Well I now know what I have, Nostalgia. My husband died in 2011. I miss him so much. I’m getting better now but he was the love of my life. I had 30 years with him but I miss my love everyday.
Texas Gal it’s very sad but also beautiful that you experienced such a loving relationship. I am very sorry for your loss. Glad you’re doing better, now. 💔
I was widowed young, I understand. Grieving is hard work. There was an online group “Widow to Widow” it helped me feel less alone. Sorry for your loss. ❤️
The sound of cars in the rain trigger nostalgia in me or rather one specific memory. I was about 6 or 7 years old and it was raining. We used to live in a busy part of town,so there was a lot of traffic and noise. I remember it was warm outside,I was in my bed taking a nap,my mom opened the window, she tucked me in, kissed me and was very affectionate towards me,which she rarely was. I remember listening to the cars in the rain through an open window and the feeling of warmth and safety. I still open my window whenever it rains and go back to that moment when I felt completely loved and safe. Thank you for this video. I appreciate you sharing your personal nostalgia.
This might sound strange but watered down Coca-Cola does it for me somrtimes because I remember when I was small my mom was holding me, which she didn't really do, and she let me finish her watered down Coca-Cola.
Since I don't have enough income to afford a separate computer and dining table, I can select the visual and sound background for my dinner pretty easily as well, and I often tremendously enjoy it.
I have a significant olfactory nostalgia trigger where the fresh air through my window each night shifts to a very distinct and different smell which brings me back to a variety of times in my life and as soon as I feel it come over me in my bed I put my phone down, turn off the TV and breathe deeply. It puts me to contented sleep in 4 breaths! I don't even ascribe specific happy episodes to it, my brain just likes it! Works for me! Great topic! And the unrequited love......ouch.
I have the same. Especially for when it's raining. It always brings me back to when I was a child and would sit on our porch when we had thunder storms. Strangely, I have this for the smell of books. My parents took me to the library every week (Wednesdays btw) and I love the smell of old books.
@@TheSahand68 me too! I sometimes put on a UA-cam 70s songs video and it carries me right back. Music really informed my whole life but 70s songs are what put the lump in my throat! ❤
I know you don't really like to tell about yourself that much so this is really a privilege for us to be able to hear you talk about what makes you feel nostalgic
I know I have nostalgia for the 90s and early 00s, before everyone started using smartphones all the time and you could have a conversation with people more face to face. Sometimes I also fondly think back to when I was a kid and looked forward to watching cartoons on Saturday mornings and after school. 80s music and old movies make me nostalgic too!
I get nostalgia all the time! One thing that gets me every time is the smell of the original dial bar of soap. It reminds me of taking a bath at my aunts house when I was a kid. Then, I remember the woods behind her house with the creek. There was a big tree that had fallen over. I could walk up it and sit on it over the creek. I miss it. I would love to do that now. I was always outside back then. Sometimes, when I feel the wind blowing or hear the leaves blowing in the wind, or the sound of thunder and rain pouring outside of my window.. it reminds me of my childhood... A few times a week, I get nostalgia about being a kid.. just the way I would feel. Carefree, more open, I didn't have insecurities. Every year around holidays like Christmas or Halloween, I get very nostalgic about how it felt when I was little. It doesn't feel as magical anymore..... I love playing old games, like Mario and Zelda with my oldest son because it takes me back to those days as well. Great video! This makes me feel I need to get more in touch with my inner child...
That is a shame. I knew lots of folks like that. I personally am glad I got OUT of there. There is a saying that some people "peak" in high school and then find it difficult to excel in life.
I have never attended a reunion. Just the thought is almost enough to make me break out in a cold sweat almost 4 decades later. I think some would say I took all that a bit too personally. :/
@Manek Iridius it’s not false hope my friend, everyone has inherent worth. Trauma can make a person forget that. But your worth is there even if you don’t see it right now
I get nostalgic when looking at christmas lights too. In fact, I don't celebrate Christmas anymore except for driving around and looking at the different lights. Thank you Dr G.!
2nd comment but important: I really loved hearing your personal nostalgia . It humanized you as no other video before has done, and I'm all about watching Rudolph or Charlie Brown in a snowstorm❤
Certain songs trigger me...my lost innocence. I would like to think I’m not self-pitying but rather healthily remembering something lost. Good video and information, Dr. Grande. ❤️
I was not going to comment because I typically don't like to on these videos... But when you brought up a Charlie Brown Christmas special I got the nostalgic feeling that was awesome. Thanks for the great content Doc.
Aaah,.... now I finally understand why the doctor is so productive. There hasn't been much thunderstorms in Delaware lately 😁. Thanks for sharing your nostalgias Dr. Grande 😃🇳🇱. The eighties music 🎤. yeah!
Tears For Fears song 'Everybody Wants To Rule The World!' My ultimate nostalgic memory. That song triggers my 10 year old self in 1985, long summer days, playing with our friends. Bbq's, riding our bikes. Going to Lavalette beach in NJ...😊. Good times. Not all good, but probably the most pure and carefree time in my life. Thank you Dr Grande. Now I'm off to listen to that song!
Jersey beaches! :) I have vivid memories of wandering along the beach near Elberon and finding an actual tide pool, which I had all to myself all one afternoon. Tide pools weren't very common there, and now I wonder if it's just something I imagined. Yet all I need is to hear is a seagull flying overhead (even though I'm several hours from salt water now and in the city instead of the 'burbs) and that pool just comes back in beautiful full color, and a memory of almost-heavenly peace. :)
The sound of trains approaching at grade crossings and their horns makes me feel comforted, and nostalgic. Also, re-reading a book that meant something to me when I was younger, or read to my children when they were younger makes me feel contentment. In fact, I happen to have a copy of charlottes web here that I was about a third of the way through reading to my four-year-old granddaughter when the pandemic broke, so decided to pick it up again, even though it’s a children’s book. I miss her SO much, but she’s all over the place on FaceTime, so that will have to wait. I started from the beginning yesterday evening and once I get done with all my busyness here, I’m going to sit outside on a beautiful day and read it. Thank you Doc. You’re seeing a lot of us through these unsettled, strange, days. I appreciate that! 😊
This was a great vid Dr.G! It reminds me of Al Bundy from MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. He scored the winning touchdown at Polk High School and it was referenced all the time in the show!😉🤪 truly tho it seems a bit sad. 80s music makes me nostalgic as well😁Hope your day is good!
A lot of classic 80s music felt nostalgic at the time - particularly New Wave. To me there seems a lot of sadness and regret in the chord progressions and key changes. Maybe this could be why so many on UA-cam who never actually lived in the 80s are saying they feel nostalgia for a time they never actually lived through. In fact - it is a nostalgia for what it presented in films and popular culture of the time, which people never really lived through. This following clip is a new 80s song, made by young people: ua-cam.com/video/ri9IefTuNzc/v-deo.html
@Krunchy Vurn Bictim hahaha that's what I found funny with that comedy always holding on to the glory of his touchdown, just Once, not exactly in the NFL haha
I'm highly nostalgic, and I have the thunderstorm thing too. It may be because when I was a child (in the 1970s) I was afraid of thunderstorms. That would bring on protection and comfort from my parents and grandma. Also, since thunderstorms occur in the summer mainly, it could be associated with that. My mom was a teacher, and this was her summer vacation. My father and her were closer during the summer and my mom behaved more like a "stay at home" mom.
My father grew up during tough times, the 30s and 40s, poverty and war in a Third World country. Yet he talks about them like a lost Paradise. He's nostalgic for his childhood and youth. He's just turned 90. He doesn't like the present and fears the future. He has nothing left but the gilded past. It's really sad.
Aging is very hard, mentally. An woman in her 90s who was very wise told me, " Aging isn't for sissys, it's very hard and you better get your head on straight before you get old". The older I get I know she was right.
But to add, I think at 90, your Grandpa is very normal to have his feelings. It's OK, maybe he would like to talk and tell stories of his youth, I'm sure you'd be a very good listener.
I think a big attraction to nostalgia is that we already know the outcome of past events. Even if they were bad outcomes, there's little or no uncertainty about what happened. Looking to the future and not knowing what to expect can be scary.
Very interesting! I know several people who bring up nostalgic topics. I actually enjoy talking with my mom about happy memories. She is approaching 90 years of age, and I can see that we use positive memories as both a bonding tool and as way to both kindling appreciation for the positive qualities of people in our past and creating a happy experience/atmosphere for the day. Thank you so much for this.
Mine is so similar to a couple of others. One of my earliest and favorite memories: My sister and I were toddlers/preschoolers. It was summer, and our parents took us for a ride in their red '58 VW Bug convertible. It was dusk. They took us to Dairy Queen, and got us the tiny little 5 cent cones that they used to sell. On the way back home, we got sleepy. The cicadas and crickets were chirping, and as we pulled up into the driveway, the smell of the lilac bush next to the driveway filled the air. They picked us up and carried us into the house. The night seemed magical. So, the memory is triggered by the sound of an old VW Beetle, the sound of cicadas and/or crickets, the smell of lilacs, summer nights in general.
Love your videos so much Dr Grande! Been quarantined in the house I grew up in since March and I've been severely, almost obsessively, thinking about my childhood. I tend to get a little depressed when I think about these things but hearing your insight on this cheered me up quite a bit. Thanks for the frequent uploads, listening to your videos has been a highlight of my days.
Me too. Living in the house I grew up in and lots of memories / thoughts from the past keep coming to mind 24/7. From this video I realized I don't have as much nostalgia as much as I thought I did, from the definition. But I have more historical nostalgia than anything else.
My ex lived in the past. Romanticized it. I wonder if age causes people to be more nostalgic being that they have less time in front of them. He REALLY lived in the past. Only 62
Not really. Some people use the past as the background for their escapist fantasies...and also tend to abuse substances. A lot of these are covert narcissists.
Regarding nostalgia, it’s common that rites of passage like graduations bring us fond memories. I wonder how students who are graduating this year and finishing their education will feel years from now. That’s certainly a commencement they never thought they would experience. For anyone graduating this year I want to offer my warm Congratulations to the class of 2020!! 🎊🎈🎉 🎓👩🏻🎓👨🏻🎓
Thank you for your kind words. My sweet youngest baby boy is graduating this year. I think the whole covid thing that's ruined his graduation has been way harder on me than him. In fact, I know it has. I can't stop thinking about the first day I walked him to kindergarten. Just makes me so sad how his school career turned out for him in the end. I'm trying to stay positive 😔
I am going to replay this video because it totally resonates with me. I attended two reunions this year, and the second reunion caused me to take up with an old boyfriend. That in turn has produced some limited memories of our prior relationship in youth. Has he changed or is my memory deficient? I believe I romanticized the past, meaning that I remember a relationship as better than it actually was. As usual, Dr. Grande has given me much to think about.
I feel nostalgic when I remember my “special pet friend” or pet friends that are not with me anymore. Past “Pet friends” in a way are like that music from the 70’s and 80’s and being younger, things in life that we can’t have back.
By far, this is my favorite video! All of your videos are incredibly interesting and have been most helpful especially since I left my covert narcissistic husband of 30 years 3 months ago. Thank you!!
Okay, Doc! You're a true 80s baby, huh?💪🏽💪🏽 The title had me nervous since I'm pretty nostalgic, but I'm glad to see that I'm not a narcissistic or psychopathic nostalgic type of person!😂 Thanks for yet another interesting and informative video!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I also love thunderstorms. I love snow too. If I had a gun to my head, I’d be hard pressed to name a happy childhood memory. I associate the rainstorm with being alone outside or sitting next to an open window, just “being”. NOT being the recipient or the observer of my mother’s poison. Walking to and from school, in Chicago, especially in the deep snow, was a good feeling. Heavy snow yields such a deep satisfying hush while simultaneously offering a clean undisturbed vista. This made me realize at a very young age that not everything was ruined. I could see that even if it was a non human reference, there were things that were good. I often wished that I could be a tree. Strong, unharmed, content to feel the sun upon my “face” and the rain upon my “skin”
I need to watch this again. To say that nostalgia is a distorted view of an event is kind of an OMG moment. I have gone back to a "big old house" I lived in at eleven years old. It is a small two-story house, not a big house. I was 5'2" at eleven so it's not like it's because I was little. This has happened with me and nostalgia quite a bit over the years. As a teen in the 70s with a narcissistic, lying horrible older sister, I look back with great nostalgia. Yet, this was actually not a fun time for me. So maybe it's easier to pick out the good spots to focus on and even distort them for some kind of comfort. It's the distortion part that you bring up that just floors me, Dr. Grande. I feel a bit of freedom with it. Hmmm
My most felt nostalgic feeling is in winter, but not any winter weather, there's a specific thing in the air that reminds me of the past, a specific weather. Then I just burst in tears because I know I won't experience the same past anymore. Its related to a previous relationship, my first love. Its weird because I feel it every year almost at the same months.
@@auri7442 thank you. Nice to know too :) It feels really good but also sad at the same time.. pretty amazing what a little change in weather can do, it always amazes me. Its almost literally takes me back to those times, because I can feel myself back there but not in my body
Ooh cuppa tea time, dog asleep after his breakfast and my 'covid crochet' project shaping up on my lap. Dr Grande popping up in perfect timing. With Covid bringing out many better traits in us around so much panic and grief- I wonder what our memories of it will be like in 50yrs. Caroline, 36 🏴. Thanks Dr Grande always ♥️ your content and persona 👏👏👏👏👏
@Turquoise Cheetah well that's blown my mind before a nap. Am trying to fathom what your saying. For example flu kills more ppl than the covid has yearly- so why would they add in additional illnesses... Yeah, it can't be properly isolated as it's airborne and mutates, regenerates which has made it so deadly so far. I respect David Icke and I do try and feel thru others opinions--but what real looking into it can we do. Where do we begin? Do u know anyone whom has passed or survived covid 19? OK, think I ve replied to the best of my ability today. Peace and love anyway. Caroline and Eloi the coursing hound. Scottish Highlands
I have the same exact feelings about rain or thunderstorms and snowstorms. It's been like that as far back as I can remember. My mind stops racing and stands in awe of mother nature.
l quit drinking 32 years ago and one of the weirdest things l remember while going through rehab was an exercise where we were to envision all the times we had drank alcohol and actually had a positive memory about the experience, l believe l had drank more than 3,000 times and really messed up my life and functionality as a person by this time and while doing an inventory of my escapades l could come up with about 6 really positive times l had while drinking and a couple thousand times when things got messed up yet the 6 positive times always kept me looking for that experience again completely while destroying everything around me and not facing up to my reality at the time.
Thank you Doctor for sharing your personal experiences with this topic. I wonder if there is a connection between nostalgia and hoarding, they say that for hoarders every item has a story and reminds them of a person or event.
I enjoyed hearing your personal nostalgic triggers. I love rainstorms and feel some nostalgia of watching nature. Not listening to music, reading or tv, but just watching the sky and trees. Of course I live in Colorado so rain isn’t a common occurrence here. Snowstorms bring mixed feelings for me. I grew up on a farm and we had a lot of animals to tend so no matter what the weather was, how cold or snowy I had to get up early to do chores. Cows have to be milked twice a day, water unfrozen, feed given and pens cleaned. However, once the chores were done, then it was a warm house, something good smelling in the oven for dinner, warm beds and the security of my folks and my sister and I all safely tucked in. I’m 58 now and my hubby and I are retired, but I tried to give our son happy memories. I think he does. Thank you for an informative and pleasant topic today.
A recent customer at my workplace (family owned produce and flower market) shared with me that he used to come to our business with his mom and aunt when he was a little boy... "Ahh... good memories," I commented. "No," he responded. _"Great_ memories!" I am so blessed to work there.
This is something I find rather funny. An area where a friend of mine lives ‘was’ more criminalized before video cameras were used in commercial areas. When my friend and I are in her backyard we often overhear her neighbors talk about the ‘good ole times when they robbed convenience stores. They got drunk at the local restaurant bar with the proceeds and had fights. They seem extremely frustrated those days are over. It reminds me of Danny DeVito movies. Thanks for letting us know the difference.
60’s music does it for me! I was privileged to have my teen years in the wonderful sixties, and even now I only have to hear the first bar of one of those songs and it all comes back 👌. Good nostalgia, I think!
Music is a huge nostalgia trigger for me, I ended up making a massive Spotify playlist of those songs and sadly I'm sort of desensitised to them now haha
Sadly? Music is a huge trigger for me as well. I hate the felling of nostalgia so I'm going to create a playlist of my nostalgic tracks and maybe I can become desensitized to them.
I often experience “negative nostalgia” but what I find different about myself is that I kind of enjoy it. If I’m no longer attached to the pain of the memory, it feels comforting to remember the dark times for me. Maybe it’s because I can reflect on how far I’ve come since, but I’ve always loved the waves of negative memories (heartbreaks especially)
Seems like pandemics and big storms bring us all together because of our awareness of the need for safety and for most of the lucky ones we have the coziness of it to console ourselves. Much like in winter when I’m riding my motorcycle I get dressed really warm and there’s something about being out in the cold but dressed really warm that makes me feel really alive and well. I suffered through the pain of nostalgia for many years because of my idyllic childhood. I couldn’t even keep photos of my family around because they were such triggers and I love everyone of my siblings and my parents. But a lot of Buddhist meditation cured me of all of that and now I just do my best to reconstruct the loveliness of my childhood knowing it could never be the same and that’s OK now. GREAT TOPIC DR GRANDE! I’m so glad to know you take time out for snow storms! It’s scary really how productive you are but you have many fans who look forward to you every day!
Thanks for addressing weather nostalgia. Many of my friends & family in MN get it bc our seasons are so distinct. Even just changes in amount of daylight trigger it for me.
I recently returned to my childhood hometown after quite a time away and not only the sites and different landmarks brought up a feeling of nostalgia but there was a particular smell to the summer air there that brought me immediately back to my childhood. I had a sense of happiness as soon as the scent hit me. Scents are so powerful.
I love Christmas and Thunderstorms to. I love the slower pace times and being with family and friends. I buy Charlie Brown every year, give it away to someone young in my family and do it again. 1 of the benefits of this Pandemic... I love to drive down the clear street and freeways. It reminds me when times were simpler
One point you made in this video about nostalgia involving intoxication struck a chord with me, for a period of time in my life I was prescribed opiate painkillers for nerve pain resulting from a surgery. These years marked a major deterioration in my mental health, I became addicted to the painkillers and entered a major downturn in life isolating myself, yet, I often experience a nostalgia for those times I was numb from the pills while everything crashed around me. I often find it concerning that I feel a nostalgia for such a negative period of my life, especially considering how much I've grown since then. Great video Dr Grande, always thought provoking.
I find that when the sun is making the hills and houses glow that pink hue in the evenings, that gives me nostalgia, if just a comfortable feeling i get inside, and it makes me feel extremely calm and happy
I used to be VERY nostalgic about events in my childhood & up through my 30's. Then I went through years of therapy & learned that if I was honest, I was a horribly selfish, insecure person that did terrible things to my then friends. My nostalgic memories were NOT what I thought they were! I am currently trying to make amends to old friends who (rightly) kicked me out of their lives. Also, I try to be a better friend to the few friends I still have.
I also get nostalgia from thunderstorms, I remember watching the flashes with my family and friends from our old house and feeling incredibly scared and very safe at the same time. When I was at an early age (4-5 years old) and up until now, I have gotten intense nostalgia from seeing country side scenes, with yellowish sunlight, fields, some meadows, things like that. Don't know why, perhaps because of children's shows I watched as a child? It's also very perplexing that a five year old can feel nostalgia. Furthermore, there's music, colors, things, events (like holidays), etc. that also trigger nostalgia for me (I'm clearly a really nostalgic person). Really interesting stuff!
I have serious nostalgia with snowstorms. My parent's jobs would close, all of us kids would be at home, and things were close 1970'sand early 80's. A time of togetherness that no other weather allowed. Yes, I have let, and have seen, nostalgia trap people in the past.
I think it's really nice that you have chosen to share some of the things that make you feel nostalgic with us. I assume most of us understand that being a professional you have to be quite measured in your videos but watching so many of your videos it's refreshing to get a glimpse of "Todd Grande" as well as Dr Todd Grande. Just listening your examples of nostalgic memories triggered a whole series of flash memories for me - some better than others! I studied memory as part of my degree and I had always thought of memory as a learning tool or organisation of our experiences from a biological/cognitive approach but the one connection I didn't make at the time was the very real sense of feeling that can be recreated and becomes an actual physical comfort. An interesting video.
Excellent video. I paused my career in the medical field to homeschool five of our seven kids through a private Christian school so they could play sports and participate in the extracurricular activities of the school. I was on coaching staff for softball and football at the school for 11 seasons. I'm now 46 and back in the medical field but often find myself painfully missing those years, especially because our oldest Son passed away during his sophomore season.
Pretty spot on. I yearn for the days when life felt so much more innocent. Perhaps, I _really_ miss how people were more compassionate before. You can even see this as evidenced in the U.S. TV shows and sitcoms. People were more deep then, and there were ALWAYS valuable lessons to learn from those shows. There was a sense of wholesomeness I cherish. It safeguarded me from all of the chaos around (life in the ghetto). In a way, it helped shape my values and world view, all of which I _dearly miss._ I cry thinking what went wrong in today’s society.
Sopranos series premier opens with Tony telling Dr. Melfi : “It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that and I know. But lately, I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over.” “ The therapist replies: “ Many Americans, I think feel that way. “
Hi Dr. Grande - great video as always. In a similar vein, yesterday a professor told me that a narcissist by definition cannot be wise. He was specifically referencing narcissistic leaders in business or healthcare. Is this true? I don’t really know what he meant but he said it was “supported by the literature”. PS. I also get nostalgia from big storms! It reminds me of being scared but having my mom close by (:
Love this one. I get nostalia with the teary eyes holding my titanium backpacking mug, feeling its texture in my hands and hearing the sound the little folding wire handle makes when I open it up. I can close my eyes and just be in the wilderness again. Sense it all around me like a time travel machine. Smells, sounds, places, people I shared those times with. All the places I have been with it. All the morning coffee's in the frost when the sun was rising beaming through the trees, evenings making soup or having a sip of whiskey by the fire. I haven't drank in 2 years, not hiked in over 3 years. About a year ago diagnosed with CFS/ME and am now mostly houseboound. Knowing those may have been my only days in the wilderness makes it all the more important an item to me. It represents a time I felt truly free, was pursuing ny dreams, making money and having the time to hike (rare!) had a ton of fun with my ex who taught me to backpack (we were like kids again every trip), and never thought in a million years a virus, stress, trauma would change it all. For myself and everyone. I didn't ever consider myself a person who took things for granted, but there are days it simply hurts to not be able to go back. Anyways. I think this is why many of us get so attached to certain "things". They become irreplaceable.
Aaaaaaaw i love your sharing your nostalgic triggers! That snowy Xmas day with 80s music and an old film to watch, ... that is a nice thought! This made me ask myself what makes me nostalgic. I didn't really begin living until 30 years ago (I'm 60+) and I'm positively nostalgic only about my maternal grandparents and camping 🏕 experiences with my awesome husband. Any show about the wild areas of Alaska grab my heart. Maybe it is the childhood pain that fuels a person to be mostly forward-thinking and goal-oriented. We don't really want to go back.....
i did not realize being nostalgic was a mental health issue! i am an incredibly nostalgic person. i constantly live in the past and did not realize that most people don't do that. i have a hard time understanding my husband and his mom in that they either don't remember their past or care about the people in it. even though i have been in a very happy marriage for 21 years, i constantly play back in my mind the relationship i had with with the young man i dated before the one i did marry (different marriage, which failed in 2 years). if i had not met my current husband, i would be almost desperate to have the ability to go back in time and "fix" that breakup.
The smell of burning wood especially in cooler temperatures reminds me of my grandmother and her farm. Church bells always take me back to a little town in Italy, I love this connection. Cut grass...slow summers.. I have a few but all are pleasant.....I agree with the storms,not sure it is nostalgic for me but just enjoy watching nature acting up. I grew up partly in the south where lightning storms shooting across a hot humid sky ...something to see
The starry night sky gives me nostalgia. Thunderstorms do it for me too, but I don't like sunny weather and actively avoid the sun. It's not just nostalgia that these two things make me feel it's a very far out feeling like I'm connecting to some inner part of myself that I cannot see. Anyone else?
Dr Grande, this was one of your most interesting videos yet. My mother's mother committed suicide before i was born, and I have witnessed her coping with it through what i would definitely call pathological nostalgia throughout her life. I also share your specific nostalgias for christmas, 80s music, and rainstorms (i grew up in florida, so no snow). You must be in your mid 40s.
To nostalge: The action of seeking out media from ones past, specifically their childhood, for the purpose of remembering those times; to feel nostalgia. (Urban Dictionary)
What about looking at stuff of the past to appreciate how much you have outgrown all that junk? I guess I'm not nostalgic because I tend to throw away stuff as soon as I am done with them.
I feel the longing for a simpler time, too. I get nostalgic for the 90s when I was a kid and there were a few word processors in people's homes, but there was no internet. It really did seem like a less hurried time, and we enjoyed the company we had around us. I can't remember how my mom and dad got around on trips without GPS. ☹ I'd love to go back. Thank you Dr Grande. 👍🌹 Suddenly I feel the need for a storm. Maybe nostalgia is the longing for one's youth and a do-over.
'A longing for a simpler time'. Totally agree, Dr Grande. For me it was High School in the mid 70's. As a musician it was music.......so if I hear Frank Zappa or maybe Joni Mitchell it will trigger these times, the atmosphere and the vibes. It was definitely a slower world back then. Thanks again for an excellent presentation.
Hello, Dr. Grande. Thank you; we, the People of the Internet/World needed (need, any day all day) the purity of this kind of wholesome, fully human sharing. Truly precious and sweet. My attention caught on those times you said "I don't know why...", indicating perhaps some feelings of vulnerability and thus all the more sweet. ☺️ I, too, have memories of storms affected by nostalgia. I was a child during the back-to-back El Niño/La Niña storms that battered Northern California in the mid-90s. The streets in our poor neighborhood flooded, largely disabling us from leaving our homes without a car. The memory of these nights of our lives insulated like the imaginal cells of would-be-moths swirling within a cocoon of white noise calls to itself with such a longing that can take my breath away. Perhaps, for the blank backdrop of my early life against which they stand, storms arise most prominently and just as any massive body, I am subject to their gravity, drawn in often to mine these deep, rich deposits for contemplation. So, l'll speculate on the power of thunderstorms to trigger nostalgia because this also seems quite common, judging from the comments. :) Perhaps these storms still rage in our hearts to call us back to a time before we had completed our training in conceit, before we had fully bought into the illusion of control. There was never anything personal about the thunder or snow storm. We had no power to affect change in the course of the storm yet the storm seemed to have absolute power to change our lives and for each of us uniquely yet seemingly without judgment. In a time when life ignorantly, inexorably marched toward blind, uncaring self-centered stasis, perhaps these storms gave us some respite in a compassionate moment to directly experience our insignificance and our powerlessness. Without the storm explicitly demanding for our surrender or even seeming to notice it we did, we surrendered - what else could we do? So its rage shrouded our huddled lives in sheets of blinding rain, rattled our windows with booming, impersonal, ultimately benign threats, flooded our streets and filled us with awe until finally - perhaps having fulfilled this singular purpose - it passed on. I did not grow up with snow storms but I found myself recently experiencing nostalgia for a snow storm I met only less than a year and a half ago. Isn't that something? It amazed me that so much visual noise could be silent to the ears but moreso awed by how nature far beyond my control had the power to insulate my senses, to narrow the field of vision and hearing, effectively stopping awareness from extending beyond immediacy. How often do we get to feel so vulnerable without someone to blame? Perhaps the memories call us so intensely to affect a longing not for what had been so simple but rather for a simplicity that can *be*, can live and breathe through the serial storms we weather day-to-day. As adults, we take the ever-present, ever-changing weather for granted. But a storm has the power to sit us down in the midst of our busy lives for a humbling conversation about simplicity and the real extent and domain of our "personal" power. Perhaps, if we're willing to earnestly listen, we'll earn our invite to enter the storm, to experience the storm enter us -where it was never not, as we may rediscover- and from there, perhaps redirect the power of nostalgia to cultivate an open, humbled and inspired state of mind - like that of a child - in the present moment, for the time we only ever truly have, Here and Now. Not surprising anyone, on the other hand, the narcissist does not experience nostalgia for the storm, seeming only to relish those memories in which their total investment in the illusion of control seemed to pay off, cashing out with justification and thus compounded, chrystallized and throttling ignorance. There is something truly poignant and profoundly sad in the thought of such a poverty. That, too, can take my breath away. Thank you again, Doctor, for offering your thoughts, opening this rich forum, and inspiring and sharing with us in this opportunity to earnestly engage dialogue on topics like this! May you have a lovely day and every opportunity to dive deep. ;) In kindness and care, Natasha
I greatly appreciated this. Hardship and suffering have been relentless for over two years. Job losses. Moving. Death of loved ones. I listen to sermons, that encourage "be anxious for nothing....". Of late, I have been feeling hopeless, depressed. For the last few weeks, I have been experiencing numerous flashbacks from throughout my life. I had a sense I was looking for comfort. Trying to relive moments when life was less unsure, more secure.....and innocent. More hope. Less sorrow. I know.....at least I pray....that this season of trials will pass. Hebrews 4 helped a great deal, as did this presentation. Thank you for the gentle, kind approach, Dr. Grande, and the reassurance that being nostalgic is common, albeit, we all have different reasons. God bless.
Wow, I didn't think I would have so much in common with you Dr. Grande. I have the exact same nostalgia triggers as you, except I prefer the Grinch to Charlie Brown. I also love a good storm. I am not sure it has anything to do with nostalgia. When there is so much chaos outside with a thunderstorm, it makes me feel cozy and safe to be inside. It also causes me to stop working for a while and enjoy the moment. Thanks for another great video.
Jeez, thunderstorms and snowstorms just tick me off! But you are terrific and I'm right there with you about the Charlie Brown Xmas special! As a matter of fact, as soon as I hear the theme, I smile all over! Be well!!!
Dr. Grande, I wish I could tell you how much I appreciate your videos in person, but I will have to do so on UA-cam. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us, Dr. Grande.
I also feel nostalgic with so many Nature-related memories, they make me feel good and think about those childhood moments that can only be described as perfect. Id like to share this one: Summer nights in the backyard, watching for falling stars and eating freshly harvested grapes.
Does anyone else have occasional nostalgia attacks? Sometimes I'm up late at night getting lost down memory lane, I watch a nostalgic video after another, clips from old movies, clips from old music, old commercials, then I start thinking about the many people I used to talk to every day growing up in school, uni, neighbors, etc. go thru their facebook looking for people I used to know I now barely remember the name of... then looking at old photos and vids on my external drive from 15 years ago, then reading people's comments about old shops that used to exist in the neighorhood, now all gone, fashion, games, toys, gimmicks that used to be popular in the 80s and 90s... the nostalgia is so intense it hurts, the memories feel so far in time, like they are from another dimension, can't believe that used to be my day-to-day life. Today's world has lost the sense of anticipation and wonder I used to feel growing up. Back then there was a sense of optimism, the future was gonna be brighter, more conform, more stuff, more things to try, better and better music, more and more freedom. I think most people feel nostalgia because they feel disappointed with the present: disappointing technology, dumber music, unwatchable movies, mass surveillance, growing social inequality, young people can no longer buy homes even in teh first world, sense that its getting harder to move up in life, not much to look forward to, what is the point when all the entertainment like music, tv and books are getting worse every year? when unremarkable life goals like buying a house or retiring are becoming pipe dreams? when the future can only be worse than today, people can only look back at the past.
This was so interesting and I agree with the 80’s music and movies. Brings back so many memories. Especially movies that I saw at the theaters when they came out in the 1980’s and early 90’s. I associate music with grade I was in during middle and high school, too. Also, hearing a train whistle in the distance, especially in the evening, is a very nostalgic memory for me. Thank you for this!
Dr Grande, you might be one of my favourite human beings, full stop. Something so reassuring and calming about such a rational, logical, measured and empathetic person, dispassionately breaking down the often disturbing subject of personality disorders. Somehow when Todd talks about a tough topic, I feel reassured that things will be ok. Thank you.
1980's - YES! Certain fragrances make me nostalgic, as do certain angles of the sun as the seasons change, and music. Thunderstorms and heavy fog make me nostalgic for the years I spent in southeast Louisiana. Lovely discussion - thank you for your channel! :)
Thank you for the great insight, Dr. Grande! What brings back nostalgia for me are TV shows and movies mostly, 80's-90's music, and some smells- for example- one time I went with a friend down the street, and there was a smell of meatballs in tomato sauce from one of the houses (I could even smell the spices in it like the bay leaves) and I was immediately transformed to the age of 8, where I used to come home from elementary school, and my grandmother was in the kitchen making the meatballs and mashed potatoes. She always gave me half a potato with some butter before lunch, so I can enjoy it while sitting and watching "ThunderCats" on TV, all while waiting for my sister to come home from school, so we can eat together. I remember one time I found a show on UA-cam (Jim Henson's the Tale of the Bunny Picnic) and it brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me of the times when my sister and I used to watch it on TV (it was usually aired during a holiday). I honestly think this is the best feeling sometimes. The greatest escapism from daily hardships.
I became depressed in my early 20s and stayed that way for over a decade. Consequently my 20s flew by with me not paying very close attention or attempting to savor the unique circumstances of my life at the time. Now I'm painfully nostalgic for both the years immediately preceding my depression, but also a few choice moments that occurred after I became depressed. Not only were these special moments suddenly very far away, but I realized I hadn't documented them. I never journaled or took pictures. I also had thrown away most of the worldly objects that would have worked as a connection to my past. So now my nostalgia is strong and deeply connected with the feeling of fear. Fear of what I have lost, fear of knowing that all I have are memories that will fade if I don't reinforce them constantly. Nostalgia is like a millstone tied around my neck, pulling me under. It's a burden I carry every day, and it's an addiction I must constantly slake.
I was moved away from family and the state I lived in when young and I did not adjust well to it for many years. Therefore snow and rain made me think of where I used to live and always made me nostalgic.
Thank you! All your videos are so good and thorough; but I really enjoy this one... especially when you shared your nostalgic moments. Very endearing. Thank you.
I think you are not alone with the weather triggers, every time there's a summer storm going on I step outside and just breathe in the humid smell. For some reason it gets me every time. 🤷♀️😂
Well I now know what I have, Nostalgia. My husband died in 2011. I miss him so much. I’m getting better now but he was the love of my life. I had 30 years with him but I miss my love everyday.
Texas Gal it’s very sad but also beautiful that you experienced such a loving relationship.
I am very sorry for your loss. Glad you’re doing better, now.
💔
❤❤❤VIRTUAL HUGS❤❤❤😔
I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve lost someone I love too. Thinking of you x
AMEN TEX.HANG IN THERE.
MOST PEOPLE DON'T GET US.
I was widowed young, I understand. Grieving is hard work. There was an online group “Widow to Widow” it helped me feel less alone. Sorry for your loss. ❤️
Dr Grande leaves no stone unturned
I'm nostalgic when thinking about the time when some stones were turned, thanks Dr Grande
The sound of cars in the rain trigger nostalgia in me or rather one specific memory. I was about 6 or 7 years old and it was raining. We used to live in a busy part of town,so there was a lot of traffic and noise. I remember it was warm outside,I was in my bed taking a nap,my mom opened the window, she tucked me in, kissed me and was very affectionate towards me,which she rarely was. I remember listening to the cars in the rain through an open window and the feeling of warmth and safety. I still open my window whenever it rains and go back to that moment when I felt completely loved and safe. Thank you for this video. I appreciate you sharing your personal nostalgia.
That is absolutely beautiful!!!!!
@@cindyrhodes ❤️
I love this, and it has a similar feel to one of my own earliest happy memories.
Sweet. I felt that ❤ splashing in puddles on the blacktop driveway in the pouring rain. 😊
This might sound strange but watered down Coca-Cola does it for me somrtimes because I remember when I was small my mom was holding me, which she didn't really do, and she let me finish her watered down Coca-Cola.
I am 40 and have dinner by candlelight with jazz music and a fireplace screen saver. I enjoy slowing down and just being in the moment.
What's your fave "candlelight jazz"? You got me curious. I'd have to choose Johnny Hodges or Errol Garner. Even if that's kind of cliched. :)
That's actually a good idea.
Nice 😎
Since I don't have enough income to afford a separate computer and dining table, I can select the visual and sound background for my dinner pretty easily as well, and I often tremendously enjoy it.
I have a significant olfactory nostalgia trigger where the fresh air through my window each night shifts to a very distinct and different smell which brings me back to a variety of times in my life and as soon as I feel it come over me in my bed I put my phone down, turn off the TV and breathe deeply. It puts me to contented sleep in 4 breaths! I don't even ascribe specific happy episodes to it, my brain just likes it! Works for me! Great topic! And the unrequited love......ouch.
@Cuomo Nocera de' Pagani Moloch this reply confuses me. I'm not clear on the source of the hostility.
Interesting! I have nostalgia for specific 70's songs ... this music brings me back when I was a teenager ...
Love cool fresh air flowing thru my window at bedtime. Feeling it now!
I have the same. Especially for when it's raining. It always brings me back to when I was a child and would sit on our porch when we had thunder storms.
Strangely, I have this for the smell of books. My parents took me to the library every week (Wednesdays btw) and I love the smell of old books.
@@TheSahand68 me too! I sometimes put on a UA-cam 70s songs video and it carries me right back. Music really informed my whole life but 70s songs are what put the lump in my throat! ❤
I know you don't really like to tell about yourself that much so this is really a privilege for us to be able to hear you talk about what makes you feel nostalgic
I know I have nostalgia for the 90s and early 00s, before everyone started using smartphones all the time and you could have a conversation with people more face to face. Sometimes I also fondly think back to when I was a kid and looked forward to watching cartoons on Saturday mornings and after school. 80s music and old movies make me nostalgic too!
I get nostalgia all the time! One thing that gets me every time is the smell of the original dial bar of soap. It reminds me of taking a bath at my aunts house when I was a kid. Then, I remember the woods behind her house with the creek. There was a big tree that had fallen over. I could walk up it and sit on it over the creek. I miss it. I would love to do that now. I was always outside back then. Sometimes, when I feel the wind blowing or hear the leaves blowing in the wind, or the sound of thunder and rain pouring outside of my window.. it reminds me of my childhood... A few times a week, I get nostalgia about being a kid.. just the way I would feel. Carefree, more open, I didn't have insecurities. Every year around holidays like Christmas or Halloween, I get very nostalgic about how it felt when I was little. It doesn't feel as magical anymore..... I love playing old games, like Mario and Zelda with my oldest son because it takes me back to those days as well. Great video! This makes me feel I need to get more in touch with my inner child...
This explains why some of my used-to-be friends always talked about high school. Seems like they never outgrew their teenage years.
That is a shame. I knew lots of folks like that. I personally am glad I got OUT of there. There is a saying that some people "peak" in high school and then find it difficult to excel in life.
I have never attended a reunion. Just the thought is almost enough to make me break out in a cold sweat almost 4 decades later. I think some would say I took all that a bit too personally. :/
I didn't even peak at HS and yet I'm a failure in life. I guess some us are just not made to be worthy
Gabriel Palma aw come on now, maybe you don’t know your worth, but it’s there!
@Manek Iridius it’s not false hope my friend, everyone has inherent worth. Trauma can make a person forget that. But your worth is there even if you don’t see it right now
I get nostalgic when looking at christmas lights too. In fact, I don't celebrate Christmas anymore except for driving around and looking at the different lights. Thank you Dr G.!
2nd comment but important: I really loved hearing your personal nostalgia . It humanized you as no other video before has done, and I'm all about watching Rudolph or Charlie Brown in a snowstorm❤
Certain songs trigger me...my lost innocence. I would like to think I’m not self-pitying but rather healthily remembering something lost. Good video and information, Dr. Grande. ❤️
I was not going to comment because I typically don't like to on these videos... But when you brought up a Charlie Brown Christmas special I got the nostalgic feeling that was awesome. Thanks for the great content Doc.
Aaah,.... now I finally understand why the doctor is so productive. There hasn't been much thunderstorms in Delaware lately 😁. Thanks for sharing your nostalgias Dr. Grande 😃🇳🇱. The eighties music 🎤. yeah!
Tears For Fears song 'Everybody Wants To Rule The World!' My ultimate nostalgic memory. That song triggers my 10 year old self in 1985, long summer days, playing with our friends. Bbq's, riding our bikes. Going to Lavalette beach in NJ...😊. Good times. Not all good, but probably the most pure and carefree time in my life. Thank you Dr Grande. Now I'm off to listen to that song!
Your comment got my foot tapping LOL great song!
Jersey beaches! :) I have vivid memories of wandering along the beach near Elberon and finding an actual tide pool, which I had all to myself all one afternoon. Tide pools weren't very common there, and now I wonder if it's just something I imagined. Yet all I need is to hear is a seagull flying overhead (even though I'm several hours from salt water now and in the city instead of the 'burbs) and that pool just comes back in beautiful full color, and a memory of almost-heavenly peace. :)
Love Tears For Fears too 🤗
Shout... Shout... LET IT ALL OUTTTT
Yes! Songs From the Big Chair! 💗💖💗
It's a fine line between Memory Lane and Memory Lame.
Lol
lolll
You aren't kidding. This can be a huge deal breaker, right?
The sound of trains approaching at grade crossings and their horns makes me feel comforted, and nostalgic.
Also, re-reading a book that meant something to me when I was younger, or read to my children when they were younger makes me feel contentment.
In fact, I happen to have a copy of charlottes web here that I was about a third of the way through reading to my four-year-old granddaughter when the pandemic broke, so decided to pick it up again, even though it’s a children’s book.
I miss her SO much, but she’s all over the place on FaceTime, so that will have to wait.
I started from the beginning yesterday evening and once I get done with all my busyness here, I’m going to sit outside on a beautiful day and read it.
Thank you Doc.
You’re seeing a lot of us through these unsettled, strange, days. I appreciate that!
😊
This was a great vid Dr.G! It reminds me of Al Bundy from MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. He scored the winning touchdown at Polk High School and it was referenced all the time in the show!😉🤪 truly tho it seems a bit sad. 80s music makes me nostalgic as well😁Hope your day is good!
The first American comedy show I actually found hilarious
A lot of classic 80s music felt nostalgic at the time - particularly New Wave. To me there seems a lot of sadness and regret in the chord progressions and key changes. Maybe this could be why so many on UA-cam who never actually lived in the 80s are saying they feel nostalgia for a time they never actually lived through. In fact - it is a nostalgia for what it presented in films and popular culture of the time, which people never really lived through. This following clip is a new 80s song, made by young people: ua-cam.com/video/ri9IefTuNzc/v-deo.html
@Krunchy Vurn Bictim hahaha that's what I found funny with that comedy always holding on to the glory of his touchdown, just Once, not exactly in the NFL haha
Thank you. I fondly recall being nostalgic.
I'm highly nostalgic, and I have the thunderstorm thing too. It may be because when I was a child (in the 1970s) I was afraid of thunderstorms. That would bring on protection and comfort from my parents and grandma. Also, since thunderstorms occur in the summer mainly, it could be associated with that. My mom was a teacher, and this was her summer vacation. My father and her were closer during the summer and my mom behaved more like a "stay at home" mom.
My father grew up during tough times, the 30s and 40s, poverty and war in a Third World country. Yet he talks about them like a lost Paradise. He's nostalgic for his childhood and youth. He's just turned 90. He doesn't like the present and fears the future. He has nothing left but the gilded past. It's really sad.
Aging is very hard, mentally. An woman in her 90s who was very wise told me, " Aging isn't for sissys, it's very hard and you better get your head on straight before you get old". The older I get I know she was right.
But to add, I think at 90, your Grandpa is very normal to have his feelings. It's OK, maybe he would like to talk and tell stories of his youth, I'm sure you'd be a very good listener.
I'm sorry, I meant your Father.
I think a big attraction to nostalgia is that we already know the outcome of past events. Even if they were bad outcomes, there's little or no uncertainty about what happened. Looking to the future and not knowing what to expect can be scary.
Very interesting! I know several people who bring up nostalgic topics. I actually enjoy talking with my mom about happy memories. She is approaching 90 years of age, and I can see that we use positive memories as both a bonding tool and as way to both kindling appreciation for the positive qualities of people in our past and creating a happy experience/atmosphere for the day. Thank you so much for this.
Mine is so similar to a couple of others. One of my earliest and favorite memories: My sister and I were toddlers/preschoolers. It was summer, and our parents took us for a ride in their red '58 VW Bug convertible. It was dusk. They took us to Dairy Queen, and got us the tiny little 5 cent cones that they used to sell.
On the way back home, we got sleepy. The cicadas and crickets were chirping, and as we pulled up into the driveway, the smell of the lilac bush next to the driveway filled the air. They picked us up and carried us into the house. The night seemed magical.
So, the memory is triggered by the sound of an old VW Beetle, the sound of cicadas and/or crickets, the smell of lilacs, summer nights in general.
Snowstorm nostalgia confirmed from Germany as well. Always remember once going out and taking a hike through the fields. Good times!
Love your videos so much Dr Grande! Been quarantined in the house I grew up in since March and I've been severely, almost obsessively, thinking about my childhood. I tend to get a little depressed when I think about these things but hearing your insight on this cheered me up quite a bit. Thanks for the frequent uploads, listening to your videos has been a highlight of my days.
Me too. Living in the house I grew up in and lots of memories / thoughts from the past keep coming to mind 24/7. From this video I realized I don't have as much nostalgia as much as I thought I did, from the definition. But I have more historical nostalgia than anything else.
My ex lived in the past. Romanticized it. I wonder if age causes people to be more nostalgic being that they have less time in front of them. He REALLY lived in the past. Only 62
I think that does happen as you get older. You get more wistful about paths not taken or what ifs...
Because the future shrinks and the past expands. You can't go back to being a teenager and having those first off moments occurring
So does my mom. Like don't throw away the present, she's 72 and we don't know how much time we have.
My teenage years were terrible, yet I’m nostalgic for them because I’ve managed to make my life worse in the present.
Not really. Some people use the past as the background for their escapist fantasies...and also tend to abuse substances. A lot of these are covert narcissists.
Regarding nostalgia, it’s common that rites of passage like graduations bring us fond memories. I wonder how students who are graduating this year and finishing their education will feel years from now. That’s certainly a commencement they never thought they would experience.
For anyone graduating this year I want to offer my warm Congratulations to the class of 2020!! 🎊🎈🎉 🎓👩🏻🎓👨🏻🎓
Thank you for your kind words. My sweet youngest baby boy is graduating this year. I think the whole covid thing that's ruined his graduation has been way harder on me than him. In fact, I know it has. I can't stop thinking about the first day I walked him to kindergarten. Just makes me so sad how his school career turned out for him in the end. I'm trying to stay positive 😔
I am going to replay this video because it totally resonates with me. I attended two reunions this year, and the second reunion caused me to take up with an old boyfriend. That in turn has produced some limited memories of our prior relationship in youth. Has he changed or is my memory deficient? I believe I romanticized the past, meaning that I remember a relationship as better than it actually was. As usual, Dr. Grande has given me much to think about.
I feel nostalgic when I remember my “special pet friend” or pet friends that are not with me anymore. Past “Pet friends” in a way are like that music from the 70’s and 80’s and being younger, things in life that we can’t have back.
Thunderstorms. I love them for some reason so romanticised in my head.
By far, this is my favorite video! All of your videos are incredibly interesting and have been most helpful especially since I left my covert narcissistic husband of 30 years 3 months ago. Thank you!!
Okay, Doc! You're a true 80s baby, huh?💪🏽💪🏽 The title had me nervous since I'm pretty nostalgic, but I'm glad to see that I'm not a narcissistic or psychopathic nostalgic type of person!😂 Thanks for yet another interesting and informative video!👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I also love thunderstorms. I love snow too. If I had a gun to my head, I’d be hard pressed to name a happy childhood memory. I associate the rainstorm with being alone outside or sitting next to an open window, just “being”.
NOT being the recipient or the observer of my mother’s poison. Walking to and from school, in Chicago, especially in the deep snow, was a good feeling. Heavy snow yields such a deep satisfying hush while simultaneously offering a clean undisturbed vista. This made me realize at a very young age that not everything was ruined.
I could see that even if it was a non human reference, there were things that were good.
I often wished that I could be a tree. Strong, unharmed, content to feel the sun upon my “face” and the rain upon my “skin”
A thousand tomorrows for one more yesterday.
Thunderstorms: me too! Slow summers collecting bugs...
The smell the furnace gives off when you turn the heat on for the first time in the winter, takes me back to my childhood home.
I need to watch this again. To say that nostalgia is a distorted view of an event is kind of an OMG moment. I have gone back to a "big old house" I lived in at eleven years old. It is a small two-story house, not a big house. I was 5'2" at eleven so it's not like it's because I was little. This has happened with me and nostalgia quite a bit over the years. As a teen in the 70s with a narcissistic, lying horrible older sister, I look back with great nostalgia. Yet, this was actually not a fun time for me. So maybe it's easier to pick out the good spots to focus on and even distort them for some kind of comfort. It's the distortion part that you bring up that just floors me, Dr. Grande. I feel a bit of freedom with it. Hmmm
The personal sharing in the end 😄
My most felt nostalgic feeling is in winter, but not any winter weather, there's a specific thing in the air that reminds me of the past, a specific weather. Then I just burst in tears because I know I won't experience the same past anymore. Its related to a previous relationship, my first love.
Its weird because I feel it every year almost at the same months.
Came to comment this exact thing. It is nice to know I’m not the only one
@@auri7442 thank you. Nice to know too :)
It feels really good but also sad at the same time..
pretty amazing what a little change in weather can do, it always amazes me. Its almost literally takes me back to those times, because I can feel myself back there but not in my body
Me, too!! Every fall I remember a relationship a had with a man I miss so much.
Do you mean the crisp air in the winter when it's less humid? That triggers nostalgia for me but usually in autumn instead of winter.
Ooh cuppa tea time, dog asleep after his breakfast and my 'covid crochet' project shaping up on my lap. Dr Grande popping up in perfect timing. With Covid bringing out many better traits in us around so much panic and grief- I wonder what our memories of it will be like in 50yrs. Caroline, 36 🏴. Thanks Dr Grande always ♥️ your content and persona 👏👏👏👏👏
@Turquoise Cheetah well that's blown my mind before a nap. Am trying to fathom what your saying. For example flu kills more ppl than the covid has yearly- so why would they add in additional illnesses... Yeah, it can't be properly isolated as it's airborne and mutates, regenerates which has made it so deadly so far. I respect David Icke and I do try and feel thru others opinions--but what real looking into it can we do. Where do we begin? Do u know anyone whom has passed or survived covid 19? OK, think I ve replied to the best of my ability today. Peace and love anyway. Caroline and Eloi the coursing hound. Scottish Highlands
I have the same exact feelings about rain or thunderstorms and snowstorms. It's been like that as far back as I can remember. My mind stops racing and stands in awe of mother nature.
I definitely agree with you re: thunderstorms! Maybe snowstorms too but that’s partly because they’re so rare in the uk
If I could have one wish, it would be time travel.
If I could have just one wish, I wish you could see the way you kiss.
Sorry. (Dodges tomatoes)
l quit drinking 32 years ago and one of the weirdest things l remember while going through rehab was an exercise where we were to envision all the times we had drank alcohol and actually had a positive memory about the experience, l believe l had drank more than 3,000 times and really messed up my life and functionality as a person by this time and while doing an inventory of my escapades l could come up with about 6 really positive times l had while drinking and a couple thousand times when things got messed up yet the 6 positive times always kept me looking for that experience again completely while destroying everything around me and not facing up to my reality at the time.
Thank you Doctor for sharing your personal experiences with this topic. I wonder if there is a connection between nostalgia and hoarding, they say that for hoarders every item has a story and reminds them of a person or event.
I enjoyed hearing your personal nostalgic triggers. I love rainstorms and feel some nostalgia of watching nature. Not listening to music, reading or tv, but just watching the sky and trees. Of course I live in Colorado so rain isn’t a common occurrence here. Snowstorms bring mixed feelings for me. I grew up on a farm and we had a lot of animals to tend so no matter what the weather was, how cold or snowy I had to get up early to do chores. Cows have to be milked twice a day, water unfrozen, feed given and pens cleaned. However, once the chores were done, then it was a warm house, something good smelling in the oven for dinner, warm beds and the security of my folks and my sister and I all safely tucked in. I’m 58 now and my hubby and I are retired, but I tried to give our son happy memories. I think he does. Thank you for an informative and pleasant topic today.
A recent customer at my workplace (family owned produce and flower market) shared with me that he used to come to our business with his mom and aunt when he was a little boy...
"Ahh... good memories," I commented.
"No," he responded. _"Great_ memories!"
I am so blessed to work there.
This is something I find rather funny. An area where a friend of mine lives ‘was’ more criminalized before video cameras were used in commercial areas. When my friend and I are in her backyard we often overhear her neighbors talk about the ‘good ole times when they robbed convenience stores. They got drunk at the local restaurant bar with the proceeds and had fights. They seem extremely frustrated those days are over. It reminds me of Danny DeVito movies. Thanks for letting us know the difference.
I can't express how much I appreciate these videos.
60’s music does it for me! I was privileged to have my teen years in the wonderful sixties, and even now I only have to hear the first bar of one of those songs and it all comes back 👌. Good nostalgia, I think!
Music is a huge nostalgia trigger for me, I ended up making a massive Spotify playlist of those songs and sadly I'm sort of desensitised to them now haha
When that happens to me, I put the list away for awhile and go on a trawl for new things to listen to. Then the old stuff regains its charm.
Sadly? Music is a huge trigger for me as well. I hate the felling of nostalgia so I'm going to create a playlist of my nostalgic tracks and maybe I can become desensitized to them.
I often experience “negative nostalgia” but what I find different about myself is that I kind of enjoy it. If I’m no longer attached to the pain of the memory, it feels comforting to remember the dark times for me. Maybe it’s because I can reflect on how far I’ve come since, but I’ve always loved the waves of negative memories (heartbreaks especially)
Thanks for providing clarity about nostalgia ... this gives me insight into my nostalgia ...
Seems like pandemics and big storms bring us all together because of our awareness of the need for safety and for most of the lucky ones we have the coziness of it to console ourselves. Much like in winter when I’m riding my motorcycle I get dressed really warm and there’s something about being out in the cold but dressed really warm that makes me feel really alive and well.
I suffered through the pain of nostalgia for many years because of my idyllic childhood. I couldn’t even keep photos of my family around because they were such triggers and I love everyone of my siblings and my parents. But a lot of Buddhist meditation cured me of all of that and now I just do my best to reconstruct the loveliness of my childhood knowing it could never be the same and that’s OK now.
GREAT TOPIC DR GRANDE! I’m so glad to know you take time out for snow storms! It’s scary really how productive you are but you have many fans who look forward to you every day!
Certain smells can be very nostalgic for me. A flood of feelings and memories flow over me. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for addressing weather nostalgia. Many of my friends & family in MN get it bc our seasons are so distinct. Even just changes in amount of daylight trigger it for me.
Great video Dr Grande.
How do you manage to upload your videos with such consistency?
Always happy to get the notification.
Keep up the good work
I recently returned to my childhood hometown after quite a time away and not only the sites and different landmarks brought up a feeling of nostalgia but there was a particular smell to the summer air there that brought me immediately back to my childhood. I had a sense of happiness as soon as the scent hit me. Scents are so powerful.
Hehe good morning I was just watching a 2019 vid of yours and the notification popped up 🤟🏻
I love Christmas and Thunderstorms to. I love the slower pace times and being with family and friends. I buy Charlie Brown every year, give it away to someone young in my family and do it again. 1 of the benefits of this Pandemic... I love to drive down the clear street and freeways. It reminds me when times were simpler
I love Charlie Brown 💕 gentle loving memories. And Ivory soap lol which I don't actually use. But my parents always have it at their house.
One point you made in this video about nostalgia involving intoxication struck a chord with me, for a period of time in my life I was prescribed opiate painkillers for nerve pain resulting from a surgery. These years marked a major deterioration in my mental health, I became addicted to the painkillers and entered a major downturn in life isolating myself, yet, I often experience a nostalgia for those times I was numb from the pills while everything crashed around me. I often find it concerning that I feel a nostalgia for such a negative period of my life, especially considering how much I've grown since then. Great video Dr Grande, always thought provoking.
I find that when the sun is making the hills and houses glow that pink hue in the evenings, that gives me nostalgia, if just a comfortable feeling i get inside, and it makes me feel extremely calm and happy
I used to be VERY nostalgic about events in my childhood & up through my 30's. Then I went through years of therapy & learned that if I was honest, I was a horribly selfish, insecure person that did terrible things to my then friends. My nostalgic memories were NOT what I thought they were! I am currently trying to make amends to old friends who (rightly) kicked me out of their lives. Also, I try to be a better friend to the few friends I still have.
I also get nostalgia from thunderstorms, I remember watching the flashes with my family and friends from our old house and feeling incredibly scared and very safe at the same time. When I was at an early age (4-5 years old) and up until now, I have gotten intense nostalgia from seeing country side scenes, with yellowish sunlight, fields, some meadows, things like that. Don't know why, perhaps because of children's shows I watched as a child? It's also very perplexing that a five year old can feel nostalgia. Furthermore, there's music, colors, things, events (like holidays), etc. that also trigger nostalgia for me (I'm clearly a really nostalgic person). Really interesting stuff!
I have serious nostalgia with snowstorms. My parent's jobs would close, all of us kids would be at home, and things were close 1970'sand early 80's. A time of togetherness that no other weather allowed.
Yes, I have let, and have seen, nostalgia trap people in the past.
I think it's really nice that you have chosen to share some of the things that make you feel nostalgic with us. I assume most of us understand that being a professional you have to be quite measured in your videos but watching so many of your videos it's refreshing to get a glimpse of "Todd Grande" as well as Dr Todd Grande.
Just listening your examples of nostalgic memories triggered a whole series of flash memories for me - some better than others! I studied memory as part of my degree and I had always thought of memory as a learning tool or organisation of our experiences from a biological/cognitive approach but the one connection I didn't make at the time was the very real sense of feeling that can be recreated and becomes an actual physical comfort. An interesting video.
Excellent video. I paused my career in the medical field to homeschool five of our seven kids through a private Christian school so they could play sports and participate in the extracurricular activities of the school. I was on coaching staff for softball and football at the school for 11 seasons. I'm now 46 and back in the medical field but often find myself painfully missing those years, especially because our oldest Son passed away during his sophomore season.
I’m so sorry!
@@Job.Well.Done_01 Muchísimas gracias. I sincerely appreciate your compassion. 💙🙏
Pretty spot on. I yearn for the days when life felt so much more innocent. Perhaps, I _really_ miss how people were more compassionate before.
You can even see this as evidenced in the U.S. TV shows and sitcoms. People were more deep then, and there were ALWAYS valuable lessons to learn from those shows.
There was a sense of wholesomeness I cherish. It safeguarded me from all of the chaos around (life in the ghetto). In a way, it helped shape my values and world view, all of which I _dearly miss._ I cry thinking what went wrong in today’s society.
Thunderstorms don't bring on nostalgia. I just love them, especially at night. Hearing the thunder,, seeing the lightening. Awesome scary.
Thank you for another fascinating video Dr Grande :)
Sopranos series premier opens with Tony telling Dr. Melfi : “It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that and I know. But lately, I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over.” “ The therapist replies: “ Many Americans, I think feel that way. “
Hi Dr. Grande - great video as always. In a similar vein, yesterday a professor told me that a narcissist by definition cannot be wise. He was specifically referencing narcissistic leaders in business or healthcare. Is this true? I don’t really know what he meant but he said it was “supported by the literature”.
PS. I also get nostalgia from big storms! It reminds me of being scared but having my mom close by (:
Love this one. I get nostalia with the teary eyes holding my titanium backpacking mug, feeling its texture in my hands and hearing the sound the little folding wire handle makes when I open it up. I can close my eyes and just be in the wilderness again. Sense it all around me like a time travel machine. Smells, sounds, places, people I shared those times with. All the places I have been with it. All the morning coffee's in the frost when the sun was rising beaming through the trees, evenings making soup or having a sip of whiskey by the fire. I haven't drank in 2 years, not hiked in over 3 years. About a year ago diagnosed with CFS/ME and am now mostly houseboound. Knowing those may have been my only days in the wilderness makes it all the more important an item to me. It represents a time I felt truly free, was pursuing ny dreams, making money and having the time to hike (rare!) had a ton of fun with my ex who taught me to backpack (we were like kids again every trip), and never thought in a million years a virus, stress, trauma would change it all. For myself and everyone. I didn't ever consider myself a person who took things for granted, but there are days it simply hurts to not be able to go back. Anyways. I think this is why many of us get so attached to certain "things". They become irreplaceable.
Aaaaaaaw i love your sharing your nostalgic triggers! That snowy Xmas day with 80s music and an old film to watch, ... that is a nice thought!
This made me ask myself what makes me nostalgic. I didn't really begin living until 30 years ago (I'm 60+) and I'm positively nostalgic only about my maternal grandparents and camping 🏕 experiences with my awesome husband. Any show about the wild areas of Alaska grab my heart.
Maybe it is the childhood pain that fuels a person to be mostly forward-thinking and goal-oriented. We don't really want to go back.....
i did not realize being nostalgic was a mental health issue! i am an incredibly nostalgic person. i constantly live in the past and did not realize that most people don't do that. i have a hard time understanding my husband and his mom in that they either don't remember their past or care about the people in it. even though i have been in a very happy marriage for 21 years, i constantly play back in my mind the relationship i had with with the young man i dated before the one i did marry (different marriage, which failed in 2 years). if i had not met my current husband, i would be almost desperate to have the ability to go back in time and "fix" that breakup.
The smell of burning wood especially in cooler temperatures reminds me of my grandmother and her farm. Church bells always take me back to a little town in Italy, I love this connection. Cut grass...slow summers.. I have a few but all are pleasant.....I agree with the storms,not sure it is nostalgic for me but just enjoy watching nature acting up. I grew up partly in the south where lightning storms shooting across a hot humid sky ...something to see
The starry night sky gives me nostalgia.
Thunderstorms do it for me too, but I don't like sunny weather and actively avoid the sun. It's not just nostalgia that these two things make me feel it's a very far out feeling like I'm connecting to some inner part of myself that I cannot see.
Anyone else?
Dr Grande, this was one of your most interesting videos yet. My mother's mother committed suicide before i was born, and I have witnessed her coping with it through what i would definitely call pathological nostalgia throughout her life. I also share your specific nostalgias for christmas, 80s music, and rainstorms (i grew up in florida, so no snow). You must be in your mid 40s.
To nostalge: The action of seeking out media from ones past, specifically their childhood, for the purpose of remembering those times; to feel nostalgia. (Urban Dictionary)
What about looking at stuff of the past to appreciate how much you have outgrown all that junk?
I guess I'm not nostalgic because I tend to throw away stuff as soon as I am done with them.
The video I didn't know that I needed to watch. I haven't heard anyone else talk about this topic. Thank you!
I feel the longing for a simpler time, too. I get nostalgic for the 90s when I was a kid and there were a few word processors in people's homes, but there was no internet. It really did seem like a less hurried time, and we enjoyed the company we had around us. I can't remember how my mom and dad got around on trips without GPS. ☹
I'd love to go back.
Thank you Dr Grande. 👍🌹 Suddenly I feel the need for a storm. Maybe nostalgia is the longing for one's youth and a do-over.
I feel the exact same way. ~~ I'm always curious to read what you have to say, btw.
@@LuciaInman Thank you. What a lovely thing to write to me. XO.
80's music is super nostalgic for me too. Everytime I hear the synth in the songs especially ballads it really takes me back.
'A longing for a simpler time'. Totally agree, Dr Grande. For me it was High School in the mid 70's. As a musician it was music.......so if I hear Frank Zappa or maybe Joni Mitchell it will trigger these times, the atmosphere and the vibes. It was definitely a slower world back then. Thanks again for an excellent presentation.
Hello, Dr. Grande. Thank you; we, the People of the Internet/World needed (need, any day all day) the purity of this kind of wholesome, fully human sharing. Truly precious and sweet. My attention caught on those times you said "I don't know why...", indicating perhaps some feelings of vulnerability and thus all the more sweet. ☺️
I, too, have memories of storms affected by nostalgia. I was a child during the back-to-back El Niño/La Niña storms that battered Northern California in the mid-90s. The streets in our poor neighborhood flooded, largely disabling us from leaving our homes without a car. The memory of these nights of our lives insulated like the imaginal cells of would-be-moths swirling within a cocoon of white noise calls to itself with such a longing that can take my breath away. Perhaps, for the blank backdrop of my early life against which they stand, storms arise most prominently and just as any massive body, I am subject to their gravity, drawn in often to mine these deep, rich deposits for contemplation.
So, l'll speculate on the power of thunderstorms to trigger nostalgia because this also seems quite common, judging from the comments. :)
Perhaps these storms still rage in our hearts to call us back to a time before we had completed our training in conceit, before we had fully bought into the illusion of control. There was never anything personal about the thunder or snow storm. We had no power to affect change in the course of the storm yet the storm seemed to have absolute power to change our lives and for each of us uniquely yet seemingly without judgment.
In a time when life ignorantly, inexorably marched toward blind, uncaring self-centered stasis, perhaps these storms gave us some respite in a compassionate moment to directly experience our insignificance and our powerlessness. Without the storm explicitly demanding for our surrender or even seeming to notice it we did, we surrendered - what else could we do? So its rage shrouded our huddled lives in sheets of blinding rain, rattled our windows with booming, impersonal, ultimately benign threats, flooded our streets and filled us with awe until finally - perhaps having fulfilled this singular purpose - it passed on.
I did not grow up with snow storms but I found myself recently experiencing nostalgia for a snow storm I met only less than a year and a half ago. Isn't that something? It amazed me that so much visual noise could be silent to the ears but moreso awed by how nature far beyond my control had the power to insulate my senses, to narrow the field of vision and hearing, effectively stopping awareness from extending beyond immediacy. How often do we get to feel so vulnerable without someone to blame?
Perhaps the memories call us so intensely to affect a longing not for what had been so simple but rather for a simplicity that can *be*, can live and breathe through the serial storms we weather day-to-day.
As adults, we take the ever-present, ever-changing weather for granted. But a storm has the power to sit us down in the midst of our busy lives for a humbling conversation about simplicity and the real extent and domain of our "personal" power. Perhaps, if we're willing to earnestly listen, we'll earn our invite to enter the storm, to experience the storm enter us -where it was never not, as we may rediscover- and from there, perhaps redirect the power of nostalgia to cultivate an open, humbled and inspired state of mind - like that of a child - in the present moment, for the time we only ever truly have, Here and Now.
Not surprising anyone, on the other hand, the narcissist does not experience nostalgia for the storm, seeming only to relish those memories in which their total investment in the illusion of control seemed to pay off, cashing out with justification and thus compounded, chrystallized and throttling ignorance.
There is something truly poignant and profoundly sad in the thought of such a poverty. That, too, can take my breath away.
Thank you again, Doctor, for offering your thoughts, opening this rich forum, and inspiring and sharing with us in this opportunity to earnestly engage dialogue on topics like this!
May you have a lovely day and every opportunity to dive deep. ;)
In kindness and care,
Natasha
I greatly appreciated this. Hardship and suffering have been relentless for over two years. Job losses. Moving. Death of loved ones. I listen to sermons, that encourage "be anxious for nothing....". Of late, I have been feeling hopeless, depressed. For the last few weeks, I have been experiencing numerous flashbacks from throughout my life. I had a sense I was looking for comfort. Trying to relive moments when life was less unsure, more secure.....and innocent. More hope. Less sorrow. I know.....at least I pray....that this season of trials will pass. Hebrews 4 helped a great deal, as did this presentation. Thank you for the gentle, kind approach, Dr. Grande, and the reassurance that being nostalgic is common, albeit, we all have different reasons. God bless.
Wow, I didn't think I would have so much in common with you Dr. Grande. I have the exact same nostalgia triggers as you, except I prefer the Grinch to Charlie Brown. I also love a good storm. I am not sure it has anything to do with nostalgia. When there is so much chaos outside with a thunderstorm, it makes me feel cozy and safe to be inside. It also causes me to stop working for a while and enjoy the moment. Thanks for another great video.
Jeez, thunderstorms and snowstorms just tick me off! But you are terrific and I'm right there with you about the Charlie Brown Xmas special! As a matter of fact, as soon as I hear the theme, I smile all over! Be well!!!
Dr. Grande, I wish I could tell you how much I appreciate your videos in person, but I will have to do so on UA-cam. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us, Dr. Grande.
Now do the Columnine shooters!!! Just kidding! 🤗
I also feel nostalgic with so many Nature-related memories, they make me feel good and think about those childhood moments that can only be described as perfect. Id like to share this one: Summer nights in the backyard, watching for falling stars and eating freshly harvested grapes.
Does anyone else have occasional nostalgia attacks? Sometimes I'm up late at night getting lost down memory lane, I watch a nostalgic video after another, clips from old movies, clips from old music, old commercials, then I start thinking about the many people I used to talk to every day growing up in school, uni, neighbors, etc. go thru their facebook looking for people I used to know I now barely remember the name of... then looking at old photos and vids on my external drive from 15 years ago, then reading people's comments about old shops that used to exist in the neighorhood, now all gone, fashion, games, toys, gimmicks that used to be popular in the 80s and 90s... the nostalgia is so intense it hurts, the memories feel so far in time, like they are from another dimension, can't believe that used to be my day-to-day life. Today's world has lost the sense of anticipation and wonder I used to feel growing up. Back then there was a sense of optimism, the future was gonna be brighter, more conform, more stuff, more things to try, better and better music, more and more freedom. I think most people feel nostalgia because they feel disappointed with the present: disappointing technology, dumber music, unwatchable movies, mass surveillance, growing social inequality, young people can no longer buy homes even in teh first world, sense that its getting harder to move up in life, not much to look forward to, what is the point when all the entertainment like music, tv and books are getting worse every year? when unremarkable life goals like buying a house or retiring are becoming pipe dreams? when the future can only be worse than today, people can only look back at the past.
Interesting as always. Thanks Dr Grande. 😀
This was so interesting and I agree with the 80’s music and movies. Brings back so many memories. Especially movies that I saw at the theaters when they came out in the 1980’s and early 90’s. I associate music with grade I was in during middle and high school, too. Also, hearing a train whistle in the distance, especially in the evening, is a very nostalgic memory for me. Thank you for this!
Dr Grande, you might be one of my favourite human beings, full stop. Something so reassuring and calming about such a rational, logical, measured and empathetic person, dispassionately breaking down the often disturbing subject of personality disorders. Somehow when Todd talks about a tough topic, I feel reassured that things will be ok. Thank you.
1980's - YES! Certain fragrances make me nostalgic, as do certain angles of the sun as the seasons change, and music. Thunderstorms and heavy fog make me nostalgic for the years I spent in southeast Louisiana. Lovely discussion - thank you for your channel! :)
Thank you for the great insight, Dr. Grande!
What brings back nostalgia for me are TV shows and movies mostly, 80's-90's music, and some smells- for example- one time I went with a friend down the street, and there was a smell of meatballs in tomato sauce from one of the houses (I could even smell the spices in it like the bay leaves) and I was immediately transformed to the age of 8, where I used to come home from elementary school, and my grandmother was in the kitchen making the meatballs and mashed potatoes. She always gave me half a potato with some butter before lunch, so I can enjoy it while sitting and watching "ThunderCats" on TV, all while waiting for my sister to come home from school, so we can eat together.
I remember one time I found a show on UA-cam (Jim Henson's the Tale of the Bunny Picnic) and it brought tears to my eyes because it reminded me of the times when my sister and I used to watch it on TV (it was usually aired during a holiday).
I honestly think this is the best feeling sometimes. The greatest escapism from daily hardships.
I became depressed in my early 20s and stayed that way for over a decade. Consequently my 20s flew by with me not paying very close attention or attempting to savor the unique circumstances of my life at the time. Now I'm painfully nostalgic for both the years immediately preceding my depression, but also a few choice moments that occurred after I became depressed. Not only were these special moments suddenly very far away, but I realized I hadn't documented them. I never journaled or took pictures. I also had thrown away most of the worldly objects that would have worked as a connection to my past. So now my nostalgia is strong and deeply connected with the feeling of fear. Fear of what I have lost, fear of knowing that all I have are memories that will fade if I don't reinforce them constantly. Nostalgia is like a millstone tied around my neck, pulling me under. It's a burden I carry every day, and it's an addiction I must constantly slake.
So interesting. Must happen more often during this pandemic.
I was moved away from family and the state I lived in when young and I did not adjust well to it for many years. Therefore snow and rain made me think of where I used to live and always made me nostalgic.
This was a cool topic. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! All your videos are so good and thorough; but I really enjoy this one... especially when you shared your nostalgic moments. Very endearing. Thank you.
I think you are not alone with the weather triggers, every time there's a summer storm going on I step outside and just breathe in the humid smell. For some reason it gets me every time. 🤷♀️😂