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THIS Actually Makes You LESS Attractive
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- Опубліковано 16 сер 2024
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In today's video, Thais Gibson explains what self-abandonment is and why it makes you less attractive. Watch now to learn how you can overcome self-abandonment and how to take up space in a healthy and secure way as Thais provides useful tips and guidance.
To learn more, explore the transformative course, "Emotional Mastery & Belief Reprogramming", for powerful tools you can begin using immediately on your journey!
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00:00:00 - TikTok video
00:00:26 - Intro
00:01:48 - What Is Self-Abandonment
00:02:39 - Taking Up Space
00:03:43 - Boundaries
00:04:31 - Own Truth and Opinions
00:05:11 - What To Do
00:06:36 - Exposure Work
00:08:23 - 7 Day Free Trial: Emotional Mastery and Belief
00:08:43 - How To Make Yourself More Attractive
00:10:31 - Conclusion
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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.
I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.
Our UA-cam videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.
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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #FearOfAbandonment #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #MeetYourNeeds #StopSelfAbandonment
Love is 2 things. First, it's a feeling. And then it's a choice. The feeling is easy because it automatic. You don't have to think about it. It's black and white. It's there or it's not, and when it is, you know. The choice is much different. It's not automatic and it's not easy. And in order to tum feeling into feeling AND choice; the words can't be "I love you but. Instead. I love you more." I love you more than doing life all by myself I love your more than the resistance that I have being accountable to someone else. I love you more than me being the only prionty in my life. I love you more than the potential of finding someone better or more attractive. I love you more than the way my childhood traumatized me. I love you more than my belief that you deserve better. I love you more than anything I'd have to sacrifice.
Not just approval. Security, avoiding pain, getting basic physical needs met. Much of it is about physical survival.
There has to be balance…
Healthy relationships require love… REAL LOVE… meaning both parties should take care of themselves and each other. Move together as a team . Like doubles tennis. Both have to do their inner work off the court and show up ready and positive when on the court.
Thoughtfulness and kindness and mindfulness and transparency and vulnerability are needs in a relationship that both parties should be doing.
As a long time tennis fan I love this analogy that you used
Oooooooohhh... 💯 This analogy seems great. There could be many more, but team-play is the key. Enhance your individual self and show up as a team. Right on point!
For me, this decreases my attraction not necessarily because of trait variety, but because people-pleasing is often used as a way to mimic or follow me until the inauthenticity reaches critical mass. Then comes the incongruence, which impacts my trust. I bring it up, she ignores it until one of us leaves. While I understand people-pleasing as someone who comes from a narcissistic family, I value honesty, integrity, and authenticity. I lose attraction over core-value misalignment.
Well said 🙌
I think it important to point out for people who "don't get self abandonment" that when you're the people pleaser you don't feel like you're abandoning youself in the moment. People develop this trait for survival - so in the moment when its happening it feels like you are taking care of yourself and protecting yourself and managing those around you. You don't realizd you have been abandoning yourself until a while later when you realize it didn't "work" and you're unhappy and unsupported. It takes quite a bit of self reflection to even realize that this is the story you keeo playing out....let alone start working on changing it. When people jn the comments just talk about how "its unattractive" you are not helping and you might actually be contributing to the response by making it about how YOU feel about it.
I'm glad you're putting this out there. It's always best to set and stick to your boundaries because allowing them to be broken all the time does you no good.
Two major lessons I learned about this was when several of my exes wanted to get married (at different times of course!). They brought up marriage, but also told me that wanted to move out of state. I didn't want that because my business was gaining traction and I had no desire to start over. I only wanted to move on MY terms. Neither of those relationships worked out and had I ignored this boundary, I would have been in a strange area where I knew no one coupled with the task of starting my business from scratch (again). Set those boundaries and don't make any exceptions!
"What if I put up a boundary and then I get rejected?"
Bro, what if you build a castle and then the barbarians stop pillaging you?
Friendly people will knock on the door and say "cool castle, can I come in and look around?" It's only the barbarians who were coming in against your will in the first place.
Great analogy. I would also add there are healthy boundaries and unhealthy boundaries. You definitely want to keep the bugs out. A screen door will do the trick. An air tight safe door is overkill.
Years of watching you, i cant tell you how much i love and appreciate your presence, thank you❤
Your channel is so underrated, and probably censored
I hear lot of the times if you're not ready for intimacy and someone is pressuring you, how about the other way around, you want intimacy and it is always rejected?
Thanks for all of your amazing work.
I live in Iran so unfortunately i cant take part of your courses even tho i really really need to. But just wanted to thank you for all these amazing studies, opportunities and educational videos. God bless you
There was a part of this is not an all or nothing... But it wasn't very well clarified