I CHANGED MY LIFE USING THE FLYLADY SYSTEM - How to Start Today!
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- Опубліковано 5 чер 2024
- In 3 years, my life has made a complete 180. From a maxed out, stressed, new mom... to calm, clean and in control. Here is my number one tip that will help you get started today, no matter where you are at!
** this video was pre-recorded for a conference that was cancelled
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I CHANGED MY LIFE USING THE FLYLADY SYSTEM - How to Start Today!
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So glad you found peace with the Flylady system, Steph! Well done on all your hard work - you've come a long way, baby! Give your Mum a big hug from me! 💝💝💝
Thank you Diane for your motivating posts on IG & on YT plus referring Secret Slob at just the right time.
My two favorite inspirations! Diane and Steph! 💜
@@ghg8634 I agree with you!!they are better than the ideator!!
Awy think wwreally easy
I feel like you were telling the story of my life at the beginning of the video. I started FlyLady last week and we are all so much happier already
We didn't have You Tube when I was raising my family, I wish I had had the support back then. But what I did do, during that time, was speed clean, before it was a thing lol. A LOT can be done in 5 minutes. When my daughter was a little baby, my husband would come home and one day asked me"what do you do all day?" . He said this because everything was done, dinner was cooking and I looked relaxed. He had noooooo idea what life was like during the time he was at work. So, I showed him what I did all day. I left on a day out with a friend, leaving him to take care of the home and our baby. By the time I got home, the house was a complete mess. The baby was well fed and changed, but he didn't change her clothes, so you imagine the baby food on her. I asked him" Did you make dinner? Did you do the laundry? Ironing? Cleaning? Did you vacuum and wash the floors? Take the baby outside? "etc. He said no to all of those of course. It took me 3 hours to set our home back to normal. He apologized for asking "what I did all day", and finally understood my days, every day. :) tfs Love your videos. 💐🍃🐤🌵🍀🐣🌷🌱🐇🥰🏜️💗💐🍃🐤🌵🍀🐣🌷🌱🐇🥰🏜️💗
Great story! What a lesson!
Oh, gosh! So good! 😅😅😅Once an old man told us that when the wife stayed out in hospital he discovered that " a woman is the best tool in a home"
Hi @momof2, that was fantastic! Can I ask if things changed from then on in terms of your husband sharing the housework tasks in the evenings after work and on weekends? Hope you don't mind me asking! 😃🌞💐
Imagine the wonderful lessons he'd have learned if you left for a month.
wish i had thought of that back then.
i had an appointment for 2hours once and left him with two pre-schoolers - he called his cousin to come over to help him after ten minutes alone with them!!
My Mother in law had a saying, "If you are coming to see me, come anytime. If you are coming to see my house, give me 2 weeks notice!" I love it. She raised 4 boys and her house did always look nice by the time I met her, which was when she was 80. I loved your insights! Thank you! I will use my timer, which sits here on my desk... un-used mostly. I have noticed something, which is that some people want their visible surfaces to look clean, and will stuff their drawers with everything to get there. Some people have very organized drawers, and don't mess them up clearing off visible surfaces to show it all away in their tidy drawers.
You’re right, there are different organizing styles! You may want to check out Clutterbug on UA-cam to discover which style suits you best. I’ve learned a lot of helpful tips for my style from Clutterbug.
I like your mother-in- law’s saying!
This “all or nothing” mentality was crippling me too! Your suggestions have helped me so much in the last couple weeks.. I get up early and while waiting on the Kurig to heat, I cleaned one shelf in the pantry. Next day - another... today I did the medicine and vitamin cabinet. It is done... probably 15 minutes max..
Wow well done!
Better, even clearing one drawer or counter is Better than it was before
I did the same thing...I kept thinking I needed to get into the pantry & do a big clean up & putting it off because it seemed like such a big headache. Then I realized I could just do one shelf at a time. Not very daunting.
Still have the all or nothing mental block... I need detailed to do lists, and company. I hate doing things by myself most of the time. Having trouble getting rid of stuff because most of it is my mom's, and she is in the beginning stages of dementia. I quarantine a lot of things, because I never know what will trigger a memory or a story. And I love mom's stories.
Oh my goodness YES ! I have had to drop the but it should be....attitude.
Instead, I am breaking cleaning projects into smaller sections and giving myself a break. Boy does it make me feel calmer. Thank you for posting this
I would never judge anyone for what their house looks like, yet I criticise myself harshly for everything that's not done. Your video is such a great help to shift my mindset and allow for more grace. I'll keep rewatching it when I need the reminder. Thank you!!! 💛
If you are on TikTok check out domesticblisters. She discusses care tasks as morally neutral. Doesn’t mean we are bad or good if something isn’t done.
It’s so true though, we tend to beat ourselves up. Progress not perfection. 😊
Me too! I’m actually a little relieved when I’m visiting someone (or used to before COVID...) and their house is not sparkly clean and tidy. I feel more relaxed and wouldn’t dream of judging them, so why judge myself so harshly? 😆
Exactly! Interestingly I don't see other people's mess as much as I recognise my own. Also, if I detect something, I will mention it and thanking that person to remind me that I don't have to be superhuman. I am honestly so grateful for those minor dust bunnies or whatnot, just to see that other people are also no robots. We all live, really live in our houses after all!
Fly Lady saved me when I was struggling as a stay at home mom. Now I receive compliments on how organized I am and how clean my home is (if they only knew where I was a few years ago 😄). Her holiday organizing binder is also a huge life saver. I don't stress when the holidays come around, I actually enjoy them which means my husband and kids get a fun, happy wife/mom instead of a stressed/angry mom.
So glad you found her, I hope everyone who feels lost as a homemaker/mom finds her!
Biggest obstacle is thinking things will take longer thank they do therefore “I don’t have time.” Using a timer and learning to do small increments has been life-changing!
Using a timer has absolutely changed my life
I agree. Especially one of those visual timers on amazon have helped me even more than my watch timer lol
Yes! It is so much easier when all I have to commit to is 15 minutes. Much more attainable
Housekeeping jobs never take as long as we think they do. I went through a phase last spring where I was frequently procrastinating sweeping my patio. One of those times, I talked myself into it by telling myself I'd only spend five minutes on it, and set a timer. That's when I discovered sweeping the patio takes 3 minutes. Until I timed it, I'd had no idea it was such a quick job. It always FELT like it took longer, so I I avoided it. Once I realized it was a 3 minute job, I stopped procrastinating.
I've since used that trick a lot. I estimate how long I think it will take to do something, set a timer, and work until the timer runs out or I finish the task. I've learned that forces a change in perspective, which cuts down on procrastination.
I am going to listen to this every day for the next week! Paralysed perfectionist - me! I know this about myself, yet I gobble up half the elephant every time. So, for the next week: listen to Steph, listen to Steph, listen to Steph...
Thank you for this video :) I have struggled with Flyladys system for a couple years and it seems like I can never really get past shining my sink. I was just on the verge of tears thinking that its probably too late for me to ever learn how to really MANAGE my life...but after watching your video...i feel like Im not alone and that progress IS posdible again!🙂💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
It's like you are talking about me, perfectionism is holding me back in different aspects of my life
I was called lazy my whole life so this really resonated with me. It's hard to overcome old labels but not impossible, even if I falter at least I'm making progress. You really hit the nail on the head saying perfectionism is paralyzing. I learned with working with high IQ children that it can be a serious problem. That's why I like the Kumon math system for kids; it teaches them to do math in little bits of time and not be afraid of mistakes but to learn from them. I'm a reading tutor so I always send my students to Kumon who are struggling with math and adopted the same mind set when starting reading remediation. The weight off the shoulders of these children from the shame they felt if they made a mistake was amazing. Learning to do the same for myself at this late phase of life is something I'm committed to. I grew up in an extremely organized house and I knew how to do very little which is ironic. Your youtube videos help reset my brain. Honestly, this channel is a public service!
I so needed to hear this today. My baby just turned 2 months old and I’ve been beating myself for not doing all.the.things. No more. Make a list, setting the timer, and then I’m going to play with my big kids while the baby naps instead of cleaning the whole time
I can so so relate to this 💜 take it easy on yourself mama, you are doing great!
I found the flylady system over 20 yrs ago. I implimented it into my life, homeschooled my 2 youngest, even helped homeschool my grandkids, and taught my kids the principles she taught. I just found their chore charts folders they had from childhood. It made everything managable. Not perfect just doable. Great video!
Being 44, I think I'm from a sort of mixed generation....so my mom was a stay at home mom and took care of our house, whereas me at her age had a career, was single and had no kids. My Saturdays used to be FILLED with housework because I didn't manage my time through the week. It was a huge learning curve and still is! Steph, you should be very proud of all the amazing progress you've made ❤ Thank you for sharing ❤
I am this type of perfectionist. It ruined my high school experience. If I didn’t think I could write a perfect paper I would simply not do it. This flowed into my adult life. Now, my systems are in place and I am so much healthier in my day to day management of my household.
Yes, I can relate to this! I hope teachers these days are trained to see perfectionism in their students and help them to overcome it rather than just getting sore about late assignments!!
I am also this person! During my art coursework, if I messed up one page in my portfolio book, I would throw the whole thing away and restart. My teenage school years were a disaster and because of this habit I didn’t receive the best grades, and my house is now a mess because if I don’t have a certain type of storage I need or a certain cleaner, I just don’t bother until I have everything I need.
@@jessicaevans2654 If this was one your friends you would encourage and help them. Look at yourself as that friend. Even if it’s to start with 2 or 5 minutes a day you will build that muscle and you will succeed. Just pick a corner, shelf, drawer and go from there. As the secret slob says progress not perfection. Mind yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help and support. Mary, Joes wife 👍
@@josephdaly2015 thank you Mary! Since finding the secret slob a few weeks ago I’m starting to slowly implement these habits into my daily life and trying not to be such a destructive perfectionist! I am moving home in a few days also so it will feel like a new beginning hopefully 🥰
Same!
You described me so well. Always wanting everything perfect but with chronic pain as my limiter I spent so much time being overwhelmed and feeling useless as a mother, wife and carer, causing me to feel like a complete failure and for depression to kick in and make motivation even harder to find. This has been the case for many years and this week I started watching loads of decluttering videos and finally figured out if I want the house better I need to declutter then clean because it will be much more manageable. Also after watching how much you all achieved in the 15 min challenge it helped me feel encouraged to do what I can until pain wins out then take a break and go again. This week I have gotten more rubbish thrown out and more donatables dropped off than I have in years and I actually am feeling happier, more motivated and encouraged than I have in a decade. Thank you for the part that you have played in that.
I am a perfectionist virgo raised by a perfectionist virgo. The thing that changed how my house looked was setting a timer before I started a cleaning task and realizing how much I exaggerated how long it takes to clean. When I saw that it only took 10 minutes to clean my kitchen that I thought was a "total disaster", my feelings about cleaning changed forever.
My Mom was a Virgo Psychologist, petite and adorable in her Dior & St. Laurent. Never relaxed, didn’t own a housecoat (my preferred garment, plus size). My dad left us. She spent the rest of her life planning this big Trial, where he would be called to account! Compiled “evidence” that he was Insane! I saw a comic strip: “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the Sanest of them all!”
Steph I just wanted to say: THANK YOU!
I've looked at the Flylady system for years but was to overwhelmed by it. Then I found your channel and at first I was still to overwhelmed by it. But I kept watching until one day I decided to give it a go and I'm so glad I did. Progress not perfection has become my new motto.
I was starting to write down the list of all your valuable tips when I thought, "I should have left more space on my paper here, and put this sentence on this line instead, let's do it again to make it perf.....oh nooo, on a video about overcoming perfectionism?!! It has to stop NOW!!! It is good enough as is it!
This is exactly how I feel. Exactly!! I am the same way. It’s all or nothing and unfortunately the nothing usually wins. I have great plans and ideas from watching UA-cam, but because it doesn’t work instantly I give up. Thank you for saying what I say to myself all the time for years.
Some people will have to work up to this, but will eventually get to the point where the best timer for one set of tasks is other, 'inactive' tasks.
My partner gets up very early for work, so the coffee is usually getting cold by the time I make my first trip to the kitchen in the morning. You know how long it takes to empty the dish drainer or one rack of the dishwasher? About the time it takes my coffee to warm up in the microwave.
How long does it take to do the dishes, wipe down the counters, and sweep the kitchen? About one laundry wash cycle. How long does it take to straighten up the living and dining areas, and sweep/mop/vacuum all the common room floors? About one dry cycle. In the time it takes to handle one load of laundry, I've completed all the minimum daily tasks to make my home feel comfortable and welcoming. Other rooms, dusting, decluttering, etc. get done outside of that time, but the bare bones basics are handled in the space of a load of laundry.
I am far from “being there”, but have made a lot of progress. My children are grown, but I work full time, my husband has multiple health issues and until a year ago, assisted my mom several days a week with appointments, groceries, etc. One thing I’ve learned is even if I can’t finish a task, I can begin. There are a lot of times I actually finish. Thank you for your example and encouragement!
I started with your printables back in the Fall and had one solid run through with zone cleaning in my first trimester of pregnancy. Since then I’ve been still doing my daily and weekly routines which in itself is way more than I was doing before. But now I’m 2 weeks away from my due date and my 6 yo daughter is helping me a TON because she also enjoys our home being clean and tidy. She pretends to make her own cleaning videos while she’s doing the different tasks. 😂 I am looking forward to getting better and better at keeping Zone cleaning in my routine.
Thank you so much for sharing this calm, doable approach to cleaning house. I am an older person, recently widowed. I had open heart surgery in 2017. Just after that, we discovered my husband had lung cancer. Chemo and radiation gave us 2 years before it re-emerges as brain cancer. 10 intensive radiation treatments gave us 6 more months. As his caregiver, our house began to get out of control, quickly. Or, was it that it became less of a priority. Since he passed January 28, 2021, I have struggled to regain control. My grief and lack of energy has made it hard. This sounds like a method that just might work! Thank you so much for sharing!
You are amazing! My own home and life have been improving as I've worked along side you and your amazing videos. You have really grown and matured - the level of peace and confidence you have gained shows not only in your beautiful home, but on your face and in your demeanor! Thank you for sharing your life and all your great ideas with us. When ever I need motivation, I watch one of your videos and then I'm ready to roll!
You may have just changed my life too! About 2 years ago I started having a chronic pain and fatigue condition and my usual routine of cleaning the whole house in the weekend and a once a year deep clean is not working any more as it triggers my symptoms. While I never had too much stuff/clutter, I've been really struggling to be on top of my housework plus full time job (I have no kids but do have pets that also increase cleaning needs). The flylady system is just brilliant for me as I can split the workload into small manageable tasks, but it is your delivery and explanation that made is so approachable and motivating! I've been going for only a few weeks now and my house is better than it's been in a very long time - thank you!!
How can I be 48 years old and only just realize my perfectionism is what's making me feel like a complete slob in my home? You totally described me. Thank you!
It’s okay, start where you are. Give yourself grace, as you would a friend.
Steph, one of the most concise, helpful, you can do it videos I have seen in a long time!
Totally agree. Nice job
Yes! All of her videos are so clear and simple!
I commented earlier, your future may be in motivational public speaking . Family first, then the sky is the limit
You go girl !
Great job explaining Flylady principles in a concise manner! I’ve been studying her for almost 20 years and though my house is still chaos more than I want, it is definitely better. So many times I’ve tried to explain her magic to another and just couldn’t do it. I appreciate her sharing her knowledge for free, yet find her website difficult to navigate. Thank you for all of your videos!
I’m a perfectionist too, and you wouldn’t think that from the state my house is in. But, I’m making progress and today I decluttered, vacuumed and even cleaned our entry way. One thing I actually like is that I’m able to look at my result and have a true feeling of “it looks perfect”. Even though it’s probably more accurate to say “good enough!” Maybe good enough becomes the new perfect after a while, I don’t know 🤷🏻♀️
I have learned so much since I found your channel a couple months ago. You taught me how to break my housework into manageable parts.
I have chronic pain and partial disability due to a car accident. There are some days that any movement is excruciating and even walking is a struggle. I walk with a cane most days. My home was very much a major frustration until the last couple of months because if I couldn't do it perfectly, I didn't do it at all. I've been mentally struggling because I cannot physically do what I always could before the accident- like power through housework in three hours once a week.
You taught me how I can break down my chores and areas into manageable chunks. My zones. And if I'm having a bad day, I do what I can and that's it- the rest waits for next week. If I'm having a very bad day, it doesn't get done at all and waits til next week. And that has kept it manageable for me. If it gets skipped a week, it's still manageable when I pick up my schedule again. Nothing is ever a disaster because even if it gets behind, it doesn't get too far behind.
I cannot thank you enough for sharing your journey with this. You helped me with mine like nothing else has. It has taken so much stress away, and that is such a wonderful feeling. Thank you.
I can so relate to this, that paralyzed feeling in wanting it all to be perfect is something I have struggled with too! Watching your videos through The Minimal Mom collabs has been so encouraging! I’ve been decluttering for a while, but cleaning and organizing has been on the back burner. But, you’ve really encouraged me to give the flylady system a try.
If you’re ready to start, I found Diane in Denmark’s 31 baby steps a great place to start. It changed my life. She did it in January a few years ago, one video every day. It’s on a playlist on her channel. It really sets you on track and cures perfectionism and teaches you to celebrate the small daily victories.
You are literally describing my life! A week ago I cleaned my whole house in a mad dash over the course of two days since our landlord wanted to list it and it had turned into a total disaster since having my fourth baby 3 months ago. I discovered your channel last week as well and find it so inspiring. Now I’m trying to let go of the perfectionism and just take little steps forward everyday. I have four kids six and under and life is crazy, but taking these little steps is helping to tame the chaos.
Enjoy those darling children!
Just stepping my foot into the door of decluttered spaces, a cleaner home, and overcoming the perfectionism-procrastination cycle; my home, my life, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. The struggle is real, so thank you for the encouragement and motivation!
Hello from Athens, Greece!!! I discovered your channel at the end of August and I loved the way you explained everything. Since then I have seen great progress. My house has been clean and organized quite decently. Having routines has kept me sane during multiple lockdowns (online lessons both for my son and
me -I am a primary school teacher!) You have a unique way of explaining everything in a simple yet effective way! Keep up the good work. Fun fact: I was born in Montreal and I have lived there by the age of seven! Canadians rock! You rock!
I agree perfectionism is the big problem. This is The Flylady mantra that worked for me too. Her words " pick up where you are", " it doesn't need to be perfect, it just needs to be done ".
Routines into habits is really helpful too. The Flylady has great ideas doesn't she.
Her 27 fling boogie gives me permission to cull my stuff has has helped remove the clutter and keep my house clean.
You know, before lockdown started last year, I was a total mess like the before - you. Here in india we get cheap household help. So I never had to clean or learn. Never had any desire too.
You r the ONLY UA-camr or real-life person who gave me confidence to do it myself.
I'm exactly like you. Messy n perfectionist at the same time.. On top of it I had disgust for dirty dishes. Ohh it ws so horrible.
My husband is the exact opposite. My zero cleaning skills were making us fight. Now I have a system, I even have checklists... Saved a ton of money on servants too. I'm not perfect but getting there.
Thank you!!!
Pls do put longer videos n more videos. I still need the extra motivation.
I was in the same shape at the beginning of housekeeping and did the flylady system... in the early 80’s. So hine your kitchen sink I think was the first thing she had you do. I still use those principles. Yes! Perfectionism is an all or nothing proposition. I think the saying from my well meaning parents “do it well or not at all” was a failing proposition for me. I have had to learn to spot clean as well as handle todo list items now when they are easy and little compared to when they get out of control. I’m glad you posted this video for the young people to see your smiling face and homemaking testimony.
For a working outside the home, sixty something person, the "five minutes at a time" tip is so great!!! Good tips and video!
You’ve been my motivation to just do my routines & now 2 yrs flying with your guidance I am healthier, happier & enjoying my home as it can be without striving for the “perfect”.
👍🐾🐾
This is soooo me! I thought I was alone... thank you for sharing.. I have really struggled with this for years❣️but... I do this. I do a project and then do another. My problem is that it feels like someone comes from behind and messes it up again in 4 weeks. I follow the rules but my family fails. I have asked, explained begged commanded, prayed for solution. Been bed ridden due to accident last few weeks and it’s like they suddenly realised I can’t do anything anymore. Been a real wake up for rest of family. 😊 God works in mysterious ways..
We’re like twins!! It’s so refreshing to know that the way I lived my life wasn’t unique to just me. I’m glad I also found flylady and then you. Thank you for making this simpler and easier to implement and sharing. My life is so much more peaceful since implementing routines, small habits every day until it all became natural. Great video as always. Big hug!
You have really helped me. I am also a perfectionist who couldn't keep up and so let it all go especially after having children. You are the only other person I have heard express being a perfectionist and being 'all or nothing'. Thank you for highlighting that this happens and for being a healthy example of overcoming, achieving and being real. 🦋
Thank you. I come here for inspiration when I can't get going. From my heart, thank you - I am slowly changing my house..... and that's alright.
Maybe if I stacked my oreos in a glass jar I wouldn't eat them because I would want them to stay pretty. Hee hee
Great video thanks for the encouragement
Nope, I'd still eat them ;)
I just finished my first day using the system yesterday! The checklist made me feel so accomplished and I realized that I am not lazy and I do so much every single day.
I woke up feeling so much calmer and lighter.
Thank you Steph so much for these motivating videos and the positive energy. I’ve been binging your channel for the last 3 weeks educating myself.
This has been a life changer 🙏🏽
I am so glad!
This video spoke volumes to me. I started following you a year ago and watched all of your videos from the beginning. From you I found Diane in Denmark. I had tried Fly Lady many times over the span of about 10 years and just couldn't make it work, the silly jargon and tons of emails made it confusing and overwhelming for me. You guys made it simple and helped me figure out my own stumbling blocks, add chronic pain to the ones you listed. You and Diane gave me permission to figure out worked for me instead of following everything to the letter. My biggest take away is that staying on top of maintenance means I won't ever have to cripple myself with a 5 hour power clean. It might hurt a little to wipe down my shower and swish the toilet every day but it hurts a lot less than an intense scrubbing and I recover a lot faster. Keep doing what you're doing. Thank you for your hard work.
I am living with chronic pain too, and am sorry you are. The Flylady System doesn't work for me- but Stephanie's tweaks kind of do, and I was able to turn her way into something I can do and stick with. The maintenance system I do, based on what I learned from her, means that for me- even if I skip a whole week- it's manageable when I restart. For instance, this week I missed a day of work because of the pain and am making up the hours today. No housework got done. I kept up my kitchen all last week, then my husband went and batch cooked some sauces on Sunday and decimated my kitchen. Guess what? Still there. I load the dishwasher after meals but the big mess of pots and pans? Still there. I am NOT doing it. It's not worth being stuck in bed the next day.
@@carried9130 I understand and I'm sorry. Sometimes there will be a few days or a week where I can barely walk and all I can do is try to stay on top of my routines. I live alone which can be good and bad, on one hand my house doesn't get too messy but on the other hand I don't have anyone to ask for help. Learning to be ok with not getting everything done was hard. I'm glad your husband did meal prep, maybe he'll do the clean up if you ask. I hope you feel better soon, keep taking care of yourself, the great part is you can ease back in when you are able.
@@jenniferklotzer2794 massive hugs, thank you so much for your words. When it comes to the messes- I tell you there are times I wish I did live alone. Maybe the solution is his and hers houses? I've brought it up to him when the messes really exacerbate my pain and I feel very frustrated, and he gets quite defensive. So rather than fight, I just leave it. It may take days, but he will get the hint and finally clean that mess up. He talks a big game to doctors about me having a better quality of life, but he has to help with that too- he has to not make it harder for me to function.
I am sorry that you don't have help when you need it. I wish I could beam over to your place on a good day and give a hand to give you a break. Take care of yourself, and thanks again for your words. Sometimes, a bit of kindness goes a long way for someone, and you did that for me today.
@@carried9130 Hugs back.
Thank you so much Steph! 🤗 I needed this pep talk so much. My journey goes up and down due to chronic health issues that flare up. It feels harder each time to restart. I am saving this so I can come back whenever I need a boost of encouragement...
Thank you for saying:"good enough, is good enough." I found that very helpful. I needed that today.
Several moths ago I printed multiple copies of your weekly checklists and stored them on a clipboard which I reviewed daily. But, I had no home for the clipboard or routine time of day when I checked items off. When the printer malfunctioned I had no fresh lists 🥴 I fell off the wagon and didn't even notice 🤪 Months have gone by and I can't even find the clipboard. Time to start the process again. Printer still doesn't work but I will laminate one of the blanks and re-use it 👍🤗
I live right next to relatives who have a very perfect home. They always have judged me by how messy my house was. It has caused me a lot of grief and depression but Watching your videos Steph has made me feel better about myself and has helped shift my mindset away from "ALL or NOTHING". That itself has helped with my daily habits and I no longer look at vacuuming as such a huge task but a part of my daily routine. (I have small kids who are very messy so I must clean the main living area every day).
I admire you so much and went with you on a lot of your journey. The most inspiring event to me was when you were at a point where you were feeling defeated but you didn’t quit. You picked yourself, gathered your resources and started again using lessons learned. A great example for all of us.❤️
I will use your printable weekly checklists for the rest of my life!!!!
YES! Perfectionism is paralyzing an defeating. So much more can happen when one let's go of all of that. Great video, Steph!!!!
Hi-
Been a secret slob fan for a year or so...
I knew about the fly lady system before but you helped me to modernize and really embrace it.
I needed this little pep talk today!! I have been on and off the program for while. I have been in a perfectionist slump for about 6 months.
I really was helped by this Steph. 🌹
You got me at *focus on progress not perfection*. I also do all or nothing. About 20 years ago, I read a book with the flylady once and it helped me for about a month. But, I'm bad about building routines and habits. So somehow I lost the motivation. I HATE being this way. Liking and subscribing to see if you can teach this 55 year old dog new tricks.!
I never comment on videos, but this is one of the most amazing videos I have ever watched! You speak truth! And everything that you said is what I have been thinking but haven’t been able to put in words. Thank you for your motivation and tips. I had a baby a year and a half ago and it’s been so hard to feel like I can get things done. Before that, I was a school teacher and worked really hard at my job. So it’s been very hard to accept the fact that I can’t get EVERYTHING done in my home. Thank you again. 💛
I think Stephanie coined it best on another video, when she called how she used to clean, "binge cleaning". I have Bipolar so more often than not, it's been all or nothing throughout my life. In the last 7 years I have created my own system and recently have incorporated the ideas of other UA-camrs. I've grown leaps and bounds!! People with mental health issues function far better with structure and routine. Sadly the condition promotes chaos and confusion. One big saving grace was learning to write everything down so I won't forget what is most important to me.
Congratulations on your achievements!!
@@irishlady5051 Thank you!
Steph, I am you 2 years ago 🤣! I have 3 young children also, but a bit older than yours. Just started the 21 babysteps and I am a week in and I'm feeling better and more in control already and my house is already calmer and more presentable. Just need to beat the perfection monster and keep going! Thank you for your great videos and helpful systems and tips xxx ps I prepped all my fresh produce straight after the food shop today 💪😊 xxx
Thank you, for the message! 🙏😊💐 Literally, being a perfectionist had me mentally and physically paralyzed in every facet of my life. Incorporating the "Fly Lady System" will simplify household issues, but today's message will be applied overall.
My children are all grown now but when they were 6 & 8 their dad and I divorced, we all 3 moved from a 4,000 sq ft house with a pool to an 800 sq ft appointment. I remember being so embarrassed when my grade school son had a play date …..I began apologizing for our small living space and the little boy shrugged and said “I came to see you not your house”! Honestly those words changed my life! I have never since apologized just welcomed whomever, whenever ….it’s a very a great feeling!!
It's great to see young mums finding a home management system that eliminates guilt. I'm sure I'm not the only 'oldie' to find encouragement and release from guilt too. Energy is at a premium when health isn't so good - Steph, your system is perfect!
Oh, you are so close getting 100 000 subscribers! You totally deserve that, you’ve helped others so much. Thank you from A (former) perfectionist from Scandinavia ❤️
Thankyou
40 yrs of cleaning and so much still to learn. Children grown up. New challenges working 4 days a week and dealing with a chronic health condition also carer for adult daughter. Life is busier than ever. Older and have less energy
Here I am, over 60 and never understood how to clean. The Fly Lady system has helped me, but more that that - you showing me how it worked for you!!
I identify with the all or nothing anxiety of home cleaning and management as well. I’m taking time as we move in to declutter and donate/throw away instead of continuing this cycle.
I’m hopeful and people like you help me feel like I’m not alone as well. Thank you for consistently showing up here, it helps us feel…..included! ✨❤️🙌🏽
You explained very well the problem I had of being paralyzed by perfection. My home was a disaster because I never had the energy to finish cleaning it. It drove me batty thinking I couldn't do it. I wasted my free-time watching movies, which caused me to waste my "play-money" on DVDs. Now that I've stopped wasting that time on movies, I've been able to stop spending money on DVDs, which gives me money to spend on containers to help organize my home and I am actually enjoying turning one little bit of my home at a time into a more functional space.
This was so helpful steph!
I absolutely LOVED this. Everything you said is 100% relatable and I am totally getting my timer out. Like you said, start today. So that's what I'm gonna do. Thanks for your wisdom.
Good luck... I've loved it.
Idk why I'm crying right now...ok, maybe I do. Thank you for this short, simple, concise and motivational video. You've made a difference in a life today. My life. Please know you halted the dark thoughts I was having (they were taking me to a very scary place 😢). As I watched the 2nd half of this video I got dressed (yes, to shoes 😉), washed my face and brushed my hair & teeth. I gathered a load of laundry which I'm going to put in the washer as soon as I'm finished with this comment. Then I'm going to grab my timer and go do a few things that have been driving me crazy. I'll comment again when I'm finished (simply to hold myself accountable). Again, thank you. Bless you for the work you do here on UA-cam and the difference you make. Much love and respect 🧡
So I didn't get back on to comment yesterday bc I didn't want to get sidetracked. But I completely turned my day around after watching your video! I got some things accomplished and managed to be proud of myself even though things weren't perfect... I accepted that "Perfectly Imperfect" was progress and totally acceptable ☺️ Thank you
Omg this is me. I get paralyzed from my perfectionism.
@Joyce B it’s definitely a struggle
I love your videos! You are so calming and encouraging and get my personality. I work full-time, have two young kids, and cleaning/organizing isn’t something I’m naturally good at. For many years, I’d watch videos or read books to help, but still felt so overwhelmed. Between people like you and Fly Lady, I’ve recognized that “paralyzed by perfection” approach. I’d get bogged down in trying to do things in the perfect order or find the perfect system or have an all or nothing approach. I feel like the tide might finally be turning, but I still have a long way to go.
I certainly wish I had had your insight when I was a young mom, working full time and floundering at keeping up. Even now, in my late 60's, I have learned some tricks to be better organized. Got my kitchen cabinets all “binned” up the other day. Thanks for that!
OMG ... it's like you pointed at the stick in my eye. I was just not realizing i was a perfectionist and THAT was why i felt so overwhelmed by the mess.. I felt i couldn't make my house perfect again. Thank you! I literally cried at min 1.30.......
I really needed to hear this! Thank you!
Awesome advice, gonna give Fly Lady a try.
Congrats on 100K.
I’m also from a small northern town in BC so I can totally understand grocery prices, food availability, and gas prices.
Thank you for being you - glad to see some relatable content❣️
Progress not perfection was game changer for me!!! 🙏 routine checklist 🤗🤗very helpful!!!!
Wow, Steph, I really needed to hear all of this!!!!
Yes, just the video we all needed to hear! Excellent ideas, I love how you have explained how to face perfectionism and overcome it. Please make more like this... Maybe one on PROCRASTINATION ! :)
Thank You So Much for Your advice❣️. It’s good to know there are others out there like Me! 😳
I love how You have broken things down. (I am a “Do it All ~ or Die” kind of Gal like You were)
I totally NEED TO DECLUTTER My Closet! I have clothes in there I haven’t worn in Years (and they will never fit Me again 😢) It is stacked, thrown and piled up Everywhere... I can’t even find what I want ~ when I need it. I’m wasting time, money and My Mind‼️
So...little Chunks it will be!
Let’s see how it goes...!
I don’t believe I’ve ever commented on a UA-cam video, but I had to comment on this one...
You have no idea how encouraging it is know that there are other perfectionist slobs like me out there and that there is HOPE that we can change. It is so strange listening to you talk about how you used to be, because it’s me! It’s like watching another version of myself in the future after the change.
I’m still at the beginning. I’ve been following you for a little over a year, but I’m still in the “my house and life are a mess” stage. I’ve started the baby steps once, but I’ve had setbacks: the birth of my second baby, health problems, construction in my house, etc. BUT I’m getting ready to start the baby steps again. I’m overwhelmed, but hopeful. I can visualize the version of me on the other side of this.
This video has refreshed me and encouraged me. Thank you Steph for being real and vulnerable with us from the start and for using your experience to help others. You’ve helped so many. You are awesome!
I have followed you from the beginning. Now your over 96k. I relate a lot with you. I’m also a perfectionist. I tried the fly lady before I found your channel but I couldn’t follow now that I found you I can follow the system. You make it easy to follow and understand the fly lady system
Thank you for sticking with me :)
Great, great job, Steph! I wish I had known about FlyLady when I was working full time and raising my kids. It makes life so much easier!
It makes a huge difference for me
Oh my word!! You’re like my lost twin! Thank you for this video!!! 🥰
Totally feeling you on being a Perfectionist & in the past, mostly so, being paralyzed, & just not doing something rather than not getting it just “right”...one of my new sayings ( not mine) that I love is: “Done is better than Perfect”
This is so me! I have done this for years! I’m so thankful for people like you on UA-cam that are helping me make a change!
This is soooo good and speaking straight to me! :)
I have been opening my blinds in the morning since winter started, making my bed everyday for about a year, and doing the dishes, cleaning the sink out, and cleaning up after dinner every single night for about 6 weeks now.... and I'm stuck. I'm still trying to get my Christmas stuff put away and I'm just so overwhelmed with it.
You are not stuck, you are doing great! You just listed 5 or 6 new habits that you have stuck with for 6 WEEKS! that's a big deal! Go you!! 🎉🎉🎉
Maybe you are trying to do all the Christmas stuff at one time and that is what is overwhelming you? Just take out ONE storage container and start putting one or two Christmas items in it each day until full and put the container away. Keep doing this with as many containers as you need until it is all put away. Small steps is progress.
Love your video! Shared with my niece who’s struggling with work and kids
Someone in my adhd support group said ‘done is better than perfect.’ I’ve held that close ever since.
This is a wonderful video!!💜
So inspiring! I’ve been watching for awhile and I just appreciate you and your tips so much!
Loved the Video 💝
Great video! We are expecting our 3rd Baby anytime, so the only things I get done is daily laundry, dish washer an the home blessing hour. Sometimes I also get myself up gor a 10min power tidy, and I celebrate it everytime. You are absolutely right ... do what you can and this is enough.
These are such great tips. Perfectionism can absolutely be paralyzing and prevents us from making progress. Being happy with "good enough" is something I have to actively work at!
I love this so much. I am going to re-watch this over and over to get encouragement!
Have been following you from the beginning, and I love this video! What a great reminder! Much love from Maui-
What you said about perfectionism and being paralyzed by it resonates so much with me. I'm a perfectionist too but my house is a wreck.
You are so good in explaining my way of looking at my clutter in the past. This video is so helpful to understand. :-)
Love love love! I’m going to start watching the videos again. So motivational and real!