10 Things every HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON should know (Must-know HSP tips)
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- Опубліковано 21 тра 2024
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In today's video, I share 10 Things every highly sensitive person should know. These are my most-know HSP tips for all the sensitive people out there. I feel very passionate about empowering sensitive people and I'm so happy to have this platform to connect with all of you about this topic, and to hear what's on your mind. Self care, mental health, emotional health and all that good stuff!
Lots of love,
🌼 Vera
VIDEO CHAPTERS
Intro 0:00
A trait you're born with 1:30
Uniquely different 4:32
A true gift 5:43
Making things easier 7:30
Stimuli won't bite 9:40
A slower, simpler life 10:30
Emotional boundaries 11:41
Your sensitivity is powerful 13:05
Nothing you can't do 15:14
HSP, autism & ADHD 16:46
Final thoughts & recommendations 19:39
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What else would you like me to make a video about, when it comes to high sensitivity? Drop your suggestions here! 🤗🍵
I came to your channel this morning to view one of your morning self-care routine videos, I was pleasantly happy to see this new video just posted - love your routines, they remind me to slow down. Other topics you touch on so well are self organization, not over planning, managing mental clutter and finding calm in moments of over stimulation ...
I would love some tips on managing overstimulation in social situations 😊 eg. how to handle being the center of attention when it can be SO overstimulating
Navigating relationships with family and frienships with those who have a hard time understanding HSPs.
I’m definitely a highly sensitive person. Understanding that has helped me navigate my life better. 🙏💕✨
Anything, really! Maybe tips on how not to feel guilty for needing boundaries, or how to speak up for yourself in confrontational public settings 😅
I am happier staying away from people. I enjoy spending time with my fur babies and only leave my home when I need things.
Completely agree! I spend most of my time with my dogs and will go out when I really need necessities or to visit family!
Me too
Ditto
Same! I am so happy in my own company. At home with my dog is best.
Same , my cat is such a buddy to me even likes going for car rides - it’s okay that I’m picky about people time I’ve learned
Thank you so much for this video. I'm in tears. I'm 62 years old and never had anyone explain "me" so well. And I've been in therapy since jr high. No one has ever said that I am okay. Bless you 🙏
Known since 1996. Here's a story: Last year, for reasons that were not a fire, the fire alarm at work went off for an hour. I just continued doing my work. It was pretty awful. Another person, not HSP and much tougher than I, was more freaked out and told me I was giving off such a sense of calm. I wasn't feeling calm! But I realized that they were freaking out a little because they were not used to be over-stimulated. But I was! So I had coping strategies that just clicked in because I need them all the time. And I handled that situation better than they. Do NOT let anyone convince you that HSPs are not strong. As Vera said, different strong. But strong.
Love this ❤️
Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this!!!!! YES!!!!!
Yes! Exactly!!
I can relate. I had an actual stove fire (no worries….no one and nothing was harmed) but it was quite a dramatic sight. The girl that was here helping me freaked out and I just stood there like ok. Well will you just look at that. Wow. Later we joked about how it seemingly didn’t phase me. I think for me it was more or less having been through some tough crap in life and so to me this was “just another tricky day” and I already knew how to cope with various erratic and unexpected things.
Yes, me and my husband do better in emergencies or tough times. It is like a super power kicks in.
There is a quote by Mary Anne Radmacher that goes “Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow. '”. Lovely video btw 🌸
My father always scold me and say you have problem with every thing as I always say to lower the volume of phone and TV ...and complain about bright lights and strong smell ...and i can relate to everything you are saying... thank you very much for comforting informations...❤
I’m sorry he reacted that way, I hope your doing well now!
Same for me! How could we make them understand that we are différent?
@netzameaudre6913 Show them this video.
I've been told to not be so sensitive and after years of being quiet, I respond 'that's me'.
i am hsp and disable, when my nephew was 2 years old he tell me every day "when i grow up i want to be strong like you"
Lovely little boy and speaking the truth and being so supportive, this warms my heart. ❤
It warms my heart too! Thank you so much for sharing it 😊😊
How many times have I heard comments like: "Don't let one little thing ruin your entire day! " "Why can't you just make a decision? " and "You overthink everything! "
But understanding these things made me much stronger.
As an adult who dealt with this criticism my whole life from my very different family, I tend to respond now with "I'm not like you". And that's okay. I have better methods to work with now than as a kid. I also like to say "surprise me" or "fine you pick, then if it's wrong, it can be YOUR fault". That one's mostly for my sister, haha.
Wow I’ve been there. I think I’m still coming to terms with it. A lot of times I walk away. So I can calm myself.
Oh my goodness. 67 years and you have just described me. I have suffered so much; I can remember things from when I was a toddler that are now explained. I will have my husband-my biggest ally-listen to this video asap. Bless and thank you, Jenn.
You are just finding out right now?! I’m so happy for you! (sorry you’ve lived so long without knowing) there are many books and a lot of really good information out there. 🦋
Snap , I am also finding out I have these traits , because of childhood trauma . I understand your words . So sorry you have suffered ❤
@@angierox6964I too am also finding this out at 41 & living in NYC so lots of discomfort 😢 life changing 🙏🏼
I have multiple little bags all around me that contain Chapstick, lotion, dental floss, dental picks, earplugs, and nail files. I keep one in my purse, one next to my chair in the living room, one in my nightstand in my bedroom, and one in each glove compartment of both cars.
Nice! 😁
You are not alone! I thought it was just me, lol.
So funny! For me it’s lip balm, water, and hair clips generally nearby
@@heatherwhite2788OMGosh yes!!! All those tooo!!!
I always have floss, picks, Chapstick, hand sanitizer, hand cream, hair brush, tissues, pen, and paper in my purse. I like to be prepared for every situation.
When I was around 6-7 years old my family called me Mimosa. This is a fern like plant that closes its leaves when lightly touched. And was also told “ too sensitive”. I resented a lot being so sensitive. I now appreciate the part of me that feels the joy and music and dance and color more. It also lead me to be very creative.
Oh that's so interesting about the mimosa... Sorry to hear you were also told you're too sensitive, like so many of us. Glad to hear you now appreciate that part of you
I was also called Mimosa because of how sensitive I am and now I have a tattoo with that because it's actually one of my favorite flowers
Mimosa pudica is a medicinal plant . The leaves are good for curing diseases. I can totally relate to what you might have felt like.So don't fret, be proud. I was called an owl many times. Turns out owl is wise , loves solitude & boss of its own kingdom😅 Sending you positive vibes ✨️
I so relate. I always knew I was ultra sensitive. It's been a life of a juxtaposion, the anguish of stimuli and social processing vs the depth of emotion, empathy, intellect, and appreciation of beauty. I understand my complexity better now that there is a label for sensitive people. At 70, I believe all this emotional work will culminate in a life well lived. Enjoyed your post. Thanks!
As an autistic person with an ADD-diagnosis I just want to share my thoughts on “labelling” and diagnosis. It doesn’t matter what the doctor labels your symptoms as. What matters is how your symptoms, weaknesses and strengths, are described so that you can understand yourself and your needs better.
I can still benefit from advice given to someone with HSP as well as a HSP-person can benefit from advice that are given to someone on the autism spectrum or have ADHD.
And finally, I can't help but point out that autism and ADHD are also not something you can control or be cured of. It is rather that our brains have a different operating system than neorutypical brains.
We are all different and that’s a good thing!❤❤❤
How can you with a diagnose agree that you don t need a diagnose, weird you one day had the choice
@@Karincl7 I think she is saying that yes, these things are real, but you don't have to focus on the diagnosis. You may think you have something and find out you don't, then think "well then what is wrong with me?" If you share some commonalities with a diagnosis, you can still use some of the same techniques to overcome similar difficulties.
You also can't just use a diagnosis as an excuse (like too many people do these days) to avoid things you really don't like, or to force the rest of the world to cater to you. It's ok if you deal with things differently than other people, that just means you need to find a creative solution, not a creative excuse.
Thanks for this! As someone between multiple diagnoses for years, I'm realizing that the name of the issue is much less important than the tactics I use to work through it.
I’m an HSP too! It’s a wonderful life… especially when you’re all by yourself. 😉
And dogs or cats😊
I have learned that early morning flights -while cheaper-are just not something I will do anymore. I feel so drained from getting up early and this added stress to an already stressful trip planning experience. And I already get so stressed out that I’m going to forget to pack something. It’s not like I’m going to a deserted island and won’t find a store to buy what I’m missing but for whatever reason I need to make sure I have what I need. I now am ok with packing a few extra items and just checking the bag. Knowing I have certain healthy food items (I’m a picky eater) and my tea and maybe certain extra clothes is such a relief in my little sensitive mind, it’s worth the $25 check fee. Thanks for validating us because a HSP could be quite critical of oneself with some of these tendencies. Ive gotten much better embracing what makes me feel better, and who cares what anyone else thinks 😅
Same‼️ When I travel I need to bring many of my comforts with me.
When you talked about strength vs. toughness, I thought of this quote: "Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength."
-Saint Francis de Sales
I recently discovered your channel and I've been enjoying your videos. I really appreciate the HSP and burnout content. I'm currently trying to recover from burnout and habitual stress. Your positive attitude and soothing voice are very calming for my nervous system. Thank you 💗
I thought I was the only one who needs days to recover from a doctor appointment! Thank you for sharing your insights and encouragement, Vera. ❤️
So helpful right!?! Allows me to give myself grace & compassion 🙏🏼
I’m in this club! The one thing that does drive my husband nuts (though he’s gotten more used to it by now) is how many times I change my clothes. For example, when hiking, I’ll take off layers and put them back on a dozen times and he won’t adjust even once. Friends notice this too. I’m so grateful now knowing this is fine. I’m just definitely HSP.
I'm 67 but did not know I was HSP until 20 years ago. I still have strong memories of being a young child at a professional baseball game with my parents and crying the whole time because of the noise and sheer number of people. My dad was upset, as I had ruined what was supposed to be a fun family outing. Even so young, I felt such shame. I spent most of my life trying to "undo" my sensitive nature and toughen up. My self-esteem suffered horribly. A therapist finally told me about Elaine Aron when I was 47 . I immediately bought her book. What a positive change it has made for me and my life since. I'm glad you discovered being your wonderful highly sensitive self much younger!
Hi, Vera! I´m 57 and last year I discovered I am a very high sensitivity person. When I was living in Argentina where I was born I didn´t noticed anything. People said I was a sensitive girl and that was nice. I felt really well being myself. But when I came to Spain almost 30 years ago everything changed. I found very insensitive people and then I started to get ill. I thought the people around me was cruel and horrible. And now I can see the difference between a toxic environment and a good one... Now, I´m trying to survive. I live in a big city and the noises are the worst part... Big hug! 🦋
I have your same name and im an hsp too❤
I am 60 years old, and am an HSP. I have known it all my life, but after watching your channel for a couple of years, I now feel very special.
I agree. What was also amazing was to do the Myers Briggs (free online) personality test and discovering I am an INFJ. After lots of research, it explained my past 70 years of thinking "I am broken "!
Everything you said here sooo resonates with me. I grew up in a very extroverted high energy social family. I was definitely misunderstood, often witnessing the rolling of eyes, and the impatience of my siblings and parents, because of my sensitivity to the world around me. I was always very intuitive, but rarely recognized or valued for my innate observations. This made for a very lonely childhood. BUT, the beauty of becoming an adult is that I was able to see myself, value myself, and enjoy a sense of freedom to be my authentic self. The older I get the more I do not care if I am misunderstood. It just doesn't matter anymore. Thanks for validating all the great qualities that come from being sensitive, and empathic, and I trust in my heart of hearts, that I am a really good, deserving person, who functions just fine! Be well.
Thanks a lot, Vera! 🌸🌸🌸
I'm starting to feel a normal person thanks to you!
My family refused to accept my sensitivity.
They were annoyed with it.
Since my childhood I've been constantly blamed for being too shy, too unsociable, too reactive.
For noticing little details I've been blamed as being fastidious.
I' ve been blamed for showing off, for improper emotions.
I've been suffering from hypersensitive skin and digestion.
My parents were telling me, that everyone was normal, but me.
I was shamed for being too sensitive.
I was demanded to train myself to become different, more unflappable, more brave, more enduring.
I never knew, that I was sensitive.
I felt defective...
Four years ago I got completely broken both physically and emotionally.
I got serious issues with my health.
I'm now getting out of the "darkness".
I'm learning to live anew.
I'm learning to accept my sensitivity.
I'm learning to take care of myself.
I'm very grateful to you for your review!
They do support me very much!
I wish I found you when I was younger. I was the “quiet” and youngest one of my family. I entered middle school and I just felt lonelier and lonelier as the days went by. I always had abrupt tempers and painful crying sessions. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and I wanted help so bad. My family didn’t help me until 2020 when we were all quarantined at home and everyone’s emotional problems finally came out. I already healed myself at that time so hearing all my family members talk about mental health, boundaries and therapy was absolutely hilarious to me 😂! They finally acknowledge what I went thru and apologized to me. Im grateful to be considered a highly sensitive person ❤😊
I can so identify with this. On top of everything else, I was an only child and it was assumed that my actions and behavior was because I wasn’t socialized enough. It’s a shame that it took me until my later years to find out that I’m ok, I’m just a HSP.
@@sunnyday4589 Oh how it feels so nice to have someone I can relate with! I can’t believe how quick our family can be so quick to undermine our feelings. I’m glad you found the answer as well 💗💗💗
Going through to shopping center is like a rollercoaster of emotions as I walk through the store absorbing everyone’s good, but more often the bad feelings.
I should get into the World Poker Tour because I can read people like a poker pro. It’s not all fun and games but we must learn to use this as an advantage! It’s a super power! Our downfall can be giving people the benefit of the doubt, especially in personal relationships. The narcissist will definitely find you and zero in on you because of your display of empathy, so beware. I wish I knew this earlier in life. Cheers!
I've always been sensitive from being a little girl. I could pick up on energies, I had so much empathy and would cry easily at sad things, even happy things! Even as a teenager I was super caring and felt deep emotions. I have, however, always been an extrovert and was ok with stimuli. Since turning 30 and feeling burnt out from the teaching profession and life changes generally, I've become so sensitive to loud noise, chemicals, harsh environments etc I think I'm struggling to accept this is who I am because I too have seen it as weakness or an inconvenience to others like my partner, who can't rely on me to be ok that day to do something stimulating. I do think balance is important, I have a hyperactive mind and know I need to slow down. Nature is a healer for me but don't get out into it enough. Thanks for these amazing videos, you're such a beautiful soul ❤
You are a bright and beautiful young woman❣️
It took me till I was in my early 50’s to discover my true Self. Thanks to my girlfriend who is very intuitive and highly sensitive.
I am almost 71 now and I found your 10 things to be inspiring and a good reminder for me!!!
Oddly enough, I found your video today as I am taking a “self-care”day off from my office. And it’s no surprise I’ve been a massage therapist for over 30 years.
Thank you so much and keep making these wonderful HSP videos.
I highly recommend others to subscribe to your channel !!! ❤
I can see a possible relationship between sensitivity and minimalism, in the sense of sensitivity to clutter.
Yes and the interior design element of line having too much "energy" when not used right too
What surprised me is when I complained about people at work how many other people were also unhappy with the troublemakers conduct and were afraid to talk. It was really easy to find a support group.
Dear Vera. I just got back three days ago from the hospital and a rehab center. I had an unexpected fall in early feb and had to have hip surgery as a result. Ive never even been in a hospital before except when I was born and am 73 years old. While in the hospital and in rehab and feeling so like a fish out of water or a plant moved too many times I thought of some of the things you had said about focusing on the moment, deep breathing and your remembered words helped me SO MUCH. As much as my prayers did. Please . Never feel that what you are doing is not helping that much. It is impossible to say how glad I am that I remembered some things you said while in a scary situation. Bless you dear Vera. I wish you always the best. What you are talking about is so real. I am also glad your tips made such an impact on my memory because all that time I had no internet access and could not watch more of your beautiful youtube presentations. You present things in a vivid and compelling way and like a friend. Your ability to project yourself quite honestly as a friend with good advice is so wonderful and real. I have sometimes watched other platforms offering externally similar advice but no one in my opinion is more genuine and helpful than you are. You have a real gift to help others in this way. For sure!
Oh wow, thank you so much for your kind words Mary... It really means a lot to me, to know that there are people who really find value in my videos. Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your life that way. ❤️ Also, I can imagine that must've been a scary situation! So sorry to hear you had a fall and had to have hip surgery... Wishing you a speedy recovery, take it easy and take good care of yourself! Sending you a hug.
A friend of mine started working for a store called the Sensory Tool House. She is HSP and is on the spectrum. Not only is she really good at helping cusomers, she has amazing bosses who are very understanding.
I love this video and all of the commenters-lovely community 🦋 I discovered HSP when my oldest was almost 2 and we had just moved to a new state. But it took me about another 7-8 years and 3 more moves before I really embraced setting up my life to assist me rather than just fumble along completely overwhelmed and massively struggling wondering what was wrong with me. I actually just last year (I’m 47) invested in noise canceling head phones and have started taking them to big box stores, which is a game changer! I use them at home all the time, too! Noise and perfumes are the worst for me and I have tight control over what comes into my house. All that to say, it’s getting better when I actually allow myself to have boundaries and do what I need to do regardless of what anyone else thinks.
I have felt guilty all my life about being like that. I see myself as a weak person and many people don't understand how everything affects me so much. Otherwise i often feel blessed because i'm able to enjoy more easily of little things in life, and for me that's a great gift.
HSP can be a result of (complex) trauma. Please look into that if you are hypervigilent and don't feel safe and relaxed around others or in other safe environments. It can also be a form of autism, but not diagnosed because of the stigma. There is still a lot to be uncovered about HSP!
Yes! Thank you. I have complex PTSD and I am highly sensitive.
Mum always called me, “my sensitive one”. I was more prone to anxiety and less resilient than my siblings. I have chronic insomnia which I think in part is due to sensory overload and not being able to switch my brain off, especially when in an unfamiliar environment (holidays are exhausting).
For my first three decades I assumed I was an introvert because I needed to retreat oftentimes. Turns out I enjoy the company of others a lot while still needing to retreat and recharge. Beware the self-fulfilling prophecy that you’re an introvert because you might just behave like one. I did and I was consequently lonely and isolated.
I feel like my sensitivity really is my super power - it helps me connect with people and help them on such a deep level
Thank you for all the sharing and info....I have been told to toughen up since i was about 4 years old....I'm 73....I was also told i cant go around wearing my heart on my sleeve.....thank you for making it so much better and permission to be as we are and we don't have to change..... still don't always fit in and that's ok❤
As a student teacher in the ‘80’s I became obsessed with sensory processing and put the skills I learned into practice in my classroom. It resonated so deeply with me and I noticed how much it affected my “littles” as well. I realized several years ago that I am in fact an HSP introvert. 30 years later I’m still connected to many of those now grown up preschoolers. This video, as all of your videos is powerful and helpful. What a wonder you are Vera! ❤❤❤❤❤
Thank you teacher how wonderful.
Vera, thank you. I always seem to forget that I have this trait. Last night I was so horribly down on myself for what I perceive as not being able to function in a way that society would have me function. I also get so wildly tripped up on finding deep meaning and purpose in my life. But because of that, my inner-landscape has become so rich and full even if it's hard to see from the outside. It's always a blessing to be reminded that this is how I'm wired. I have a lot more I could say here, but I'll remain brief. Just know that after last night, I really needed this affirmation ❤ thank you.
Knowing I'm a highly sensitive person has been so important to me. This video is great and I plan to pass it along to a friend today.
Thank you!! 🤗🌺
I can not believe I’ve gone my whole adult life not knowing I’m a highly sensitive person. Last few years I even started to wonder if I was autistic because of how sensitive I am to loud sudden noises. I also live in New York City & it has really been weighing on my soul to get out the city. This is going to be so helpful to me & allow me to give myself grace & compassion for the things that frustrated me about myself like getting overwhelmed by deadlines or making commitments to friends/family. Thank you so much for this content & giving me a better understanding of myself. It’s really going to change my life 😢
This has been such an eye-opener for me, explaining so much. I’ve wondered if I had the highly sensitive personality trait and it seems I do. It’s nice to hear it described as a trait, not a diagnosis or disorder. I don’t often comment on UA-cam videos because I don’t like opening myself up to criticism of strangers, but I needed to let you know how helpful this is. Thank you. 🙏
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that 🤗❤️ And I'm happy to hear you enjoyed the video and found it helpful! Take care my friend
Thank You for all the info on HSP! I am just that and have been since I can remember. I am now 62. My first memory of being this way is when I was five and in Kindergarten, me and my classmates were outside on the playground and there were piles of leaves that had been raked up off the school ground and we were all playing in them. At that moment I had an experience that I can describe to others but they may not understand. I felt such joy in being alive and able to run and jump into the leaves and the leaves were so outstanding to me, their colors and shapes and sizes. I have always noticed things that others pay no attention to! My sister made a meal one time and I am a slow eater compared to other people and I kept commenting to her with every bite how delicious the food was that she cooked. She simply replied that it was just food. I have reached the point in my life where I am GLAD of who I am, I am who GOD made me to be!
Vera, this was a wonderfully done video! I’m a sensitive lady (74) and you described so many if not all of my traits! I’ve been told all my life that I just needed to toughen up and yet I always noticed everyone came to me for encouragement, advice or just as a listener! I learned years ago that I added value to the world and played an important role….my husband is tough….was always in leadership roles his whole career and was quite good at them and highly respected…but he always said I kept him humble and grounded! So I agree….HSP do indeed have a very important job! We should be thankful for our gifts and use them well!
HSP male in the 30% extrovert bucket . Omg . Thank you Vera. This was so enlightening. Thank you for studying this to explain it all to me ❤
Thank you so much Vera! All my life I related to a lot of these things, being saddened by news, feeling others' pain, needing me time, hating violence, and I always thought there was something wrong with me. It was thanks to your channel that I found out highly sensitivity, while difficult, is also a wonderful trait to have! I think I've come to love myself a little more!
It's a combination of nature and nurture. A lot of people who identify as highly sensitive had very stressful upbringings and lived in an unsafe home environment. Best to work with a therapist if you are struggling.
I'm not sure I know of anyone else in my daily life that describes themselves as highly sensitive, so it is so wonderful to feel understood by you and others talking about what it's like and a reminder to myself to go at my own pace in life ❤
I just watched the new Dune with my friends, and it was an incredibly painful experience :D. Noise, violence, constant tension.... And it lasted 3 hours! I was exhausted after it.
Ooof yes I can imagine... I saw the trailer in the movie theater when I went to watch another movie, and even just the trailer left me feeling exhausted 😅
I also watched Dune and had the same experience! 😓
OMG! This is 100% me but my husband makes fun of me constantly for needing these things. It also makes motherhood REALLY hard! Would love some tips on how to battle social pressures to “get over it” or be “normal”. This kind of stuff gets pathologized as anxiety, autism, social anxiety, adhd, somatic disorder, etc.
I think I'm on the lower end of highly sensitive, only some few certain things truely bother me. But I'm also aware of those other stimuli which other people I know don't hear, see or recognise. How people can not be aware of the world around thiem mystifies me. 😃
Hahaha I'm often wondering the same thing when I observe people 😊
More sensitive to thirst and hunger! Never connected those dots. I am an HSP and have known it for years, don’t remember exactly when. At one time I belonged to an HSP group, and I learned there that I cope pretty well.
I have been HSP..it was so hard as a child but I grew to understand it and use it to to be a better massage therapist. It gave me insights I would other wise not have. Yes you need extra self care but it’s oh so worth it. There are days I need to hide away from it all…breath…journal…listen to music..meditate..get a massage or ped a cure just something that helps me get out of information overload. I use to listen to others but now I’m sure of myself…respect myself and my own personal needs and I let others know them… if I’m important to them they make the effort to understand..be kind and they don’t shame..or guilt me if I need to step back. Thank you for sharing your story for it has helped me to grow in many ways. Bless you
As someone who is moderately to highly sensitive, so many of these are encouraging to me, but "your sensitivity is powerful" has my eyes welling up...I didn't fully realize how much of my negative self talk stems from my sensitivity and its impact on my interactions. I think especially post-2020 it's been easy to tell myself I'm not recovering socially like many others seem to be. I try to keep in mind that my perception around this is probably not fully accurate, but now I feel empowered to just keep planning and preparing around stressful gatherings and tasks, knowing it isn't a disability, but a side effect of my strength 🙏🏻
...I've been told by others that I have a calming presence and my husband has encouraged me in ways that speak to my strength of character and resilience, but I often manage to forget these things and focus on seeming inadequacies. You have revealed the truth of my skewed perspective and now I can really turn it on its head. Thank you so much for this information and reassurance, Vera. I appreciate you!!
Excellent! You are a beautiful soul with amazing videos that I always learn from and I am 62.
I struggled with this since a very young child and thought it was because my mother was handicapped which created empathy in me since 2 1/2 yrs. old. I was made fun of all the time bullied. I am so glad I found out I am not weird or strange! It is nice to turn it around into something positive. I recently found the book titled "sensitive". The Hidden Power of the Highly Sensitive Person in a Loud, Fast, Too-Much World. It's a great book for the personal library. I am so glad to be in good company and creating art is my medicine. x's lj
This is the best HSP video I have ever seen! You really nailed what it's like to be an HSP. Thank you so much!
I have always been a HSP, but I know it now for about 30 years I think. I once read a book about being an HSP and I was just reading about myself and it made me understand myself a lot better. I’m an introvert and I don’t like being around other people, but I force myself to do certain things anyway. But I also make sure that an event is followed by a couple of days complete rest and being alone. I just need that.
Well, I am a professional who specialised in neuropsychology and speaking as someone who has ADHD, was diagnosed autistic and “diagnosed” as a HSP, I am gonna comment on this.
I think the ADHD and autism discussion comes up a lot, because there’s this tendency in the HSP community to further stigma and stereotypes against autism and ADHD.
It should not be more or less offensive to suggest someone’s experience sound similar to ADHD or being autistic than it is to suggest someone’s experience sounds similar to having SPS as a trait.
ADHD and autism are also brain differences you are born with. The goal should also be to accommodate those differences and work on improving life quality. There’s often this undercurrent of not wanting to be associated with them “because SPS is not a disorder and shouldn’t be fixed” thus ultimately suggesting other forms of neurodivergence should be. I find this quite the double standard. Furthermore it can keep people from exploring the tools they might need, out of said stigma. I’d encourage anyone to update themselves on other forms of neurodivergence if they have the resources (time, energy) to, if only out of intersectionality and solidarity.
I agree SPS as a construct is different from both ADHD and being autistic, but I do see the reason why misconstrued, very often based on uneducated stereotypes rather than any substantiated claims. I think of the HSP guru Elaine Aron herself here, who has since retracted her statement from her website but who’s books and information still in circulation, still perpetuate false information. An example being lack of empathy in autistic individuals. While there’s autistic people who do lack empathy, there’s even many who veer towards the other end of the spectrum and deal with hyperempathy.
For me the most obvious difference with autism is social problems. Other than facing stigma for being highly sensitive, there’s nothing to the SPS trait that should impair social functioning. It is a core criteria for autism so that makes them very easy to differentiate. There’s also other things such as hyposensitivity and limited interests, but they’re part of the subset of criteria B for autism and thus not such a given as the social differences in criteria A.
I’m not entirely sure why people confuse ADHD and SPS so much. ADHD and all it’s types are characterised by executive dysfunction. SPS does simply not have this. I guess it might come from being distracted by sensory stimuli which both can have? Or the tendency to get lost in thought in ADHD-I/C in particular and for people with SPS. But ADHD exists of a lot more of that which is not present in SPS.
Thank you very much for this very interesting comment! 🙂
Wonderful topic and I appreciate your research on this subject. I am 66 and definitely am overly sensitive. When I was a child, my mother always said, you are like glass too fragile. You need to toughen up! I’m sensitive to feelings of others, loud environments, scratchy fabrics, clutter, crowded environments and spicy foods. After much socializing, I need quiet solitude. Thank you for explaining my feelings. The book mentioned is something that I would like to read.
Describes me to a T. I’ve read about HSP’s before, but something about your video really hit home. I was called “overly sensitive” my whole young life and it just made me feel so broken. Thanks for this
My whole life I’ve had family and friends say I’m too sensative and fragile. It was never said as a good thing either. They made it seem like I had a problem and needed to change who I am.
Thank you Vera for bringing the subject. Water from the shower hurts me and several smells make me nauseous. My favorite moment of the day is when I retire to my bedroom to read before actually going to sleep. As HSP, our lives are not easy and many people don't understand us.
Vera, from one HSP (who has an HSP niece) to another, you are so, so lovely. God bless you for stressing the positives of being HSP.
My adult daughter is a HSP and I find your videos helpful in understanding her better. I instinctly knew she was sensitive when she was growing up, but I didn't know HSP something a person is born with like blue eyes. Thank you for giving me insight n for the book recommendations. ❤❤❤
Your daughter is lucky to have a mom like you. Thank you for being there for her 🙏 .From a fellow hsp
After watching this video, I think I am a sensitive person. Some things do affect me more than it affects other people, I do feel the need to know as many aspects as possible if I’m going to a new place or doing something for the first time. I do empathize and can decode the facial expressions and body language of people better. All in all, I get affected more with stimuli as compared to my friends or family. But sensitivity is often seen as weakness and I hope it gets accepted as it is..
Thank you for making this video and clearing some doubts ❤
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🤗 If you're interested, I do have an older video with a little fun 'test' to see how many signs of HSP you recognize: ua-cam.com/video/j1OxtehkayE/v-deo.html You might find it helpful :)
I’m 55 years old. I remember the exact moment 25 years ago when I learned about HSP. I felt such relief. And I learned about it from a friend who had it so I was able to ask her 100 questions and realize I was not alone! This is an excellent video. Thank you so much!
You are right on. Thank you for your videos. I so appreciate you're saying you needed 2 days to recover from a doctor's appointment. I felt the same way recently. Your videos are so helpful to me. Thank you for making them.
I am hyper sensitive and empathetic. I am very in touch with my emotions and others. I can easily get overly stimulated.
I have always known I was very sensitive…., but until a few days ago listening to videos and reading a book about HSP.. I have learned soooo many things that I couldn’t pin point what really it meant. Thank you for this wonderful video and information. You are so good!
I’m an HSP for sure. Sadly I didn’t figure it out until late in life. I’ve struggled through life in jobs and family situations never realizing I had this trait. I’m so relieved that I now understand myself better and what my own needs are. Thank you for all of your excellent videos. ❤
I would love a video on how being an HSP affects different relationships!
Im HSP and married for 30 years, my husband is sensitive on one point himself like not speaking up but he learned to do that. Im the pretty high HSP person and sense when he’s upset about something and at first I didn’t how to handle things and i had a lot of headaches and didn’t feel like doing things. I was angry a lot later someone told me your hsp and because you don’t deal with it it wel wil hit you to hard. My intuition is high and i pick up people and they don’t know how i know about it. When i told him slow down the speed there’s something wrong up the road there drove a truck suddenly backwards onto the road, thank to his reaction we avoided a collusion. Since he understands more when I don’t want to go a certain road he won’t push me. I also use loop earplugs to go for groceries and family gatherings because it tires me down so much. My husband picks that up and he says seems you need a nap, even when i say it’s okay he holds me and says hunny you’re not pleasant a bit grumpy and he puts me in bed takes care of the household. We spoke a lot how i felt, also if im not able to talk ill write it down for him to read. Im in a flyball team and i told them when i go into the campervan let me be for a bit i need my me time. There was a laugh about the fact i was drawing in my book and didn’t know what was said, so my coaches wife says when Nancy has her book everything doesn’t exist, but they are glad im at least sit with everyone at evenings before the tournament. But on Monday i sleep a lot and my male border collie is clingy and we sleep on the couch or in bed. I was a nurse aid for caregiver at home service it helped me a lot, but i needed wining down after hard days. My son is sensitive too but he seems to coop beter than me.
Just today, someone kept telling me to stop worrying about xyz (for the 3rd say in a row) and I had to abruptly address their comment... "Just because you tell me not to worry about it doesn't make my natural instinct say "oh, ok, and make me feel better, it's just the way I feel about this situation."
I'm so happy I found your channel because I thought something was wrong with me as people made it seem like there was something wrong with me when I just get overwhelmed easily having diagnosed with anxiety since I was a teenager
Thank you so much for this video! It has been life changing for me to realise I'm an HSP. I'm learning how to cope and thrive with this and videos like this are so helpful to me. I'm now realising it's okay to take longer to make decisions, it's okay to consider my needs and make things easier for myself. I feel like i don't need to apologise anymore for who i am.
The part about being strong got me in tears. I feel like I have learned myself to be tough, because I have been told a lot that I have to toughen up "mezelf niet zo moet aanstellen" but I feel that is not who I am. I am sensitive and that is ok! Learning now that it is ok feel everything that I feel. Thank you for the reminder❤
I just finished "Sensitive" by Jenn Granneman and Andre Solo, which I loved and recommend. My favorite part about that book was a short manifesto that we can repeat of all of the strengths of an HSP - we are superheroes! I always appreciate your content on this topic, thank you!
So nice!! Thanks for the book rec, that sounds super :)
Thank you for this video. I am a highly sensitive person. I’ve been told many times to basically snap out of it. Anyone that doesn’t suffer from it will never understand. I love watching your channel. It helps me so much with different emotions and issues that I have. God bless you. Keep the videos coming. 🙏🏻✝️❤️😘🌹
I agree. There's a different from being highly sensitive (for example I am very sensitive to Smells), but not blaming others or attacking them. Just simply ask in an assertive, kind and direct manner. Also not to get hurt by others. Simply being Stoic and understanding that sometimes we care about something that others not. We take the ownership on our own lives 💙
Each person is unique and sensitive in it's own special way 🙂
Stay safe and healthy y'all 🙏
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Definitely important to remember that different things matter to different people, and to always be kind and respectful in our communication :)
I suffered a lot.. then I learnt that I ram an. HSP..😢 I am a doctor and this took a toll on my overall well-being and besides this crowded over stimulating world..I am trying to ease myself now..anndd your videos help a lot.. love you ❤❤❤❤❤❤
I am an HSP and have known this for several years. Growing up, I was always told that I am "too sensitive", but no longer see this as a flaw. I work in therapies and love my job, I need lots of time and cannot function on tight schedules either. Thank you for a lovely video, you are so calming and compassionate ❤
The amount of times I have to stop this video and process what you just said is unbelievable… every sentence makes so much sense. I thought i was crazy. Thank you for putting into words our uniqueness.
I lived in Phoenix metro and this me depressed and angry all the time. i was born and raised around trees, mountains, lakes. Getting out of the desert has made me happier. ❤
Most people are trouble and suck the life out of everyone, if you don’t have the energy for them, stay away. Friends I have are musicians, artists, and scientists. Everyone else gets my code-shift gray-rock, all communication is planned and strategic. Set boundaries
I discovered it in 2018 from your video 😊 but I noticed the sensitivity to heat, extra fascination with creativity and beauty, heightened empathy, the care bag thing, headaches from fragrances etc since I was in elementary school. It is nice to feel seen and I'm glad you advocate for this.
If I remember right, hsp is a trait u were born with but can modulate by your surroundings. Like if u have this trait and experience some traumatic events in your childhood, it can make your high sensitivity even stronger and maybe lead to some serious mental health issues. This does not happen to all kids with hsp but it’s actually quite interesting that u can even „learn” to be much more sensitive as a survival strategy.
I’m glad I am a sensitive person, I’ve figured that recently unpacking childhood trauma analyzing the fact that I had an absent father and a not nice brother, therefore I spent a lot of time around mom becoming more like her. The problem is I work as an auto technician, around seemingly insecure “tough guys” that need to frequently assert their “manliness”. I’m learning how to handle co workers at 35 lol
Another great video - thanks for sharing 😀
I'm definitely an HSP 😅 Especially high sensitivity towards smell, sound, deeeep emotions, self-understanding etc... I've had tinnitus (ringing in the ears) and hyperacousis (reduced tolerance to sound levels and specific frequencies) since I was 18, am now 40 ☺ If I had to choose the most difficult sensitivity, it would probably have to be smell. It makes living with other people so challenging at times. Cooking smells, people smells and so on. But sound is a very close second 🤣
I have always been questioning why I am this way, I am more sensitive than others. It's great to know I am not the only one and that it is okay. I've been suppressing some of my emotions because I'm scared people will have that impression about me.
Thank you for this video, you have helped so many. 💗💗💗
Erg herkenbaar. Men denkt vaak aan adhd wanneer ik erg enthousiast ben of autisme wanneer ik rust nodig heb, regelmaat en planning. Ik ben een extraverte hsp'er. Een aparte combinatie soms voor mijn omgeving. Maar sinds ik het weet kan ik er rekening mee houden en doseren om te voorkomen dat ik overprikkelt raak. Het leven voelde altijd als een enorme uitdaging en is nu een stuk gebalanceerder. Dank Vera voor een video zoals deze. Het is belangrijk om je gezien te voelen en beter te begrijpen wie je bent. Thank you 🤗❤️🙏
I find many traits of HSP in me. But I always tried to hidden or change them because being sensitive was regarded as a burden or a flaw in my environment. I don't know how life could have been If I knew before how to appreciate this trait of personality. But I think never is too late to rethink things form a new perspective. Thanks for sharing your knowledgde with us.
I truly didn’t know I was an HSP until I watched your video about 2 years ago and I am 65, I always thought I was so different than most people and I read the book “Highly Sensitive Person” because of your recommendation Vera and it was such a relief knowing that others are like me. My son is on the high end of HSP and we are different in many ways but the same in others, these videos are so helpful to people in understanding why they are the way they are and trying to find ways to cope when the stimulation is too much or they are just tired and need some time alone. Thnx for giving this topic so much attention Vera 🌸
Thank you so much for this video! I'm an HSP and I have HSPs in my life that I care about. The information you provided helps me understand myself and the other HSPs in my life better. I really appreciate these tips!
Hi Vera, I am a highly sensitive person! I found out about 6-7 years ago around age 30. I was stunned when I answered 25/27 questions indicative of ‘HSP’ as I had never heard of that before and thought that I was just ‘weird.’ My jaw dropped when I read these bits of description because they described me to a tee. For as long as I can remember I have been told that I am too sensitive, too shy, ‘suck it up’, ‘get over it.’ I can feel others’ emotions which made my job as nurse rather challenging and I felt almost like I had to step into a suit and almost become a different person to deal with the various situations that arose throughout my shifts. I was very in tuned and could tell when something was ‘off’ with a patient before there were actual signs that something was wrong. However, the emotional and physical demands of the job were overwhelming and pretty much went against the grain of who I am. Thank you so much for your informative videos! They help me to feel less like an oddball (although I still know that I am 🤪) and help me to view being an HSP as a superpower!
This list is so validating for me. I've known that I've been highly sensitive for a while; though it has been difficult for me to embrace my sensitivities and see them in a positive light. Working through the shame and building my confidence to disclose it to more people in my life has been a slow climb but the changes have been only positive. ✨️
Very informative & delivered in your soothing, pleasant tone of voice. You’re helping so many people 🦋
Aw thank you, and so happy to hear that, since I really wanted this video to be informative as well as pleasant to watch! 🥰
My biggest revelation after reading The Highly Sensitive Person was how we can even be more sensitive to our hormones (you talked about hunger and thirst for example), especially women and their hormonal cycle. Also, we can be sensitive to medication, so one may want to start at the smallest dosage when starting something new. I have plenty of horror stories about my reaction to various birth controls 😱🫨
I still can't separate my sensitivity from weakness. Our society was not built by or for sensitive, creative people. I feel like I can barely cope with modern life because it's not made for someone like me.
I feel like that too SO strongly. Especially the last couple years.
You seem to be quite young and yet you are so well-informed on this subject and caring and incredibly articulate. I wish I had a lot of this information 20 years ago so that I could stop blaming myself for the way I am. Your contribution is so appreciated and needed in this world. Thank you again
Thank you. I am so grateful. I always knew I was HSP, but I didn't know I didn't have to change. These tips are so helpful. I do need breaks
I appreciate your calm demeanor and information with a good dose of kindness and understanding.