9:44 the desire for attention from others is a very sticky thicket. I think I was blessed in many ways with the inherent tools to get others’ attention, but I also cultivated those skills or traits in order to get more attention. Ultimately though, I think the attention we want is not the attention we can earn by being flashy or helpful, but the attention that we can give to others. Attention is like the first step of love or something. And maybe that’s why feeling ignored feels like death.
This also has to do with growing up with a father on the autism spectrum. It makes me want to ask the question, “how easy do I make it on others to know me?” Do I want to be known or famliar, or do I want to be liked and admired? These can be very complex social paradoxes. Normies aren’t forthright or forthcoming enough for most people with autism. There are so many tiny social games happening all at once and very few of them have explicit rules. There’s a lot of jazz going on and some people would prefer to have sheet music.
Gonna echo what I said to Matt just now in response to his comment. I just want to point out that I know you are not your creepy avatar because of our past interactions (relation-ship which has trans-formed over time). But in the mind of many who pass by, you and I are very alien to them. It's good for me to remember this. For others, remembering this comes more naturally.
Something to also remember it is God's attention that matters most, not other people. Building trust is something that comes slowly and if it comes its a matter of what they are paying attention to not whom. "Truth stumbles in the public square" but in the end cannot go unlooked and denied for long. As for letting go of the bitterness, you covered that pretty well. Realizing that God was despised and rejected on the cross and that we share His place in rejecting just as we share His place in acceptance in the heavenly places is something to take into account. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Thanks Matt! I just want to point out that I know you are not your creepy avatar because of our past interactions (relation-ship which has trans-formed over time). But in the mind of many who pass by, you and I are very alien to them.
I don't want to be explicit because we all do the thing where we ignore some and give attention to others for all kinds of reasons. People ignore me. I ignore people. And I can make the world better by paying attention to my attention. I can practice noticing when an alluring signal captures-traps-contains my attention with the lure.
9:44 the desire for attention from others is a very sticky thicket. I think I was blessed in many ways with the inherent tools to get others’ attention, but I also cultivated those skills or traits in order to get more attention.
Ultimately though, I think the attention we want is not the attention we can earn by being flashy or helpful, but the attention that we can give to others.
Attention is like the first step of love or something. And maybe that’s why feeling ignored feels like death.
This also has to do with growing up with a father on the autism spectrum.
It makes me want to ask the question, “how easy do I make it on others to know me?” Do I want to be known or famliar, or do I want to be liked and admired?
These can be very complex social paradoxes. Normies aren’t forthright or forthcoming enough for most people with autism. There are so many tiny social games happening all at once and very few of them have explicit rules. There’s a lot of jazz going on and some people would prefer to have sheet music.
@@mcmosav I'd like to be known and liked
@@RightInChrist so far so good imo
@@mcmosav - I just keep some recordings unlisted ;)
@@RightInChrist that’s good. You can’t fart in every elevator you ride or they’ll make you take the stairs.
I love you Gavin
🤗
Gonna echo what I said to Matt just now in response to his comment.
I just want to point out that I know you are not your creepy avatar because of our past interactions (relation-ship which has trans-formed over time). But in the mind of many who pass by, you and I are very alien to them.
It's good for me to remember this. For others, remembering this comes more naturally.
Something to also remember it is God's attention that matters most, not other people. Building trust is something that comes slowly and if it comes its a matter of what they are paying attention to not whom. "Truth stumbles in the public square" but in the end cannot go unlooked and denied for long.
As for letting go of the bitterness, you covered that pretty well. Realizing that God was despised and rejected on the cross and that we share His place in rejecting just as we share His place in acceptance in the heavenly places is something to take into account.
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Thanks Matt! I just want to point out that I know you are not your creepy avatar because of our past interactions (relation-ship which has trans-formed over time). But in the mind of many who pass by, you and I are very alien to them.
lol =)@@RightInChrist
@9:10 these other people, like Mr. Beast? Elon? Attention economy monsters?
I don't want to be explicit because we all do the thing where we ignore some and give attention to others for all kinds of reasons. People ignore me. I ignore people. And I can make the world better by paying attention to my attention. I can practice noticing when an alluring signal captures-traps-contains my attention with the lure.