Heal with Thais's Personal Development School!!!! 🎉 I swear this woman and her team changed my life from FA to mostly SA and I will be forever grateful.
@@colivart so before Thais, I found something on UA-cam called The Relationship Autopsy. The woman who does this has you do written work and dissects your relationship. In it you basically write your last partner's negative traits that led to the break up and then your own. For me, my list ended up being longer. That's how I knew this was a me problem. That was back in 2022 I believe. From there I found Thais and joined her school in 2023. It took me over a year and it was definitely HARD. But kind of like working out, everyday I worked on myself yielded faster results.
I'm the same. I want to be further along with relationships but when I look back and the relationship with myself is 75% better, I can regulate my emotions 90% better, I value myself authentically, I know PDS methods work.
@@AliValentine143 amazing!! I mean, to think we've reprogrammed a massive part of ourselves in such a short period of time is an accomplishment on it's own. ❤️
The slides are AMAZING. Thank you Thais! I had forgotten about BTEA. Now the actual deconditioning is really something beyond our usual content which is more about assessment & decisions. To put it into perspective with PAvlov & our own personal prehistory makes SO MUCH SENSE. Now I feel I need to add something, especially with other topics currenlty in the news. Sometimes you feel you're going to be betrayed. Sometimes you feel unsafe. Sometimes all the level-headed people say you're all doom and gloom. And sometimes, well, the troops at the border were INDEED going to invade you. So there's a parralel here... I can recognize that yes, a change in pattern immediately raises fears of abandonment & rejection. But it's also experience talking. Especially more so in presence of a dismissive avoidant. Who in turn might be led to believe she was right to doubt me as I shut down the second I saw here starting to close shop.
I appreciate this so much! I’ve been a psychologist over 20 years… just hearing this explained so simply and clearly is really helping me for my own life and my practice! Thank you! (& Thank UA-cam algorithms that put you on my yt feed!) 💯❤️🔥
i've done some PDS courses and have watched a ton of your UA-cams and as always i''m amazed at how 'transformative' this stuff is 👏 should be taught in schools, parenting courses, etc
I agree. My daughter was 10 when I started my Personal Development School journey and she pays attention to what I'm doing. She's great about working through situations and having healthy conversations. I also homeschool her so it helps. ❤
This is a great breakdown of internal programming/subconscious thinking. However, I would disagree that changing your actions isn't going to change your mind. I didn't think I was good enough for to being told constantly by my parents and peers which initially led me to avoid just about everything. However, when I tried things (sorts, martial arts, business, etc) I EXCELLED at them which made me see that I was better at it than my parents and peers led me to believe. The biggest accomplishments I made (which initially scared me) was starting my business (in which I was given the award for best martial art school in my area) and competing in martial arts (which resulted in winning five international championships and one regional championship). I think taking action is the BEST way to override the subconscious mind because doing so allows it to see what's possible. That said, I'm not a psychologist so I'm speaking PURELY from experience.
You say from 0 years to 2 years old that time was traumatic for I was with colic and had got a belly button hernia from crying for so long and my head was flat in the back for I would lay on my back with no attention just crying and crying so I always feel abandoned and have very little trust in personal relationships from feeling so much trauma this make getting to close fearful and being hugged or touched for long periods not acceptable which will lead to anxiety and avoidance in a personal relationship Thank you for your time
I can relate to you. Of course I do not remember as I was too young but I had very bad colic as a baby and have been told that since I never stopped crying, I often had to be left in a crib/room with the vacuum on or other noise that would help calm me, so my parents and sibling could get peace/rest/quiet… I really feel this is a large part of my issue although not the only thing I think I missed in childhood. May we both find a way to develop and heal from this.
I joined PDS in July and it has moved the needle significantly. I had plateaued in Talk therapy - finally I have actual actionable exercises. Yes, I bawled through all of it. Yes, when it was over I am much better at spitting my triggers and behaviors.
Take the trial, people. The first introductory course is very short but explains all this BTEA stuff beautifully, and then you'll look around at your life looking for needs to meet in a healthier way all the time ;) If you are prone to daydreaming, this ability is very useful for reprogramming too.
Thank you Thais..for your vids.. I learned attachment styles coz of you..I found out am FA and getting better,, Thank you for free psychotherapy.You helped me change my life.. More power to your channel.
I as an FA have been dealing with a DA for a good while now. After reaching my limits I decided to put up a hard boundary. Now I am second guessing myself. I am confused if what I did was set up a healthy boundary or did I deactivate? Any clues ??
Here are healthy boundaries … tell you’re partner “as long as you never deceive me or betray me , and as long as are always honest , truthful , trustworthy, respectful , fair and just and you treat me with dignity and decency , you’ll always have dedication and commitment “ . And stick your these principles. But you have to uphold these principles to yourself as well , moment to moment . Learn to live consciously
What if, the wound you're feeling is I am unseen/ I am unimportant and it's because you're actually not being attuned to, valued or cared for? By someone that you value and care for. Is it something to work on/fix in yourself then, or is it useful information?
people reflect back what you give yourself, because we go through life in a way that unconsciously communicates to people how we treat ourselves. so when people around us are consistently not valuing us it's because we treat ourselves as if we have no value. one example i always think of where i devalue myself is when i shortchange myself on sleep, staying up late doing unessential things. over time that habit conditioned me to act like someone who doesn't see himself as someone worth taking care of. and then i was surprised i kept running into women and people in general who easily devalued me. so we have to anchor our value in ourselves and treat ourselves as valuable regardless of how others treat us at times (people will still be jerks to anyone who values him/herself but i find it becomes more rare). what i found that gives me all the value i need is a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. I can't recommend anything better to reset your whole way of living than to trust in Him, knowing that God loves you and gave Himself to save your soul. hope this helps, God bless
Heal with Thais's Personal Development School!!!! 🎉 I swear this woman and her team changed my life from FA to mostly SA and I will be forever grateful.
Just started. How long did it take you? At a low point and just need to see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel
@@colivart same, just started
@@colivart so before Thais, I found something on UA-cam called The Relationship Autopsy. The woman who does this has you do written work and dissects your relationship. In it you basically write your last partner's negative traits that led to the break up and then your own. For me, my list ended up being longer. That's how I knew this was a me problem. That was back in 2022 I believe. From there I found Thais and joined her school in 2023. It took me over a year and it was definitely HARD. But kind of like working out, everyday I worked on myself yielded faster results.
I'm the same. I want to be further along with relationships but when I look back and the relationship with myself is 75% better, I can regulate my emotions 90% better, I value myself authentically, I know PDS methods work.
@@AliValentine143 amazing!! I mean, to think we've reprogrammed a massive part of ourselves in such a short period of time is an accomplishment on it's own. ❤️
Has Part 2 been posted yet? This is one of my favorite videos you’ve posted yet, the visuals of the slides really helped me retain the info!
The slides are AMAZING. Thank you Thais! I had forgotten about BTEA.
Now the actual deconditioning is really something beyond our usual content which is more about assessment & decisions.
To put it into perspective with PAvlov & our own personal prehistory makes SO MUCH SENSE.
Now I feel I need to add something, especially with other topics currenlty in the news.
Sometimes you feel you're going to be betrayed. Sometimes you feel unsafe. Sometimes all the level-headed people say you're all doom and gloom. And sometimes, well, the troops at the border were INDEED going to invade you. So there's a parralel here...
I can recognize that yes, a change in pattern immediately raises fears of abandonment & rejection. But it's also experience talking. Especially more so in presence of a dismissive avoidant. Who in turn might be led to believe she was right to doubt me as I shut down the second I saw here starting to close shop.
I appreciate this so much! I’ve been a psychologist over 20 years… just hearing this explained so simply and clearly is really helping me for my own life and my practice! Thank you! (& Thank UA-cam algorithms that put you on my yt feed!) 💯❤️🔥
i've done some PDS courses and have watched a ton of your UA-cams and as always i''m amazed at how 'transformative' this stuff is 👏 should be taught in schools, parenting courses, etc
I agree. My daughter was 10 when I started my Personal Development School journey and she pays attention to what I'm doing. She's great about working through situations and having healthy conversations. I also homeschool her so it helps. ❤
Look forward to listening to Part 2.
This is a great breakdown of internal programming/subconscious thinking. However, I would disagree that changing your actions isn't going to change your mind. I didn't think I was good enough for to being told constantly by my parents and peers which initially led me to avoid just about everything. However, when I tried things (sorts, martial arts, business, etc) I EXCELLED at them which made me see that I was better at it than my parents and peers led me to believe. The biggest accomplishments I made (which initially scared me) was starting my business (in which I was given the award for best martial art school in my area) and competing in martial arts (which resulted in winning five international championships and one regional championship). I think taking action is the BEST way to override the subconscious mind because doing so allows it to see what's possible. That said, I'm not a psychologist so I'm speaking PURELY from experience.
Omg not feeling good enough - so true and triggering at the same time. Thank you Thais.
The slides are very helpful!
Its amazing to use slides on youtube🥰thanks
You say from 0 years to 2 years old that time was traumatic for I was with colic and had got a belly button hernia from crying for so long and my head was flat in the back for I would lay on my back with no attention just crying and crying so I always feel abandoned and have very little trust in personal relationships from feeling so much trauma this make getting to close fearful and being hugged or touched for long periods not acceptable which will lead to anxiety and avoidance in a personal relationship Thank you for your time
Bless you… hope you do this work. I’m a little over a week in and it’s already helping a ton. Joined the school and totally worth it. ❤
❤
I can relate to you. Of course I do not remember as I was too young but I had very bad colic as a baby and have been told that since I never stopped crying, I often had to be left in a crib/room with the vacuum on or other noise that would help calm me, so my parents and sibling could get peace/rest/quiet… I really feel this is a large part of my issue although not the only thing I think I missed in childhood. May we both find a way to develop and heal from this.
Slides are amazing! ❤
I joined PDS in July and it has moved the needle significantly. I had plateaued in Talk therapy - finally I have actual actionable exercises. Yes, I bawled through all of it. Yes, when it was over I am much better at spitting my triggers and behaviors.
Beautiful and helpful as always❤
Take the trial, people. The first introductory course is very short but explains all this BTEA stuff beautifully, and then you'll look around at your life looking for needs to meet in a healthier way all the time ;)
If you are prone to daydreaming, this ability is very useful for reprogramming too.
I love this video. Please do a part 2!!
The thing here is that many of us don't pick good partners, so that's also a reason for being up and down
Thank you Thais..for your vids.. I learned attachment styles coz of you..I found out am FA and getting better,, Thank you for free psychotherapy.You helped me change my life.. More power to your channel.
Where can I find part 2 of this video? Is it published yet?
Thank you🙂☀️
Where is part 2?
I as an FA have been dealing with a DA for a good while now. After reaching my limits I decided to put up a hard boundary. Now I am second guessing myself. I am confused if what I did was set up a healthy boundary or did I deactivate? Any clues ??
Here are healthy boundaries … tell you’re partner “as long as you never deceive me or betray me , and as long as are always honest , truthful , trustworthy, respectful , fair and just and you treat me with dignity and decency , you’ll always have dedication and commitment “ . And stick your these principles. But you have to uphold these principles to yourself as well , moment to moment . Learn to live consciously
What if, the wound you're feeling is I am unseen/ I am unimportant and it's because you're actually not being attuned to, valued or cared for? By someone that you value and care for. Is it something to work on/fix in yourself then, or is it useful information?
You need to see & value yourself. Your worth shouldn’t be determined by other people’s beliefs of your worth. I struggle with this too btw ❤️🩹
people reflect back what you give yourself, because we go through life in a way that unconsciously communicates to people how we treat ourselves. so when people around us are consistently not valuing us it's because we treat ourselves as if we have no value. one example i always think of where i devalue myself is when i shortchange myself on sleep, staying up late doing unessential things. over time that habit conditioned me to act like someone who doesn't see himself as someone worth taking care of. and then i was surprised i kept running into women and people in general who easily devalued me. so we have to anchor our value in ourselves and treat ourselves as valuable regardless of how others treat us at times (people will still be jerks to anyone who values him/herself but i find it becomes more rare).
what i found that gives me all the value i need is a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. I can't recommend anything better to reset your whole way of living than to trust in Him, knowing that God loves you and gave Himself to save your soul. hope this helps, God bless
💎💎💎
... Also sounds like you're describing being Bipolar..?