4 Signs You're Faking Your Niceness & WHY
Вставка
- Опубліковано 8 тра 2024
- Are you faking your niceness without even knowing it? If you've ever questioned your own authenticity or wondered if someone in your life is putting on an act, this is a must-watch!
Or are you tired of encountering fake people who seem nice on the surface but leave you feeling skeptical? Understanding the motivations behind fake niceness is key to deciphering their true intentions. From our extensive research, we've compiled four telltale signs of fake nice people. It's time to unveil the mask and dig deeper!
If you want MORE signs of fake nice people, check out this video here: • 10 Signs of Fake Nice ...
#fake #nice
Writer: Syazwana Amirah
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Gabriele Garcia
Production Assistant: Thomas Kang
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
Grab PSI plushy here: psych2go.shop/products/psych2...
Discount code: "Loyalty" to get 15% off. Only first 50 people.
Official Discord: / discord
Provide Feedback for this video: forms.gle/B1JAxZKn9XvJpXUQ7
REFERENCES
Beard, M. (2020, January 14). The difference between genuine kindness and fake kindness. ABC Everyday. Retrieved from www.abc.net.au/everyday/the-difference-between-genuine-and-fake-kindness/11737836
Hall, K. (2021, January 12). Yes, You Matter. Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202101/yes-you-matter
Leary, M. R., & Kowalski, R. M. (1990). Impression Management: A Literature Review and Two-Component Model. Psychological Bulletin, 107(1), 34-47.
Romanelli, A. (2019, September 28). The Price of Being Nice, the Gain of Being a Pain. Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-other-side-relationships/201909/the-price-being-nice-the-gain-being-pain
Seltzer, L. (2014, January 8). Praise as Manipulation: 6 Reasons to Question Compliments. Psychology Todah. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/evolution-of-the-self/201401/praise-as-manipulation-6-reasons-to-question-compliments
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.
Wilde, A. (n.d.). Fear of Rejection. Mt Lawley Counselling, Perth. Retrieved April 20, 2023, from www.mtlawleycounselling.com.au/fear-of-rejection.html#:~:text=Being%20Inauthentic%20%2D%20Many%20of%20those,around%20others%20that%20is%20unauthentic.
Ever had that gut feeling someone's niceness was just a show?
My own niceness lol
Yesss
In reality, everyone needs to fake niceness IRL especially working or not offending someone.
So this is kind of strange to me. A lot of people cannot handle authenticity or the truth.
It is too much for people as "the truth hurts" some carry much more baggage than others and many cannot handle it or it triggers them.
Some people take so much for granted daily while some suffer so much... daily but again it is hard to fine someone cares.
On social media of course many wish you their condolences. Just to feel better but in the end they do not care and just do it because everyone else is and is common courtesy.
Not genuine kindness/empathy/sympathy.
There are people that I refer to as “too good to be true.” They are never in a bad mood, feel even the slightest depressed, just like Pollyanna.
I have a hard time believing anyone is that perfectly happy all the time. They make me very suspicious because I feel they put on an act all the time and they never seem genuine.
Yep that's how I feel about everyone around especially new people
"If I'm nice to them, they'll like me"
-my brain
Mine too-
Same. I have a bad habit of buying people stuff in exchange for hoping they will stay my friend... Im trying so hsrd to break it and understsnd why i do it
@@emberofeon4868 we want to buy acceptance from people. I do the same thing for my employees. I remember their birthdays and buy them small gifts but they couldn't care about mine.
@@mr.peanutbutter6969 and the thing is, the only thing i want in return is for them to not leave me.
@@emberofeon4868 dang. Life would be easier if everyone just faked being nice. Fake it till you make it, right?
People always tell me i am a kind person and i try to believe that I am but deep down inside myself, i feel like i am faking it.
Relatable😓🙍♀️
I really believe I am kind, and nice. But I think the trauma is so deep that I don't even know who I am anymore. I never was able to be firm in my life and people walk all over me because of that. It hurts so much. Help
Sounds like impostor symdrome bro
I relate. I really want to be kind and help people I care about, but everything stresses me out, and I don’t actually want to deal with anything negative
@Thesnake1312 that's relatable! 😕😩
Signs
1. Insincere Compliments
2. Teflon Interactions
3. Seeking Validation
4. All Talk, but No Action
Reasons
1. Trauma
2. Fear of Rejections
3. Low Self-esteem
yeah, can relate to the reason very well
for me the reason to faking my niceness is that i can never swear
I’m constantly labeled as the nice girl and it’s causing so many issues so let’s see how called out I am
Same but one of my friends labeled me as passive aggressive but she said she was just joking (is she)
Balance is the key gals(or guys),I was labelled as a snob,when i was in my teens,but i was just a "snobbish" introvert😅Give to yourselves,and others time...we are all still learning💖
Nice is sus, kind is pure. Nice is what I want my customer service to be, kind is what I want my friends to be.
In reality, everyone needs to fake niceness IRL especially working or not offending someone.
So this is kind of strange to me. A lot of people cannot handle authenticity or the truth.
It is too much for people as "the truth hurts" some carry much more baggage than others and many cannot handle it or it triggers them.
Ikr. That only ends up complicating things even more. I often fake niceness around people that i need to maintain a nice relationship with, especially my family cuz they really cant handle the harsh truth. The thing is i HAVE to fake cuz i dont need complications till i move out. But does that take an emotional toll on me. I often end up extremely stressed whenever I'm forced to have a conversation with them cuz it feels like one wrong word and everything could go wrong. That pressure build up is just too much sometimes that i end up blowing up at things i shouldn't even be mad about.
At the same time some people will tell that to themselves to justify beliefs that are just totally out of pocket
Isn't that a book or a psychological study about the different masks we wear everyday in life. Some of us are just tired of switching masks out. You don't have to worry about pretending to be nice when you're done wearing the masks they want you to wear...
It really hurts sometimes, your putting a happy facade for your family they ask how you are doing and you say Im fine, while deep inside your not fine...
Are you okay?😶
I always say im fine, their so gullible they believe every lie
Me If my parents actually cared for my life
I say I'm fine a lot to many people when I know I'm not
Not on family. But when other people ask are you okay. You will just say yes. Most of the time the question are you okay is just a phrase and they don’t really want to know if you are ok. 😂
0:00 intro
0:31 1. sincere compliments
1:00 2. Teflon Interactions
1:38 3. Seeking Validation
2:13 4. All Talk, but No Action
2:43 why you're faking niceness
2:44 1. Trauma
3:07 2. Fear of Rejections
3:29 3. Low Self-esteem
3:52 conclusion
4:06 outro
4:12 ad
Sincere, or insincere?
Insincere
Yeah..... very true... I do fake my niceness sometimes but I really do love those people..
"Just because you see a smile my dear, doesn't mean I am happy, a smile can be used to keep those around you feeling comfortable and keep you're enemies guessing." ❤🖤❤🖤❤🖤❤😁😁😁 besides you all can never tell if I say the truth or a lie with my smile.
Alastor from Hazbin Hotel, I believe. 😎
I dont even smile, i dont even look close to happy & people think im happy 💀💀💀
It's "a smile is a valuable tool my dear. It inspires your friends-keeps your enemies guessing-and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control"
The only time when I would fake my niceness is when someone I don’t know talks to me out of nowhere, especially when I’m already uncomfortable, or when I’m not sure if I’m interested in participating in a certain. Other than that, I try to be as genuine as I can.
Oh gosh. Yes I’m always faking nice because of trauma, it’s crazy how accurate these videos are.
Being autistic does have its issues. I've learned how to be nice but it's harder than it looks at times....
Unmasking has a lot of benefits. Its hard to do and you might lose some people close to you but I know and have seen that its overall better for your mental health. You might want to at least look into it, and try to find others who have shared their experiences with it to see if unmasking would be good for you.
I'm diagnosed aspie, neurodivergent and I have zero issues being nice? Unless you mean a fake kinda people pleasing? But those on the spectrum are empathetic. More so than neurotypical to the point of hyperempathy. Which is why so many are activists and advocates for various issues affecting animals (temple grandin) the environment (Greta thunberg) and so on. I've been bullied and abused by a lot of NT's. Never ND's. Double blind theory ftw
@@_asantesana_squashbanana_ not everyone on the spectrum is the same !
@@ColourfulLeafShark If someone lacks empathy then they are actually ASPD, not ASD.
@@_asantesana_squashbanana_ I'm autistic myself and mhm yeah probably
the notification just popped up on my phone, and I felt watched.
these titles are so personal wth (I'm loving it)
-Be nice. Be kind hearted . Be perfect! To earn the others respect and love . No need to be yourself . helps everyone even if you were tired-
.
-My little brain that i want to desfory
----
Yo. Same.
Mood
I think I am really nice to people but it's because I'm just trying to make them feel good about themselves,it's like I'm unconsciously telling myself,I know how it feels to not be validated and made feel good ,so I don't know if my niceness is fake
❤
Ok well I learned I am NOT faking niceness, but I am struggling with giving without expectations, and the people around me do not support me in the way I need and the way I would for them. I’m drained and feeling hopeless
Yeah, I do this sometimes. My biggest takeaway is that there's a difference between validation-seeking and approval-seeking.
I’m never nice, even if I try.
How is that 7 months ago!?!?!?
lol
how in the world is this 7months ago and u dont have membership😵
7 months ago-?
7 months ago???
Wtf
I literally had to wear a mask to exist when I was around my mom. For years after I couldn't laugh or cry organically
I hope you're doing better now 🙏
Honestly, I feel like most people I meet only like me when I just shut up and agree with everything they say and do what I'm told by them. And whenever I say or do anything that they disagree with, I'm labeled a jerk for it. Makes me wonder sometimes if anyone even wants to have a sincere relationship with me or maybe they just see me a means to an end and nothing more.
If I’m kind they’ll think I’m ok
-me
I really like the diversity of the animation you present on your channel! Needless to say, the content speaks for itself, especially when Amanda is narrating! We appreciate all this more than can be expressed! Take care!
This really made me cry out loud
I feel so Fake :((((
Hi Psych2go, I think I've been following your channel for almost 3 years now, and I just want to say that when I watch your videos I learn a lot about myself and other people around me, I'm accomplishing more than before and I'm more careful about how I behave, I appreciate you making this channel, I hope it never decays ❤
Ayyy baybee! I've just got sociopathic tendencies and don't really care about them, but would rather be kind than be neutral or negative because it makes life go more smoothly
I love your videos ❤
I have a fear of conflict, and I do fake a smile, I also have low self esteem, thank you
FINALLY AMANDA😭😭
'fake it till you make it'
can't always be thinking of other people.
too much complcation attached to even being kind. 🙄
Notif gang ❤ this voices is so so so good ❤
Notif squaddddd!!
This was how I felt for a long time and now knowing this. I think I can try to be better and improve my self esteem. Thank you for this info
yeah i used to be like this for so many years. now, i just don't give a shit 💀
GOOD EVENING MY FRIEND I HAVE TO AGREE, I WAS THE SAME WAY, NOW TODAY IS LIKE 🖕 IT, LOVE ME THE WAY I AM SLEEP WELL MY FRIEND TEE
I only do it with certain people
I love this vid your voice is so calming ❤❤❤I love it ❤❤
I'm still learning how to follow through with keeping my promises. Thank you😊🔥
Before watch I already think that I'm faking my niceness, and also this thumb says alot, but lets see
Being real and sincere in our actions creates genuine connections that last a lifetime. It's that authentic caring and warmth that truly make our interactions meaningful and special.💙
I think the world needs more people who are nice, but kindness is shown through actions.
0 seconds and 0 views? Fell off.
😔
@@Psych2goLMFAO
Hiiiiii❤ you guys are amazing
"Always remember, you matter" nice :')
There's no point in trying to be nice to people who always look for ways to call you a monster. Just be honest with how you feel and no matter how mad they get, don't fold into a people pleaser mindset.
Never let others control you.
For me, it’s transactional. People are more cooperative if you’re nice to them, compromise provides potential for future collaboration (leaving options available for future endeavours), and giving in to small requests while only asking for things as needed makes it more likely that you get what you truly want and need long term. If other strategies were more effective, I’d probably be a lot worse of a person, but it’s effective and doesn’t suffer from the long term issues less savoury tactics pose.
I can't believe how much I feel identified with this!
Eu lembro da época que tinha medo de dizer não, ajudar as pessoas foi de uma boa intensão para uma obrigação e me sentia sobrecarragada e falsa.
Atualmente estou melhorando em equilibrar auto cuidado e ajudar outras pessoas, muito obrigada por espalhar a conscientização da saúde mental ❤
Am I faking it if im kind to others cause I wanna see em smile and it makes me feel better, but I also do kind things in secret, I wanna help restore people's faith in humanity and spread smiles, it makes me happy and makes me feel like I matter, is that selfish?
imo you don't always need to be nice. Sometimes we just don't have the energy to be nice and that's totally fine!
I'm often told I'm the kindest of my group. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm faking it for my own advantage. Like, it does feel nice to be called kind-hearted and stuff, but I don't think I'm (trying to be) kind because of that. Although I do share some of these traits, the only that really resonated with me is the low selfesteem but pretty much everyone has it now thanks to social media.
I don't know what the point of this comment was LOL but amazing video nonetheless!!
Timestamps
1). Insincere compliments 0:29
2). Teflon interactions 1:00
3). Seeking validation 1:37
4). All talk but no action 2:13
5). Trauma 2:44
6). Fear of rejections 3:07
7). Low self-esteem 3:28
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Or maybe you are taught by society that this is how you should behave. No one wants to be around someone who is grumpy, quiet, or impolite.
This was very helpful
I’m starting to feel I am overly nice. And it’s because I’m afraid if I show too much of what I think people will get mad at me. And I always want everyone to be happy so I usually just agree or simply stay quiet.
I faked my niceness all the time when my tutor was around. She was very strict and bossy to me and she treated me and her cousin like a puppet. We were never allowed to have our own feelings and opinions and it didn’t matter how we felt, she always forced us to obey her. If I ever tried to compromise or advocate for myself she would accuse me of arguing with her. I sacrificed all my needs feelings and wants for her out of fear of getting on her bad side. She was very intimidating and it was always either her way or the hard way
Sometimes I think I'm faking my niceness, even if it was genuine. It's really hard for me to think I was being kind or did someone a good favour without thinking, "it's all fake. You're not a good person" and then I start remembering anything bad I've done in the past, even small ones
I pretend to be dumb, kind and quiet in school to:
-Be talked to less
-Receive benefits from special treatment by teachers
-Being excluded from sports
-Able to exit the e classroom without being questioned why
-Able to enter the sick room without any particular reason because people believe I'm disabled
-Teachers don't have a say against your actions because you're nice
-I've had alot of issues with some girls liking me because I was a bit handsome and was good in sports but to avoid that, I changed so I'm able to avoid all boys and girls
-Everyone treats you nicely and somehow fear you
-Fear communication so I always act agreeable or completely ignore someone by pretending I didn't notice them or become preoccupied
-I sometimes made mistakes with my actions because it wasn't actually me
-When questioned, I just either go quiet, or put up a lie (beware, if you dont practice this, you'll be caught as it's harder to lie than to tell the truth so it'll be inconsistent)
-Set up a bunch of ways to act if I'm caught aswell as how I sit so I immediately change if someone enters a room when I'm too comfortable or when I leave so as to not get caught off guard
Beware, if you're gonna do this, never get too comfortable (I nearly acted naturally in class once when people started discussing some life topics and it was more quiet so my brain got tricked into believing I'm in a safe area)
-etc
Ignorance is bliss, realize that u're traumatized and fake is really painful thing, but it's necessary...
What about give step by step solutions and focus on the disadvantages of being fake niceness
No way am I this early lmao. I love this voice. So soothing. ❤
"If I don't set boundaries and help people even when I don't have the time or energy, I must be faking niceness"
- Niko 2024
Thanks for the update, hmmmm it is what it is. If I want to be nice, I don't forget about being honest if the opinion is not the same with me, but in the end it is just an opinion
..YOU MAKE MY DAY...❤
Thank u Psych 2go 😊...I always sometimes feel like I'm faking my niceness as well as happiness and it's really stressful confusing honestly really hurting 😢
Thanks for d info it's really gonna help my....Really appreciate it 😘...And it really helps me no wat to do 😊
Sometimes you have to put on a brave face and smile. Forcing yourself to laugh and act bright and full of energy when you feel like dying inside. No one can tell, no one knows but you. Everyone thinks your so happy and positive but they don't see when you can hardly breathe for crying at home. Sometimes a peak of sadness or internal thoughts will show, people will ask you if you're fine and you say you're great when you're nothing close to fine...
I have never felt dissected and examined before
Trauma, enough said.
Nah cause all these people be calling me the nicest person they've ever known and then go ahead to hurt me or break my heart in any way they can 😭💀
i'm faking my niceness and i need to start thinking about myself!
first time I see a plug on this channel
This is a very nice video
How true. Just going through the motions. Don't step on any toes just get this unlucky life over with asap. Cause I'm not suppose to be here in reality. It is what it is
I know I have all three given reasons along with a fear of being a burden. So what separates faking and fawning? Because I know that when I complement it many cases it's genuine yet in many cases I'm also fawning.
So this is gonna be a weird one, (please dont judge me going through enough already) but perhaps could you guys make a video on how you can help battle agasinst suicidal thoughts. A in depth deep dive of the not spoken enough battle that many face, and that many loose, Thank you for your time have a nice day 😁
Up until I was 16, I was being the most authentic and based version of myself, which got me into beef with others, but I have no reason to put up a facade for my friends and those who accept me for who I am. A failure of mine plus a friendship breakdown almost broke me. When I picked myself up again, I have the 'never again' mindset and started faking niceness just to hold on to whatever I have and not bring myself more harm, but now there is little authenticity left in my interactions with people. Haaahh...idk what to do atp.
I used to be truly kind I think, but a lot of stuff has happened and now I feel that I've become more fake. I guess it's trauma. I'm going to have to work on this. I want to be genuine again.
I consider myself mostly fake-nice, but none of these signs apply to my case.
- I don't give compliments I don't feel. But I also don't offer destructive criticism or mockery. Sometimes I feel the urge to punch people for being so stupid... but I fake calmness to avoid even more damage.
- I'm a people pleaser in general, but I always openly state my opinions and values beforehand, so people know what to expect from me. I usually avoid louder arguments. In the past I loved to debate, but I'm too tired to engage in useless wordplay now, so I just agree to desagree and escape.
- I like being listened and agreed with, like most normal people, and often have good arguments to get the atention and value. However, I also don't really value the opinion of 98% of the people around me. So I don't bothers me at all if nobody listen, I'm just used to it.
- I talk a lot when people ask me to. And many times my words are very manipulative. But I usually consider that is my action: to use words to manipulate people into diffusing or resolving conflicts, avoiding danger and stupid losses for all, as much as posible.
I know is not authentic, but I think is better than people punching each other and wasting time, resources and enthusiasm.
Teh problem with no action is always with myself, more than with others. I always do stuff for other people before than mine. That's why I prefer to avoid most people and be left alone.
Damn right I am, no need to put others in a bad state of mind just bc I am
I don’t know anyone that does that. I’m thankful of that.😅
i just forgot about you a while ago, and i know im probably not faking it, it’s just that your my therapist now.
I know I fake my kindness at my jobs, deep down I have zero feelings for the people I’m surrounded by at work. I’m often asked at my job why I don’t go to the work parties or happy hours and I always say that I would love to, but I have to work my other job. When the reality is I hate everybody and want to be left alone at every possible moment in my life. I literally feel nothing when people tell me their problems or traumatic backstories because they think I’m a sympathetic person when that is far from the truth. I see people as an obstacle in my life that I have to work around to get what I really want: money. I have had friends in the past I genuinely cared for, but then they abandoned me so maybe that’s why I’m so numb now. Either way I’m successful, which is all that matters to me anymore.
Um i somehow relate to most things here
Maybe to seek validation, avoid trouble because um let's just say i am not comfortable interacting with others despite not having much problems doing so
2:27 The repeated overextended “so” and “hmu” are what really read as insincere in that situation.
I've gotten the feeling lately that some people might think I'm faking being nice, though because of being autistic I have no idea how to show them it's genuine. I tend to do everything in my power to be there for others but I've noticed lately that they've started acting like they think my niceness is just an act, when in reality I genuinely feel good knowing others have a stable support system and someone to rely on (something I never had for the first 25 years of my life)
That's how i feel at school i always getting bullied and tormented and no one helped me
I tell someone to lmk if they need anything bc its good manners and im genuine about it. I may not be able to do everything. But, ill do what I can.
Not necessarily, it's just called being decent & having manners.
I find myself not caring really. Sometimes I'm nice, other times I'm not. Life is too short to care. Some people are good some are bad.
I maybe be rude, but I'd never hurt ya physically.
I have know since I was 3rd grade I was a fake person but only one person I will show kindness towards
I do that around the boss. Especially the high up bosses.
Faking niceness leaving d person ur talking to happy and seen....but ur feel tired and a lump of insincerity in ur throat as well as in ur heart ❤️ and mind 😊
It seems most people are missing the point of this one.
She's not taking about the smile you put on and saying you're good when people ask you how you are.
That kind of fake kindness is how humans thrive together, and society would crumble without it.
She's talking about people who have a chronic habit of going out of their way to please people to their own detriment.
Like being the first one to volunteer for something when you already had plans that day because you want people to see you as the "nice" person.
Trust me. Very few people are like the person she's describing.
They're usually extremely annoying and have inappropriate reactions to certain circumstances (like smiling and acting full of joy at a funeral).
Chances are you don't fall into that category. Certainly not just because you act friendlier than you really are. Most people do and that's a good thing.
Exactly, finally someone that understands
Sometimes I think 👍🏻😊
A lot of people are also just so worn out and tired from their own shit they don't have the energy to follow through with their offers a lot of the time. The niceness comes from a good place but burnout is completely real y'all.
I thought I would be in every single one of these, but I'm only one, at best.
And yet I still feel fake... Why.
I feel like everyone is just naturally good except me. I need to like,learn what to do "what considered to be natural" or how to act a certain "correct behaviour" or how to speak "correctly" or what kind of expression is "good" and it make me feel like im a terrible person. I feel like a child and everyone is growing so fast and im so slow. It's so tiring. Even when i want to do something i feel is right,i always thought "am i wrong"? I hate how indesisive i can be... "why am i a terrible person?" "Why am i like this?" "I should not act honestly. If i were to meet myself i would hate her" "why am i not normal?"
I really hate myself. I dont want anyone to see me. Everything feels suffocating. Nothing i do is good. Im not good enough. Im so scared of people. Why are people so terrifying?. Im so sick of myself. I still want myself even if i said i hate it it but nobody would want me. I have so many regrets i dont think i can bear it...
I'm fake nice because of all of the above, but also because I don't want to project how impatient and angry I always am. It's not easy. It should be.
“Just because you see a smile, don’t think you know what’s going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you’re the one in control.” - Alastor from Habin Hotel ❤🖤😏😈
I'm just naturally irritable without intending to be, I suspect sensory processing disorder and being easily overloaded. but even if I say nothing people pick up body language cues, even if it's not about them. they don't take disclaimers seriously even if I try. usually I stick to being me but sometimes i get worn down by people overreacting to my normal and put on a mask.
Damn this video really hit me hard but I'm not gonna lie it's quite understandable because of some people always used to being nice just to get attention from other's so I can't disagree with this video
Good to know
I am aware of this. I dont realy like my coworkers but I fake it to have people to talk with.