“Love is not enough & life is so painfully short”. A man’s actions will tell you what he values & believes. When his words don’t match his actions - run! PS: Don’t lie to yourself about how miserable you are.
And tbh i was lying to myself bc i feel I was being codependent and i told him that i couldn't see myself without him so....i stuck it out for awhile even tho he wasnt giving me what he was in the beginning which was more of his time and having deep meaningful conversations. I need that for me to stay in a any kind of relationship really. But yeah he just kept it so surface level which was killong m3 slowly ha. I couldn't take it anymore so i pulled away..and just replied to him when he'd reach out..we just had a tiff on Monday and i haven't heard from him since lol..idk..ima think he nvr really cared or felt what i was feeling in the situationship. I tried to just keep it like friendly although he wanted more but i tried to keep it healthy lol i was like done..i have self respect so im not going to keep entertaining his shenanigans smh 😅 men🙂🌧
He is right. I had a "fuck this" moment and now I realize I really need to spend my enegry towards someone who do likes me and wants to do stuff with me instead of just wasting my time or pillow talking me dreams just to keep his ego steady
Very on point. In my 50s a widower on first date told me he didn’t want a relationship. He was fun, generous, exciting. 4 months later he broke my heart. It would have hurt less if I’d walked after that first date.
I have wasted my twenties with relationships I should have left, filled with emotional and physical abuse. I am 29 now and even though I am still young it is hard to grieve those years I let myself be treated that way. this is such an important message ❤
Honestly, I think it's very hard to date in our twenties. Both we and other people are maturing and trying to construct our foundations as adults (learning our lessons from our mistakes as well). School never prepared us to know how to navigate through our relationships and self-development, unfortunately. Still, in my case I believe I am doing my work but that means saying "no" to many guys that aren't on the same page as me. They say women are emotionally mature at the age of 32 while men reach it at 43 (average). We are talking about a big gap here. I agree with many things that Matt says, but as women, staying single is the biggest protest we end up unconsciously doing (especially heterossexual women). So don't be too harsh on yourself, I'm sure you are becoming an amazing person and your future partner will be very lucky =)
I’ve been lying to myself that it’s okay and it will be okay. I expressed myself so many times on how want to be treated and what my standards are. He’ll be good for a month and it’s like a clockwork. I’m so done with this bs. Life is too short. There’s someone out there that will treat me way better
No wonder you're sick and tired of that. I've just finished watching Mikhaila Peterson's podcast no. 111 with Guy Winch on recovering from heartbreak and he said not to listen to any words, literally blank them out. Instead, just watch their actions if you want to see hiw much or little they're interested. Found that awesome. Too often words paint a totally different picture than their actions, action being the only one that matters. Let's hope I can keep this in mind in my next relationship 😂🙈
Compatibility has this notion of "equality". Having similar goals in life, having more things in common than differences, putting equal amount of effort in the relationship... That is carrying the relationship very far so he is right on that.
I walked away from a 2 year relationship that you just described to a tee!!!! He was incredibly openly emotionally unavailable, and I was so ready and wanted to love. I stayed because I kept thinking "well once ge gets to know me"...." nope, no no... didn't work and in the end. I felt so completely drained, depressed, bad about my self, unworthy. I gave and gave and gave becuase I love and he took.... I felt like his human blow up doll... but I kept saying yes... I'm so glad my eyes are open, and I finally walked away finally. 3 months later, I'm finally feeling a bit like me again. What a leason
I’m glad you left! Your situation was similar to mine and I left early this month .. 😢 it’s hard but we need to heal because we gave and gave and we should heal this before entering a relationship .. we will find someone who will give and take; it’ll be balanced 🤍
You're absolutely right they need to hear it, I I'm in a 5-year relationship and I asked him where does he see this going and he said he wasn't ready yet. I planned on leaving anyway. I started watching your UA-cam videos and you just helped me reinforce the reasons why I should not stay and you hit every one of them on the mark. So thank you so much for saying it because yes we need to hear it over and over again although we already know it. It doesn't matter how much we love them with our heart and soul we cannot make them love us if they don't. Thank you for your wisdom, thank you for sharing this information with us and thank you for reconfirming and reinforcing. I'm in the process of moving out now.
You are making the right choice because you are choosing the only person who's always by your side: yourself. I hope you can feel better soon. I'd strongly recommend psychoteraphy. I was on a pattern of choosing toxic partners for years. Therapy made me understand I had the power to choose someone who loves me truly and that depended solely on me because I command my life. You deserve the world! ♥️🙏
A book author once called what you're describing being a placeholder, until the right one comes along. Hit me hard. Then I started being more pushy and one boyfriend of 1,5 years actually got an ultimatum (as per Steve Harvey, we know if this is the person we want to marry after 6 months of dating). Hate time wasters. Congrats on your freedom and best of luck going forward. Oh btw, I've just finished listening to Mikhaila Peterson's podcast no. 111 with Guy Winch on moving on after heartbreak, it was really informative, you might find it helpful.
The death of your life, your soul, your confidence, happiness…what kind of life are we living if we’re afraid to leave. Be afraid of staying! (Love it!) you’re going to feel pain anyway! Leaving means possibility! Be honest with yourself! This guy is absolutely true!
I think if you're meeting someone for the first time in person and you don't want to waste your time you have to hardball, in other words, you have to interrogate. It's important to know if you and the other person have the same intentions. If you don't ask them what they're looking for and what their intention is etc, you're likely to end up having your time wasted and in a situationship that you don't want to end up in.
And you can do that in a pleasant way, not only an unpleasant interrogating way that will definitely put people off the first time you meet them. But you're right about wanting to get the information you need as soon as you can
Matthew is so damn right! I would engrave every word he's saying here to prompt me on every step of the way leading myself to being insecure or in pain in the relationship!
Yup i mentally friendzoned the guy who " claimed" we are dating but he is not sure he wants a romantic relationship. He feels pressured to " date" because he feels he is old & its time. We are at early stages of getting to know each other and he said this. Instead of convincing this guy how wonderful it is to be in a relationship. I dont contact him anymore & continue my search in online dating. I dont take it personally. This is his issue. Not mine.
@@1anbolo I believe that when you meet the right person, they'll just wish that they'd met you earlier. And they wouldn't worry about too much too soon, because they wouldn't be able to wait to start the rest of their life with you. They'll be so psyched about it! So please don't blame yourself ❤ I hope you're doing better now.
I’m only 24, and feel upset because I started this relationship just after I’d turned 21. Those were years I didn’t put into myself at all and I wish I had. I can have a completely fresh start which is great, but I wish I’d invested more into myself in those years. I’ve learnt though that it’s all a lesson anyway, it’s taught me How I am in a relationship and how I can improve for myself and my partner
This video is spot on. Asking his intentions very early on is important. If you want to settle down, anyone being wishy-washy, is a no go. If you truly want to settle down, please DO NOT sleep with a man for quite awhile. If he is cool with that, he truly does want to get to know you for who you are and has the best of intentions. If he can't handle that, he just wanted to get into your pants more times than not.
Thank you soooo much for posting this video. His passion spoke volumes. I cried because I was in a (13 year) toxic relationship. I have since left and, because meeting men in your 40s (with kids) seems to be difficult, had tried a dating app. The guy I am talking to now had a profile that seemed real. And he claimed to be looking to find a relationship. Well, we have been "talking" via text for months. He claims to just not have a lot of time to date.... Um, how do you expect to develop a relationship if you don't have "time" to devote to it? I have been patient and understanding, but I was/am looking for someone that has "time" to put into a relationship. I have expressed to him that "I do not want to feel as if I am a doll on a shelf waiting to be played with". I told him I want to be with someone that "wants to skip a sport game on TV to spend time with me". I am learning that this is not him. This video has given me the... confirmation I needed to end this. I have had doubts and ill feelings, but chose to squash them because he is "busy with 2 jobs (he has a great paying 1st job- why is a second one needed?) and family things". I'm sure he is a nice guy, but he is not in the same place I am and (i feel) is hiding something. So that you very much!
Sounds like the Anthem for men who are just looking for something short term rather than anything solid. Because let’s face it, what real gentleman who is literally looking for a genuine connection with someone going to say those things “not enough time” or what have you. It’s really a great thing you walked away and avoided a potential disappointment. This is why I personally avoid apps. Just something about them invites insecure people who hide things. (Many experiences with it) it’s a lot better to just connect with someone at a more comfortable venue like places you actually enjoy because more often than not you’d meet people there who enjoy the same thing and therefore increases your shot at connecting with them. But that’s me. I hope you meet someone great soon enough! 🙏🏼
Yes don’t bother with this man and don’t even waste time telling him what you want, he already told you he is “too busy” so don’t even try to change his mind. Drop him and keep looking. I suggest finding someone else who also has kids..
Sis, I feel you. Don’t let this man waste another ounce of your precious energy or squander another second of your invaluable time. It’s better to be single than let a man drain you like this. (P.S. I recommend the Female Dating Strategy podcast… it’s a goldmine of good advice and confidence-building.)
Pls be strong and move on... If he into you definitely he will do some efforts,, if he doesn't then pls move on.. be single is much better than being in a bad relationship.. thanks 🙂
This is a very common type of toxic male online dater, the kind who just texts/messages interminably with you - and many other women too. It’s some bizarre kick that a certain type of guy gets from it. Stay away, don’t fall for it! Rule #1 of online dating: don’t waste time talking or texting, if you think they might look attractive/interesting to you, meet up with them ASAP. Don’t get pulled into the time wasters.
I wish you found me earlier lol. But I AM ! Shifting my perspective. I love that I am learning. Your generation is so smart!!!! Thank you ! I lost my entire late 30 and 40s. 23 years. ‘ I was not the one they wanted’. It was a fantasy. An illusion. I hung in there. You are so right ! God bless you !
@@grantlaurence2060 So unreliable...and inconsistent? Some people only get it when they're given their own medicine. After many attempts to communicate.
Maybe you could gift the person you ghosted with the truth. That individual most likely doesn’t have time to waste on you, wondering what happened. It takes nothing to do the kind thing. Ghosting is a cowardly exit strategy.
"Leave or stay, you will feel pain", wow that really hit me. I really needed to hear that today. I really love my boyfriend, but he is not that ambitious about career and growth, like I am. So, also like Matthew said, stop thinking he will change, you are in this relationship right now. Do you still want to be in this relationship your whole life ?
I'm 32 just broke up with this guy I was in a situationship with. We had 1 disagreement and he suddenly told me I was a bad partner. Not 7 years being his emotional pin cushion, not when he wanted to become a stripper. Not when he dropped out of college on a fucking scholarship with only 5 classes left! Supported him through all that and more. And I realized loving him is not going to change him and I need to let him go. I'll be sad yea but I'll be OK. Everything is going OK! He has his own demons he doesn't want to deal with and I'm not going to fix them for him!
Yes, it will hurt. It will hurt a lot. But sometimes, walking away is the only thing you can do. It will hurt. Really hurts! You will battle this and at the end you will be stronger. The life you have now is in your hands.
Oh Wow! Matthew Hussey did it again! He really has the power to articulate the right words to wake you up and enlighten you! So glad I heard this!!! 👏👊💪 "____ this! I'm never again gonna stake my life on the idea that this is going to change. Let me find someone who has the same outlook as me who has the same goals as me."
Everything he said, is completely match in my relationship.. Because he told me earlier he can't marry me... And he can't leave me... I'm scared about breakup pain.... But last 7 years of my life are so painful.. When I'm trying to breakup with him,,he became more toxic... Now I'm decided to not waste my life thank you Mathew.... My english is not to good.....
I love hiw passionate matthew was on here...shows how much he truly cares for us all being unhappy bc times running out to stay stuck when we aren't getting any younger..love you Matthew ❤ from one caring human to another of course 😌
We are SO lucky to have this advice. He’s so right that this message can change the trajectory of someone’s life if taken action. Thank you Hussey, your passion is infectious and I can see your heart as you’re speaking. I’m SO GRATEFUL I stumbled on this video when I did.
Thank u so much. I needed that. Especially leaving or staying is gonna be pain. I needed that encouragement that leaving was right decision. And staying was pain, so now it's better.
Exactly what I thought F@&k this - Thank you Matthew God Bless I needed this slap on the face to wake me up!!! The guy I’m with for nearly two years, doesn’t leave me alone constantly chases me when I try to leave him, tells me he loves me but doesn’t want to be intimate nor label our relationship, it’s been two days since I’ve ended this stupid relationship that I was higor would have eventuated to something , time to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and move on
This is the best video on YT. I’m currently at a crossroads but I think I know which path I have to take thanks to this for making it so painfully clear x
This is such great advice - DON’T waste time on believing you can change a mindset when the actions and words are already in front of your eyes and ears.
I ended it last night. He understood as we were very honest with each other and where we were. He was not looking for anything serious and I was looking towards long term. Hung out for 3 months and my anxiety sky rocketed as did my feeling but it was not going to end well if I kept it going.
Im proud of you for your decision. It’s so hard as are the ensuing months… so much for ambivalence/mixed feelings. I well know what work on emotions is like having accumulated a few ACES from the early years. I wish for you love and respect.
My life was literally changed by one of Matthew's videos. I had an aha moment that helped me leave an abusive relationship. Thank you so much Matthew for doing what you do . ❤️
Even when a woman says well we'll just hang out and be FRIENDS see where this goes 🚩 bad idea ! You are gonna be sorry in the end because your further damaging your soul. You got friends to hang out with and if you don't then be your own friend, enjoy your own company not some guy you like and he just wants to hang out and have a good time. Loneliness is something you must be very careful with because you can get involved with someone who you should not .
@@bindicat9070 yes, loneliness can draw you to getting involved with the wrong people, Man or Woman. I know I've been there so now I am very careful about that. I'd rather learn to enjoy my own company rather than to get involved with the wrong people. I pray for Holy Spirit to comfort and guide me . I am praying for Holy Spirit to comfort and guide you too bindicat9070 God Bless
I have spent so much time alone that I am seeking a relationship but on the way to find it there's so much men that gotta be weed out! Some are honest, some are weak some are broken ... Still hanging in there. At least now I know potential aint hope!🤘
This message is very explosive, actually you say it like it is !!! It makes a lot of sense when you actually look at what's happening in your life, thanks for sharing ❤❤
More women need to take the time to get to know a guy before getting intimate. If he leaves after a few weeks he never really liked you that much. It takes at least 3 months seeing the guy in different situations to get some real impression of him. Longer is even better. It’s not a guarantee but at least you won’t be as emotionally attached and vulnerable. Plus there’s less risk of unwanted pregnancy.
This is so true! If you're the kind of woman who would see "I'm not looking for a relationship" as a challenge, he will never see you as worthy enough to commit to, men want women who are a challenge and have a high sense of self worth. A woman with high worth would walk away as soon as he said that...that is, if she was even looking for a relationship.
Wow, this was such a powerful segment! His passion for women making the right decisions really spoke loudly to me. Thank you for sharing this moment in the segment.
I'm the 'not ready' person who ends up unintentionally hurting people who pursue me. It's so frustrating because I'm getting to the age where I feel like my young high potential years are more numbered and figured I'd be settled by now and want to be but at the same time I don't want it and can't seem to function romantically anymore after an abusive relationship I was in. When I try to date now I resent the other person for infringing on my independence. I want to be over that and can't seem to no matter the 3+ years and therapeutic self work I've done
Im glad you are doing “therapeutic self work “. That is a very broad statement. My hope is that you are working with a professional in mental health. I was badly burned by a man whose approach was independent introspection. Ultimately his distortions and self beliefs destroyed our relationship. Be well.
you realize these people are just grifter's right? this whole motivational life guru bullshit is just people selling you products all these people just take Adderall and say things that sound good and all you people suck it up
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
😂😂😂
“Love is not enough & life is so painfully short”. A man’s actions will tell you what he values & believes. When his words don’t match his actions - run! PS: Don’t lie to yourself about how miserable you are.
And tbh i was lying to myself bc i feel I was being codependent and i told him that i couldn't see myself without him so....i stuck it out for awhile even tho he wasnt giving me what he was in the beginning which was more of his time and having deep meaningful conversations. I need that for me to stay in a any kind of relationship really. But yeah he just kept it so surface level which was killong m3 slowly ha. I couldn't take it anymore so i pulled away..and just replied to him when he'd reach out..we just had a tiff on Monday and i haven't heard from him since lol..idk..ima think he nvr really cared or felt what i was feeling in the situationship. I tried to just keep it like friendly although he wanted more but i tried to keep it healthy lol i was like done..i have self respect so im not going to keep entertaining his shenanigans smh 😅 men🙂🌧
I totally know that feeling ❤👍
Sanjeev, I really needed to read this today! Thank you.
True !!!!
Every young lady needs to listen to Matthew Hussey. Too many of us waste so much time on the wrong men!
He is right. I had a "fuck this" moment and now I realize I really need to spend my enegry towards someone who do likes me and wants to do stuff with me instead of just wasting my time or pillow talking me dreams just to keep his ego steady
I agree with you....he's right...I for sure had a fuck this moment life short as hell...hell with the pain let's move on from toxic relationship
@@michellelee4140 yeah, looking back at my old situation I cringe at the thought of for why I even liked the guy in the first place.
@@melteddarkchocolate000 that makes both of us I wish someone would've slapped me back to reality
I feel this too..
Same
Very on point. In my 50s a widower on first date told me he didn’t want a relationship. He was fun, generous, exciting. 4 months later he broke my heart. It would have hurt less if I’d walked after that first date.
I have to cry every time I hear Matthew speaking...I would love to hear it 10-15 years ago when I made all those mistakes...
I complete relate to this. I wish I had all of those wasted years back! 😢
SAME.
I have wasted my twenties with relationships I should have left, filled with emotional and physical abuse. I am 29 now and even though I am still young it is hard to grieve those years I let myself be treated that way. this is such an important message ❤
same here.. glad at least I got it now.. some never do.. sad indeed
Those experiences are required and see them as GROWTH and experience now because without this, you wouldn't know what you want and what you don't
Honestly, I think it's very hard to date in our twenties. Both we and other people are maturing and trying to construct our foundations as adults (learning our lessons from our mistakes as well). School never prepared us to know how to navigate through our relationships and self-development, unfortunately. Still, in my case I believe I am doing my work but that means saying "no" to many guys that aren't on the same page as me. They say women are emotionally mature at the age of 32 while men reach it at 43 (average). We are talking about a big gap here.
I agree with many things that Matt says, but as women, staying single is the biggest protest we end up unconsciously doing (especially heterossexual women). So don't be too harsh on yourself, I'm sure you are becoming an amazing person and your future partner will be very lucky =)
Uh,I know how it feels.
You’re still so young. Don’t worry. You can still find love ❤
I’ve been lying to myself that it’s okay and it will be okay. I expressed myself so many times on how want to be treated and what my standards are. He’ll be good for a month and it’s like a clockwork. I’m so done with this bs. Life is too short. There’s someone out there that will treat me way better
Sounds like a covert narcissist
No wonder you're sick and tired of that. I've just finished watching Mikhaila Peterson's podcast no. 111 with Guy Winch on recovering from heartbreak and he said not to listen to any words, literally blank them out. Instead, just watch their actions if you want to see hiw much or little they're interested. Found that awesome. Too often words paint a totally different picture than their actions, action being the only one that matters. Let's hope I can keep this in mind in my next relationship 😂🙈
Don’t sleep with another man.. until he proves it. Stay strong 💪 better than tears
Absolutely true. Don't be dying while you live.
Compatibility has this notion of "equality". Having similar goals in life, having more things in common than differences, putting equal amount of effort in the relationship... That is carrying the relationship very far so he is right on that.
I walked away from a 2 year relationship that you just described to a tee!!!! He was incredibly openly emotionally unavailable, and I was so ready and wanted to love. I stayed because I kept thinking "well once ge gets to know me"...." nope, no no... didn't work and in the end. I felt so completely drained, depressed, bad about my self, unworthy. I gave and gave and gave becuase I love and he took.... I felt like his human blow up doll... but I kept saying yes... I'm so glad my eyes are open, and I finally walked away finally. 3 months later, I'm finally feeling a bit like me again. What a leason
🙌🙌🙌
I’m glad you left! Your situation was similar to mine and I left early this month .. 😢 it’s hard but we need to heal because we gave and gave and we should heal this before entering a relationship .. we will find someone who will give and take; it’ll be balanced 🤍
My situation is also similar dear...
Good on you!
All the best for your future.
Me the same! He said the exactly the same words, and I do get hurt deeply, deeply.
You're absolutely right they need to hear it, I I'm in a 5-year relationship and I asked him where does he see this going and he said he wasn't ready yet. I planned on leaving anyway. I started watching your UA-cam videos and you just helped me reinforce the reasons why I should not stay and you hit every one of them on the mark. So thank you so much for saying it because yes we need to hear it over and over again although we already know it. It doesn't matter how much we love them with our heart and soul we cannot make them love us if they don't. Thank you for your wisdom, thank you for sharing this information with us and thank you for reconfirming and reinforcing. I'm in the process of moving out now.
You are making the right choice because you are choosing the only person who's always by your side: yourself. I hope you can feel better soon.
I'd strongly recommend psychoteraphy. I was on a pattern of choosing toxic partners for years. Therapy made me understand I had the power to choose someone who loves me truly and that depended solely on me because I command my life.
You deserve the world! ♥️🙏
A book author once called what you're describing being a placeholder, until the right one comes along. Hit me hard. Then I started being more pushy and one boyfriend of 1,5 years actually got an ultimatum (as per Steve Harvey, we know if this is the person we want to marry after 6 months of dating). Hate time wasters. Congrats on your freedom and best of luck going forward. Oh btw, I've just finished listening to Mikhaila Peterson's podcast no. 111 with Guy Winch on moving on after heartbreak, it was really informative, you might find it helpful.
After 5 years?
You can do this! Another lucky soul is waiting for you.
The death of your life, your soul, your confidence, happiness…what kind of life are we living if we’re afraid to leave. Be afraid of staying! (Love it!) you’re going to feel pain anyway! Leaving means possibility! Be honest with yourself! This guy is absolutely true!
I think if you're meeting someone for the first time in person and you don't want to waste your time you have to hardball, in other words, you have to interrogate. It's important to know if you and the other person have the same intentions. If you don't ask them what they're looking for and what their intention is etc, you're likely to end up having your time wasted and in a situationship that you don't want to end up in.
And you can do that in a pleasant way, not only an unpleasant interrogating way that will definitely put people off the first time you meet them.
But you're right about wanting to get the information you need as soon as you can
Matthew is so damn right! I would engrave every word he's saying here to prompt me on every step of the way leading myself to being insecure or in pain in the relationship!
"Be honest with yourself about how miserable you are". So profound... we tell the best lies to ourselves. 😔
Yup i mentally friendzoned the guy who " claimed" we are dating but he is not sure he wants a romantic relationship.
He feels pressured to " date" because he feels he is old & its time.
We are at early stages of getting to know each other and he said this.
Instead of convincing this guy how wonderful it is to be in a relationship. I dont contact him anymore & continue my search in online dating.
I dont take it personally. This is his issue. Not mine.
It happened to me too after meeting his family on a trip and I know it’s his problem but I also feel I scared him but showing too much too soon
On
@@1anbolo I believe that when you meet the right person, they'll just wish that they'd met you earlier. And they wouldn't worry about too much too soon, because they wouldn't be able to wait to start the rest of their life with you.
They'll be so psyched about it!
So please don't blame yourself ❤
I hope you're doing better now.
@@Ira.1oh thank you!! Now I’m engaged with the most amazing man 😍
I’m only 24, and feel upset because I started this relationship just after I’d turned 21. Those were years I didn’t put into myself at all and I wish I had. I can have a completely fresh start which is great, but I wish I’d invested more into myself in those years. I’ve learnt though that it’s all a lesson anyway, it’s taught me How I am in a relationship and how I can improve for myself and my partner
I’m so Sick of men and dating apps. I will meet someone in person in the future! For now I’m on vacations for dating.
How’s it going so far with your vacation? I feel the same thing right now with dating and apps.
This video is spot on. Asking his intentions very early on is important. If you want to settle down, anyone being wishy-washy, is a no go.
If you truly want to settle down, please DO NOT sleep with a man for quite awhile. If he is cool with that, he truly does want to get to know you for who you are and has the best of intentions. If he can't handle that, he just wanted to get into your pants more times than not.
So true! So relatable. Hope I heard your words earlier and I could avoid my last heartbreak.
Actually this advice applies to all people not just women, I have a feeling many men need to hear this as well
Damn Matthew was on fire in this
Thank you soooo much for posting this video. His passion spoke volumes. I cried because I was in a (13 year) toxic relationship. I have since left and, because meeting men in your 40s (with kids) seems to be difficult, had tried a dating app. The guy I am talking to now had a profile that seemed real. And he claimed to be looking to find a relationship. Well, we have been "talking" via text for months. He claims to just not have a lot of time to date.... Um, how do you expect to develop a relationship if you don't have "time" to devote to it? I have been patient and understanding, but I was/am looking for someone that has "time" to put into a relationship. I have expressed to him that "I do not want to feel as if I am a doll on a shelf waiting to be played with". I told him I want to be with someone that "wants to skip a sport game on TV to spend time with me". I am learning that this is not him. This video has given me the... confirmation I needed to end this. I have had doubts and ill feelings, but chose to squash them because he is "busy with 2 jobs (he has a great paying 1st job- why is a second one needed?) and family things". I'm sure he is a nice guy, but he is not in the same place I am and (i feel) is hiding something.
So that you very much!
Sounds like the Anthem for men who are just looking for something short term rather than anything solid. Because let’s face it, what real gentleman who is literally looking for a genuine connection with someone going to say those things “not enough time” or what have you. It’s really a great thing you walked away and avoided a potential disappointment. This is why I personally avoid apps. Just something about them invites insecure people who hide things. (Many experiences with it) it’s a lot better to just connect with someone at a more comfortable venue like places you actually enjoy because more often than not you’d meet people there who enjoy the same thing and therefore increases your shot at connecting with them. But that’s me. I hope you meet someone great soon enough! 🙏🏼
Yes don’t bother with this man and don’t even waste time telling him what you want, he already told you he is “too busy” so don’t even try to change his mind. Drop him and keep looking. I suggest finding someone else who also has kids..
Sis, I feel you. Don’t let this man waste another ounce of your precious energy or squander another second of your invaluable time. It’s better to be single than let a man drain you like this. (P.S. I recommend the Female Dating Strategy podcast… it’s a goldmine of good advice and confidence-building.)
Pls be strong and move on... If he into you definitely he will do some efforts,, if he doesn't then pls move on.. be single is much better than being in a bad relationship.. thanks 🙂
This is a very common type of toxic male online dater, the kind who just texts/messages interminably with you - and many other women too. It’s some bizarre kick that a certain type of guy gets from it. Stay away, don’t fall for it! Rule #1 of online dating: don’t waste time talking or texting, if you think they might look attractive/interesting to you, meet up with them ASAP. Don’t get pulled into the time wasters.
There are many guys like what he describes. Do not tolerate it.
Now THIS is what I call an eye opener. I appreciate Matthew so much, thank you brother I really needed to hear that.
I wish you found me earlier lol. But I AM ! Shifting my perspective. I love that I am learning. Your generation is so smart!!!! Thank you ! I lost my entire late 30 and 40s. 23 years. ‘ I was not the one they wanted’. It was a fantasy. An illusion. I hung in there. You are so right ! God bless you !
I just ghosted a man because of inconsistency and unreliability. I don't have time today!
Why ghosting? Just be honest if that’s what you want
ghosting is awful!
@@grantlaurence2060 So unreliable...and inconsistent? Some people only get it when they're given their own medicine. After many attempts to communicate.
Maybe you could gift the person you ghosted with the truth. That individual most likely doesn’t have time to waste on you, wondering what happened. It takes nothing to do the kind thing. Ghosting is a cowardly exit strategy.
Thank you so much for this , you’ve helped me so much over the years . I wasted 8 years on someone who wasn’t sure he wanted a relationship!
"Leave or stay, you will feel pain", wow that really hit me. I really needed to hear that today. I really love my boyfriend, but he is not that ambitious about career and growth, like I am. So, also like Matthew said, stop thinking he will change, you are in this relationship right now. Do you still want to be in this relationship your whole life ?
I'm 32 just broke up with this guy I was in a situationship with. We had 1 disagreement and he suddenly told me I was a bad partner. Not 7 years being his emotional pin cushion, not when he wanted to become a stripper. Not when he dropped out of college on a fucking scholarship with only 5 classes left! Supported him through all that and more. And I realized loving him is not going to change him and I need to let him go. I'll be sad yea but I'll be OK. Everything is going OK! He has his own demons he doesn't want to deal with and I'm not going to fix them for him!
Girl you were in a situationship for 7 years?! More like you were his doormat.. ouch
Good decision. You are not his savior. Cut him loose and start respecting and loving yourself.
@@yshujh9372well she has ended it now, so let's celebrate her courage and wish her all the best for the future
Having conversation and learning what people are looking for in life is alright. I am always looking for friends first regardless.
He is absolutely amazing. He helped me so many years ago when I was single. I have my soul person now. 😌
Yes, it will hurt. It will hurt a lot. But sometimes, walking away is the only thing you can do. It will hurt. Really hurts! You will battle this and at the end you will be stronger. The life you have now is in your hands.
You said it, Matt! I hope my friend learns from this because she likes someone who doesn't want a serious relationship.
Oh Wow! Matthew Hussey did it again! He really has the power to articulate the right words to wake you up and enlighten you! So glad I heard this!!! 👏👊💪 "____ this! I'm never again gonna stake my life on the idea that this is going to change. Let me find someone who has the same outlook as me who has the same goals as me."
Everything he said, is completely match in my relationship.. Because he told me earlier he can't marry me... And he can't leave me... I'm scared about breakup pain.... But last 7 years of my life are so painful.. When I'm trying to breakup with him,,he became more toxic... Now I'm decided to not waste my life thank you Mathew.... My english is not to good.....
Hope you are doing well? ❤
I love hiw passionate matthew was on here...shows how much he truly cares for us all being unhappy bc times running out to stay stuck when we aren't getting any younger..love you Matthew ❤ from one caring human to another of course 😌
This was so raw, straight to the point and real !!!
I appreciate his commentary.. thank you so much cause I needed to hear every word ❤
Time is precious get feal and ask up front questions! Saves every time
Thx so much for your wisdom. I recognize that I waisted my time for 8 years with the wrong,partner 😢
You are too good at what you are doing and truely i need to hear this,better late than never will
Love how passionate Matthew is about this topic 🤍
We are SO lucky to have this advice. He’s so right that this message can change the trajectory of someone’s life if taken action. Thank you Hussey, your passion is infectious and I can see your heart as you’re speaking. I’m SO GRATEFUL I stumbled on this video when I did.
I'm one of the ones that needed this right now 🤦🏽♀🙏🏼❤
I’m a guy and watching this. 5 years into it. It’s my fuck this moment. Let’s all heal together
Thank u so much. I needed that. Especially leaving or staying is gonna be pain. I needed that encouragement that leaving was right decision. And staying was pain, so now it's better.
Love Mattew's passion here ...he's just speaking his heart out , barely taking a breafh ...that's what it means to love your job and your calling 👏👏👏
Exactly what I thought F@&k this - Thank you Matthew God Bless I needed this slap on the face to wake me up!!! The guy I’m with for nearly two years, doesn’t leave me alone constantly chases me when I try to leave him, tells me he loves me but doesn’t want to be intimate nor label our relationship, it’s been two days since I’ve ended this stupid relationship that I was higor would have eventuated to something , time to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and move on
We women live in dreams
This is the best video on YT. I’m currently at a crossroads but I think I know which path I have to take thanks to this for making it so painfully clear x
This is such great advice - DON’T waste time on believing you can change a mindset when the actions and words are already in front of your eyes and ears.
My always problem when I meet someone I like, easily to fall without knowing the intention of the person🤦🏻♀️
Matthew is so wise. His advice gets better and better and better.
I ended it last night. He understood as we were very honest with each other and where we were. He was not looking for anything serious and I was looking towards long term. Hung out for 3 months and my anxiety sky rocketed as did my feeling but it was not going to end well if I kept it going.
Im proud of you for your decision. It’s so hard as are the ensuing months… so much for ambivalence/mixed feelings.
I well know what work on
emotions is like having accumulated a few ACES from the early years.
I wish for you love and respect.
This is time saving and life changing for me. Many thanks for putting out here so clear❤️
Yes Matthew!!!! You are helping me with this very hard topic!!!! I can't thank you enough! You have a holy spirit!
so true! the death of me..feeling pain hanging around for a bloke who just dont want me..living in hope for years
My life was literally changed by one of Matthew's videos. I had an aha moment that helped me leave an abusive relationship. Thank you so much Matthew for doing what you do . ❤️
OMG . @9:38..I said the exact thing he did😂. Intuitive man. Glad he found his mate. Let GOD bless me with mine.
Even when a woman says well we'll just hang out and be FRIENDS see where this goes 🚩 bad idea ! You are gonna be sorry in the end because your further damaging your soul. You got friends to hang out with and if you don't then be your own friend, enjoy your own company not some guy you like and he just wants to hang out and have a good time. Loneliness is something you must be very careful with because you can get involved with someone who you should not .
Great comment!
I am noticing my loneliness and don’t want to attract the wrong person…
@@bindicat9070 yes, loneliness can draw you to getting involved with the wrong people, Man or Woman. I know I've been there so now I am very careful about that. I'd rather learn to enjoy my own company rather than to get involved with the wrong people. I pray for Holy Spirit to comfort and guide me . I am praying for Holy Spirit to comfort and guide you too bindicat9070 God Bless
I have spent so much time alone that I am seeking a relationship but on the way to find it there's so much men that gotta be weed out! Some are honest, some are weak some are broken ... Still hanging in there. At least now I know potential aint hope!🤘
my life is saved by this video, thank you so much
This message is very explosive, actually you say it like it is !!! It makes a lot of sense when you actually look at what's happening in your life, thanks for sharing ❤❤
More women need to take the time to get to know a guy before getting intimate. If he leaves after a few weeks he never really liked you that much. It takes at least 3 months seeing the guy in different situations to get some real impression of him. Longer is even better. It’s not a guarantee but at least you won’t be as emotionally attached and vulnerable. Plus there’s less risk of unwanted pregnancy.
Yup
I’m miserable in & out of the relationship 😢
Great video Matthew !
Sooooo right!! Omigawd! I wish I heard this when I was in my teens and not in my almost 40s post divorce!
Wow for Matthew’s sincere PASSION! Thank you!
This is so true! If you're the kind of woman who would see "I'm not looking for a relationship" as a challenge, he will never see you as worthy enough to commit to, men want women who are a challenge and have a high sense of self worth. A woman with high worth would walk away as soon as he said that...that is, if she was even looking for a relationship.
Cried through the entirety of this video.
This is an eye opener. Thank you!😊
Wow, this was such a powerful segment! His passion for women making the right decisions really spoke loudly to me. Thank you for sharing this moment in the segment.
I’m that person who needed this. Thank you from my whole heart. 🙏
Thank you for your message! I can say that I am that girl you just saved her time of life. ❤ Keep doing what you doing please 🙏🏻
I'm the 'not ready' person who ends up unintentionally hurting people who pursue me. It's so frustrating because I'm getting to the age where I feel like my young high potential years are more numbered and figured I'd be settled by now and want to be but at the same time I don't want it and can't seem to function romantically anymore after an abusive relationship I was in. When I try to date now I resent the other person for infringing on my independence. I want to be over that and can't seem to no matter the 3+ years and therapeutic self work I've done
Im glad you are doing “therapeutic self work “. That is a very broad statement. My hope is that you are working with a professional in mental health. I was badly burned by a man whose approach was independent introspection. Ultimately his distortions and self beliefs destroyed our relationship. Be well.
I love you Mathew .. You made me make the right decision .. You woke me up .. Thank you :')
Thank you so much for this message,I NEEDED TO HEAR THIS! I appreciate your words . 🙏 💜
THANK YOU 💟 For that message, Matt ! And to you, Lisa for your talks. Always great content with you two ! ♥️♥️
Wow! This was powerful and I absolutely needed to hear it! Life changing!
Great job Matthew!! Excellent, thank you for your passion and wisdom!
Thank you. You're amazing. Every video I have watched of yours has helped me so much in my current situation! Thank you thank you 🙂
“Something different”
❤❤❤
❤.. this was so effortlessly impactful!
you realize these people are just grifter's right? this whole motivational life guru bullshit is just people selling you products all these people just take Adderall and say things that sound good and all you people suck it up
Expressed passionately by Matthew! He so good at what he does!
....and this is the video that changes my life.....
This was just what I needed to hear today. Thank you 🤍🤍🤍
Absolutely!!! Same for me!!!💯🙏🏾💪🏾
I fall in love with Lisa everytime i see her. She is the most adorable sweetest woman ❤
Hahahaha it’s funny how he’s so passionate talking about these things haha 😂 good job Matthew haha
I'm so happy to be single again!!! 🌞 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
Thank you, Matthew. Thank you.
That was powerful!!
Thank you! It is life changing! ❤
Loved ths video. Needed to hear this today. I appreciate your passion about this subject ❤️
Makes segment my ring tone.
Thats just what Tina said
What love got to do with it ❤❤❤
Me!! He’s talking to me!! 👏🏼
Thank you for your passionate video. It is beyond helpful and your advice is the golden ticket to have a successful decision regarding love.
I can feel his frustration 🤭😶🌫️❤️
He was angry.
Not angry ,just letting others know the truth ,it was from his heart..❤
Literally, I love him
Needed to hear this today!! 🙏🏼
That’s exactly what I did. F@#k this and walked away. Not another word. It hurt but feels so good
Powerful and so true!
Brilliant going to watch it right now