contribute. It got so bad for me it was all circumstances surrounding me. I was so frozen. I was trying everthing therapy with therapist and online. Be mindful of what you are putting in your body. I was drinking a pack of 4 little wine bottles atleast every other day because the anxiety got so bad the walls were closing in due to every thing around me with this covid. That was a terrible idea. I have adhd and when I moved from texas pa would not take my records giving me a terrible time to get medicated. They wanted to give me all types of stuff I said no. Thats all I need is being medicated and drugged I am the only able body person ex husband ill his parents have dementia and its a whole other story why I ended up here after start of covid that played a major part in this having to quit a job I loved put my dog to sleep. Anyway I learned a valuable lesson. Put yourself first, you cant help anyone else if you are falling apart. Set boundries with people that are causing grief. When you cant do something say no. Distance yourself from negative people. Get outside even if its sitting in a chair in your yard until you can exercize depends on how bad the freeze is. These are just a few. Pray. 🙏

    • @pamelabarone5868
      @pamelabarone5868 Місяць тому +1

      @@Lesnicole29 most importantly, please be kind to yourself. Try not to stay in this mindset its easier said than done. It can cause bad physical health. So many things are targeting our health now a days. We have to keep going. Its not right the things we have been put through no fault of our own the world is a strange place. The costs to my health are tremendous. I was always in good health up until the ohio train derailment I am 50 miles from the accident site. I dont like living here but my family is old sick and wont leave /so its hard. I am not v everyone else in my family is and are very ill. It angers me. After the ohio train derailment I got really sick. Something terrible with ears and throat. I was diag a year to the date of the train chemical burn off with something bad. Inhalation wise. I chose alternative treatment. I was a nurse and I havent really practiced in a while because I hated it. Patients are not treated right they are a number its evil. Please do what you can try to do. I got so tired of the groundhog day freeze I knew if I didnt change something, I was going to die and I want to live. 🙏

    • @zharahussain8004
      @zharahussain8004 Місяць тому

      ​@@pamelabarone5868which alternative treatment did you try? Are you working now? Much love ❤

    • @saintejeannedarc9460
      @saintejeannedarc9460 Місяць тому

      @@pamelabarone5868 I can understand something very traumatic you went through being a big trigger. If an accident site is 50 miles away though, that's a far distance. You don't ever have to see it, and it's probably pretty rare you need to drive that far to go past it.
      I wish I had that luxury. My big trauma was being cheated on, and the much younger girl my ex cheated w/ moved across the street from, just a few doors down, in order to make sure he came back to her. He did and is still w/ her. I too wish I could get away, but own the house I'm in and the depth of depression and the housing market made it so I couldn't get out. She's not moving, and I do my best to cope w/ it. My biggest trigger is seeing black trucks. That's what he drives and even though it's been over year, those darn trucks are a constant trigger that I don't know how to get past, because sometimes it's him, w/ her beside him.

  • @clarencehammer3556
    @clarencehammer3556 Місяць тому +54

    I live alone and am retired and am very inactive. So I have a lot of rumination going on. I am very isolated and don’t go out except rarely to take care of essential business. I needed to hear this message.

    • @rainbowgirljules
      @rainbowgirljules Місяць тому +5

      I really feel for you, Clarence. Sending you my warmest wishes. 🥲

    • @sweetest247
      @sweetest247 Місяць тому +5

      Yes!
      I do the exact same thing & I should know better because of my past professions.
      Some real BS I'm going thru & I'm stuck! Depression fatigue some physical pain... Not a lot. Sedentary life!
      4 years. If I do minimal w success like use restroom & going to bank & medical some stores if lucky...then wonder why daily I plan list note still nothing so I lay in bed & lazer focus on my PHONE!!!!! POISON! 😈
      Have I lost all my discipline?
      I mean I'm sooo tired & I do not want to come to life again by way of some crisis. Jesus & Mary help please 🙏 thanks doc Scott
      I'm awake til sun rises then about 16th hour of being awake I sleep but lucky to get 4 to 6... 6 is miracle for me. 😢help
      Dr Scott

    • @klanderkal
      @klanderkal Місяць тому +1

      I totally feel that pain. Ruminating, of my job, my friends and coworkers, it really was my life, everything else was so much fun too. Now, nothing is fun anymore. I don't do anything. I still cannot sleep... I call crisis lines alot. Depression is so unbearable.
      I didn't know, this could ever happen to me.
      Sorry for us... wish we could be happy somehow. 🙏🫶

    • @klanderkal
      @klanderkal Місяць тому +3

      @@sweetest247 Same here. I'm struggling so hard with this. I don't sleep for many day's straight. I don't like how Mt life is anymore. Depression is so unbearable. I ruminate on my mistake. I just want my job back, the life I had back. I miss all my coworkers and friends. My purpose and identity. ..... im never happy anymore. No motivation, interest to do anything..
      Hope we can somehow get better?

    • @mightymouse1005
      @mightymouse1005 Місяць тому +1

      That's exactly where I am. I work 13 hours a week still but, I live very rural, no neighbors or anyone around. I watch to much UA-cam and waste time

  • @steveos5112
    @steveos5112 Місяць тому +42

    You are saving my life. I lost my job of 25 years ago month ago. I am ruminating like crazy about my job loss. Lots of anxiety. Thank you for your help.

    • @Lesnicole29
      @Lesnicole29 Місяць тому

      Can you share what you are doing to help yourself?

    • @licksnkicks1166
      @licksnkicks1166 Місяць тому

      Yes pls. I lost my job after 14 years. The only thing I will miss is my benefits. The place was beyond toxic and made me physically ill!

    • @steveos5112
      @steveos5112 Місяць тому +2

      @@Lesnicole29 I turned to God and asked to released from my anxiety and grief. I also found a job all due to God as well. I’m not a nut case. I simply turned to God and he answered my prays.

  • @julieberns1474
    @julieberns1474 Місяць тому +36

    Scott- you literally have changed my life. I always would force myself to chill out and it NEVER worked. Mind blowing- AHHHH HA moment

  • @angelabenz315
    @angelabenz315 Місяць тому +38

    Damn. I’m floored. I’m almost speechless. Therapy for 30+ yrs. Countless books. Countless videos. This is something I have NEVER been able to budge. Not one single inch. So much healing but this is something that still rules me. Rules my days.
    I purposely try to remove stimulation to “relax” just like so many others and I feel guilty when I insert stimulation bc we’ve been told it means we are addicted to the stimulation in one way or another. I can’t tell you how this releases me from that feeling of shame that I *need* something to make my mind stop ruminating. The shame that I need it bc I can’t make it stop any other way. “Why can’t you just sit down?” “Why do you have to have some noise playing all the time?” “Can’t you just sit there and relax?”
    Right now it changes.
    Starting 5 minutes ago.
    Thank you

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Місяць тому +3

      Well there's a difference between *distraction & avoidance* ... If you're doing it too much/ maladaptively/ to avoid doing action steps, then it's avoidance. The problem will have to be addressed somehow.

    • @angelabenz315
      @angelabenz315 Місяць тому +4

      @@Heyu7her3In my case it’s not avoidance. It’s good, old fashioned can’t stop repeating it in my head. This approach is perfect for people like me who have already dealt with it but who now need to move past it and on to the next thing.

    • @lynnebailey6528
      @lynnebailey6528 Місяць тому

      Fantastic so happy for you!!!
      I got it too...its like 🎉 yay!!!!!!

    • @chrismullin8304
      @chrismullin8304 Місяць тому

      You are Awesome!

  • @noreallyihearyou837
    @noreallyihearyou837 Місяць тому +26

    My go to is often walks and exercise. But when I’m feeling like something with a low physical exertion quotient, I really like the type of concentration that an adult paint by numbers set offers. Cheap on Amazon and really satisfying.

    • @lauraparker396
      @lauraparker396 Місяць тому +1

      Me too! Amazing how absorbing they can be

  • @goingcrazee
    @goingcrazee Місяць тому +17

    This explains why a carefully-done housework task helps me when I'm trying to get something out of my head.

  • @greg9069
    @greg9069 Місяць тому +8

    I feel like my brain is submerged in a thick coating of self doubt, self hate, and anxiety. It’s yo the point where I physically feel sick and can’t process interactions or communication in real time. That I don’t even want to speak because whatever I’m going to say is the wrong thing, my conversations typically just discuss what the other person was talking about and they can tell his stuff and tense I feel so they leave asap. I just feel like I’m inferior to everyone when it comes to socializing, so I avoid it.

  • @boomeradvocate
    @boomeradvocate Місяць тому +14

    Very helpful advice! The ruminating tends to hit me at 4 a.m. nearly every night, when I wake up to go pee 😑.

  • @musestudio7075
    @musestudio7075 Місяць тому +39

    Scott, your videos are literally life-savers for me during an intensely difficult time of nonstop stress, change and much despair.
    Thanks for all the work, heart and sincerity you put into each and everyone of them. 🙏💜

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu Місяць тому +3

      He's changing me and I haven't even done anything he said yet, but am just thinking about it all. But my daily habits have already started changing by themselves.

    • @stevec404
      @stevec404 Місяць тому +5

      Same here.

    • @ssingh2985
      @ssingh2985 Місяць тому +3

      Same ❤. All the best on your journeys friends.

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu Місяць тому

      @@ssingh2985 And to you, thank you.

  • @Karlien68
    @Karlien68 Місяць тому +33

    4 years of terrible rumination about a horrible discard and betrayal. Exhausted of the recycling and the deep and sharp pain that goes with it.
    It almost feels like ptsd.
    Going to try these tips because I am hanging on by tooth and nail...

    • @ashleyen3
      @ashleyen3 Місяць тому +4

      I'll pray for you. I beleive we are all capable of healing. Just takes longer than we'd like sometimes😅!

    • @skippy7208
      @skippy7208 Місяць тому +4

      You might find Andrew Huberman’s video about therapeutic writing helpful. He explains a simple process which really works to clear the mind of rumination - once and for all 👍

    • @BestOffer-ii9ny
      @BestOffer-ii9ny Місяць тому

      Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

    • @sweetest247
      @sweetest247 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@BestOffer-ii9ny
      Wow
      What did you use?!

    • @sweetest247
      @sweetest247 Місяць тому

      I feel you

  • @blurrylights6344
    @blurrylights6344 Місяць тому +14

    Lucky for me, one of your videos popped up in my recommendations 2 days ago and have watched about 5 of them since! You come across as down to earth and authentic, some pretty good qualities! The advice is original, to me anyway and actionable (to steal a term from you).
    I started the celebration thing when I'm not doing what I need to do. And believe you me, I was celebrating the whole time I was cleaning my kitchen! It was very effective! Why didn't that ever occur to me? I don't care since I know it now! Edit: Oh, right...my frontal lobes aren't working so well when I'm in freeze. Got it!
    Thanks!

  • @JohnNathanShopper
    @JohnNathanShopper Місяць тому +8

    I get it! You’re saying keep busy to stave off anxiety. This is so spot on!

  • @carolyn-wu6xr
    @carolyn-wu6xr Місяць тому +19

    Acceptance, acceptance, acceptance-key!!

    • @Just.Another.Number
      @Just.Another.Number Місяць тому

      How true! The single act of accepting what is/was would do away with the majority of negative thoughts.

  • @MiketheNerdRanger
    @MiketheNerdRanger Місяць тому +5

    The only problem is when I try to occupy myself with something creative, perfectionism kicks in and then I'll ruminate on how I can't get anything done or push through frustration. I'm so tired of fighting myself all the time.

    • @brianhood8827
      @brianhood8827 20 днів тому

      Yep & perfectionism is a double edged sword

    • @MiketheNerdRanger
      @MiketheNerdRanger 20 днів тому

      @@brianhood8827 My point is that perfectionism, for me, is like a single-edged sword that I can't point away from me, nor can I escape it. I can't even do the things you're saying will help fix this problem of negative thinking because it only brings on more negative thoughts.

  • @milwaukeebuds
    @milwaukeebuds Місяць тому +5

    I think this explains why depression gets worse on weekends for me when in a depressive episode.

  • @ClandestineGirl16X
    @ClandestineGirl16X Місяць тому +17

    Thank you, Dr. Scott. I can't afford therapy right now, and your videos are helpful. Thank you from NYC

    • @D.A.E.504
      @D.A.E.504 Місяць тому

      Yes thank you so much I can't stop my brain from thinking at night

  • @PaulElmont-fd1xc
    @PaulElmont-fd1xc Місяць тому +2

    2:55 Thank you so much for saying that. One of the reasons I stopped going to therapy is because of being told to "just stop doing that. That's silly. Don't think that way. Just get over it." When I said that I can't stop thinking that way, I was always told, "Yes you can. You just won't. You don't try." Nice to finally here a professional acknowledge what I knew all along.

  • @CyndieAmala
    @CyndieAmala Місяць тому +12

    This is definitely an issue for me. Negative thoughts get stuck in a loop in my brain. So much so it's hard to even recall good memories. But I did find myself reminiscing about fun times recently that I hadn't thought about in years! I don't mind if those thoughts ruminate lol

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu Місяць тому +3

      Yes, agree. "Hard to even recall good memories." But as I was falling asleep last night, with my frownie face, I suddenly remembered him saying, in his 2024 goals, to remember a victory from the day, and I thought of a silly one and laughed.

    • @CyndieAmala
      @CyndieAmala Місяць тому +3

      @@FG-ie7cu that's great that you were able to do that 😊 I'm sure it felt good!

  • @A-md3uz
    @A-md3uz 19 днів тому

    I'm crying while I'm watching to this video. I have something that I'm ashamed of and it has been 4 months and I can't get it out of my mind. It starts right when I wake up until I'm exhausted by the end of the day. Thank you so much

  • @lynnebailey6528
    @lynnebailey6528 Місяць тому +5

    Oh blimey!!!
    It's common sense isn't it...fill your mind with high stimulation activity....less room for negative thoughts!!!
    Thank you.
    How come when l hear it from you it's like a light bulb goes on in my head?

  • @Yolduranduran
    @Yolduranduran Місяць тому +2

    SOMETIMES I DONT WANT TO WATCH THESE VIDEOS BECAUSE I WILL LIKELY HAVE TO FACE SOMETHING DIFFICULT. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE DIFFICULT ONES. GLAD I DID HEAR IT AS IT CAUSED ME TO TAKE ACTION. THANK YOU. 😊

  • @iowa_2
    @iowa_2 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you for making this content 😊 it’s so helpful. After months of navigating a difficult trauma, I found that filling out a day is helpful to keep my brain better occupied. It sometimes feels like a losing battle though, by doing nothing you’re exhausted, by trying to do things you’re exhausted. But it’s a different kind of tiredness when you’re doing stuff at least, one that feels more positive

  • @albertmarnell9976
    @albertmarnell9976 Місяць тому +5

    At their core, earworms are a form of rumination, and research suggests that people who suffer from anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder are more prone to earworms. “Their brains are wired to reflect and reflect and reflect,” Arthur says. Who's Arthur?

  • @pasemes
    @pasemes 18 днів тому +1

    Thanks for the video. I ruminated a lot during this night. After waking really early for me (5am) i couldnt sleep again. And the more i tried the more i ruminated. At 6:30am i got off the bed and started doing thing. I felt better instantaneously. I felt little strange to do that (do things to forget the ruminations in my mind), but now after your video it makes so sense.

  • @SharonKBM
    @SharonKBM Місяць тому +3

    Thank you. This is incredibly helpful. I often ruminate at night when I can't sleep and sometimes I simply can't stop. I keep telling myself to think of other things but it never works and I always wondered why. Your explanation makes a lot of sense and helps me understand things better.

  • @jairschirmer9867
    @jairschirmer9867 Місяць тому +8

    makes sense. But this goes against everything I did in my life (40 and depressed). Maybe I was rebelling against my father, he plays cards with friends every day, watch games to pass time, never really stay alone in his mind. I thought the inverse would be ideal, following budhism, be present, etc. living too much in my own world in my mind, solo games, tv.
    Now you really made me think... I'll try to do it, be more active, find a hobby

    • @littlesometin
      @littlesometin Місяць тому +2

      Same, I feel like this Western version of pop buddhism can really have a counter effect on mental health.

    • @AlfredBrown-rk8se
      @AlfredBrown-rk8se Місяць тому

      I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years.
      With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean.
      Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms

    • @popescumanuela928
      @popescumanuela928 Місяць тому

      From where did you buy it?

  • @abigailboyd2534
    @abigailboyd2534 Місяць тому +3

    Thank you so much. This is me, if something upsets me and it’s related to something important, I find I’m disoriented so much I need to rest flat. But a few minutes later I have an overwhelming need to jump up because my mind won’t calm down.
    PS while I was writing this you actually described what happened to me two days ago!! 😳🤗

  • @ramenaddict1676
    @ramenaddict1676 Місяць тому +9

    I'm surprised but at the same time im not surprised at myself.

  • @brianhawkins
    @brianhawkins Місяць тому +4

    Makes sense, but what do you do when you have so little energy that all you can do is mindlessly scroll UA-cam?

  • @cs-yq5ed
    @cs-yq5ed Місяць тому +6

    This makes so much sense. Thank you, Doctor!

  • @edwardulikowski5306
    @edwardulikowski5306 Місяць тому +1

    Dr. Scott, I just want to tell you that I have struggled my whole life with Anxiety/Depression and have had periods in my life where I have gone to Therapy and while I did get something out of them I actually understand things so much better with your explanations, so, Please keep doing your Video’s because they are very much needed. Thank you, Cindy in Ohio will keep watching😊

  • @dontpanicchild
    @dontpanicchild Місяць тому +16

    This is really hard to balance. I guess I have low energy and I get very tired from work, so I'm always looking forward to my breaks and weekends and in the end, I often end up just feeling bad during that time and ruminating and feeling depressed and triggered. At the same time, when I keep myself busy, I feel tired too, I feel restless, like I can't stop. I usually work on weekends too, and bake and cook a lot and clean a lot, and I feel like I need to be constantly doing something. I have no ability to just chill and relax. It's exhausting. I haven't found a good way to deal with this.

    • @carmenM-ey6qy
      @carmenM-ey6qy Місяць тому +1

      Have you tried nature, hiking for example?

    • @susanmorgan4151
      @susanmorgan4151 29 днів тому

      Are you on an antidepressant?❤

  • @christopherwall444
    @christopherwall444 Місяць тому

    I've watched 3 of these video's from this gentleman and consider me subscribed...speaks simply and intelligently right on my mental health rn....actually helping

  • @ParisFitnessj
    @ParisFitnessj 3 дні тому

    Great video.
    To anyone
    Reading this .
    We deserve to feel love
    Especially by ourselves.
    Everything is and will ok.
    We are all in this together sending love.

  • @Jelena_85
    @Jelena_85 Місяць тому

    I am so thankful I found you. I just finished my therapy appointment and then watched your video as part of my therapy process and it is helping tremendously. Thank you again! 🙏🏻

  • @fredphipps9452
    @fredphipps9452 Місяць тому +1

    Thanks for this guidance. I've spent far too much of my life doing nothing in response to negative past rumination

  • @Selenesparkles
    @Selenesparkles Місяць тому +1

    The sleep analogy is AWESOME!!! So true and wise!

  • @homiekeen23
    @homiekeen23 Місяць тому +4

    I did this for a while, and it does work! . But how is this not avoiding/suppressing?
    My issue is I became fanatically scared of any possible free/rest time. If I'm outside and see my phone close to dying I seriously panic and start shaking and getting dizzy and flashbacks of all the negative thoughts I've been "avoiding/distracting" and fearing them getting to me when I have nothing on hand for a few minutes. AND YOU KNOW WELL that in just one minute you could already go through tens of crazy thoughts and ideas or even get to a "rock bottom" you've been avoiding/suppressing

  • @KD-kp3zc
    @KD-kp3zc Місяць тому +6

    This is a great video, very helpful. All of this makes a lot of sense. I hate when people tell me to calm down or not worry.

    • @DrScottEilers
      @DrScottEilers  Місяць тому +4

      I just recorded a video on that 😃

    • @KD-kp3zc
      @KD-kp3zc Місяць тому

      @@DrScottEilers Great, thank you so much! I can't wait to watch it!

  • @baeconater8
    @baeconater8 Місяць тому

    The best channel I have found in years! Thank you so much

  • @dontarguewithidiots7459
    @dontarguewithidiots7459 Місяць тому +1

    Just discovered your channel and wow.. you're great. Intelligent, well informed, great an explaining things.

  • @Thomas-jl3gn
    @Thomas-jl3gn Місяць тому +4

    This helped more than I can express.
    Thank you.

  • @jenniferdiffenbaugh8329
    @jenniferdiffenbaugh8329 Місяць тому +2

    Ohmygosh.... .
    I understand what you are saying. That makes so much sense. Thankyou, I needed that!

  • @nanopug
    @nanopug Місяць тому +2

    Thats why I enjoy cooking, its a period of time I needs to focus and rarely ruminating

  • @user-vw5tk3vb1r
    @user-vw5tk3vb1r Місяць тому +10

    Please forgive me if I spell this wrong, but this "rumonation" should be called "the quicksand theory." The harder you fight, the more you sink.

    • @klanderkal
      @klanderkal Місяць тому

      Yes,... I agree. It really is quicksand! I made a horrible mistake,.. I retired.. I tried to return because I regret 5 days after,... but I was too late to return. I ruminate my mistake all the time.... it's quicksand.

    • @user-vw5tk3vb1r
      @user-vw5tk3vb1r Місяць тому

      @@klanderkal I'm sorry to hear that. In the moment a situation always sucks, but I have found that if, somehow, you are able to step outside of yourself and look at the situation as if it's happening to somebody else, (I'm not saying be twisted and wish it on somebody else lol,) I've found it, at least a little bit, easier to assess it. I'm sorry if that doesn't help here, but I always think everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we just have to dig for the answers. Things WILL get better, if you allow them to. Good luck. 😉

    • @klanderkal
      @klanderkal Місяць тому +1

      @user-vw5tk3vb1r wow,.. that's a great way to look at it... maybe that might help me,... I will try. I really need to step out of myself. I've been dwelling on the negative aspects of everything. My life really was impacted negatively, its caused my health to decline rapidly. I never wanted to retire.... it wasn't supposed to happen. But, that's why I stressed too hard , desperately trying to stop the process.... its like I'm in shock. Thank you for helping me. 🙏💕💐

    • @user-vw5tk3vb1r
      @user-vw5tk3vb1r Місяць тому +1

      @@klanderkal it means a lot for you to say I helped you. And trust me, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I lost literally EVERYTHING this past December. I won't go into detail, but since then, I've been going thru the WORST hell of my life. Now I'm struggling to find a job, and literally had to start over from brick number 1. My point is, I know exactly how you feel with the negative aspects. And I have nobody. But again, things happen for a reason, and they ARE about to get better for us.

    • @zharahussain8004
      @zharahussain8004 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@klanderkalyou're both wonderful much love for the beautiful comments 🪻

  • @amariev226
    @amariev226 Місяць тому +2

    Yes this is exactly what I do. The worst though, is when the rumination happens when I try to go to sleep. You are REALLY good at these explanations and motivating me to make behavioral changes.

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Місяць тому

      Melatonin helps with insomnia... no matter what you're stuck thinking about, the chemical will induce your body to fall asleep.

  • @FG-ie7cu
    @FG-ie7cu Місяць тому +17

    A lot to think about here. Some of us have spent years training to clear our lives, hearts, and minds in order to make room for the Divine. But I think a lot of people who have cleared this space are now struggling with "intrusive thoughts," and I suspect much of that comes from the internet. (It doesn't, for instance, usually come from being out in nature.) So to think of reversing the process, filling the mind back up in order to close out intrusive thoughts . . . is undoing a lot of work previously done. But some of us, perhaps, went seeking one channel and crossed over onto another by mistake and need to get rid of it. "Your mind is a cupboard and you stock the shelves" has always been a favorite quote, but sometimes there's a little imp in the pantry knocking cans off the shelf and making rude suggestions. So put in more boxes of Wheaties to crowd him out. (or learn to set mousetraps?) Thank you for this. : -)

  • @sun-man
    @sun-man 27 днів тому

    This is gold. Thank you.

  • @agymayachelonia8381
    @agymayachelonia8381 Місяць тому

    I'm so glad you addressed this and the fact it's not about being a workaholic. Thank you!!!

  • @bonnacon1610
    @bonnacon1610 Місяць тому +14

    "The Devil finds work for idle hands" (and idle minds). Rest and relaxation means that your Default Mode Network can rule the roost. Cue all the nasty stuff: rumination, fretting, Internal Judge Judy etc as your internal world, and all that has shaped it, takes over and fills the space. The answer to this insidious internal bully? Focus on something: that's why playing games (like card games, board games, jigsaws, bowls, Mah Jong etc) is intrinsic to humans' mental health. Or focus on something more high-quality. Whatever - it must be demanding enough to displace the anxiety, because FOCUS is Anxiety's mortal enemy.

  • @mariaconklin8247
    @mariaconklin8247 Місяць тому +1

    I found that meditation, any way I can, stops that rumination. I'm working to change my subconscious mind so I don't have these old tapes that keep coming back and sabotage what I'm doing. so I make myself meditate with soft music. my mom used to tell me your brain can only think of one thought at a time. therefore make it a good one. or find a paragraph in a book and read that over and over. anything to stay away from old tapes ( self defeating thoughts)that bring you down. you have to police your thoughts. it's a lot of work at first, but soon you'll notice a difference. it's working too.

  • @glennagoss7335
    @glennagoss7335 Місяць тому +1

    I needed this. Thank you. It helps so much.

  • @PaigeCue
    @PaigeCue Місяць тому +2

    You actually save lives. Thank you.

  • @jayduke8554
    @jayduke8554 Місяць тому

    You sooooo hit the point, nail the issue or say what’s helpful based upon experience soooo often. Thank you for your time 😊

  • @pickledherring8759
    @pickledherring8759 Місяць тому +9

    Boy, how timely! I just had an episode of rumination in the middle of the night. I know a lot of experts say you should get up and go into another room and read or something, but I"'m afraid if I do that, I won't be able to back to sleep anyway, due to having to use lights to see. I did a countdown "meditation," but it didn't work and I eventually just laid there til I fell asleep again. I wonder what you recommend for this scenario.
    As for daytime rumination, I know in times of boredom, those thoughts can start creeping in, so I try to do some type of activity to avoid it. Thanks, Scott.🙂

    • @juliz2500
      @juliz2500 Місяць тому +1

      Tapping helps me when I wake up in the middle of the night. I can just lie there in the dark and after 3 rounds of tapping I'm usually calm enough to go back to sleep.

    • @Zar2244
      @Zar2244 Місяць тому

      ​@@juliz2500great idea

  • @andrewjaramillo
    @andrewjaramillo Місяць тому +4

    I tend to isolate and I ruminate quite a lot. I need to keep my mind occupied.😏👍

  • @pandorajames1568
    @pandorajames1568 20 днів тому

    Yes!!!Thank you this is a great reminder. Sop grateful for sharing.

  • @steelearmstrong9616
    @steelearmstrong9616 26 днів тому +1

    I think about death every single day always reminding myself that Tomorrow is not promised and that tomorrow does not exist, now is all we have. In the end nothing matters. We are all winging it and we are all on the same sinking boat that inevitably ends I tragedy. Once you are dead you are dead and that’s that. No more pain, worrying and suffering

  • @mariusd7803
    @mariusd7803 Місяць тому +1

    Scott, you always pull me out when I’m falling into the “shit pit” of my mind! Keep up the good work! 👍

  • @akousticbuddha
    @akousticbuddha 24 дні тому

    This is what I needed Doctor. You deserve millions of views. I hope your channel grows more popular every day. 🙏🏿

  • @AmandaMG6
    @AmandaMG6 Місяць тому +2

    Thx for this. Nailed one of my main issues. Also - creating priorities in free time

  • @nedsantos1415
    @nedsantos1415 Місяць тому +1

    I love the advice and personal experiences you share. Thank you,, Dr. Eiler.
    Also, thank you for the summaries with timestamps.

  • @js_guyman
    @js_guyman 29 днів тому

    One of the best videos of the century. Honestly. I wish all content were of this intellectual caliber.

  • @harmony331000
    @harmony331000 Місяць тому

    I’m new here but so far I really like what you’re doing & saying on your channel. I appreciate your time & advice , it is greatly needed in my life right now & you’ve already given me knowledge & hope! Thank you!

  • @lisamiller4833
    @lisamiller4833 Місяць тому

    Thanks for explaining this. Didn't realise that I do do this. I'll be following your suggestions!

  • @mapleleaf902
    @mapleleaf902 Місяць тому

    This is just what I needed to turn off the ruminating. Great examples. Thank you!

  • @brushstroke3733
    @brushstroke3733 22 дні тому

    I've discovered that no matter how much I think about reasons to give up drinking, smoking, and toking, I will end up doing them if that's what is going to happen. Thinking about it for hours before I eventually give in and imbibe doesn't change anything. This video may help me if i can manage to make myself do things I believe I should be doing.

  • @storzbickel4328
    @storzbickel4328 Місяць тому +1

    Good stuff. Def types of meditation would have been good to add to this. Overall something like running or weight lifting will be better for most people. But the patterns that lead to rumination can be lessened greatly with a meditation practice, watching the thoughts of rumination or whatever may come just arise and fall away and continue putting attention back on the breath or sounds or whatever can really start to hammer home that these are just merely thoughts, and they won't last, and over time greatly reducing the amount they occur and affect you. There are still people that perhaps have an intense mental health issue that this alone won't heal them completely, but most likely either would staying active.
    My brain often gets overworked throughout the day and atleast once or twice a day I need to stop what I'm doing anywhere from 1-10 minutes and just watch the absolute anarchy of thoughts in my head turn to calm tranquil waters, don't even do anything in particular, just disengage with activity and everything calms down, anger goes out the window, and peace fills me. There's nuances to all this kind of info. Like he said, don't always go, go, go and don't sit around binging TV shows, find your balance.

  • @MindfulDoodles-nl9oy
    @MindfulDoodles-nl9oy Місяць тому +1

    This video came at the right time. Appreciate your insight and channel. So much better than therapy 💯

  • @kavitasodhi9119
    @kavitasodhi9119 Місяць тому

    Just what I needed, thank you

  • @niagratang667
    @niagratang667 Місяць тому

    Thank you for this timely instruction! I was getting lost in a very aggressive OCD spiral, and this helped me TONS!

  • @D.A.E.504
    @D.A.E.504 Місяць тому

    Thank you for taking the time and talking to all of us I enjoy your Channel

  • @wellallrightthen
    @wellallrightthen Місяць тому

    I really needed to hear this. Thank you

  • @daisy-wx7ro
    @daisy-wx7ro Місяць тому

    Thank you so much as always! Great help for me, much neaded topic surprisingly!!!

  • @Funny4450
    @Funny4450 Місяць тому

    THANKS, Doc. Dealing with this right now, as I was laid off from my job in February.

  • @peterneumann7145
    @peterneumann7145 Місяць тому

    Thank you . Sound advice.

  • @aspensulphate
    @aspensulphate Місяць тому +1

    The fact that there are many people adept in the practice of meditation undermines your premise that this is a universal Human problem.

  • @jojodaisy4
    @jojodaisy4 Місяць тому

    Very helpful easily understood and practical. Much appreciated

  • @MarciaB12
    @MarciaB12 Місяць тому +1

    This was so helpful, thank you. I was blaming myself, now I dont have to. I just have to do something engaging.

  • @dianerios7690
    @dianerios7690 Місяць тому

    I really love your channel thank you!!!!

  • @straykidsrussub8014
    @straykidsrussub8014 27 днів тому +1

    Thank you sooooo much for this video❤

  • @evelien2002
    @evelien2002 Місяць тому

    What a great video, just what I needed to hear right now. Thank you ❤

  • @Cocoanutty0
    @Cocoanutty0 Місяць тому +7

    My therapist interrogated me when I said I was spending this time off of grad school resting. He asked what that meant, and why.
    I don’t see him anymore, mostly due to financial reasons, but this line of questioning really bothered me. I wish therapists would say what they actually know, like you share these things with us on your channel. Instead of feeling like I’m lazy or doing something wrong, I can now understand why resting might have been worse for my mental health despite it being commonly recommended. It’s not my fault, I made the best decision with the i formation I had. I’m so grateful for your channel for helping me learn new information so I can make better choices.

  • @kambrose1549
    @kambrose1549 Місяць тому +1

    Thankyou! I have been making this exact mistake!

  • @ginikay435
    @ginikay435 Місяць тому

    Thank you so much for this video. My instinct is always to do less and rest when I’m feeling low, which makes rumination worse. Engaging in activities that require a lot of mental energy would have never crossed my mind, it’s a novel concept to me that I’ve not heard recommended before. It makes a lot of sense and I’m going to give it a try!

  • @ErinLady85
    @ErinLady85 Місяць тому +7

    my issue is that it's really really hard for activities like reading or painting to take over the rumination...if I am in a state of rumination the thought will likely ruin the activity and make me quit to just slack off on watching UA-cam which seems the only thing that gives me some break from negativity... also trying to get myself out of the situation (looking for a job) it's almost physically painful despite being high concentration... it feels almost like physical pain. sorry for the rant but maybe you could expand on how to manage negative thoughts when one's mind seems to refuse to focus on anything precisely because (or despite of) intense activities could be a good topic.

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu Місяць тому

      I crash onto hours of youtube, tumblr, and ebay, too, and give thanks for them for pulling me through many tough times. Lately, though, I made up my own nickname for negative people and negative thoughts. I call them Negatino. When a bad thought intrudes, I say out loud, "Negatino! Go away!" Or when someone is rude to me, inside I think, "A Negatino! I cast you out of my life," and I do my best to pour peace on the situation and to never initiate contact with that person again. Who needs more Negatinos? We have a super-abundance of them already. I pitch them out and don't look back. Tons of people and things willing to bring you down. Better to walk alone, even if you can never find the Positinos.

    • @careliakuhn2281
      @careliakuhn2281 Місяць тому +2

      I can paint but still sit in ruminating, so it became exhausting to concentrate, was wondering the same thing ❤

  • @atombombtom8615
    @atombombtom8615 Місяць тому

    Thanks Dr. Ellers...good to know our old friend R Crumb had it right the whole time...KEEP ON TRUCKIN"! Subscribed.

  • @sburns2421
    @sburns2421 Місяць тому

    This is wonderful advice.
    In hindsight I should have realized this from past experiences as I have done both and recognized the benefits.
    My job a few years ago had really two parts: one that required very little cognitive concentration (mostly muscle memory and years of experience), and one that was very meticulous and required 100% concentration. When my mother was dying, in the evenings I intentionally brought the latter home and would work until bed just to avoid thinking about the uncertain but certainly unpleasant events that were unfolding with the end of her life. This went on for several months as her cancer progressed. I certainly got ahead at work!

  • @deborahburrows3282
    @deborahburrows3282 Місяць тому

    Fantastic thankyou

  • @hugobranca
    @hugobranca 22 дні тому

    Never would I have thought I would find a youtube clip that describes my whole existence. Thanks.

  • @bobv8219
    @bobv8219 Місяць тому +1

    Walking is my release but mostly in nature and not around others so as to not be distracted.

  • @tnurkka
    @tnurkka Місяць тому

    Thank you for this very informative video! 💯

  • @unknwn7909
    @unknwn7909 Місяць тому

    The only thing that I can do right now that actually stimulates my brain and makes the feeling of overwhelming disappear is listening to your videos ❤

  • @southlondon86
    @southlondon86 Місяць тому

    Sir your advice is always incredibly helpful. You really do deserve far more views.

  • @Chatbot121
    @Chatbot121 Місяць тому

    Great info in this one. Just what I needed