The Silent To-Do List (this is LIFE CHANGING!)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 22 лют 2021
- Today let's talk about this idea of a "Silent To-Do List", a concept introduced by Fumio Sasaki in his book "Goodbye, Things" (amzn.to/2ZGNz1t). The idea suggests that EVERY item in our home is sending out a message...and it isn't always a good message!
Video from Simple Victoria on the Silent To Do List: • The SILENT TO-DO LIST ...
N E E D M O R E S U P P O R T ?
We have two ways to get more decluttering help:
The Minimal Mom Private Membership Group
cli.re/minimal-mom-private-group
Take Your House Back Course
www.takeyourhouseback.com
P O P U L A R O N T H E B L O G R I G H T N O W :
Awesome Bundt Cake Recipes:
cli.re/bundt-cakes
Make a Bundt Cake Gift Basket with Printable Recipe Card:
cli.re/bundt-cake-gift-basket
EASY & Cheap DIY Photo Canvas (Make this for under $5!):
cli.re/diy-gift-for-kids
Transitioning baby from co-sleeping to crib:
cli.re/co-sleeping-to-crib
Bacon Guacamole Grilled Cheese:
cli.re/bacon-guacamole-grille...
Self-Watering Herb Garden: cli.re/self-watering-herb
Best Remedy to Stop a Cold: cli.re/cold-remedy
Minimalist Meal Planning with Printable: cli.re/meal-planning
C U R R E N T L Y R E A D I N G :
"Get Your Life Back" by John Eldredge: amzn.to/32M6I4k
Favorite Decluttering Book "Decluttering at the Speed of Life" by Dana White (A Slob Comes Clean): amzn.to/3cgHSNh
LISTEN FOR FREE ON AUDIBLE: amzn.to/2ItCr2f
🖤 FACEBOOK: / minimalmom
🖤 INSTAGRAM: / the.minimal.mom
M O S T P O P U L A R O N O U R B L O G R I G H T N O W :
Pumpkin Spice Bundt Cake: cli.re/pumpkin-spice-bundt-cake
Super Easy Peach Cobbler: cli.re/peach-cobbler
Transitioning baby from co-sleeping to crib: cli.re/co-sleeping-to-crib
DIY Self Watering Herb Garden: cli.re/self-watering-herb
BEST Chocolate Sour Cream Bundt Cake: cli.re/chocolate-bundt
#minimalism #familyminimalism #minimalist
M O S T P O P U L A R V I D E O S R I G H T N O W :
57 Things We No Longer Buy: • 57 Things We Don't Buy...
How to Declutter WITHOUT Making a Mess: • How to Declutter WITHO...
FAVORITE Productivity Tip (ever!!): • How to create a "SUPER...
Eliminate Paper Clutter Video Part 1: • Eradicate Paper Clutte...
Organize Paper Clutter Video Part 2: • Simple Paper Clutter O...
THE TRICK TO SIMPLIFY YOUR KITCHEN QUICKLY: • Simplify your Kitchen ...
KITCHEN TOUR : • Minimalist Kitchen Tou...
MY MEAL PLANNING SYSTEM VIDEO : • Simple Meal Planning y...
📺 P O P U L A R R E L A T E D:
Why I became a Minimalist: • Why I became a minimal...
The Best Place to Start with Minimalism: • Best Place to start wi...
What to do when You get STUCK: • Decluttering Sentiment...
Video FAQ: • FAQ from Previous Vide...
*AFFILIATE LINKS! THANK YOU!!!*
..............
🛍 Affiliate links:
📷 My Camera (that I LOVE!!): Canon G7X amzn.to/2o9hWLi
⌚Watch: (also LOVE ;) Garmin vivoactive 3 (White & Rose Gold) amzn.to/2HPGFQr
🖤 Tripod: amzn.to/2MMFzHs
..............
Royalty-free music used with permission from the UA-cam Creator Studio, Epidemic Sound and purchased from AudioJungle.net - Навчання та стиль
This helps me understand why the clutter is stressful for me but doesn't bother my husband and kids: They don't see it as their responsibility to take care of.
SO VERY TRUE. I had to literally train my husband to see the clutter and do something about it. He would sweep the floor, but not put away the stuff in their right places. He would replace the toilet paper, but not fold towels or put the things he used back into the vanity drawers. I was not about to spend my life cleaning after him, but was happy with him... so I literally trained him, like a kid. Made drills, too. "Today, let's see what you can do to make our living room feel as clean and organized as possible." He would do what he saw was needed, and looked at me to see if he got it right, if he didn't forget any thing haha
Eventually, it became more natural for him, and I had less stress to deal with. Of course, we're not perfect, we're not always on top of everything, but now I'm not the only one trying to make the house look nice and organized all the time.
Same here lady!
@@koalaeucalyptus And what is THE SECRET? How did you make him see? 😅
@@kleinefue-groetone2958 lots of pre-school level training! Hahaha for real though, it was basically a drill a day, first pointing things out and showing him how it's done, then gradually letting him do it, until he looked in my face and saw I was satisfyied 👍
@@koalaeucalyptus a HUGE LOL!!!! 😂
This is why I don't get stressed in other people's houses, even if they DO have some clutter. Because it's not "my" to-do list 😅 and why we apologise for the mess when people come over and they're like "what are you sorry for?! They don't see it, because it's not their mess or problem 🤣
exactly i always say this!!!!! even on tv watching other ppl a messes doesn’t bother me lol
Such a great perspective!!! So true!!! Well-said 😃👍🏼🌿✨
So true
One of my favorite A-HA moments came as I was walking passed the open closet door where all of the board games were stored.. They were well organized, but but we didn't love playing board games/card games/puzzles. Many were gifts, some we spent a lot of money on, and I remember being a child and loving game nights so I tried to recreate that for me and my sons. But it just wasn't our thing. So every time I walked past this game closet, it would start talking to me saying things like, "well if you were a good mom you would be playing games with your children, if you actually cared about the boys you would watch fewer movies, etc.." Every day I would walk past that closet and feel bad about myself, like I wasn't a good mother, like I wasn't good enough. Finally I had had enough. I went through the closet with the boys and we each kept our favorite game or 2, and everything else moved out.. Hopefully to bless other families that loved playing games. I don't even remember the names of the games we gave away, but I can tell you the names of the few that we kept and enjoyed playing together. The game closet is now silent.
Thanks for writing this. I didn’t realize that I have been feeling guilt for the same things! Freedom 😁
Yes!! Same here!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I love the idea of a silent closet!
I think I’m at the point now where getting items out of my house gives me that happy feeling that I used to get with shopping. 😊
I'm slowly getting there. It's life changing!
Exactly! 💯
Yes!!
That's great!!!!
Me too! So satisfying!
The silent list is why a lot of us get upset with our spouse since they don't hear all the "stuff" that keeps nagging us!
Yes! It makes so much sense now!
I read this as "heal" instead of "hear" and that really struck a chord! How many times do we get upset and irritable because our spouse didn't HEAL things that they don't even know about.
@@molliemarissa6189 oh my gosh, yes!!!
Yessss!!! Wow that is eye opening!
Big YES! good insight
Thanks, Dawn...enjoyed that. I actually have a very polite, non-demanding baking sheet. At night when I leave it out, it says, "no problem, mom. Thanks for using me today. I'm glad I can be so helpful and I LOVE working in the kitchen! I'm fine with staying out all night and getting a little fresh air. I know you are tired. Go to bed and get some rest. See you in the morning. I love taking a morning bath!" Haha! (Yes, I know my baking sheet is very verbose!) 😂
LOVE THIS!!! Thank you for the smile!!!
@@TheMinimalMom 😊
I'd pay good money for pots/dishes like that!!!
🤣🤣😂😂🤣
Have you thought about developing a line of cookware to market? JS
When you are not overwhelmed then maintenance is a joy, but when you are overwhelmed with stress and responsibilities, then even enjoyable tasks like walking the dog or watering the garden becomes just another burden
Yes! So true!
Damn I feel this so much.
This is why I have a cleaner come in 1x a month
Absolutely True!!!
Well said 😂
That “vacation home” comment is what led me to find minimalism and learn that it was a thing. I noticed how much happier I was when I walked into a clean hotel room or an Airbnb. And how easy it was to live out of my suitcase. And how easy it was to get out of the house and do things, instead of constantly worrying about what needed to be cleaned and what chores needed to be done.
So the new question is "does this spark stress?"
🤯
LOL YES
👍Perfect!
🤣 right!?
Yes!
"If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful." William Morris (1882)
my understanding of useful and my husband's understanding of useful are 2 completely different animals 😂 and they fight all the time!
YES!!! This is how I view my house and my stuff. I once threw out 15 large trash bags full of stuff in one weekend that just didn't make me happy or wasn't useful. Now when I wanna buy anything, I ask myself how long till I'm just gonna trash it? I end up buying way less
I think the point was that these two questions do not always work for some of us. We may have many things that fit those two categories that are still clutter. I am a very resourceful person that is artistic. I keep too many things because I feel they are beautiful /I like it (ie. sparks joy) or they are useful but not currently using them.
@@mountainflowerconcessionai2656 Someone gave me: Is there someone else who could enjoy/benefit from this right now?
I’m a crafter so that is not a good rule of thumb because literally everything can be seen as useful… at some point
A mind shift for me as a woman who is the homemaker is now that I have decluttered is to see the home as a place of rest instead of always being at work. For most women the home is their work. By decluttering and clearing surfaces it makes it okay to relax at the end of the day and to also have days off.
I hope I get to that point.
In the process. Inherited a lot of stuff from parents. Photos and artwork- dad and mom were illustrators. What do i do?
@@laurenfasano6049 I'm not very knowledgeable about technology, but a lot of minimalists recommend taking pictures of those things so you can have a digital record of them, rather than the physical piles. I'm trying to find someone now to help me convert boxes of photos to digital, so good luck to us both :)
@@laurenfasano6049 Shutterfly. Choose your favorites. Make a book. They have awesome templates that can house lots of images. They look great, so you could display them or store in a memories box or whatever you use to store sentimental items. Good luck! It's hard to let go of loved ones things. I'm down to less than one box of all my sister's things. It took years of reminding myself they're just things, they aren't her lol ❤
My rule was always less is more when it comes to decor and clutter. Like instead of 20 items from the dollar spot, get like 1 or 2 more expensive pieces. I seen to revisit her videos during spring, fall and every time I'm pregnant lol😂
I’ve always described clutter and mess as being literal noise to me. I was never able to explain why it felt loud. Now I know. It’s screaming at me that something isn’t done or I’m not doing it right. Thank you, I can now put into words that feeling.
my silent reminder is, :"Don't put it down. Put it away." Saves steps later, stops clutter, relieves confusion, infuses peace in my mind.
Thank you. Good idea. I hope I will be repeating that in my head for quite a while. I can see how it could make a large difference.
I have been practicing this for about 15 years. It's SOOO GOOD.
Hmmm.. read this comment a few days ago. Not sure how i feel about it. Makes a lot of sense, and the sentence has followed me around the house, but not sure in a good way. It stresses me out. Maybe in connection to the silent to do list.
That was my moms motto... when I read that, I read it in her voice 😂 very great rule
So Very True!!!
Procrastination is An Extremely "Heavy Weight" to Drag around!!!
"Just Do It!
'It' Will always be there in the background....
"Waiting for You, Nagging at You, Tugging at Your Conscience!"
So, instead of Just doing it "now" and It's Over and Done....You alone, have created hundreds of "almost believable" Reasons, (Reality: Calls them "excuses!") that now weigh you down... and that "Ball" at the end of "Your Own Chain!" Now weighs a Thousand pounds. As it's been dragged around behind you, gathering Dust, which by itself, doesn't weigh much, but accumulates and multiplies, with Each and Everytime You Ignore it, and File into your "I'll Do it Tomorrow!" Cabinet...
Only to discover, that instead of the lite feather it used to be "in the beginning!" the First time You thought about it!
You're only *Cheating* "Yourself!!"
Which if Nothing else in this Life Is More True...
"Don't be the Cause!"
Be, The "Solution..." Especially when *You*, are the Cause and the Solution!"
Never thought of my stuff as demanding attention, but it is true....dust me, clean me, put me on another shelf! Minimizing is like saying, "Shut up!!!!" 🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes!!!
BEST COMMENT!
So true.
I walk in and the floors scream clean me!!!! Arg.
I've been trying so hard to make my bedroom closer to a "hotel" room recently and I've been sleeping so much better and now I understand why 😮
I saw a meme once that describes me perfectly, “if I threw out everything that didn’t spark joy I would be standing by the side of the road holding my dog and my coffee pot”.
I got divorced 18 years ago, there were boxes that sat for five years before I could emotionally bring myself to even open them, I am only now opening the boxes of pictures from those years and that’s only to sort them for my kids and move them on. I find I am emotionally attached to my things. As a child I was not raised by my parents and I think I transferred that emotion to my books, and my things to feel stable. My divorce of 18 years shook me, even sitting here 18 years later I’m in tears. Your videos help tether me in when I’m trying to figure out what to do next.
Thanks for sharing.
☮️❤️-Kirsten
Keep hope alive.
I hope you are able to find peace and enjoyment in your freedom. Now you live for you, the people and activities that fulfill you the most.
Up North Adventure:
💕💕💕 You can do this! 💕💕💕
Only you will know the time. I have boxes too. We got this!
I have things in storage for 20 years. Going to try to go through it this summer ( thanks covid for this ) . I too hold on to things, for two reasons . One is for memories. I dont have a good memory and it is warped ( the opposite of rose colored glasses ). So these thing remind me of the good times. The other stuff is from future possibilities. The entire box of nautical themed items because I always wanted to decorate one room that way. This is by far the bulk of the items I need to go through. Items that represent future possibilities that will never happen.
Why do most of them speak only to me? My husband is also in the room😂😂
I laughed so hard at this comment! Same here! 😆😆😆
😂😂👍
Because men have selective hearing.
Omg, thank you, I laughed so hard.
This is a very real dynamic found in relationships. It's called 'invisible labor' or 'mental load'. In heterosexual relationships women typically carry a much higher portion of that load then men. It's a worthwhile thing to read up on when you get a chance.
You nailed my whole retirement life philosophy in one sentence..... live my life like I’m on vacation. Yep, nailed it!
Your giggling while talking about the flowers and saying "I just needed flowers OK" is a whole mood 😂
I started buying myself flowers when I bought my first house! Married now, still buy my own flowers but my husband always picks some up if he is at the market :)
Dishes: wash me
Sofa: lay on me, put your feet up
My sofa yells at me, too. I comply.🤣
Dished could.also say Wow what a great meal we had and grateful there was food to prepare.
The problem is that, as you lie on the sofa, your mind is still saying "ytou should wash the dishes". So the sheer pleasure of lying on the sofa is diluted by the "silent to do list". 😪😪
@@desrekruger3760 Yes! My clothes remind me that I have enough money for nice clothes. While I sweep the floor, I think about how lucky I am to have a pretty wood floor and a warm place to live.
Especially when you're house is VERY open and the kitchen is basically part of the living room. You can see the sofa from the sink, and you can see the sink from the sofa. You think, I should be relaxing, I work myself too hard. Then while you're relaxing you think, I could be doing (insert 1 of a million tasks here)
Thinking about putting a curtain up to get some separation! Lol
Why do things at my house scream messages at me but none to my HUSBAND? lol.
In all seriousness. This question really explains why I constantly have a running to do list in my head and feel overwhelmed all the time.
I agree!!!!
I think husbands must be hard of hearing! 😂 Mine suffers this same affliction! Your comment made me chuckle!
Idk why my husbands clothes aren’t screaming at him like “please pick me up of the floor, it’s cold down here and I’d feel better in the laundry hamper”.
It’s likely because you (and most women) carry the mental load and domestic load and your husband chooses not to share it.
🤣. Mine definitely doesn’t hear anything.
OMG I'm only 2 mins in and feeling this so much! No wonder I get so much anxiety walking around my house. My to do list is insane.
EXACTLY. Insane and overwhelming...thus the denial. 🤔 Hmmm, I think I can do better than this.
I feel the same way! I feel overwhelmed with my silent to do list and then I end up not do anything.
YES! All those damn screamers shouting orders at me! lol
🤣🤣🤣
I felt very unheard, unseen, and unloved as a child by my mom, and even as an adult she has continued to ridicule and shame me. I was thinking about what you said about everything sending a message to us and I realized as I looked around how I have been using my stuff to try and send the message to myself that I am ok, that I am worth being loved, that I matter, that I can buy for myself now,etc. Other stuff tells me that I have always put off making decisions about my home and who I am because I was never really allowed to have wants/desires/preferences growing up. I have tried to use stuff to cover the voice in my head from my childhood that says I wasn’t “enough”, that I was stupid and silly, that I wasn’t worth anything….As you said, it’s hard to put into words, but this definitely gives me something to think about and reflect on as I start this journey. I want to keep the items that remind me that I get to live my own adult life now , and things that remind me every time I see them that it’s ok, and even exciting, to just get to be myself! ❤️
Oh my, Susan... I can so relate. Keep ing beautiful things to ERASE the ugliness that others have inflicted.
Oh wow… thank you
Very insightful of you to realize this. God bless you on this journey. Try to forgive your mom and keep on making progress. Chances are she had issues from her past as well. So glad you shared this with us. Helps me want to keep moving forward too!
@SusanCrank I believe this goes for so many of us including myself. The fact that you realize it makes you that much smarter & worthy of everything!🤗
omigosh! I'm so glad you said this! Hugs.
When clutter is an issue my home feels "loud" and this gave me a new perspective as to why. Thank you!
I absolutely agree!! It can be visually over stimulating. Or as my son said when he was about 3 years old, "It's loud on my eyeballs."
Yes. I told my sister in law, the other day, that clutter is literally noise to me. She looked at me like i was crazy. Her house is very loud.
I love this message. I had a suitcase out in my bedroom for two weeks. I got up and put it away. It took less than 3 minutes to get it to “be quiet”.
Lol 😂
I started watching this video while sitting in my comfy chair. I ended this video while cleaning my kitchen. Those silent messages got to me. Lol!
You are speaking to me. I’m in tears and finally after years of therapy and such, someone can finally put into words what I’m feeling
Brilliant, Dawn! I often refer to my apartment as "noisy", even though both my roommate and I are quiet people. Now I understand that the "noise" is all the stuff yelling at me to do something. In the middle of your video, I hit pause and took care of one noisy thing, and I feel better already. Thank you!
👍
This makes soooo much sense, explains that “unnoticed” stress.
Ditto!!
This is exactly why I keep watching. Great tips and tricks even though I thought like you spark joy!/:&”- even you and I can and do change our minds. Love ❤️ and blessings from California 💕❤️💕🙋♀️
the visual noise is also very talkative!
Goodbye things. Book. Silent messages adds to our subconscious to do list.
Reduce items
Reduces stress and anxiety
Keep going....should help us function and feel better
Clutter and undone chores scream at me and this is why my home doesn't feel peaceful to me. #Lightbulb
So TRUE ! ! !
@@lisaa3978 it is also true. It really matters how judgmental we are towards ourselves, but for now, i realise that Ifeel like they have messages to me and reminding me a lot of things I want and need to do
@@lisaa3978 Not very nice to call people crazy. A lot of us have put pressure on ourselves or Western Society has put pressures on us and videos like this really help, especially for people with mental disorders or illnesses. Try not to be so judgemental.
@Nehmahmah: you get me!
Absolutely a LIGHTBULB moment for me. I am sitting amongst a literal mountain of stuff I have gathered for selling, quarantine, or donation, and it is screaming at me while I am trying to pretend it is no longer here. I want to walk around my whole house this week listening to everything around me so I can decide what to get rid of. I feel like I am putting it all on notice to be nice to me! :D
I’ve just watched this video and so many pieces of the jigsaw have slotted into place. I’m busy decluttering my home of 33 years, when my husband and I moved in we had three kids. Now they all have their own homes, sadly my husband passed and now there’s just me, but I love this house, it’s just increasingly I’ve been overwhelmed by all the stuff in it. Honestly it is all my stuff now, but there’s so much of it. I’ve been on my quest for over a year, treating it as a marathon rather than a sprint. Sometimes I get really demotivated, but finding your channel has really helped. At first I was sorting cupboards etc but then putting the stuff back in a more organised way. Not now, the more I do, the easier it is and the more I am loving this simplified house. Less stress, less cleaning, less spending (it’s really had a positive effect on the impulse buying), greater contentment. You’re a star Dawn, thank you so much x
I'm in the same place!! I 'm soooo overwhelmed that I don't know where to start....
@@jenniferwhite-mandujano4511 start how I did, I watched Cas at Clutterbug to discover what sort of organiser I was. Then I watched Dawn, and watched, and some more. I started with a timer in the kitchen, then I cleaned a drawer, using Cas’s method to reorganise as I went. I’m not saying I got it right, but it’s working for me. I’m still decluttering but once I accepted the marathon not a sprint idea, I was on a roll. The overwhelm is awful, I can’t tell you how much better I feel, so I’m hoping you do too. Lots of luck x
Good job, keep going your adult kids will thank you for going through and purging things.
That’s how I started too. I’m still on my journey but it is so much easier. Keep going x
@@jenniferwhite-mandujano4511 watch Cas at Clutterbug and find your organising style. I’m a ladybug and honestly, the description so fitted me, it was unreal. Watch lots of Dawn, and watch some more. Don’t think
You have to do a really big job, start with a drawer or a five minute timer. I’ve learned to be really intentional. Keep going, the rewards are nothing short of marvellous x
The basement asks, “Are you newwww here?!!!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
We have lived in our home for 16 yrs. My now almost 19 yr old has always asked me, "where does this go?" I always just look at her and think...Is she NEW here???
I always wondered if people commenting about Marie Kondo actually read at least her first book. Because what you describe as a 'silent to do list', she describes as standing under a waterfall. You're constantly reminded by the sound of the loud water where you are. And same goes for things in your house. You're constantly reminded of the clutter. That's why she talks about keeping what sparks joy to you. It's not about minimalising to her. You'll just take more care of stuff that sparks joy and have a place to go back to.
For me, the message of “what is this thing saying about me as a person?” is huge. Even stored craft things carry expectations of the life I’m supposed to be living - things I should be able to do but my life isn’t the way it should to allow me to do this now. Judgement on where my life is or what kind of person I should be. This is such an important concept.
Yes! This is how I’d been feeling too! I’m finally letting go of the things that have caused me to be in this mindset for so long. 😭❤️
This is basically the idea behind a “fantasy self”.
So agree
Making a list of places that will use the items I bought with good intentions, has made a difference in what I am letting go of. To donate, in general terms: youth groups, senior (day) care centers, proceeds from yard sales that will benefit either.
Also, not forgetting community organizations like Salvation Army, etc.
Just today, I had a discussion about stuff my Mom is keeping from her parents. I told her the dead don't care what you do with their stuff. Harsh words, but she needs to let go of things she doesn't use and crowd her home, keeping her from having the space to enjoy for other things. I told her "Life is for the living, let go of stuff and LIVE."
I'm sooo happy to see this video! My ex never understood when I told him that the more the house is clean (even if the cupboards are full, but visually clean at least) the more my anxiety is low and I can do things because my head is "clean" and I feel better!
"Stuff, you're not the boss of me." "We can't live in our vacation home, but we can live a whole lot closer to it." So good.
We have a storage room that is tucked away in the basement. Nobody sees it. Nobody has to walk through it. It is basically the room where I put everything that I don't know what to do with. Now, even though I never really have to see it or deal with it. . .this room continues to scream at me in my head. This was a great video for me!
I agree. I have the same problem. It's hard to deal with because it's not in front of you. I've started doing 5 minutes or more a day to chip away. A slow but progressive process
I had a small one like this as well and finally had the courage, after two months of simplifying, to tackle it and threw away the vast majority of the hoarded mess. It made space to place good items and clear some additional room in the house. It was worth every back-breaking hour!
Thanks so much for sharing this comment. I’m not the only one, but I’ll bet mine is worse than yours. When we bought out home 3 YEARS AGO, one of the great things was a huge storage room in the basement that was formerly a garage. I had lofty ideas of how organized it would be. The day we moved, my husband decided to empty a storage shed we had been renting for 10 years while he had movers to help. They just piled everything up. It is awful! I have worked on it here and there over the years, but mostly just allowed it to be an almost daily guilt trip. It is just so overwhelming. So glad to know I’m not an awful person🤷🏻♀️
Me too. This one hit me right where it needed to.
I've adopted an " if it's not being used, I don't need it " attitude. It works well for me from small spice jars to clothes.
That pan was just saying "Aluminum foil is your friend"
That's my secret too...😉
😂😂😂
Nooo silicone mats are better!! Aluminum foil is wasteful.
It's also toxic
@@Halaria13 I didn't know that! I'll try alternatives. 👍 But if I didn't stop soon enough and die from it my tombstone will read "She was foiled"
Dawn, help. I told my husband about this video a few months ago. I'm now in the Take your house back course. All he heard about this video is that your basement gets wet. "That's not normal. They need to get that fixed." His concern is genuine and we both appreciate all of your videos.
My sister-in-law sent me the link to this video and it truly changed my life. You put into words what I had been feeling for years but didn’t understand it! I started watching more of your videos, subscribed to your channel, and have been decluttering for almost a year now. I still have a lot to do and it really is an ongoing process but thank you so much for the inspiration I needed to begin this journey.
I think the point about not forgetting what you have is really key. Sometimes, I need to clean off my shelves just to remind myself what I already own so I won't rebuy it.
this! I like to handle my belongings regularly, in part so I know what I have. If I had more than I could pay attention to/touch reasonably often, that would be too much.
Lightbulb! Mind BLOWN! Mic drop! No wonder I have been so overwhelmed lately. Too many "to do" silent messages!!
Right?!
Same here!!! For the last few years. Looking forward to returning home this weekend to start purging even more. Can't wait! 😉
Same!
I think the new question is, "Is my house being quiet?" I love the sense of a clean, quiet house when I walk in, and clutter does seem to make it noisy. You clarified this! The stuff seems to be yelling at us to act upon it in some way. I can relate to this way more than "Does it spark joy?"
Does it spark joy never resonated with me. I mean what is joy and to what degree? It was difficult to answer the question. But is my house being quiet? That's a clear yes or no answer. Much easier to answer.
I can relate too! Joy isn't something I think of with regards to clothing or household goods. Quiet vs asking for attention does.
yes. i had a lot of trouble with the DOES IT SPARK JOY question cos inevitably most of my clothes would answer SOMETIMES and most of my things around the house would answer YEAH A BIT.
I call it stuff you have to babysit.
When we moved into our RV 9 months ago I thought it would be like living in a hotel or vacation house with no clutter. It’s amazing how stuff accumulates; a couple trips to Walmart or the farmers market, etc. You have to stay on top of it.
Great video. Thank you. You’re so upbeat and personable.
We actually call our home our "vacay house" so we think about the joy it brings and having it simple so we can LIVE and ENJOY life!!💛
5:00 "we have such an incredible Creator that we serve" Made my night. Thank you.
It made me so sad when everyone was hating on Marie Kondo. I love her approach to keeping what sparks joy.
It's ok, nobody "hates" her. We just laugh at the approach as a way of gently mocking ourselves because we fall way short of the ideal.
It goes waaay deeper than just "sparks joy". She has her own netflix show and the first episode really made re-think everything. She's so wonderful 💕 highly recommend. I think it's called Tidying up with Mari Kondo. ❤
I got rid of what didn't spark joy. E.g. My iron. ,🤣
@@manichairdo9265 haha :D good one
Agreed! I think reading her books on tidying clarifies so much of her philosophy; she talks a lot about how to keep items you don’t love but need, and different ways to interpret “sparking joy”. As someone with ADHD and hoarding issues, I find Marie Kondo’s philosophy so kind, thoughtful and effective.
I’m like 🤯. This has blown my mind. This is why I’m so stressed in my own house. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏻🥰
Yeah I hear voices too. LOL My husband has a t-shirt that says, “I do everything the voices in my wife’s head tells me to do.”
Hahahaha! For us it's more like I do everything that the voices in my husband's head SHOULD be telling him to do but instead, don't seem to be giving any thought to. I'm so tired of cleaning up his pile of clothing so that our bedroom will have some semblance of tidiness.
😂
@@monkiram love this!
This described what I’ve been trying to tell my husband! I am so tired of all the messages from all the hidden stuff. I’ve been binge watching your videos and I finally got unstuck in my decluttering. I would say I’m 90% finished with the big purge! It feels amazing. Thanks for your content.
It's so me !! Only I still don't manage to get unstuck with my decluttering 😟😟😭
@@laimasher8915
It still seems overwhelming to me but I’m trying not to be critical of myself because for me decluttering is a slow process. I have other things going on in my life that also take up my time so I can’t declutter everything all at once. I’m OK with that. Because I’m not giving up on my decluttering. I’m just doing it at a slower pace.
@@nancyellen8006 I'm with you on that, just my kids sports alone keep me so busy that I barely have time to cook, clean and take care of myself🙂
I read MK’s book and tried asking myself if items ‘sparked joy’, but it didn’t really work. This helped me realise that I needed something a little less subjective that can be more easily applied to items in our home which serve a practical purpose. Asking what an item ‘says (or ‘suggests’) to you’ is far more relatable. Thanks for sharing this tip!
I think the hardest part is living with 4 other people. I have to consider the things diving me crazy are bringing one of them joy. Compromising is super important. 🙏
Our dog is a great example of things we have that sends out good messages! We love and adore him - and he loves and adores us. He sheds his hair in the spring and summer - which drives me crazy! He barks at everyone who comes near our house, even if he knows them well. (I say to him "Those are our neighbours - why do you bark at them every time they come home?!") But as for sparking joy, he is incomparable. His presence in our lives is one of the best things either of us has ever experienced. So the chores (or irritations) he brings shrink into insignificance compared with how much happiness he inspires.
Get a cat, too! She will also give you joy!
This totally describes my dog, too. I came home from a vacation a few years ago to find that my “adult” son had brought home a rescue dog. I was so mad, knowing exactly who’d end up caring for yet ANOTHER being that I can’t deal with! But within days, I knew this dog was meant to be in our family. I’ve never been good at turning away strays, I’ve had MANY- animal AND human. They are all special, but this one came at a time when I didn’t even know how much I needed him! It’s been difficult to care for him, as I have health issues & can’t keep up with life as it is! But SO worth it. I’ve never been loved by anyone in my life as much as by this dog! He just has an endless supply of love to give (to me- not so much to the mailman or neighbors- because he’s “protecting” me, lol.) So, as I knew, the son moved out & started his own life- and the dog stayed with me. But I’m so glad he did. Some things are meant to be, even when they don’t seem so at first! After the last few years, I think I love animals more than most humans, anyway. Haha.
This is an interesting theory. Every morning when I get up, my bedroom mirror says “Why are you so fat?”. I could go on a diet but I decided to get rid of the mirror instead 🤔
So me
yess🔥
😂😂😂😇😂😂😂
From Lockdown Brighton 🌈 UK
take care & be well y'all!
🙏🌹🙏🏽
Wise choice - I was intending to buy a full-length mirror, but now I'm rethinking it haha
😄😄😄
I feel this every day. So many messages it actually stops me doing anything because I can’t decide which to do first. Plus I’m a bit of a hoarder. So much guilt from money spent on things I can’t do waste, don’t like throwing things out, environmentally I can’t do it - guilt again. We’re still in lockdown in Scotland so I can’t even hand it to the charity shops. Garden shouting ‘tidy me’ , clothes ‘wash or iron me’, dogs ‘walk me!’ It’s all pretty draining!
totally understand.
See if you can sell them or give them away for free! I have been chipping away at my pile slowly, but surely. Initially I was hung up on order, priority etc, but I realised it didn't matter where I started as long as I started. You got this!
i do the living things first. theyre my priority. (probably why my spare rooms are chockablock full of clutter)
i cater to the needs of the dogs, the horse, water the trees and the veges. if theres anything left i'll feed and water the husband. sometimes thats all ive got in me that day. then i need to put my head down on my pillow and close my eyes and rest.
Thank you - The Silent List is why I suddenly feel the need to have to go out late afternoon - Often resulting in retail therapy in the past (sometimes still in the present!). I will keep going with my decluttering - It’s taking longer than I thought! Thank you 🙏 for your help - You are really making a difference to my mental well being ❤️
If you practise meditation you begin to realise that every time your eye falls on something a thought automatically pops into your head about it. Eg “that lamp doesn’t look quite right there” or “I should put that upstairs” or “it was so nice of Amy to give me that” One principle in meditation is the “emptiness”of things. That is, when you practise a lot, you realise the objects don’t have these meanings in themselves, they are empty. It is our thoughts that give them those meanings, and the idea of meditation is to let the meanings go and not ‘believe’ them!
Yes, exactly 🙏🏻🕉
I love your videos!! My house is SO minimalised now and my husband mention recently that he "actually wants to be home". You know how messy and stressful it can be with having multiple kids in a small home lol Thank you for your encouraging videos!! God bless!
Wow, that is huge! Makes me happy and is inspiring, too. Great job!!
It’s ironic that in our first house, a small three bedroom one bath house, I did not I have a problem with clutter. Even after my two sons were born, I was able to keep a handle on our storage space which was very limited. It wasn’t until we moved into a four bedroom two bath house that we started to accumulate more and more stuff. 22 Years later, our attic is filled to capacity, our garage is cluttered and most of our closets are messy and filled to capacity. 😮🥱
That's awesome! Is there one behavior or change that you did that you felt was the biggest/most helpful in getting you from the before to having a home you actually want to be home in? I'd love to hear more about your journey.
@@massages_for_world_peace8909 Honestly it was more just me stopping being lazy and making more of my time. I couldn't just sit on the couch or zone out on my phone for hours a day otherwise I wouldn't feel accomplished for the day so that was motivating for me. Or I would say get one room done or at least the dishes in the sink before I could sit down. I found it calming and it really helped with my stress levels to finally be on top of my house work. So I just went one room at a time. It's taken months to get the entire house done and there is still some more to be done but once you dive in it really does get easier. It's all about getting over the laziness hurdle for me lol.
@@me.6917 that makes so much sense! That laziness hurdle is real!! I like the approach of just getting started, just get SOMETHING done. Plus it feels so good to wake up the next day and look at what you accomplished and using that to motivate that day. I remember one time I had just finished decluttering and cleaning a room and it felt so good I swear I stood there soaking it in with my eyes for like an hour!! Lol. I’m excited to go around the rooms and lessen my mental to-do list!
I stumbled across your channel while recovering from a broken leg and, boy, am I glad I did. It took me a year before all of your advice began to sink in and I actually started to declutter. I divorced my husband over 30 years ago and took all of my precious things, i.e. "the good china", sentimental items, photos and photo albums, huge furniture, etc. Then many years later, I decided to move to Colorado and, again, took everything this time paying a moving company to bring those items I just couldn't part with. Once in Colorado, I put most of it in storage for 6.5 years, then moved again and took it out of storage. How many times have I used the 20+ wine glasses? How many times have I used my beautiful and expensive china? Counting on the fingers of one hand I still have fingers left over.
This whole video makes so much sense! My whole house is full of stuff that sending me negative messages. "Why haven't you put me away?" "Why do you still have all this paper?" "why did you allow this to come in to my house?" "why do you have kids clothes when your kids are grown and gone?" It's paralyzing on where to get started. I guess I need to just start in one place and decide if I want to keep these items. Just one little corner to clean up.
Check out Josh Becker. He has a bunch of videos on where to start etc. My favorite is the 1 min rule. Immediately do the thing that takes one min or less. Like you snack then wash the bowl right away. Done
Great concept. I'm working on that one now.
What feeling or thought did you run away from just before x ? If it is too hard to deal with get help from a friend or really hard: from a therapist. I have to do a lot of simple things before I get to the trouble-maker issue.
I think I just had an anxiety attack while listening 😬. All the stuff in my house has been screaming at me!!! 😱
Oh Dawn, you have helped me so much. My Mom recently passed away and I miss her dearly. I'm in the process of going through her house. She saved everything and, thus, she thought I should be saving things too. I feel like your wisdom has given me the freedom to let go of my "stuff". Thank you. 😊❤️
Of all of the wonderful messages and tips you've shared THIS one hit home for me the most so far. Oh my gosh this is spot ON why I am so stressed out all the time. Both of my husbands parents have passed away and somehow it fell on us to take on alot of the "sentimental" items and sort through and "curate" old family photos. It's almost like some of this stuff is sacred, which I sort of understand because on my side of the family I had a family member steamroll into another deceased family members' home and dismantled his workbench and try to donate alot of his stuff and I took a bunch of it myself and then when I realized I didn't have room for alot of it I had to say out loud to myself, "I'm not throwing HIM away. He is NOT his stuff." My hubby is able to just ignore the clutter but I see every single item and it's driving me insane...and now I know that it's because I feel like it's my responsibility to organize the house and make it look nice. Dear Hubby isn't gonna do it. LOL. And you know what? I think that I somehow I think it's my responsibility to take care of all of this stuff, but if no one else thinks it's important enough for them to step up, why am I knocking myself out and making myself miserable over it? Maybe we have different standards and instead of them imposing on me to "curate" memory items maybe I'm actually imposing on them a standard that is important only to me. I mean, if it was really important to them, wouldn't they do more? Wow. I never looked at it like that before. I suddenly feel less put upon seeing it from that other angle. I've slowly been offering things to family members, telling them I'm going to donate this or that and I've had a surprising number of people speak up to take things, maybe I'll step up those efforts and get my living room back for Christmas. God bless you and your family! TFS!
this resonates with me and i think my day will be a lot different as i look around and realize what things are weighing me down on that silent to do list. when we moved into this house (much much bigger than our old house) i felt so free and it was because it was a lot emptier. 15 years later it is not so empty and i feel weighed down by all of the work
This explains why I won’t put anything under my bed and why I can’t have stuff on my dresser. It’s all talking when I need to rest. So interesting.
Wow! Just WOW!
My junk has been hollering at me for years! I just recently said that I get so tired thinking of what needs to be done that I don't have the energy to do it. This is spot on!
Love the inspirational messages you get from your flowers! I hate getting flowers because it makes me think “these are going to die and I’m going to have to deal with them and I’ll feel guilt because they’re dead because they’ve been cut for my table whereas they could have lived on their vine for longer”. I hope I didn’t just ruin flowers for you. I just found our thought process differences to be comical!
"I enjoy maintaining it, " hit a cord with me. As I'm watching this video and applying your thoughts to my current project situation, I am realizing that once I get my late mother's genealogy and family photo collection organized, I am going to ENJOY MAINTAINING IT. Right now, -well for the past few years- the project weighed heavily upon me, but this weight is just temporary. I will not always feel like this. And when I am done, it will be beautiful and peaceful, knowing that I have over one hundred years worth of family preserved and cherished.
I love history. I strongly encourage you to bring it in our of the dark. There is a thing called Family Search. You put the history on it. You tie into others who love history and family. It is awesome. Wild to see how hugh human life is and at the same time so personal. Just sharing. It has and continues to bring me joy.
Watched 5 minutes, then spent 3 hours maybe more going through my stuff! I’ve held onto clothes that doesn’t fit me because of how much it cost and hopes to fit it again. It’s gone! This made so much sense!!! Thank you!
The longer you wait, the older you get, the heavier the load of these things. Blessings on you. I am still young enough in heart to get myself busier at this 'life clearing'.
This video helped me understand why I felt like all the stuff around the house was stressing me out and not my other family members. It all feels like it's on my to-do list! Now when I look at a cluttered space I pick out the "loudest" items first to clean up.... Or just donate them! I periodically watch this video to help remind me why I'm on this minimizing journey!
I moved and downsized and had many things I needed to go through and get rid of. I was also going through depression which added to the procrastination and overwhelming feeling of completing my to-do lists.
I found something very helpful. Instead of to-do lists, I started doing have-done lists. I knew what needed to be done, so instead of listing those things I started listing things I finished doing. It gave me a good feeling that I actually started to accomplish things more frequently. It was more like "oh I got that much done, let's see what else I can get done" instead of "oh I still have all that to do".
It was a period of time that I did the most decluttering ever in a shorter timeframe.
Big inventory means noise.
Clutter means noise.
It's a noisy world.
The silent to do list...girl you got my attention!!! LOL
Hi Mrs Heart!
Wow! Great concept since with my hoarding disorder!! Everything (stuff) is emotional and everything is talking to me!! Lol P.S. Can my skinny clothes tell the chocolate to just jump in to the trash already 😅😅
@@ishadalal9034 hello my sweet friend!! How are you today 🦄🌟💜
My family thinks im mad for decluttering over 40% of my stuff. But the freedom created by 40% less negative secret massages. Is mindblowing. Loving both your channels!!!!!!
I love her energy. You can tell she's excited about this idea :)
This resonated with me. I go through an emotional cycle every time i try to get rid of stuff or throw things away and that comes from a "lack mindset" which was a taught behavior from childhood that was reinforced by living under the poverty line as a young adult. It's the fear of having "nothing" again that keeps me tied to things, but they became a burden instead of a blessing. So yeah, they became invisible to-do because they were always there taunting me that I had some decluttering of my mind I needed to do first. I'm convinced that our external surroundings are an extention of what's going on internally. This video was really helpful!
Hi Dawn, that’s so true!! Clutter and undone chores do speak to us 🙈
I love that "invisible to do list"-it really resonates with me. I just moved 2 months ago from 3 bedroom/2 bath home to a 1 bed/1bath apt. As a single person with several chronic illnesses this has been a huge change!! It was really hard for me to stay home "to rest" when I looked around at all that needed done.
As women, we need to be kinder to ourselves. I’m told this is called self care. That was an unfamiliar concept to me until I heard someone use that expression about five years ago. My initial reaction was shock. Who has the time to pamper themselves?! Not me!
I’m good at giving self-care advice to other women. I’m not good about applying it to my own life. Please be kind to yourself and you’ll surely feel better. Good luck in your self-care journey!
@@nancyellen8006 Thank you! Please take care of yourself!
Same with me. Simplified and loving it. Take care.
This is exactly why I feel like I am going crazy in my house because my husband is a huge pack rat almost hoarder and never lets me get rid of hardly anything.
I just found you! You are treasure. I will start listening to your videos on our TV as I clean the house... hoping my husband listens and is persuaded by your wisdom 😁
Nice to know we are in this together. My husband love yard sales and brings stuff home
This is a problem I can relate to as well... Drives me nuts
Wow! I'm in process of a huge declutter the whole house job and I'm just wondering here... I have an almost 15 year old daughter who has ADHD and talks almost non-stop. Sometimes it REALLY sets me off because I enjoy peace and quiet. Now I look around and see so MANY THINGS just taunting and beckoning me to get up and take care of them. Maybe I would have more patience with my ADHD daughter once this mountain of TO DO tasks is flattened...? 🤔 I have been working for 3 weeks now and have moved SO MUCH junk out if the house, but yet it still has so far to go. 😥
Having lost a husband and a sister to cancer, there are some pieces that I keep because they bring me good memories and take me to good places, but I refuse to keep things that are just objects that belonged to them, but have no memories of being with them for me. Keeping stuff just because it was theirs isn't positive for me, so I either pass it on to another family member or sell it to someone who will cherish as much as they did. I'm a beginner at this decluttering/minimalism thing, but I'm hoping to grow into it. I enjoy your videos!
That's such a good distinction. I have family members who keep every single thing that belonged to loved ones who have passed, seriously stressing over how they're going to fit it in their own homes. One in particular keeps things even when they're broken beyond repair just because it belonged to a loved one. I've learned by watching her stress level and now only keep things that are really positive, lovely, and functional. I actually have quite a few heirloom pieces, but I use each of them almost daily, they're lovely to look at, and they help me feel connected to the person I miss so much.
Carrie I think those are wise words. May the Lord comfort you as you grieve the passing of your husband and sister. Dawn & Diane are truly encouraging and well worth following.
My mother and sister were “ hoarders”...so they in their twisted way assigned importance to the most nonsensical things... way stressful to even step foot in their houses!! This makes great sense to me as far as the message all those objects were hollering loud and clear!!
Love this video!!
Your treasured pieces will shine when they don’t have to share the shelf with other stuff! Hug’s 🥰
Carrie, you need to be proud of yourself. I had a hard time.
This reminds of the dirty car that literally says “wash me” because someone wrote it on its dirty surface. Lol
So true 😂
I thought that only happens where I live haha, 😂
Exactly
That message stayed on my car for month's
So many times you see an article/video that touts "life changing." This is one of those rare things that actually is! Thank you so much for this, Dawn!
I'm mad I waited two weeks to watch this, I feel a sense of relief just hearing this! 😭
The silent to do list and how it impacts our mood is so true! I clean and purge when I am overwhelmed and stressed. The silent callings from the things around me at that moment become to much.
I'm not sure if you have covered this before but I would love a video of tips on how to keep a cozy home when it is minimalistic.
So true! Every time I walk into a hotel room or vacation house I feel peace because I have left all that noisy stuff behind. My goal is to feel that way in my own home. Thank you!
I have a 5 drawer tall dresser. it WAS full of old clothes I have had for 23 years, before I even got married. Yep that dresser spoke to me every time I walked past it. After watching this video, I walked straight to it and emptied it all into boxes for the "Army". I've decided to start talking back to those items until they are gone from my house. I'll bet you can imagine what I said back to them! THANKS!
That bit about feeling guilt when we look at certain things is spot on. It seems like a good sign to either use something or get rid of it- but either way, that something needs to be done differently.
Oh my gosh this is so true! I've felt like my whole house is constantly screaming at me for months now. Thank you, Dawn, for putting your finger on exactly what is going on! So eye opening!
Our stuff and home have been screaming so much negativity at me the last couple years. This videos explains so much.
I love that you mentioned but I spent money on said item argument. That always creeps in on me too. In my head I hear my sisters voice saying "that money doesn't even remember you anymore and it is gone so don't feel bad about that impulse purchase!! "That usually shuts up that inner voice. I'm loving your videos. Thank you for your inspiration.
🤯 So true! (You had me at plants that need water, lol)This is totally what's going on in my head! Some days the messages don't bother me - more of a positive "yeah! I'll get to that!" But some days it all comes crashing in and I want to scream at the pressure and guilt. Things that have spilled out of place AGAIN, the stack of art/how to books that have potential but nobody uses. The feelings of failure as I try to enjoy my home... you're winning me over, bit by bit. ♡
This is EXACTLY what I've been trying to communicate to my husband for almost 2 years now. Perfectly said.
I don’t think they can wrap their minds around it.
Yeah I don't think so either. I've pretty much given up trying. It's usually the person who DOESN'T have to manage the stuff that fights trying to manage less. Because either way it's ultimately not a burden they will directly bear but one they will complain about.
“Like, are you new here?!” 🤣🤣🤣 I completely agree with this and I know it extends past our house if we have things stored elsewhere. I have to think about cleaning out my mom’s house, her two storage units, my storage shed… Every drawer screams at me, “You haven’t opened me in years!” I keep shouting back “I’m getting to you! Hang on!” 😂❤️
I used to camp out at Big Bend every year, for a week at a time. Beautiful!
My favorite part is when Dawn says laughingly, "I actually bought these cuz I just needed some flowers- OKAY" and then proceeds quickly with the example LOL
I have actually said, "everywhere I look in my house I see things I have to do!" 🙄
What a wonderful way of articulating the idea. I am one of your woman of a certain age watchers and while my kids are grown, I still get ideas from you. One thing I have noticed since we are staying home, I leave things out that spark wonderful memories. They may not go with the decor, but when I look at them I am happy. Thank you for explaining things so succinctly and in an easy to understand fashion.
Wow, this is it for me. I struggle with a lot of guilt and this has been one challenge that I still struggle with…I think this is why. I feel so much better in an uncluttered space. I think I saw this for a reason today. Thank you, Dawn.
'Visual noise' is the best description I've heard of clutter - as you say, everything has a voice in your head, asking, telling, guilt-tripping or 'sparking joy'!