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Absolutely Thanks for sharing! I'm so happy you get it and to know that the ones that get it and who've experienced this know it's a thing! In my thirties now, I'm determined to rewrite this program. To everyone reading this, we have the power to shape our futures differently. We don't have to be bound by this program we were given. We've got this! ❤❤❤ Thanks for the comment!
Yup. My dad had a "we're poor" mentality. I realized it when I was young and made sure not to adopt that mindset. He had great opportunities to grow financially but never did because of his mindset. I knew early on that poverty is a curse. Where the mind goes, the man follows. Fill your mind with edifying and encouraging thoughts to build yourself up. Don't rely on anyone else to do it for you. What's in you will flow out of you.
So true I watch my mother and she always needs a person (pet) to be with her to validate her crown of narcissism and she always preach the Bible but then does hypocritical shii like now all of sudden she is lesbian …..
Thank you for sharing mines two and half years! so I totally understand your feeling it's defo the hardest thing but also waking up in peace everyday is something I'm equally grateful for ❤
I just started leaving my family alone, It has been a month now and it feels so good, stress relieving. I sat and cried 😢 I should have done this a long time ago. But then I smiled and laughed to myself all I can say now Is thank GOD! 🙏🏿😁🙆🏿🧖🏿
@thenanajourney Great Topic and I Pray 🙏 The Most High release you of anything connected on either side of your family. If you believe in thr Most High 👉FAST👈 & Pray 🙏
@@thenanajourney I am from the UK and had a very long history with controlling and manipulative parents too, do you think the culture in England has an enabling effect with parents who behave like that, I remember growing up constantly hearing to be grateful for being sent to bed hungry and being told to say thank you for stuff I didn’t ask for and didn’t want, any work that I did I was told off for any sense of pride I would show and was constantly reminded to be grateful to just be alive (as if simply dying was a reasonable alternative expectation in different circumstances) and to constantly express embarrassment at expressing any of my personal needs or feelings. I think one of the most clear examples of this is needing to telephone my parents to ask them to sign a consent form for surgery on my left arm which I had injured in some really reckless horsing around in break time at school, and hearing from my mum that “why would she need to physically see me that’s my problem” I think I had just turned 16 and the surgeon was telling me that if the damage was bad enough he would need to amputate my forearm, my mum said Cooley and calmly “oh well don’t miss any school straight back when it’s done!” She and my father were both lawyers, she specialized in child protection and advocacy for young people in care. Which I find completely amazing to this day. I have lived in Central Europe now for closing in on a decade and have a kind of comparative experience as a result, i honestly think the Uk is somewhat prone to this kind of situation, because of a constant emphasis on toleration and compromise to the extreme (in some cases) of punishing any sense of self esteem or personal boundaries, in a way that is perhaps different in other cultures. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts and opinions.
@@beyondallreason-du4pq So if you read what I wrote I deliberately stayed away from using a loaded term like narcissism I am not a clinical psychologist and even in that context ethics would dissuade diagnosing direct relatives and family members after all, and instead decided to characterize my opinions in more broad and superficial terms like controlling and manipulative. Which to me is a completely reasonable characterization, obviously I was somewhat selective I didn’t want to write down a whole life history in a UA-cam comment,
And those selfish and abusivly entitled people will miss such a kind and selfless soul like you. They've been knocking on my door everyday as of late ever since as the world seems to be spiralling out of control lol. Character truly stands the test of time.
Narcissistic parents are losers ,and wants everyone to be as miserable and loser as they are, my father is a narcissist ,I agree with everything u said cause it’s true from my experience, they are like liches sucks the life out of everything around them without any regret, my father stopped me from doing any thing, from traveling to work a certain jobs he even wanted me to marry people he choses but I didn’t fall for any of his controlling methods, I’m a free spirit and I will be free till I breath my last breath.
I even wrote a short story about my mum and my brother called The Parasites. The same year I moved out at age 21. That's exactly what narcissists are Parasites.
The flipside is young people who leave home very early because of abuse/ neglect and the parent/s never helps them financially or physically .. they're just left to fend for themselves and never have a proper springboard to launch from...which can have a terrible flow on effect for years to come..the same type of failure to thrive
I’m 38 and still trying to catch up! I couldn’t afford to live by myself at 16 and I feel like I’ve been chasing my tail ever since . I wish I could have stayed at home,gone to university and built up some savings but all my earnings went of bills and food ( and didn’t even have enough for them as a kid) I’ve encouraged my kids to stay at home for as long as they like, bank their earnings whilst in college / uni then they can have a nice deposit for a house in a few years
You are gorgeous. I escaped at 29. Our lives are not delayed. We broke a very strong generational curse. Everything we endured was so the next generation can thrive. Your blessings will come. Never forget God sends his strongest warriors to fight these battles. It takes a lot of mental strength to endure what you have.
@user-ii7gy1rw5w I disagree. There is no blaming your parents once you hit the age of 18. It is up to us as adults to heal and move forward in life. You can however hold your parents accountable for their actions. They may have not known better...to be a parent means to have an understanding that your kids will remember every action and reaction as well as your words. We are not blaming our parents we are simply saying a piece of our childhood was destroyed and every adult has a duty to fix our inner child while still having compassion for their parents. It again is called accountability and empathy something this world lacks.
She is absolutely right! I realized all these she is saying at 28. Left in silence and went from $60k to six figures in 2 years! DO NOT EXTEND YOUR DELAY!
I'm 49 yrs old and recently went no contact with my entire family.. My mother controlled every aspect of my life!! My heart hurts knowing I missed out on so much of my life. I'm traumatized, but on the healing journey without the toxicity. No one would ever understand the depth of narcissistic abuse unless they've been through it! Thank you for sharing with us! All the best on your healing journey!! xoxo
Thank you for sharing your story because I also have no contact, so I totally understand and relate to this. I often wonder if with age they will become better, but from my research and hearing the journeys from people older than me, it never changes! I am so happy you got out of there, and I know it can feel isolating and lonely. Just know your healing and peace will outweigh that. I am sending you love too on your healing journey, and we are here together as a community so you're never alone. ❤❤
I have noticed when you do something nice for yourself or buy something for yourself usually something inexpensive because you’ve been trained over the years to think less. The narcissist parent will make negative comments every Single time on the nice that you do for yourself they will claim you spend to much money, make you feel guilty say things like I would have loved something like this for myself; even though it may be out of their range of style etc. It’s never ‘you deserve to treat yourself’ or ‘this suits you’ never a look of joy always frustration in regards to anything you do out of their say so. No one should make you feel sad and doubt yourself all the time that’s disturbingly psychological abuse.
True. . . Step dad did that to me at 17. He Gave my brother everything & when i bought something nice for myself he was talking about how he needed money
Oh I love this comment! Yeah, my mom used to make me feel bad for doing good things for myself also.. She used to always catch attitude when I went to the health food store or stayed at the gym “too long” … Wet wipes have been really popular over the last 20 or so years… she saw me using them to wipe off the counter top, and almost blew a gasket because “they’re too expensive to wipe things with…”. Lawwwwwd !!! I’m low contact with her, but her behavior has left a residue of unwarranted guilt over me doing good things for myself ~
@@Brandy3319 Smh, mother’s are suppose to encourage their children to be the best versions of themselves. What you are doing is very positive; Keep being you and never let Anyone make you feel down or anxious about yourself, they don’t have the right too.
My parent did the exact thing. They suggested money making situation that financially handicapped me. Put me in a serious bind.i finally got on course around 40yrs of age. You can do it kid!!
Thank you for sharing and for such an uplifting message and glad you have managed to get on track! proud of you for that and this will be encouraging to others there is light and the end of the tunnel.
My dad kept pushing “business” ideas on me and a couple times I almost took the bait. All those fake ideas and he only ever worked a part time job while having a wife and two kids at home. He used to borrow money from me from my little summer jobs…. I think that’s why I didn’t take the bait
I am 42. I had a bipolar and narcissistic mother. She passed away down her bipolar while holding me back. I went back to school at 38 to gain financial stability and to learn more about my condition by studying psychology. You are definitely not alone. Thank you for sharing
i am so proud of you. i feel so "late" because im 33 and nearly ruined my own financial life bc of the things ingrained in me on purpose by my mom. now Im back in colllege and trying to tell myself im not too late, i still have a chance to change my future.
You’re not alone. I didn’t even realize that I had been abused in this way until I started the healing process at 35 and looked back and saw that my mother would still use me and take from me when I had nothing..even when I became homeless
I’m 40 and not financially stable my mother was not nice at times. She talked down on me and it killed my confidence and self worth. I’ve been wanting to be a nurse for years but never tried because I always thought I didn’t deserve it. Yesterday I went to a college to start the process. I got lost a few times and said to myself I have no business here but I changed my mind and I got to the right place.
You can do anything you put your mind to huney, you’re capable, you’re strong, you’re good enough, you belong. Think about all the things you’ve overcame thus far. You can do it ! ;)
Yes mommy wants to always be the hero to step in andd save the day that’s how she feels love by feeling “needed” but it reality that doesn’t make her feel loved she just loves being in control…. She will never want you to have your own money or more money than her, they will intentionally watch and help you fall on your face so you’re scared of the world and don’t leave mommy’s money and side, so you stay attached to mommy all of her life while never building your own, or mommy ever helping you build your own money and/or success….. Did I miss anything?????
thats my dad! He physically stopped me from leaving the house anytime I would want to. All i did was endure 24/7 abuse at home with no hope of escaping, ignoring, and i was was certainly not allowed to cope with it in any way. may we all breathe the sweet air of freedom.
My mother would say she is struggling financially and then suddenly say she never said that ….. making me so confused and she would kick me out at my lowest to be with men that I didn’t know, she would be happy if I sleep for money rather than have a successful life that she never taught me about or even encourage … she was such a bully to me body shaming me, calling cops ion me every second if I was quiet , she would trap me in the house and if I go out to hang out (mind you I only went out twice a year or never) she would text me long paragraphs saying I need to pay for her bills and all sorts. Then she would say she never said that … she a full narc
@@TheIkeman74 wallowing?? No sir we recognized the ABUSE we went through and have picked ourselves up and sharing our stories we didnt know others went through! You must be a full blown raging narc!
Financial abuse is a real thing and lack of boundaries only helps our narcissistic parents keep us in limbo and from developing as independent people are supposed to do, it’s hard de to all the guilt tripping and manipulation
Thank you for sharing! Breaking free from the guilt trip and manipulation cycle can is so hard, but with knowledge and awareness, we can break the circle it step by step. Everything you said is right unfortunately.
@@autobotdiva9268 that’s usually the case with anything wether it be financially, intellect, or good looks-no one can be better than them so they have to tear down others, that’s how fragile their ego and false self is.
Also a bad sign is them completely ruining your credit score and putting bills in your name taking out direct debits in your name and by the time you realise it takes forever to fix it
This right here! And if the golden child longs for a relationship that never was with another parent, they will further try to suppress your wants, feelings, needs and past experiences.
Unfortunately, I was the golden child all my life, I was straight-A student and bred to be rich so that I can one day pay my parent's lifestyle. But I fell into depresssion, only to find out my parent's didn't give a shit about me. They used me up for my money and thus, I never became financially stable. The golden child is usually 1000% manipulated more than the scapegoat. Feel blessed that you are a scapegoat and they can leave you alone. The golden child is 1000% controlled, until we aren't.
I’m in tears right now. I’m really emotional and trying to watch this video but I’m triggered. I am 34 years old and I have no job and I live with my mom. I had a job in the past and I was making 15 dollars an hour for 12 hours a day. I had a easy position but at the time standing in one spot constantly throughout the whole shift and dealing with jealous toxic people was super draining. And dealing with my jealous narcissistic mother and sisters didn’t make my life any better. My job drained my energy and my mom and sisters drained my energy and my pockets and they were rude and disrespectful to me so I had to quit my job and now I have nothing. I’m scared to get another job because I’m afraid that my family is going to be jealous and try to drive me crazy once again.
Girl I am in the same position as you. Mine doesn't want me to succeed in any way, shape or form ( doesn't even want me to have a man or a job)but still want me to loan her money and make me feel responsable for her financial issues
My mother doesn’t even realize I’m a grown adult at 28 ….. like she just has this set mine of that I will never be successful and her peasant that she can bully mentally because she is so insecure. My whole family is narcissists and I’m the one who has to be the parent teach what is right from wrong to grown adults… only child too smh this life is crazy
Which one do you want most? To stay afraid or gain your strength? Go for what you want give it all you got. And fiercfully be selfish about your needs. That's your way out. Don't waste your life in fear ❤🙏🏽
Sis i am in the same seat as you my mom refused to give me a key to our house for years when i pay rent becuse she knew i would come and go as i please her reason was screaming at me that i lost plenty of keys when actually it was my sister that lost alot of keys that my mom gave to her when she dosent ewen live whit us anyways i had enouff and was gonna move out then al of a sudden i got a key you know what my trick is i am saving money in secret i refuse being at home as mutch as posible i use it as a place to sleep and shower thats al it is if i stay in that house i will go mad and get brainwashed you dont tell them about work at al you just go out and come back home saying you were out whit friends al day or you say you were looking for work al day and when you finally have found a stable ground you move out and tell them youre moving the day youre gonna move so you dont have to hear their mental abuse you dont have to post on facebook about work you dont have to tell youre friends about work keep it to yourself have youre work uniform under youre pillow wile sleeping and so on and when youre stable get out as fast as you can and pray to God and Jesus to keep you sane and strong and pray for a better future and allways wait for the mail we bouth know they dont respect privacy.
Narcissistic parents and family really screwup the potential for success for us empaths. My mom finally admitted to me as an adult that I was a beautiful baby so she felt it was necessary for her to knock me down and keep me humble so I would not turn out to think I was better than everyone. So she had to show me I wasn’t all that. I liked dolls and one year for Christmas she gave me a beautiful doll that she took upon herself to burn half of its face before wrapping it up as a gift for me. Soo never thought I was smart enough or good enough to do what I wanted to do and succeed. I wish I learned earlier in life that I was being abused and that it wasn’t me it was them all along.
One key element of narcissism is we tend to inherit what is NOT ours. Truth is you're free as a bird, and like you said we have to rewire ourselves to give to ourselves. Return to sender, it's ALL about ENERGY. You deserve it., and you have plenty of time..
Yes! Healthy parents want their children to exceed their own achievements in every area. It's "the love of money" not money in and of itself that is evil, it can be a great tool to help ourselves so we are not dependent and then help others from the overflow. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed 🙏🏻✨️❤️🕊🇬🇧
my mom put down going to college so bad. My dad went to college she didn't. after I graduated she kept saying it was a big expensive waste of time. I finally realized she was trying to lower my confidence. the negative talk made me cringe. I made more boundaries since then.
@acestarone she put going to college down because she didn't want you to be financially free. You going anyway shows how strong & Powerful you are. 👏🏽 Definitely have healthy boundaries with people who are not supporting the best for you!!! GOOD JOB SIS 💖
I know it’s hard but you have to get out. Save your money and GO as soon as possible! The energy of the home is sucking out your life. Since moving with my mom, my income dropped drastically, and it’s like quicksand trying to get out.
The dark side for those going through it is losing trust in people. Anyone using truth or honesty against you is sick and harmful. It’s hard listening to this. So much is felt.
I feel bad for my brothers. One of them is a broker and he doesn’t leave the house the other manages a department and they both live at home. I moved out and she talks really bad about me….. she calls me a failure mom and that I need her. I told my partner it’s making me want to move states so she can’t tell anyone anything. She lies and lies and lies. I have BPD due to the horrible treatment as a child. She took a lot from us. I tell my son I was invited to the White House at 12 and nasa camp at 16 and my mom said NO…. My dreams were crushed time and time again. I work with inmates (I love it) but i wanted to be a pilot or something with math involved ☹️😞 I tell my son to dream big and I pay everything for him and I expect 0 in return. That’s my son and his happiness not mine . I wish someone believed in me as a kid 😞
I went through a similar thing. I was an innocent and giving child and ambitious and I wanted to achieve many big dreams and always got a no and had to stuff it. I am doing it for myself now. I don't need them. I can do it.
You’re so pretty wooow 35! You look 25. Having narcissistic parents or family members is very traumatic. They make you self abandon to support them. My Aunt swears the the most empathetic person on earth but is plain horrible. She sometimes just tries to test test our kindness and humility, so I (speaking for myself) would try to prove my kindness and humility. She would say “humility doesn’t kill”. Sometimes you might just start out trying to be good to them but they continuously drain you.
I remember in ELEMENTARY school my dad made comments about how I was going to be taking care of my parents when I was grown. I recall laughing because we were living in such deep poverty…. I couldn’t even imagine giving back to capable adults who knowingly let me go hungry. Sure enough when I got back from college (within the first month) they were screaming me down about paying them “rent” before I even had a job or car. The rent they wanted was for me to pay half their mortgage. I committed myself to getting my car and getting a place…. When they knew I was saving for my deposit they started to get pissed and panicked. I heard things like I would never make it out in the world on my own and that I could never afford anything… Once I got out I never went back. I’ve now had to flee an abusive narc relationship and move across country….. and have cut off my parents. So many of us have such similar stories. I’m close to 30 and not financially stable but I’m free. I was financially abused for years in my 20s and I lost my way. I’m trying to learn how to be a stable adult now :(
@Blurredlines92He rescues people, that's what he does. However, it also requires us to make the move! God isn't gonna come down and move your body for you, he will assist in every way but WE have to make the decision to change/leave. Also, stop blaming God for people abusing their free will. The Bible is VERY CLEAR about us not hurting one another but people always do what they want to do. Blame people ..not God...
Your mom is my mom to the tee! I was too honest to my own detriment and I started being secretive and then lying. Now I’m 7 years no contact and this is the first time I have peace in my life. I can say I am now for the first time genuinely happy and am able to relish this period of my life
I started my own business and kept it from my mom. Apparently, she Googles me on a regular because she found updated business info and somehow found her way to my office pretending to look for a space to rent and told the building owner not to tell me that she was there but he told me anyway. lol. I always tell people she is narcissistic but I wasn't sure what that was in reality but now I believe she really is. I pay her rent right now and it is never enough for her even though it sucks my income dry. My sister is already controlled by her and she tries to use money and assets to control me.
@@YagirlM is your mom my mom? She has turned the entire family against me . I visit my older sisters and they all act quiet/weird/uncomfortable around me? One of my sisters is nice to me but as soon as my mother is around she turns into my hater.
I have 2 parents that are narcissists I am 32 and still living at home. The stress has ruined my health and i'm now stuck at home unable to find proper work because of how sick I am. I can't get help from the NHS, government etc. My friends have abandoned me since covid. I am so alone. I really want more friends that understand this situation because they've gone through it too. I'm based in London so I'd love to connect with anyone else in a similar situation. None of my friends understand it. I'm suffering so much.
Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or hospital even few hours google free activities in your city or Facebook group for whatever hobby you lie even tv or cinema it does not have to be big and when that club I'm your city makes palm join them they might help you make friends. Now that the social part is set for work call center for home usually pay decently and does not require you to do much it's usually enough to pay for a room and live alone. Call center are rough mentally but good for the sick or disabled and better then being hopeless at home. If you can move a little apply to a local bakery as a cashier or something or a waiter waitress it's a way to socialize could be part time and helps you gain confidence. I know dishwasher in restaurants are paid well but it's a physical job. Bakery are labor intensive but fin and free food. If you like sports you can apply for a gym part time most of the time they re just there waiting and there to enroll new people. Many ideas
Please commend yourself of your self-awareness and recognition of your journey, which has catapulted you to where you are today. This is already an achievement and you will excel in all that you do now n in your future. Remove yourself from negativity and focus on your goals. Remember your journey has also empowered you n others too. Keep rising n listen to You 🎉
Imagine that. Telling lies being the best thing to do. These demons demand to know every aspect of your life not because they care, only because they want to control you. Either lie to them or don’t answer them. That’s th3 bes5 way to go.
If left home at 18 and now I'm 33. I still struggle every single day financially. When your truly starting from nothing entirely on your own it's nearly impossible to get ahead in this country unless you get lucky.
Totally! I get it. I have two narcissistic parents and my life was undermined at every level. It's crazy but it evil! It's pure evil. I won't water it down. It's evil.
Yup, my mom is a narcissist and ALWAYS takes my belongings and when I do come into money, she always has an excuse to BORROW from me! I am sick of family. Extended family are no better. I cut off everyone.
That was me and I'm now 30 years old woman and I'm left without any positive relationships, money and a poor experience of life I can change this but this is what they have done. They did not allow or think of me in my finances, or my my mind and spirit. They took rent money, money for their own needs but did not think of my needs. They put me in this situation from when I was a child. You have all the correct points
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's great to hear that you resonate with the points in the video. You're absolutely correct that change is possible, even if it feels like we're playing catch-up. I've learned to refrain from comparing myself to those who haven't experienced the same environment. Instead, I focus on celebrating small wins, knowing that they will eventually add up to significant progress. Maintaining a positive mindset is a victory in itself, especially when narcissistic parents have tried to undermine our hope. youu're never alone in your journey!❤
Mine was a little different, my parents didn’t ask me for money but it was because they were trying to delay my independence so that way I don’t leave the house. I feel for you so strongly. I am glad I found your channel. I am 32 and still financially fluctuating in life almost couldn’t pay my rent last month but I am learning. Still trying to find myself , learn about the world while all trying to pay bills because I got robbed of that when I was little. They even tried to stop me from graduating highschool which I didn’t finish. But I am now opening up a business working with children and educating them on healthy boundaries, etc. I’m glad I’m not alone in this and I realize others have gone through this journey
Thing is, parents have to pour into their children and prepare them for adulthood. Most parents only think “child” instead of adult. If you can’t get your child some type of financial springboard, at least give them the formulas to be financially right. Not everyone wants to be an employee, some want their own business, some want to profit off of their talent in whatever, etc. These are things that need to be discussed with children at middle school or before. If a parent doesn’t poor into their child, why expect your struggling child to poor into you when they are trying to figure out what they wasn’t told?
Yup, they can't keep it in their pants years ago, Force you into a World where Crazy Old Rich People have their finger on the button holding the world hostage if they lose their "control". Yup you owe them.
You are going to make it ! You have a strength in you , your young you are aware , you are going to rise and shine , your beautiful, thank you for sharing the truth
💯💯💯💯 Absolutely true!!!! August 10, 2023 I secretly packed my kids and I clothes up and left!!! We’re now living in an amazing woman and children’s shelter and we’re in COMPLETE peace! I cried listening to this video because it’s so true to the point it hurts! They’re completely money hungry and could care less about your life! I now have over $3,000 saved up for my babies and I…I’ve never in my life had that much money just sitting in my account when I was around my mom! WE WILL OVERCOME THIS it’s hard at first but God is keeping us. Anyone who’s still living in this situation please do everything secretly and leave! If not they will stop you no matter what they have to do. They know we’re much better than them and God has way better for us! I’m 33 years old and I’m just now starting my life…the life God has for me NOT MY NARCISSISTIC MOTHER!!! Thank you God we’re free ❤❤ I’m proud of you as well because you’re helping me and millions more out here that’s been in that vicious cycle. Thank you‼️
Grew up in a similar environment. Parents cut me off financially by the time I turned 12 and I started working at 14. They made me cough up a third of my paycheck every month for just living there. I was the youngest child and the black sheep so I know all about parents sabotaging their children. So glad those days are behind me, my relationship with my mother was just take take, no giving back to me.
My narc mom charged me rent since age 15 even though both parents had Masters Degrees and stable jobs. I got my own job early on so I could have my own spending money. They’d constantly threaten me with homelessness and tell me to hurry and move out even though they financially abused me so I could never save enough $ to get my own apartment knowing how expensive it is to live in NYC even w/ roommates. Finally at age 32 I was able to get someone else’s financial help to move out. 10+ years later and after going no contact I’ll never look back.
Thank you for taking about this. The Financial abuse aspect of growing up with a narcissistic parent is such a traumatizing experience . I come from a low income, narcissistic parent household. I'm 23 and I still live with my narcissistic parent's. I don't have a lot of freedom and living with them is like living in an echo chamber of negativity. The intimidation , gaslighting, invasion of financial privacy, emotional blackmail and pure extortion around money is honestly too much. It's a huge part of how they keep me stuck. Through years of their psychological abuse, I've been conditioned to not have standards, especially when it comes to money. They've tried to condition me into believing that not being financially Independent is normal. There's also soo much jealousy, envy and guilt dispatched whenever I spend money on basic essentials. It's even worse when I express dreams to get a place of my own, travel the world or share any desire to live a better life. I've spent a lot of time unwriring these beliefs and I've learnt the hard way that you can't trust a narcissistic parent with any important information about you. After hearing your story, I'm motivated more than ever to move out soon. I need to prioritize my independence and step out of this situation. Than you for sharing your story and experiencing your vulnerability and authenticity. You will definitely over come this, you are gifted and I believe in you. ❤
I know this may not be possible immediately, but, the faster you get out, the better off you will be. It has to be a complete release. Been there, done that. As long as you are there they control their game. Praying for you.🙏
Thank you so much for your vulnerability. This is a topic rarely spoken of, but it is so critical to one's comeback. You are not alone in this. Our experiences are quite similar. It took me almost four decades to retrace the path that brought me to this place of chronic hardship. Indeed, the trap was set when I was a child. I have since been removed from the will. Pure evil.
Leslie, Thank you for always commenting and supporting these videos as this mean a lot to me! Thank you for sharing your journey and experiences. It's unfortunate that many of us are caught in these financial traps early on, leading to a lifetime of guilt and feeling trapped. But I'm taking each day as it comes, focusing on living positively and finding peace. I believe the rest will fall into place. You've got this! ❤
A family friend told me in private that my mother thought I was HOARDing money aside from her Honestly, under her roof I couldn’t hold a job. I couldn’t accomplish very much and she clearly didn’t speak very highly of me to others. My mother and everyone was surprised when I got a great job and moved out during the pandemic. The only reason why I didn’t stay out on my own as long was because she sabataged opportunities, I lacked support and I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world
@@wendymarshall2132 Thank you!! I got the key for my new place this past Friday. I move out (again) soon. I have no intentional of sharing the address with my mother this time. Success didn't leave me, it's a journey. I'm determined to make the most of my life and I'm making intentional choices to invest and cherish myself despite my background. I'm more than just challenges. 🥰
45 here. Till my 30's was a free slave for the entrie family. Thats what these narcs want a free slave i.e., to work for them, tolerate all that they do, all the gaslighting, rage etc....hurt me real bad financially. How i helaed - Arhat, in Buddhism, a perfected person, one who has gained insight into the true nature of existence and has achieved nirvana (spiritual enlightenment) --- going no contact(no funerals or marriages etc), exercising everyday, meditation, and working and earning, eating food with low glycemic load and index. Become the Arhat.
Thank you for sharing, and you're more than welcome to the Nana Journey community, as it sounds like you're relating to this! You're not alone in this journey, and it will get better. ❤
Sometimes parents with money are the worst - they control you with the idea of having money but give you nothing and put you down for not living a rich life and god forbid you get depressed that sends them in over drive
Ok scrap everyone and focus on you : Your narc parents can only take years from you now !!!! That’s expensive You need to take charge and reinvent yourself …get out of the house !!!! Do something and push yourself forward !!!
Don't be ashamed my sister. I have the same lifestyle and it is depressing at times. You feel trapped and broken many days. But, speak life over yourself. Our mothers need healing. However, we do not owe them their healing. Move on. I am 38 and starting over financially again because just like you my life has been sabotaged and set back by my mother and my absent father. I can also admit that I have had to learn to be financially responsible, because they don't teach us anything about survival outside of them. Our fathers are at fault as well, because even if we couldn't depend on our mothers, we should have been able to depend on one of our parents. They have no control over our lives. Although they love to see us struggle. You will thrive and you will gain financial security. You are not stuck. You are on a journey of healing and that healing will bring you abundance. Pray and seek God. He cares about you. No matter what, do not lose faith. Keep going. You got this.
Nana, I understand completely what you are going through, as both my parents were narcissistic as well. I wasn't taught the importance of saving money because I rarely had any. As a matter of fact, none of my siblings and I have never been financially independent
I’m 38 and have a narcissistic mother, I’m still struggling to be financially stable! She made me homeless multiple times and enjoyed seeing me financially struggle, I believe my mother to be a sociopath…anyway financial abuse is all too real and when it is your own parent it will have you starting a million miles behind our peers! I now don’t worry about being single and I definitely won’t be having children, I also don’t compare myself to others because we haven’t had the same start in life but also for myself I have several disabilities. It is what it is! I try to find joy in things that I like, keep to myself mostly because tbh most people aren’t very pleasant to be around…anyway I have actually rambled! You did not and I really enjoyed your video! I have subscribed and hope to see your space get bigger 🩷 one small small critique is the captions are really distracting for me personally and as long as you enable them from your end, when uploading your videos, people can turn them on/off as they wish. I will be here regardless 🙏🏽✨
So true about the head phones 😂😂😂 listen to anything other than the lies of a narcissist. Their thinking is so warped it's literally pointless in having a conversation with them.
Yes, Yes, Yes... I had to cut the cord at 23 years old. I went through this from 17 years old to 23 years old. I had to finally say NO. I have given you thousands of pounds. I have repaid you for the work you did raising me.
This is why I make videos on healthy ways of parenting because it would break my heart to know I ever did this to my own child. I pray God gives you peace in your heart, and grants you all the success you deserve. So proud of you for breaking free from the mental shackles and helping others who might be in similar positions. The world needs you. 💛
27 years old, not financially stable. My narcissistic mother gained financial control over me by taking me to the welfare office as soon as I turned 18 so I could sign up for benefits. She lied about it being temporary, just until I could find a job, but every time I applied for jobs or told her I had an interview, she would sabotage me and destroy the little confidence I had. As a result, I would come across as nervous and incompetent in all of my job interviews. There was also the glaring fact that I had never had a job, so I had nothing to put down on my resume. I couldn't drive either, which limited the places I could work (couldn't work too far from the house because I didn't have a car.) My ability to get my driver's license was hampered, since my mother wouldn't take me for driving practice and my father wasn't "allowed" to supervise my driving either. He was also a victim of her abuse. The fact I lived on welfare meant I couldn't afford a driving instructor, so there was no way I could learn to drive. She set it up this way to limit my movements and have greater control over me. It wasn't until I stopped telling my mother I had gotten interviews and started preparing for them in secret that I landed jobs. It turns out that when someone isn't filling your head with the message that you're incapable and untrustworthy, people actually like you! Another way I was kept financially dependent was by not being taught even the basics about money, how to manage expenses etc. Everything I know about money, I taught myself. My narcissistic mother wanted me to live on welfare, not have any ambitions, be unable to drive, or be a functioning adult. The fact I can hold down a job and not spend all of my salary in a week is a fucking miracle, because I shouldn't even be capable of that! I feel like I haven't grown up.
I feel like I'm sedated by a drug. I know it's them controlling me. I have been telling myself to move out for months on end and still haven't moved out. I'm kidding myself at this point. Its also hard when u have mental illness in the way of that. U cant even rely on yourself which is why youre dependent.
I can relate to this dealing with depression passed from my mother. It does feel like a chemical imbalance like you are being drugged . I know this feeling, when I read your post I was like wow so I know I’m not going crazy. I learned that we can actually develop autoimmune disease if you constantly feeling stressed and one is the freeze response which my body does everyday. I try to not watch too many videos on the educational narcissist parents and try to clear my mind as much as I can or silence it because anytime I’m around my mother my brain starts to go crazy thinking and analyzing and remembering what they say PTSD. Make sure you’re eating and taking care of your health 🩷
with mental illness you have to consider things like meditation, going on walks, etc as very important investments, similar to getting a job to save money. its actually survival at that point, you have to start throwing out the garbage they keeping dumping in your brain and its easier to start small. like 5 minutes a day. you sound like you may be dissociated, try to do something that shocks you back into your body
YES! And they will try to STEAL it from you. When I was a teenager, my mother and sister were so jealous they told me every day I was a whore because guys were always asking me out and giving me attention. All I had to do was show up and sit in algebra class. Really I was so insecure and self-critical. Was brainwashed into thinking all men are bad. My (divorced) dad said on a weekend visit that my pink nail polish "You look like a prostitute"). Such awful, envious people.
I guess he/she refers to physical beauty and how does others envy you and try to destroy you. I have been abused, even beaten by my sister since I was a teenager, also abused by "friends" or coworkers simply by the fact of been a good person and on top of that been thin with a proportionated body. My appearance instead of making me happy, has bring me loneliness, and suffering my whole life. Maybe people can't take beauty from you, but believe me they take away your happiness and health because of the way they hate and treat you.
I'm so, SO sorry hun. The horrible thing is that no one cares or even empathizes because they don't see a severed limb or a busted nose. Stay strong. And yep, keep getting away from those "parents"!
Im also 35. In the process of buying my first house and I feel like my mother is trying to control what I kind of house I buy. She's trying to get me to buy something that she would like cause she thinks she's going to move in with me but she's not. Dealing with her gives me anxiety. I dont want to think about anyone but myself.
I'm so happy and glad to have come across your account (it was the video where you were saying you don't have any women friends). Since then, I've binge watching all your topics esp the ones about narcissistic mothers!! Would you mind if I asked if you have any form of contact with your Mom at all? For example; birthdays or Christmas.
Interesting, I never connected the two, but after you explained it, I agree. Narc parents being TOTALLY selfish will cause a feeling of lack and emptiness in their child and that child will attempt to fill that lack by purchasing too many things and will inevitably go into debt. They will then blame themselves and convince themselves that they are just not good with money or that they just can't make enough money. I went through the same thing for a very long time, 50 years, but I am much better now after And as a psychotherapist, I want to tell you, you can overcome this with some self-work (that you are doing) and time. I too had a narcissistic mother and it is still painful, but somehow I have managed to move forward little by little. I see that you have a big heart for helping others and that you also have a real aptitude for encouraging and counseling people. Btw, you don't have to get an advanced degree in order to counsel others if that's not financially viable for you right now. You can just call yourself a "life coach" (no official credentials necessary) and help others through your youtube channel. There are many successful so-called life coaches on line. You can educate yourself through books and on-line corses. Actually, if I had it to do over again that's what I would do. School is way too expensive today, it takes way too long to get a degree and to get certified. You are intelligent, motivated, and have a very warm and approachable personality and these are the qualities that a "coach/counselor" needs and these will get you far. I would be happy to talk to you personally if you have any questions or need some guidance. I know you will succeed and I wish you much luck on your journey of healing yourself and helping others to heal. This video was very well done, coherent and I'm sure will help may people. Thank you ❤
I also had to pay rent immediately after I turned 18 and all of my savings had to go back to my mother who was charging me for rent. She also wanted me out during Covid and knew I was heading off to college in a few months. It still hurts me to think she doesn’t need to charge as much as she did especially since I worked three jobs just to make it happen. I’m a lot more financially responsible now and am working to get a car to get out of my horrible fathers house and away from all of them
I’m 38 and I’m aware of this programming and trying to get out of it has been challenging for me. when not supported in my environment and having to do my own research it’s discouraging but I’m still pushing through just taking longer. But I do KNOW I will make it! Thanks for this video 💫
My heart and prayers go out to you. I truly understand, I have two narcissistic parents. I am 50 and I am just starting to make steps in the right direction to be more financially stable. There is hope for us.🙌🏾🙏🏾❤️
I think they call it "learned helplessness" . I too have narcissistic mother and narc family. It was very confusing and disorienting. I read about this learned helplessness a scapegoat is taught or propgrammed into sort of speak. good video on this. thank you
im 23, I have Narc Mother throughout my whole life up to covid , Mother manipulated me and still is from basically not liking my dad saying lies etc. This lead me and my brothers from not having a stable relationship with my dad which basically was part of my mothers agenda for being controlling. As soon as my Brother died, because of that tragic event my dad started being there for me and my younger brother more and he taught me about Narcissism and teaching me how to be a man which I missed out though my childhood, i'm happy that my father is still being a father after my childhood is ended. Now it's the opposite now for the better I don't like my mother but love my dad. But unfortunately I still live with my mother. Times is still tough still grieving over my Brother's death which he died only 22 years old.
Omg I feel so seen I love you and I don’t even know you Thank you so much because people are not very understanding about a narcissistic parent “Ohh it was love” “No it was jealousy”
Yes, I can relate. My mother told me when I was looking for apartments. "You're not leaving this house till you get married" I couldn't even live in our fully Remodeled basement. The excuse was my father said we can't watch Her. She could sneak out the back door. 😮 When I had kids after I got married, my mother refused to watch 'Em while I go to the doctor she didn't want me to have any free time alone. Thank god for my mother in law.
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Programmed to be poor is gonna sound crazy to most people, but that’s the perfect way to describe it
Absolutely Thanks for sharing! I'm so happy you get it and to know that the ones that get it and who've experienced this know it's a thing! In my thirties now, I'm determined to rewrite this program. To everyone reading this, we have the power to shape our futures differently. We don't have to be bound by this program we were given. We've got this! ❤❤❤ Thanks for the comment!
I get it. I grew up in a very toxic family.
Yup…..🥺
Yup. My dad had a "we're poor" mentality. I realized it when I was young and made sure not to adopt that mindset. He had great opportunities to grow financially but never did because of his mindset. I knew early on that poverty is a curse. Where the mind goes, the man follows. Fill your mind with edifying and encouraging thoughts to build yourself up. Don't rely on anyone else to do it for you. What's in you will flow out of you.
😲😲😲
People who love to control others usually dont have any control over their own lives.
That’s truth 💯💯
So true I watch my mother and she always needs a person (pet) to be with her to validate her crown of narcissism and she always preach the Bible but then does hypocritical shii like now all of sudden she is lesbian …..
Indeed!!!
💯💯💯💯💯💯
It's sad to watch ❤
Yep they are afraid you will have freedom to choose not to be around them.
Yet it's their own damned fault.
💯💯💯
Agreed.
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Oh my god, I can see how that can be so true
You may not be financially stable but your a lot closer to being mentally stable when leaving a narcissistic parent …speaking from experience 💯🎯
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😘
Yes this is priceless
Amen
Facts !!!!
No contact 3 years. I had to let my family go. Hardest and best thing I ever did.
Thank you for sharing mines two and half years! so I totally understand your feeling it's defo the hardest thing but also waking up in peace everyday is something I'm equally grateful for ❤
Please see if you can get permanent restraining orders against them too.
I just started leaving my family alone, It has been a month now and it feels so good, stress relieving. I sat and cried 😢 I should have done this a long time ago. But then I smiled and laughed to myself all I can say now Is thank GOD! 🙏🏿😁🙆🏿🧖🏿
@thenanajourney Great Topic and I Pray 🙏 The Most High release you of anything connected on either side of your family. If you believe in thr Most High 👉FAST👈 & Pray 🙏
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“You have spent your whole life trying to care for them” - exactly
yes and then one day you wake up and realise you have to care for yourself❤
@@thenanajourney I am from the UK and had a very long history with controlling and manipulative parents too, do you think the culture in England has an enabling effect with parents who behave like that, I remember growing up constantly hearing to be grateful for being sent to bed hungry and being told to say thank you for stuff I didn’t ask for and didn’t want, any work that I did I was told off for any sense of pride I would show and was constantly reminded to be grateful to just be alive (as if simply dying was a reasonable alternative expectation in different circumstances) and to constantly express embarrassment at expressing any of my personal needs or feelings. I think one of the most clear examples of this is needing to telephone my parents to ask them to sign a consent form for surgery on my left arm which I had injured in some really reckless horsing around in break time at school, and hearing from my mum that “why would she need to physically see me that’s my problem” I think I had just turned 16 and the surgeon was telling me that if the damage was bad enough he would need to amputate my forearm, my mum said Cooley and calmly “oh well don’t miss any school straight back when it’s done!” She and my father were both lawyers, she specialized in child protection and advocacy for young people in care. Which I find completely amazing to this day.
I have lived in Central Europe now for closing in on a decade and have a kind of comparative experience as a result, i honestly think the Uk is somewhat prone to this kind of situation, because of a constant emphasis on toleration and compromise to the extreme (in some cases) of punishing any sense of self esteem or personal boundaries, in a way that is perhaps different in other cultures. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts and opinions.
Omg yes...I didn't want to call them this but I guess they really are narcissistic
@@beyondallreason-du4pq So if you read what I wrote I deliberately stayed away from using a loaded term like narcissism I am not a clinical psychologist and even in that context ethics would dissuade diagnosing direct relatives and family members after all, and instead decided to characterize my opinions in more broad and superficial terms like controlling and manipulative. Which to me is a completely reasonable characterization, obviously I was somewhat selective I didn’t want to write down a whole life history in a UA-cam comment,
And those selfish and abusivly entitled people will miss such a kind and selfless soul like you. They've been knocking on my door everyday as of late ever since as the world seems to be spiralling out of control lol. Character truly stands the test of time.
Narcissistic parents are losers ,and wants everyone to be as miserable and loser as they are, my father is a narcissist ,I agree with everything u said cause it’s true from my experience, they are like liches sucks the life out of everything around them without any regret, my father stopped me from doing any thing, from traveling to work a certain jobs he even wanted me to marry people he choses but I didn’t fall for any of his controlling methods, I’m a free spirit and I will be free till I breath my last breath.
I even wrote a short story about my mum and my brother called The Parasites. The same year I moved out at age 21. That's exactly what narcissists are Parasites.
@@24Roxyx glad u could move out at an early age.
Exactly
The flipside is young people who leave home very early because of abuse/ neglect and the parent/s never helps them financially or physically .. they're just left to fend for themselves and never have a proper springboard to launch from...which can have a terrible flow on effect for years to come..the same type of failure to thrive
This is on point.
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My life! Smh
As an adult you can’t tell me now that this isn’t done on purpose.
I’m 38 and still trying to catch up! I couldn’t afford to live by myself at 16 and I feel like I’ve been chasing my tail ever since . I wish I could have stayed at home,gone to university and built up some savings but all my earnings went of bills and food ( and didn’t even have enough for them as a kid) I’ve encouraged my kids to stay at home for as long as they like, bank their earnings whilst in college / uni then they can have a nice deposit for a house in a few years
You are gorgeous. I escaped at 29. Our lives are not delayed. We broke a very strong generational curse. Everything we endured was so the next generation can thrive. Your blessings will come. Never forget God sends his strongest warriors to fight these battles. It takes a lot of mental strength to endure what you have.
Same at 28
Escaping at 25!❤️❤️❤️
Trying to get out of this Generational Garbage at 33
You Cant blame your parents for the way you turn out.
@user-ii7gy1rw5w I disagree. There is no blaming your parents once you hit the age of 18. It is up to us as adults to heal and move forward in life. You can however hold your parents accountable for their actions. They may have not known better...to be a parent means to have an understanding that your kids will remember every action and reaction as well as your words. We are not blaming our parents we are simply saying a piece of our childhood was destroyed and every adult has a duty to fix our inner child while still having compassion for their parents. It again is called accountability and empathy something this world lacks.
She is absolutely right! I realized all these she is saying at 28. Left in silence and went from $60k to six figures in 2 years! DO NOT EXTEND YOUR DELAY!
That's amazing! Congratulations, out of curiosity what is it that you do?
I'm 49 yrs old and recently went no contact with my entire family.. My mother controlled every aspect of my life!! My heart hurts knowing I missed out on so much of my life. I'm traumatized, but on the healing journey without the toxicity. No one would ever understand the depth of narcissistic abuse unless they've been through it! Thank you for sharing with us! All the best on your healing journey!! xoxo
Same here I feel like they've taken a lot of years by over controlling
I’m 50 years old and going through the same. May the Lprd Kesus bless us all getting out this situation
Thank you for sharing your story because I also have no contact, so I totally understand and relate to this. I often wonder if with age they will become better, but from my research and hearing the journeys from people older than me, it never changes! I am so happy you got out of there, and I know it can feel isolating and lonely. Just know your healing and peace will outweigh that. I am sending you love too on your healing journey, and we are here together as a community so you're never alone. ❤❤
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Wow,I thought I was in this boat alone, my hats off to you because it's hard but necessary. Pray All is well 👏🏾👏🏾
A revealing sign that a family is under a curse, is firstly Poverty, Strife, Jealousy Envy, Hypocritical.
A family is not under a curse. There's just too many adults running around not dealing with their own crap
Or capitalism… you know, the thing that has the world in a chokehold 😏😏
Curse or maybe a phase in their life
@@YaaAgubyKete Theres literally no other option that works that doesnt make everyone starve in the end.
YESSSS.
clearly not a coincidence that this showed up on my feed!! lol damn
I'm glad the path of your Journey led you here ❤
I think I'm a little in denial but I kinda feel the same way a little bit because I never searched for it either.
I have noticed when you do something nice for yourself or buy something for yourself usually something inexpensive because you’ve been trained over the years to think less. The narcissist parent will make negative comments every Single time on the nice that you do for yourself they will claim you spend to much money, make you feel guilty say things like I would have loved something like this for myself; even though it may be out of their range of style etc.
It’s never ‘you deserve to treat yourself’ or ‘this suits you’ never a look of joy always frustration in regards to anything you do out of their say so. No one should make you feel sad and doubt yourself all the time that’s disturbingly psychological abuse.
My mother says she's embarrassed by me and my sister all the time. Like I've been embarrassed by you hitting on my boyfriend's crepper.
True. . . Step dad did that to me at 17. He Gave my brother everything & when i bought something nice for myself he was talking about how he needed money
Oh I love this comment! Yeah, my mom used to make me feel bad for doing good things for myself also.. She used to always catch attitude when I went to the health food store or stayed at the gym “too long” … Wet wipes have been really popular over the last 20 or so years… she saw me using them to wipe off the counter top, and almost blew a gasket because “they’re too expensive to wipe things with…”. Lawwwwwd !!! I’m low contact with her, but her behavior has left a residue of unwarranted guilt over me doing good things for myself ~
@@Brandy3319 Smh, mother’s are suppose to encourage their children to be the best versions of themselves. What you are doing is very positive; Keep being you and never let Anyone make you feel down or anxious about yourself, they don’t have the right too.
@@BaybAzzon You were a teen 🤷🏾♀️ pretty childish and insecure on his part
My parent did the exact thing. They suggested money making situation that financially handicapped me. Put me in a serious bind.i finally got on course around 40yrs of age. You can do it kid!!
Thank you for sharing and for such an uplifting message and glad you have managed to get on track! proud of you for that and this will be encouraging to others there is light and the end of the tunnel.
My dad kept pushing “business” ideas on me and a couple times I almost took the bait. All those fake ideas and he only ever worked a part time job while having a wife and two kids at home. He used to borrow money from me from my little summer jobs…. I think that’s why I didn’t take the bait
I am 42. I had a bipolar and narcissistic mother. She passed away down her bipolar while holding me back. I went back to school at 38 to gain financial stability and to learn more about my condition by studying psychology. You are definitely not alone. Thank you for sharing
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i am so proud of you. i feel so "late" because im 33 and nearly ruined my own financial life bc of the things ingrained in me on purpose by my mom. now Im back in colllege and trying to tell myself im not too late, i still have a chance to change my future.
Im a psych student too
Kudos 👏🏽
You’re not alone. I didn’t even realize that I had been abused in this way until I started the healing process at 35 and looked back and saw that my mother would still use me and take from me when I had nothing..even when I became homeless
Wow this is my right now….she is happy we are almost homeless….but we are leaving tomorrow.
I’m 40 and not financially stable my mother was not nice at times. She talked down on me and it killed my confidence and self worth. I’ve been wanting to be a nurse for years but never tried because I always thought I didn’t deserve it. Yesterday I went to a college to start the process. I got lost a few times and said to myself I have no business here but I changed my mind and I got to the right place.
Wow I'm so proud of you keep going believe in your self 💪🏻
@@Beautiful-world468 Thank you 😊 ❤️❤️
You can do anything you put your mind to huney, you’re capable, you’re strong, you’re good enough, you belong. Think about all the things you’ve overcame thus far. You can do it ! ;)
Wow. You go girl! You should be very proud of your accomplishments. I am very proud of you!
@@licksnkicks1166 Thank You 😊
Yes mommy wants to always be the hero to step in andd save the day that’s how she feels love by feeling “needed” but it reality that doesn’t make her feel loved she just loves being in control…. She will never want you to have your own money or more money than her, they will intentionally watch and help you fall on your face so you’re scared of the world and don’t leave mommy’s money and side, so you stay attached to mommy all of her life while never building your own, or mommy ever helping you build your own money and/or success…..
Did I miss anything?????
LoL nopes!!!! Mines literally goes in spasms if she ever thinks we want to leave... I'm 40....soooo freaking much to unpack!!!
@@Daisylove83 I’m 40 too, I think it’s just largely their generation…
thats my dad! He physically stopped me from leaving the house anytime I would want to. All i did was endure 24/7 abuse at home with no hope of escaping, ignoring, and i was was certainly not allowed to cope with it in any way. may we all breathe the sweet air of freedom.
My mother would say she is struggling financially and then suddenly say she never said that ….. making me so confused and she would kick me out at my lowest to be with men that I didn’t know, she would be happy if I sleep for money rather than have a successful life that she never taught me about or even encourage … she was such a bully to me body shaming me, calling cops ion me every second if I was quiet , she would trap me in the house and if I go out to hang out (mind you I only went out twice a year or never) she would text me long paragraphs saying I need to pay for her bills and all sorts. Then she would say she never said that … she a full narc
I thought it was only me🤔
Same
Jesus
Oh my goodness! I hope you've gotten out 😢
Wow
OMG! My mother did this to me! I am now no contact with her for 2 years after losing everything to her and her golden child. Finally building my life.
Yep. " my doctor son"... That's my mother's golden child.
Whew! This is literally my story with my narc mom and narc spoiled lil sister.
So cool how we’re all so different, yet still all the same. I too have a Narc mother & narc sister. Wow
@@apraise same
@@TheIkeman74 wallowing?? No sir we recognized the ABUSE we went through and have picked ourselves up and sharing our stories we didnt know others went through! You must be a full blown raging narc!
Financial abuse is a real thing and lack of boundaries only helps our narcissistic parents keep us in limbo and from developing as independent people are supposed to do, it’s hard de to all the guilt tripping and manipulation
Thank you for sharing! Breaking free from the guilt trip and manipulation cycle can is so hard, but with knowledge and awareness, we can break the circle it step by step. Everything you said is right unfortunately.
@@autobotdiva9268 that’s usually the case with anything wether it be financially, intellect, or good looks-no one can be better than them so they have to tear down others, that’s how fragile their ego and false self is.
Also a bad sign is them completely ruining your credit score and putting bills in your name taking out direct debits in your name and by the time you realise it takes forever to fix it
I am 17k in student loan debt because my mom took out loans in my name
The golden child chosen pretends they don't know or see the mistreatment of the escape goat/ invisible child...thank God chosed me!!!
AMEN
This right here! And if the golden child longs for a relationship that never was with another parent, they will further try to suppress your wants, feelings, needs and past experiences.
THIS!! yes. It’s infuriating
Unfortunately, I was the golden child all my life, I was straight-A student and bred to be rich so that I can one day pay my parent's lifestyle. But I fell into depresssion, only to find out my parent's didn't give a shit about me. They used me up for my money and thus, I never became financially stable. The golden child is usually 1000% manipulated more than the scapegoat. Feel blessed that you are a scapegoat and they can leave you alone. The golden child is 1000% controlled, until we aren't.
I’m in tears right now. I’m really emotional and trying to watch this video but I’m triggered. I am 34 years old and I have no job and I live with my mom. I had a job in the past and I was making 15 dollars an hour for 12 hours a day. I had a easy position but at the time standing in one spot constantly throughout the whole shift and dealing with jealous toxic people was super draining. And dealing with my jealous narcissistic mother and sisters didn’t make my life any better. My job drained my energy and my mom and sisters drained my energy and my pockets and they were rude and disrespectful to me so I had to quit my job and now I have nothing. I’m scared to get another job because I’m afraid that my family is going to be jealous and try to drive me crazy once again.
Girl I am in the same position as you. Mine doesn't want me to succeed in any way, shape or form ( doesn't even want me to have a man or a job)but still want me to loan her money and make me feel responsable for her financial issues
My mother doesn’t even realize I’m a grown adult at 28 ….. like she just has this set mine of that I will never be successful and her peasant that she can bully mentally because she is so insecure. My whole family is narcissists and I’m the one who has to be the parent teach what is right from wrong to grown adults… only child too smh this life is crazy
Which one do you want most? To stay afraid or gain your strength? Go for what you want give it all you got. And fiercfully be selfish about your needs. That's your way out. Don't waste your life in fear ❤🙏🏽
@@calibleu7532 thank you ♥️
Sis i am in the same seat as you my mom refused to give me a key to our house for years when i pay rent becuse she knew i would come and go as i please her reason was screaming at me that i lost plenty of keys when actually it was my sister that lost alot of keys that my mom gave to her when she dosent ewen live whit us anyways i had enouff and was gonna move out then al of a sudden i got a key you know what my trick is i am saving money in secret i refuse being at home as mutch as posible i use it as a place to sleep and shower thats al it is if i stay in that house i will go mad and get brainwashed you dont tell them about work at al you just go out and come back home saying you were out whit friends al day or you say you were looking for work al day and when you finally have found a stable ground you move out and tell them youre moving the day youre gonna move so you dont have to hear their mental abuse you dont have to post on facebook about work you dont have to tell youre friends about work keep it to yourself have youre work uniform under youre pillow wile sleeping and so on and when youre stable get out as fast as you can and pray to God and Jesus to keep you sane and strong and pray for a better future and allways wait for the mail we bouth know they dont respect privacy.
Narcissistic parents and family really screwup the potential for success for us empaths. My mom finally admitted to me as an adult that I was a beautiful baby so she felt it was necessary for her to knock me down and keep me humble so I would not turn out to think I was better than everyone. So she had to show me I wasn’t all that. I liked dolls and one year for Christmas she gave me a beautiful doll that she took upon herself to burn half of its face before wrapping it up as a gift for me. Soo never thought I was smart enough or good enough to do what I wanted to do and succeed. I wish I learned earlier in life that I was being abused and that it wasn’t me it was them all along.
That is horrible what your mom did! It's pretty ill and she's troubled. i'm so glad that you freed yourself from her.
@@amb7412 thank you
One key element of narcissism is we tend to inherit what is NOT ours. Truth is you're free as a bird, and like you said we have to rewire ourselves to give to ourselves. Return to sender, it's ALL about ENERGY. You deserve it., and you have plenty of time..
❤
💯
I had to file bankruptcy at 22 behind my parent. Was stuck living with them and depressed
Sis, I am not judging you. I am 30 years old, Narc parents are involved in a cult by night and they did the same to me.
Thanks for sharing and hopefully being here you will know your not alone and also hopefully you're healing finding peace ❤
Same SMH 😢
JWs? I'm 31 and trying to get out myself.
33 this year and stuck due to illness.
Yes! Healthy parents want their children to exceed their own achievements in every area. It's "the love of money" not money in and of itself that is evil, it can be a great tool to help ourselves so we are not dependent and then help others from the overflow. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed 🙏🏻✨️❤️🕊🇬🇧
Thank you for sharing yes this makes sense and yes I have learnt money is indeed a tool to allow yourself to be independent ❤
Crabs in a barrel parents or family. BOUNDARIES IS KEY WITH THEM & SELF LOVE & SELF CARE
my mom put down going to college so bad. My dad went to college she didn't. after I graduated she kept saying it was a big expensive waste of time. I finally realized she was trying to lower my confidence. the negative talk made me cringe. I made more boundaries since then.
@acestarone she put going to college down because she didn't want you to be financially free. You going anyway shows how strong & Powerful you are. 👏🏽 Definitely have healthy boundaries with people who are not supporting the best for you!!! GOOD JOB SIS 💖
So true and distance!
I know it’s hard but you have to get out. Save your money and GO as soon as possible! The energy of the home is sucking out your life. Since moving with my mom, my income dropped drastically, and it’s like quicksand trying to get out.
I'm glad I got the hell out. She has no idea where I live or my Facebook. I don't tell her shit
Very very true
Shame is a feeling pushed on you from narc abuse.
Yes I think so..
The dark side for those going through it is losing trust in people. Anyone using truth or honesty against you is sick and harmful. It’s hard listening to this. So much is felt.
Money is not the root of all evil ! It's the love of money that's the root of all evil
I'm learning money can be a tool to help you ❤
Money is not evil, narcs parents are.
I feel bad for my brothers. One of them is a broker and he doesn’t leave the house the other manages a department and they both live at home. I moved out and she talks really bad about me….. she calls me a failure mom and that I need her. I told my partner it’s making me want to move states so she can’t tell anyone anything. She lies and lies and lies. I have BPD due to the horrible treatment as a child. She took a lot from us. I tell my son I was invited to the White House at 12 and nasa camp at 16 and my mom said NO…. My dreams were crushed time and time again. I work with inmates (I love it) but i wanted to be a pilot or something with math involved ☹️😞 I tell my son to dream big and I pay everything for him and I expect 0 in return. That’s my son and his happiness not mine . I wish someone believed in me as a kid 😞
I hate this for you❤❤
I can relate. We believe in you ❤
I went through a similar thing. I was an innocent and giving child and ambitious and I wanted to achieve many big dreams and always got a no and had to stuff it. I am doing it for myself now. I don't need them. I can do it.
Yeah. Horrible narcissistic psychos and abuse. Even if it has a chance you liberate all. They do nothing at all..
Wow. Thank you for providing your son a safe place to grow and sorry you experience you have gone through. Hope you are at a better place now.
You’re so pretty wooow 35! You look 25. Having narcissistic parents or family members is very traumatic. They make you self abandon to support them. My Aunt swears the the most empathetic person on earth but is plain horrible. She sometimes just tries to test test our kindness and humility, so I (speaking for myself) would try to prove my kindness and humility. She would say “humility doesn’t kill”. Sometimes you might just start out trying to be good to them but they continuously drain you.
Get out if you can ❤
I remember in ELEMENTARY school my dad made comments about how I was going to be taking care of my parents when I was grown. I recall laughing because we were living in such deep poverty…. I couldn’t even imagine giving back to capable adults who knowingly let me go hungry. Sure enough when I got back from college (within the first month) they were screaming me down about paying them “rent” before I even had a job or car. The rent they wanted was for me to pay half their mortgage.
I committed myself to getting my car and getting a place…. When they knew I was saving for my deposit they started to get pissed and panicked. I heard things like I would never make it out in the world on my own and that I could never afford anything… Once I got out I never went back. I’ve now had to flee an abusive narc relationship and move across country….. and have cut off my parents.
So many of us have such similar stories.
I’m close to 30 and not financially stable but I’m free. I was financially abused for years in my 20s and I lost my way. I’m trying to learn how to be a stable adult now :(
I can tell by your post that you are more stable than you may believe. You got this!
God knew, he saw it all.
Amen🙏✝️
@Blurredlines92He rescues people, that's what he does. However, it also requires us to make the move! God isn't gonna come down and move your body for you, he will assist in every way but WE have to make the decision to change/leave.
Also, stop blaming God for people abusing their free will. The Bible is VERY CLEAR about us not hurting one another but people always do what they want to do. Blame people ..not God...
Your mom is my mom to the tee! I was too honest to my own detriment and I started being secretive and then lying. Now I’m 7 years no contact and this is the first time I have peace in my life. I can say I am now for the first time genuinely happy and am able to relish this period of my life
She calls my job as an anonymous person and try find out from the owner how much does he pay his operations managers
I started my own business and kept it from my mom. Apparently, she Googles me on a regular because she found updated business info and somehow found her way to my office pretending to look for a space to rent and told the building owner not to tell me that she was there but he told me anyway. lol. I always tell people she is narcissistic but I wasn't sure what that was in reality but now I believe she really is. I pay her rent right now and it is never enough for her even though it sucks my income dry. My sister is already controlled by her and she tries to use money and assets to control me.
Wow. Lmao! She’s crazy
My mom calls my jobs and tells them I’m crazy and talks shit to them and plants seeds to get me fired.
It's none of her business I hope he didn't tell her
@@YagirlM is your mom my mom? She has turned the entire family against me . I visit my older sisters and they all act quiet/weird/uncomfortable around me? One of my sisters is nice to me but as soon as my mother is around she turns into my hater.
I have 2 parents that are narcissists I am 32 and still living at home. The stress has ruined my health and i'm now stuck at home unable to find proper work because of how sick I am. I can't get help from the NHS, government etc. My friends have abandoned me since covid. I am so alone. I really want more friends that understand this situation because they've gone through it too. I'm based in London so I'd love to connect with anyone else in a similar situation. None of my friends understand it. I'm suffering so much.
Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or hospital even few hours google free activities in your city or Facebook group for whatever hobby you lie even tv or cinema it does not have to be big and when that club I'm your city makes palm join them they might help you make friends. Now that the social part is set for work call center for home usually pay decently and does not require you to do much it's usually enough to pay for a room and live alone. Call center are rough mentally but good for the sick or disabled and better then being hopeless at home. If you can move a little apply to a local bakery as a cashier or something or a waiter waitress it's a way to socialize could be part time and helps you gain confidence. I know dishwasher in restaurants are paid well but it's a physical job. Bakery are labor intensive but fin and free food. If you like sports you can apply for a gym part time most of the time they re just there waiting and there to enroll new people. Many ideas
Please commend yourself of your self-awareness and recognition of your journey, which has catapulted you to where you are today. This is already an achievement and you will excel in all that you do now n in your future. Remove yourself from negativity and focus on your goals. Remember your journey has also empowered you n others too. Keep rising n listen to You 🎉
Im subscribing ..honesty with demons always backfires..❤
Imagine that. Telling lies being the best thing to do. These demons demand to know every aspect of your life not because they care, only because they want to control you. Either lie to them or don’t answer them. That’s th3 bes5 way to go.
If left home at 18 and now I'm 33. I still struggle every single day financially. When your truly starting from nothing entirely on your own it's nearly impossible to get ahead in this country unless you get lucky.
Same 49 years old.
Totally! I get it. I have two narcissistic parents and my life was undermined at every level. It's crazy but it evil! It's pure evil. I won't water it down. It's evil.
Yup, my mom is a narcissist and ALWAYS takes my belongings and when I do come into money, she always has an excuse to BORROW from me! I am sick of family. Extended family are no better. I cut off everyone.
That was me and I'm now 30 years old woman and I'm left without any positive relationships, money and a poor experience of life
I can change this but this is what they have done. They did not allow or think of me in my finances, or my my mind and spirit. They took rent money, money for their own needs but did not think of my needs. They put me in this situation from when I was a child. You have all the correct points
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! It's great to hear that you resonate with the points in the video. You're absolutely correct that change is possible, even if it feels like we're playing catch-up. I've learned to refrain from comparing myself to those who haven't experienced the same environment. Instead, I focus on celebrating small wins, knowing that they will eventually add up to significant progress. Maintaining a positive mindset is a victory in itself, especially when narcissistic parents have tried to undermine our hope. youu're never alone in your journey!❤
Mine was a little different, my parents didn’t ask me for money but it was because they were trying to delay my independence so that way I don’t leave the house. I feel for you so strongly. I am glad I found your channel. I am 32 and still financially fluctuating in life almost couldn’t pay my rent last month but I am learning. Still trying to find myself , learn about the world while all trying to pay bills because I got robbed of that when I was little. They even tried to stop me from graduating highschool which I didn’t finish. But I am now opening up a business working with children and educating them on healthy boundaries, etc. I’m glad I’m not alone in this and I realize others have gone through this journey
Hugs to you boo
Thing is, parents have to pour into their children and prepare them for adulthood. Most parents only think “child” instead of adult. If you can’t get your child some type of financial springboard, at least give them the formulas to be financially right. Not everyone wants to be an employee, some want their own business, some want to profit off of their talent in whatever, etc. These are things that need to be discussed with children at middle school or before. If a parent doesn’t poor into their child, why expect your struggling child to poor into you when they are trying to figure out what they wasn’t told?
My mom’s favorite thing to say was “You OWE ME!”
Yup, they can't keep it in their pants years ago, Force you into a World
where Crazy Old Rich People have their finger on the button holding the world hostage if they lose their "control". Yup you owe them.
As if you asked to be born
Wow !! Smh
that´s tough
You are going to make it ! You have a strength in you , your young you are aware , you are going to rise and shine , your beautiful, thank you for sharing the truth
Thank you so much for this positive uplifting comment this means alot ❤
💯💯💯💯 Absolutely true!!!! August 10, 2023 I secretly packed my kids and I clothes up and left!!! We’re now living in an amazing woman and children’s shelter and we’re in COMPLETE peace! I cried listening to this video because it’s so true to the point it hurts! They’re completely money hungry and could care less about your life! I now have over $3,000 saved up for my babies and I…I’ve never in my life had that much money just sitting in my account when I was around my mom! WE WILL OVERCOME THIS it’s hard at first but God is keeping us. Anyone who’s still living in this situation please do everything secretly and leave! If not they will stop you no matter what they have to do. They know we’re much better than them and God has way better for us! I’m 33 years old and I’m just now starting my life…the life God has for me NOT MY NARCISSISTIC MOTHER!!! Thank you God we’re free ❤❤ I’m proud of you as well because you’re helping me and millions more out here that’s been in that vicious cycle. Thank you‼️
You are the perfect age to put yourself in a position to where you will NEVER have to worry about money again.
I'm 37 and finally breaking free
Grew up in a similar environment. Parents cut me off financially by the time I turned 12 and I started working at 14. They made me cough up a third of my paycheck every month for just living there. I was the youngest child and the black sheep so I know all about parents sabotaging their children. So glad those days are behind me, my relationship with my mother was just take take, no giving back to me.
My narc mom charged me rent since age 15 even though both parents had Masters Degrees and stable jobs. I got my own job early on so I could have my own spending money. They’d constantly threaten me with homelessness and tell me to hurry and move out even though they financially abused me so I could never save enough $ to get my own apartment knowing how expensive it is to live in NYC even w/ roommates. Finally at age 32 I was able to get someone else’s financial help to move out. 10+ years later and after going no contact I’ll never look back.
Thank you for taking about this. The Financial abuse aspect of growing up with a narcissistic parent is such a traumatizing experience . I come from a low income, narcissistic parent household. I'm 23 and I still live with my narcissistic parent's. I don't have a lot of freedom and living with them is like living in an echo chamber of negativity.
The intimidation , gaslighting, invasion of financial privacy, emotional blackmail and pure extortion around money is honestly too much. It's a huge part of how they keep me stuck. Through years of their psychological abuse, I've been conditioned to not have standards, especially when it comes to money. They've tried to condition me into believing that not being financially Independent is normal.
There's also soo much jealousy, envy and guilt dispatched whenever I spend money on basic essentials. It's even worse when I express dreams to get a place of my own, travel the world or share any desire to live a better life.
I've spent a lot of time unwriring these beliefs and I've learnt the hard way that you can't trust a narcissistic parent with any important information about you. After hearing your story, I'm motivated more than ever to move out soon. I need to prioritize my independence and step out of this situation. Than you for sharing your story and experiencing your vulnerability and authenticity. You will definitely over come this, you are gifted and I believe in you. ❤
I know this may not be possible immediately, but, the faster you get out, the better off you will be. It has to be a complete release. Been there, done that. As long as you are there they control their game. Praying for you.🙏
@@BlueJeansandJellyBeans Thank you, I appreciate it. Hopefully it happens soon ❤️🙏🏼
We are living the same life
I am finally waking up to the manipulation. It hurts but I’m taking care of me now
Be gentle with yourself ❤
Thank you so much for your vulnerability. This is a topic rarely spoken of, but it is so critical to one's comeback. You are not alone in this. Our experiences are quite similar. It took me almost four decades to retrace the path that brought me to this place of chronic hardship. Indeed, the trap was set when I was a child. I have since been removed from the will. Pure evil.
Leslie, Thank you for always commenting and supporting these videos as this mean a lot to me! Thank you for sharing your journey and experiences. It's unfortunate that many of us are caught in these financial traps early on, leading to a lifetime of guilt and feeling trapped. But I'm taking each day as it comes, focusing on living positively and finding peace. I believe the rest will fall into place. You've got this! ❤
A family friend told me in private that my mother thought I was HOARDing money aside from her
Honestly, under her roof I couldn’t hold a job. I couldn’t accomplish very much and she clearly didn’t speak very highly of me to others. My mother and everyone was surprised when I got a great job and moved out during the pandemic. The only reason why I didn’t stay out on my own as long was because she sabataged opportunities, I lacked support and I live in one of the most expensive cities in the world
Same
I am proud of you!! That must have been so difficult and you succeeded anyways. Success will find you again ❤
@@wendymarshall2132 Thank you!! I got the key for my new place this past Friday. I move out (again) soon. I have no intentional of sharing the address with my mother this time.
Success didn't leave me, it's a journey. I'm determined to make the most of my life and I'm making intentional choices to invest and cherish myself despite my background. I'm more than just challenges. 🥰
I can relate to this too. I spent my hard earned money “helping” for all of my 20s. Money I’ll never see again and my mother doesn’t care.
45 here. Till my 30's was a free slave for the entrie family. Thats what these narcs want a free slave i.e., to work for them, tolerate all that they do, all the gaslighting, rage etc....hurt me real bad financially. How i helaed -
Arhat, in Buddhism, a perfected person, one who has gained insight into the true nature of existence and has achieved nirvana (spiritual enlightenment) --- going no contact(no funerals or marriages etc), exercising everyday, meditation, and working and earning, eating food with low glycemic load and index. Become the Arhat.
Wow! 3 mins in and it’s the nail on the head. Confirmation my mom is this person.
Thank you for sharing, and you're more than welcome to the Nana Journey community, as it sounds like you're relating to this! You're not alone in this journey, and it will get better. ❤
Sometimes parents with money are the worst - they control you with the idea of having money but give you nothing and put you down for not living a rich life and god forbid you get depressed that sends them in over drive
Ok scrap everyone and focus on you :
Your narc parents can only take years from you now !!!! That’s expensive
You need to take charge and reinvent yourself …get out of the house !!!! Do something and push yourself forward !!!
Don't be ashamed my sister. I have the same lifestyle and it is depressing at times. You feel trapped and broken many days. But, speak life over yourself. Our mothers need healing. However, we do not owe them their healing. Move on. I am 38 and starting over financially again because just like you my life has been sabotaged and set back by my mother and my absent father. I can also admit that I have had to learn to be financially responsible, because they don't teach us anything about survival outside of them. Our fathers are at fault as well, because even if we couldn't depend on our mothers, we should have been able to depend on one of our parents. They have no control over our lives. Although they love to see us struggle. You will thrive and you will gain financial security. You are not stuck. You are on a journey of healing and that healing will bring you abundance. Pray and seek God. He cares about you. No matter what, do not lose faith. Keep going. You got this.
Lovely comment and so true. Id like info on your work and what you do if possible?
The timing of this video couldn't be better. Wow, thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you and I'm so glad you're got something from this! keep shinning! ❤
Im 44 and same thing happen to me from both my narcissistic parents
Nana, I understand completely what you are going through, as both my parents were narcissistic as well. I wasn't taught the importance of saving money because I rarely had any. As a matter of fact, none of my siblings and I have never been financially independent
I’m 38 and have a narcissistic mother, I’m still struggling to be financially stable! She made me homeless multiple times and enjoyed seeing me financially struggle, I believe my mother to be a sociopath…anyway financial abuse is all too real and when it is your own parent it will have you starting a million miles behind our peers! I now don’t worry about being single and I definitely won’t be having children, I also don’t compare myself to others because we haven’t had the same start in life but also for myself I have several disabilities. It is what it is! I try to find joy in things that I like, keep to myself mostly because tbh most people aren’t very pleasant to be around…anyway I have actually rambled! You did not and I really enjoyed your video! I have subscribed and hope to see your space get bigger 🩷 one small small critique is the captions are really distracting for me personally and as long as you enable them from your end, when uploading your videos, people can turn them on/off as they wish. I will be here regardless 🙏🏽✨
The narc parent is often times why the child have severe disabilities, it's a crab in barrel thing they do
imposed poverty. NO CONTACT. ever again.
So true about the head phones 😂😂😂 listen to anything other than the lies of a narcissist. Their thinking is so warped it's literally pointless in having a conversation with them.
Omg headphones saved me during lockdown living with Narc mum yes cutting out the lies and negative noise! ❤
Yes, Yes, Yes... I had to cut the cord at 23 years old. I went through this from 17 years old to 23 years old. I had to finally say NO. I have given you thousands of pounds. I have repaid you for the work you did raising me.
I keep forgetting there’s people out there who actually rob their own children of happiness. Like wtf is life
I will never understand and even more so now i'm an adult I don't see how adult parents can feel comfortable being like this towards their children.
This is why I make videos on healthy ways of parenting because it would break my heart to know I ever did this to my own child. I pray God gives you peace in your heart, and grants you all the success you deserve. So proud of you for breaking free from the mental shackles and helping others who might be in similar positions. The world needs you. 💛
Also always recieving their unsolicited opinion on every opinion or decision i make in life.
27 years old, not financially stable. My narcissistic mother gained financial control over me by taking me to the welfare office as soon as I turned 18 so I could sign up for benefits. She lied about it being temporary, just until I could find a job, but every time I applied for jobs or told her I had an interview, she would sabotage me and destroy the little confidence I had. As a result, I would come across as nervous and incompetent in all of my job interviews. There was also the glaring fact that I had never had a job, so I had nothing to put down on my resume. I couldn't drive either, which limited the places I could work (couldn't work too far from the house because I didn't have a car.) My ability to get my driver's license was hampered, since my mother wouldn't take me for driving practice and my father wasn't "allowed" to supervise my driving either. He was also a victim of her abuse. The fact I lived on welfare meant I couldn't afford a driving instructor, so there was no way I could learn to drive. She set it up this way to limit my movements and have greater control over me. It wasn't until I stopped telling my mother I had gotten interviews and started preparing for them in secret that I landed jobs. It turns out that when someone isn't filling your head with the message that you're incapable and untrustworthy, people actually like you! Another way I was kept financially dependent was by not being taught even the basics about money, how to manage expenses etc. Everything I know about money, I taught myself. My narcissistic mother wanted me to live on welfare, not have any ambitions, be unable to drive, or be a functioning adult. The fact I can hold down a job and not spend all of my salary in a week is a fucking miracle, because I shouldn't even be capable of that! I feel like I haven't grown up.
I feel like I'm sedated by a drug. I know it's them controlling me. I have been telling myself to move out for months on end and still haven't moved out.
I'm kidding myself at this point.
Its also hard when u have mental illness in the way of that. U cant even rely on yourself which is why youre dependent.
You can't be sober in a narsistic parent household...
You could be stuck in the trauma based "freeze" response with a little learned helplessness thrown in. I get where you are coming from!
I can relate to this dealing with depression passed from my mother. It does feel like a chemical imbalance like you are being drugged . I know this feeling, when I read your post I was like wow so I know I’m not going crazy. I learned that we can actually develop autoimmune disease if you constantly feeling stressed and one is the freeze response which my body does everyday. I try to not watch too many videos on the educational narcissist parents and try to clear my mind as much as I can or silence it because anytime I’m around my mother my brain starts to go crazy thinking and analyzing and remembering what they say PTSD. Make sure you’re eating and taking care of your health 🩷
with mental illness you have to consider things like meditation, going on walks, etc as very important investments, similar to getting a job to save money. its actually survival at that point, you have to start throwing out the garbage they keeping dumping in your brain and its easier to start small. like 5 minutes a day. you sound like you may be dissociated, try to do something that shocks you back into your body
i can tell thru ur eyes that u've been thru alot no words needed
Wealth is not just money....beauty is a form of wealth too....
YES! And they will try to STEAL it from you. When I was a teenager, my mother and sister were so jealous they told me every day I was a whore because guys were always asking me out and giving me attention. All I had to do was show up and sit in algebra class. Really I was so insecure and self-critical. Was brainwashed into thinking all men are bad. My (divorced) dad said on a weekend visit that my pink nail polish "You look like a prostitute"). Such awful, envious people.
Explain
Health is wealth too. Without good health we cannot enjoy the things we have.
Health is wealth. You can have all the money in the world and stay in a 5-star luxury resort. You will still be miserable if you are sick.
I guess he/she refers to physical beauty and how does others envy you and try to destroy you. I have been abused, even beaten by my sister since I was a teenager, also abused by "friends" or coworkers simply by the fact of been a good person and on top of that been thin with a proportionated body. My appearance instead of making me happy, has bring me loneliness, and suffering my whole life. Maybe people can't take beauty from you, but believe me they take away your happiness and health because of the way they hate and treat you.
Congratulations for moving out! This was a big step
Thank you for this it's been the hardest thing of my life but I did it so thank you ❤
I'm so, SO sorry hun. The horrible thing is that no one cares or even empathizes because they don't see a severed limb or a busted nose.
Stay strong. And yep, keep getting away from those "parents"!
Im also 35. In the process of buying my first house and I feel like my mother is trying to control what I kind of house I buy. She's trying to get me to buy something that she would like cause she thinks she's going to move in with me but she's not. Dealing with her gives me anxiety. I dont want to think about anyone but myself.
Do it in secret when she least expects it make sure you get what you want because this is what you deserve x
@@MyDarlingAngelTashayup always move in silence…
Im 41 years old and only discovered my mom is narcissistic few months ago. A lot of stuff are making so much sense now.
I'm so happy and glad to have come across your account (it was the video where you were saying you don't have any women friends). Since then, I've binge watching all your topics esp the ones about narcissistic mothers!! Would you mind if I asked if you have any form of contact with your Mom at all? For example; birthdays or Christmas.
my endless support and love for you 🥰 thank you
Thank you so much ❤ sending you positive energy too
Interesting, I never connected the two, but after you explained it, I agree. Narc parents being TOTALLY selfish will cause a feeling of lack and emptiness in their child and that child will attempt to fill that lack by purchasing too many things and will inevitably go into debt. They will then blame themselves and convince themselves that they are just not good with money or that they just can't make enough money. I went through the same thing for a very long time, 50 years, but I am much better now after And as a psychotherapist, I want to tell you, you can overcome this with some self-work (that you are doing) and time. I too had a narcissistic mother and it is still painful, but somehow I have managed to move forward little by little. I see that you have a big heart for helping others and that you also have a real aptitude for encouraging and counseling people. Btw, you don't have to get an advanced degree in order to counsel others if that's not financially viable for you right now. You can just call yourself a "life coach" (no official credentials necessary) and help others through your youtube channel. There are many successful so-called life coaches on line. You can educate yourself through books and on-line corses. Actually, if I had it to do over again that's what I would do. School is way too expensive today, it takes way too long to get a degree and to get certified. You are intelligent, motivated, and have a very warm and approachable personality and these are the qualities that a "coach/counselor" needs and these will get you far. I would be happy to talk to you personally if you have any questions or need some guidance. I know you will succeed and I wish you much luck on your journey of healing yourself and helping others to heal. This video was very well done, coherent and I'm sure will help may people. Thank you ❤
I also had to pay rent immediately after I turned 18 and all of my savings had to go back to my mother who was charging me for rent. She also wanted me out during Covid and knew I was heading off to college in a few months. It still hurts me to think she doesn’t need to charge as much as she did especially since I worked three jobs just to make it happen. I’m a lot more financially responsible now and am working to get a car to get out of my horrible fathers house and away from all of them
I’m 38 and I’m aware of this programming and trying to get out of it has been challenging for me. when not supported in my environment and having to do my own research it’s discouraging but I’m still pushing through just taking longer. But I do KNOW I will make it! Thanks for this video 💫
It's so hard! I have 2 narcissistic parents and I'm an only child, 33 years old. I hate that this is happening to us. I pray for the best for you. 🙏
My heart and prayers go out to you. I truly understand, I have two narcissistic parents. I am 50 and I am just starting to make steps in the right direction to be more financially stable. There is hope for us.🙌🏾🙏🏾❤️
I think they call it "learned helplessness" . I too have narcissistic mother and narc family. It was very confusing and disorienting. I read about this learned helplessness a scapegoat is taught or propgrammed into sort of speak. good video on this. thank you
I learned to love my parents from a far
im 23, I have Narc Mother throughout my whole life up to covid , Mother manipulated me and still is from basically not liking my dad saying lies etc. This lead me and my brothers from not having a stable relationship with my dad which basically was part of my mothers agenda for being controlling. As soon as my Brother died, because of that tragic event my dad started being there for me and my younger brother more and he taught me about Narcissism and teaching me how to be a man which I missed out though my childhood, i'm happy that my father is still being a father after my childhood is ended. Now it's the opposite now for the better I don't like my mother but love my dad. But unfortunately I still live with my mother. Times is still tough still grieving over my Brother's death which he died only 22 years old.
Omg I feel so seen I love you and I don’t even know you Thank you so much because people are not very understanding about a narcissistic parent “Ohh it was love” “No it was jealousy”
Narcissist parent(s): "I did___, I paid for ___." It's WEAPONIZED PARENTING.
I never knew the word for it . That's my father. Turned me into a money making man tho .
Yes, I can relate. My mother told me when I was looking for apartments. "You're not leaving this house till you get married" I couldn't even live in our fully Remodeled basement. The excuse was my father said we can't watch Her. She could sneak out the back door. 😮 When I had kids after I got married, my mother refused to watch 'Em while I go to the doctor she didn't want me to have any free time alone. Thank god for my mother in law.
I am in my 50's, and listening to your story. Yes, I understand and it is baby steps to get to your goal.