I used to have a chronic fear of flying. Then I saw a slogan for a parachute school that said "Knowledge dispels fear". I applied this to flying, sat down and tried to learn everything I could about flying and aviation. Flying is now my greatest passion in life and I am training to be a pilot. Knowledge DOES dispel fear.
Solution 11:13 1. 5 second rule - countdown from 5 seconds 2. Anchor thought - create a contextual thought to keep you focused 3. Reframe thought from fear to excitement My extra tip: fear dishonors yourself and your self esteem. Keep confronting fear head on. Practice will help you relearn a healthier habit. Live a life free of self limits.
Princess: Your extra tip is very wise and beautifully formulated. If we let our fear determine or define our lives we really are its slave. But if we challenge and face our fears eye to eye, then we are free.
I don’t know if this will always work because ...some of the more everyday things that you’re fearful of aren’t very exciting! or something to look forward to. Like if you have a few people coming to the house to do a job for you. Your anchor thought is I’m excited to get the job done but I don’t really I’m not excited about trades people coming to my house so what about that. I find it difficult with people I don’t know around my own own space and get very anxious about heaps of just normal things unfortunately
@@annab5961 i think for that, simply trade fear and excitement with anxiousness and anticipation. think about it, anxiousness is just a low key form of fear where, instead of absolute dread, you're just, quietly roasting yourself with a pessimistic awaiting of what's to come. so what's the opposite? anticipation, quietly building yourself UP with a optimistic outlook of what's to come! try it, bet you'll be surprised!
I was fearing to go to a new job and having to start over and relearn everything from what I was used to , until I saw this video. I’ve turned that fear into excitement ! I’m ready to start a new beginning. I’m ready to face something unfamiliar. Why be afraid brain? Be excited about this ! 😮🎉
I have a fear of people judging me even though I get along with pretty much everybody. Sometimes when I talk to people, when they make facial expressions, my mind automatically goes into "this person is thinking I'm an idiot" thoughts.
How do you know that they are judging you this is mind reading thoughts The problem is that you think of yourself that you are an idiot The problem is this if you think good about yourself then no matter what other people are thinking
+brad zatar bc it's a gimmick and it's not true. The chemicals released in your brain are different with fear or excitement. That's why they feel totally different. Anticipation of sex feels different than someone car jacking you. That's why you're not thinking "fight or flight" when you're a about to have sex. It's just sad that this many ppl are lost enough to believe this. It may help some ppl. But it's no solution. It's a psychological band aid basically.
I have been seen as clueless, empty-brian and stupid by people who seemed to respect me for what they knew about me, thanks to fear. I hope this would help me.
A few months ago I had the epiphany that every time I was so scared to do something, for example driving is one, I have actually always survived! I now try to be thankful and acknowledge the moments each day that scare me and I survive, and I feel stronger after each challenge.
Yeah, fear keeps you alert and enables you to survive. One of the things you don't get frightened by is likely to be what will kill you, out of the blue. Healthy fear keeps you alive.
That's really powerful to read & thank you. I loved driving & 9 years ago, fear took over & and Satan stole my liberty by making me fearful of driving my car. I so want to overcome this. Maybe I'll get another car & create a new beginning combined with what has been advised in this post. Any positivity is welcome 🙏
The whole point of what Mel is saying, is this., Your brain can only have one linear thought at once. A fear comes from the creative, right side of your brain. It thinks it can predict an outcome and dwells on that outcome. Obsessive thinking. By counting down from 5, you are instantaneously accessing the logical left side of your brain. Breaking the obsessive thought. Think of a hysterical person getting a glass of water thrown in their face and being told to, Snap out of it! In a less shocking way, counting down from 5 has the same affect. If you are not getting it with the countdown, try this experiment. The next time you find yourself feeling anxious or fearful, do the math. Randomly pick 4 or 5 multiplication or division problems and calmly do them in your head. No one has to know. 6x8=48, 9x7=63, 24/3=8 etc. Accessing your left brain detaches you from obsessive thoughts. The second part is Instantly think of the future positively. Ex. Fear of flying. After doing your math, in detail think of everything you are going to do when the plane lands. I'm going to get my bags, get the car, drive to my destination, greet friends and family, or check in hotel, grab a pina colada, sit on a beach chair and watch the sunset... Now tell me. After reading all that I just wrote. How often did you think of the fear? If it's still there. Add some of your senses. See the smile of friends or family, taste the icy cold pineapple and rum sliding down your throat, the sand between your toes...get as descriptive as possible. Rinse and repeat.
John Vas This is great advice, thank you! I get these panic attacks when my daughter (19) goes out partying, it's time for her to call and say she's on her way back (around 3am) but she doesn't call. It could only be 5 minutes, but during those 5 minutes I start shaking and sweating, my heart races, my stomach starts acting up and sends me to the bathroom immediately and I can't stop thinking something happened to her. How can I apply all these recommendations when I live in a dangerous city - Bogota (Colombia) and my mind is "certain" something must have happened? Help please! I'm driving my daughter crazy!
I watched this video a year ago and following Mel’s advice I lost my fear of travelling alone, i traveled and now live in a different part of the country and I’m so happy. Now I’m about to start my own business and I am experiencing that same fear as one year ago. Completely forgot about this video and it just popped up at the perfect time. Thank you so much for helping me in my journey to a new life. ❤️❤️❤️
Blucat. Youre not giving yourself credit for your ability to face your fears. Unless you were born into money., you seem to have been able to afford yourself a comfortable livin enough to travel. To get where you are w/o being a trust fund baby means fear at some time, was not an option.
As a human living with anxiety/depression and several other issues, I've learned that I thrive and in a higher state of happiness when I have "something to look forward to." Even when I'm not thinking about that "something," I'm still in a generally better mood and can accomplish more. So this makes perfect sense to me.
1. 5 second rule - countdown from 5 seconds 2. Anchor thought - create a contextual thought to keep you focused 3. Reframe thought from fear to excitement
Thank you for the 5 second rule....it have literally changed my life. I have been using it for the past 6 months , testing it on things I have never been able to conquer and trying to make the rule fail. It has never.....never failed. I am in control on my life, I do things that I never even would have tried a year ago. I don’t procrastinate any more, I don’t say no to things I have never tried, I just forge ahead as if I have done them a million times. The sad part to this is I am 68 years old and it took me all this time to find out about the 5 second rule. Think what I could have achieved if I had known it at 25?? But nothing will stop me now...I’ll just need to make up for lost time. Again Thank You. You have made a difference in my life for the best. I now control my life not let other people or situations control it. You’re the Best!!
So glad for you! When God comes to take His children home, we will have eternity to do and enjoy ALL things we can't even imagine now. This is my anchor thought! We will even get to explore this Earth that we were born in! Thank You, my Father God!
Hi baby how are you doing now i hope you are really doing good you are awesome looking at you baby makes happy when I look at your picture it is beyond my imagination that a creature like you really exist like a rose you make the garden so beautiful You are a diamond to any man that have eyes to see goodness of a womanhood Baby am Ben easy going person very understandable Am a civil engineer and a contractor I work at so many places like Asia Europe and Africa I love art craft and I write music I like ideal people when I see your picture am impress I want a good woman that understand what real love is all about who will understand me and perfectly be for me So we can build our world strong enough to care for each other I want you to be mine and I hope to hear from you soonest thanks
OMG! I am literally crying because I just used your technique and it actually worked. Me and my mom we’re thinking that I was having panic attacks or developing anxiety but we didn’t know from what. I’ve been sick from school for nine days and I’ve been nervous about going back and I don’t know why and I found your video and I tried your technique and it’s a miracle. Thank you!
In my very first time flying, the plane went thru turbulence in the clouds. I started thinking it's fun, like a rollercoaster ride and enjoyed it instead of being fearful.
Had anxiety for years, got to the point where it is so exausting to do everyday things. This is so good, one video that actually helps. Thank u Mel tons...genious stuff.
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I can’t sit in a quiet car, cinema, classroom, just any quiet place because I get so anxious of my stomach making noises…sounds weird ik, but it has ruined so much for me and I’m so exhausted of it. Starting school soon and I just don’t want to feel the anxiety of my stomach making noises 24/7…
This isn't saying to 'calm down'. You should still feel shaky, sweaty, tense etc. But If you can find a reason to be excited instead of anxious, your mind will accept it because your body is already in that physical state.
Once my dad and I were in Vietnam. These scooter taxi dudes were harassing us to tack a ride with them. I was a little pissed off and told him it wasn't going to happen. He started screaming " you calm down, you calm down "in a thick vietnamese accent. My dad and I started laughing, it was so ironic and filled with passionate comedy, that we ended up getting a ride with them. Nowadays it's a family joke between us that if either of us start getting testie we are reminded in vietnamese accent to " you calm down!".
Im 16 years old going on 17 , never, ever in my life, have i ever met someone as talented and smart as you, i had social anxiety before, but i have been better, and im making progress, now that i learnt from you, i can be even more better, and overcome my fears and negative thoughts, Thank you.
I can’t thank you enough. I was terrified of doing a speech in front of my colleagues yesterday and nothing was helping me. I felt completely revved up and afraid. It was horrible. I then listened to your advice and kept saying to myself that what I was feeling was excitement, not fear and that’s when I even started smiling as beforehand I was withdrawing and wanted to run away. I did really well in my speech. I kept on chatting and smiling with my colleagues beforehand so by the time I needed to present, I was nowhere near as revved up as I thought I was going to be. Thank you so much. ❤
Tony, I have dealt with social fear most of my life. I have found that using my body, AKA, exercise and hard physical work help to calm me down. Also , right now I am working with a hypnotherapist on creating positive outcome images in my mind. Good luck,,, I feel that we are here to learn lessons and to grow and become better people,, AKA, learning to love oneself and others as well. Bill
@@billp4380 b.s. I'v been having this for 30 year now. Together with depression. It's the point in the same part of the brain that is not right. You can love all you want to, it will not help you one bit when you have this. And I've been living with it for 30 years. I've had every therapy and treatment known to man. And it didn t help me one bit. Just trying to life with it.
I swear to god this is the most important video I’d ever watch. I went from being afraid of talking to my crush to being excited to talk to my crush. You changed my life.
I can't believe how much this worked for me!! I was able to speak in front of a group of people at my child's school, I have always struggled with public speaking so this was a big deal for me and I am so grateful to have come across this video.
Hi. I have been dealing fear issue for six years, I couldn't fly because of fear. I was praying and asking Lord to help me. Just now found your video overcoming fear. I m so excited, I am gonna travel soon. God bless you
im gonna try this with driving, i get so nervous and my heart rate gets up to 160 bpm which is crazy! but i always had that vision of going to my favorite places in town and be fully present and so grateful for this little ride. wish me luck
I used to feel the same few years ago but had made a lot of progress. You should watch some youtube videos: How to overcome the fear of driving. Good luck!
How are you doing, I'm currently afraid of driving right now. Don't know what exactly triggered it but I'm not exactly happy about it. I feel like it's affecting my everyday life.
@@natnatalie1517 I’m still trying to get better, thank you for asking! But the best strategies i found so far is to drive at off-peak hours since it will give you the freedom to drive with very few cars around. I also just found out that i have caffeine sensitivity which makes my symptoms and my anxiety so much worse when driving so i must avoid it at all cost. And i keep taking very short trips at least once a week as an “exposure therapy” and it actually boosts my confidence every time. I’m not sure if my fear is due to a past event, but what I’m sure about is my main fear of driving with cars around, i get very self conscious when i see how they’re illegally over-speeding while i’m driving just at the speed limit or a bit less and I get scared of making them mad because I’m driving “slow”. I know I’m doing everything right and i shouldn’t be too stressed out like that, maybe i need to be conscious of my negative self talk or my inner thoughts in general. I hope we will overcome it this year! Let me know for any updates, i would love to share our progress every now and then.
@@zouzoufilghorba2150 I hope you're doing oka now - Im facing a similar situation - it's partly PTSD from a panic attack I got on a Highway once three years ago. Have not driven on an open road since.
I have been a therapist for many years and have found this technique to be the most effective for my own anxiety whether flying or giving a presentation to a group of community leaders.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.larks I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
I wouldn't say you fear everything or certain type of thing. I think being in your 70s plus you paid your dues growing up. You did what your body was able to but now you're older and know your limits. That's why ppl retire is to live their best moments. Your not in your teens or even 40s anymore. I know the feeling. I know my limits my body or the law will let me get away with lol.
🌸 Summary: 1. 5 Second Rule ( to disturb your mind and change the focus from fear to the anchor thought) 2. Anchor Thought ( an image that makes you excited about what will happen after you do the thing that you're gonna do) 3. Reframe fear into excitement ( and this happens directly after applying step number 2)
THE GOSPEL OF THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD "the last age in which God saves man from the destruction of this old world" "WHAT is the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS?". ... (The so-called "influence of darkness" is the influence of Satan's deception, corruption, bondage, and control over people; Satan's influence is an influence that threatens death. How can you escape from the influence of darkness after can you have faith in God? When you pray sincerely to God, you turn your heart completely to Him, and at this point the Spirit of God touches your heart. If people cannot put into practice the words of God, if they are always trying to deceive Him, acting indifferent to Him, and not believing in His existence--all these people are living under the influence of darkness. Those who are not liberated, who are always controlled by some things, and are unable to give their hearts to God those who are under the bondage of Satan who live with imminent death. Those who are careless and not serious in their practice of truth, and do not seek to meet the will of God, instead only seeking to satisfy their own flesh, are also people living under the influence of darkness, shrouded by death. All those who cannot sincerely love God, who do not seek to attain the truth, and who do not focus on changing their dispositions are people who live under the influence of darkness.) The Almighty said The SO-CALLED "influence of darkness" is the INFLUENCE of DECEPTION, CORRUPTION, BANDAGE, and CONTROL of SATAN on PEOPLE; SATAN'S INFLUENCE is an INFLUENCE that heralds DEATH. ☀️😪 ALL WHO LIVE UNDER SATAN'S COVERAGE WILL CERTAINLY DIE. ☀️ HOW CAN YOU ESCAPE from the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS AFTER YOU HAVE FAITH in GOD? When you PRAY SINCERELY to GOD, you TURN YOUR HEART COMPLETELY to Him, and at this point GOD'S SPIRIT TOUCHES your HEART.🙏 You become READY to GIVE YOURSELF COMPLETELY to Him, and at this MOMENT, you have ESCAPED from the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. If EVERYTHING a MAN does is that which PLEASES GOD and is in ACCORDANCE with His REQUESTS, he is a MAN WHO LIVES by His WORDS of GOD and UNDER His CARE and PROTECTION. ☀️🙏 If people can't put God's words into practice, if they always try to deceive Him, act without enthusiasm for Him, and don't believe in His existence---all these people are living under the influence of of darkness ☀️ People who have not received God's salvation live under Satan's control; that is, they all live under the influence of darkness. Those who do not believe in God live under Satan's domain: Even those who believe in the existence of God may not be living in His light, because those who believe in Him may not really live according to His words nor be able to submit to God. ☀️ Man is limited in believing in God, and because he knows nothing about God, he still lives according to old rules, in empty words, in a life that is dark and uncertain, without being completely purified by God nor did He fully possess it. In fact, although it goes without saying that those who believe in God may still be under its influence, because they do not have the work of the Holy Spirit. ☀️ Those who have NOT RECEIVED GOD'S GRACE or MERCY and those who CANNOT SEE the WORK of the HOLY SPIRIT ALL LIVE UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS, and MOST, so are PEOPLE who ONLY ENJOY GOD'S GRACE but do NOT KNOW Him . IF a PERSON BELIEVES in GOD but SPENDS MOST of his ENTIRE LIFE LIVING UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS, this PERSON'S EXISTENCE has LOST SIGNIFICANCE---and why even mention people who don't believe that God exists ? ALL those who CANNOT ACCEPT GOD'S WORK, or ACCEPT GOD'S WORK but CANNOT RESPOND to HIS REQUESTS, are PEOPLE WHO LIVE UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. Only THOSE WHO DESIRE to OBTAIN the TRUTH and can RESPOND to GOD'S REQUESTS will RECEIVE BLESSINGS from Him, and only they will ESCAPE from the influence of DARKNESS. Those who are NOT FREE, who are always CONTROLLED by some THING, and who CANNOT GIVE THEIR HEART to GOD are PEOPLE UNDER SLAVERY to SATAN who LIVE with imminent DEATH. ☀️😪 Those who are NOT FAITHFUL in their OWN DUTIES, NOT FAITHFUL to GOD'S INSTRUCTIONS, and DO NOT PERFORM their DUTIES in the CHURCH are PEOPLE WHO LIVE in the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. Those who deliberately INTERFERE with CHURCH-LIFE, who deliberately START STRICT BETWEEN their BROTHERS, or FORM SMALL GROUPS PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE DEEPER INFLUENCE OF DARKNESS, in SLAVERY to SATAN. 😪 Those who do not have a NORMAL RELATIONSHIP with GOD, who always have DEADLY DESIRE, who always WANT TO DELAY, and NEVER ASK TO CHANGE THEIR DISPOSITIONS are PEOPLE LIVING UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. Those who are CARELESS and NOT SERIOUS in their EXERCISE of the TRUTH, and do NOT SEEK to RESPOND to the WILL of GOD, INSTEAD ONLY SEEK to PLEASURE their OWN FLESH, are also PEOPLE LIVING UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS, OVERWHELMED by DEATH. 😪☀️ Those who commit perversion and deception when working for God, who are hasty in dealing with God, who deceive God, and who always plan for themselves are people who live under the influence of darkness. ALL THOSE WHO CANNOT LOVE GOD SINCERELY, WHO DO NOT SEEK to ACHIEVE the TRUTH, and do NOT FOCUS on CHANGING their DISPOSITIONS are PEOPLE who LIVE UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. ☀️🙏 From "Flee From the Influence of Darkness, and God Will Gain You" Fulfillment of "When I looked up, someone handed me a book wrapped in a scroll. I opened it and I read on both sides the prayers, lamentations, and curses." (Ezekiel 2:9-10). ... "His garment was stained with blood. He was called the "Word of God" (Rev. 19:13). The kingdom He brought down and set up in the highest in the sky so that it can occupy His creation in the universe and engrave on it the entirety of His Holy name "THE CHURCH OF ALMIGHTY GOD" 💐 fulfillment of (Mat. 16:18) "And I say as for you, you are Peter, on top of this rock I will build my Church, that even the power of death will not prevail over it.". ... and "The Letter to the Church in Philadelphia" (Rev. 3:7-13). ... And fulfillment of "The New Jerusalem" 💫 "The Spirit enveloped me, and the angel led me to the top of a very high mountain. He showed Me Jerusalem, the Holy City, coming down from heaven from God." (Rev.:7-13). ... " For the time has come in the house of God for the beginning of judgment in the house of God." (1 Peter 4:17). ... It is fulfilled that God Himself is our Pastor in (Rev. 7:17) 💐 "For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their PASTOR. He will lead them to springs of life-giving water; and God will wipe away the tears from their eyes" 📩 Calling and leading the sheep of God to His glorious Throne "THE CHURCH OF ALMIGHTY GOD"💐 to submit again to His authority so that He will continue to teach, guide and protect even in plague, famine and wild animals will not be moved by it and completely win this final battle with the big red dragon! "They say with a loud voice, "Salvation comes from the Lamb, and from our God who sits on the Throne!" (Rev.7:10). ... and it will be fulfilled that will be established above the sky/UA-cam in (Isaiah 2: 2 / 9:6) "On the Last Day, the mountain on which Jehovah's temple stands will stand out above all the mountains. All nations will flock there. " . . . "For a baby boy is born to us. The rule will be given to him; and he shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace." 💌📨
I realized that fear is at the root of all of my problems in my life. Fear is a huge issue. The Bible also says fear not more then anything else. 365 times. This is a great video!
@@vijayvijay4123 well anything done more than necessarily will be bad/destructive. If you don’t have any cravings or desire you’ll achieve nothing in life. And plus you loose interest in life, cause nothing is gonna excite you anymore. So Buddha just means don’t over so it.
@@blueshoes5145 Actually I find Buddha uncomfortable. I prefer Epicurus, his western counterparts who addresses fear rather than craving. Craving is all about addiction.
Godly fear is wholesome, not morbid. It motivates one to be firm for what is right, not to compromise by doing wrong. It is not like the fear associated with the ancient Greek deity Phobos, described as a sinister god that inspired terror. And it is not like the fear associated with the Hindu goddess Kali, who at times is depicted as bloodthirsty, using corpses, snakes, and skulls as ornaments. Godly fear attracts; it does not repel. It is intertwined with love and appreciation. Thus, godly fear draws us to God.-Deuteronomy 10:12, 13; Psalm 2:11.
I have been married 10 years this June. 2022. I have 2 kids and have struggled with this for so long. My husband sent me your link and I have such a good feeling now! Thank you soooooo much for this advice! Thank u for giving ME a chance to get my life back! Much live from Missouri! ❤️
I don't know where I have been these past few years and that I just bumped into this video. I am not the type of person who will put effort into putting up a comment but I want to put out a huge shout-out to Mel (wherever you are now) that you ROCK! This really works and I hope people take a deep dive and really understand what you are sharing. This is life-changing! Thank you so much Mel and more blessings to you!
I’ve started a new business and I feel so fearful to speak to people because If someone ask me a question and I’m not prepared to answer them I don’t know what I’m talking about. That’ is what’s frustrating. So now just look for forward to the outcome. Thank you so much Mel ❤
Well I'm very afraid of flying. So I took your 5 4 3 2 1 tool and your anchor idea. I managed a 3 hour flight. Thank you so much for this inspiration and insight. There are no words to describe how grateful I am.
I am 43 years old and have never been able to drive because I have a fear of driving. however, I want to start driving with this technique and I will definitely come back here to write a comment for you and share my experience. Thank you Mel
I know all too well what it's like to be emotionally paralyzed by fear. As suggested here I also found that reframing my fear into something positive helped me to completely transform my life. Now I'm able to face fearful situations without nearly as much trepidation. Fantastic video.
Despite the control over your mind, with a strong body and good coordination you can raise the tolerance for the well-aware state. It's not that you won't be afraid of a rollercoaster anymore, if you were before. But with a stronger body it's much less of an effort to keep tension. Less effort means less stress for your brain and you wont feel as frightened. If your body gets used to a state of agitation the signal to your brain might be so weak that it get's ignored as long as you don't bother too much.
My lifelong battle with intense panic attacks and suffocating depression disappeared when I stopped caffeine and alcohol. My joy has returned and I feel like myself. I haven’t even started working out yet but I finally feel like I am physically able. I’m thinking that will put me over the moon ecstatic with life and myself. Before this it would have been impossible to think myself out of a panic attack….the physical fear is GONE.
I've been using this technique for years. As a former party animal, I tell myself, "This is just like being high, and some people pay good money for this feeling." I actually convinced a friend who was terrified of flying that she was excited not scared. Today she no longer needs medication to fly :)
Finally someone who says they have a solution for your problem and also GIVES IT to you!! Great, thank you so much for not letting us hang in there for some expensive solutions you might have on another clip on a cassette we can buy, or not telling us we have to inlist in some equally expensive training program. You simply give it for FREE and with it you re-instate my faith in people! Thank you ever so much! And yes of course I will try it out. - 5 4 3 2 1 - anchor thought and - change anxiety in exitement - Big thanks!
Go to 4:25. Then it flows: 1. 5 second rule - countdown from 5 seconds 2. Anchor thought - create a contextual thought to keep you focused 3. Reframe thought from fear to excitement
Thank you so much for this! I was scared to take my driving test for almost a year and seeing this talk, booked my road test , changed my fear to excitement and passed it!!
I just want to say I’m truly touched because I’ve never heard someone explain so descriptively and on point word for word it was perfect, I’m 21 and I never thought I’d hear a person explain anxiety the way she just did, this video gave me hope that I might actually be able to life a joyful life and not have anxiety consuming me 24/7 thank you so much for making the tine to make this video it means the world to me and I’m sure you’ve touched a lot of other people watching this. Thanks again and wish me luck!
This is genius. I was nervous for something I must do for school tomorrow, but nah! I’m hella excited! I know I’m good at this and I’m passionate about this. I’m so ready to show off my amazing skills and to change the lives of others for the better with my knowledge!!! I got this!!
Daamn YES THATS WAY TO DO IT, sometimes ive had these thoughts when i do something that is anxiety producing and afterwards i feel like the shit, now with this i will put it into PRACTICE WHEN I GET BAK OHT THERE BABYY
Had a panic attack days ago before I fly to meet my bf for the first time. It seems my body was misinterpreting my feelings of excitement to fear/anxiety. I was having some floaty and anxious feelings a day before my flight and when I tried this, I legit burst into tears and I feel the anxiety is gone. Thank you so much. I needed this sense of calm and feel rightful feeling of excitement for this trip
WHOAAAAA!!!! I was watching this video!!! The second you said “you could turn your fear into excitement they cause the same thing”. I’m afraid of bridges bec of heights. I leaned on the window with excitement looking out into the ocean 🌊 I LITTERLY felt excited instead of fear! Thank you so much!!!! This helped me take advantage of my fear and I hope it will help my other fears🤗🏆💖your a genius
“If you make your internal life a priority, then everything else you need on the outside will be given to you and it will be extremely clear what the next step is.”
I am almost 58. I just push through fear and whatever inimidates me. I met a nice man today. Yep. I can be that easy. Good people are out there, closer than you think.❤
I was terrified to do a presentation (context: I’m quiet, sit in the corner, etc. etc.) anyway, I had to present in my history class with my friends and turned my lowkey debilitating fear into confidence and my teacher looked surprised lmao… That was my proudest moment in that class.
This women is a genius. This 5 second rule just changed my life forever. Very smart lady. Thank you so much Robin. I’ve been having fear of going out in public by myself and public speaking. But now, my life just changed for good. I am truly excited to explore so many places by myself and speak up my mind out in public and also conquer every fear I have. Incredibly excited!! Thank you Robins :)
this is really funny, today I felt a little "anxiety " I just changed my thoughts and said to myself I'm not scared I'm excited...totally changed my state and calmed myself and felt amazing that I realized this for myself. and now I'm seeing this video...pat myself on the back!
My anxiety has increased exponentially over the past four years. I feel like i missed out on my prime young adult years and every time i think of doing things different, changing, doing something, not leaving people hanging because im too embarrassed too let them know i cant make it. And im still acting like a coward. Tonight i need to change. I need to step into that which I'm most afraid of
Embrace your panic with love and dont let it escape. It might sound silly but it really works over time. I had panic attacs and know how you feel. Embrace it with love and say i love you. Stay and dont go.
I have horrid sleep anxiety and insomnia. Last night when the anxiety started, I told myself its just excitement for the new life I’ll have when I can sleep and all the things I’ll be able to do. I slept through a professional fireworks show going on in the neighborhood. Wow!
You have no idea how much my life changed following you. I have overcome my fear of speaking in public expressing my self and conveying my opinions i am living a much much happy and relaxed life now thanks mel # from very far in a mountainous region of Pakistan 💓💓 live long 👍🍻
@@ayezaabbasi5599 you just go into whatever you’re going to be afraid of & tell yourself this is going to be exciting I’m really excited about this. Your brain will believe what you tell it . Try it it really works.. worked for me it can work for anyone.
Thanks Mel! I was having severe fear of studying for the California Bar exam namely a multiple choice section that I completely bombed last time. This stems from being a kid and always getting anxiety during multiple choice exams. I signed up to retake it and every time I am on my way to the library, my stomach gets tight thinking of opening the book again and preparing for it. I have had a knotted stomach for a week. I am now going to try this method to relieve that stress so that I can properly prepare and conquer this fear once and for all.
I saw her other video and saw people's comments that went 'Mel you're the best! Before my life was a mess and now that I've watched your video my life is the best!' I totally thought it was sarcasm, but now I see I was wrong
my revelation from this video was that you can control what you think. i've always known that i couldn't really control my feelings, and that i could, of course, control my behaviors/actions, but this idea about control my thoughts is key. i'm really excited about exploring this!
I actually thought this video would be super lame, but I stand oh so very corrected! Every single person, alien, animal, and everything in between NEEDS to see this video; It helped me so much!
It's amazing how most of this stuff I did sub consciously but didn't know i was doing it. Now that I know, I'm proud of myself and it's not the first time. Thank you for breaking it down for us
First video in a long time I have found on youtube that actually says something new about fear and anxiety. This insight that fear and excitement are essentially the same thing and how to covert fear to exitement is both simple, useful and deep.
Funny because I thought being anxious was a good thing like anticipating a birthday party. I never understood until I first realized I was having panic attacks years ago... My wires get crossed now where I get scared when I feel excited. Glad a friend introduced me to this.
I thought i was going to have to pay for it.. This is the first time i was proved wrong. Thanks for sharing this. Youre really helping your fellow brothers and sisters here on Earth.
This is great, and much of this has been overcome through the years, and I'm 50, being born in 1971. However, I grew up in an abusive household, and we were a family that moved frequently (14 times while I was going through school). I never got to settle down to make friends, and developed anxiety in the process. My parents just loved living in various small towns in northern Minnesota. If I questioned a move, or said no to one, I got a beating. Schools have incredible challenges dealing with frequent movers, because they get defiant and confrontational. I experienced that at home growing up. Nothing was ever good enough, unless my parents had control of what I did. This is no sensible way to live. it is living a lie by trying to satisfy someone else's ideal of how they think you should be. It's a subversive, but very dangerous, form of abuse.
I had to change schools several times a year, due to moving/hiding from our abusive father. He passed when I was 11. When I was able to decide what I wanted to do, I used the city bus to go to the school I had started high school in, there were no restrictions then. At least I got to graduate high school, nevertheless I wasn't able to develop friends. I was very shy. Different things that happened even as I was older caused me not to be able to trust with out really a big effort/reason. I didn't really have fear of heights, traveling, flying, boating, etc as when I had a really bad occasion with child when he was 14, I began to lose my confidence and these things I enjoyed turned to fears. I am so glad to hear about the 5-second count down and the pre-planned anchor. Thank you Mel! Thank You my Father God!
Mohammad bhojani thanks so much! Theres never a time where we are 100% ready! taking that risk and blogging/vlogging of my journey so lets see how this goes!
Ambitious Survival i blogged about it... its called .. I'll do it when Im ready: but Will i ever be ready? its on my website and or fb page The fitness freedom flow 😊
Thank you Mel, even though this might sound strange I refrained my thoughts of fear into existement. My husband is having a liver biopsy soon which will finally determine what illness he suffers from - I have been searching for an answer for the last 5- 6 years. Instead of feeling fear I am excited about the access to doctors that are specialized in this field, I am also excited that there is no more guesswork on my part. Thank you for this process it is something that goes into my gratitude journal. ❤️
Unfortunately Mel we are bombarded daily with fear about so many issues that its not surprising we probably all need motivation to prevent us going absolutely insane. Thanks a lot your a great speaker and you have the talent of helping so many people, you certainly have me. Keep up the great work.
So I wake up in the middle of the night with a anxiety attack starting, and I tell myself I'm excited. That seems weird to me. I wish I could control my brain like a normal person.
I overcame this issue by doing two things. I bought a weighted blanket which immediately reduces my anxiety. I thought the idea of them as silly at first, until I found out it helps a lot of people. The second thing is more difficult and will take a while to master. Before when I went to bed with thoughts of something that made me anxious I would think about it over and over which only made it worse. I called it "circular thoughts" and it always prevented me from getting a good night sleep. So after learning to meditate half way decently, I started a new approach to deal with my issues falling asleep. First, I take in several deep breaths and slowly exhale. Then I count down from 20 and when I get to zero I try not to have any thoughts at all. I know this sounds impossible, but with practice it can be learned. Once I have muted the voice in my head random thoughts will come along and I acknowledge them and release them and quiet my mind again. Before it often took me hours to fall asleep and now it takes about 15 minutes. I hope this can be helpful to other people.
i'm currently going through a similar experience and i deal with them by counting, like Mel said, but i count to 100 or even 200 and then i think about how i'm going to be peaceful when the panic attack stops and how i'm going to overcome it again and how i'm going to be able to control it more and more everyday and it actually helps and i'm getting better day by day! i hope this helps :)
I have public speaking fear for many years and I could overcome to that but if watching this I have figure out the solution that instead of fearing we need to be excited and it really works for me. Thanks mam for your sharing your thoughts and in this world of selfishness people like you are helping people that is great. May God bless you
Mark van Dalen When I played 360 for the first time before buying ticket I recalled God and went to play.While I was playing at the very time I had so much fun and felt like I did it.So whenever I find Something fearful I recalled the moment of 360 and it turns into excitement...In this way I made my Bunge Jump exciting...Many more things to come in my life n m gonna hack it by my above mentioned trick...U can have your own excting story that can be used as ur own trick fren.
I'm speaking at a big fundraising gala event with over 100 people attending on Saturday. I feel like I just learned everything I need to be successful. I have got this in the bag. It's my first public speaking event ever. In general I have a high amount of social anxiety. But I excell at everything that I put my all into, and I know I'm going to kick ass at this!
I find this video while having severe anxiety attack few times since morning but this technique really calm down myself. Thank you very much for guidance 🙏
well you just mentioned anxiety in your comment, Sorry for replying but i want to explain something very important about anxiety, As you may have faced or experienced so many times that a fear which seemed to happen to you but that never happened and never existed. It only waisted your time and just it kept your brain constantly thinking and picturing the worse seen which was gong to be existed. Like you had some problems with one of your close friend and you were thinking that my friend can reject or quit me. But that never happened. So never over think or pre-think let the things come the way they are. Thank you
Thank you Mel, love the excitement transfer and the anchor thought.. I'm 47 and for the first time in the last 20 years I have 14 months clean and sober and I'm becoming "notice I did'nt say I wan't to🙂" a professional speaker and You-Tube influencer. So this helped me so much. I have a crazy story and I hope to chat with you one day. Thx Ryan
I have been teaching the excitement/fear concept for years and using it myself and got a kick hearing you say it, I am now going to start incorporating the anchor thoughts, I see that as a powerful combo to implement with your 5-second rule, The book is great
I thought I'm the only who is living a life of fears. Here I am reading I'm not the only one. I used to think I'm not normal, maybe mentally sick. Fears about every single thing and keep overthinking about it. I'm happy that I'm not the Only one.
Ya know, this is really perfect advice and explains a thing I discovered that had worked for me before I was going to take a test in school. I would feel a bit anxious and nervous about taking the test because I studied so long and hard that I wanted desperately to do well. Despite the fact that I was nervous about potential failure or doing less than what I wanted to achieve, I would tell myself "You got this". It seems like the same concept that Mel makes when telling yourself "I'm excited". It becomes so apparent to me now why of all things, that works like magic to me too.
This is such a simple and effective formula. I especially love the visualizing your anchor thought and the breathing 5-4-3-2-1 countdown. I do notice a difference in my reaction to counting back and counting forward believe it or not. It's like my awareness shifts from inside my mind to all around me.
Hello whoever is reading this, we may not know each other, but I wish you the best of luck in life! Stop blaming yourself, accept the situation, and move on. Your grin is priceless; all the keys to happiness are in your hands, so make use of them!
I have to go for a biopsy in about a month and I'm afraid it will be cancer. Things have been crazy and stressful and I've been trying to deal with that and I got this phone call today to go for the biopsy. I'm so overwhelmed. I'll try to do this. Thanks Mel.
I used to have a chronic fear of flying. Then I saw a slogan for a parachute school that said "Knowledge dispels fear". I applied this to flying, sat down and tried to learn everything I could about flying and aviation. Flying is now my greatest passion in life and I am training to be a pilot. Knowledge DOES dispel fear.
handcrafted30
Very great insight! THANKS.
That's actually pretty damn crazy. Hope your pilot training is going well
Thank you for this great quote!😍
Blessing from Taiwan! 😇
Did you have a fear of flying...or a fear of falling. Maybe by learning to fly you put your mind at ease about falling.
this is really inspirational. thank you for sharing :)
Solution 11:13
1. 5 second rule - countdown from 5 seconds
2. Anchor thought - create a contextual thought to keep you focused
3. Reframe thought from fear to excitement
My extra tip: fear dishonors yourself and your self esteem. Keep confronting fear head on. Practice will help you relearn a healthier habit. Live a life free of self limits.
i agree with that , mind needs to be trained if you want to think positive in every situation such as doing medidation
Princess: Your extra tip is very wise and beautifully formulated. If we let our fear determine or define our lives we really are its slave. But if we challenge and face our fears eye to eye, then we are free.
@@MindVersusMisery yes, accurate. We need to change the story we tell ourselves to a positive one. Optimism is a key too.
I don’t know if this will always work because ...some of the more everyday things that you’re fearful of aren’t very exciting! or something to look forward to. Like if you have a few people coming to the house to do a job for you. Your anchor thought is I’m excited to get the job done but I don’t really I’m not excited about trades people coming to my house so what about that. I find it difficult with people I don’t know around my own own space and get very anxious about heaps of just normal things unfortunately
@@annab5961 i think for that, simply trade fear and excitement with anxiousness and anticipation.
think about it, anxiousness is just a low key form of fear where, instead of absolute dread, you're just, quietly roasting yourself with a pessimistic awaiting of what's to come. so what's the opposite?
anticipation, quietly building yourself UP with a optimistic outlook of what's to come!
try it, bet you'll be surprised!
I was fearing to go to a new job and having to start over and relearn everything from what I was used to , until I saw this video. I’ve turned that fear into excitement ! I’m ready to start a new beginning. I’m ready to face something unfamiliar. Why be afraid brain? Be excited about this ! 😮🎉
Yessss🎉🎉🎉
😊❤
Same here. New job anxiety after a 23 year career where I had no fear lol.
me to
Starting over here. I had to relocate to my sons home. Now finding a new place to live. And paying more money. Be excited about this. 54321 let’s go
I have a fear of people judging me even though I get along with pretty much everybody. Sometimes when I talk to people, when they make facial expressions, my mind automatically goes into "this person is thinking I'm an idiot" thoughts.
How do you know that they are judging you this is mind reading thoughts The problem is that you think of yourself that you are an idiot The problem is this if you think good about yourself then no matter what other people are thinking
Fear=Excitement. That is mind blowing. Never thought of it before.
Do people really believe this?
Dee Gee why wouldn't they!? this is fool proof!
+brad zatar Are you joking?
ofc not, why don't you believe it!?
+brad zatar bc it's a gimmick and it's not true. The chemicals released in your brain are different with fear or excitement. That's why they feel totally different. Anticipation of sex feels different than someone car jacking you. That's why you're not thinking "fight or flight" when you're a about to have sex. It's just sad that this many ppl are lost enough to believe this. It may help some ppl. But it's no solution. It's a psychological band aid basically.
I have lived a life full of fears. Tears are flowing in my eyes now.
I have been seen as clueless, empty-brian and stupid by people who seemed to respect me for what they knew about me, thanks to fear.
I hope this would help me.
Same😭😪
Hope your tears are wiped away friend
Tears for fears..
This is so amazinggggg
I really love eeet
Happy this wasn't a scam to get me to buy something. Thank you.
It may not be a scam but it does SUGGEST you buy her book "The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence With Everyday Courage".
@@timwolf5742 Where in the video does she promote her book?
Me too lol
@@OmerAsh there’s a link in the description ;)
A few months ago I had the epiphany that every time I was so scared to do something, for example driving is one, I have actually always survived! I now try to be thankful and acknowledge the moments each day that scare me and I survive, and I feel stronger after each challenge.
Yeah, fear keeps you alert and enables you to survive. One of the things you don't get frightened by is likely to be what will kill you, out of the blue. Healthy fear keeps you alive.
That's really powerful to read & thank you. I loved driving & 9 years ago, fear took over & and Satan stole my liberty by making me fearful of driving my car.
I so want to overcome this. Maybe I'll get another car & create a new beginning combined with what has been advised in this post. Any positivity is welcome 🙏
The whole point of what Mel is saying, is this., Your brain can only have one linear thought at once. A fear comes from the creative, right side of your brain. It thinks it can predict an outcome and dwells on that outcome. Obsessive thinking. By counting down from 5, you are instantaneously accessing the logical left side of your brain. Breaking the obsessive thought. Think of a hysterical person getting a glass of water thrown in their face and being told to, Snap out of it! In a less shocking way, counting down from 5 has the same affect. If you are not getting it with the countdown, try this experiment. The next time you find yourself feeling anxious or fearful, do the math. Randomly pick 4 or 5 multiplication or division problems and calmly do them in your head. No one has to know. 6x8=48, 9x7=63, 24/3=8 etc. Accessing your left brain detaches you from obsessive thoughts. The second part is Instantly think of the future positively. Ex. Fear of flying. After doing your math, in detail think of everything you are going to do when the plane lands. I'm going to get my bags, get the car, drive to my destination, greet friends and family, or check in hotel, grab a pina colada, sit on a beach chair and watch the sunset... Now tell me. After reading all that I just wrote. How often did you think of the fear? If it's still there. Add some of your senses.
See the smile of friends or family, taste the icy cold pineapple and rum sliding down your throat, the sand between your toes...get as descriptive as possible. Rinse and repeat.
John Vas This is great advice, thank you! I get these panic attacks when my daughter (19) goes out partying, it's time for her to call and say she's on her way back (around 3am) but she doesn't call. It could only be 5 minutes, but during those 5 minutes I start shaking and sweating, my heart races, my stomach starts acting up and sends me to the bathroom immediately and I can't stop thinking something happened to her. How can I apply all these recommendations when I live in a dangerous city - Bogota (Colombia) and my mind is "certain" something must have happened? Help please! I'm driving my daughter crazy!
Thanks for Logical explanation
Great explanation...thank you...
Thank you for the awesome advice. I suffer with anxiety before taking off and after landing too. I will try your suggestions.
thank you. you saved me 12 minutes of my time.
I watched this video a year ago and following Mel’s advice I lost my fear of travelling alone, i traveled and now live in a different part of the country and I’m so happy. Now I’m about to start my own business and I am experiencing that same fear as one year ago. Completely forgot about this video and it just popped up at the perfect time. Thank you so much for helping me in my journey to a new life. ❤️❤️❤️
Travelling alone is cool you learn to be really confident and live with your decisions character building exciting
Blucat. Youre not giving yourself credit for your ability to face your fears. Unless you were born into money., you seem to have been able to afford yourself a comfortable livin enough to travel. To get where you are w/o being a trust fund baby means fear at some time, was not an option.
DOLLAR SHOULD RISE
This is what I’m about to do! I would love to know how you used this to travel alone :)
i prefer to travel alone
As a human living with anxiety/depression and several other issues, I've learned that I thrive and in a higher state of happiness when I have "something to look forward to." Even when I'm not thinking about that "something," I'm still in a generally better mood and can accomplish more. So this makes perfect sense to me.
True its with me too
Love listening to mel.she helps me so much.
I like how you said "as a human" like we're going to think you're an alien
@@i_exist1872 I guess I said that because I know that animals (of the furry kind) also experience anxiety.
@@kathykaura7219 This is very true for me as well.
1. 5 second rule - countdown from 5 seconds
2. Anchor thought - create a contextual thought to keep you focused
3. Reframe thought from fear to excitement
hahahah
Thank you. You explained it better than this video that I am about to thumbs down.
At first I have fear on leaving comments on UA-cam videos
but after I watched this I am now excited to leave comments!
Thank you
I wish my fears were this little, no offense in glad for you tho
What kind of fear that is😂😂
same fear i too had
Thank you for the 5 second rule....it have literally changed my life. I have been using it for the past 6 months , testing it on things I have never been able to conquer and trying to make the rule fail. It has never.....never failed. I am in control on my life, I do things that I never even would have tried a year ago. I don’t procrastinate any more, I don’t say no to things I have never tried, I just forge ahead as if I have done them a million times. The sad part to this is I am 68 years old and it took me all this time to find out about the 5 second rule. Think what I could have achieved if I had known it at 25?? But nothing will stop me now...I’ll just need to make up for lost time. Again Thank You. You have made a difference in my life for the best. I now control my life not let other people or situations control it. You’re the Best!!
Thank you for this review! I'm glad to hear that it's working for you. I'm going to start implementing this in my life.
Remember, It’s never too late to do the right things.
I’m glad you have made a difference in your life.
So glad for you! When God comes to take His children home, we will have eternity to do and enjoy ALL things we can't even imagine now. This is my anchor thought! We will even get to explore this Earth that we were born in! Thank You, my Father God!
Hi baby how are you doing now i hope you are really doing good you are awesome looking at you baby makes happy when I look at your picture it is beyond my imagination that a creature like you really exist like a rose you make the garden so beautiful You are a diamond to any man that have eyes to see goodness of a womanhood Baby am Ben easy going person very understandable Am a civil engineer and a contractor I work at so many places like Asia Europe and Africa I love art craft and I write music I like ideal people when I see your picture am impress I want a good woman that understand what real love is all about who will understand me and perfectly be for me So we can build our world strong enough to care for each other I want you to be mine and I hope to hear from you soonest thanks
OMG! I am literally crying because I just used your technique and it actually worked. Me and my mom we’re thinking that I was having panic attacks or developing anxiety but we didn’t know from what. I’ve been sick from school for nine days and I’ve been nervous about going back and I don’t know why and I found your video and I tried your technique and it’s a miracle. Thank you!
In my very first time flying, the plane went thru turbulence in the clouds. I started thinking it's fun, like a rollercoaster ride and enjoyed it instead of being fearful.
Had anxiety for years, got to the point where it is so exausting to do everyday things. This is so good, one video that actually helps. Thank u Mel tons...genious stuff.
Dr. Aloha has the permanent Herbal Remedy for any form/type of Autism, Herpes simplex virus. STI and terminal diseases within just days of usage. ua-cam.com/channels/_YFEEZEr1BxGkNg1d4vqww.html 🌸🇺🇸
Keep on practicing you might need a low grade med before it all gets better or there’s up and downs to panic and anxiety
@Christina Megan what nonsense.🤣🤣🤣
Try read the bible! Maby it helps u mentaly making u stronger
I can’t sit in a quiet car, cinema, classroom, just any quiet place because I get so anxious of my stomach making noises…sounds weird ik, but it has ruined so much for me and I’m so exhausted of it. Starting school soon and I just don’t want to feel the anxiety of my stomach making noises 24/7…
Thank you so much! I managed a 2 hour flight without medications first time in my life with an anchor thought of landing. I am so grateful!
Never in the HISTORY of Calming down, has ANYONE calmed down by being TOLD to Calm down.
RIGHT ON 👍
This isn't saying to 'calm down'. You should still feel shaky, sweaty, tense etc. But If you can find a reason to be excited instead of anxious, your mind will accept it because your body is already in that physical state.
But this one works she's the goat of calm relaxing and meditation
Once my dad and I were in Vietnam.
These scooter taxi dudes were harassing us to tack a ride with them.
I was a little pissed off and told him it wasn't going to happen.
He started screaming " you calm down, you calm down "in a thick vietnamese accent. My dad and I started laughing, it was so ironic and filled with passionate comedy, that we ended up getting a ride with them.
Nowadays it's a family joke between us that if either of us start getting testie we are reminded in vietnamese accent to " you calm down!".
D Holland I’m sorry but that statement was soo funny 😂😂😂 but true
Im 16 years old going on 17 , never, ever in my life, have i ever met someone as talented and smart as you, i had social anxiety before, but i have been better, and im making progress, now that i learnt from you, i can be even more better, and overcome my fears and negative thoughts, Thank you.
I can’t thank you enough. I was terrified of doing a speech in front of my colleagues yesterday and nothing was helping me. I felt completely revved up and afraid. It was horrible. I then listened to your advice and kept saying to myself that what I was feeling was excitement, not fear and that’s when I even started smiling as beforehand I was withdrawing and wanted to run away. I did really well in my speech. I kept on chatting and smiling with my colleagues beforehand so by the time I needed to present, I was nowhere near as revved up as I thought I was going to be. Thank you so much. ❤
Well done! :)
Fear is so real to me it has literally destroyed me
Same …
Tony, I have dealt with social fear most of my life. I have found that using my body, AKA, exercise and hard physical work help to calm me down. Also , right now I am working with a hypnotherapist on creating positive outcome images in my mind. Good luck,,, I feel that we are here to learn lessons and to grow and become better people,, AKA, learning to love oneself and others as well. Bill
Trying to save myself
@@billp4380 b.s. I'v been having this for 30 year now. Together with depression. It's the point in the same part of the brain that is not right. You can love all you want to, it will not help you one bit when you have this. And I've been living with it for 30 years. I've had every therapy and treatment known to man. And it didn t help me one bit. Just trying to life with it.
It gets better. My severe panic attacks went away completely.
I swear to god this is the most important video I’d ever watch. I went from being afraid of talking to my crush to being excited to talk to my crush. You changed my life.
I can't believe how much this worked for me!! I was able to speak in front of a group of people at my child's school, I have always struggled with public speaking so this was a big deal for me and I am so grateful to have come across this video.
I’m going to try this with driving 😆 , I’m fighting driving anxiety….. and I’m going to win this fight😘 thank you universe for being me here😘😘
Omg I had this fear last year. It was so bad. I’m so sorry you’re going through that
I have this for years now. Wonder if it helps you. I hope it does 😊 good luck!
Hi. I have been dealing fear issue for six years, I couldn't fly because of fear. I was praying and asking Lord to help me. Just now found your video overcoming fear. I m so excited, I am gonna travel soon. God bless you
Naveed Aaron good luck! You can do this :)
im gonna try this with driving, i get so nervous and my heart rate gets up to 160 bpm which is crazy! but i always had that vision of going to my favorite places in town and be fully present and so grateful for this little ride. wish me luck
I used to feel the same few years ago but had made a lot of progress. You should watch some youtube videos: How to overcome the fear of driving. Good luck!
Hope everything worked out for you and all went well .
How are you doing, I'm currently afraid of driving right now. Don't know what exactly triggered it but I'm not exactly happy about it. I feel like it's affecting my everyday life.
@@natnatalie1517 I’m still trying to get better, thank you for asking! But the best strategies i found so far is to drive at off-peak hours since it will give you the freedom to drive with very few cars around. I also just found out that i have caffeine sensitivity which makes my symptoms and my anxiety so much worse when driving so i must avoid it at all cost. And i keep taking very short trips at least once a week as an “exposure therapy” and it actually boosts my confidence every time.
I’m not sure if my fear is due to a past event, but what I’m sure about is my main fear of driving with cars around, i get very self conscious when i see how they’re illegally over-speeding while i’m driving just at the speed limit or a bit less and I get scared of making them mad because I’m driving “slow”. I know I’m doing everything right and i shouldn’t be too stressed out like that, maybe i need to be conscious of my negative self talk or my inner thoughts in general.
I hope we will overcome it this year! Let me know for any updates, i would love to share our progress every now and then.
@@zouzoufilghorba2150 I hope you're doing oka now - Im facing a similar situation - it's partly PTSD from a panic attack I got on a Highway once three years ago. Have not driven on an open road since.
I have been a therapist for many years and have found this technique to be the most effective for my own anxiety whether flying or giving a presentation to a group of community leaders.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.larks I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.larks
Thank you for finally analyzing that “happy thoughts” isn’t good advice and is something that doesn’t work for everybody.
I'm 73 and I used to be fearless. Now, I fear everything, every situation.
What caused the change in both of you?
I wouldn't say you fear everything or certain type of thing. I think being in your 70s plus you paid your dues growing up. You did what your body was able to but now you're older and know your limits. That's why ppl retire is to live their best moments. Your not in your teens or even 40s anymore. I know the feeling. I know my limits my body or the law will let me get away with lol.
Are you listening to Fox News?
@@ogeo.8966 Prescribed drugs, sorry, medications. Benzodiazepines.
@@suziegriffith ?????????
🌸 Summary:
1. 5 Second Rule ( to disturb your mind and change the focus from fear to the anchor thought)
2. Anchor Thought ( an image that makes you excited about what will happen after you do the thing that you're gonna do)
3. Reframe fear into excitement ( and this happens directly after applying step number 2)
THE GOSPEL OF THE WORD OF ALMIGHTY GOD "the last age in which God saves man from the destruction of this old world"
"WHAT is the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS?". ... (The so-called "influence of darkness" is the influence of Satan's deception, corruption, bondage, and control over people; Satan's influence is an influence that threatens death. How can you escape from the influence of darkness after can you have faith in God? When you pray sincerely to God, you turn your heart completely to Him, and at this point the Spirit of God touches your heart. If people cannot put into practice the words of God, if they are always trying to deceive Him, acting indifferent to Him, and not believing in His existence--all these people are living under the influence of darkness. Those who are not liberated, who are always controlled by some things, and are unable to give their hearts to God those who are under the bondage of Satan who live with imminent death. Those who are careless and not serious in their practice of truth, and do not seek to meet the will of God, instead only seeking to satisfy their own flesh, are also people living under the influence of darkness, shrouded by death. All those who cannot sincerely love God, who do not seek to attain the truth, and who do not focus on changing their dispositions are people who live under the influence of darkness.)
The Almighty said
The SO-CALLED "influence of darkness" is the INFLUENCE of DECEPTION, CORRUPTION, BANDAGE, and CONTROL of SATAN on PEOPLE; SATAN'S INFLUENCE is an INFLUENCE that heralds DEATH. ☀️😪
ALL WHO LIVE UNDER SATAN'S COVERAGE WILL CERTAINLY DIE. ☀️
HOW CAN YOU ESCAPE from the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS AFTER YOU HAVE FAITH in GOD? When you PRAY SINCERELY to GOD, you TURN YOUR HEART COMPLETELY to Him, and at this point GOD'S SPIRIT TOUCHES your HEART.🙏
You become READY to GIVE YOURSELF COMPLETELY to Him, and at this MOMENT, you have ESCAPED from the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. If EVERYTHING a MAN does is that which PLEASES GOD and is in ACCORDANCE with His REQUESTS, he is a MAN WHO LIVES by His WORDS of GOD and UNDER His CARE and PROTECTION. ☀️🙏
If people can't put God's words into practice, if they always try to deceive Him, act without enthusiasm for Him, and don't believe in His existence---all these people are living under the influence of of darkness ☀️
People who have not received God's salvation live under Satan's control; that is, they all live under the influence of darkness.
Those who do not believe in God live under Satan's domain: Even those who believe in the existence of God may not be living in His light, because those who believe in Him may not really live according to His words nor be able to submit to God. ☀️
Man is limited in believing in God, and because he knows nothing about God, he still lives according to old rules, in empty words, in a life that is dark and uncertain, without being completely purified by God nor did He fully possess it.
In fact, although it goes without saying that those who believe in God may still be under its influence, because they do not have the work of the Holy Spirit. ☀️
Those who have NOT RECEIVED GOD'S GRACE or MERCY and those who CANNOT SEE the WORK of the HOLY SPIRIT ALL LIVE UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS, and MOST, so are PEOPLE who ONLY ENJOY GOD'S GRACE but do NOT KNOW Him . IF a PERSON BELIEVES in GOD but SPENDS MOST of his ENTIRE LIFE LIVING UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS, this PERSON'S EXISTENCE has LOST SIGNIFICANCE---and why even mention people who don't believe that God exists ?
ALL those who CANNOT ACCEPT GOD'S WORK, or ACCEPT GOD'S WORK but CANNOT RESPOND to HIS REQUESTS, are PEOPLE WHO LIVE UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. Only THOSE WHO DESIRE to OBTAIN the TRUTH and can RESPOND to GOD'S REQUESTS will RECEIVE BLESSINGS from Him, and only they will ESCAPE from the influence of DARKNESS.
Those who are NOT FREE, who are always CONTROLLED by some THING, and who CANNOT GIVE THEIR HEART to GOD are PEOPLE UNDER SLAVERY to SATAN who LIVE with imminent DEATH. ☀️😪
Those who are NOT FAITHFUL in their OWN DUTIES, NOT FAITHFUL to GOD'S INSTRUCTIONS, and DO NOT PERFORM their DUTIES in the CHURCH are PEOPLE WHO LIVE in the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. Those who deliberately INTERFERE with CHURCH-LIFE, who deliberately START STRICT BETWEEN their BROTHERS, or FORM SMALL GROUPS PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE DEEPER INFLUENCE OF DARKNESS, in SLAVERY to SATAN. 😪
Those who do not have a NORMAL RELATIONSHIP with GOD, who always have DEADLY DESIRE, who always WANT TO DELAY, and NEVER ASK TO CHANGE THEIR DISPOSITIONS are PEOPLE LIVING UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. Those who are CARELESS and NOT SERIOUS in their EXERCISE of the TRUTH, and do NOT SEEK to RESPOND to the WILL of GOD, INSTEAD ONLY SEEK to PLEASURE their OWN FLESH, are also PEOPLE LIVING UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS, OVERWHELMED by DEATH. 😪☀️
Those who commit perversion and deception when working for God, who are hasty in dealing with God, who deceive God, and who always plan for themselves are people who live under the influence of darkness. ALL THOSE WHO CANNOT LOVE GOD SINCERELY, WHO DO NOT SEEK to ACHIEVE the TRUTH, and do NOT FOCUS on CHANGING their DISPOSITIONS are PEOPLE who LIVE UNDER the INFLUENCE of DARKNESS. ☀️🙏
From "Flee From the Influence of Darkness, and God Will Gain You"
Fulfillment of "When I looked up, someone handed me a book wrapped in a scroll. I opened it and I read on both sides the prayers, lamentations, and curses." (Ezekiel 2:9-10). ... "His garment was stained with blood. He was called the "Word of God" (Rev. 19:13).
The kingdom He brought down and set up in the highest in the sky so that it can occupy His creation in the universe and engrave on it the entirety of His Holy name "THE CHURCH OF ALMIGHTY GOD" 💐 fulfillment of (Mat. 16:18) "And I say as for you, you are Peter, on top of this rock I will build my Church, that even the power of death will not prevail over it.". ... and "The Letter to the Church in Philadelphia" (Rev. 3:7-13). ... And fulfillment of "The New Jerusalem" 💫 "The Spirit enveloped me, and the angel led me to the top of a very high mountain. He showed Me Jerusalem, the Holy City, coming down from heaven from God." (Rev.:7-13). ... " For the time has come in the house of God for the beginning of judgment in the house of God." (1 Peter 4:17). ... It is fulfilled that God Himself is our Pastor in (Rev. 7:17) 💐
"For the Lamb in the midst of the throne will be their PASTOR. He will lead them to springs of life-giving water; and God will wipe away the tears from their eyes"
📩 Calling and leading the sheep of God to His glorious Throne "THE CHURCH OF ALMIGHTY GOD"💐 to submit again to His authority so that He will continue to teach, guide and protect even in plague, famine and wild animals will not be moved by it and completely win this final battle with the big red dragon!
"They say with a loud voice, "Salvation comes from the Lamb, and from our God who sits on the Throne!" (Rev.7:10). ... and it will be fulfilled that will be established above the sky/UA-cam in (Isaiah 2: 2 / 9:6) "On the Last Day, the mountain on which Jehovah's temple stands will stand out above all the mountains. All nations will flock there. " . . . "For a baby boy is born to us. The rule will be given to him; and he shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Almighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace." 💌📨
Thanks for the synopsis
what about fear of vomiting?
@@abbyyung3098 hypnosis is a good tool for vomiting phobia
what if you have aphantasia?
I realized that fear is at the root of all of my problems in my life. Fear is a huge issue. The Bible also says fear not more then anything else. 365 times. This is a great video!
True 👍👍👍
But Buddha says craving/desire is the root of all problems.
@@vijayvijay4123 well anything done more than necessarily will be bad/destructive. If you don’t have any cravings or desire you’ll achieve nothing in life. And plus you loose interest in life, cause nothing is gonna excite you anymore.
So Buddha just means don’t over so it.
@@blueshoes5145 Actually I find Buddha uncomfortable. I prefer Epicurus, his western counterparts who addresses fear rather than craving.
Craving is all about addiction.
Godly fear is wholesome, not morbid. It motivates one to be firm for what is right, not to compromise by doing wrong. It is not like the fear associated with the ancient Greek deity Phobos, described as a sinister god that inspired terror. And it is not like the fear associated with the Hindu goddess Kali, who at times is depicted as bloodthirsty, using corpses, snakes, and skulls as ornaments. Godly fear attracts; it does not repel. It is intertwined with love and appreciation. Thus, godly fear draws us to God.-Deuteronomy 10:12, 13; Psalm 2:11.
I have been married 10 years this June. 2022. I have 2 kids and have struggled with this for so long. My husband sent me your link and I have such a good feeling now! Thank you soooooo much for this advice! Thank u for giving ME a chance to get my life back! Much live from Missouri! ❤️
I don't know where I have been these past few years and that I just bumped into this video. I am not the type of person who will put effort into putting up a comment but I want to put out a huge shout-out to Mel (wherever you are now) that you ROCK! This really works and I hope people take a deep dive and really understand what you are sharing. This is life-changing! Thank you so much Mel and more blessings to you!
I’ve started a new business and I feel so fearful to speak to people because If someone ask me a question and I’m not prepared to answer them I don’t know what I’m talking about. That’ is what’s frustrating. So now just look for forward to the outcome. Thank you so much Mel ❤
Well I'm very afraid of flying. So I took your 5 4 3 2 1 tool and your anchor idea. I managed a 3 hour flight.
Thank you so much for this inspiration and insight.
There are no words to describe how grateful I am.
Anastasia WOW!!!!!!
Incredible. Youll make through it
It didnt work for me when I flew.
That’s great. Happy for you
DOLLAR SHOULD RISE
I'm excited to have a panic attack!
Lol!! This is great! 😍🤣
😄😄😄😄😁😁😁
So great..I’m with you..
😂😂😂🙌
🤣🤣🤣
Due to my stage fear I decided not to participate in the seminar but after watching this video I finally want to give it a go. Thank you mam
I am 43 years old and have never been able to drive because I have a fear of driving. however, I want to start driving with this technique and I will definitely come back here to write a comment for you and share my experience. Thank you Mel
We support you
I know all too well what it's like to be emotionally paralyzed by fear. As suggested here I also found that reframing my fear into something positive helped me to completely transform my life. Now I'm able to face fearful situations without nearly as much trepidation. Fantastic video.
Despite the control over your mind, with a strong body and good coordination you can raise the tolerance for the well-aware state.
It's not that you won't be afraid of a rollercoaster anymore, if you were before. But with a stronger body it's much less of an effort to keep tension. Less effort means less stress for your brain and you wont feel as frightened.
If your body gets used to a state of agitation the signal to your brain might be so weak that it get's ignored as long as you don't bother too much.
I'm fighting fear too
@@MrHaggyy thank you
My lifelong battle with intense panic attacks and suffocating depression disappeared when I stopped caffeine and alcohol. My joy has returned and I feel like myself. I haven’t even started working out yet but I finally feel like I am physically able. I’m thinking that will put me over the moon ecstatic with life and myself. Before this it would have been impossible to think myself out of a panic attack….the physical fear is GONE.
Same! I found when I gave up caffeine and alcohol, my anxiety is a bit better.
I've been using this technique for years. As a former party animal, I tell myself, "This is just like being high, and some people pay good money for this feeling." I actually convinced a friend who was terrified of flying that she was excited not scared. Today she no longer needs medication to fly :)
I love it. I think I have subconsciously done it before, I just tried it and it works. God bless you and all that battle with fear and anxiety.
Finally someone who says they have a solution for your problem and also GIVES IT to you!!
Great, thank you so much for not letting us hang in there for some expensive solutions you might have on another clip on a cassette we can buy, or not telling us we have to inlist in some equally expensive training program. You simply give it for FREE and with it you re-instate my faith in people! Thank you ever so much! And yes of course I will try it out.
- 5 4 3 2 1
- anchor thought and
- change anxiety in exitement - Big thanks!
To the person reading this, remember that everything begins with you. You are Light, You are Peace, You are Harmony.
Thank😊you!
Thank you 🙌👏🙏
DOLLAR SHOULD RISE
Fear=failure, fear =control, fear is not your God, peace is the answer, faith
@@GameRunnerd nice,
Go to 4:25. Then it flows:
1. 5 second rule - countdown from 5 seconds
2. Anchor thought - create a contextual thought to keep you focused
3. Reframe thought from fear to excitement
Thank you so much for this! I was scared to take my driving test for almost a year and seeing this talk, booked my road test , changed my fear to excitement and passed it!!
Well done !!!!!
I just want to say I’m truly touched because I’ve never heard someone explain so descriptively and on point word for word it was perfect, I’m 21 and I never thought I’d hear a person explain anxiety the way she just did, this video gave me hope that I might actually be able to life a joyful life and not have anxiety consuming me 24/7 thank you so much for making the tine to make this video it means the world to me and I’m sure you’ve touched a lot of other people watching this. Thanks again and wish me luck!
I'm on my job training right now and I'm really afraid of public speaking, I'm going to use this secret
Hello... I'd like to know your experience after using this technique
This is genius. I was nervous for something I must do for school tomorrow, but nah! I’m hella excited! I know I’m good at this and I’m passionate about this. I’m so ready to show off my amazing skills and to change the lives of others for the better with my knowledge!!! I got this!!
yayyyy . Did it go well ?
roseskyschmolesky yes! It went amazingly well. I got an “outstanding” on BOTH of my evaluations! I’m so happy!!!
Would it work for a real scary situation !not so sure ?
Yay
Daamn YES THATS WAY TO DO IT, sometimes ive had these thoughts when i do something that is anxiety producing and afterwards i feel like the shit, now with this i will put it into PRACTICE WHEN I GET BAK OHT THERE BABYY
Had a panic attack days ago before I fly to meet my bf for the first time. It seems my body was misinterpreting my feelings of excitement to fear/anxiety. I was having some floaty and anxious feelings a day before my flight and when I tried this, I legit burst into tears and I feel the anxiety is gone. Thank you so much. I needed this sense of calm and feel rightful feeling of excitement for this trip
WHOAAAAA!!!! I was watching this video!!! The second you said “you could turn your fear into excitement they cause the same thing”. I’m afraid of bridges bec of heights. I leaned on the window with excitement looking out into the ocean 🌊 I LITTERLY felt excited instead of fear! Thank you so much!!!! This helped me take advantage of my fear and I hope it will help my other fears🤗🏆💖your a genius
“If you make your internal life a priority, then everything else you need on the outside will be given to you and it will be extremely clear what the next step is.”
💜
Love this ❤️🦋🌍
Agreed!!!!🎉🎉
She's so right. Fear can be immobilizing.
I am almost 58. I just push through fear and whatever inimidates me. I met a nice man today. Yep. I can be that easy. Good people are out there, closer than you think.❤
I was terrified to do a presentation (context: I’m quiet, sit in the corner, etc. etc.) anyway, I had to present in my history class with my friends and turned my lowkey debilitating fear into confidence and my teacher looked surprised lmao… That was my proudest moment in that class.
I'm afraid for many things in my life, but the key to overcome these fears is acting. If I never face my fears I'll never enjoy my life.
This cured my panic attacks
This women is a genius. This 5 second rule just changed my life forever. Very smart lady. Thank you so much Robin. I’ve been having fear of going out in public by myself and public speaking. But now, my life just changed for good. I am truly excited to explore so many places by myself and speak up my mind out in public and also conquer every fear I have. Incredibly excited!! Thank you Robins :)
Am I the only person whose body does NOT feel the same when I am excited as it does when I experience fear?
Me too
this is really funny, today I felt a little "anxiety " I just changed my thoughts and said to myself I'm not scared I'm excited...totally changed my state and calmed myself and felt amazing that I realized this for myself. and now I'm seeing this video...pat myself on the back!
My anxiety has increased exponentially over the past four years. I feel like i missed out on my prime young adult years and every time i think of doing things different, changing, doing something, not leaving people hanging because im too embarrassed too let them know i cant make it. And im still acting like a coward. Tonight i need to change. I need to step into that which I'm most afraid of
Embrace your panic with love and dont let it escape. It might sound silly but it really works over time. I had panic attacs and know how you feel. Embrace it with love and say i love you. Stay and dont go.
I have horrid sleep anxiety and insomnia. Last night when the anxiety started, I told myself its just excitement for the new life I’ll have when I can sleep and all the things I’ll be able to do. I slept through a professional fireworks show going on in the neighborhood. Wow!
You have no idea how much my life changed following you. I have overcome my fear of speaking in public expressing my self and conveying my opinions i am living a much much happy and relaxed life now thanks mel # from very far in a mountainous region of Pakistan 💓💓 live long 👍🍻
I really want to change my life and overcome public speaking as well. Want to live happy and relax as you have done! 💪
How did you do it ?
@@ayezaabbasi5599 you just go into whatever you’re going to be afraid of & tell yourself this is going to be exciting I’m really excited about this. Your brain will believe what you tell it . Try it it really works.. worked for me it can work for anyone.
DOLLAR SHOULD RISE
@@ayezaabbasi5599 Live according the nature. Nature has got the Power of eradicating fear. Nature gives us the opportunity to live fearless.
Thanks Mel! I was having severe fear of studying for the California Bar exam namely a multiple choice section that I completely bombed last time. This stems from being a kid and always getting anxiety during multiple choice exams. I signed up to retake it and every time I am on my way to the library, my stomach gets tight thinking of opening the book again and preparing for it. I have had a knotted stomach for a week. I am now going to try this method to relieve that stress so that I can properly prepare and conquer this fear once and for all.
I saw her other video and saw people's comments that went 'Mel you're the best! Before my life was a mess and now that I've watched your video my life is the best!'
I totally thought it was sarcasm, but now I see I was wrong
my revelation from this video was that you can control what you think. i've always known that i couldn't really control my feelings, and that i could, of course, control my behaviors/actions, but this idea about control my thoughts is key. i'm really excited about exploring this!
I actually thought this video would be super lame, but I stand oh so very corrected!
Every single person, alien, animal, and everything in between NEEDS to see this video; It helped me so much!
It's amazing how most of this stuff I did sub consciously but didn't know i was doing it. Now that I know, I'm proud of myself and it's not the first time. Thank you for breaking it down for us
The 5 second rule is amazing! Now I'm not afraid to eat food I've dropped on the floor!
😂😂😂
😅😂😃😄😂👍
I’ve always been told 10 second rule on food🧐
@@andymilne310 turns out it's only 5 after that it's covered in germs
Fear has held me back for 50 years. It always and will always win for the next 20.
First video in a long time I have found on youtube that actually says something new about fear and anxiety.
This insight that fear and excitement are essentially the same thing and how to covert fear to exitement is both simple, useful and deep.
Now I’m waiting to welcome alot of fears that would approach me.
Felt an instant change in my brain after watching this. Thank you so much for this
dude it works, i felt anxiety for a few hours now because im having a presentation but the 5-sec saved me
wow you are one of the great self help gurus other than tony ,ferris and a few more who really want to help everyone Thanks
Funny because I thought being anxious was a good thing like anticipating a birthday party. I never understood until I first realized I was having panic attacks years ago... My wires get crossed now where I get scared when I feel excited. Glad a friend introduced me to this.
FEEDBACK APPRECIATED
Be sure to contact the watsapp line above for more info and insight…
I’ve always said that my mind confuses excitement and anxiety.
Christy Christy same here almost as if it can’t tell the difference
I thought i was going to have to pay for it.. This is the first time i was proved wrong. Thanks for sharing this. Youre really helping your fellow brothers and sisters here on Earth.
Like mels hair do!😊
This is great, and much of this has been overcome through the years, and I'm 50, being born in 1971. However, I grew up in an abusive household, and we were a family that moved frequently (14 times while I was going through school). I never got to settle down to make friends, and developed anxiety in the process. My parents just loved living in various small towns in northern Minnesota. If I questioned a move, or said no to one, I got a beating. Schools have incredible challenges dealing with frequent movers, because they get defiant and confrontational. I experienced that at home growing up. Nothing was ever good enough, unless my parents had control of what I did. This is no sensible way to live. it is living a lie by trying to satisfy someone else's ideal of how they think you should be. It's a subversive, but very dangerous, form of abuse.
Sorry to hear about your upbringing. I had a very similar childhood, albeit with divorced parents and alcoholism.
Best of luck to you!
I had to change schools several times a year, due to moving/hiding from our abusive father. He passed when I was 11. When I was able to decide what I wanted to do, I used the city bus to go to the school I had started high school in, there were no restrictions then. At least I got to graduate high school, nevertheless I wasn't able to develop friends. I was very shy. Different things that happened even as I was older caused me not to be able to trust with out really a big effort/reason. I didn't really have fear of heights, traveling, flying, boating, etc as when I had a really bad occasion with child when he was 14, I began to lose my confidence and these things I enjoyed turned to fears. I am so glad to hear about the 5-second count down and the pre-planned anchor. Thank you Mel! Thank You my Father God!
@@jerryanddiannedennison5644 was a same life to me but melrobbins has relieved!
I am tricking my brain by my brain. Oh poor brain! I am losing brain..
Erkhes Maddox lol. :-D
Erkhes Maddox lol 😁
Erkhes Maddox lol
Erkhes Maddox lol, u r so funny.
Hahahaha I'm going to say that to my self next time I have anxiety. That comment helped me control my thoughts.
yessss exactly what I needed to hear at this point of my life! i just quit mu job ans took the leap to chase my dreams!
Maz Dela Cerna takes a lot of courage to do that . Bravo and best of luck !
Mohammad bhojani thanks so much! Theres never a time where we are 100% ready! taking that risk and blogging/vlogging of my journey so lets see how this goes!
What was the tipping point for you ?
Ambitious Survival i blogged about it... its called .. I'll do it when Im ready: but Will i ever be ready? its on my website and or fb page The fitness freedom flow 😊
Maz Dela Cerna Thx for the inspiration 😊
When I face fear take a long breath, but fear =excitement conventional perception, thanks to mel robbins
Thank you Mel, even though this might sound strange I refrained my thoughts of fear into existement. My husband is having a liver biopsy soon which will finally determine what illness he suffers from - I have been searching for an answer for the last 5- 6 years. Instead of feeling fear I am excited about the access to doctors that are specialized in this field, I am also excited that there is no more guesswork on my part. Thank you for this process it is something that goes into my gratitude journal. ❤️
Unfortunately Mel we are bombarded daily with fear about so many issues that its not surprising we probably all need motivation to prevent us going absolutely insane. Thanks a lot your a great speaker and you have the talent of helping so many people, you certainly have me. Keep up the great work.
So I wake up in the middle of the night with a anxiety attack starting, and I tell myself I'm excited. That seems weird to me. I wish I could control my brain like a normal person.
Boy oh boy can I relate.
I overcame this issue by doing two things. I bought a weighted blanket which immediately reduces my anxiety. I thought the idea of them as silly at first, until I found out it helps a lot of people. The second thing is more difficult and will take a while to master. Before when I went to bed with thoughts of something that made me anxious I would think about it over and over which only made it worse. I called it "circular thoughts" and it always prevented me from getting a good night sleep. So after learning to meditate half way decently, I started a new approach to deal with my issues falling asleep. First, I take in several deep breaths and slowly exhale. Then I count down from 20 and when I get to zero I try not to have any thoughts at all. I know this sounds impossible, but with practice it can be learned. Once I have muted the voice in my head random thoughts will come along and I acknowledge them and release them and quiet my mind again. Before it often took me hours to fall asleep and now it takes about 15 minutes. I hope this can be helpful to other people.
For every fear comes strength maybe u not afraid maybe u just uncomfortable to accept change
Change Ur mind set and the very thing u fear won't mind
i'm currently going through a similar experience and i deal with them by counting, like Mel said, but i count to 100 or even 200 and then i think about how i'm going to be peaceful when the panic attack stops and how i'm going to overcome it again and how i'm going to be able to control it more and more everyday and it actually helps and i'm getting better day by day! i hope this helps :)
I have public speaking fear for many years and I could overcome to that but if watching this I have figure out the solution that instead of fearing we need to be excited and it really works for me. Thanks mam for your sharing your thoughts and in this world of selfishness people like you are helping people that is great. May God bless you
I’m going to try this on my cold calls tomorrow. I am excited to get that sale and make some commission bonuses!
Wow, so simple, and such a profound insight, ~thank you Mel Robbins.
OMG...That Anchor thought was the same trick I used as my own hack without getting advice from others. Here I found U teaching that trick. M excited.
what anchor thoughts do you use? Excitement?
Mark van Dalen
When I played 360 for the first time before buying ticket I recalled God and went to play.While I was playing at the very time I had so much fun and felt like I did it.So whenever I find Something fearful I recalled the moment of 360 and it turns into excitement...In this way I made my Bunge Jump exciting...Many more things to come in my life n m gonna hack it by my above mentioned trick...U can have your own excting story that can be used as ur own trick fren.
that is amazing man! Thank you for sharing! So you count backwards from 5 to 1, think about excitement and then you DO IT?
I'm speaking at a big fundraising gala event with over 100 people attending on Saturday. I feel like I just learned everything I need to be successful. I have got this in the bag. It's my first public speaking event ever. In general I have a high amount of social anxiety. But I excell at everything that I put my all into, and I know I'm going to kick ass at this!
I find this video while having severe anxiety attack few times since morning but this technique really calm down myself. Thank you very much for guidance 🙏
Me too...my panic attack will happened during morning...
well you just mentioned anxiety in your comment, Sorry for replying but i want to explain something very important about anxiety, As you may have faced or experienced so many times that a fear which seemed to happen to you but that never happened and never existed. It only waisted your time and just it kept your brain constantly thinking and picturing the worse seen which was gong to be existed. Like you had some problems with one of your close friend and you were thinking that my friend can reject or quit me. But that never happened. So never over think or pre-think let the things come the way they are. Thank you
May I ask what your anchor though is for panic attacks?
Thank you Mel, love the excitement transfer and the anchor thought.. I'm 47 and for the first time in the last 20 years I have 14 months clean and sober and I'm becoming "notice I did'nt say I wan't to🙂" a professional speaker and You-Tube influencer. So this helped me so much. I have a crazy story and I hope to chat with you one day. Thx Ryan
I have been teaching the excitement/fear concept for years and using it myself and got a kick hearing you say it, I am now going to start incorporating the anchor thoughts, I see that as a powerful combo to implement with your 5-second rule, The book is great
@Hello there, how are you doing this blessed day?
I thought I'm the only who is living a life of fears. Here I am reading I'm not the only one. I used to think I'm not normal, maybe mentally sick. Fears about every single thing and keep overthinking about it. I'm happy that I'm not the Only one.
Ya know, this is really perfect advice and explains a thing I discovered that had worked for me before I was going to take a test in school. I would feel a bit anxious and nervous about taking the test because I studied so long and hard that I wanted desperately to do well. Despite the fact that I was nervous about potential failure or doing less than what I wanted to achieve, I would tell myself "You got this". It seems like the same concept that Mel makes when telling yourself "I'm excited". It becomes so apparent to me now why of all things, that works like magic to me too.
This is such a simple and effective formula. I especially love the visualizing your anchor thought and the breathing 5-4-3-2-1 countdown. I do notice a difference in my reaction to counting back and counting forward believe it or not. It's like my awareness shifts from inside my mind to all around me.
Hello whoever is reading this, we may not know each other, but I wish you the best of luck in life! Stop blaming yourself, accept the situation, and move on. Your grin is priceless; all the keys to happiness are in your hands, so make use of them!
Thank you dear stranger
Thanks!
Thank you ❤️
Needed that thanks ☺️
I have to go for a biopsy in about a month and I'm afraid it will be cancer. Things have been crazy and stressful and I've been trying to deal with that and I got this phone call today to go for the biopsy. I'm so overwhelmed. I'll try to do this. Thanks Mel.