DO THESE 6 Things To Get Him ADDICTED To You Forever! | Matthew Hussey

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 30 чер 2024
  • lewishowes.com/gmyo - Get my NEW book The Greatness Mindset today!
    lewishowes.com/greatnessdeliv... - Sign up for my FREE newsletter & get a dose of inspiration from our world-class guests, learn how to improve your life!
    Download podcast episodes a week early! www.lewishowes.com/pod
    Matthew Hussey is a sought-after dating coach and NYT best-selling author who is a breath of fresh air in the dating advice scene.
    You can follow me at:
    Website: lewishowes.com/
    Facebook: / lewishowes
    Twitter: / lewishowes
    Instagram: / lewishowes
    Tiktok: / lewis
    Linkedin: / lewishowes

КОМЕНТАРІ • 683

  • @luckyrabbit2
    @luckyrabbit2 2 роки тому +301

    I love the trash can analogy. I don’t know why this showed up my algorithm but it definitely gets me thinking about my husband when we first met and what has kept us so happy these last 18 years. For me, it is the simple fact that from day 1 of living together (after marriage) he always comes out the front door to great me in the driveway. He has the same look on his face today as the first time he came out to greet me all those years ago. He opens my car door, grabs my water bottle and purse, gives me a kiss and checks the trunk to see if anything needs to be brought inside. I can’t tell you how much I love and appreciate that he does this everyday. How does he still feel so excited to see me? I know I am blessed. I cherish him and our daughter with all my heart. Take care of each other, laugh a lot, have a short memory and be quick to forgive.

  • @CandaceJDunkley
    @CandaceJDunkley 2 роки тому +251

    Four components to a successful relationship (about an hour and 21 minutes in:) 1. Admiration 2. Connection 3. Commitment 4. Compatibility

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  2 роки тому +13

      🙌

    • @jillioknucklehead2182
      @jillioknucklehead2182 2 роки тому +16

      But also the 2nd half, don't be one dimensional and find a unique pairing, an "and", don't be boring and entitled, love takes work. The more being a rare bird, the more unique pairing makes them harder to lose

    • @jillioknucklehead2182
      @jillioknucklehead2182 2 роки тому +17

      Towards the last quarter: Don't be needy, insecure, boring, expect a partner to fix it, and especially for too long, it's too much pressure, keep working on yourself.

    • @jillioknucklehead2182
      @jillioknucklehead2182 2 роки тому +15

      Also check out the "Mel Robbins" guest talk on UA-cam on "compatibility" the 11 mins is gold.

    • @lostfree2307
      @lostfree2307 2 роки тому +1

      My

  • @sherylF5610
    @sherylF5610 2 роки тому +113

    One thing I would like to mention - if ever you are approached by another who presents themselves as interested in you, just be kind. If you are not interested, just be kind. This advice is for everyone.

  • @jamiezintgraff3413
    @jamiezintgraff3413 2 роки тому +87

    I was adamantly against asking out a guy that I liked. I believed that I deserved to be pursued and that if he didn't make the first move by asking me out, or even talking to me, he wasn't doing that. I wanted a man who was assertive and manly and I didn't think he was because he hadn't talked to me in months. After watching one of Matthew's videos talking about how hard it was for men, I decided I would ask the guy I liked out for coffee. I worked up the nerve and he was delighted. We hit it off amazingly and have been inseparable since. I now know that he wanted to talk to me but would not have asked me out as he believed it would have been inappropriate because of the situation and he was tired of putting himself out there and being rejected over and over. Turns out, he is assertive, incredibly engaged and communicative, and has pursued me every step of the way. Taking the chance to ask him out and "drop my handkerchief" was the best decision I ever made, and I realized playing hard to get was actually hurting me.

    • @stevec3526
      @stevec3526 2 роки тому +3

      Few Good Men will approach a woman unless she gives a clear signal to him. A smile, a flip of your hair while looking at him. These all give a signal to man that you are open to an approach.

    • @UnpredictableAri
      @UnpredictableAri 2 роки тому +3

      If he is indeed, assertive , then he should’ve had no problem initiating communication with you. So if he is assertive etc and didn’t do that, then he may have not been as interested.. not to be mean.. but men rarely turn women down so once you asked, he probably just went along with it. If he lacks the confidence to approach me then I rather not bother personally

    • @soulfulexpansions
      @soulfulexpansions Рік тому +1

      I literally went thru like a near five yr period where every man I met made me make the first move!? It was like a thing. I felt like I was being taught some unknown lesson by the universe
      Guy would sit there the whole night ! And not make a move but want to. It drove me nuts!!

    • @jamiezintgraff3413
      @jamiezintgraff3413 Рік тому +3

      @@UnpredictableAri That may have been initially true, but I took a lot of factors into play when making my decision. We only saw each other in a church setting (awkward place to meet someone, especially when you’re not a teen or young single) and I have 3 children who were with me on a regular basis. I thought the same thing as you which is why I refused to talk to him first, but I didn’t know him or his history. A mid thirties man going around church asking single mothers if they want to go on dates would come across as more agressive than assertive, in my opinion. (There was an older man who asked to get to know me more and I believed his approach to be assertive, which I liked at first. But it was quickly revealed that he was agressive, manipulative, and lied to me about very important information.) We were both fairly new to the church and still getting to know people, so mingling can take some time. I guess I could have simply introduced myself and initiated conversation as opposed to asking him to get coffee with me, but I knew I already had a crush, I’m in my thirties with three kids, not interested in games, and didn’t want to get to know someone at church a few minutes here or there with everyone watching us (and everyone was definitely watching us). So, as much as I have held the same belief you do, I decided to take a chance, really with the intention of just getting over my crush, and find out who he was. Thankfully, he wasn’t JUST being nice. He was actually interested in talking to me and getting to know me and had been working up the nerve for several weeks. From the moment we started talking he showed an incredible amount of interest and has never stopped. I have never been more pursued or loved more purely and passionately, and everyday I’m grateful I took that chance. The initial disinterest was about dating and being rejected or let down again, not me personally, and the diamond ring on my finger says he’s very much interested in spending his life with me and my children. He’s my best friend and the best thing that’s ever happened to us, and thankfully my children are as obsessed with him as much as I am.

  • @Lifes_Frosting
    @Lifes_Frosting 3 роки тому +142

    I was blown away when he said he was 27 years old. Very mature for that age.

  • @yanis80
    @yanis80 2 роки тому +153

    I love these two guys...I could listen to them all day. "Music happens between the notes" was my favorite quote. The castle analogy was spot on. I'm not looking for a partner right now, just working on better myself and I realized that listening to them talk about love, relationships, etc is really enlightening and good advice to use on ANY relationship. At the end of the day the world functions because of the infinite relationships that ties every single organism in an invisible, intricate web of connections.

  • @theundone777
    @theundone777 3 роки тому +355

    I recently stopped dating a guy because we had conflicting core values (I highly value growth and new life experiences, he highly values routine, stability and security). Great guy, mature adult, but we both recognized that it we would have to compromise ourselves too greatly to have a long-term relationship. Yes, all relationships take work but I still want someone who is a proper match and who aligns reasonably enough with my values. I won’t significantly change my path for someone else, but I am willing to veer if their path is close enough to mine.

    • @mariamihova
      @mariamihova 3 роки тому +8

      yeah, absolutely right decision ;-)

    • @unlucky7s561
      @unlucky7s561 3 роки тому +11

      Typical. You are a victim of feminism and you probably don't even realize it. The ambition you have will lead to loneliness because you believe you can have it all right? Strong and independent powerful woman not willing to settle. You are such an idiot.

    • @emp9413
      @emp9413 3 роки тому +18

      @@unlucky7s561 lol and you have issues.

    • @unlucky7s561
      @unlucky7s561 3 роки тому +10

      @@emp9413 WOW! Such an insightful comment. Just because you can speak doesnt mean you should. Especially when you have nothing to say.

    • @emp9413
      @emp9413 3 роки тому +2

      @@unlucky7s561 ditto.

  • @JVanProduction
    @JVanProduction 2 роки тому +121

    31:26 Thank you for pointing that out, Matt. I was thinking this very viewpoint the other week when I tried to rationalize one of my relationships. I was still very much in love when we broke up on a whim. But then I thought about the micro moments and how alone I felt most of the time. The hormones/chemicals racing through my body told me a different story but when I felt unheard, overlooked, the small rejections-- it all added up. Constantly feeling anxiety- worry about saying the wrong thing and getting yelled at or being told my narrative. There were beautiful moments . But in the day to day life, I didn't get asked how my day was or how I was feeling. Or the decency to put down a phone and pay attention to me... even after I asked. Yawning when I was trying to talk to them. Disrespect will break down a relationship over time like water on metal-- rust will slowly appear and then erode that metal.

    • @redrumax
      @redrumax 2 роки тому +6

      so sad this happened to you.

    • @kimberlydeschamp6300
      @kimberlydeschamp6300 2 роки тому +5

      @@redrumax and to almost everyone. But amazing to recognize what's happening and to decide it's not enough.

    • @angeramirez25
      @angeramirez25 2 роки тому +7

      Wow I am glad you moved on. This was clealry abusive from his part.

    • @elizabethperlstein3229
      @elizabethperlstein3229 2 роки тому +3

      You deserve better.

    • @blessingsfromspirit6881
      @blessingsfromspirit6881 2 роки тому +11

      Ditto in my marriage…he just threw money and lifestyle at me but completely ignored me…mentally, physically and emotionally. I’m so much happier already even though I have to live on way more of a budget

  • @GadgetsGearCoffee
    @GadgetsGearCoffee 3 роки тому +362

    As a woman who dates women, Mathew hussy's content is still very relevant and helpful cuz at the end of the day it's human behavior and relating

  • @helenereeves5274
    @helenereeves5274 4 роки тому +42

    The Castle is ALWAYS the best advice to rate a potential connection by.

  • @QuickFix8
    @QuickFix8 2 роки тому +15

    In relationships, it’s like a delicate dance, just like the wrong move, you must correct and continue on, that way there is less damage control or repercussions in the end❤

  • @domesticdiva1045
    @domesticdiva1045 2 роки тому +10

    My husband chose my son over me and built an empire for him. After 38 years I’ve decided to find a new partner it won’t be easy I’ll be 65 on September 11 but I’m not invisible someone is teaching me that and I appreciate it.

  • @samsimpleton
    @samsimpleton 4 роки тому +143

    Matthew hussey is so sincere and sweet. I have been reading and watching his stuff for a decade now and honestly, have found his advice to be the most useful. Thanks for this video! Love 💓

    • @awatifana7154
      @awatifana7154 3 роки тому +1

      Are you in a relationship?

    • @samsimpleton
      @samsimpleton 3 роки тому

      Awatif Ana I’m not anymore :)

    • @Ok-kh5qq
      @Ok-kh5qq 3 роки тому +3

      If you been watching it for a decade did it work yet? 😅

    • @samsimpleton
      @samsimpleton 3 роки тому +15

      @@Ok-kh5qq thats pretty funny haha, yeah his advice kinda made me not accept less than what i deserve and i didnt settle for the last guy so im waiting for the right one. its about learning to value yourself! :)

    • @gesund_mit_chris_IG
      @gesund_mit_chris_IG 3 роки тому +3

      @@samsimpleton Good point, thanks for sharing👌

  • @kittykaburu8620
    @kittykaburu8620 3 роки тому +16

    Oh my gosh...my heart when he says " its the trashcan that determines the relationship..." that is how I think!!! Choose happiness in the little moments!

  • @LMDinNC
    @LMDinNC 3 роки тому +10

    This guy is successful because he’s great at coming up with analogies. Anyone can have a great time at Disney World - but the themed trash cans throughout the park make it truly great. You fall in love with Space Mountain (thrill ride) but it’s the trash cans (attention to detail) that make you truly happy.

  • @SunshineSurfsup1
    @SunshineSurfsup1 3 роки тому +14

    This is the best dating advice: it’s the little special things that are big (eg Disney’s detailed trash cans, not the rides) and the couple needs to be mutually builders of its ‘castle’ (the home of the relationship)

  • @annamiller2964
    @annamiller2964 2 роки тому +5

    "How good is it day to day?" This is so useful to ask ourselves when in a relationship.

  • @nidzaboricua3294
    @nidzaboricua3294 3 роки тому +41

    Why did I guess that once he said perfect relationship everyone would only concentrate on that. He doesn't mean relationships are perfect, he means the prefect one for you! Someone who works hard at the relationship and wants to grow together. Cuz, let's face it, we have a very hard time finding one person who it works with.

    • @carrielegg5480
      @carrielegg5480 3 роки тому +1

      Yes!! Women get locked in on words! This statement has helped me so much. Your actions speak so loud that I can't hear a word you say !

    • @emp9413
      @emp9413 3 роки тому

      Lol thank you. Geeez ppl are sensitive...

    • @emp9413
      @emp9413 3 роки тому

      @@nidzaboricua3294 huh? I was saying ppl sure are sensitive about using the word perfect. I was thanking u for clarifying.

    • @nidzaboricua3294
      @nidzaboricua3294 3 роки тому

      @@emp9413 oooohhh sorry about that

  • @womanofwisdom6795
    @womanofwisdom6795 3 роки тому +45

    The more i listen to this man Mathew Hussey, the more i find him more attractive not just by his looks but he's substance 💕
    🇵🇭

    • @DianaGarcia-lb9dl
      @DianaGarcia-lb9dl 3 роки тому +3

      I used to listen to him but honestly I find Stephan Labossiere so much better..check him out..Lewis interviews him too.

    • @gesund_mit_chris_IG
      @gesund_mit_chris_IG 3 роки тому +1

      Love his content as well!

  • @hotmessmomtv4117
    @hotmessmomtv4117 3 роки тому +20

    You nailed it about how we need space to even decide if there's potential. 😂 So true- I never noticed that before 🤔

    • @gikancimafranca6736
      @gikancimafranca6736 3 роки тому

      Iioòooioilkkkooolkikkikkiokoookikkokkkkkiokkikkookkkķkokkkkkkllllķkkkkllkkkkkļķkkkklkkķkkķkķkkkkkòķkļkkklkkkkkkkkkkklkkkkķkkkkklkkkķkoķkkkkkkkkkkļkkkķkkkkkkkklkkokklkokkkkkkokìkklkokkkokokķkkkkollkkokkokkkokkkkkkkkikkokkkiokookoikòkkkkkkkkkkkikkkolkkoikkoiikokjkkkķkkkkkikkkilkioookikkoiikikoookkokkkkkjkkkkikkkkkikkkkķkkķkiilķkkkoiiikikkkkkikkikjkkkìoķkkkìjkķiikjioiiooikokkiioiiiiikkikkkkkikoiiìokkkliiiookkikkkìiikkikkioikkkoikiiiiokkkkkkkkoiokiiiikkokķkkkìikkkkkkkķkkkoikķkkkkikkikkìkķkķkķikkkkkkkkkkkkkkikkkikkkķkķkķkkkķkkķķkkķikkkkkkkkkkkkkķķkkķkķķkķkķìkķkķkķkķkkķķķķķkķkķķkkķkkķķķkkķkkukkkkkķkkkkkkklķkkkkkkkkkķkkkikkkkjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkķkkkķokkķkkkkķkkkķķkkkukkkkkkkkkkkķkikkjokkkkkokkkkikió9kķkkkkķy

  • @Chichirivichi
    @Chichirivichi 3 роки тому +19

    You work so well together. Thanks Lewis and Matthew. You always give highly valuable information.

  • @angelical1234
    @angelical1234 3 роки тому +41

    Yup. Right now I’m grieving getting to the 4th stage and realizing compatibility is not there as much as it seemed to be and decided to let it go as much as stage 1, 2 and 3 were ON POINT !!! So painful.

    • @nancycrockett4276
      @nancycrockett4276 Рік тому +1

      After almost 4 yrs online and having lots of separations and getting back together etc.. he started asking too many personal questions like wanting my SS# to help me with home improvements and my Bank # for his Insurance so he could help me money wise etc. He was in the army deployed in Afghanistan and we chatted as often as possible phone chats too and planned to meet this Summer but too many little things gnawed in that gut feeling you get somethings not right...Told him long ago you have to have all your Covid shots or it's a no go! He refused so I called our local Army Reserve and yes all Soldiers must have them...That did it! 3 weeks and my ❤is healing slowly...Being a Widow of 19 yrs I'm set in my ways and I know like my sweet Dad used to say "If it sounds too good to be true it probably is! And no I never gave him any money either! Sorry so long but feel better writing all this anyway🙏⚘

  • @biggim3265
    @biggim3265 3 роки тому +95

    I happen to believe that the perfect relationship can only be found with you and yourself and even that takes daily effort........but Matthew and you are two lovely people that make this world a happier place for so many. Thank you ! xx

  • @belindaroulston152
    @belindaroulston152 3 роки тому +12

    Liking a man and building a connection is wonderful. I have been chatting with a guy for two months, and we have so much in common and have build an amazing connection already. Due to COVID we have not been able to spend time together but we are very excited about the potential. He has invested time in communicating every day from day one, and the this is not how I expected to build a connection with someone. The qualities this guy has shown me is amazing, and we have had some moments when things were said that caused tension as well but we sorted that out. Never before have I met someone that I have found communicated the way I do.
    I am excited to see this grow, and develop into more. The important thing is to not lose myself, and invest everything. I have been there, and done that and I will never do that again. We both relate to each other so well and it feels great. Matthew you are awesome and you have helped me so much.
    I love everything about this guy, and he has amazing qualities, het gets overwhelmed with me expressing my self because that’s who I am. How do I not over express my feelings to extent I put him on a pedestal but still be able to express my feelings for a man.

    • @christineyeshu4927
      @christineyeshu4927 2 роки тому +1

      dear friends its very healthy to be with someone but dont rush coz you wont enjoy it . all the same it is soo sweet when you get your angle or your devil live with them provided they wont heart you. remember even a devil can turn one day to be an angle while the can also turn to a devil enjoy every sweet bit and when it turns sour dont hold it release to the world he or she may be an angle to someone

  • @christinamckinney2370
    @christinamckinney2370 3 роки тому +11

    How has he not found it? He’s adorable!!🥰

  • @monosicos18
    @monosicos18 3 роки тому +13

    I love Lewis making notes :)) Keep talking guys! It gives me hope for some better days to come in relationship department.

  • @guitarsz
    @guitarsz 4 роки тому +29

    I started listening to Matt when he first started showing up online. He’s really full of great observations. All his work has certainly built up a wealth of knowledge. This was a Great conversation.

  • @happyas8
    @happyas8 2 роки тому +3

    I spent 4-5 months chatting with a guy at work every time he come in. Done what I could for him, sent him off with a smile on his face every time I seen him. I dropped hints I liked him,flirted with him etc etc. I seen him write his number down on a form for drivers we had them fill out every day, so I slyly wrote his number down for future reference lol. 3 weeks after I left that job I finally got the courage up to send him a text to say Hi. He thought it was excellent I made the first move to contact him, as he had no idea what happened to me or how to contact me. STEP UP LADIES and make the first move on who and what you want, if you dont someone else will.

  • @YuyiLeal
    @YuyiLeal 3 роки тому +51

    "Being a genuine team" ...I love that...ah, such a crucial aspect in a good relationship...

  • @xd-yf5gq
    @xd-yf5gq 3 роки тому +26

    I think this interview is great. It unearthed a lot of unique insights that I don't usually hear about. Although Lewis asked really good questions, I think perhaps he could let Matthew elaborate on what he want to say rather than cutting him off abruptly and going off on a tangent right then and there. Maybe Matthew's elaboration could open up to more interesting questions insights. In terms of tangents, I think it could explored later in the interview, perhaps writing a note about it and then going back into it after Matthew has fully elaborated on it or in the later parts of the interview. I think this would make the interview really awesome overall. But I overall I still did enjoy the interview, and thank you for asking really good questions.

  • @katdavenport6698
    @katdavenport6698 2 роки тому +5

    This was so helpful. I wanted to understand and relate to some of these things and concepts but had nothing to draw from. I do now. Thank you so so much.

  • @djhitmakerbeats758
    @djhitmakerbeats758 3 роки тому +8

    "Being a genuine team" ...I love that.

  • @user-il4ej3lx3r
    @user-il4ej3lx3r 3 роки тому +8

    Spot on guys! Such a great breakdown on this whole topic. And Lewis also always does the perfect job on questioning exactly what we're all thinking haha coupled with the perfect answers!

    • @christineyeshu4927
      @christineyeshu4927 2 роки тому +1

      one thing i have learnt about men is they get attracted every moment they meet an attractive girl so at some point they must break your heart and they thing that you dont have the same feeling as a woman

  • @veronicap3514
    @veronicap3514 4 роки тому +9

    Needed to hear this right now! Great discussions.

  • @lourdesdigal2174
    @lourdesdigal2174 2 роки тому +7

    I just really salute you both ..Creativity and Caring in relationship work

  • @jimlyon7276
    @jimlyon7276 3 роки тому +21

    @ 16:55 - 19:00 - This part is REALLY great ! It's so seldom do people talk about the difficulty between transitioning back & forth between our THALAMUS ( the seat of our emotions [ original lower part of our brain ] ) & our CORTEX. The problems are not only are they on different levels but if you get too emotional it can overload your cortex so you can't use it! But even if you are calm it takes time to transition to your cortex - known as applying a CORTICAL PAUSE. Sometimes the transition comes so easily that you're not even aware of it, other times you have to take a little time to apply it "consciously". With awareness & practice it comes more easily.
    But then this is yet another thing we are not taught when we are much younger so I guess it's hardly surprising there are so many people wandering around on this planet who don't have a clue as to how to even start using their cortex !

  • @renchemarais8419
    @renchemarais8419 4 роки тому +3

    TRUE When surfing I was drawn in by a currant, I stayed calm and that current took me back safely to shore!

  • @AngelaSmith-di2uw
    @AngelaSmith-di2uw Рік тому +4

    I've Been in Peace In Christ 7 Years. My, Emotions are not very strong as They used to be. Where The Purity and Clarity is Definitely My Mechanism for a Great Hearted Soul Sister Truly 🙌 😇 Blessed 🙏 Amen

  • @jellybaby822
    @jellybaby822 3 роки тому +8

    I know this is about 5 years old and Matthew Hussey is young and full of beans but he has got incredible insight for a young man, unique and sweet what a lovely guy, both of you such sweet amazing guys ❤️

  • @abeautifulcountry9353
    @abeautifulcountry9353 2 роки тому +34

    Please...Nothing makes a guy addicted to you. Nothing you wear, say, do or how you behave can make him fall for you. It is either there or not.

  • @joycebrower8822
    @joycebrower8822 3 роки тому +14

    Love. Love, Love this video! So insightful, helpful, and enlightening!
    Lewis Howes and Matthew Hussey together are a breath of fresh air!

  • @julalainelagat8939
    @julalainelagat8939 3 роки тому +46

    Self development is really our responsibility before our partner helps us.

  • @belledever1472
    @belledever1472 3 роки тому +8

    No one says trust your instinct. People say trust your intuition and it is true. Instinct and intuition are not the same thing at all !!

  • @MyLove-uj8zi
    @MyLove-uj8zi 2 роки тому +4

    My husband was on his last day at alpha beta, grocery store, gathering phone numbers of the girls. I refused then my little cousin gave it to him. He never called the other girls. We have been married since 1977.

  • @carollynch4653
    @carollynch4653 3 роки тому +4

    I used to get so jealous of people’s highlight reels, but now I see it as they might be thinking “Well I’ve been through a lot of crap this week but here’s a happy snap to remind myself it’s all worth it!”

  • @mousumichowdhury8135
    @mousumichowdhury8135 2 роки тому +2

    I really enjoyed and appreciate both of your explanations based on your experiences and valid thoughts about life, love and relationships. It'll really be beneficial for many of us.
    Thank you so much for your kind efforts.
    Love and respects from India

  • @NataliyaDuSoleil
    @NataliyaDuSoleil 3 роки тому +32

    Great interviews! Thank you, Lewis and Matthew! Love your interviews! Learned a lot! God bless you for your hard and deep work!

  • @LibyHRodriguesFreedom78
    @LibyHRodriguesFreedom78 3 роки тому +3

    i love the castle building analogy and the drop the handkerchief hack, thanks!

  • @christianehauptdo.7417
    @christianehauptdo.7417 4 роки тому +3

    Thanks, Matt & Lewis. Needed just this = best off 😌 all Videos, danke!!

  • @tashaonasiqueira7006
    @tashaonasiqueira7006 2 роки тому +6

    I only just started listening to you and I’m sure you already know why haha … but I love your story about the two builders …I feel so much more optimistic already … there is a lot to still learn but well … when better than now … better late than never 🥰

  • @melled8422
    @melled8422 Рік тому +1

    Lots of great, invaluable information Matthew! You have much wisdom for a man of 27 years.
    I dare to disagree on one point. In this video, you gave us ladies advice that trusting our instincts might not always be a good thing. I think your concept is correct. I would rephrase to say "don't trust your insecurities". Instincts are apart from our insecurities. I learned that from someone and it stuck with me.
    I once didn't trust my instincts and decided to be insecure regarding my own intuition, this led me to latch on to an abusive relationship, to which I am now free from, and all the more wise when it comes to instincts 🎉

  • @user-wj2zv1vd8y
    @user-wj2zv1vd8y Рік тому +1

    The Castle analogy reminds me of the song "Being in Love" from the old Broadway muscial The Music Man where the character Marian the Librarian sings about wanting a man "who is more interested in Us, than he is interested in me." It's her anthem about learning the difference between fairy tale love vs. a real life committment.

  • @yvonneskeet3471
    @yvonneskeet3471 2 роки тому

    Cant wait till you do it , your advice is incredibly insigtful based on the feedback from us who have done it , what you may underestimate is the damage done to people , and the massive complications from that damage interpersonal from one damaged person to another , it gets very hard as time goes by.

  • @LonjeMarie7
    @LonjeMarie7 3 роки тому +3

    I have learned so much educated myself this video is perfect ! I like the castle analogy it’s really something to think about often times women we just don’t know any better so we end up being taken advantage of and in fantasyland this video helps us not to be that way.

  • @missmarley1990
    @missmarley1990 3 роки тому +4

    The castle and trash can analogies! 🤯 wow! Loved this thanks

  • @claudiafegari5116
    @claudiafegari5116 2 роки тому

    What a delightful conversation between 2 friends that brought tons of great info!
    Many statements here, took my breath away, literally.
    12 years old, the sensitivity and his ability of observation it is really special! The trashcan analogy is pure gold!

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  2 роки тому

      So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
      podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499

  • @claudiapurcell8687
    @claudiapurcell8687 Рік тому +2

    OMG!!!! 🤔🤔🤔
    That's brilliant...
    The difference between "being in love and being happy...."
    You can be in love and be unhappy...😔

  • @ruthfanfan961
    @ruthfanfan961 3 роки тому +4

    I actually enjoyed this more than I thought I would

  • @Lee-qm3on
    @Lee-qm3on 4 роки тому +91

    I wouldn’t necessary say finding the “perfect” relationship but a “compatible” one :) but I know what you meant Lewis :)

    • @GadgetsGearCoffee
      @GadgetsGearCoffee 3 роки тому +4

      Perfect for you *

    • @GeekMODE_
      @GeekMODE_ 3 роки тому

      I was just about to say that. Perfect for you.

    • @SpirituallyNixawake
      @SpirituallyNixawake 3 роки тому

      Thank you I always enjoy listening to your points.
      Ps I'm single 😄👌🤗

    • @shawntan2485
      @shawntan2485 3 роки тому

      @@GadgetsGearCoffee 22222222222222

    • @shawntan2485
      @shawntan2485 3 роки тому

      @@GadgetsGearCoffee 2

  • @steweythecatdog
    @steweythecatdog 3 роки тому

    Wow Lewis, You knocked it out of the park again....thank you so much 😊❤❤❤👍

  • @beingintrinsic
    @beingintrinsic 2 роки тому +3

    Loved the section on discernment between Love and Desire and how it is cultivated... (and the antithesis mentioned many times which is boredom) Love to introduce Ecstasy which is the dance between both Love and Desire. It can be cultivated and is also discovered in an innate state of deep presence (intrinsic and extrinsic.) Hello, infinite attraction - thanks to curiosity. Curiosity can be circumstantial as in using distance, to create desire but also can be created deliberately no matter the circumstance, asserting that you don't know your partner and then delight in discovering them. Also known as the Art of the Question that leads to the Art of the Meow-time that follows :D

  • @mariamihova
    @mariamihova 3 роки тому +5

    Pure wisdom :-) Thank you both :-) I follow you for years and can say this video is one of the best ever :-)

  • @lindafuentes1962
    @lindafuentes1962 2 роки тому +2

    Your analogy of the castle was absolutely beautiful !!!!

  • @nimoakanji4500
    @nimoakanji4500 3 роки тому +1

    I love the concept of the castle, building together. That's very true.

  • @marijosetapia
    @marijosetapia 3 роки тому +3

    This was great. Thank you!

  • @alinatanase4104
    @alinatanase4104 3 роки тому +26

    Such a healing conversation! Thank you so much!

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  3 роки тому +10

      Appreciate you for listening! 🙏

  • @kazdolphin1933
    @kazdolphin1933 2 роки тому +2

    Absolutely what i needed to hear and learn. I’ve been in such a rut. Thankyou

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  2 роки тому +1

      You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡

  • @amritawhitman8112
    @amritawhitman8112 3 роки тому +14

    This was truly an excellent and very interesting compilation of excerpts from your conversations with Matthew! Thanks so much for putting it together!

  • @TheNinnyfee
    @TheNinnyfee 3 роки тому +10

    I love your starting questions, Lewis! They're so open and honest.
    It makes me so sad that Matthew got mauled by high-school girls because there were so many kind others just waiting for him. I was one of those shy awkward girls, I always watched these guys getting mauled because they went for the game-players.

    • @judygale2137
      @judygale2137 2 роки тому +2

      I focused on friendship and Became a buddy. It certainly
      Paid off in later years!

  • @eliana-limonisjustsaying..3398
    @eliana-limonisjustsaying..3398 2 роки тому +1

    Lewis, I love your videos not just because the people you interview are great people with great insight into their fields, but your questions are always so neat!! congrats on your fantastic job.

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  2 роки тому

      So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to subscribe and leave me a review here:
      podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id596047499

  • @dear.mibebe
    @dear.mibebe 3 роки тому +13

    I love this intelligent man!!

  • @nazasha5584
    @nazasha5584 2 роки тому

    Your gifted for all your doing and working to serve us all millions of beings.
    Yes i feel couple of times watching you and listening am.back.i need to learn.
    Spirit choose you to serve me to thanks for the knowledge.

  • @evalutz222
    @evalutz222 2 роки тому +3

    What an interesting video. So much Information! Was a pleasure to watch! Thank you for making it 🙏

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  2 роки тому +1

      You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡

  • @guitarsz
    @guitarsz 4 роки тому +27

    My favorite part of this conversation begins after Lewis asks Matt why he thinks that people bail on relationships more than ever. What Matt has to say about love and desire is very astute. Everything he says after that is golden.

    • @ShawnaMarieQueenBee
      @ShawnaMarieQueenBee 2 роки тому +6

      Where is that time wise in this video?

    • @demetricchapman460
      @demetricchapman460 Рік тому

      @@ShawnaMarieQueenBee a little past midway

    • @demetricchapman460
      @demetricchapman460 Рік тому

      @@ShawnaMarieQueenBee he pretty much said there has to be desire
      Desire is there in the very beginning bc there was space As the relationship progresses, create space to maintain desire

  • @maximvinogradov4576
    @maximvinogradov4576 3 роки тому +1

    Great interview and Great listening abilities from the interviewer.

  • @Arzucowell
    @Arzucowell 3 роки тому +52

    We need to stop this rat race, work less leave more, have funn, be more in nature, find who we really are, have time for anything we want to have time, introduce quality...

  • @aparnabhatia5072
    @aparnabhatia5072 Рік тому

    Thanks to u and Hussey for sharing valuable information! Trash cans was a first one for me! I was thinking 💭 somebody has to pick up the stinky trash. Respect for them!

  • @lufunorembuluwani8556
    @lufunorembuluwani8556 3 роки тому +1

    This is the best advice that I’ve ever heard

  • @notmyrealpseudonym6702
    @notmyrealpseudonym6702 3 роки тому

    2 lovely blokes talking shit for 90 minutes ... I'm in.
    Thank you both for the window to the conversation

  • @ntese22
    @ntese22 2 роки тому

    Lewis you did a great job of as an interviewer in reading your guest and just letting the guest go on and on and keeping a neutral response (especially during the trash cans part).

  • @Fishingirlbb61
    @Fishingirlbb61 2 роки тому

    Thank you Matt for making this crystal clear with the castle analology. I needed to hear this.

  • @Amy_Stanmore
    @Amy_Stanmore 3 роки тому +1

    I’m glad I found him like over 7 yrs ago. It helped and he is correct on some things, I remember when he said watch out, what I tell you is dangerous Use what I say on good terms, or evil or something like that Haha I would love to see him in Australia. I learned to say hello to everyone or ask what time is it, directions somewhere, ask for their help or their opinion, show interest ask questions so many times someone has said why don’t you google it. I say I like asking people I learn more, I would never do long distance unless someone can move ASAP.

  • @vilindaveronica5703
    @vilindaveronica5703 Рік тому +2

    Rejection for a woman is close to impossible to recover from. Smile and look friendly if you are interested in a guy. If he approaches, great, if not, you still have your heart intact.

  • @esmeevans1423
    @esmeevans1423 2 роки тому +2

    It is the quality of time that you spend with someone rather than the quantity of time. This also applies to raising children.

  • @aparnabhatia5072
    @aparnabhatia5072 Рік тому +1

    Lewis u have a nice smile ☺. You're face is glowing with energy all the time. You're so bubbly when you talk. Thanks!

  • @angelicamiller3980
    @angelicamiller3980 2 роки тому

    Thanks for this. So much of It resonated with the most important relations I've had in my life.

    • @lewishowes
      @lewishowes  2 роки тому

      You're welcome,thank you for being here 🧡

  • @sandra123marar
    @sandra123marar 3 роки тому +1

    I couldnt gage long distance my overthinking sabatoged it. This was incredible 👏

  • @nmjr547
    @nmjr547 2 роки тому +1

    I actually think it's fun to approach a guy I find interesting every now and then. I think it's refreshing, it feels natural, and I mean, who cares about etiquette? I think it's better to just go with your gut and have fun. As long as you're being yourself, it's okay.

  • @karistarling5482
    @karistarling5482 3 роки тому +1

    Fantastic perspective!

  • @paulasmagicland
    @paulasmagicland 2 роки тому

    Live this one! Matthew is the best on these subjects! 👌💗 And the castle-thing very good! Super clear and helpful! 😉💕🌿

  • @claudinedaley4415
    @claudinedaley4415 Рік тому +1

    My take is, why commit before u find out if u are compatible. Suppose after commiting, you find out you are not compatible. That can be VERY painful

  • @manjunath5430
    @manjunath5430 4 роки тому +23

    “A relationship is a variable reality. It is not an absolute reality. In trying to punish somebody, you would only punish yourself,”. “Every person who gets a little romantic believes that this is going to be an absolute relationship, there is no such thing about it.

  • @serox7451
    @serox7451 2 роки тому +1

    Omg 😱 i needed this 3 years ago thank you for every word

  • @samanthabaer1751
    @samanthabaer1751 2 роки тому

    I give them a big warm smile , and they usually come over

  • @keiheaherakiwi1611
    @keiheaherakiwi1611 2 роки тому +2

    I think you have to be open to learning each other….have no expectations or if you have, don’t hide them, share it with your partner so they understand you. Communication us a must….

  • @FoxcHoney
    @FoxcHoney 2 роки тому +2

    🎶🥰Beautifully put, Lewis.😊🎶

  • @vanessasheri9317
    @vanessasheri9317 4 роки тому +16

    Love this compilation ❤️ Lewis, thank you for this, and for Matthews book! It has helped me so much with a few relationships of mine over these past few months 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @aselat.8987
    @aselat.8987 3 роки тому

    Thanks for this episode and would just like to say that you (Lewis and Matthew) both look so handsome 😊❤️

  • @Hotgal22
    @Hotgal22 3 роки тому

    I tried this psychology of favor with men .. some guys were helpful but it dint move forward so not sure altho learned a lot from you always

  • @genjarus2782
    @genjarus2782 2 роки тому

    I love it, I love that mindset honest, open.