@@joycehowell1482 Yes it is. It’s a way to entangle you in their web later on, full of lies, manipulation and hurt. That’s what they thrive on. A bitter pill to swallow, but it is the truth.
I think I forced him in a deep shame, he knows that I know!!! So he knows he will never ever will have a chance to come back. This is game over! Period!!!!
Me too!!!! Unfortunately I went with a co worker. And now that I told him that’s enough and he’s blocked and please don’t text me anymore, we’re acting like strangers and I’m trying to avoid him as much as possible. He’s walking around quiet
"In the end only 3 things matter .How much you loved , how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you ". Jack Kornfield - Thank you as always Anoushka . Portsmouth NH, USA .
❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉 Magnificent gratitude beautiful SOUL, I am always trying 2 take the higher road. I'm away only 4 months But he's brutal, shamed me on social media, killed my chickens and my cat and moved in a new family and they stole my mother's jewelry and other things and he's blaming me 4 not taking what I valued.....it was my life first and The our adult disabled son.... I'm healing and I pray U R 2...... I'm in Keene NH ❤❤❤
She tried to come back 4 times now. She can't even admit that she wants to come back. She just makes an excuse to see me. I gracefully parry each attempt. I told her I already grieved the breakup and I'm done. You walked out that door, you walked into another man's house, that was all your choice. Now deal with the consequences.
I got a hoover after 17 years. I should have never accepted it. It lasted about 6 weeks and she imploded my life. Never again. These people are so toxic.
You are so helpful and comforting! It is vital to repeat over and over again to victims of narcissistic abuse that they are NOT at fault. It's a personality disorder. It's the way these abusers see and approach their delusional view of the world they live in while we are grounded in reality! Thank you for being you and your contribution to my healing journey! ❤
Remember folks, like a wise man said on a video, if you're watching these videos, possibly constantly, you're probably the victim of the abusive relationship, not necessarily narcissistic but for sure toxic, take care
Definitely toxic, these videos sure help. Many things that happened in my marriage sure lines up with her being a narcissist. The judge will be deciding just how toxic she truly was.
I recognized he makes up reasons to keep me on the side and amidst all of this, a past interest of mine showed up and he showed me what "normal" is. I wasted more than 3 years of my life to this narc and seeing what a healthy dynamic should look like was what brought me to the brink. I opened up the conversation saying "ok, this is the day I am cutting all communication from you. you will have no excuse to pop out of somewhere at any time in the future" and let it all out regarding all the bullsht he put me through in the last year. I wished him a good life and deleted him, even blocked from everywhere a couple days later. when you are finally done, you are legit done. I am happy to say I've did it. wishing the best to other victims of these people.
Mines gone into meltdown, one disaster after the next! I predicted it would happen and it’s even more shameless than I thought her capable of. I’m moving 1300 miles away and she is fully blocked. Keep up the great work Anoushka. You’ve been a huge help to me. 🙏🏼
It’s in the stars. So weird, and I’m not, a daily horoscope reader, but mine, was so on mark, with what was going on. They helped me along the way. Maybe you to can find you’re guiding light🤞
My relationship with a narcissist girl started to crumble apart because I wanted to get in the military. I started studying a lot, and was going out with her every wednesday and sunday. One sunday I told her I couldn't go out, because I needed to study. She started to ignore some messages and told me that I was not texting her. She got mad and told me she was starting to not like me and miss me because I was "distant". Then she said that if I get into the military we wouldn't be able to go out anymore. But here in Brazil saturday and sunday I would stay at home, so I would be able to stay with her. Basically she just wanted to use me for going out and helping her with College stuff, the moment I started to chase my own goals, she got mad.
Cats might be a better bet? Several of my cats over the years have been very wary or taken an active and instant dislike to people I’ve known with narcissistic traits/narcissism, including my ex.
@@misshelly They do indeed. I saw my ex go through several pets in our time, discarding them, most often to others in her family or back to the shelter when they started to mean more work/care than the supply they initially give.
@@camrysanders They triangulate from the start but then slowly crank up the heat when they need to gain the upper hand. It's tricks and illusions meant to decieve you. They are constantly pulling your strings while pulling everyone else's to control the narrative 🎭 They live center stage with others being secondary to them 🙄
@@camrysanders They subtly triangulate from the start but crank up the heat with others to keep you dancing to their tune so to speak. They are in control and you must know your role. You must pay attention to their cues and play along. You must maintain their false narrative to maintain their false reality. Masters of illusion, trickery & mimickry but not reality.
Trust me, you don’t want to experience that, it destroys you. This was 2 months ago and I am still having great problems with the aftermath. I lost two women: my mother and the girl I thought I loved.
It’s sad thing to know that all this long years you discovered this hidden personalities that now answers all the questions in my mind . It’s sad to know that all my effort and love and affection to him is just going into decay . All this is not going to have a happy ending .
I, ve dated a younger man, ( it was casual) Six times he only wanted me to give him oral. Gave nothing back, kissed me only because i asked and it was superquick, if i was a cactus. A lot of promises, he even faked a broken rib. But i must say that i,ve never felt more ugly and unattractive than with him. He said all pretty things but during sex the dirty talk was a bit too much, i now know that is what he probably thought of me.Darn, i,m still recovering, i knew he was weird but the sexual chemistry that was something i,ve never felt with any man. Indeed lying about everything
If he’s not willing to kiss you, you should never ever do anything more with him. Like I could neverrrrrr do anything with a man that didn’t want to kissing up on me! He deserves nothing more! Means he doesn’t like you, and he just wants his peepee played with! Yuck!!!!! And I’ve been with guys around my age that wanted oral but never wanted to give back in return! I regret that but I didn’t know any better until I met a man that did! Now I’m disgusted
Exactly he tried to come back but I value myself too much. He wanted marriage counseling but I told him it’s deeper than the marriage. He needs to see psychological help that goes back to his childhood. He suffered as a kid and he get a kick out of making people he feel dominant over suffer. He has a high lack of empathy it was funny seeing him trying to counsel other people. He cheated on me told the girl we were roommates (married for 9 years).
The whole thing is delusional. Dont spend one more second wasting your time and life on anyone who is so selfish. They are spoilt rotten kids who never grew up. Anyone who becomes a project in my life i now walk away from. Its not my lifes mission to fix everything. I so done with that 😊❤
My narc discarded me because he said he was dissatisfied with the relationship and doesn’t want to live together. He wasn’t abusive but has all the other typical traits. I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him again. It’s been 3 weeks.
In a 4 year relationship. I discarded first and she moved on and hoovered me after 3 months. The next 2 discards I was discarded. Again after 3 months I was hoovered and like a fool I took her back!!! This time I blocked her first after feeling devalued each minute with her. No contact 4 months. I'm sure she has moved on again. This time I'm 💯 sure she ain't coming back. Blocked her everywhere!!! Finally peace in my life!!! 3 weeks is nothing!!! They will be back
don't kid yourself cuz they're like leeches! They move from one relationship to another to satisfy their craving for attention . They'll get in touch again unless they've found a new or better source of supply. It could be six mths or a year, but they'll want to see it they can get anything else from you to satisfy their ego. I say this based on experience. I've grown accustomed to their little act and it's disgusting. They have no shame to hurt you or break your heart because all they care about is themselves.
My ex left and never talked to me or his son again. It's been 6 years. I can't comprehend not talking to my kid after a divorce. Now he was wrapped up in a rich woman and fancy hotels.
I told him I AM afraid of him and stop calling, he keeps calling and calling THE BLOCKING a is a joke they can still leave messages and texts, all BLOCKING a does is You won’t hear your phone ring
What about 4 years later when I had to contact him because our dog is dying (he has him, someone notified me) and he says “I have no feelings for you whatsoever. You will know what you need to know about MY dog. He’s blocked me everywhere. Claims he’s I a new relationship and his life is so great. This from a medical professional, who went through stage 4 cancer with me….just gone.
Mine texted at,3.30am after not seeing each other for THIRTEEN YEARS....He dumped me by text for someone off a dating site after three and a half years..... Please give me your thoughts 🤔
It can be 40 years as far as i have understood by watching theses videos. As she says, only you can decide to leave. You have to decide what you want in your life otherwise they will decide for you. Certain behaviours should not be excused because they strongly predict other behaviours. I think it is helpful to imagine that you do the same to them. Then you will probably realize that you could not do it even if you wanted to
Can someone help me understand this?? - my narc discarded me all of a sudden and dis not accept that he did it because of a new supply but i am damn sure as i saw a change in the behaviour and can sense someone is there in his life else he didn’t give me a sign a day before saying that this is not working and this relationship is not sustainable - he did not block me and initially after the discard i called him twice and he told me that he want to be distant as he only wants to focus on work and don’t want anything with me for a year. - keeping all the above in mind, i bid him farewell and blocked him… I don’t have anything in my heart for him…seems like i have left no feelings for him but my mind keeps on thinking about him…i see all these videos to know how he must be feeling, is he missing me, is he thinking about me, will he going to get his karma, will he ever come back.. why?? My heart is blank for him but why cant my mind stop ruminating about him???
@@Stayingsareene i will not take him back ever….he can go cheat as many times as he wants…i have moved on in my life..i feel so blessed that my god gave me all the strength and support of my loved ones 🙏🏻
Anoushka, I fully respect your work but somewhat disagree with the notion that a Narcissist won't forget you. Mine discarded me to the Police who arrested me and held me on Bail for 6 months. She lied and claimed I was stalking her. Police dropped all charges - no evidence of course. We had been "in a relationship" for 15 months. I went through the entire narcissistic cycle. But once they involve the police I can't imagine they will remember and certainly highly unlikely to hoover. What's your view?
A lass who has had that lip Botox how it is meant to look. It looks great on you, Anoushka. Why on gods green earth are some birds going ott with it? It makes them look hideous.
They will use you and abuse you forever IF you let them 👀
The relationship is an illusion
@@joycehowell1482 Yes it is. It’s a way to entangle you in their web later on, full of lies, manipulation and hurt. That’s what they thrive on. A bitter pill to swallow, but it is the truth.
I think I forced him in a deep shame, he knows that I know!!! So he knows he will never ever will have a chance to come back. This is game over! Period!!!!
That part!!
Me too!!!! Unfortunately I went with a co worker. And now that I told him that’s enough and he’s blocked and please don’t text me anymore, we’re acting like strangers and I’m trying to avoid him as much as possible. He’s walking around quiet
They will be back
"In the end only 3 things matter .How much you loved , how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you ". Jack Kornfield - Thank you as always Anoushka . Portsmouth NH, USA .
❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉 Magnificent gratitude beautiful SOUL, I am always trying 2 take the higher road. I'm away only 4 months But he's brutal, shamed me on social media, killed my chickens and my cat and moved in a new family and they stole my mother's jewelry and other things and he's blaming me 4 not taking what I valued.....it was my life first and The our adult disabled son.... I'm healing and I pray U R 2...... I'm in Keene NH ❤❤❤
Beautifully expressed !👍👍
Just Stop! Targets of narcissists don't owe abusive people love !
Thanks ❤
❤
She tried to come back 4 times now. She can't even admit that she wants to come back. She just makes an excuse to see me. I gracefully parry each attempt. I told her I already grieved the breakup and I'm done. You walked out that door, you walked into another man's house, that was all your choice. Now deal with the consequences.
Wow,
I'm surprised because the same sh.. happened to me.
It also happened to but I’m happy with my growth
Same
I got a hoover after 17 years. I should have never accepted it. It lasted about 6 weeks and she imploded my life. Never again. These people are so toxic.
You are so helpful and comforting! It is vital to repeat over and over again to victims of narcissistic abuse that they are NOT at fault. It's a personality disorder. It's the way these abusers see and approach their delusional view of the world they live in while we are grounded in reality! Thank you for being you and your contribution to my healing journey! ❤
Remember folks, like a wise man said on a video, if you're watching these videos, possibly constantly, you're probably the victim of the abusive relationship, not necessarily narcissistic but for sure toxic, take care
Narcissists watch them too. Many people want to be educated about these losers 🎉
Everyone knows targets of narcissists watch these videos. They are created for the targets not perpetrators.
It definitely has an anti gaslighting effect to watch these videos. It’s part of the healing process to bring it to consciousness.
Definitely toxic, these videos sure help.
Many things that happened in my marriage sure lines up with her being a narcissist.
The judge will be deciding just how toxic she truly was.
I recognized he makes up reasons to keep me on the side and amidst all of this, a past interest of mine showed up and he showed me what "normal" is. I wasted more than 3 years of my life to this narc and seeing what a healthy dynamic should look like was what brought me to the brink. I opened up the conversation saying "ok, this is the day I am cutting all communication from you. you will have no excuse to pop out of somewhere at any time in the future" and let it all out regarding all the bullsht he put me through in the last year. I wished him a good life and deleted him, even blocked from everywhere a couple days later.
when you are finally done, you are legit done. I am happy to say I've did it. wishing the best to other victims of these people.
Mines gone into meltdown, one disaster after the next! I predicted it would happen and it’s even more shameless than I thought her capable of.
I’m moving 1300 miles away and she is fully blocked.
Keep up the great work Anoushka.
You’ve been a huge help to me. 🙏🏼
It is REAL. A real warning for you to get out, and save yourself!!!!!
Yup. If I didn’t get out I swear I was gonna have a heart attack or something. My cortisol was so high and I was always fatigued being near them
He came back after 5 months
And he is trying it
He will never get another transaction, my account has been closed. No contact, never again entertaining that demon!.
Right same he said he will never stop trying but still has many supply…..make that make sense n all it is is sex
That "checking" account has been cancelled 😉✋🏼🚫
This video came at such an important time it's like the universe is sending me signs
It’s in the stars. So weird, and I’m not, a daily horoscope reader, but mine, was so on mark, with what was going on. They helped me along the way. Maybe you to can find you’re guiding light🤞
The devil thought i would keep going back
My relationship with a narcissist girl started to crumble apart because I wanted to get in the military. I started studying a lot, and was going out with her every wednesday and sunday.
One sunday I told her I couldn't go out, because I needed to study. She started to ignore some messages and told me that I was not texting her. She got mad and told me she was starting to not like me and miss me because I was "distant".
Then she said that if I get into the military we wouldn't be able to go out anymore. But here in Brazil saturday and sunday I would stay at home, so I would be able to stay with her.
Basically she just wanted to use me for going out and helping her with College stuff, the moment I started to chase my own goals, she got mad.
The best expert on this matter.
Dr. Ramani and Danesh Bashir has entered the chat. There are too many resources to nams.
Maybe we can train dogs to detect narccisist?
😂😂😂😂 oh how I wish 😂😂😂😂
Cats might be a better bet? Several of my cats over the years have been very wary or taken an active and instant dislike to people I’ve known with narcissistic traits/narcissism, including my ex.
My narc purposely tried to untrain my service dog after discard the dog returned to a trained state
@@pogofish1My cat was weary of him but his own cat worshipped him. They manipulate pets, too
@@misshelly They do indeed. I saw my ex go through several pets in our time, discarding them, most often to others in her family or back to the shelter when they started to mean more work/care than the supply they initially give.
Put so much in perspective , I really kept thinking what did I do that was so wrong
When things get REAL is when the narc loses interest 👀
I am not sure after year she just got engaged. I am surprised because he just got a divorce a year ago.
@@andrewsunderland9402
Meaning when the connection deepens from surface level to deeper intimacy they panick and pull away
I agree! When you start calling them out on the bs is when they bring other people in to your relationship, gaslight you or start devaluing you 😂
@@camrysanders
They triangulate from the start but then slowly crank up the heat when they need to gain the upper hand. It's tricks and illusions meant to decieve you. They are constantly pulling your strings while pulling everyone else's to control the narrative 🎭
They live center stage with others being secondary to them 🙄
@@camrysanders
They subtly triangulate from the start but crank up the heat with others to keep you dancing to their tune so to speak. They are in control and you must know your role. You must pay attention to their cues and play along. You must maintain their false narrative to maintain their false reality. Masters of illusion, trickery & mimickry but not reality.
It was definitely over for me when she blocked me on my mother’s funeral.
Trust me, you don’t want to experience that, it destroys you. This was 2 months ago and I am still having great problems with the aftermath. I lost two women: my mother and the girl I thought I loved.
@mauricevanschoonhoven1984 oh my god that's so awful. I'm so sorry
@@debral9651 Thank you ❤️
He told me after my mom passed,”At least I can still call my mom, I can’t say the same for you”
@@DaughterOfGod247 So that makes him better? What a cruel ……. No words, very sorry to hear that 😢❤️
Great video. This was one of the most straightforward, easy to understand videos on the topic that I've watched. Thank you
It’s sad thing to know that all this long years you discovered this hidden personalities that now answers all the questions in my mind . It’s sad to know that all my effort and love and affection to him is just going into decay . All this is not going to have a happy ending .
Awesome video .
Thank you
Despite what they say ...the discard is NOT forever
But your heartbreak 💔 is
Yep
This is scary. These people shouldn’t be able to date.
I, ve dated a younger man, ( it was casual) Six times he only wanted me to give him oral. Gave nothing back, kissed me only because i asked and it was superquick, if i was a cactus. A lot of promises, he even faked a broken rib. But i must say that i,ve never felt more ugly and unattractive than with him. He said all pretty things but during sex the dirty talk was a bit too much, i now know that is what he probably thought of me.Darn, i,m still recovering, i knew he was weird but the sexual chemistry that was something i,ve never felt with any man. Indeed lying about everything
If he’s not willing to kiss you, you should never ever do anything more with him. Like I could neverrrrrr do anything with a man that didn’t want to kissing up on me! He deserves nothing more! Means he doesn’t like you, and he just wants his peepee played with! Yuck!!!!! And I’ve been with guys around my age that wanted oral but never wanted to give back in return! I regret that but I didn’t know any better until I met a man that did! Now I’m disgusted
Sounds alot like the guy I was seeing, they are fools
My ex will never hoover, I called him out!
Exactly he tried to come back but I value myself too much. He wanted marriage counseling but I told him it’s deeper than the marriage. He needs to see psychological help that goes back to his childhood. He suffered as a kid and he get a kick out of making people he feel dominant over suffer. He has a high lack of empathy it was funny seeing him trying to counsel other people. He cheated on me told the girl we were roommates (married for 9 years).
The whole thing is delusional. Dont spend one more second wasting your time and life on anyone who is so selfish. They are spoilt rotten kids who never grew up. Anyone who becomes a project in my life i now walk away from. Its not my lifes mission to fix everything. I so done with that 😊❤
They need constant admiration, constant attention, constant adulation 🙄
My narc discarded me because he said he was dissatisfied with the relationship and doesn’t want to live together. He wasn’t abusive but has all the other typical traits. I don’t think I’ll ever hear from him again. It’s been 3 weeks.
In a 4 year relationship. I discarded first and she moved on and hoovered me after 3 months. The next 2 discards I was discarded. Again after 3 months I was hoovered and like a fool I took her back!!! This time I blocked her first after feeling devalued each minute with her. No contact 4 months. I'm sure she has moved on again. This time I'm 💯 sure she ain't coming back. Blocked her everywhere!!! Finally peace in my life!!! 3 weeks is nothing!!! They will be back
Blessed.❤
don't kid yourself cuz they're like leeches! They move from one relationship to another to satisfy their craving for attention . They'll get in touch again unless they've found a new or better source of supply. It could be six mths or a year, but they'll want to see it they can get anything else from you to satisfy their ego. I say this based on experience. I've grown accustomed to their little act and it's disgusting. They have no shame to hurt you or break your heart because all they care about is themselves.
My ex left and never talked to me or his son again. It's been 6 years. I can't comprehend not talking to my kid after a divorce. Now he was wrapped up in a rich woman and fancy hotels.
Nobody’s any longer loving all are behind interest. When interest ends, your relationship will end as well.
I told him I AM afraid of him and stop calling, he keeps calling and calling
THE BLOCKING a is a joke they can still leave messages and texts, all BLOCKING a does is
You won’t hear your phone ring
She would never Hoover. The trash is the only place she places a discard
im not sure whether mine was a narc or an avoidant but either way, not good. is it wrong i still want an apology and a come back?
Nope, he won’t even talk to me…always gave me the silent treatment…he’s with new supply! He never even NOTICED me…he’s too self absorbed…
What about 4 years later when I had to contact him because our dog is dying (he has him, someone notified me) and he says “I have no feelings for you whatsoever. You will know what you need to know about MY dog. He’s blocked me everywhere. Claims he’s I a new relationship and his life is so great. This from a medical professional, who went through stage 4 cancer with me….just gone.
The funny thing they call you the Narcissist, esp if u dared to date someone new soon after disgard..
For some, it is. 2 years and still going strong. Not one single peep.
mine either and I am blocked on everything and I didn't want the divorce.
Mine texted at,3.30am after not seeing each other for THIRTEEN YEARS....He dumped me by text for someone off a dating site after three and a half years..... Please give me your thoughts 🤔
Block and delete
@@a-new-me567 After 20 years we were in each others face! I said never & walked away the rest is like a movie . Finally I have peace
Wow 13 years....
@@a-new-me567have done 👍
@@LouiseO78unnerving
so it can be 8 months with nothing and they pop up again one day?
It can be 40 years as far as i have understood by watching theses videos. As she says, only you can decide to leave. You have to decide what you want in your life otherwise they will decide for you. Certain behaviours should not be excused because they strongly predict other behaviours. I think it is helpful to imagine that you do the same to them. Then you will probably realize that you could not do it even if you wanted to
The discard may in fact be "rupture". Which means it's not the end, there are other doctors.
No. One wanted to go back
Can someone help me understand this??
- my narc discarded me all of a sudden and dis not accept that he did it because of a new supply but i am damn sure as i saw a change in the behaviour and can sense someone is there in his life else he didn’t give me a sign a day before saying that this is not working and this relationship is not sustainable
- he did not block me and initially after the discard i called him twice and he told me that he want to be distant as he only wants to focus on work and don’t want anything with me for a year.
- keeping all the above in mind, i bid him farewell and blocked him…
I don’t have anything in my heart for him…seems like i have left no feelings for him but my mind keeps on thinking about him…i see all these videos to know how he must be feeling, is he missing me, is he thinking about me, will he going to get his karma, will he ever come back.. why??
My heart is blank for him but why cant my mind stop ruminating about him???
Cos he hasn’t given you closure in a respectable way xx
@@salmaraja5777 thank you for replying..🙏🏻
I had the same thing
But I walked away 5 months ago
N then he came back
I think the other lady walked away from him… don’t look back I’m done with him
@@Stayingsareene i will not take him back ever….he can go cheat as many times as he wants…i have moved on in my life..i feel so blessed that my god gave me all the strength and support of my loved ones 🙏🏻
I ❤ this one 😊
Anoushka, I fully respect your work but somewhat disagree with the notion that a Narcissist won't forget you. Mine discarded me to the Police who arrested me and held me on Bail for 6 months. She lied and claimed I was stalking her. Police dropped all charges - no evidence of course. We had been "in a relationship" for 15 months. I went through the entire narcissistic cycle.
But once they involve the police I can't imagine they will remember and certainly highly unlikely to hoover. What's your view?
What was name of girl? I had one in bali too who was nuts
How do I know if the person has NDP or BDP?
🕊️🕊️🕊️
My covert narcissist wife must hate it cause I change my phone number, and by the way she has burned ever Bridge here we're I live.
💯
They will gey their karma for sure
I hope so.
A lass who has had that lip Botox how it is meant to look. It looks great on you, Anoushka. Why on gods green earth are some birds going ott with it? It makes them look hideous.
👍👍👍👍
but do"t most women do these things? if so are most women narcissist?.
Omg. Three minutes in and she’s still in the intro. Word salad. Sorry I can’t.
All of these videos are wrong and extremely toxic to viewers. The toxic people are the people putting the videos out. They are the narcissists