True love is consistent, publicly and behind doors and constant. Narcissist on the other hand only shows it publicly not secretly. That's why jesus says bless are those who do good behind lock doors than those who shows only to the crowds.
A Narcissist will call you a Narcissist when you change from allowing yourself to be manipulated, to start setting boundaries. They will say you are no longer nice but now very cold. That's how they see boundaries.
Yeah! So true 😢 they actually dont even know the definition of empathy. But yes, they are very good in reading people in order to use and manipulate them. Some call them "dark empaths" which is quite funny 🫥
@@cheenumama2079 Oh yes, they certainly are a black belt when it comes to reading others. They seem to prey on people who are genuinly empathic, and like you said, they give you a free ticket for the rollercoaster in their egopathic world where manipulation never has a day off. Take good care of yourself, and never let anyone take your value and self-respect away ✌🏻
Yep, my mom. Close to 80 and she’s beyond negative, unapologetic, and self loathing… plays the victim all the time, even though there’s nothing to play victim over.
Probably because she was a child victim. From my understanding narcissists are made through childhood abuse. Apparently when abused during particular growth periods it alters their brain structure. Idk I’m researching it myself regarding my parents as well, and I have found a lot of good info on Tim Fletchers page/channel here on UA-cam. ❤
@@sarahalderman3126 I’ve never met anyone like her, it’s crazy. I could tell you numerous stories… She’s just so full of herself. The entitlement… She’ll never be at fault. She needs constant attention, loves conflict and drama, and has no problem breaking you down. Both of her sons want nothing to do with her and I can’t blame them. She abandoned my oldest brother. My father tried stepping up… My mother had a good life and just never appreciated it. She has no empathy. Ruined my father financially because only the best for her. I feel bad talking bad about her but I’m just so grateful and the polar opposite of her.
@@terseandtiny1746 I don’t believe so, but I’m not a doctor. She’s just very arrogant, self-aware and doesn’t give two craps. She only loves herself. She has destroyed many lives and has no regrets. It’s astonishing to me. No emotion, just a terrible actress…
I know a few. Lovely and kind with their friends, abusive in the home. But as a friend, once you get too close, you become one of the family, where your boundaries will be ignored all the time, and everything becomes about them.
My husband says I am a narcissist whenever I put myself or my pregnancy before him(lack empathy, attention seeking and that I think I am better than him), when we are teasing each other(put downs and boundary violations), when I don’t take care of the house after he rants that I am useless for months(switching from being kind and perfect to nasty and mean). He uses my reactions to his behavior to claim my narcissism. I think he’s the covert narcissist(nice and shy guy narc) and I suspect he has been told that by others and he knows he is. Before me, he told me all of his friends were narcs including his parents. Now that I am his target, his friends and family are angels and I am the evil one. It’s creepy and weird and I want to leave but don’t know when or how especially now that there will be a child involved in a few months.
Make a plan, tell one person you trust, and start taking the steps to get out of the relationship. It will take time but you can do it. I'll pray for you. You're not the narcissist.
Make sure you MAKE A PLAN before he knows it and sneak out QUIETLY or else! And you can’t even image the else he is capable of (like street, violence or …) Read “Enough is Enough” book to help you with the plan.
Many of us are misguided from childhood and as such many of us have various compensating behaviours. He sounds like he is the bigger narcissist from the story you shared but it doesn't necessarily mean you aren't one as well (maybe you are not, I am simply encouraging self reflection rather than giving validation. You did say you are putting yourself before him, he is doing the same thing from sounds of it - so aren't you both equal then? ) . It's not a black and white + either. There's also various strategies a narcissist will use to get supply (e.g. actively putting you down versus volunteering and bragging about it) and not all strategies are equally damaging. But you won't be able to stay sane, evaluate and improve yourself if you're going to reflect yourself against him. Two negatives don't make a positive. Ideally you can find a professional help and through that make the next steps necessary for your own and relationship wellbeing - even if it means with a different partner in many years. I am speaking from personal experience - I know I am keen on self centered arguments and manipulations but I also often find those same traits in my partners - possibly, because it is familiar to me and therefore seems attractive. But none of those relationships ever were healthy or happy because we both kept putting our own needs above the other. Through a lot of self work I think I finally started a relationship with someone that is reasonably healthy and we put each other's needs equally, there's no sudden mood switching, baiting or manipulations from either of us. And when one of us slip up, we both feel safe to talk it out later from the point of view that we were actually being selfish. Best of luck to you and your partner though. It sounds like you might be unsure of what is the current reality and indeed what some of the worst narcissists do, they gaslight you into questioning your reality. That's why I suggest speaking with a professional.
@@MartinzW fortunately, I have seen professionals about this issue. I ended up in a battered women’s shelter last year due to physical abuse. Even though I thought I was defending my husband’s actions, the counselors concluded that he is indeed a narcissist. After I told the counselors at the shelter that I planned to go back to my narc husband, they insisted that I restart individual counseling which I have been to before for related issues. It’s a pattern for me to find partners who have narc traits after being raised by a malignant narcissist. I noticed that I find narc traits in others that are familiar to me and forgive them which is why my previous attempts in counseling were unsuccessful. I spent entire sessions trying to battle for my partner and why I was wrong and they were right. So embarrassing…. This go around, my counselor is trained in abuse and trauma and is able to help me focus on how the narcissist strategies are affecting me and my future child. Every few weeks I get nervous and feel the need to validate myself on youtube after seeing posts like this one and hearing the examples :( It’s too real sometimes.
Sign No. 7: they are really self-centred. Never help others but when they need support they play the victimcard and guilt-trip others till they get what they want 😢
A longtime, now former, coworker of mine. When I finally left that job after 14 years, I suddenly felt like I could breathe again. When I finally came out of the situation, my body and mind just kinda collapsed in exhaustion. I could barely get out of bed for a couple of weeks. My body recovered fairly quickly, but my therapy is ongoing.
Same here. She is totally against me feeling good about myself at all. If I self depricate, she pours on the affection, while "confirming" that my bad feelings about myself are valid, but nothing else is.
We all have it in us to different degrees! Atm everyone’s a narcissist! It’s learned behaviour. Adaptation to trauma, which is not funny I can assure you!! I have experienced this from my mother and I have seen it in me! I think we need a bit more compassion. For those unwilling to look at themselves, then boundaries are a must. Introspection and awareness need to be practiced by everyone. 🙏🏻❤️🩹
Narcissism is on a spectrum. Zero narcissism means zero self-love, zero self-esteem. Narcissism becomes toxic and dysfunctional when it is extreme...then it's a "disorder".
Introspection and Compassion on both/either sides. Empathy versus Sympathy or Apathy. Many will “try” to Acknowledge someone’s needs but Few will attempt to Act. Negligence is as harmful as Inflicting. Having the “capacity” isn’t warranted to ignore appropriate “responsibility”. Just because a person Could doesn’t justify a Should and doesn’t means a person Would either.
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Elaborate on the lack of empathy, the nasty and put downs..lack of outer perspective and respect for others.(exactly no boundaries). You can be bleeding and suffering theyll complain, omit you and your issue...or talk about something else completely.
Dealing with a female narcissist's lack of empathy, constant put-downs, and disregard for boundaries can be incredibly distressing. Their inability to acknowledge or understand the pain of others, coupled with a tendency to redirect conversations away from your concerns, can make communication and connection difficult. It's important to recognize the toll this can take on your well-being.
Narcissists need someone around them to feel negative emotions. Thats why they hate when you have boundaries that you won't violate. There a great no test by Nancy Levin. Think of them as negative emotion vampires. They go up by bringing you down. Often it's in subtle ways like making you stay up late or give up a weekend. They will never pay it back.
I knew a female narcissist that showed 5 out of 6 sign on your list. I really didn’t know what was happening at the time. I thought I was failing to support her in the right ways. Luckily I came to that realization within a few months of moving in together and got out of there. The boundary issue was probably the most striking aspect of that situation. If someone won’t let you leave a situation or won’t stop banging on your bedroom door until you open it, you need get away from that person as soon as possible.
I show some of these signs because I have autism I don’t really understand emotions well whether it’s my own or someone else’s so I have a hard time with empathy and if someone has a boundary, they need to outright tell me I do not pick up signal as well so sometimes I might go past someone’s boundary and the always needing validation thing I have that because I was abused as a kid by my father. As for the attention thing my mother was so busy working trying to provide a good life for me that she was not around a lot and when she was, she was working on her phone so I crave attention from others because i did not get it in my childhood I’m just saying this so people know it’s not always narcissism When people show these signs It could be another thing I definitely encouraged to be careful and maybe ask them about it
@@stigccif they have these "signs" RUN FROM THEM... whether the "label" fits or not doesn't matter, NEVER subject yourself to someone who behaved in these ways.
Also likes to cause division in the environment around her, and create an us and them culture. It makes her feel powerful to head up a group and say "They're not invited"
Mine is extremely generous and giving…as long as it’s not with her money. Great double benefit for her! She comes off like a Saint while painting me in the corner of stress and heightened anxiety about finances. You want to see something hilarious? Put a financially dependent narcissist on a budget. You get to see ALL SIX!!!!
6 місяців тому+21
Apparently, most of the cheerleaders I knew inhigh school are narcissists.
Feeling free from others validation and approval is such a freeing feeling. Knowing I'm within boundaries of those who love and support me vs those who don't. What validation actually matters? What exerternal pressure is throwing off judgments and overall all outcomes. Am I a bad person? I don't think so. Not by a long shot just for living my life outside societies norms. Am I understanding that I'm a strain on those around me? Heavily, I really feel it. I dont have to internalize it though. Others opinions don't define me. I grow and water others, the more I grow the more my love overflows or my deepest intentions within my control. 😌❤
It’s un comprehensible the tactics that narcissist use, especially against their own family i.e. children. She triangulates her own kids against each other so that she can control them, but we finally figured out how to deal with her and we all choose no contact and now it’s driving her crazy, and the healing has begun in the family. Without her.
I just got out of a relationship with one. I feel ruined but understand that I need to build myself back to who I was before the relationship. It took me a year and nine months of constant and consistent suffering to finally reach the point of seeing how my mental and emotional health was on steep decline. I was becoming more and more like her and I lost my ways. Once I left I immediately felt a sense of freedom and a breath of life I haven’t felt before. While also hating myself for letting it go for so long.
My recent ex accused me of "loving attention" and "needing everyone to give me attention". What they didn't know was that I was always the shy and introverted child and teenager and I'd done a lot of work to gain my self confidence. It wasn't me "needing attention" but more that I was so happy and full of humourous comments and having fun without negativity in my life that I seemed to be getting a lot of attention but never felt I needed it 🤷🏻♀️ just seemed to be happening. So what one views as needing attention may be that actually that person is just high vibrational and naturally attracts ppl without the need for it. So be careful of self-projection. Everyone can start off really lovely and then turn "nasty" if they are treated badly, disrespected constantly, put down and verbally abused.
Yes (* BUT !) in the case of a narcissist $he is : * NOT Interested in your Wellbeing, * very exploitative, * gives You attention back only if there is some Big personal gain( behind it), * And has NO EMPATHY For your struggles and dificulties , but agresively and COVERTLY manipulates the situation onto Her goals, topics and interests ( !!! At your Expense!!!). Etc etc ... ...etc etc ...
Seeking for attention and being quiet aren't opposite to each other! People can be introvert and narcissist at the same time! Probably you are afraid of very extrovert women because you feel you might get cheated on or you think that women should be submissive to men! Some of that "attention seeking" some women like it's due to a great amount of guys getting dumb in the face of a very beautiful woman, which seems quite foolish to me! That "the only thing important of being a woman is being beautiful" makes no sense (and it's a bit misogynistic, like if women existed to please men) and maybe that's why some b8tchy women and very beautiful at the same time, screw guys!
The irony of you commenting on a video about narcissists when you’re openly declaring that you go out of your way to find quiet isolated women. I.e insecure meek women who are easier for you to control.
True lover is always constant wether in public or private it's pure and unchanging. Fake love always shows when it's convenient or useful then on private it's demonic cruel. And ruthless like the devil which is the narcissist.
Yes it certainly does. And myself being a humble, thankful, appreciative man for quite sometime now on this good earth, with countless business, personal interactions, conversations with men and women, it seems the narc trait crown belongs to women unfortunately. I'd happily point the finger at men if it were mostly them. I do believe the slight rise of male narcissism has to do with many (including myself) being raised in severe dysfunctional single mother households. Missing that vital supportive masculine father figure. And trying to break free and bypass those traits is continual work. Also in some cases with couples it seems to be simply just a breakdown of communication and lacking listening/processing skills causing narc labels to be thrown around.
Hard when it's a parent, NPD is not fun paired with schizophrenia.. schizoaffective, if you will. They are fantastic at putting a mask on and hiding. But what do I know I didn't study for 7 years! Haha
I had a feeling out them, from outside it was all glitter but i felt some other way about them and started seeing comformation later on, but ignoring it costed me a lot of my energy and time in the beginning so please no matter how much good of a reputation or show they put on, never ignore yoir intuition
true but to be clear it's often hard to detect unless they think you're completely dependent on them. If you're a smarter narcissist, or already successful or fulfilled, It's really not as obvious. They can seem extremely empathic If they're making the slightest effort. but it's there and still doing damage.
My wife did this to me, our kids, her Daughter, now her Niece and Nephew she adopted, her Daughter and her Mother are just like her. The cut down thing especially, it's their favorite, but they're Bi-Polar, super nice, then super mean.
I think i have been with one for over 20 years 😢. Every time i start exercising and trying to improve myself mentally, she puts me down or tries and accuses me of cheating on her. When i here her voice i am afraid to speak 😔 and i know what i want to say to defend myself, but my mind goes blank, and i get confused, unable to articulate my feelings
My narc as a child wanted to center of attention. She’s a family member and to my memory she would seek that constant look at me, listen to me at age of 3! Parents feed into that we all had to stop and listen to what this 3 yr old had to say at the adult table.
A client of mine who I finished up work with recently is an attention and validation seeker. This woman is married and it went as far as me ending up in an emotional affair with her that I struggled to get out of. I didn't realise at first what was happening and what I got myself into and the moment I did, I was already knee deep. It's been 2 weeks since our last contact. I've blocked her from all of my social media and whatsapp accounts so that she has no access to me at all. I confronted her about what this was and why there is this energy between myself and her but she kept on dodging my confrontations and the more I pushed and pushed for an answer on different occasions I knew something was up but it was already too late. I've blocked her. She is DONE!
It’s strange I’m dealing with a female narcissist who is 71 years old and she’s extremely controlling and it’s just very difficult around her. She constantly talks about how she has to do everything and when I tell her I can do things if she wants to give me the task she’ll say no I want to do it and then she’ll be very upset about the fact that she has to do everything, it really is confusing how to handle her because she’s old and I feel like she needs the job and she likes her duties and on top of it somebody should be helping her, but she won’t let anyone and then blames everyone for not being able to do the job
It's people who can't take rejection. They always bother you until they can turn it around because they always have to be the one doing the rejecting, never the one being rejected.
Beyond conformity and compliance, a complete lack of interest in getting to know, or understand the person they say they "love". The lack of empathy means zero connection, from their side of the relationship. Death by a million neglects; narcissism is "...where your needs go to die."
Pointing our how someone is hurting you or disrespecting ypur boundaries shouldn't be putting you down and if you feel that way maybe you shouldn't throw your guilt at the person and make them feel bad about wanting to be treated right
My older sister is a narcissist and trust me, I’m trying to walk away because I can’t take it anymore (I’m loosing myself) but I’m unable to do so cuz of culture and the fact that I’m still in highschool
My X. She did me dirty. She cut herself and threw herself down the stairs. I pieced it together after coming home from work I asked her what happened she replied with I fell down the stairs and then blamed me as a joke. 7 months after the break up is when I realized she told her secrecy admire that I was abusing her
It’s exhausting. If you validate them and give them compliments they are not happy cause you did something they couldn’t control yesterday. Otherwise they try to bait you into a fight then cry victim!
So many of them go to the Gym too. I dated a girl from the Gym. She came across as nice, and kind and reserved. All because i disagreed her narrative she cursed at me. I didint give her a second chance and dumped her immediantly.
2)my narc best friend was the most caring loving person for almost 4 years and then when i got into PG and he had to get admission through private seat oh god she changed into the most nasty crazy person i suffered a lot esp being in the same room same hostel
Does anyone know why a female that is a total stranger, would stare at another female? Look at you from head to toe, then back again. If I try to talk/make contact, they are not friendly at all. What is that?
@@devonjenkins6829 I work with mental health needs. I have been trained in mental disabilities, as well as mental illnesses and disorders. There are signs that can look like narcissism that are actually just trauma responses to other things. Sometimes people with autism or ADHD can have signs of narcissism, but they’re actually not narcissist stuff like this is actually really dangerous to put on the Internet because it can really give a misconception of other mental illnesses that already have stereotypes. I’m not a doctor, but I work with people that have a variety of mental and cognitive dysfunction and that includes people with NPD what she described was a very generalized description and it’s harmful and people need to stop listening to these people that post stuff like this.
That's exactly my stepmother. She threatened to bring my sister away when she chose to stay with my family. Turns out they're staying because my family are actively enabling her. I can't wait for 2 more years. Moving overseas is an escape.
The 6 signs I learnt 1 Jealousy. 2 Blaming you (for everything what goes not their way) - they never take accountability 3 Using all you said again you. 4 Demanding that you put up with their shit. Disagree? you’re not considering their feelings. 5 praise you in public, hate you when ppl actually like you (seemingly more than her) 6 if you stop reacting to their tantrums, silent treatment or accusations; they freak out. Or they tell you, you turned into a robot and will never be happy (you’ll be lonely w/o them)
All of them are very true Happenes to me all these 18 years of marriage How stupid i am to not knowing the truest truth of her She is a real academic award actress all the time
what happens when we are blamed by these but we are not the narcisist. for example blamed by always putting them down but i was just expressing my feelings or wanting attention because my partner is aways cold and then he gets mad because he says i get in his boundry. i wish videos like this were more clear
Just left one! Thank God! I said nothing when I left, there's no helping her. She was nasty, a liar, manipulater, non reciprocal, materialistic, a cheater, and just flat out evil. I feel bad but at the same time I don't feel for her as karma is not going to let her get help. Oh well
when I ended it with her she said - "im f-king amazing" and "I'm a deeply empathetic person".. she never showed any empathy. I don't think empathetic people label themselves as such - they demonstrate it instead.
I actually read online an article about narcissist and it said the majority of moden girls have this today to some level. Im not sure if they develop it or are born with it. It actually kinda makes sense with so many depressed women today. 🙏
You are talking rubbish. “i read on online article” i.e you made it up so you can spout whatever sexist nonsense about modern women that makes you feel better
They are loved and admired by everyone but behind close doors they treat their partner like shit
True love is consistent, publicly and behind doors and constant. Narcissist on the other hand only shows it publicly not secretly. That's why jesus says bless are those who do good behind lock doors than those who shows only to the crowds.
What’s true love?
Or their children 😢
Numbers
30 Then Moses spoke to the heads+ of the tribes of Israel, saying: “This is the word that Jehovah has commanded: 2
Thats stigma
A Narcissist will call you a Narcissist when you change from allowing yourself to be manipulated, to start setting boundaries. They will say you are no longer nice but now very cold. That's how they see boundaries.
going through this ..
So true!!!!!
Exactly what a narcissis would say 😂
@@JohnDoe-pd4jo Exactly the response a Narcissist would say. 🤗
I like this
The funny part is, they often tell they are empathic
Fr mimicking anything that is good to look at and projecting their ugliness to others .
Yeah! So true 😢 they actually dont even know the definition of empathy. But yes, they are very good in reading people in order to use and manipulate them.
Some call them "dark empaths" which is quite funny 🫥
@@cheenumama2079 Oh yes, they certainly are a black belt when it comes to reading others. They seem to prey on people who are genuinly empathic, and like you said, they give you a free ticket for the rollercoaster in their egopathic world where manipulation never has a day off.
Take good care of yourself, and never let anyone take your value and self-respect away ✌🏻
Yes I think they pretend to be a empathetic person.. and pretend like they genuinely care! Maybe it's just a mask..
Yep they are usually the ones who broadcast especially n social media they’re an empath but ignore behind closed doors
Yep, my mom. Close to 80 and she’s beyond negative, unapologetic, and self loathing… plays the victim all the time, even though there’s nothing to play victim over.
She might be borderline not a narcissist
Probably because she was a child victim. From my understanding narcissists are made through childhood abuse. Apparently when abused during particular growth periods it alters their brain structure. Idk I’m researching it myself regarding my parents as well, and I have found a lot of good info on Tim Fletchers page/channel here on UA-cam. ❤
@@sarahalderman3126 I’ve never met anyone like her, it’s crazy. I could tell you numerous stories… She’s just so full of herself. The entitlement… She’ll never be at fault. She needs constant attention, loves conflict and drama, and has no problem breaking you down. Both of her sons want nothing to do with her and I can’t blame them. She abandoned my oldest brother. My father tried stepping up… My mother had a good life and just never appreciated it. She has no empathy. Ruined my father financially because only the best for her. I feel bad talking bad about her but I’m just so grateful and the polar opposite of her.
@@terseandtiny1746 I don’t believe so, but I’m not a doctor. She’s just very arrogant, self-aware and doesn’t give two craps. She only loves herself. She has destroyed many lives and has no regrets. It’s astonishing to me. No emotion, just a terrible actress…
Yes
I know a few. Lovely and kind with their friends, abusive in the home. But as a friend, once you get too close, you become one of the family, where your boundaries will be ignored all the time, and everything becomes about them.
My wife to a T.
I told her its over this morming
Good for you, I hope you're doing ok.
How'd that go...? 👀
I'm going through the same thing.
I hope you stick to it .
Run !!!
My husband says I am a narcissist whenever I put myself or my pregnancy before him(lack empathy, attention seeking and that I think I am better than him), when we are teasing each other(put downs and boundary violations), when I don’t take care of the house after he rants that I am useless for months(switching from being kind and perfect to nasty and mean). He uses my reactions to his behavior to claim my narcissism. I think he’s the covert narcissist(nice and shy guy narc) and I suspect he has been told that by others and he knows he is. Before me, he told me all of his friends were narcs including his parents. Now that I am his target, his friends and family are angels and I am the evil one. It’s creepy and weird and I want to leave but don’t know when or how especially now that there will be a child involved in a few months.
Make a plan, tell one person you trust, and start taking the steps to get out of the relationship. It will take time but you can do it. I'll pray for you. You're not the narcissist.
Make sure you MAKE A PLAN before he knows it and sneak out QUIETLY or else! And you can’t even image the else he is capable of (like street, violence or …)
Read “Enough is Enough” book to help you with the plan.
Many of us are misguided from childhood and as such many of us have various compensating behaviours. He sounds like he is the bigger narcissist from the story you shared but it doesn't necessarily mean you aren't one as well (maybe you are not, I am simply encouraging self reflection rather than giving validation. You did say you are putting yourself before him, he is doing the same thing from sounds of it - so aren't you both equal then? ) . It's not a black and white + either. There's also various strategies a narcissist will use to get supply (e.g. actively putting you down versus volunteering and bragging about it) and not all strategies are equally damaging. But you won't be able to stay sane, evaluate and improve yourself if you're going to reflect yourself against him. Two negatives don't make a positive. Ideally you can find a professional help and through that make the next steps necessary for your own and relationship wellbeing - even if it means with a different partner in many years.
I am speaking from personal experience - I know I am keen on self centered arguments and manipulations but I also often find those same traits in my partners - possibly, because it is familiar to me and therefore seems attractive. But none of those relationships ever were healthy or happy because we both kept putting our own needs above the other. Through a lot of self work I think I finally started a relationship with someone that is reasonably healthy and we put each other's needs equally, there's no sudden mood switching, baiting or manipulations from either of us. And when one of us slip up, we both feel safe to talk it out later from the point of view that we were actually being selfish.
Best of luck to you and your partner though. It sounds like you might be unsure of what is the current reality and indeed what some of the worst narcissists do, they gaslight you into questioning your reality. That's why I suggest speaking with a professional.
@@jestem2023 I will get that book. Thank you so much 🩷
@@MartinzW fortunately, I have seen professionals about this issue. I ended up in a battered women’s shelter last year due to physical abuse. Even though I thought I was defending my husband’s actions, the counselors concluded that he is indeed a narcissist.
After I told the counselors at the shelter that I planned to go back to my narc husband, they insisted that I restart individual counseling which I have been to before for related issues. It’s a pattern for me to find partners who have narc traits after being raised by a malignant narcissist. I noticed that I find narc traits in others that are familiar to me and forgive them which is why my previous attempts in counseling were unsuccessful. I spent entire sessions trying to battle for my partner and why I was wrong and they were right. So embarrassing…. This go around, my counselor is trained in abuse and trauma and is able to help me focus on how the narcissist strategies are affecting me and my future child.
Every few weeks I get nervous and feel the need to validate myself on youtube after seeing posts like this one and hearing the examples :( It’s too real sometimes.
Sign No. 7: they are really self-centred. Never help others but when they need support they play the victimcard and guilt-trip others till they get what they want 😢
A longtime, now former, coworker of mine. When I finally left that job after 14 years, I suddenly felt like I could breathe again. When I finally came out of the situation, my body and mind just kinda collapsed in exhaustion. I could barely get out of bed for a couple of weeks. My body recovered fairly quickly, but my therapy is ongoing.
She only showed "love" when she felt I was beneath her (eg. Unwell). They need to feel superior at all times. Extremely egotistical stuff.
Same here. She is totally against me feeling good about myself at all. If I self depricate, she pours on the affection, while "confirming" that my bad feelings about myself are valid, but nothing else is.
We all have it in us to different degrees! Atm everyone’s a narcissist! It’s learned behaviour. Adaptation to trauma, which is not funny I can assure you!! I have experienced this from my mother and I have seen it in me! I think we need a bit more compassion. For those unwilling to look at themselves, then boundaries are a must. Introspection and awareness need to be practiced by everyone. 🙏🏻❤️🩹
I agree
i understand you so well !! the internet is so filled with information about how narcissists are demons when it looks to me like cptsd
Absolutely!!
Narcissism is on a spectrum. Zero narcissism means zero self-love, zero self-esteem. Narcissism becomes toxic and dysfunctional when it is extreme...then it's a "disorder".
Introspection and Compassion on both/either sides. Empathy versus Sympathy or Apathy. Many will “try” to Acknowledge someone’s needs but Few will attempt to Act. Negligence is as harmful as Inflicting. Having the “capacity” isn’t warranted to ignore appropriate “responsibility”. Just because a person Could doesn’t justify a Should and doesn’t means a person Would either.
Damn she’s spot on!
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
U will be ok move along slowly u will get there
Elaborate on the lack of empathy, the nasty and put downs..lack of outer perspective and respect for others.(exactly no boundaries). You can be bleeding and suffering theyll complain, omit you and your issue...or talk about something else completely.
Dealing with a female narcissist's lack of empathy, constant put-downs, and disregard for boundaries can be incredibly distressing. Their inability to acknowledge or understand the pain of others, coupled with a tendency to redirect conversations away from your concerns, can make communication and connection difficult. It's important to recognize the toll this can take on your well-being.
@@dr.beckyspelmanthey think their special I don't
You forgot they straight copy others while claiming to be smart, original, and unique
Or they accuse you of copying them then take your ideas right from under you then broadcast to everyone that you’re the copycat.
@@LittleBird888 i do love petty (no i don't)
@@saijanaswamy7210 haha neither do I
Narcissists need someone around them to feel negative emotions. Thats why they hate when you have boundaries that you won't violate. There a great no test by Nancy Levin. Think of them as negative emotion vampires. They go up by bringing you down. Often it's in subtle ways like making you stay up late or give up a weekend. They will never pay it back.
I knew a female narcissist that showed 5 out of 6 sign on your list. I really didn’t know what was happening at the time. I thought I was failing to support her in the right ways. Luckily I came to that realization within a few months of moving in together and got out of there. The boundary issue was probably the most striking aspect of that situation. If someone won’t let you leave a situation or won’t stop banging on your bedroom door until you open it, you need get away from that person as soon as possible.
I show some of these signs because I have autism I don’t really understand emotions well whether it’s my own or someone else’s so I have a hard time with empathy and if someone has a boundary, they need to outright tell me I do not pick up signal as well so sometimes I might go past someone’s boundary and the always needing validation thing I have that because I was abused as a kid by my father. As for the attention thing my mother was so busy working trying to provide a good life for me that she was not around a lot and when she was, she was working on her phone so I crave attention from others because i did not get it in my childhood
I’m just saying this so people know it’s not always narcissism When people show these signs It could be another thing I definitely encouraged to be careful and maybe ask them about it
Yeah people throw this label around way too often. A lot of people have some of these signs in various degrees. It is just part of being human.
@@stigccif they have these "signs" RUN FROM THEM... whether the "label" fits or not doesn't matter, NEVER subject yourself to someone who behaved in these ways.
Testing if people will prioritize them over others.
When I describe my ex everyone just says “that’s just females” 😂😂😂
Also likes to cause division in the environment around her, and create an us and them culture. It makes her feel powerful to head up a group and say "They're not invited"
Mine is extremely generous and giving…as long as it’s not with her money. Great double benefit for her! She comes off like a Saint while painting me in the corner of stress and heightened anxiety about finances. You want to see something hilarious? Put a financially dependent narcissist on a budget. You get to see ALL SIX!!!!
Apparently, most of the cheerleaders I knew inhigh school are narcissists.
Don't worry brother. The moment they hit age 26 is when they will look like they are in 40s. That is the nature's way of punishing them
@@yoelromero5757men trying to comfort themselves be like:
You mad..@@bmtzzz2474
Feeling free from others validation and approval is such a freeing feeling. Knowing I'm within boundaries of those who love and support me vs those who don't. What validation actually matters? What exerternal pressure is throwing off judgments and overall all outcomes. Am I a bad person? I don't think so. Not by a long shot just for living my life outside societies norms. Am I understanding that I'm a strain on those around me? Heavily, I really feel it. I dont have to internalize it though. Others opinions don't define me. I grow and water others, the more I grow the more my love overflows or my deepest intentions within my control. 😌❤
Well this amasingly spot on, broke it off yesterday thankfully, thank you for a lovely video! F.R Swe
My mother? yes, correct!
Ladies and gentlemen ,
This was the mentality of my ex wife. Got burnt out and learned a lesson
Me too brother... me too...😢
It’s un comprehensible the tactics that narcissist use, especially against their own family i.e. children. She triangulates her own kids against each other so that she can control them, but we finally figured out how to deal with her and we all choose no contact and now it’s driving her crazy, and the healing has begun in the family. Without her.
WOW! Good for you guys. Nice job 💯 and I'm jealous.
Oh, you mean it’s no different from a male narcissist.
I just got out of a relationship with one. I feel ruined but understand that I need to build myself back to who I was before the relationship. It took me a year and nine months of constant and consistent suffering to finally reach the point of seeing how my mental and emotional health was on steep decline. I was becoming more and more like her and I lost my ways. Once I left I immediately felt a sense of freedom and a breath of life I haven’t felt before. While also hating myself for letting it go for so long.
Wow, very true. When you spot this, run - there's no upside and they'll suck the life out of you.
My recent ex accused me of "loving attention" and "needing everyone to give me attention". What they didn't know was that I was always the shy and introverted child and teenager and I'd done a lot of work to gain my self confidence. It wasn't me "needing attention" but more that I was so happy and full of humourous comments and having fun without negativity in my life that I seemed to be getting a lot of attention but never felt I needed it 🤷🏻♀️ just seemed to be happening. So what one views as needing attention may be that actually that person is just high vibrational and naturally attracts ppl without the need for it. So be careful of self-projection.
Everyone can start off really lovely and then turn "nasty" if they are treated badly, disrespected constantly, put down and verbally abused.
Yes (* BUT !)
in the case of a narcissist
$he is :
* NOT Interested in your Wellbeing,
* very exploitative,
* gives You attention back only if there is some Big personal gain( behind it),
* And
has NO EMPATHY For your struggles and dificulties ,
but
agresively and COVERTLY manipulates the situation onto
Her goals, topics and interests ( !!! At your Expense!!!).
Etc etc ...
...etc etc ...
The woman in my life right now.
Absolutely. Thank you.Lord for being free from.a narcissist
🙏💯🙌
These points are exactly the same for male narcissists
Sounds Strong and independent. So brave.
Why women feel entitled to attention is beyond me. This is a plague among alot of women. Find the quiet girl with no one.
Vulnerable (shy) narcs also exist unfortunately
Seeking for attention and being quiet aren't opposite to each other! People can be introvert and narcissist at the same time! Probably you are afraid of very extrovert women because you feel you might get cheated on or you think that women should be submissive to men! Some of that "attention seeking" some women like it's due to a great amount of guys getting dumb in the face of a very beautiful woman, which seems quite foolish to me! That "the only thing important of being a woman is being beautiful" makes no sense (and it's a bit misogynistic, like if women existed to please men) and maybe that's why some b8tchy women and very beautiful at the same time, screw guys!
The irony of you commenting on a video about narcissists when you’re openly declaring that you go out of your way to find quiet isolated women. I.e insecure meek women who are easier for you to control.
Always wondered why she could be incredible to others and treat me like dog meat at home. 20 years down drain
True lover is always constant wether in public or private it's pure and unchanging. Fake love always shows when it's convenient or useful then on private it's demonic cruel. And ruthless like the devil which is the narcissist.
Same 😢
Avoid narcissistic femal, Noted. Thanks!
This applies to men as well.
Cry more.
@@SRR1213what? She’s right.
I know. It’s so weird when people subdivide when there’s no logical difference.
It does , its just the general signs
Yes it certainly does.
And myself being a humble, thankful, appreciative man for quite sometime now on this good earth, with countless business, personal interactions, conversations with men and women, it seems the narc trait crown belongs to women unfortunately. I'd happily point the finger at men if it were mostly them.
I do believe the slight rise of male narcissism has to do with many (including myself) being raised in severe dysfunctional single mother households. Missing that vital supportive masculine father figure. And trying to break free and bypass those traits is continual work.
Also in some cases with couples it seems to be simply just a breakdown of communication and lacking listening/processing skills causing narc labels to be thrown around.
Described my most recent ex, PERFECTLY.
Lived with one for 7 years. When you want to run. They will give you presents.
When you notice she is Narcisist. Its too late.
Lana Del Rey - Paris, Texas in the background, great track!
Hard when it's a parent, NPD is not fun paired with schizophrenia.. schizoaffective, if you will. They are fantastic at putting a mask on and hiding. But what do I know I didn't study for 7 years! Haha
I had a feeling out them, from outside it was all glitter but i felt some other way about them and started seeing comformation later on, but ignoring it costed me a lot of my energy and time in the beginning so please no matter how much good of a reputation or show they put on, never ignore yoir intuition
true but to be clear it's often hard to detect unless they think you're completely dependent on them. If you're a smarter narcissist, or already successful or fulfilled, It's really not as obvious. They can seem extremely empathic If they're making the slightest effort. but it's there and still doing damage.
My wife did this to me, our kids, her Daughter, now her Niece and Nephew she adopted, her Daughter and her Mother are just like her. The cut down thing especially, it's their favorite, but they're Bi-Polar, super nice, then super mean.
With the exception of #6 this describes my husband.
These are just signs of any narcissist regardless of gender
She describes (I hate to say it) my mom. It hurts to the core, but somehow I have to learn to live with the memories.
I think i have been with one for over 20 years 😢. Every time i start exercising and trying to improve myself mentally, she puts me down or tries and accuses me of cheating on her. When i here her voice i am afraid to speak 😔 and i know what i want to say to defend myself, but my mind goes blank, and i get confused, unable to articulate my feelings
Six is the one that is never wrong they cannot go without putting others down it's the most important thing to them in life
Narcissists deleting comments ...very fast
as it TRIGGERS
BTheir huge overinflated Ego !
My narc as a child wanted to center of attention. She’s a family member and to my memory she would seek that constant look at me, listen to me at age of 3! Parents feed into that we all had to stop and listen to what this 3 yr old had to say at the adult table.
A client of mine who I finished up work with recently is an attention and validation seeker. This woman is married and it went as far as me ending up in an emotional affair with her that I struggled to get out of. I didn't realise at first what was happening and what I got myself into and the moment I did, I was already knee deep.
It's been 2 weeks since our last contact. I've blocked her from all of my social media and whatsapp accounts so that she has no access to me at all.
I confronted her about what this was and why there is this energy between myself and her but she kept on dodging my confrontations and the more I pushed and pushed for an answer on different occasions I knew something was up but it was already too late.
I've blocked her. She is DONE!
It’s strange I’m dealing with a female narcissist who is 71 years old and she’s extremely controlling and it’s just very difficult around her. She constantly talks about how she has to do everything and when I tell her I can do things if she wants to give me the task she’ll say no I want to do it and then she’ll be very upset about the fact that she has to do everything, it really is confusing how to handle her because she’s old and I feel like she needs the job and she likes her duties and on top of it somebody should be helping her, but she won’t let anyone and then blames everyone for not being able to do the job
Sounds to me like martyrer complex or victim complex. Had some coworkers like this.
Spot on!
She's described one of my adult daughters to a T.
Out of 4 children, all brought up the same, Only One Narcissist.
+ they call you a narcissist, just because you set boundaries
It's people who can't take rejection. They always bother you until they can turn it around because they always have to be the one doing the rejecting, never the one being rejected.
So, same as male narcissist.
Regardless, take care of yourself people. Because narcs certainly wont.
Wow
Based on that list I have sadly encountered many of them
This is a serious mental health crisis
Beyond conformity and compliance, a complete lack of interest in getting to know, or understand the person they say they "love".
The lack of empathy means zero connection, from their side of the relationship.
Death by a million neglects; narcissism is "...where your needs go to die."
Hello Doctor Becky!
Thank you 🙂
Pointing our how someone is hurting you or disrespecting ypur boundaries shouldn't be putting you down and if you feel that way maybe you shouldn't throw your guilt at the person and make them feel bad about wanting to be treated right
My older sister is a narcissist and trust me, I’m trying to walk away because I can’t take it anymore (I’m loosing myself) but I’m unable to do so cuz of culture and the fact that I’m still in highschool
The self image they better than people isna massive give away
My X. She did me dirty. She cut herself and threw herself down the stairs. I pieced it together after coming home from work I asked her what happened she replied with I fell down the stairs and then blamed me as a joke. 7 months after the break up is when I realized she told her secrecy admire that I was abusing her
True Lord forgive us ..if i was toxic or i was tolerating toxic ones
It’s exhausting. If you validate them and give them compliments they are not happy cause you did something they couldn’t control yesterday. Otherwise they try to bait you into a fight then cry victim!
God dam. Nailed every bit of my how my baby mama is. Theres no turning back now. Sigh.
The put downs are quite constant!!
My fiancée's step-mother to a T! I wish my fiancée's father realized that his wife has caused him to cut off all of his friends and family...
So many of them go to the Gym too. I dated a girl from the Gym. She came across as nice, and kind and reserved. All because i disagreed her narrative she cursed at me. I didint give her a second chance and dumped her immediantly.
what's the best solution? how to let them go?
2)my narc best friend was the most caring loving person for almost 4 years and then when i got into PG and he had to get admission through private seat oh god she changed into the most nasty crazy person i suffered a lot esp being in the same room same hostel
I am a servant child of a mother narc, I hate when you have to fix it all for all you love
Does anyone know why a female that is a total stranger, would stare at another female? Look at you from head to toe, then back again. If I try to talk/make contact, they are not friendly at all. What is that?
Please stop listening to people on the internet who thing they are doctors…
are you a person on the internet ??
it's fine hearing someone out but it's important to fact check.
@@devonjenkins6829 im also a medical worker
@@Lyssmynx are you a psychiatrist??
@@devonjenkins6829 I work with mental health needs. I have been trained in mental disabilities, as well as mental illnesses and disorders. There are signs that can look like narcissism that are actually just trauma responses to other things. Sometimes people with autism or ADHD can have signs of narcissism, but they’re actually not narcissist stuff like this is actually really dangerous to put on the Internet because it can really give a misconception of other mental illnesses that already have stereotypes. I’m not a doctor, but I work with people that have a variety of mental and cognitive dysfunction and that includes people with NPD what she described was a very generalized description and it’s harmful and people need to stop listening to these people that post stuff like this.
My mom, her sister basically they are because of their mom😢😢😢all of these made my whole life hell
That's exactly my stepmother. She threatened to bring my sister away when she chose to stay with my family. Turns out they're staying because my family are actively enabling her. I can't wait for 2 more years. Moving overseas is an escape.
what do you do when you had kids with a narcissist?
The 6 signs I learnt
1 Jealousy.
2 Blaming you (for everything what goes not their way) - they never take accountability
3 Using all you said again you.
4 Demanding that you put up with their shit. Disagree? you’re not considering their feelings.
5 praise you in public, hate you when ppl actually like you (seemingly more than her)
6 if you stop reacting to their tantrums, silent treatment or accusations; they freak out. Or they tell you, you turned into a robot and will never be happy (you’ll be lonely w/o them)
All of them are very true
Happenes to me all these 18 years of marriage
How stupid i am to not knowing the truest truth of her
She is a real academic award actress all the time
Being close to one is impactful if you get emotionally attached.
I don't have a type, I have a pattern. One that I would like to correct and avoid.
what happens when we are blamed by these but we are not the narcisist. for example blamed by always putting them down but i was just expressing my feelings or wanting attention because my partner is aways cold and then he gets mad because he says i get in his boundry. i wish videos like this were more clear
Spot on. Thank you!
Just left one! Thank God! I said nothing when I left, there's no helping her. She was nasty, a liar, manipulater, non reciprocal, materialistic, a cheater, and just flat out evil. I feel bad but at the same time I don't feel for her as karma is not going to let her get help. Oh well
Hit every point. Glad to be separated from her for good. I want someone nice or solitude + family
ugggghhh, i was raised by one. no wonder i have struggled with having an upbeat or stable mood.
I don't think you can actually ever really tell.. just saying that some people hide it better than others.
Yup you nailed it
Any difference from male narcissist?
@@mrose4034 yes. At least they are more smart
when I ended it with her she said - "im f-king amazing" and "I'm a deeply empathetic person".. she never showed any empathy. I don't think empathetic people label themselves as such - they demonstrate it instead.
Narc doesn't exist, the behaviour does and it's learned and passed down. Ancestral.
I actually read online an article about narcissist and it said the majority of moden girls have this today to some level. Im not sure if they develop it or are born with it. It actually kinda makes sense with so many depressed women today. 🙏
All females have hypergamy. It can manifest itself in narcissistic traits, especially in ones with no strong father figure.
You are talking rubbish. “i read on online article” i.e you made it up so you can spout whatever sexist nonsense about modern women that makes you feel better
Saying the majority of women have NPD is wild lmao
It's caused by trauma or deep wounds
You don't know what you are talking about
So I've become a narcissist...i wasn't like this before..maybe i have been with the wrong people,should i cut them off my life?
My ex wife grandiose narcissist, her need for supply is endless.
My landlady in a nutshell