It’s definitely a gross phenomenon how long women stay in unhappy relationships. Walking away before it gets sour is something we need to get better at
There are definitely more things we should be doing before we walk away before it goes sour. Self relflection and owning our part and changing those behaviors that could be feeding what makes us unhappy. Only then, if things still continue to fail after that, then it’s smart to step away
@@cherylzarczynski7642 I like to encourage women for getting out situations that low self worth causes said women to choose or stay in bad relationships…as that is hard and takes a lot of strength to grow and leave as love grows. However, as someone that dealt with someone very selfish and self serving for 10 years, your statement could reply to him or any narcissistic person. They love themselves more and leave too, so if your situation is the first, I wish you the best and congratulations! I hope you tried to give that growth to the partner you chose before leaving not just out of fairness to them but for peace of mind for you because as long as you grow, you will have moments of self reflection that will make you wonder your part in what you went through and ponder on what could’ve been different or better or worse if we were more healed…. If you don’t have those moments, I would suspect you played a bigger part than once thought in the demise of the relationship…just playing devils advocate to sharpen the mind and emotions and ego….
Who really cares? Once I'm done with a man, it means I'm disgusted and sick of him. How he feels about me then doesn't matter one bit to me. If it takes me not wanting him to respect and long for me then that is really fucked up. It is also very immature and I want nothing to do with a man like that.
When I am done with a man, I just want him to go away and leave me alone. I don’t want him to try and come back or give him a second chance. He showed me who he was, and it wasn’t something I was interested in. I’m out of here. No time for their BS. I like being single. I don’t have to have someone by my side to be happy.
I shared this with my women friends in our Betrayal Trauma Group. This essay is the exact description of the women “inside” (our souls) we are healing, working toward and wanting to become. Perfectly said.
I’m 30 and embodying this for the first time in my life, I’ve never loved myself more and extremely grateful to be here in this moment. The narrative many women are unfortunately taught is actually abuse disguised as love. The trickiest part about that is that when people show you true love you won’t recognize it as that because you’ve never experienced it before. I had to educate myself through therapy and journaling and books and many years of reading to finally understand that only when you wake up to the truth of unconditional love through boundaries does your entire life change. It is transformative and the effects you have ripple out into the entire world like you never have. It’s a never ending journey and that is the beauty in it. Embrace it all, trust the process, and find the strength you’ve been looking for within. The one you’ve been seeking is truly within. ❤
My sp ghosted me because I live in a women's shelter ....im working at a popular restaurant as a server so that probably also turned him off, and have been saving for my apartment....I am proud of who I am and will not tolerate any person who judges my living situation. I know my value and I am independent....I have everything I need in life and that is Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, and Adonai, my beloved Heavenly Father❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@OurDreamsInMotion Thank you for the comment. I've been so depressed ...I keep thinking of him but these comments are what I also come for...the encouragement from all who have been hurt and their wise comments are so helpful like this video.
This video hit home for me thank you so much! I just divorced from an emotional abuser for 24 years. I am finally learning who I am and starting to love myself and put myself first. Awesome video!
I just walked away he is shattered. Im not interested to take him back however if he shows me his actions speak louder than words I need to see actions I refuse to live on false promises. I refuse manipulation.
My ex abruptly said that he thought we should break up. So, instead of traveling all the back across country with him I asked him to take me to the nearest airport. I did this with no arguing, no bitterness and only with respect for his words. It has been almost 19 months and he has reached out several times with very nice words. However, these have been just words and I am very happy without worrying that he will do this again. I am genuinely content.
I let go of my Ex,,, best decision after forgiveness over and over then I woke up and realized WHO I WAS …. Beautiful,smart , with a great heart ,,, he wasn’t even romantic 💘 at all, my love languages were deprived,, I stood up for myself even though I knew I was signing up for years of loneliness 😢,,
I already knew the situation of my situation...just needed Peter to give it to me straight and reaffirm what I already knew and felt. Thank you! The second guessing and uncertainty always gets us ladies! I needed to hear this and today of all days 🙏 a thousand thank yous 🩷🩷🩷
We had been seeing each other for about six months when at dinner one night he wanted to know where I stood in our relationship. At that point, I thought we had developed a good friendship. Physical contact was still just a very innocent peck on the cheek at the end of the date. After all he was going to be my next-door neighbor and I thought we were just getting to know each other. We had developed a good friendship. He asked if I wanted to see other people. I was surprised because I didn’t think we were exclusive at that point. I told him that I wasn’t looking for anybody at that point. But that if he wanted to date other people he could. After that meeting, he later related to me that he thought about what I had said and decided that no, he did not want to date other people. He wanted to date just me. In his mind, he was more sure than ever that he wanted to pursue me. Things progressed slowly, but we were in love within two weeks after that conversation. Deeply in love, like twin souls in love.
All the words spoken in this video deeply resonated with me. People who don't let go and cling to and hold on to relationships do so because of fear and shame - fear of failure, hidden shame they refuse to acknowledge and face, and, yes, as mentioned in the video, dependency on the other person. But all these things just push the other person away even more. This has been my experience with the father of my kids who refuses to respect my boundaries and who refuses to let go of me and of a relationship that no longer exists. Letting go isn't easy but it is definitely liberating.
So they then take what they learned and make their next relationship better, because they are never brave enough to say to the strong women “ I made a mistake , and I apologize. I don’t want lose you. Help me be a better man so I can save our relationship.” Nope, they never want to show how vulnerable they are. It’s really very fucked up. Then they call you every few months for the next 5 years to see if the door might still be open, but they never ask to come in, because they are afraid to hear the answer.
This is what avoidant attachment types do. It’s horribly painful to the partner who’s been discarded. This video is probably speaking more towards a securely attached man/woman relationship.
Sooooo, so good!! Thank you for this! This gives me so much hope, and comfort in what I DO know God has spoken. Waiting patiently for my special man in God’s timing!
I don’t tend to agree with Jordan peterson’s ideologies, but this is the first time I’ve (already) had a viewpoint on something that he shares and articulates so well. The only thing I could say I disagree with is his use of the word “independence” rather than “interdependence” when referring to this idea of a woman. Though I do understand what he means, I think he would do well not to misspeak. There’s too much emphasis society places on being an “independent woman who doesn’t need anyone” rather than a woman who has a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship with those around her. Because let’s face it, us humans are a social species… by definition it means we DO need each other, and there’s nothing wrong with it. I would think this would be a word he’s LESS likely to misuse lol-
This goes for both sexes. Neither party should accept less than they deserve or compromise their values in the name of dependency. That is unhealthy either way❤there should be no power players. Honor respect and service should be given equally. Once someone is in submission (unless it’s for naughty time 😅), it’s over. And if it’s not “over” it’s toxic
I just must have walked away from the man that isn't like any of these because it took me a while to choose myself but it doesn't seem like it mattered to him then or now
I let him go after his infidelity, I asked for significant changes in our life style and he asked me to give him time. When I noticed nothing changed in 6?months , I was separated all that time. After one year filed divorce and after three years of legal battle ended 23 years of marriage. I never worked but went to school and now soon start as a nurse. I learn so much in this that now I feel everything for a reason. When he came to know that I filed a divorce, he asked forgiveness and my reply was I already forgive you but it does not mean we start living again. Life is beautiful just how we see it no matter what 🎉
If you’re a man and you need a woman in your life only for her to eventually leave so you can become “whole” by her absence then you’re doing it wrong..
@@Joybean111thank you for reminding our sisters that unconditional love goes both ways to men and women, this video is not intended to cause a rise in the woman’s ego. Men are truly like dogs, extremely cute, loving, loyal, dedicated, friendly, and happy. Every dog is born this way, the outcome of who they become depends on who their alpha is. Give a dog love and it will easily give you loyalty, give a dog bitterness and it will easily return that. Nobody is perfect including women and through unconditional love with boundaries is the only way to live. It doesn’t mean people are perfect and will never make a mistake, it’s more so about watching actions to determine if it was a mistake or purposeful manipulation and gently re-establishing boundaries when appropriate.❤
@ absolutely!! I think this was meant to be under my other comment? Not sure but either way, I agree❤️ I think that this video is empowering.. but just want to encourage women to not actually take that as literally having power over the man, (something ive seen happen often), as that is counterproductive. We need to create harmony and balance between the masculine and feminine energies, the way it was intended
@@Joybean111 yes certainly, I just really enjoyed your process of thinking wanted to add on it :) I’m glad this resonated with you because what you wrote resonates with me too. Exactly, nobody holds the power over others, avoid Ego!! ❤️
With all the KI stuff going around on TikTok and Instagram, I can't believe it 100% that Peterson actually said this when there's no video evidence.. also because it sounds pretty monotone
❤ SOME MEN are NITS, it DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP . The Way that I see this A WOMAN 👠 Should be ALONE AND pursue HER Passions . With. J. O. Y PEACE and HAPPINESS. 😊❤ Love yourself and the enjoyment of this LIFE.
Aaaa…not quite accurate.. An independent woman attracts. She is a challenge, but ..more and more men, regardless of their age, find it to difficult. And as I mentioned before, successful men don’t have time or patience to pursue a woman who is “independent “. Absolutely, everybody should have self esteem and act independently. So why there are so many educated, attractive, intelligent, nice young women who cannot find a lasting partner ? I know a lot of them. I am not saying a woman should be a doormat, but ..from what I have seen in my long life, those who keep pursuing a strong woman are usually desperate.
Independent women have trouble meeting men that make as much as we do or more. We also don't want a manchild and there are lots of those and serial daters. I myself have difficulty meeting men without children and makes at least as much as I do or at least have a college degree as I find intelligence attractive. I have several degrees and a masters degree. Independent women can't find emotinally mature men who only bring a job to the table. We would rather stay single if we can't find a quality relationship..Stay single and enjoy your life, if you can't find a man that meets your needs and brings something to the table.
I think about God's humility, we can talk to Him at any time. He can, but He doesn't go away, even if we ignore Him and give Him silent treatment. We still don't appreciate Him.
I don’t believe so….the woman is strong and thoughtful in and of herself. She has power ( healthy boundaries) so she can live a life of respect and being respected and responded to.
It’s definitely a gross phenomenon how long women stay in unhappy relationships. Walking away before it gets sour is something we need to get better at
👏
Couldn't have imagined saying it any better!!!
There are definitely more things we should be doing before we walk away before it goes sour. Self relflection and owning our part and changing those behaviors that could be feeding what makes us unhappy. Only then, if things still continue to fail after that, then it’s smart to step away
I walked. I realized I love myself more ❤
@@cherylzarczynski7642 I like to encourage women for getting out situations that low self worth causes said women to choose or stay in bad relationships…as that is hard and takes a lot of strength to grow and leave as love grows. However, as someone that dealt with someone very selfish and self serving for 10 years, your statement could reply to him or any narcissistic person. They love themselves more and leave too, so if your situation is the first, I wish you the best and congratulations! I hope you tried to give that growth to the partner you chose before leaving not just out of fairness to them but for peace of mind for you because as long as you grow, you will have moments of self reflection that will make you wonder your part in what you went through and ponder on what could’ve been different or better or worse if we were more healed…. If you don’t have those moments, I would suspect you played a bigger part than once thought in the demise of the relationship…just playing devils advocate to sharpen the mind and emotions and ego….
Who really cares? Once I'm done with a man, it means I'm disgusted and sick of him. How he feels about me then doesn't matter one bit to me. If it takes me not wanting him to respect and long for me then that is really fucked up. It is also very immature and I want nothing to do with a man like that.
1000000%
Exactly
Same
Amen!!!
Right
When I am done with a man, I just want him to go away and leave me alone. I don’t want him to try and come back or give him a second chance. He showed me who he was, and it wasn’t something I was interested in. I’m out of here. No time for their BS. I like being single. I don’t have to have someone by my side to be happy.
I shared this with my women friends in our Betrayal Trauma Group. This essay is the exact description of the women “inside” (our souls) we are healing, working toward and wanting to become. Perfectly said.
"When I am done with a man." I wonder how many you have had so far. This speech is for long-term relationships. High connection and commitment!
I’m 30 and embodying this for the first time in my life, I’ve never loved myself more and extremely grateful to be here in this moment. The narrative many women are unfortunately taught is actually abuse disguised as love. The trickiest part about that is that when people show you true love you won’t recognize it as that because you’ve never experienced it before. I had to educate myself through therapy and journaling and books and many years of reading to finally understand that only when you wake up to the truth of unconditional love through boundaries does your entire life change. It is transformative and the effects you have ripple out into the entire world like you never have. It’s a never ending journey and that is the beauty in it. Embrace it all, trust the process, and find the strength you’ve been looking for within. The one you’ve been seeking is truly within. ❤
X 10:58
My sp ghosted me because I live in a women's shelter ....im working at a popular restaurant as a server so that probably also turned him off, and have been saving for my apartment....I am proud of who I am and will not tolerate any person who judges my living situation. I know my value and I am independent....I have everything I need in life and that is Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, and Adonai, my beloved Heavenly Father❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
You are enough as you are Goddess ❤
@OurDreamsInMotion Thank you for the comment. I've been so depressed ...I keep thinking of him but these comments are what I also come for...the encouragement from all who have been hurt and their wise comments are so helpful like this video.
This video hit home for me thank you so much! I just divorced from an emotional abuser for 24 years. I am finally learning who I am and starting to love myself and put myself first. Awesome video!
This 💯 i let someone go in 2021 and he came back a couple months ago so trying it again. Wish us luck🍀
This is the best video I have seen on boundaries!
Beautifully true. I hope he learns and grows from me to love the next person better. 💕
I just walked away he is shattered. Im not interested to take him back however if he shows me his actions speak louder than words I need to see actions I refuse to live on false promises. I refuse manipulation.
My ex abruptly said that he thought we should break up. So, instead of traveling all the back across country with him I asked him to take me to the nearest airport. I did this with no arguing, no bitterness and only with respect for his words. It has been almost 19 months and he has reached out several times with very nice words. However, these have been just words and I am very happy without worrying that he will do this again. I am genuinely content.
@@dlwilliamson5644The first time would be the last time for me. If he’s so willing to throw it away, then he must not value it enough. I’d be done.
I let go of my Ex,,, best decision after forgiveness over and over then I woke up and realized WHO I WAS …. Beautiful,smart , with a great heart ,,, he wasn’t even romantic 💘 at all, my love languages were deprived,,
I stood up for myself even though I knew I was signing up for years of loneliness 😢,,
Its better to be alone then to be with someone who doesn't love you in the ways that you deserved to be loved. ❤️
But this does not happen always. Many men do not realize this at all. They let go
why do i have to leave to make him see my worth in the first place, he wasnt up to my level
A lot of men and women will not know where the walls are until they crash into them.
I already knew the situation of my situation...just needed Peter to give it to me straight and reaffirm what I already knew and felt. Thank you! The second guessing and uncertainty always gets us ladies! I needed to hear this and today of all days 🙏 a thousand thank yous 🩷🩷🩷
This lecture is amazing, very eloquently spoken. Respect.🫡
We had been seeing each other for about six months when at dinner one night he wanted to know where I stood in our relationship. At that point, I thought we had developed a good friendship. Physical contact was still just a very innocent peck on the cheek at the end of the date. After all he was going to be my next-door neighbor and I thought we were just getting to know each other. We had developed a good friendship. He asked if I wanted to see other people. I was surprised because I didn’t think we were exclusive at that point. I told him that I wasn’t looking for anybody at that point. But that if he wanted to date other people he could. After that meeting, he later related to me that he thought about what I had said and decided that no, he did not want to date other people. He wanted to date just me. In his mind, he was more sure than ever that he wanted to pursue me. Things progressed slowly, but we were in love within two weeks after that conversation. Deeply in love, like twin souls in love.
Awesome!
I'm just learning it at 40+. Gratefull for the lessons but all this time wasted is gone forever.
All the words spoken in this video deeply resonated with me.
People who don't let go and cling to and hold on to relationships do so because of fear and shame - fear of failure, hidden shame they refuse to acknowledge and face, and, yes, as mentioned in the video, dependency on the other person.
But all these things just push the other person away even more.
This has been my experience with the father of my kids who refuses to respect my boundaries and who refuses to let go of me and of a relationship that no longer exists.
Letting go isn't easy but it is definitely liberating.
Thank you Dr. Paterson
Stop lying to get with women who are too good for you, then romanticizing it like you matter. You don't.
Savage yet accurate roast 😂❤👏
Yo yo yo! 😂😅
"too good" !? Okay. What the hell does that even mean?
I suppose the only men that are good enough for you are rich guys with nice cars?
@Milohenry13 You know what you pretend to be. Men know exactly what we want. Your gaslighting is like you were never potty trained.
Accurate!
This is not Jordan Peterson's voice. It is a great video and great reflexion, no need to lie about it.
So they then take what they learned and make their next relationship better, because they are never brave enough to say to the strong women “ I made a mistake , and I apologize. I don’t want lose you. Help me be a better man so I can save our relationship.” Nope, they never want to show how vulnerable they are. It’s really very fucked up.
Then they call you every few months for the next 5 years to see if the door might still be open, but they never ask to come in, because they are afraid to hear the answer.
True, it's better to leave coward people...
This is what avoidant attachment types do. It’s horribly painful to the partner who’s been discarded.
This video is probably speaking more towards a securely attached man/woman relationship.
This doesn’t work with a narcissist!
Sooooo, so good!! Thank you for this! This gives me so much hope, and comfort in what I DO know God has spoken. Waiting patiently for my special man in God’s timing!
Somewhat cobbled, but really nice. Thank God.
I don’t tend to agree with Jordan peterson’s ideologies, but this is the first time I’ve (already) had a viewpoint on something that he shares and articulates so well. The only thing I could say I disagree with is his use of the word “independence” rather than “interdependence” when referring to this idea of a woman. Though I do understand what he means, I think he would do well not to misspeak. There’s too much emphasis society places on being an “independent woman who doesn’t need anyone” rather than a woman who has a healthy and mutually beneficial relationship with those around her. Because let’s face it, us humans are a social species… by definition it means we DO need each other, and there’s nothing wrong with it. I would think this would be a word he’s LESS likely to misuse lol-
Thank you!
Good video …! Thank you:)
Thanks i finally decided to let her go in a respectful manner and 2days straight no sleep
This goes for both sexes. Neither party should accept less than they deserve or compromise their values in the name of dependency. That is unhealthy either way❤there should be no power players. Honor respect and service should be given equally. Once someone is in submission (unless it’s for naughty time 😅), it’s over. And if it’s not “over” it’s toxic
I just must have walked away from the man that isn't like any of these because it took me a while to choose myself but it doesn't seem like it mattered to him then or now
Uhhh, is this actually Peterson? Doesn’t sounds like him 😅
This does not sound like Peterson at all
Same thoughts
Maybe he was younger during the recording
I let him go after his infidelity, I asked for significant changes in our life style and he asked me to give him time. When I noticed nothing changed in 6?months , I was separated all that time. After one year filed divorce and after three years of legal battle ended 23 years of marriage. I never worked but went to school and now soon start as a nurse. I learn so much in this that now I feel everything for a reason. When he came to know that I filed a divorce, he asked forgiveness and my reply was I already forgive you but it does not mean we start living again. Life is beautiful just how we see it no matter what 🎉
If you’re a man and you need a woman in your life only for her to eventually leave so you can become “whole” by her absence then you’re doing it wrong..
Evolution is a process❤
@@Joybean111thank you for reminding our sisters that unconditional love goes both ways to men and women, this video is not intended to cause a rise in the woman’s ego. Men are truly like dogs, extremely cute, loving, loyal, dedicated, friendly, and happy. Every dog is born this way, the outcome of who they become depends on who their alpha is. Give a dog love and it will easily give you loyalty, give a dog bitterness and it will easily return that. Nobody is perfect including women and through unconditional love with boundaries is the only way to live. It doesn’t mean people are perfect and will never make a mistake, it’s more so about watching actions to determine if it was a mistake or purposeful manipulation and gently re-establishing boundaries when appropriate.❤
@ absolutely!! I think this was meant to be under my other comment? Not sure but either way, I agree❤️ I think that this video is empowering.. but just want to encourage women to not actually take that as literally having power over the man, (something ive seen happen often), as that is counterproductive. We need to create harmony and balance between the masculine and feminine energies, the way it was intended
@@KISwithMaria very subtle wisdom
@@Joybean111 yes certainly, I just really enjoyed your process of thinking wanted to add on it :) I’m glad this resonated with you because what you wrote resonates with me too. Exactly, nobody holds the power over others, avoid Ego!! ❤️
20:55-21:06
Where was this from??
With all the KI stuff going around on TikTok and Instagram, I can't believe it 100% that Peterson actually said this when there's no video evidence.. also because it sounds pretty monotone
@@Fiebi95same
This isnt jordan peterson 😑
It’s still interesting 🙏🏽👏🏽😀
@elnorareddick615 it's an ego massage🤣 JP would never indulge anyone like this🤣
❤ SOME MEN are NITS, it DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP .
The Way that I see this A WOMAN 👠
Should be ALONE AND pursue HER Passions . With. J. O. Y PEACE and HAPPINESS. 😊❤
Love yourself and the enjoyment of this LIFE.
My X wouldn't let me go and I got wound up in a 30 year relationship I didn't expect.
I tried to break up.
Amen. ❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏
Wooooo🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
🙌🏾👏🏾
Yea they fall so hard they never talk to me again 😂😂😂
Aaaa…not quite accurate..
An independent woman attracts. She is a challenge, but ..more and more men, regardless of their age, find it to difficult.
And as I mentioned before, successful men don’t have time or patience to pursue a woman who is “independent “.
Absolutely, everybody should have self esteem and act independently. So why there are so many educated, attractive, intelligent, nice young women who cannot find a lasting partner ?
I know a lot of them.
I am not saying a woman should be a doormat, but ..from what I have seen in my long life, those who keep pursuing a strong woman are usually desperate.
Independent women have trouble meeting men that make as much as we do or more. We also don't want a manchild and there are lots of those and serial daters. I myself have difficulty meeting men without children and makes at least as much as I do or at least have a college degree as I find intelligence attractive. I have several degrees and a masters degree. Independent women can't find emotinally mature men who only bring a job to the table. We would rather stay single if we can't find a quality relationship..Stay single and enjoy your life, if you can't find a man that meets your needs and brings something to the table.
💗
🎉🎉🎉
I think about God's humility, we can talk to Him at any time. He can, but He doesn't go away, even if we ignore Him and give Him silent treatment. We still don't appreciate Him.
Does this mean the strong woman is leading the man?
I don’t believe so….the woman is strong and thoughtful in and of herself. She has power ( healthy boundaries) so she can live a life of respect and being respected and responded to.
Very repetitive
People listen to videos whos creators take time to get the title grammatically correct. Lol
❤