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- Опубліковано 16 жов 2020
- Tim explains why many of you are wasting your life, and how you should be more effectively doing so. He talks his family's Thanksgiving traditions, how UA-camrs are saving the world, why the American party is over, and the future outcome of the election.
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#TheTimDillonShow - Комедії
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ICE CUBE SUPPORTING TRUMP FOR 500 BILLION PLATINUM PLAN..gold
when you do the ice cube skit?? can you please play bodycounts in the house when he mentions clinton5 times ...ahh ..ICE CUBE
Lucy gum is actually really good
The country is not failing we've gotten out of two wars median income is up $9, 000 three three historic peace deals and on and on and on You just want it to be failing because you want to keep your audience. Come on brother be honest.
The country is far more livable The world is more livable after 4 years of Trump. You'd rather go back to 7 wars to a disappearing middle class and More unemployment to shipping our jobs overseas? Wake up and smell reality Tim.
I fall asleep listening to tim the way he fell asleep to alex jones. You made it kid.
Same here.
My two favorite people
Theres nothing better than finally going to bed at 7am and wholesomely snuggling up to tim screaming about tik tok hype beasts.
Same lol
nothing rung more true than when he said the line about falling asleep to alex jones.. its crazy actually watching peoples brains melt
Finally, a mild mannered American.
I read this while I was watching at 6:20 😂😂😂
I'm in the shower dying at this comment lol
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@PodcastWhore21
You write comments in the shower?
🙄☔️
@@PodcastWhore21 addiction is real
I was fired as a Zoom Kindergarten teacher when the parents complained about my insistence on having the children take a closer look at the numbers 9 and 11.
A true American hero
Stay strong, better days ahead.
@A H WHY DOES NO ONE STILL TALK ABOUT THAT? i often still do.
Wth. Is this true?
you never forgot. bless you.
I called a realtor the other day to conduct some fake business and finally, FINALLY found the opportunity to slip in, " but hey man, it's a real knife fight out here, but that's life in the big city." He laughed and agreed and we continued to discuss my fake credit.
one of my fake clients is about to drop out of a signing for a warehouse in Philadelphia, the competitive clause is just too strict. Thats life in the big city
You’re a hero.
I had one call me and I did fake business. It is fun.
I also did some fake business. Contacted a realtor about a purchasing new home for investment opportunities. We talked about the water heater and the local school district. Expecting more interior photos soon
Tim would be proud
Our Social Credit Score lowers every time we watch this podcast. I think it's worth it.
China knows what we're doing .
If there is such thing as a social credit score the only responsible thing to do is to run it into the ground
Totally
@@grayson0916 If there was one here in Canada, I would have 0.
If you end up with a high social credit score you are clearly not enjoying your life. I am sure President Xi will understand.
I love when Tim matches the background and is a floating head pontificating off the cuff for an hour.
Sometimes it seems intentional, I swear...
He should paint his face and arms with fluorescent paint the next time. Add black light. Equals awesome.
umm I think you just accidentally had a brilliant idea...
Have you seen the new Kanye West and Joe Rogan interview?! ua-cam.com/video/S74Ctp8xklk/v-deo.html 😂
And 13 minutes and eleven seconds
Many people would thank nurses and doctors for their service. But what about the man who has kept us sane through it all. Thank you Tim. You are the true hero of covid-19
I hate you
Hospitals have and always have been empty
@@MahoneyP573 we hate you too.
Plenty of hate to go around
@Szilárd Maku Congrats, join the line with all the other Failed abortions
As a non-medical hospital worker I can confirm. The nurses and doctors already had massive egos this just made it worse.
This show is the only thing I look forward to at this point
Sucks to be you
@@ChideNorms could be worse
Check out fighter and the kid.... You'll love it.
I hate how true this is
That’s a lie bc Alex Jones exists
I'm here for a fake business class
Your neck is longer than Tim’s subprime mortgage career
I'm sorry. Fake?
His fake business is polished to an elite level
Me also.(me too is no longer in my vocabulary I took it out 5 years ago.)
Gotta fake it til you make it. Like Enron and Bernie Madoff, kings of fake business.
That rant that started around 45:00 about the parents and the party may have been the best metaphorical bit I've ever witnessed with my senses in my entire life
yes! peak Tim!!
Facts I was crying
Same! Finally found this one again 😂
Tim Dillon is not gay, he just transcended heterosexuality.
hahahahaha
Said a clear queen
He's a deeply closeted homosexual man. With a dog-house.
@@nodiggity9472 RIP
@@danielfernandes8987 😭
The "House Party" analogy rant , is one of the greatest things ever...
Tim is a stone cold killer...
Might be his greatest work yet
"Get a pumpkin muffin, sit on the porch and watch the bloodshed, its autumn" lool
Its crazy how thin and agile tim is
And soft spoken
So svelte
Black is always slimming. You can't go wrong wearing black and it matches his well-appointed studio.
Very athletic
@@musicloverkathy wooosh
Tim needs to do a November 3rd podcast with Alex Jones on JRE for an election special.
Tim, Burr, Rogan, and that woke femenist that Burr owned. Would watch 10 times.
YES
Also jimmy dore imo
Eddie bravo
Joey Diaz
“Should a baby be able to transition in the womb?”
Zeus Indra thanks for the transcription.
@@bossHogOG you don't like these quotes do ya bud
Weird fact. Males technically do Transition in the womb...lol. I wanna see a Sacha Baron Cohen sketch with him explaining it to the Proud Boys.
@@brentbarrus9754 🤣🤣
@@brentbarrus9754 omg big brain
I am so honored to be this early to a podcast MASSIVELY larger than Rogans
Who?
Will be this guy has it
He even went on the joe joe show or whatever it’s called to help him out. Timmy really is a stand up guy
@@caderlocke8869 thank you
He ran him out of L.A.
Ben just called a hangun a p90. Life in the big city
It's my dad's last night before going to a home. He wanted me to sleep next to him. Thank God for this podcast.
Sending you ❤️ brotha
You’re a good man
That’s what’s family is for
Stay strong. Much love
This is the only show that I don't even think about skipping the ad's.
Bro me too hahahah I never fast forward
Ridge Wallet, Yum...
That Segway into blue chew was comedic deliverance at its finest hahaha
Theo's ads are hilarious too.
This and Tuesdays with Stories are the ones that I rarely skip ad reads on. Both are hilarious but Tim is the Queen!
Bens is somewhere in-between realizing there is no hope, and hoping things end up okay.
He wishes he was in the woods still, finding jesus and or satan
@@trevorberger6192 as if the dark lord is paying attention?! HA
He’s a man of the people
@@trevorberger6192 sounds like a start to a new religion. Every religion has a guy finding something in the woods. Aka "God spoke to him"
This studio destroys Joe Rogans ...
I will say they look better on Tims show .
jordst andrykew haha, triggered
Who is Joe Rogan
@@colezohoh apparently he's the manifestation of eveyones father that left for cigarettes and never came back, but now he has resurfaced and the entire planet of broken children constantly barrage him with comments and twitter posts he will never read. He doesn't care about you Billy!! This is why he left you and your mother the first time!!
You dont like the Devils colon
The rant about the American Party coming to an end was honestly so incredibly said. It had me dying. Nobody rants like Tim.
I look forward to Tim Dillon episodes much more than I do a vaccine for covid
YASSS KWEEN
“who wants that needle anyways”
Damn Straight!
@@JudiahSC2 he’s actually gay
Well you don't have any smarts, you should get CoViD because this virus is killing all the weak
“I burned one of those redbox video rentals...then I threw a McGriddle at a McDonald’s employee....slapped her right across the face with a McGriddle and said ‘no justice no peace’”
Hardest I have laughed in a long time. This episode is awesome too. Talent.
I'm going to be a Hip-Hop for Halloween. 💵💵👑🎤😎💎💵💵
Moonlit. wasn't that the best shit?! :)))
Long money 💰
@@kidsister316 I howled! It's an insanely accurate "Mom Answer" if ever there was one.
My grandma says you have to be a nigerian to be in the hippity hop.
@@abelgonzales3695 lmfao 😂😂😂
"Get a pumpkin spice latte and throw it at a cop!"
I work at white memorial in East LA and the hospital is a ghost town. Doctors and nurses are just kicking it in the back
it’s awesome. pandemics are awesome
I guess they stopped making tiktok dance videos
Same. We are probably at 50% capacity now months later. Surgery is the only part making money because people can't wait.
I had surgery early this year; it was very weird walking into a hospital that empty and dead quiet. I've never seen nurses just sittting around looking that bored before either.
Nice, not tonight handgun I have a reason to go on.
That's the spirit lol
Rub 1 out, and never leave a mess.
@@realBarronTrump a handgun can never evade a nihilist for a significant duration.
@@knunyabeasewhacks8744 I left a mess, now I'm feeling pretty hand gunny.
One of the only people I don't skip sponsor readouts for. "How else are you gonna watch Cuties?" pmsl
I’m assuming Bill Burr is the other one right?
And maybe Theo
Or Joey Díaz
He’s the first guy to make laugh out loud to an ad
don't say pmsl like that's a thing
We need a skit of a Thanksgiving family dinner with 1 son being a Antifa member and another son being a Proud Boy. Make it happen pls Tim.
If SNL hadn't lost their balls 30 years ago they'd have thought of it
The rant about getting caught throwing a party is one of the best yet
I like how much fun it was getting AIDS, as opposed to getting COVID by taking the bus.
"It's autumn. The season of picking apples, pumpkins, covid and civil war." 😂
"This is a school play for billionaires." Subtly one of the smartest things he's said.
Such a fucking brilliant line
“How ya gonna watch cuties?!?” 😳imagine the board room at express vpn 🤣🤣
In Bens world he has the best job in the world where his expectations are limited by his laugh . I’m so jealous
Facts
Ur a 🤮🤮🤮
Plus he has to clean Tim's various domains in a banana hammock
What I meant is he has a cool ass job .
These shows are so f****** cathartic. Tim is my favorite comedian right now. The madder he gets the more eloquent and directly on point he becomes.
Joe Rogan wishes his money was long like Tim's. He's mad 'cause he ain't got no paper!
renegade!
I cant decide if i should be an engine or a hip hop for halloween.
no eviction papers!
@@nickeq42 you’ve got to appreciate that even when he’s making fun of people in tone deaf & racist costumes, he didn’t lower himself to doing it in blackface. That, or he’s saving it for the 31st itself when he stares into the abyss of cancel culture and says “Square up, [hard R].”
YOUR FATHERS A HIP HOP
The Ralph Lauren Disciple
Tim Dillon: "Imagine caring."
LOL That might make a great shirt actually.
When does he say this?!?! I’m trying to find it.
Tim is the goat!! Yes or Yes!!!
Do a sketch of Antifa and proud boys members who are relatives forced to come together by their parents on thanksgiving
YES. This needs to happen
With great grandpa who fought in WW2, but antifa calls him a nazi.
Starbucks should sponsor the upcoming Civil War, one pumpkin latte for every 10 broken windshields, yes or yes.
oh crap don't give them any ideas!
I ordered my 1/2 sweet and this is like, waaaaay too sweet.
@@josef2012 nah they'd just trash the starbucks! Downtown L.A. Starbucks was TRASHED after Lakers won
"This is how you make a marriage work." - Marriage Counseling by Podcaster Tim Dillon
Can’t wait for fake business to come to Austin
@michaelatw86 so deep bro. Sick
"Mariah Carey" + "an octave or two" = Tim's speaking range.
Especially when he hits that sqwuak
All that theater training and Sesame Street gigs from his childhood.
😂😂🤣
Tim is the best gay in history. Yes or Yes?
Every gay gets the rope except Tim, hes cool.
coolest gay dude ever
Paul Lynde, but it’s close.
History robbed us by making Oscar wilde and Tim Dillion and not allowing them to live in the same era
Long island + the gay = the perfect gay
I look forward to this every single wknd
Since I heard u on Theo Von a few months back, youve become my fav comedy podcast, also my fav person to hear comment on current events. appreciate the content from you man.
Ben is the best!! Show would not be the same without him
Wouldn’t be the same without his giggling in the background
Bro not even. He's so annoying. I want to laugh when I feel like i should laugh. His little gay giggles in the background are super annoying.
Hes alright by tim is a god
He’s no Riley Mao.
Real talk.
We can all lol together
The st. Louis couple were in a private neighborhood and the protestors broke through the gate! Important info, technically they’re in their rights
Agreed.
lol yes, but details don't matter anymore
It’s that time again, the “Fall” of civilization.
The colors,the smell,the tricks+treats!
I just think about how many times people thought the world was ending over the past hundred thousand years
Chelsea Handler is going "your white, your white" lol
Life in the big city baby.
Here's how I had fun this pandemic: I went out to the fucking forest, some chickadees started following me. I stopped, reached up, and one landed on my hand. A handful more joined the crowd. I spent about 10 minutes chilling with wild birds. I'm happier now. Some god damn straightforward shit.
We raised a female chickadee whom fell in our driveway. She didn't leave our yard for 2 weeks. She would come to us like that to eat until she found a mate. The male was seriously confused, watching his girlfriend eat from human hands. (He'd turn his head upside down and gawk at us.) Then she moved on, of course.
But that's amazing that wild Cheechees came up to you! You must have great vibes
Fcuking hell I literally have never seen someone sit down and just riff and be this consistently funny with relatively deep and layered improv
It only hurts if you care - Tim Dillion
The cackling and guffawing I do during this podcast. My belly hurts.
I worked in the ER of the, "worst-hit hospital in NYC", from the beginning of the pandemic and I can tell you first hand, it was never 1/100th as bad as they portrayed it to be. Towards the summer it was so dead and they were so overstaffed that most of the staff were actually able to not do a thing for 8 hours straight.
thats odd do yall talk about that
@@energeez I was advised to leave when i became pregnant with twins but it was obvious to us all as soon as we started. This particular NYC hospital was SO corrupt and violated so many health codes it was no wonder they had a ton of cases, (allegedly).
I live and breathe for this podcast.
My most favorite thing to do on Sunday is listen to this wise, clever, and funny dude! Keep telling the truthy man! 💞
You know, I’ve gone back to watch Rogan twice since his move - and since my finding Tim’s podcast - and I cant do it anymore.
It’s not the Klingon set either. After mainlining the black abyss with Tim, listening in to Rogan is like hanging with someone’s stoner pseudo-philosophizing uncle who is WAY to mellow! Can’t stand it.
I totally agree. Rogan can have great guests and THAT is what makes his show. But Tim is a one-man-band...well, he does need Ben coz he adds a lot!
Yes and yes
22:25 the prelude to a legendary rant about his aunt 4 months later
I miss Ben...
Me too 😕
We wish him well…🏌🏻
Yeah man revisit these old episodes from time to time - they were so good
This war you're all fighting isn't real. It's on your computers. It's not an actual war.
Yes or yes?
Thats the real simulation we live in
Wow man it’s sober October and you still managed to blow my mind
See you Nov.3rd! 😷🔥🤘
"Isn't that just something on Twitter?"
Just got home from a “socially distant” drag show and now I get a new episode of Tim? Best pre -apocalyptic fall Saturday ever!
That house party analogy rant was one for the books, fucking hilarious
Tim...we are the least 'ladies and gentlemen' of the ladies and gentlemen. Yes or yes.
Brotherhood of Deplorables. 🤘
...And Proud
Over weight men who are intelligent underachievers
Speak for yourself, peasant.
Tim dillon is the cookie monster of comedy, gobaldigook!
Yes or yes
Yes.
I'm going to watch this episode straight through, even though I just got ready for bed. Yes or yes?
yes
What is "Tim Dillon for President" ?
Alex Trebek: Correct. That takes you out of the red and takes us into our first commercial break. We'll be back in a moment.
Literally I said yes in excitement when I saw the episode then I saw your comment. One like for you.
"That's the move... that's the move"
I die laughing whenever I rewatch this episode and unaware of what's coming I listen to this glorious rant at the end again xD One of his best.
Hi Tim, I was a personal friend of Mike McHugh. He was truly a one of a kind great guy, thanks for sharing and keeping his memory alive!
I'm going to have to come back & finish this later. Listening w/headphones while going to sleep, but I keep laughing out loud in the dark next to my husband. How am I supposed to sleep when something's so funny? Ugh!
Same here. I just got kicked out of the bedroom.. my stifled belly laughs shook the bed and woke him up. I had tears running down my face, he thought I was crying. "Stay strong" @16:47 broke me up.
@@moonbear894 yes! Ha, that whole bit is when I had to shut it down. 🤣
Yep...in tears laughing in the dark. 3am...i should be asleep. Can't stop listening
"You can blow up the bank after you see your Aunt Donna"
I used to have to do a rage rant myself which is hard on the friends and family now I have Tim to do it for me! What a service! What a guy! 😂🤣🔥
So glad your doing this podcast brother! Love from Wichita Kansas
We need 2 a week bro. What are we doing here?! Yes or yes?
Pay up and join the patreon for the Tuesday episode piggy
Bloody brilliant, best summation of the world I've ever heard
That was amazing. Thank you Tim. I could listen to hours of your rants every day. Why that is, I don't know!
“I imagine many of antifa is forced to go” lmao
yesterday was my birthday... dank a few beers and played a game so it was lame solo. this episode was the gift i needed
Happy Birthday! Mine was the 13th. I'm old so I don't even care
I'm listening to this for the second time today. I can't listen to a full episode anymore of what I thought were my favorite podcasts, JRE and Dark Horse, and now I've just got these podcasts going on repeat! 😃
That party rant towards the end had me dying hahhahhaa
"Coming at you from the fall, we're in the fall. Apple picking season" are you referring to the Fall of Man cause Yea we sure are lol
This really reminds me of Ken Kesey's 1965 "Fuck It" speech at Berkley. The organizers asked him to give a speech at an anti-Vietnam War rally. He shows up, but instead of joining the political movement he shuns it. He basically gave a speech to a bunch of activists who were prepared for him to say something profound about how they should organize, protest, resist etc - instead Ken whipped out his harmonica and gave the following speech interjected with him singing "Home on the Range" to mock the other speakers and to punctuate their absurdity:
"You know, you're not going to stop this war with this rally, by marching... That's what THEY do... They hold rallies and they march... They've been having wars for ten thousand years and you're not gonna stop it this way... Ten thousand years, and this is the game they play to do it... holding rallies and having marches... and that's the same game you're playing... THEIR game...
(singing with harmonica) Home, home on the range... Home... home... on the ra-a-a-a-ange...
I was just looking at the speaker who was up here before me... and I couldn't hear what he was saying... but I could hear the sound of it... and I could hear YOUR sound coming back at him... and I could see the gestures... and I could see his jaw sticking out like this... silhouetted against the sky... and you know who I saw... and who I heard?... Mussolini... I saw and I heard Mussolini here just a few minutes ago... Yep... you're playing their game...
Home... home on the range...
We've all heard all this before, but we keep on doing it... I went to see the Beatles last month... And I heard 20,000 girls screaming together at the Beatles... and I couldn't hear what they were screaming, either... But you don't have to... They're screaming Me! Me! Me! Me!... Me!... I'm Me!... That's the cry of the ego, and that's the cry of this rally!... Me! Me! Me! Me!... And that's why wars get fought... ego... because enough people want to scream Pay attention to Me... Yep, you're playing their game... There's only one thing to do... there's only one thing's gonna do any good at all... And that's everybody just look at it, look at the war, and turn your backs and say... Fuck it...
Home... home on the range...
Just look at it and turn away and say... Fuck it."
Basically, no one can end a war, racism, corruption or poverty by fighting an equal-but-opposite war against them (online or otherwise). We can only truly "win" by turning our back to these ideologies and saying "fuck it". That's apathy.
I have to say this is a perfect Sunday morning show to watch during 2020 in leu of my wife dragging me to church. I feel complete.
God that part about the party with the different rooms is so brilliant I can not believe he just spouts this stuff off the top
43:17 Enjoy it folks. This is a absolutely beautifully eloquent rant that made me cry it's so amazingly put. The threat of coronavirus is real!
👏 Tim, Timmy, Timothy. You're our generations Carlin, a true living legend. Yes or yes? 👍🙌
In here to file a fake complaint to Tim’s fake company.
Can I speak to the fake manager?
Love this pod and you so much!! So smart, so funny, and some very good advice to boot!
I always forget when these shows are posted, but I'm always happily surprised on Sunday morning to find a new episode.
Ben looks genuinely concerned with Tim's outburst in the thumbnail, lmao.
my dream is a podcast with Tim and Bill Burr
That house party rant is epic. Loving this podcast!
POGS!!!!! id take everyone's on lunch and recess! Tim! TY
I got an “I Voted” tattoo on my Taint! Hurt Butt Worth!
"I am Meghan McCain ...."
The "party" speech is absolutely fucking amazing. I need Tim as my friend.
Tim speaks the truth like Hicks and Carlin, while making us laugh so hard it hurts. He is the best out there, hands down. I've listened to THIS episode TWICE this week, and feel SO MUCH BETTER. I'M GONNA HAVE FUN GOD DAMNIT!!!