Same. I still don't agree with harming a body that works (I'm SERIOUSLY physically disabled) but hearing these stories makes me... more ok with it? I can hate the idea and still respect the person and knowing the why helps me do that.
Jamie, my son came out to me last month. He will start testosterone next month. I am so thankful for people like yourself who are willing to put your story out there. Thank you for the work you are doing. It is invaluable.
Thank you for doing your research and trying your best to support your son. Whether he shows it or not he will greatly appreciate it, a lot of people wish for parents like that too so thank you for being that person :)
You helped me realize that I was trans and that it's okay to be trans about a year ago at like 3am and I remember being so scared but your videos have helped me through it and now I'm nearly 5 months on T
Benjamin Lemay THATS SO CUTTEEEEEE. I LOVE how his vids helped u that wayyyy. I read your comment by mistake XD, and im genuinely happy for u, altho i dunno who u are XD. But yeah, quite heartwarming :3
I'm not trans, I am happy with my assigned gender but I support everyone in the LGBTQ+ community and your videos help educate me on transgender people and thank you :)
I’m non binary and my first reaction was “S*IT! THIS ISNT RIGHT.” Because I am unlucky and have transphobic parents and I was grew up thinking the whole LGBTQ community is wrong due to my parents view
i learned i was genderfluid recently and it has been hard for me as well, seeing as my entire family hates the entire community, let alone enby people and a lot of my friends don't believe in nb people either. i'm trying my best to accept myself but it's been hard when i know i can probably never be open about my gender and will be perceived as a girl for the rest of my life.
Same here, I'm non-binary too and I have a pretty relatable story. Unfortunately, I've dysphoria, and sometimes (even bc of their bigotry) I think I'm not an enbie person, that I'm just a fraud and that I'm only pretending that I'm non-binary so I can pick on my parents. It's awful
*+Dewey Decimal* Hey, no problem man! A lot of people don't think to add captions, and some people even make them rude and add unnecessary things, so it's important for clear captions take care ❤❤
When I hit puberty I waited for my voice to change and was so surprised that I grew breasts. I was so disappointed somehow. But I was prepared for my period somehow... Only now that I am 19 I have time to reflect on my life and realise who I am. It's scary but also very exciting. I want to transition but I don't want to regret it and- .... well the brain is powerful... And I also look at a lot of UA-cam videos and your videos particularly make me feel 'homesick' for my real me. At first it was intimidating because you are already past the awkward pre-t turnip but it is also very calming ??
Sonja Gottschalk I thought I could choose. I even dreamed about it once. I'm really scared to come out to my family. My friends are totally okay with it, but I don't think my mum will like it...
honestly same??? i thought my voice would deepen and i’d get hair and all the things boys did but i did think i’d also get a chest, even if i wasn’t wanting one
I remember just being scared and upset. Thinking it was wrong but so was the male puberty the boys were experiencing, and I thought everyone hated puberty and only tolerated it because it meant growing up and becoming an adult. I knew on some vague level that trans people existed but... I didn't know that gender isn't strictly binary, and I knew I wasn't a boy so what was happening to me had to just be autistic sensory issues or normal developmental shit or resulting from trauma and not wanting to have an adult body yet because I hadn't gotten much time to be a kid yet, and I didn't think there was anything I could ask for besides less girly looking training bras and discreet containers for my pads, nor did I think anyone would believe me anyway. Even if I'd had more information or we'd learned anything about trans and non binary people in my crappy Catholic school sex ed/puberty ed, I don't think I'd have said anything. Nobody would have believed me. Going to The Gender Clinic was a threat levied for wearing boys' clothes anywhere besides to my all boys middle school (long fucking story involving typical govt incompetence WRT publicly funded schools and special ed), and if I'd wanted to go it would not have gone well for me.
that's so relatable! when i came out to my parents as ace they said "we'll let you be asexual if you want" and that's why i'll probably never come out to them as gender non-comforming (i'm not exactly sure what my gender identity is at the moment)
Three years ago. I had just come to terms with being transgender. I was 13. I spent an entire night watching all your videos. I slept through my alarm and missed the bus for school the next day. But at least I knew that I would be okay.
I found out when i was 16 or 17; i never truly loved my body; I didnt like the way it looked. At first i thought i was just being insecure but after running into a bunch of lgbtq+ accts on social media talking about trans ppl i discovered i was trans; and alot of other reasons backs up why i believe I'm trans. Next year i should be able to be myself; as of now school and my home wouldnt accept it if i tried to be me(҂-̀_-́)
I have the same problems with school and my parents but sadly I can't live alone after my last year of school because I don't have the money , we are a rather poor family so I need to find an apprenticeship and somehow survive these 3 years and them I'm good to go ;_; Good luck to youuu
I think I at least knew I wasn't a stereotypical girl when I never wanted to be seen as one and I preferred to be seen as a guy. I looked up transgender occasionally but never really thought about gender because I was so concerned with being lesbian as the time in a Catholic household. Loads later I met a trans-woman and we dated for a bit. I learned more about trans and was like hmm sounds kinda like me. I thought about it more, went on T, and all is well. I do identity as agender though because I don't feel like either gender but I want to be seen at least as male in society.
For me, being gay helped me realise I was trans. As puberty came in, I realised I wanted to things to guys that girls shouldn't do/can't do. Both in a sexual and romantic way.
You were my light bulb moment. I was 13 and very troubled, when I somehow stumbled upon your pre-t/post-t comparison picture. When I saw that it was possible, I knew that was what I needed to do. Thank you for sharing your journey!
SO RELATABLE!!!! I was a huge tomboy growing up and everybody said I would grow out of it, I was like um no I wanna be a boy. Then like you said puberty hit and it was horrible trying to be girly but it never felt right. Lightbulb moment was with your video to BuzzFeed and I've never looked back. Thank you Jamie for your videos ☺ you've helped me reopen my eyes to what I always knew I was and help my family understand 💛
'horrible trying to be girly' - So many people have non gender typical tendencies, like being a 'tom boy', but dont decide it means they should live as the opposite sex though. What made you think you had to live as a male rather than living as a 'different' kind of female? (this is a genuine question btw, just trying to understand why people come to the conclusions they do).
Sarah Bearheart each individual is different I can't speak for all who don't decide to live the gender they are born in. In my case family and culture have/ had the expectation that when you reach puberty and all the changes with it your to outgrow the tomboy phase and be feminine there is/ was no in between. I chose the change to be comfortable and confident in my own skin. I've tried to be a 'different kind of female ' but when you don't like having a chest or other female attributes that doesn't help and your basically fighting a battle with yourself.
@@bearheart2009 I never liked being female, and I never liked acting female, in fear of being mistakened as a female. I also felt more comfortable acting masculine. When I came out on the social media that I use (my parents dont know about it) people kept saying that I was "just a confused tomboy" and it hurt me a lot. I'm 100 percent sure that I'm a male
@@TheHimothy1 Is that from a process of reasoning; is it that you just reject the girl thing and whats associated with it so male feels like the only other option? like, there's a difference between not liking being female, or being _seen_ to be female, and wanting to be, or wanting to be seen as, male. Do you see what i mean? I've noticed so many trans people, when they describe their experience as a child, say that their initial problem was with their own sex -- a rejection of the body or with how they were viewed/treated as that sex. Andthen it seems like a reasoning process takes place with some people like, if they dont feel comfortable as one sex they must be the other, or being percieved as the other will solve it. Transition clearly helps many people to some degree, but i wonder how much culture is making people feel like they have to physically transition to function as a social person.
@@bearheart2009 This isnt the only reason I'm trans, its just one of the many things that I feel uncomfortable about. I hate she/her pronouns and feel comfortable with he/him and they/them pronouns (I'm a demiboy). I hate my body and everything about it, too. Imagine waking up every day with a penis and a flat chest. You wouldn't like it, just like I dont like waking up every day to breasts, and a ton of other things that I really dont wanna list
Yess this is very similar to my experience. I'd also watched a documentary and kinda felt a click (less so than yours) and turned to the internet to learn about it but I was like "hahaha I'M not trans, I'm just trying to get educated about trans things" but then I watched FTM transition videos and one of the guys said something about people commenting and wishing they were trans and he told everyone not to because it's hard and you either are or are not and it hit me so hard because I was like "crap I'm actually trans!!"
I've always known I was trans-masculine since I was very small. I've fought with my mom my whole life about not adhering to the gender I was born as. never wanting feminine clothing, makeup, long hair, and I had to to wait until senior year in high school to dress and look how I want. that was back in 2012, but in 2015 I finally affirmed I was trans to myself and started researching what to do to transition. 2017 was the year I started taking testosterone and I've been on it almost one whole year, and this year I get top surgery. I'm so ready to take the next step.
I don’t exactly know when exactly the thoughts started or when i started feeling uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I used to wear dresses and I’d like it! And that’s part of the reason why I thought I wasn’t. But then as soon as I realized I was trans, i changed a bit. I couldn’t wear dresses and show my chest, without hating it. And then I tried on guys clothes for the first time and put my hair up and loved it. Anyways sorry for the rant but I love you Jamie! And you all are amazing and worth it!
I keep trying to convince my mom to buy me boys clothes cuz girl clothes especially tight clothes make rlly uncomfortable but she probably doesnt realize that it hurts like hell being called a girl. I once wore boy shorts and even that made me rlly happy. Im still very young and I might just be "faking" it. But it still hurts not meeting people's expectations of being what they want you to be. Im srry if i wasted your time i just wanted to say this
I have a similar experience. As a kid I really didn't care what I wore. I just liked looking pretty. It was around 4th grade that it really sunk in that I was a girl. Before that I avoided thinking about my body because I would always feel like "somethings wrong" or "this isn't my body". I always loved wearing dresses and feminine things. But when people started associating it with me being a girl I hated it. I also felt it wasn't "trans" enough because I was more feminine. But when I got my hair cut really short for the first time, it felt right. I felt more like myself. I started wearing more male clothes and I was so much more comfortable looking at my body. I'm not out yet because my parents are transphobic, but they just think I'm a tomboy. So thats fine for now. Sorry that was long I just wanted to share this.
All so relatable! When one evening I found out transguys existed through a buzzfeed video (lol), it immediatly clicked and I watched ftm vids till 6 am crying my eyes out. Tomorrow 5 months on T yeahhh
Sam van der Zeijden ..u r really lucky..i know i m trans but i cant tell anybody . I also want to start T But i cant even tell anyone what i am . Well i ll wish u all the best for ur life . Stay happy
Rocky Roy Thank you! And yes I know I'm very privileged to have started testosterone. I know how terrible the longggg waiting is and the fear of coming out. And how hopeless you can feel. It's all super hard, but one day you will get there, hang in there! Wishing you a bright future
When I grew up, I kind of always thought of me as a girl as far as I can remember, but also liked typical boy's things and stuff. When I was 13, I watched this documentary about a young boy who happened to be trans and since then I kind of questioned my gender. I think, I'm trans (I'm 15 and a half now) but I keep thinking that I am only feeling like this because I watched the video. The stupid thing is too, that I just can't remember what I felt exactly and it's scaring me. I know, everybody always says that yoy have time to figure this kind of stuff out, but I'm just really angry with myself because it's confusing and I want to know who the fu** I am. I don't expect anyone to respond to this but if you want to, feel free.
nima You could be a tomboy. If you're okay with your genitals and your other sex characteristics and have no wish to change them to men's characteristics, you're probably a tomboy. I'm a trans man who likes wearing makeup and heels, and until I realized I was trans I did everything in my power to avoid them, so I get the "not clicking with what I stereotypically should like" thing. (I realized a while ago looking back at my childhood that I rejected femininity as a whole because I didn't want to be associated with girlhood. Now I am very picky with my fashion and the men's style isn't the best, so I go for the feminine styles which are actually more androgynous than anything lol. I don't do drag though - I don't like that much exaggeration haha. Wow this was a tangent)
Finally someone like me! I really understand you, but I do remember that when I played "family" with my friends when I was like 9-13 years old, I always played the boy and I liked it a lot more than playing a girl. Ive never identified myself as a girl in these games. I felt more comfortable being the boy in the game. But then idk everything just disappeared and I never thought about my gender identity. But last year November I was reading some Fanfictions about a homosexual couple. And then it hit me like a truck and I was like "I want to be a boy, I know that." so I cut my hair and I felt super super confident, but then later I got confused again and I thought "what if this is wrong?" "what if it's only a phase?" and I'm still not sure about my gender identity... And I hate that it takes sooooo much time to figure it out... I don't want to wait anymore...
Gosh... I've never seen something that represents that much how I feel. I always was a girl in my mind when I was younger, and I think I just didn't wonder, I was just ME. When I was 13 (just like you) I discovered that a singer in a band I loved was trans (mtf), and I started to question myself. I realised that if I had the possibility, I would have prefered to be born male. And you know, there are just all these little things that you realise that you stopped doing when you were younger, without understanding why, because you were told GIRLS couldn't do that and it felt so UNRIGHT. And for a year now, I'm living with pretty strong dysphoria, because realising I might be transgender made me realised how different I was from other boys (puberty also really isn't helping...). And I think that the only reason I haven't transitionned yet (I'm 15 too) is because first, I love men, so that would make me gay, and even if I know there are gay trans men, it just sounds weird to me. I know I might be wrong in this feeling, but... still makes me doubt. Also, it's just that feeling I have of NOT being male. Like, I feel like I'm not male enough to be trans. And that's weird, 'cause there is nothing I want more in life than being a man, but when I look around me, I don't want to be THAT kind of man. And all of this just f*cks up with my mind and it deprives me of sleep, and gosh I just want someone to go and tell me "yes you are trans" or "no it's just your mind messing with you". But even then, I know it wouldn't stop me from thinking "And if this person is wrong?". Duh, I would give anything to just KNOW... So yeah man, I know what you're going through
Hi. I'm Tyler, and I just realized that I am trans FTM this past week. Yes, I am definitely a baby trans, and I'm doing the youtube thing. Anyway, I figured it out kind of... Messily. When I was a little kid I called myself a tomboy and liked to wear "boys clothes" but then as I got a little bit older, I started going more towards girl and started saying... I'm a girly girl now. But the thing was that my parents didn't have any money, and they were donate fly stressed and I made it my thin to make them happy. So at some point (I'm not exactly sure when) my parents had been super happy with me as a girl or had reacted badly to me acting like a boy, and I really didn't want them to stress a more about anything. I wanted to make them happy, so I started acting like a girl. This started at a relatively young age (around 6-10) and so if was hard for me to even pinpoint what happened. Then when I was in eighth grade, I realized "OMG I like girls not boys!" (And I realized this after seeing a quiz online and then researching the whole night before just brine shocked. So it was like an aha moment, but it happened over a whole day.) so I was super exited and I admitted it to my mom before the weekend was up, because I was so exited that everything about never liking boys or understanding what the big buzz was about girls being boy crazy finally made sence. So I told my mom, and she didn't believe me. She thought I was wrong, she thought it was a phase, and I had rushed in so fast out of excitement that I hadn't even considered her possibly reacting badly. So I shut that away for a while. She said she didn't want me watching youtube vids about lgbt stuff until she had the chance to do her own research and understand. She basically told me to stop being gay until she felt like being educated. Anyway, I did push it away and forget about it, and the. About a month later, I was sitting in my last class, looked at the girl beside me, stared at her for a few seconds without thinking, and then looked away quickly thinking "oh god oh god oh god I'm so gay and I have a Crush on her and it's been building since I met her at the beginning of the year oh god!" So I looked into it and came out to my mom again later to a similar reaction, but she was unable to change my mind this time. I told my dad too, fond out my neighbor was pansexual, Yada Yada Yada. So while researching about this stuff I found the term transgender. And I went, wait wait wait... That makes sense. I hope I'm trans, because that just sounds so happy to be a boy. Nope, nevermind. I've always been fine wearing dresses to church and stuff, so definitely not. Okay, so I had this term, but I was ignoring it on purpose through all of my research on lgbt. Eventually, I forced myself to the conclusion that I must be Genderfluid. That only lasted so long until I realized how happy I was as a boy and how "ugh, not this again!" I was about being a girl. Basically I said that every time I woke up without dysphoria plaguing me early in the morning, I labeled myself as such and dressed that way. I started noticing how ugly I felt I was in dresses and things and how much I disliked them, and how much I hated my suprano voice despite loving to sing. I slowly came to the conclusion that I must really just be a boy. And that is how I realized that I am trans. My very long explanation. I'm very sorry, I didn't mean for it to be this long, I just got carried away. Oops.
I didn't really feel super dysphoric during puberty because all my life I was told I was too young to do things to the point where I couldn't enjoy anything because I felt 'too young'. When I started going through puberty I was happy because I felt like I would finally be taken seriously.
That was my experience too. I thought everyone hated puberty and hated losing the inherent androgyny of childhood, and just put up with no longer being able to pass as the opposite gender when they wanted to and switch gender presentation from day to day, to get to that more grown up age with more privileges and adults listening to you that tiny bit more.
I was much like you, at a young age i was a tomboy. It wasn't until the dreaded puberty hit that I knew things were not going as planned. I was 13 and made a comment to my friends that if they ever saw someone walking down the street that looked like me, but was a boy, it was me. Now, all this was long before the internet and trans people were never talked about. It wasn't until after the internet came about and I had gone to the local PRIDE days in the city I lived in with some gay friends, that I found out that transgender is real and a possibility. I dove into research and eventually came out to my brothers and friends, but it wasn't until I was 33 years old that I came out to my parents. I'm very lucky to have a very supportive family. Even now, after coming out to the aunts, uncles and cousins at the age of 46, am I finally getting the chance to see the right doctors to start T and move forward with transitioning. By the way, the majority of the time, even after I knew I was trans, I lived as female, only in the last year did i start living as male and using my correct pronouns. I want to thank you so much for all these videos that you have done. They're really helping see that transitioning is real and possible for me too.
Holy shit, this is literally the same as my story! :O The only different thing is that I was searching on the Internet late at night when I was 14, and I was like "I wonder if anyone feels like me?" and that night literally changed my life (thanks Yahoo Answers)!
i just cut off all my hair yesterday. i'm usually really bad with change and have bad reactions to it, but just a wave of ease and confidence and contentment washed over me as she buzzed all that disgusting hair off. i feel so free. i've known i've been trans for a while, and felt self-conscious about not being able to pass. but now i can visually and now i can finally feel like my authentic self. it was your videos that helped me confront that and help me feel like it wasn't the end of the world. thank you.
I know it's been a while but you be willing to speak more about this? I debated for months whether to cut my hair but I hated it so much I finally did and now I'm obsessed with my reflection but I'm not sure whether I just want to LOOK boyish or BE a boy.
@@ZimLikesPastaAnimation Replying to your comment to help bump these replies to the top. Personally, I've been testing the "lens" I see myself with. I'll look in the mirror and say "I'm a masculine woman" and see how that feels. Then look and say "I'm a boy" and see how that feels. Still no conclusive results yet lol
@@OfficiallySarabi Maybe you have some safe friends that you could ask to help you try how presenting as male would feel? Male pronouns, male name etc. Social transition is totally reversible anyway, if you don't like it you can always go back.
Dang that part about puberty and being uncomfortable - so relatable! My first thought when my body was changing was "oh no, I'm not going to be able to present androgynously anymore!". Also felt so wrong being titled as "girl". Years went by when I was thinking I was just a "weird gal" who... doesn't identify as a woman until I learnt the word "nonbinary" and I felt "yes, that's me!". I was 21 or 22 realizing this so... yeah I wished I knew that part about myself sooner.
Sounds familiar. I knew I wasn't a girl since forever. I must have heard about trans people in primary school or something, and I always though that I must be that but I wasn't sure I wanted to transition. Then I found about non binary when I was around 20 and that just clicked.
i am still questioning my gender and i feel like i might be at least man-aligned nonbinary person or something like that (definitely not a cis girl) but my dad made me realize that i wore dresses as a child and liked it and had long hair and liked pink and all the "girly" stuff so when i hear all the transgender people say they felt that way since they remember i don't feel valid. i feel like i only imagine being trans-in-some-way because i have found these people on the internet and my best friend is trans and it's like i'm trying to fit some trend or something. sorry for spamming the already boring and cringy UA-cam Comment Section™ but i felt like i needed to rant for a bit
I want to say this. Long hair, dresses abd girly clothes are not inherently feminine. As small kids we don't know any better and these things dont have the same meaning to us as they have now. So if you liked it when you were little doesn't have to mean much today.
I'm 25 and I had never ever questioned my gender identity until this year. I'ma cis woman, but I'm not sure anymore. Not sure if I'm non-binary, trans, or maybe just a lesbian who wants to be more masculine? Or maybe I'm bi? I have no clue and it's all very anxiety-provoking.
I genuinely do not remember how I found out I was non-binary. But petition to get that Jamie and that guy form the documentary to meet and make a video
I’m 15 and have been watching ftm UA-cam videos after starting to realize that my discomfort for being called a girl or being expected to do simple “girl things” might be more than being a tomboy. I have always felt repulsed at the idea of painting my nails or wearing dresses or makeup ever since I was really young. I keep my hair short because I like how I look less girly and like wearing oversized hoodies so people don’t assume my gender because I don’t like being called a girl. Every time someone says my name the back of my head is telling me that it’s not me. I’ve been thinking a lot about this but it has only been a month or so since ive been questioning and am realizing I’ve always had chest dysphoria. I keep convincing myself it’s a phase and can’t quite get myself to admit that I’m not a girl, even though I feel so much more comfortable not being seen as one. 15 is still pretty young to be going through this and I hope I don’t always feel this state of confusion and denial.
For me it was so weird... I always was scared that I was wrong, my best friend and mi boyfriend are trans, and I always understood them better than other people. Then I started to freak out when I realised that I didn't feel female sometimes... it took me so long to get it, some days I would were make up, and heels, and feel awsome when someone would try to hit on me or something, but some days I would ignore my chest, get confuse, and don't understend why I feelt like it was so wrong when someone said to me ma'am. Today I understand that I'm gender fluid, and that's perfectly okay, but until my friend said to me that word I didn't understand at all what was going on with me, and you can't imagine how thanksfull I am now for all that he did for me.
Idk if you will see this but your videos have helped me so sooo much yesterday I came out to one of the teachers at my school and she's trying to help me get counselling so that will help without my parents knowing and I don't think I would've had the courage to come out and feel confident when doing it if it wasn't for your videos and that helps so much ❤️ I may not be out to my family yet due the fact my family is really religious but I have a goal to come out and that wouldn't be possible without your videos so thank you so so much
fairly local succyeelent enthusiast Same condition here ( in case of family ) . I really wish i could tell them but i know it will lead to destruction only . They ll get broken . I think i hav to live a life of lie like this only.
thank you jamie! this helped me to validate that i am not trans, and that this feeling is another extension of what i feel is some sort of identity OCD. i've always been anxious as a child, and after a certain traumatic event, have constantly been self-diagnosing myself with so many health conditions like tetanus, heart defects, etc. and now i know that it's branched out to me "diagnosing" my identity as well. what's convinced me is how you told me how even as a child, you felt that you were different from your AGAB, while i was myself very tomboyish and had some male-coded interests, i've never felt anything other than being a female with male interests. this questioning was a recent development in my late 20's and was very sudden and only brought upon by elliott page coming out as trans, which got my head spinning and questioning every male-coded interest i held in my childhood. i know that this is not the kind of revalation you were expecting but you've helped me figure myself out regardless. i'm very grateful.
I found out i was trans at 32 when i went to a mental health place and told them how i felt and ive felt this way my whole life and they said how long and i was like my whole life and they said thats trans i said no thats just dressing as a drag king they said no wishing you had a bottom part and wanting to be masculine and be called jesse means youre trans and i was like wow that helped me so much
Mine’s kinda embarrassing... sort of? The short version is, I was basically in bed at about midnight, reading a pastel dan, punk phil phan fiv (argh) and realised I wanted to be dan... Yeah
Not to want to invalidate you, because I'm sure how you felt this is completely different to how I feel it, but who doesn't want to be either Dan or Phil, at least sometimes?
yeah I started having similar thoughts about boys I'd see, and I'd just iamgine how cool it would be if I was them, which is why I'm questioning if I'm trans right now lol
For me, I was always identified as a boy since the age of four and I thought that was odd because I was so young. Then, I was outted as trans at 13 in High School, severely bullied so I repressed my feelings and tried so hard to convince everyone and myself I was a girl because of all the treats I was getting and the fear that "omg what if its true, what is going to happen to me?". At 18-19, my teacher in Antropology made us watch a documentary that seems to teach us trans is not real so that made everything worse. I was trying to hard to be feminine just to avoid heckling or the "genitals" question. Then at 20, my friend at the time came out as FtM, and thats when I was like "omg its real", I began to question my gender, he cut my hair really short which was a life changing moment in iteself, but when I expressed my doubts he wasn't supportive at all, therefore I began to be more self-repressed if that makes sense. It was odd, because my trauma made me feel as thought "passing as a girl" could save my life because I felt as though what happened to Brandon in Boys Dont Cry could happen to me. Finally, I came out around my 30th as ftm and it still has been very hard to accept my trans identity because of decades of being bullied, threatned and physically attacked for being trans. That's my story.
I've been questioning since the summer of 2017.. it didn't flip like a switch like Jamie, but I'm struggling between the two... I'll think about me being a man and getting married, and then as a woman and it's hard... I'll think about looking down at my fantasy girlfriend as a man as she giggles and kisses me. Then I'll sometimes think about being the woman in a sexual relationship... And the man.. sometimes I want both and don't want either. 😣😣😣
I relate a lot to this too. Its fuckin me up because on one hand I go "ah yes! im a trans guy! duh!" but on the other, im for sure a lesbian. I know Im not really a Woman or a Man, and float between them a little. A lot of times I struggle with fighting myself- the dysphoria divides me into two opposing forces of very different wishes for the future. Its confusing as hell.
You could be bigender, genderfluid, or nonbinary. I'm bigender and I feel the same way. Sometimes feel like a girl and sometimes I feel like a boy. And sometimes I like being called a girl and sometimes I hate it, and the same with being called a boy. It's really confusing lol
i relate only in the part of imagining myself as a man with my girlfriend, i cringe if i imagine myself in the future as a woman, but not knowing since i was like 4 or 5 keeps (like every other trans guy) me doubting and it’s slowly killing me...
I know this video is a couple years old, but your videos helped me understand my feelings more and realize I was trans. I watched your T videos and felt emotional the entire time. I knew immediately that it’s all I wanted. My first T shot was yesterday. You probably will never see this, but thank you.
I found out I was trans when I was watching Full Metal Alchemist (the original one). For some reason I could really relate to the main character, and then *bam* I felt male. It was a huge relief and it also felt pretty awesome.
I have no clue why, but listening to that explanation just made me want to cry, I have some tears in my eyes, way to much of that I fully relate to specially wishing I found out sooner, I spent over half my life lying to myself and have only recently accepted me as me, it is terrifying accepting myself so late in life I am glad I stopped lying to myself but man I wish I had figured that out way way way earlier.
From what I've heard from various trans people, including your story, I get more and more convinced that it would be so important to include different gender identities as a topic in school. When I first realized how many people didn't actually know that transsexuality/transgender is a thing, I was completely baffled. I remember my parents telling me about trans people and gender confirmation surgery when I was something between 7 and 10 years old. I don't remember in which context this came up, and I've always felt just right as a female, so I didn't particularly NEED this knowledge, but it just breaks my heart that some people grow up without it.
Before I came out, I was an antisocial nerd that was always reading something, (still am) and I never liked how society told me to act. I didn't like girl pronouns, I hated dresses, I didn't like being called someone's daughter, and the same way for being called a mother if I ever get kids. So a few years ago, I cut my hair really short, and I looked like a boy, I liked it a lot, but I thought doing it was wrong, and people started to make fun of me. Eventually I came out, and mom said I could start going to a gender therapist (or whatever they are called) and maybe start taking T, everything has working out well, this was so relateable,!
I know this is really late, but I just wanted to say I cried reading your comment. Everything you said is what's happening to me right now. When I panic I go to the library on campus.
I didn’t feel comfortable with my body since I was 9 and PUBERTY started but I completely forgot being trans was an option. That is until one of my friends came out as a trans girl (she might be going on hormones soon!). After that I was like oh shit yeahhhhh that’s a thing. Long story short I came out last year a month after that happened.
I think I straight up cried all night after my first time in sex ed when I was 8 and discovered all the horrible things that would be happening to me in a few years. Wish all of this stuff was around 30 years ago. but hey, it is never to late. I am starting my journey now! At 40!
Your videos have helped me a ton with self discovery, and my coming to terms that I'm trans-nonbinary. I thought I was late in the game, as I'm almost 31 and just now realizing it, but your saying there is no time frame was actually very comforting to hear. I have yet to officially come out to my parents and a few other people, so yeah. Hopefully all goes well! Fingers crossed!
Thank you so much for this video. Since my ftm son came out to me in August i've been streaming your video's , you are my favorite to watch about being transgender. Thank you and continue the great work!
jamie, you have always been an inspiration for me. i started watching before i came out, and your videos gave me the motivation to finally be my true self. now i've been out for 8 years, and i'm a bit over a year on T. im comfortable with my identity as a nonbinary person now so i thank you! (he/they)
I know im five years late to this but, it's fine. i just wanna say some things about how i am feeling right now, and how you and noahfinnce have helped me understand who i am. so back in i think 2020 i started feeling vary odd, i'd always known i never wanted to be a girl, and so i did at one point come out as non binary, but, it still wasen't me. that year i started reaserching what i was feeling, and came across you sometime this year, it finally clicked that im not non binary im not a girl, im a boy. so i dug into the trans community and found ways to help slightly, but it rarely ever does. i want to sometimes curl up and cry myself to sleep, then there are those thoughts saying "I'm not trans stop being an attention seeker" or "No one understands just be what you were born to be" and f*ck are they horid, then i understand thats anxiety and dysphoria playing their little mind games. a thing i know would most likely help my dysphoria is a binder, but my mum wont get me one, or wont let me buy one saying "It'll make the surgery more difficult for them in the future." When yes i know it can but i know how long you wear it and what to and not to do when wearing one. Why does the world hate trans so much that it puts us in the wrong body? why. Did we do somthing in the past that caused it? i have no idea why it does this to us but all i wanna say now is, thank you jammi for you are the one who has helped me you and noah have helped me through some of the toughest times of me figureing out who i am. i will always be here watching your videos cause you've done so much withour even trying! so i thank you for that! ❤
The moment the light bulb clicked was when I saw a transition video of someone on testosterone and I realised that’s what I wanted, and then I cried in the shower and denied it for a month or two
When I was a kid, information about sex and sexuality was pretty scarce. I remember trying to find information about safe sex and stumbling upon this website for ftm transitioning. I didn't fully understand what I was reading, but I made a point to save it all on a floppy disk "in case I or someone else needs it later." Years later when I felt this need to start packing, I was able to easily recall how to make a homemade packer. I'm so thankful to those brave strangers for posting that obscure website. They helped me decide as a teen that transitioning wasn't for me at the time, but gave me the tools, information, and language I so desperately needed, even if I wasn't fully aware of it when I first ran into it.
I actually already know someone who fully transitioned, but never thought it applied to me because I'm not attracted to girls. It took watching these videos to realize that attraction and gender are two separate things and explains why I can't look at my body without dissociating myself from it. It's very helpful xD
Oh Jammi. You poor dear. I grew up, I think bi, and didn't understand my feelings either. I found later (@60) I'm also autistic (yay). Congrats you figured it out earlier than a LOT of us who missed out on our own lives. xx
I was super girly growing up, always wore dresses, played with dolls, loved pink and anything related. Then, puberty hit and I cut all my hair off, sneakily bought binders offline, referred to myself with a male name, etc. It wasn't a shock to my mom when I came out after a year of acting like this, but unfortunately I was shoved back into the closet because she said I just needed to loose weight and was insecure. After 2 years of being hyper feminine and trying my hardest to sexualize my body and try to feel sexy and confident and GIRLY it just wasn't working and over time i've realized how unhappy I am. I'm 17 now, and way too nervous to try and come out a second time due to my moms previous reaction. Moreover, as I watch your videos, it makes me feel more and more confident to demand change in my house and within myself. Hopefully, I can manage to do something before I turn 18.
For most of my life, gender hasn't realy bothered me. I do remember being confused on some parts about it. I had also come to the conclusion that being a girl was better than being a boy. For a while I didn't know why I thought these things. Then puberty. I found a few tras youtubers like yourself and it just clicked.
Thank you for this video! What you said about the amount of time it takes between knowing what trans is and knowing you're trans is really interesting and has helped me out a lot. I first found out about trans guys through a phalloplasty documentary and whilst I felt hope and really intense happiness and I think I cried, I assumed I was just super happy for the guy getting it. I remember showing my girlfriend at the time like "look!! how cool is that?" and not fully registering that I wasn't just happy for him, that I was happy because I saw my own future? After that, it was probably a few months before I realised I was trans, so I've been kind of sitting around tryna figure out if I should've known the moment I saw the documentary but you've lifted a huge weight off my shoulders x
I found out about you in that buzzfeed video, and you helped me realize that I was trans. Telling my mom was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm really scared as to how my dad will respond. My mom was really supportive when she first found out, and I'm grateful for that. I think I'll show your videos to my parents one day. Thank you for making all these videos :3
I legitimately just figured this out today. I'm currently telling my story on my channel. I knew when I was very young that I just didn't match how I felt with how I look. I appreciate you sharing your story and helping me understand myself more. I'm so scared but so proud to tell my family...good luck and reach out if you want :)
I owe you so much !!!! Your videos helped me so much !! You made me realize that being trans is not wrong , and gave me courage to accept myself. I didn't know what transgender actually is and I saw your videos which gave me a huge ureka moment. I'm still in process of self acceptance and exploring and haven't came out to my folks but thank you very much for making me realize that I'm not weird or wrong.
im trans non-binary, but it took me until this year to figure it out because i am also autistic. so i spent a large portion of my life just trying to appear very feminine and fit in the box of woman as much as possible in order to fit in socially. when i met a non-binary person a year and a half ago, it did make me begin to question my gender because i resonated with it, but i was still trying to camouflage my autistic traits to fit in and the idea of not being cis was too much to think about at the time, so i ignored all my gender feelings. then i got diagnosed autistic and began being more authentic to myself. but when i began to be myself instead of camouflaging to fit in, i realized i wasnt a woman. its been a wild journey!
I'm still young, I'm 16 and just coming to terms with it. I had all those "tomboy" experiences and I'm kind of in denial about it. I'm scared that if I was, how am I going to come out again, top (and maybe bottom) surgery, the funds to do it, etc. What if I'm not? Am I being a special snowflake or a tucute? I don't understand.
Hey there! Transguy here! I was looking for a video for a friend of a friend who's brain just exploded after my friend asked if maybe they might be trans after hearing them talk about their body and such. Perfect! I especially liked the end where you talk about how there's no right or wrong way to do this. Thanks!
6:00 Yeah... i definitely found out the "wrong way" i was trans. I had just finished watching this 2 hour interview with a sex scientist talking about paraphilia's when they were saying stuff about males typically never really being able to get over any they develop. So this thing that i thought was sexual even though i knew it was more than that, and the way i hated my body had me freaking out thinking id be living with this intense dysphoria forever pushed me into doing more research and ended up stuck on Blanchard's works and studies (oh my lord am i thankful I've been set straight on that). So yeah probably the most "wrong" way to find out you're trans.
I apologize for commenting on an older video, but I just want to say how much I appreciate your channel. I'm 32 and have been 100% out as a trans woman for nearly a year, and what you described was so similar to my experience. Thank you for everything you're doing' you're so awesome!
when I was a kid, I was always considered the most 'tomboy' of my friend group and was always like "YeAh, fOr sOmE rEaSoN iT mAkEs Me rEaLlY hApPy tHaT i'M tHe mOsT tOmBoY oNe oF oUr fRiEnD gRoUp!" and looking back as a trans guy I'm just like.. "Well... yeah... but.. nah?"
I got this idea stuck on my mind that maybe I was trans and started to look for trans guys on youtube talking about their experiences while I thought how much that could apply to me. One of the first videos I watched was your timeline transition and I was like "Fuck no, I don't want to look like a guy, that's too weird to even think about", but the subject was still poking my brain and I never stopped watching videos about it. Soon enough, I did drag (king) to see how I'd look like and I absolutely fucking loved it!! So I did it again and again and again 'till I realised Johnny was not a character I wanted to play, he is me. So thank you for sharing your experiences
(ignore my username, I have yet to officially change it) I had a really weird adversion to looking like a guy for a while too, but it kept nagging at me in the back of my head, and in my dreams I was always a guy, I had a hard time seeing myself in a wedding dress and being someone's wife, it was really weird. But I was raised Roman Catholic and had the fear of God beaten into me from the moment I was born, and I leaned really, really hard into being a girl for the first 20 years of my life. I started out as non-binary around 22-23 years old, and just sort of eased into being a guy after coming to grips that non-binary didn't fit me. It wasn't until VERY recently that I realized that transgender fit me perfectly (especially after trying binding and packing), and I've never felt so human before.
I'm 23 at the moment. I came out as bisexual when I was 13, and at 15 I started learning about what it means to be transgender and gender fluid, ect. Since then I've been tossing up oh maybe I'm nonbinary, maybe I'm trans, but I've been out as nonbinary since I was 15 because I thought that fact that I liked wearing women's clothing and makeup and stuff meant that I had to be kind of a woman too. Ended up realising literally just last night that I'm actually just a feminine man, and that's ok. Which is a major mindfuck for me. Especially since I have 2 young children, and I have no idea how to explain it to them. I think im gonna stay in the closet for a bit and just really slowly start to transition for now until I can sort out where I am in my own head and then how to tell everyone else around me. Watching videos of other trans people are helping like you wouldn't believe though!! To Jamie and everyone else in the comments, I'm really glad that there's somewhere we can commune and find ourselves without judgement and fear. I love you all and I really hope that everyone is having a good day and continue to have many good days. Thank you for reading xx
You were how I knew! I was watching your videos and realized I related to your descriptions of your experiences. I was already identifying as a lesbian, so I was no stranger to the LBGTQ+ community. I started getting your videos recommended to me, and that was when I started to realize I was trans!
I dont think anyone will notice this comment but I want to say thank you for making these videos and that I think I'm a trans man but I get confused because I have never had any kind of dysphoria about my self.
Today marks my one month on testosterone! I only just figured out I was trans this past summer, at the age of 41. Your story is so similar to mine, I too didn’t have the words for what was going on. There was also a ton of denial thrown in there the last several years, but I’m happy to say I am beginning my transition and couldn’t be happier to finally have figured it out!
I just started to ball my eyes out watching this video because everything you said is so relatable with how I feel. I'm just so happy I discovered your channel because the videos you post are so helpful. Thank you! -From a paranoid trans teen
I recently came out as genderfluid, but realised that I’m transgender and would rather live life as a man. I’ve just told everyone at work and I’ve changed my name and pronouns. I should’ve known before, I’ve always went to the boys or men’s section for clothes and thought nothing of it and when video games asked for you to create a character, I would always pick Male and I always wanted to be a male. What I mean is that I wanted to be a wrestler or a football player, but I always thought about being a man doing those jobs and being female wasn’t even an option for me. However, I’ve been living in denial and I’m terrified to now say I’m transgender. I feel like I need to wait and then tell people. I’m terrified to tell people.
I know this comment is four years old but. Just want to add, I really couldn't deny it for myself when I, as a self-proclaimed feminist, got mad at fewer games forcing you to play as male and instead giving you a female option as well.
I just want to say that you DO help a lot, and I've appreciated all the types of content you and Shaaba put up. Your videos talking about your personal experience as a trans man are so relatable and fun, but also, and this is a big one, not all of them are about your trans-ness. One of the things I've struggled with being a trans guy is people thinking my whole life is just my transness. That's all I am. Yes, we're trans, but we are also partners, and professionals, or students. We're a lot of things, and it's nice seeing a trans guy living his life with his partner and their adorable kitty and sharing that with all of us. You give people insight into the complexity of your lives and that is wonderful. So thank you.
I found the thing you did with your hands at the end of your video, the pointing down at the comments, completely logical and actually kind of helpful. No need to apologize, as far as I can see.
"I will never be a male" and "I need to adapt otherwise people will point me out and people would question" are thoughts I had since I became a teenager (especially the second thought). Thank you so much for this video
Honestly, these videos on your channel really helped me understand that I was trans. Like, I had never seen a trans man before because I lived in a rural community, and I just realized I wanted to be a guy and that was ok and normal. Seriously, thank you so much.
I am so impressed with your words and insight, as a mum trying to learn, you have me so impressed and grateful for your openness, keep it up luv, you're making such an incredible impact for so many!! Thank you again!!
I just realized that im trans as of today, ive thougth about it alot and never was sure, but seeing this video was like listening to my life being told to me. Everything makes sense and Im scared, hopefull and exited! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!
i started watching trans videos on youtube when i was 11 and when i told my mom she said i wasn't allowed to watch anymore :( but it's the only i can connect with, to even feel semi-normal, so I just watch them anyway....... jamie you are a big help!
Thank you so much for this video it really helped me kind of relate a bit and see how I felt. I'm questioning if I'm a transgender boy and this video was really helpful
I was binge watching trans videos for months before breaking down while watching a 'this is home' animatic before my brain finally had that hold up moment (did the exact same thing while I was realising I was bisexual).
,,The way I felt wasn't wrong, I wasn't weird, I was trans." Wise words right here my friends...
Yes.
Off topic but your pfp looks just like my cat...
I’m cisgender but I like watching these videos, because they help me understand a lot of things I didn’t know about trans people ❤️
What's cisgender
@@wellhelltherefellwhuman4637 it's opposite to transgender. When your assigned sex/gender at birth matches your gender identity.
Thank you for educating yourself then. Wish more cis people where like you 😉😁
Yay! You’re a good human for educating yourself!!!! Much love! 💕
Same. I still don't agree with harming a body that works (I'm SERIOUSLY physically disabled) but hearing these stories makes me... more ok with it? I can hate the idea and still respect the person and knowing the why helps me do that.
Jamie, my son came out to me last month. He will start testosterone next month. I am so thankful for people like yourself who are willing to put your story out there. Thank you for the work you are doing. It is invaluable.
Thanks for being a supportive parent
Thank you for doing your research and trying your best to support your son. Whether he shows it or not he will greatly appreciate it, a lot of people wish for parents like that too so thank you for being that person :)
csoki_fanny this World needs more parents like you. I hope the very best for your son and his transition. Godspeed
You are a good example of a parent
You are an awesome parent
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You helped me realize that I was trans and that it's okay to be trans about a year ago at like 3am and I remember being so scared but your videos have helped me through it and now I'm nearly 5 months on T
Benjamin Lemay THATS SO CUTTEEEEEE. I LOVE how his vids helped u that wayyyy. I read your comment by mistake XD, and im genuinely happy for u, altho i dunno who u are XD. But yeah, quite heartwarming :3
Benjamin Lemay he helped me too
I am forever grateful. 😊
Trans UA-cam helped me realize it ( so did my trans boyfriend as well)
Thats amazing and im so proud of you!!!!!
Congrats im still trapped and my parents dont except me
Jesus Jamie how can a living man be so adorable? You're like a child of the cinnamon roll and the sunshine itself.
He does what makes him happy, so he gives off happiness.
He does give off cinnamon roll vibes
@@pandajesus5052 Nah, cinnamon has a slight bit of bitterness, and I don't think he's capable of being anything less than maximum wholesomeness.
Ryan Wagner cinnamon rolls are just warm wholesome family memories in a food
@@randomusername1593 Can't relate, my family's cinnamon rolls usually end up pretty bad.
I'm not trans, I am happy with my assigned gender but I support everyone in the LGBTQ+ community and your videos help educate me on transgender people and thank you :)
❤️
I’m non binary and my first reaction was
“S*IT! THIS ISNT RIGHT.”
Because I am unlucky and have transphobic parents and I was grew up thinking the whole LGBTQ community is wrong due to my parents view
I hope everything has worked out to you, it really sucks to have a family thst doesn't support you
i learned i was genderfluid recently and it has been hard for me as well, seeing as my entire family hates the entire community, let alone enby people and a lot of my friends don't believe in nb people either. i'm trying my best to accept myself but it's been hard when i know i can probably never be open about my gender and will be perceived as a girl for the rest of my life.
csoki_fanny yes same!!!! I am non binary too and have transphobic parents
Same here, I'm non-binary too and I have a pretty relatable story. Unfortunately, I've dysphoria, and sometimes (even bc of their bigotry) I think I'm not an enbie person, that I'm just a fraud and that I'm only pretending that I'm non-binary so I can pick on my parents. It's awful
Mory I’m like that too!!!!
Added captions to the video, for all my deaf/hard of hearing trans folk out there ❤❤❤
Pie thank you!
*+Dewey Decimal*
Hey, no problem man!
A lot of people don't think to add captions, and some people even make them rude and add unnecessary things, so it's important for clear captions
take care ❤❤
I'm not hard of hearing but thank you for adding them! I'm sure it'll help trans deaf folk :)
Thank you very much. I have ok hearing but it’s really kind of you to do this for other people
Why does it say auto-generated then?
When I hit puberty I waited for my voice to change and was so surprised that I grew breasts. I was so disappointed somehow.
But I was prepared for my period somehow...
Only now that I am 19 I have time to reflect on my life and realise who I am.
It's scary but also very exciting. I want to transition but I don't want to regret it and-
.... well the brain is powerful...
And I also look at a lot of UA-cam videos and your videos particularly make me feel 'homesick' for my real me. At first it was intimidating because you are already past the awkward pre-t turnip but it is also very calming ??
Sonja Gottschalk I thought I could choose. I even dreamed about it once. I'm really scared to come out to my family. My friends are totally okay with it, but I don't think my mum will like it...
honestly same??? i thought my voice would deepen and i’d get hair and all the things boys did but i did think i’d also get a chest, even if i wasn’t wanting one
I remember just being scared and upset. Thinking it was wrong but so was the male puberty the boys were experiencing, and I thought everyone hated puberty and only tolerated it because it meant growing up and becoming an adult. I knew on some vague level that trans people existed but... I didn't know that gender isn't strictly binary, and I knew I wasn't a boy so what was happening to me had to just be autistic sensory issues or normal developmental shit or resulting from trauma and not wanting to have an adult body yet because I hadn't gotten much time to be a kid yet, and I didn't think there was anything I could ask for besides less girly looking training bras and discreet containers for my pads, nor did I think anyone would believe me anyway.
Even if I'd had more information or we'd learned anything about trans and non binary people in my crappy Catholic school sex ed/puberty ed, I don't think I'd have said anything. Nobody would have believed me. Going to The Gender Clinic was a threat levied for wearing boys' clothes anywhere besides to my all boys middle school (long fucking story involving typical govt incompetence WRT publicly funded schools and special ed), and if I'd wanted to go it would not have gone well for me.
When I came out to my mom she asked “So...when did you *decide* you were trans?” And I just cringed so hard
@@erinsymone1645 She wasn’t telling me anything. She was asking an ignorant question.
that's so relatable! when i came out to my parents as ace they said "we'll let you be asexual if you want" and that's why i'll probably never come out to them as gender non-comforming (i'm not exactly sure what my gender identity is at the moment)
@@baqq169 I’m asexual too! I never really came out as ace, but I think my family knows because I’ve never been attracted to anyone lol
@@magicpigeon_ lol i don't think my family even knew the term asexual existed until i told them
@@baqq169 I don’t know if my family knew the term asexual but they definitely knew I wasn’t straight lol
Three years ago. I had just come to terms with being transgender. I was 13. I spent an entire night watching all your videos. I slept through my alarm and missed the bus for school the next day. But at least I knew that I would be okay.
❤❤❤Keep going!!
How are you doing now? You’re so strong!!
@@ST-K801 Im almost 3 years on t and almost a year post op. Im the happiest I've ever been.
@@Gaba800 so glad to hear that, keep looking forward! I wish someday I’ll be strong too
@@Gaba800 that’s so awesome! I feel I may be trans but I’m so scared haha, I’m 13 and low key terrified but also weirdly validated.
I found out when i was 16 or 17; i never truly loved my body; I didnt like the way it looked. At first i thought i was just being insecure but after running into a bunch of lgbtq+ accts on social media talking about trans ppl i discovered i was trans; and alot of other reasons backs up why i believe I'm trans. Next year i should be able to be myself; as of now school and my home wouldnt accept it if i tried to be me(҂-̀_-́)
I have the same problems with school and my parents but sadly I can't live alone after my last year of school because I don't have the money , we are a rather poor family so I need to find an apprenticeship and somehow survive these 3 years and them I'm good to go ;_; Good luck to youuu
Gaming Gravity omg i know this ain’t related but your Lenny face thing looks like Social Repose if you know who that is omgomgomg
I think I at least knew I wasn't a stereotypical girl when I never wanted to be seen as one and I preferred to be seen as a guy. I looked up transgender occasionally but never really thought about gender because I was so concerned with being lesbian as the time in a Catholic household. Loads later I met a trans-woman and we dated for a bit. I learned more about trans and was like hmm sounds kinda like me. I thought about it more, went on T, and all is well. I do identity as agender though because I don't feel like either gender but I want to be seen at least as male in society.
I feel the exact same way and bless you for this comment. This is just what I needed. 🙏🏾❤️
This is exactly how I feel and I'm kinda mindblown(do you say that, idk) thank you so much for your comment. It really made me realise a lot
LEGIT THIS IS ME
This is me, too!
Holy shit pretty much me just different in some aspects
For me, being gay helped me realise I was trans. As puberty came in, I realised I wanted to things to guys that girls shouldn't do/can't do. Both in a sexual and romantic way.
o man same here
what the fucj
Meeee
Dude.... I'm confused about how I feel with my gender and you just said the reason I'm doubting about it and it's mind blowing
I feel this way too! Except about doing it to girls. lol Thanks!
You were my light bulb moment. I was 13 and very troubled, when I somehow stumbled upon your pre-t/post-t comparison picture. When I saw that it was possible, I knew that was what I needed to do. Thank you for sharing your journey!
SO RELATABLE!!!! I was a huge tomboy growing up and everybody said I would grow out of it, I was like um no I wanna be a boy. Then like you said puberty hit and it was horrible trying to be girly but it never felt right. Lightbulb moment was with your video to BuzzFeed and I've never looked back. Thank you Jamie for your videos ☺ you've helped me reopen my eyes to what I always knew I was and help my family understand 💛
'horrible trying to be girly' - So many people have non gender typical tendencies, like being a 'tom boy', but dont decide it means they should live as the opposite sex though. What made you think you had to live as a male rather than living as a 'different' kind of female? (this is a genuine question btw, just trying to understand why people come to the conclusions they do).
Sarah Bearheart each individual is different I can't speak for all who don't decide to live the gender they are born in. In my case family and culture have/ had the expectation that when you reach puberty and all the changes with it your to outgrow the tomboy phase and be feminine there is/ was no in between. I chose the change to be comfortable and confident in my own skin. I've tried to be a 'different kind of female ' but when you don't like having a chest or other female attributes that doesn't help and your basically fighting a battle with yourself.
@@bearheart2009 I never liked being female, and I never liked acting female, in fear of being mistakened as a female. I also felt more comfortable acting masculine. When I came out on the social media that I use (my parents dont know about it) people kept saying that I was "just a confused tomboy" and it hurt me a lot. I'm 100 percent sure that I'm a male
@@TheHimothy1 Is that from a process of reasoning; is it that you just reject the girl thing and whats associated with it so male feels like the only other option? like, there's a difference between not liking being female, or being _seen_ to be female, and wanting to be, or wanting to be seen as, male. Do you see what i mean?
I've noticed so many trans people, when they describe their experience as a child, say that their initial problem was with their own sex -- a rejection of the body or with how they were viewed/treated as that sex. Andthen it seems like a reasoning process takes place with some people like, if they dont feel comfortable as one sex they must be the other, or being percieved as the other will solve it. Transition clearly helps many people to some degree, but i wonder how much culture is making people feel like they have to physically transition to function as a social person.
@@bearheart2009 This isnt the only reason I'm trans, its just one of the many things that I feel uncomfortable about. I hate she/her pronouns and feel comfortable with he/him and they/them pronouns (I'm a demiboy). I hate my body and everything about it, too. Imagine waking up every day with a penis and a flat chest. You wouldn't like it, just like I dont like waking up every day to breasts, and a ton of other things that I really dont wanna list
I was kinda girly as a child but the first time someone called me a "pretty young lady " i fucking freaked
M. Irrelevant omg same tho
Samee
M. Irrelevant can relate
Totally can relate to that
The first time I actually looked pretty I freaked the hell out like um no.this isn't me.
Yess this is very similar to my experience. I'd also watched a documentary and kinda felt a click (less so than yours) and turned to the internet to learn about it but I was like "hahaha I'M not trans, I'm just trying to get educated about trans things" but then I watched FTM transition videos and one of the guys said something about people commenting and wishing they were trans and he told everyone not to because it's hard and you either are or are not and it hit me so hard because I was like "crap I'm actually trans!!"
I've always known I was trans-masculine since I was very small. I've fought with my mom my whole life about not adhering to the gender I was born as. never wanting feminine clothing, makeup, long hair, and I had to to wait until senior year in high school to dress and look how I want. that was back in 2012, but in 2015 I finally affirmed I was trans to myself and started researching what to do to transition. 2017 was the year I started taking testosterone and I've been on it almost one whole year, and this year I get top surgery. I'm so ready to take the next step.
Congrats mate 👍
Today I came out to my boyfriend and yesterday to my best friend. I knew i was pansexual since I was 12 but this is totally different.
Yeah, coming out as pan is one thing but coming out as trans? Ha, I'm dying inside.
I don’t exactly know when exactly the thoughts started or when i started feeling uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong, I used to wear dresses and I’d like it! And that’s part of the reason why I thought I wasn’t. But then as soon as I realized I was trans, i changed a bit. I couldn’t wear dresses and show my chest, without hating it. And then I tried on guys clothes for the first time and put my hair up and loved it. Anyways sorry for the rant but I love you Jamie! And you all are amazing and worth it!
I keep trying to convince my mom to buy me boys clothes cuz girl clothes especially tight clothes make rlly uncomfortable but she probably doesnt realize that it hurts like hell being called a girl. I once wore boy shorts and even that made me rlly happy. Im still very young and I might just be "faking" it. But it still hurts not meeting people's expectations of being what they want you to be. Im srry if i wasted your time i just wanted to say this
I have a similar experience. As a kid I really didn't care what I wore. I just liked looking pretty. It was around 4th grade that it really sunk in that I was a girl. Before that I avoided thinking about my body because I would always feel like "somethings wrong" or "this isn't my body". I always loved wearing dresses and feminine things. But when people started associating it with me being a girl I hated it. I also felt it wasn't "trans" enough because I was more feminine. But when I got my hair cut really short for the first time, it felt right. I felt more like myself. I started wearing more male clothes and I was so much more comfortable looking at my body. I'm not out yet because my parents are transphobic, but they just think I'm a tomboy. So thats fine for now. Sorry that was long I just wanted to share this.
All so relatable! When one evening I found out transguys existed through a buzzfeed video (lol), it immediatly clicked and I watched ftm vids till 6 am crying my eyes out. Tomorrow 5 months on T yeahhh
Sam van der Zeijden Yay,that’s so great 😀☺️
Sam van der Zeijden ..u r really lucky..i know i m trans but i cant tell anybody . I also want to start T But i cant even tell anyone what i am . Well i ll wish u all the best for ur life . Stay happy
Rocky Roy Thank you! And yes I know I'm very privileged to have started testosterone. I know how terrible the longggg waiting is and the fear of coming out. And how hopeless you can feel. It's all super hard, but one day you will get there, hang in there! Wishing you a bright future
Congrats
When I grew up, I kind of always thought of me as a girl as far as I can remember, but also liked typical boy's things and stuff. When I was 13, I watched this documentary about a young boy who happened to be trans and since then I kind of questioned my gender. I think, I'm trans (I'm 15 and a half now) but I keep thinking that I am only feeling like this because I watched the video. The stupid thing is too, that I just can't remember what I felt exactly and it's scaring me. I know, everybody always says that yoy have time to figure this kind of stuff out, but I'm just really angry with myself because it's confusing and I want to know who the fu** I am. I don't expect anyone to respond to this but if you want to, feel free.
nima You could be a tomboy. If you're okay with your genitals and your other sex characteristics and have no wish to change them to men's characteristics, you're probably a tomboy. I'm a trans man who likes wearing makeup and heels, and until I realized I was trans I did everything in my power to avoid them, so I get the "not clicking with what I stereotypically should like" thing.
(I realized a while ago looking back at my childhood that I rejected femininity as a whole because I didn't want to be associated with girlhood. Now I am very picky with my fashion and the men's style isn't the best, so I go for the feminine styles which are actually more androgynous than anything lol. I don't do drag though - I don't like that much exaggeration haha. Wow this was a tangent)
Finally someone like me! I really understand you, but I do remember that when I played "family" with my friends when I was like 9-13 years old, I always played the boy and I liked it a lot more than playing a girl. Ive never identified myself as a girl in these games. I felt more comfortable being the boy in the game. But then idk everything just disappeared and I never thought about my gender identity. But last year November I was reading some Fanfictions about a homosexual couple. And then it hit me like a truck and I was like "I want to be a boy, I know that." so I cut my hair and I felt super super confident, but then later I got confused again and I thought "what if this is wrong?" "what if it's only a phase?" and I'm still not sure about my gender identity... And I hate that it takes sooooo much time to figure it out... I don't want to wait anymore...
A true trans person doent "think" theyre a boy - they know they are one, just born in the wrong body.
fckignorance same I keep doubt myself and I hate being confused I just want something that’s official and makes me happy
Gosh... I've never seen something that represents that much how I feel. I always was a girl in my mind when I was younger, and I think I just didn't wonder, I was just ME. When I was 13 (just like you) I discovered that a singer in a band I loved was trans (mtf), and I started to question myself. I realised that if I had the possibility, I would have prefered to be born male. And you know, there are just all these little things that you realise that you stopped doing when you were younger, without understanding why, because you were told GIRLS couldn't do that and it felt so UNRIGHT. And for a year now, I'm living with pretty strong dysphoria, because realising I might be transgender made me realised how different I was from other boys (puberty also really isn't helping...). And I think that the only reason I haven't transitionned yet (I'm 15 too) is because first, I love men, so that would make me gay, and even if I know there are gay trans men, it just sounds weird to me. I know I might be wrong in this feeling, but... still makes me doubt. Also, it's just that feeling I have of NOT being male. Like, I feel like I'm not male enough to be trans. And that's weird, 'cause there is nothing I want more in life than being a man, but when I look around me, I don't want to be THAT kind of man. And all of this just f*cks up with my mind and it deprives me of sleep, and gosh I just want someone to go and tell me "yes you are trans" or "no it's just your mind messing with you". But even then, I know it wouldn't stop me from thinking "And if this person is wrong?". Duh, I would give anything to just KNOW... So yeah man, I know what you're going through
Hi. I'm Tyler, and I just realized that I am trans FTM this past week. Yes, I am definitely a baby trans, and I'm doing the youtube thing. Anyway, I figured it out kind of... Messily. When I was a little kid I called myself a tomboy and liked to wear "boys clothes" but then as I got a little bit older, I started going more towards girl and started saying... I'm a girly girl now. But the thing was that my parents didn't have any money, and they were donate fly stressed and I made it my thin to make them happy. So at some point (I'm not exactly sure when) my parents had been super happy with me as a girl or had reacted badly to me acting like a boy, and I really didn't want them to stress a more about anything. I wanted to make them happy, so I started acting like a girl. This started at a relatively young age (around 6-10) and so if was hard for me to even pinpoint what happened. Then when I was in eighth grade, I realized "OMG I like girls not boys!" (And I realized this after seeing a quiz online and then researching the whole night before just brine shocked. So it was like an aha moment, but it happened over a whole day.) so I was super exited and I admitted it to my mom before the weekend was up, because I was so exited that everything about never liking boys or understanding what the big buzz was about girls being boy crazy finally made sence. So I told my mom, and she didn't believe me. She thought I was wrong, she thought it was a phase, and I had rushed in so fast out of excitement that I hadn't even considered her possibly reacting badly. So I shut that away for a while. She said she didn't want me watching youtube vids about lgbt stuff until she had the chance to do her own research and understand. She basically told me to stop being gay until she felt like being educated. Anyway, I did push it away and forget about it, and the. About a month later, I was sitting in my last class, looked at the girl beside me, stared at her for a few seconds without thinking, and then looked away quickly thinking "oh god oh god oh god I'm so gay and I have a Crush on her and it's been building since I met her at the beginning of the year oh god!" So I looked into it and came out to my mom again later to a similar reaction, but she was unable to change my mind this time. I told my dad too, fond out my neighbor was pansexual, Yada Yada Yada. So while researching about this stuff I found the term transgender. And I went, wait wait wait... That makes sense. I hope I'm trans, because that just sounds so happy to be a boy. Nope, nevermind. I've always been fine wearing dresses to church and stuff, so definitely not. Okay, so I had this term, but I was ignoring it on purpose through all of my research on lgbt. Eventually, I forced myself to the conclusion that I must be Genderfluid. That only lasted so long until I realized how happy I was as a boy and how "ugh, not this again!" I was about being a girl. Basically I said that every time I woke up without dysphoria plaguing me early in the morning, I labeled myself as such and dressed that way. I started noticing how ugly I felt I was in dresses and things and how much I disliked them, and how much I hated my suprano voice despite loving to sing. I slowly came to the conclusion that I must really just be a boy. And that is how I realized that I am trans. My very long explanation. I'm very sorry, I didn't mean for it to be this long, I just got carried away. Oops.
I didn't really feel super dysphoric during puberty because all my life I was told I was too young to do things to the point where I couldn't enjoy anything because I felt 'too young'. When I started going through puberty I was happy because I felt like I would finally be taken seriously.
That was my experience too. I thought everyone hated puberty and hated losing the inherent androgyny of childhood, and just put up with no longer being able to pass as the opposite gender when they wanted to and switch gender presentation from day to day, to get to that more grown up age with more privileges and adults listening to you that tiny bit more.
I was much like you, at a young age i was a tomboy. It wasn't until the dreaded puberty hit that I knew things were not going as planned. I was 13 and made a comment to my friends that if they ever saw someone walking down the street that looked like me, but was a boy, it was me. Now, all this was long before the internet and trans people were never talked about. It wasn't until after the internet came about and I had gone to the local PRIDE days in the city I lived in with some gay friends, that I found out that transgender is real and a possibility. I dove into research and eventually came out to my brothers and friends, but it wasn't until I was 33 years old that I came out to my parents. I'm very lucky to have a very supportive family. Even now, after coming out to the aunts, uncles and cousins at the age of 46, am I finally getting the chance to see the right doctors to start T and move forward with transitioning. By the way, the majority of the time, even after I knew I was trans, I lived as female, only in the last year did i start living as male and using my correct pronouns. I want to thank you so much for all these videos that you have done. They're really helping see that transitioning is real and possible for me too.
Holy shit, this is literally the same as my story! :O
The only different thing is that I was searching on the Internet late at night when I was 14, and I was like "I wonder if anyone feels like me?" and that night literally changed my life (thanks Yahoo Answers)!
__ I'm 14 and I have no idea what to do...
Hi Jamie! I'm coming out to my mum as ftm soon. Ilysm ♡
Jogusia TV Good luck!
Good luck! Hope it goes well :)
Jogusia TV you got this !
good luck to you!
Congrats my parents know but are not accepting
i just cut off all my hair yesterday. i'm usually really bad with change and have bad reactions to it, but just a wave of ease and confidence and contentment washed over me as she buzzed all that disgusting hair off. i feel so free. i've known i've been trans for a while, and felt self-conscious about not being able to pass. but now i can visually and now i can finally feel like my authentic self. it was your videos that helped me confront that and help me feel like it wasn't the end of the world. thank you.
I know it's been a while but you be willing to speak more about this? I debated for months whether to cut my hair but I hated it so much I finally did and now I'm obsessed with my reflection but I'm not sure whether I just want to LOOK boyish or BE a boy.
@@OfficiallySarabi I understand that completely... I would love if someone could explain that difference to me?
@@ZimLikesPastaAnimation Replying to your comment to help bump these replies to the top. Personally, I've been testing the "lens" I see myself with. I'll look in the mirror and say "I'm a masculine woman" and see how that feels. Then look and say "I'm a boy" and see how that feels. Still no conclusive results yet lol
@@OfficiallySarabi Alright, I'll start trying that!
@@OfficiallySarabi Maybe you have some safe friends that you could ask to help you try how presenting as male would feel? Male pronouns, male name etc. Social transition is totally reversible anyway, if you don't like it you can always go back.
Dang that part about puberty and being uncomfortable - so relatable! My first thought when my body was changing was "oh no, I'm not going to be able to present androgynously anymore!". Also felt so wrong being titled as "girl". Years went by when I was thinking I was just a "weird gal" who... doesn't identify as a woman until I learnt the word "nonbinary" and I felt "yes, that's me!". I was 21 or 22 realizing this so... yeah I wished I knew that part about myself sooner.
Sounds familiar. I knew I wasn't a girl since forever. I must have heard about trans people in primary school or something, and I always though that I must be that but I wasn't sure I wanted to transition. Then I found about non binary when I was around 20 and that just clicked.
i am still questioning my gender and i feel like i might be at least man-aligned nonbinary person or something like that (definitely not a cis girl) but my dad made me realize that i wore dresses as a child and liked it and had long hair and liked pink and all the "girly" stuff so when i hear all the transgender people say they felt that way since they remember i don't feel valid. i feel like i only imagine being trans-in-some-way because i have found these people on the internet and my best friend is trans and it's like i'm trying to fit some trend or something. sorry for spamming the already boring and cringy UA-cam Comment Section™ but i felt like i needed to rant for a bit
I want to say this. Long hair, dresses abd girly clothes are not inherently feminine. As small kids we don't know any better and these things dont have the same meaning to us as they have now. So if you liked it when you were little doesn't have to mean much today.
I'm 25 and I had never ever questioned my gender identity until this year. I'ma cis woman, but I'm not sure anymore. Not sure if I'm non-binary, trans, or maybe just a lesbian who wants to be more masculine? Or maybe I'm bi? I have no clue and it's all very anxiety-provoking.
Hey friend, you get anywhere with your journey? Hope you're well.
@@Loubaloo31 probably cis, sexuality still unknown lol
@@Rosalindxxxxxx Sometimes it takes a while, stay strong!
I genuinely do not remember how I found out I was non-binary. But petition to get that Jamie and that guy form the documentary to meet and make a video
I’m 15 and have been watching ftm UA-cam videos after starting to realize that my discomfort for being called a girl or being expected to do simple “girl things” might be more than being a tomboy. I have always felt repulsed at the idea of painting my nails or wearing dresses or makeup ever since I was really young. I keep my hair short because I like how I look less girly and like wearing oversized hoodies so people don’t assume my gender because I don’t like being called a girl. Every time someone says my name the back of my head is telling me that it’s not me. I’ve been thinking a lot about this but it has only been a month or so since ive been questioning and am realizing I’ve always had chest dysphoria. I keep convincing myself it’s a phase and can’t quite get myself to admit that I’m not a girl, even though I feel so much more comfortable not being seen as one. 15 is still pretty young to be going through this and I hope I don’t always feel this state of confusion and denial.
His and OneTopicAtATime’s videos are getting me through this hell
For me it was so weird... I always was scared that I was wrong, my best friend and mi boyfriend are trans, and I always understood them better than other people. Then I started to freak out when I realised that I didn't feel female sometimes... it took me so long to get it, some days I would were make up, and heels, and feel awsome when someone would try to hit on me or something, but some days I would ignore my chest, get confuse, and don't understend why I feelt like it was so wrong when someone said to me ma'am. Today I understand that I'm gender fluid, and that's perfectly okay, but until my friend said to me that word I didn't understand at all what was going on with me, and you can't imagine how thanksfull I am now for all that he did for me.
Idk if you will see this but your videos have helped me so sooo much yesterday I came out to one of the teachers at my school and she's trying to help me get counselling so that will help without my parents knowing and I don't think I would've had the courage to come out and feel confident when doing it if it wasn't for your videos and that helps so much ❤️ I may not be out to my family yet due the fact my family is really religious but I have a goal to come out and that wouldn't be possible without your videos so thank you so so much
i came out to my counselor at school too, a couple of weeks ago. she's really helping me, I hope you get the same result!
fairly local succyeelent enthusiast
Same condition here ( in case of family ) . I really wish i could tell them but i know it will lead to destruction only . They ll get broken . I think i hav to live a life of lie like this only.
thank you jamie! this helped me to validate that i am not trans, and that this feeling is another extension of what i feel is some sort of identity OCD. i've always been anxious as a child, and after a certain traumatic event, have constantly been self-diagnosing myself with so many health conditions like tetanus, heart defects, etc. and now i know that it's branched out to me "diagnosing" my identity as well. what's convinced me is how you told me how even as a child, you felt that you were different from your AGAB, while i was myself very tomboyish and had some male-coded interests, i've never felt anything other than being a female with male interests. this questioning was a recent development in my late 20's and was very sudden and only brought upon by elliott page coming out as trans, which got my head spinning and questioning every male-coded interest i held in my childhood. i know that this is not the kind of revalation you were expecting but you've helped me figure myself out regardless. i'm very grateful.
I found out i was trans at 32 when i went to a mental health place and told them how i felt and ive felt this way my whole life and they said how long and i was like my whole life and they said thats trans i said no thats just dressing as a drag king they said no wishing you had a bottom part and wanting to be masculine and be called jesse means youre trans and i was like wow that helped me so much
Mine’s kinda embarrassing... sort of?
The short version is, I was basically in bed at about midnight, reading a pastel dan, punk phil phan fiv (argh) and realised I wanted to be dan...
Yeah
Eh lol I relate, but I read Frerard fanfic :b
Not to want to invalidate you, because I'm sure how you felt this is completely different to how I feel it, but who doesn't want to be either Dan or Phil, at least sometimes?
yeah I started having similar thoughts about boys I'd see, and I'd just iamgine how cool it would be if I was them, which is why I'm questioning if I'm trans right now lol
Woah i watched D&P religiously this year. Is that a sign ??
For me, I was always identified as a boy since the age of four and I thought that was odd because I was so young. Then, I was outted as trans at 13 in High School, severely bullied so I repressed my feelings and tried so hard to convince everyone and myself I was a girl because of all the treats I was getting and the fear that "omg what if its true, what is going to happen to me?". At 18-19, my teacher in Antropology made us watch a documentary that seems to teach us trans is not real so that made everything worse. I was trying to hard to be feminine just to avoid heckling or the "genitals" question. Then at 20, my friend at the time came out as FtM, and thats when I was like "omg its real", I began to question my gender, he cut my hair really short which was a life changing moment in iteself, but when I expressed my doubts he wasn't supportive at all, therefore I began to be more self-repressed if that makes sense. It was odd, because my trauma made me feel as thought "passing as a girl" could save my life because I felt as though what happened to Brandon in Boys Dont Cry could happen to me. Finally, I came out around my 30th as ftm and it still has been very hard to accept my trans identity because of decades of being bullied, threatned and physically attacked for being trans. That's my story.
thank you so much for sharing your story
I've been questioning since the summer of 2017.. it didn't flip like a switch like Jamie, but I'm struggling between the two...
I'll think about me being a man and getting married, and then as a woman and it's hard... I'll think about looking down at my fantasy girlfriend as a man as she giggles and kisses me.
Then I'll sometimes think about being the woman in a sexual relationship... And the man.. sometimes I want both and don't want either.
😣😣😣
Du Vänner maybe you should look into nonbinary identities and see if that fits?
I have the exact goddamn problem and it's slowly fucking me up
I relate a lot to this too. Its fuckin me up because on one hand I go "ah yes! im a trans guy! duh!" but on the other, im for sure a lesbian. I know Im not really a Woman or a Man, and float between them a little. A lot of times I struggle with fighting myself- the dysphoria divides me into two opposing forces of very different wishes for the future. Its confusing as hell.
You could be bigender, genderfluid, or nonbinary. I'm bigender and I feel the same way. Sometimes feel like a girl and sometimes I feel like a boy. And sometimes I like being called a girl and sometimes I hate it, and the same with being called a boy. It's really confusing lol
i relate only in the part of imagining myself as a man with my girlfriend, i cringe if i imagine myself in the future as a woman, but not knowing since i was like 4 or 5 keeps (like every other trans guy) me doubting and it’s slowly killing me...
Late to the party here, but I wish you had mentioned the title of the documentary you watched. I'd love to check it out!
I know this video is a couple years old, but your videos helped me understand my feelings more and realize I was trans. I watched your T videos and felt emotional the entire time.
I knew immediately that it’s all I wanted.
My first T shot was yesterday.
You probably will never see this, but thank you.
I found out I was trans when I was watching Full Metal Alchemist (the original one). For some reason I could really relate to the main character, and then *bam* I felt male. It was a huge relief and it also felt pretty awesome.
Did you relate to Edward Elric because you were short?
@@nekusakura6748 Maybe? I'm not that short, though.
I have no clue why, but listening to that explanation just made me want to cry, I have some tears in my eyes, way to much of that I fully relate to specially wishing I found out sooner, I spent over half my life lying to myself and have only recently accepted me as me, it is terrifying accepting myself so late in life I am glad I stopped lying to myself but man I wish I had figured that out way way way earlier.
From what I've heard from various trans people, including your story, I get more and more convinced that it would be so important to include different gender identities as a topic in school. When I first realized how many people didn't actually know that transsexuality/transgender is a thing, I was completely baffled. I remember my parents telling me about trans people and gender confirmation surgery when I was something between 7 and 10 years old. I don't remember in which context this came up, and I've always felt just right as a female, so I didn't particularly NEED this knowledge, but it just breaks my heart that some people grow up without it.
Before I came out, I was an antisocial nerd that was always reading something, (still am) and I never liked how society told me to act. I didn't like girl pronouns, I hated dresses, I didn't like being called someone's daughter, and the same way for being called a mother if I ever get kids. So a few years ago, I cut my hair really short, and I looked like a boy, I liked it a lot, but I thought doing it was wrong, and people started to make fun of me. Eventually I came out, and mom said I could start going to a gender therapist (or whatever they are called) and maybe start taking T, everything has working out well, this was so relateable,!
I know this is really late, but I just wanted to say I cried reading your comment. Everything you said is what's happening to me right now. When I panic I go to the library on campus.
I didn’t feel comfortable with my body since I was 9 and PUBERTY started but I completely forgot being trans was an option. That is until one of my friends came out as a trans girl (she might be going on hormones soon!). After that I was like oh shit yeahhhhh that’s a thing. Long story short I came out last year a month after that happened.
Welp, now I’m completely COMPLETELY sure I’m trans. 😂
I was sure in the first place, but this seriously helped reinforce it.
I think I straight up cried all night after my first time in sex ed when I was 8 and discovered all the horrible things that would be happening to me in a few years. Wish all of this stuff was around 30 years ago. but hey, it is never to late. I am starting my journey now! At 40!
Your videos have helped me a ton with self discovery, and my coming to terms that I'm trans-nonbinary. I thought I was late in the game, as I'm almost 31 and just now realizing it, but your saying there is no time frame was actually very comforting to hear. I have yet to officially come out to my parents and a few other people, so yeah. Hopefully all goes well! Fingers crossed!
Thank you so much for this video.
Since my ftm son came out to me in August i've been streaming your video's , you are my favorite to watch about being transgender.
Thank you and continue the great work!
jamie, you have always been an inspiration for me. i started watching before i came out, and your videos gave me the motivation to finally be my true self. now i've been out for 8 years, and i'm a bit over a year on T. im comfortable with my identity as a nonbinary person now so i thank you! (he/they)
I know im five years late to this but, it's fine.
i just wanna say some things about how i am feeling right now, and how you and noahfinnce have helped me understand who i am.
so back in i think 2020 i started feeling vary odd, i'd always known i never wanted to be a girl, and so i did at one point come out as non binary, but, it still wasen't me.
that year i started reaserching what i was feeling, and came across you sometime this year, it finally clicked that im not non binary im not a girl, im a boy.
so i dug into the trans community and found ways to help slightly, but it rarely ever does.
i want to sometimes curl up and cry myself to sleep, then there are those thoughts saying "I'm not trans stop being an attention seeker" or "No one understands just be what you were born to be"
and f*ck are they horid, then i understand thats anxiety and dysphoria playing their little mind games.
a thing i know would most likely help my dysphoria is a binder, but my mum wont get me one, or wont let me buy one saying "It'll make the surgery more difficult for them in the future." When yes i know it can but i know how long you wear it and what to and not to do when wearing one.
Why does the world hate trans so much that it puts us in the wrong body?
why.
Did we do somthing in the past that caused it?
i have no idea why it does this to us but all i wanna say now is, thank you jammi for you are the one who has helped me you and noah have helped me through some of the toughest times of me figureing out who i am.
i will always be here watching your videos cause you've done so much withour even trying! so i thank you for that! ❤
The moment the light bulb clicked was when I saw a transition video of someone on testosterone and I realised that’s what I wanted, and then I cried in the shower and denied it for a month or two
You are responsible for me discovering myself, gave me the language I needed and have helped me alot.
I just go an advert which was lil nas x saying to respect ppls pronouns, best ad ever. (Btw I’m proud of u for coming out)
When I was a kid, information about sex and sexuality was pretty scarce. I remember trying to find information about safe sex and stumbling upon this website for ftm transitioning. I didn't fully understand what I was reading, but I made a point to save it all on a floppy disk "in case I or someone else needs it later."
Years later when I felt this need to start packing, I was able to easily recall how to make a homemade packer.
I'm so thankful to those brave strangers for posting that obscure website. They helped me decide as a teen that transitioning wasn't for me at the time, but gave me the tools, information, and language I so desperately needed, even if I wasn't fully aware of it when I first ran into it.
I actually already know someone who fully transitioned, but never thought it applied to me because I'm not attracted to girls. It took watching these videos to realize that attraction and gender are two separate things and explains why I can't look at my body without dissociating myself from it. It's very helpful xD
Oh Jammi. You poor dear. I grew up, I think bi, and didn't understand my feelings either. I found later (@60) I'm also autistic (yay). Congrats you figured it out earlier than a LOT of us who missed out on our own lives. xx
I was super girly growing up, always wore dresses, played with dolls, loved pink and anything related. Then, puberty hit and I cut all my hair off, sneakily bought binders offline, referred to myself with a male name, etc. It wasn't a shock to my mom when I came out after a year of acting like this, but unfortunately I was shoved back into the closet because she said I just needed to loose weight and was insecure. After 2 years of being hyper feminine and trying my hardest to sexualize my body and try to feel sexy and confident and GIRLY it just wasn't working and over time i've realized how unhappy I am. I'm 17 now, and way too nervous to try and come out a second time due to my moms previous reaction. Moreover, as I watch your videos, it makes me feel more and more confident to demand change in my house and within myself. Hopefully, I can manage to do something before I turn 18.
I found out pretty much the same way. But with coming across a trans video on UA-cam
Hey, Jamie!
I just wanted ou to know that your videos gave me that “lightbulb moment.”
Thank you for posting these! You’re amazing.
For most of my life, gender hasn't realy bothered me. I do remember being confused on some parts about it. I had also come to the conclusion that being a girl was better than being a boy. For a while I didn't know why I thought these things. Then puberty. I found a few tras youtubers like yourself and it just clicked.
Thank you for this video! What you said about the amount of time it takes between knowing what trans is and knowing you're trans is really interesting and has helped me out a lot. I first found out about trans guys through a phalloplasty documentary and whilst I felt hope and really intense happiness and I think I cried, I assumed I was just super happy for the guy getting it. I remember showing my girlfriend at the time like "look!! how cool is that?" and not fully registering that I wasn't just happy for him, that I was happy because I saw my own future? After that, it was probably a few months before I realised I was trans, so I've been kind of sitting around tryna figure out if I should've known the moment I saw the documentary but you've lifted a huge weight off my shoulders x
I found out about you in that buzzfeed video, and you helped me realize that I was trans. Telling my mom was the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm really scared as to how my dad will respond. My mom was really supportive when she first found out, and I'm grateful for that. I think I'll show your videos to my parents one day. Thank you for making all these videos :3
I legitimately just figured this out today. I'm currently telling my story on my channel. I knew when I was very young that I just didn't match how I felt with how I look. I appreciate you sharing your story and helping me understand myself more. I'm so scared but so proud to tell my family...good luck and reach out if you want :)
I owe you so much !!!! Your videos helped me so much !! You made me realize that being trans is not wrong , and gave me courage to accept myself. I didn't know what transgender actually is and I saw your videos which gave me a huge ureka moment. I'm still in process of self acceptance and exploring and haven't came out to my folks but thank you very much for making me realize that I'm not weird or wrong.
im trans non-binary, but it took me until this year to figure it out because i am also autistic. so i spent a large portion of my life just trying to appear very feminine and fit in the box of woman as much as possible in order to fit in socially. when i met a non-binary person a year and a half ago, it did make me begin to question my gender because i resonated with it, but i was still trying to camouflage my autistic traits to fit in and the idea of not being cis was too much to think about at the time, so i ignored all my gender feelings. then i got diagnosed autistic and began being more authentic to myself. but when i began to be myself instead of camouflaging to fit in, i realized i wasnt a woman. its been a wild journey!
I'm still young, I'm 16 and just coming to terms with it. I had all those "tomboy" experiences and I'm kind of in denial about it. I'm scared that if I was, how am I going to come out again, top (and maybe bottom) surgery, the funds to do it, etc. What if I'm not? Am I being a special snowflake or a tucute? I don't understand.
Hey there! Transguy here! I was looking for a video for a friend of a friend who's brain just exploded after my friend asked if maybe they might be trans after hearing them talk about their body and such. Perfect! I especially liked the end where you talk about how there's no right or wrong way to do this. Thanks!
6:00 Yeah... i definitely found out the "wrong way" i was trans. I had just finished watching this 2 hour interview with a sex scientist talking about paraphilia's when they were saying stuff about males typically never really being able to get over any they develop.
So this thing that i thought was sexual even though i knew it was more than that, and the way i hated my body had me freaking out thinking id be living with this intense dysphoria forever pushed me into doing more research and ended up stuck on Blanchard's works and studies (oh my lord am i thankful I've been set straight on that).
So yeah probably the most "wrong" way to find out you're trans.
I apologize for commenting on an older video, but I just want to say how much I appreciate your channel. I'm 32 and have been 100% out as a trans woman for nearly a year, and what you described was so similar to my experience. Thank you for everything you're doing' you're so awesome!
when I was a kid, I was always considered the most 'tomboy' of my friend group and was always like "YeAh, fOr sOmE rEaSoN iT mAkEs Me rEaLlY hApPy tHaT i'M tHe mOsT tOmBoY oNe oF oUr fRiEnD gRoUp!" and looking back as a trans guy I'm just like.. "Well... yeah... but.. nah?"
I got this idea stuck on my mind that maybe I was trans and started to look for trans guys on youtube talking about their experiences while I thought how much that could apply to me. One of the first videos I watched was your timeline transition and I was like "Fuck no, I don't want to look like a guy, that's too weird to even think about", but the subject was still poking my brain and I never stopped watching videos about it. Soon enough, I did drag (king) to see how I'd look like and I absolutely fucking loved it!! So I did it again and again and again 'till I realised Johnny was not a character I wanted to play, he is me. So thank you for sharing your experiences
(ignore my username, I have yet to officially change it) I had a really weird adversion to looking like a guy for a while too, but it kept nagging at me in the back of my head, and in my dreams I was always a guy, I had a hard time seeing myself in a wedding dress and being someone's wife, it was really weird. But I was raised Roman Catholic and had the fear of God beaten into me from the moment I was born, and I leaned really, really hard into being a girl for the first 20 years of my life. I started out as non-binary around 22-23 years old, and just sort of eased into being a guy after coming to grips that non-binary didn't fit me. It wasn't until VERY recently that I realized that transgender fit me perfectly (especially after trying binding and packing), and I've never felt so human before.
I'm 23 at the moment. I came out as bisexual when I was 13, and at 15 I started learning about what it means to be transgender and gender fluid, ect. Since then I've been tossing up oh maybe I'm nonbinary, maybe I'm trans, but I've been out as nonbinary since I was 15 because I thought that fact that I liked wearing women's clothing and makeup and stuff meant that I had to be kind of a woman too. Ended up realising literally just last night that I'm actually just a feminine man, and that's ok. Which is a major mindfuck for me. Especially since I have 2 young children, and I have no idea how to explain it to them. I think im gonna stay in the closet for a bit and just really slowly start to transition for now until I can sort out where I am in my own head and then how to tell everyone else around me. Watching videos of other trans people are helping like you wouldn't believe though!!
To Jamie and everyone else in the comments, I'm really glad that there's somewhere we can commune and find ourselves without judgement and fear. I love you all and I really hope that everyone is having a good day and continue to have many good days. Thank you for reading xx
You were how I knew! I was watching your videos and realized I related to your descriptions of your experiences. I was already identifying as a lesbian, so I was no stranger to the LBGTQ+ community. I started getting your videos recommended to me, and that was when I started to realize I was trans!
Thank you so much this is what I needed right now
I dont think anyone will notice this comment but I want to say thank you for making these videos and that I think I'm a trans man but I get confused because I have never had any kind of dysphoria about my self.
Puberty - not the best time. So true!
Today marks my one month on testosterone! I only just figured out I was trans this past summer, at the age of 41. Your story is so similar to mine, I too didn’t have the words for what was going on. There was also a ton of denial thrown in there the last several years, but I’m happy to say I am beginning my transition and couldn’t be happier to finally have figured it out!
I just started to ball my eyes out watching this video because everything you said is so relatable with how I feel. I'm just so happy I discovered your channel because the videos you post are so helpful. Thank you!
-From a paranoid trans teen
I recently came out as genderfluid, but realised that I’m transgender and would rather live life as a man. I’ve just told everyone at work and I’ve changed my name and pronouns. I should’ve known before, I’ve always went to the boys or men’s section for clothes and thought nothing of it and when video games asked for you to create a character, I would always pick Male and I always wanted to be a male. What I mean is that I wanted to be a wrestler or a football player, but I always thought about being a man doing those jobs and being female wasn’t even an option for me. However, I’ve been living in denial and I’m terrified to now say I’m transgender. I feel like I need to wait and then tell people. I’m terrified to tell people.
I know this comment is four years old but. Just want to add, I really couldn't deny it for myself when I, as a self-proclaimed feminist, got mad at fewer games forcing you to play as male and instead giving you a female option as well.
Amazing inspirational story Jamie :)
I wish we were taught about gender and sexuality in school, would have made so much simpler honestly
Whyyy do all trans guys look sooooo good! Watching these videos give me hope but also make me jealous
I just want to say that you DO help a lot, and I've appreciated all the types of content you and Shaaba put up. Your videos talking about your personal experience as a trans man are so relatable and fun, but also, and this is a big one, not all of them are about your trans-ness. One of the things I've struggled with being a trans guy is people thinking my whole life is just my transness. That's all I am. Yes, we're trans, but we are also partners, and professionals, or students. We're a lot of things, and it's nice seeing a trans guy living his life with his partner and their adorable kitty and sharing that with all of us.
You give people insight into the complexity of your lives and that is wonderful.
So thank you.
I found the thing you did with your hands at the end of your video, the pointing down at the comments, completely logical and actually kind of helpful. No need to apologize, as far as I can see.
"I will never be a male" and "I need to adapt otherwise people will point me out and people would question" are thoughts I had since I became a teenager (especially the second thought). Thank you so much for this video
Honestly, these videos on your channel really helped me understand that I was trans. Like, I had never seen a trans man before because I lived in a rural community, and I just realized I wanted to be a guy and that was ok and normal. Seriously, thank you so much.
It’s so nice that someone could have such similar experiences to mine, I always feel so alone but you remind me that I’m not. ❤️
i learned that i was trans when i was 4, been happy ever since!
I am so impressed with your words and insight, as a mum trying to learn, you have me so impressed and grateful for your openness, keep it up luv, you're making such an incredible impact for so many!! Thank you again!!
I just realized that im trans as of today, ive thougth about it alot and never was sure, but seeing this video was like listening to my life being told to me. Everything makes sense and Im scared, hopefull and exited! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!
i just reilized how happy i was whenever anyone called me tomboy-- i was always so incredebly happy whenever it happened
i started watching trans videos on youtube when i was 11 and when i told my mom she said i wasn't allowed to watch anymore :( but it's the only i can connect with, to even feel semi-normal, so I just watch them anyway....... jamie you are a big help!
Thank you so much for this video it really helped me kind of relate a bit and see how I felt. I'm questioning if I'm a transgender boy and this video was really helpful
I was binge watching trans videos for months before breaking down while watching a 'this is home' animatic before my brain finally had that hold up moment (did the exact same thing while I was realising I was bisexual).
I guess you helped a lot of us Jamie. Thank you, srsly!