10 Life-changing SELF CARE HABITS for the Highly Sensitive Person
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- Опубліковано 17 тра 2024
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Around 15-20% of all people are a highly sensitive (HSP). This means that we process stimuli more deeply, because of biological differences in our nervous system. It comes with many advantages, such as being creative, observant, insightful, and we have a strong sense of intuition, empathy and resilience. But it also means we can feel overstimulated much more easily. And that’s where self care can play a big role.
In today's video, I share 10 life-changing self care habits for the highly sensitive person. These are based on the book 'The highly sensitive person' by Elaine Aron, as well as my own personal experience with being a HSP. These are things we can do for ourselves to keep feeling good mentally, emotionally and physically. Even if you don't consider yourself to be highly sensitive, I think these self-care tips can still be very helpful, especially on those low energy days.
Lots of love,
🌼 Vera
MENTIONED VIDEO LINKS
» (Affiliate link) Book - The highly sensitive person by Elaine Aron: bit.ly/3FTHfIZ
» Highly sensitive person playlist: • 🌱 BEING A HIGHLY SENSI...
» Decluttering playlist: • 🏡 DECLUTTERING & HOME
VIDEO CHAPTERS
What is a highly sensitive person? 0:00
Retreat 1:15
Showers and baths 2:35
An important note on exercise 3:47
Decluttering 5:43
Kangaroo care 7:55
Needs & boundaries 9:24
White space 11:28
Power up your sleep 12:26
Charge your heart 14:30
An important note on cortisol 15:37
Being sensitive in our world 18:05
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Hi everyone! Thanks for waiting for me while I recovered from my cold and subsequent eye infection. I'm feeling a lot better and I'm very excited to post weekly videos again! 🤗🥰 I realize my left eye still looks a little 'tired' in this video haha, but I feel better every day. And I'm really happy to be back. :) Sending love!!
So great that you are feeling better! AWESOME! And great video!
So glad you’re feeling better!! I love your videos!! 😘
I’m happy you are doing so much better 🤗
Could you please describe the different between HSP and Neurodivergence as by all accounts and descriptions it really seems like HSP is a title used for non diagnosed neurodivergents. Thank you ❤
Thanks a lot from Ukraine!
Where my INFJs and INFPs at? 🙋♀️
Infj✊🏾
Here
Infp
🙋🏻♀️infp
Infj
Maybe it’s not people who are highly sensitive, but a world that has become increasingly abrasive and far removed from what the human experience was originally meant to be living within it.
Exactly, let’t go to crusades, plague, civil wars and pre-anastesia times. Caves were fine too.
I get what you mean, @gpbarth.
Water always helps - in a glass, sea, shower or tears
I lost the freedom to cry. My eyes have degenerative thing that can cause permanent damage when I cry.
It’s been terrifying.
@@talitherose sorry for that, I understand that it makes your life little bit difficult BUT heres what has happened to me- ive been searching for happiness for years, working on myself, ending and starting relationships until i became so happy that i dont cry or cry very rarely, before i used to cry at night, i was unhappy, straggling, one day I decided if i cant cure myself i need a specialist and i visited a neurologist, afterwards i sleep well and i don’t drink any medicine
I mean live, always be looking forward for something so you dont have time to be sad or cry ❤️
@@talitherose😢
so true haha
That's like that Isak Dinesen quote,, "Salt water cures everything. Either tears, sweat or the salt sea."
Wow, this is unbelievable. I’m 70 years old and never knew there was a title for how I’ve felt all my life. Thank you so much for this video. Now I know why I’ve been burned out most of my life because I’ve always taken care of everyone else and never knew how to take care of myself. I’m glad I came across your YT. I could have saved myself much suffering. I’ll look forward to watching other videos.❤️
Maria, me too. I’m 60. I never imagined. My friends. “You’re so/too sensitive”. But NEVER in a mean way. I think they felt bad for me. Sometimes even watching movies I’d have to walk out. Too intense. One I specifically remember is apocalypse now. Had to leave. Burst into tears watching animal documentaries. My friends and family do appreciate my warmth though. Crowds? Get me out of here! Just too MUCH. I went to a concert one time 25 years ago, there was a crowd (a concert, yeah) and my friend said I never saw anyone walk so fast! Lol.
If only my alcoholic mother in her 70's educated herself she'd have healthy relationships with her daughter's and would've left her toxic marriage many years ago
Yes, I was the same, found out when I was 60 though and then I put the pieces of my pussel together of why I felt overwhelmed at times especially after childrens parties! Had to always get out into the forest after them. ❤
@@marilynschmidt6400 Finding out about HSP can definitely be life-changing at any age. I identified myself as an HSP when a friend gave me Elaine Aron's book when I was 66. I ticked all 24 boxes in the checklist and after I'd read the book my whole previous life made sense to me for the first time. I am grateful every day for this knowledge coming to me when it could still make a huge difference and I try to pass it on whenever I meet someone whom I recognise as an HSP. It has made a big difference also to my HSP son and grandson. God bless Elaine.
Me too. I’m 65 and have always taken care of everyone else and put myself last. Now I’m healing from a rather long unwellness period in my life and it has been difficult. And I understand why now. All my life I’ve had my energy burn out so fast and never understood why when all my friends could just keep going. I was always the party pooper and left early from everything. Being a stay home mom to three was so draining on me. Wow.. I suppose it’s good we’ve learned this now, even tho we are seniors now, because it can help us be gentler with ourselves and our HS, now adult, children too. Bless you friend. Sending hugs.
I’ve unmasked all my traits in my current job, so every time I walk into a meeting room I turn all the lights down (as on normal setting they feel like sitting under a solar flare to me). The amount of people who have thanked me or said it’s much nicer to sit in a slightly darker room is amazing. I feel like I’ve started a trend 😂.
Hahaha I love that!!
Oh goodness, in my last job if I had tried that they would have added more and brighter spotlights.... :(
I love this. Let’s normalize soft lighting.
Regardless of being a HSP I think everyone is overestimulated, I notice it specially when people have bursts of anger, anxiety or stress "out of nowhere".
Fluorescent lighting is terrible.
Another HSP tip: Disengage from the news and screens in general! Or at least have an awareness when binging on media; i.e., "how is this making me feel right now?" or "Is this really what I want to be doing, or am I avoiding boredom?"
I agree. Social media is mostly garbage and online news just a cesspool of negativity
I used to feel obligated to keep up on news, despite finding much of it disturbing. I’m a warrior for justice and the lack of it in this world hurts my heart. Now, it’s ok not to be on top of the news. I can stand in a room, sense who is happy, what couple just had a fight, see someone trying to hide their feeling, at boiling over point, etc.
Yes!!! And also I cannot handle the loud commercials so I mute them constantly if I am watching shows w commercials. I have greatly limited my tv watching time and news media-overstimulating and overwhelming for me!!
This! I get screen fatigued so quickly and turning off my phone even for 30 minutes is a life saver.
Haven't watched the news for years because it made me so sad as a child... Defintely helps ❤
"It isn't because we are fragile people and cannot deal with life" made me cry because that was exactly how I was telling myself who I was. I was too fragile and weak, cannot deal with life like everyone else can, creating excuses not to do things or not to adopt. Thank you so much for your video.
You're so welcome! Very happy to hear you had this insight, because it's so unnecessary to feel weak or fragile. Sensitive people can be so strong and resilient! Take good care of yourself my friend
I think its the opposite its like we have advance senses to know the emotions surrounds us thats why we like some place we can rest and recharge 😊 i prove that coz on hard times they said im fragile but on those moments im the only one who can thing the right thing to do so i think we can be strong when its needed if not were conserving our energy 😊
In my most stressful time, I labeled myself as a non-functioning adult. Talk about depressing!
It is never a good idea to be mean...to others or to yourself. Be gentle and extend grace.
Thats so true. I’ve been passing through things lately that made me think i will never be happy in life because i’m always feeling everything SO MUCH. I started to thing that i had some mental illness that i dont know and this put me on that state. Maybe i am just a HSP. I think a lot, note people and their feelings and intentions a lot, some times i wish i was a child or teen again, where time was just passing and i was not like i am now: feeling all at the same time and overwhelming.
@@MoLe829wow I have recently felt that exact pain so strongly as a kid time was just passing and it didn’t matter but now that fact is too overwhelming and as someone who just turned 21 it’s this impossible feeling of never being able to go back to childhood and especially being class of 2020 who didn’t go to college, but I’m trying to learn now being highly sensitive is a strength finally although it’s held me in the same stuck spot the last 4 years keeping me depressed . I have always felt that way too like I’ll never be able to just experience joy like a regular person and the original comment I have come to the same exact conclusions that I’m just too weak to be alive like what am I doing here it’s crazy to find people who relate so easily just the click of a video but it be impossible in your real life but anyways it’s really all perspective so I taught myself why choose to see yourself as less than or mentally ill when we can see ourselves as so much more , it’s not about labels to me but awareness is everything and I think most important is we have to surround ourselves with the right people who will understand and sometimes that means just staying to yourself at least for me i had to cut off basically everybody outside my family but that was only a first step honestly just gotta make room for what’s genuinely aligned and not force anything at all
After 73 years of life I have come to embrace my introvert nature. I love who I am. I wish more people were like me. I believe in live and let live.
Took a while though eh?
It was comforting (and surprising) to know that others experience anxiety when the phone rings suddenly. Thanks for sharing! 😊
For me, it's the noise of the phone ring that is really triggering, no matter what ring tone it is sadly. I actually have a rule where I always have my phone on silent. I only turn the sound on when I am expecting an important phone call. It has been life-changing. I make sure I check my phone regularly for messages or missed calls so I can get back to people. Oh and I NEVER use the vibrate setting ever as that noise and sensation are also too triggering. I highly recommend this if you can do it!
@@BlinkinFirefly Me, too, all of the above. Even at that, I have to change my ringtone and alarm periodically because I become jumpier and jumpier at the sound.
I always have my phone on vibrate!
Yes I hate phone calls!!!
And unexpected visitors!
You're the first person I've ever heard say they hated PE and that exercise should make us feel better. I can relate. Thank you!
Finally, the algorithm has led me to my people. I have every primary characteristic of an hsp and had no idea of the term. I soothe with low lights, nature, and water. It’s unbelievable how seen I feel right now. Thank you for enlightening me, and for sharing tips. The video was a pleasure to watch.
Young lady this is so helpful to HSP as you say. Back when I was younger, “toughen up” was all I heard. So wonderful you have embraced this gift you have and are helping others. A few things I’ve learned along the way that may help others. Clothing helps in situations, example arms covered with cotton sleeves, thick socks, avoid places with loud music such as crowded noisy restaurants, watch who you travel with, avoid loud, obnoxious people, grocery shop at off hours to avoid crowds, carry Vicks to put up your nose when smells are bad, carry toothpaste, toothbrush and cream so you can freshen up when out, take naps if needed to rest your brain, etc. thank you!!
Avoid loud obnoxious people, id never see my family again haha
❤
I can relate to all you wrote. I always have VIcks and Peppermint oil with me and clothes just have to be comfortable now. Thank you for sharing ❤❤
I actually bring earplugs to restaurants and wear them when I am trying to focus on the menu. I find the often loud environment really distracting and upsets me and I can’t focus properly on what I’d like to order. So this helps me! 😊
I always hated "toughen up".. Maybe you all should just be kinder and more patient because everybody operates differently!! 🥴
I have felt so much shame feeling this way my entire life. Thank you for making this community- it’s nice to know there’s others like me out there!
Here I sit at 63 and spent most of those years feeling broken, thank you for this video it has been an eye opener for me.
It is such a wonderful thing to know there are people that know what living this feels like. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!
Some people who are NOT HSP can really take a position of "I am better than you!" bout it. One colleague of mine sent an email related to a health problem, saying, "I have a very high pain tolerance." This person may, but honestly, the work wasn't very good.
I like lying down on my rooftop ,waching the calm sky in the evening.
I'd love to do that!!
The older I get the more I realize how sensitive I am. To temperature, weather, sounds etc. I’m glad you found out sooner and are helping so many. I’m gonna share with my daughter this is her too. Thank you 🙏🏼.
Me too. Especially the loud noise or the non stop barks of a dog
We all are more sensitive to these as we get older. Especially to temperature sight and sound….
Taking a break in a dark room is one of my favorite things! Then I feel like I'm touching the "true reality " again and I can come back in the world with a better connexion to myself .
I know I am this way but what upsets me is that people will just simply not respect my boundaries no matter how nicely I try to explain.
This is a problem with family members sometimes.
OMG!!! The exercise tip is spot on! I'm so bothered by overstimulating environments of gyms (clanging weights, grunting patrons, thumping music), and my friends could never understand why I hated the gym so much. No wonder I've gravitated toward things like biking, yoga and ballet -- calm, focused, peaceful exercise. Thank you for this!!! Now I understand.
Absolutely though I would like to gym but those nastly music I can't handle
Wow. This was an aha moment for me. My husband has a membership to a beautiful gym that is very inepensive. I have zero desire to join. Even though i know I’m a HSP I never stopped to conside why I hate crowded gyms so much!
One of the reasons why I love the pool. I do live my hard-core pounding work outs, but the water brings me back to balance. I love working out in the water.
@@preethimn3, I cope by listening to podcasts/books via noise-cancelling earbuds. Even obnoxious music becomes harmless background noise which washes out if I focus on my reps and my radio.
That you needed someone else to tell you something like that is far more interesting.
Meditate on that.
I always knew I was introverted and enjoyed staying in on weekends--the only time I could, but also because all week I'm forced to be over stimulated at work. Big AHHA moment!
Omg, I overthink and get overwhelmed all the time!
Do you guys get really ticked off, when you are on a bus and others are loudly making calls or loudly watching videos on their phones? One tip....mive to japan. People there are soooo considerate.
I have ADHD and autism, so I'm also very emotionally sensitive and easily overwhelmed. This video is really helpful for me, your voice is very calming and soothing as well =) I think a great way to practice the skin to skin self-soothing activity is to apply lotion. This is something I've always done without understanding why it comforted me so much. Just taking the time to hydrate your skin and appreciating your body without allowing yourself any thoughts about it. Taking care of yourself like you are taking care of your own inner child is one of the best things I've set out to do!
Yes! So much yes! Not till recent I realized how self caring this truly is. Now thankful I noticed the positive ripple effects doing this after a shower. Well said.
I'm still struggling with prioritizing myself, selfcare and setting boundaries. I've grown up in an environment that didn't allow me any of those things. I always had to be there for people, solving family issues that weren't mine and prioritizing my own health and wellbeing was labeled as being egocentric, so going against this is incredibly hard - even as an adult.
Me too. You got this hunny x
This video is so helpful! I am an hsp, and so is my 19 year old son. My husband and 16 year old son are the opposite. Sometimes, we feel bad about ourselves because the other half of our family is so energetic and highly driven to succeed. Luckily, my energetic husband is also a therapist and has learned about hsp's and how to counsel them. It feels so good to understand ourselves and know that it is ok to need our boundaries. 😊
So nice that you can all discover that together as a family :)
@@Kishup27Good for you!! 👏
This is so sweet!
I have never thought of myself as a sensitive person, until I recently diagnosed with ADHD. And wow, now my eyes have been opened to how sensitive I am and always have been! I get total sensory overload in busy situations like airports, crowds, tourist spots, etc. I am VERY sensitive as a mom to my kids’ cries and emotions and always have been. Now that I’m aware of being sensitive, I see why I’d just be (what I thought was) randomly grumpy and irritable for no reason. Now I can pinpoint what’s bothering me and take steps to help myself. It’s been awesome to be able to communicate better with my husband and kids when I’m overloaded, so they know it isn’t their fault. And I have found exercise, fresh air and especially being in a forest to help SO much And you’re so right about not pushing ourselves too far physically - doing so can make me dizzy and give me a terrible headache! I have to be careful. Yoga, walks, and bike rides are my favs. I always hated classes like body sculpting because I’d feel so sick afterwards.
❤
I can absolutely relate! I noticed I got snappy, angry and upset when too much was going on as I absorbed all the details and emotions and couldn't relax, I understand why now! I found qigong wonderful as it's like a gentle medicine for the body that works with our acupressure points and it's concepts are Do no harm, Listen to the body and Less is more 🥰
I was just about to comment that she probably has adhd and doesn’t realise!
@@samdonovan8559 or even Autism. It presents much differently in girls than in boys.
Wow, this is similar to my experience as a 50yo woman recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have learned so much about myself through my diagnosis, which has given so much clarity (and a bit of confusion). I never considered myself as a HSP, but the more therapy and research I do, the more boxes I seem to tick. Repetitive sounds such as beeping, phone ringing, etc have brought me to my mental knees as long as I can remember.
Congratulations for this video! I am not a HSP but after my boyfriend broke up with me, I found out that he is. I would have loved knowing it and what it means, during our 2 years relationship.
The more information is acquired, both by HSP and the family/close friends, the less pain would be for all those involved.
I lost my loved one because of ignorance. After breaking up by telephone after a solid relationship, he reproached me for things that I would never imagine. In fact, during the whole relationship, he did not say a single word about his concerns about me/us. On the opposite, only nice and good things about me and us.
Communication is key. And it should be open and clear, to avoid the decision to abandon me in a so brutal way. He had the abandon pain (was emotionally abandoned by his parents).
Increasing awareness can only help and bring peace.
I agree about not crossing physical boundaries. Ice baths and cold showers are all the rage these days. To me (and for my body), it sounds completely masochistic. Even the idea of a cold shower induces a feeling of panic in me.
I recently saw some people some swimming in the river and others casually standing around in swimsuits like it was 80 degrees out, when in fact it was 32! If that were me, I'd need to go straight to the emergency room to treat extreme hypothermia. People are different, and we all need to respect our personal boundaries.
Me too and people around me do it regularly and claim they will stay clear of diabetes and will live to be a hundred years and I won‘t. This made me feel such a loser in comparison to them. Reading your comment relaxes me soooooo much.🙏
Yeah...I've just told myself I get a periodic "ice bath" when the hot water starts running out in my showers -- that's enough for me 😅
I take frequent restroom breaks during crazy nights at work just to get away and do some box breathing for a minute. It has been so helpful for me. Sometimes it helps me out for the next 45 minutes and sometimes I need another breathing session after only 15-20 mins. Some nights I only need to do it once! I've been getting better and better with quickly self-regulating this way. I recommend it to everyone! Like just try it out a few days in a row and see what it does for you!
I do the same! I'll even go to a restroom that's not utilized as frequently.
Discovering that I am an HSP has been one of the most transformative things in my life. I now understand what it means to be overstimulated. I thought I was just broken. You have given such practical tips for maintaining a balance in my life. My most surprising take away was - have fun! I always saved that for when I finish my jobs, which never happens. Yes, have fun all along the way. It calms the cortisol. Ahhh. Thank you. I’ve bookmarked this video for my library.
Holy moly! Me too! I thought I had an autoimmune disorder or something, but they could not find anything. Now I totally get it!
That’s my biggest takeaway too! I always save the “fun” for a “reward” when I’m done and I’m too rarely done. I always developed a fever when I got to the school cafeteria and figured I was somehow triggering my immune system. I’m literally discovering this this week… it’s explaining so much!
I'm an HSP too. It's taken me a long time to realize how badly I need breaks, am easily overstimulated, and have to protect myself from absorbing other people's emotions. I am going to get this book!,
Holy cow! I knew I was more sensitive than most other people, but I’d always seen it as a weakness. I’d always felt as though I was “wired” differently than everyone else. Thank you for sharing this information! I now understand why I love to start my day drinking coffee and watching the birds on my feeders. I also spend lots of time with my house rabbits. I converted our once playroom into a rabbit hotel once our children were grown. I spend lots of time there as well especially if I’m feeling overwhelmed.
The rabbit hotel sounds amazing and lovely ^^
This is so me. It has always felt like I was depressed and couldn’t handle life like my carefree friends. You’re right about the details. I have always been so detail oriented with great intuition that I’ve learned listen to. Right now I’m battling breast cancer and trying to stay positive even with all this help it’s a constant self talk battle. Crying a lot lately.
Hang in there. Breast cancer survivor here. Please if you are crying a lot and it doesn’t seem to be getting less, maybe consider talking to your doctor about anti depressant or anti anxiety meds. It can be temporary while you are dealing with such a stressful situation. Peace dear one 🙏🌸💕
I wish you every success in dealing with this very big challenge you have in your life right now. I feel that it will make a difference if you are able to practice the self-care habits outlined in the video (if you don't already). If you've been unaware of your own needs in the past and experiencing self-neglect, committing to self-care can be another challenge. It was for me. But now I accept it as a fact that HSP's, as much as they may wish they could, just can't live life the way the majority do in a fast-paced, competitive, unaware culture, . Also, people around us can benefit from watching demonstrations of the human value of caring. For self first. God bless.
My prayers to you & a big hug !
🙏🕊🙏
Sending prayers & strength 💗🤲🌟may you recognize and come into deeper contact with all your inner strength and may seeing and feeling your inner fire ignite you and bring you passion for this life and healing for your body 🌟
I am currently going through a challenging and weird situation at work where I can't find the courage and the way to communicate with the person in concern. It had given me so much stress, anxiety and confusion that I had to talk to a therapist. And even though she told me all the right things and made me feel better about myself, it didn't change the fact that I still haven't decided how to handle it. And for some strange reason I just came across your video and I am literally so so overwhelmed. Everything makes sense now. I am you. I am this person. I am the HSP that the book describes. Lightbulbs all over! 😅. I Have even just changed my plans for a room in the house, no longer an entertainment room but a "shelter," a Zen paradise, a safe space because that is exactly what I need and I finally know. Your video was not just life changing for me, it has given me the meaning of my life itself and it explains every moment of my years in this planet especially my childhood. I am honestly in awe. For the first time ever I feel I know myself instead of trying to be somebody that I am not.
What a gift you have just given me beautiful stranger😊 ❤❤❤
I’m completely relating to this, I think I’m on a Autism spectrum or have a personality disorder of some sort, at 57 I’ve never been diagnosed with anything but, too much noise, light makes me feel anxious, and large crowds & makes me want to escape, travelling has become more difficult, can’t believe I lived in London for 12 years, hate travelling across London now the tube is terrible for me, I’m trying to put myself first now as I can’t deal anymore with too much stress, due to caring for my elderly father who had dementia for 5years, a marriage ending after 27 years and loosing my mother to cancer, and just over Christmas my Nephew was killed on Christmas Day, life throws you curve balls that you have to try to manage, but it’s how you deal with it that can cause you more stress, taking one day at a time, and being kind to yourself.
How did you know? This is my list! Birthdays, Christmas, everything solo. Never ask for help, if I can avoid it.
Whenever I have a hard time falling back to sleep, I've always had trouble with the 'Don't think about the time' approach. When I'm in that situation, I've found that what works best is focusing your attention on the sensations of the bed. Feel the soft sheets rubbing against your skin. Soak in the feeling of the warmth from the bed spreading through each part of your body. Enjoy being in that comfortable place, and let that comfort be what carries you off to relaxation. I always wind up in La-la land in no time. Hopefully this helps someone. Peace.
I try to focus on just _resting_ but not necessarily sleeping. I might put on a podcast or something quietly in the background to give my brain something to latch onto, and then concentrate on breathing deeply and relaxing each part of my body. Even if I don't fall asleep, my body is getting much of the rest and recharging that it needs... plus I usually do fall asleep by doing that.
I put ear buds in and listen to rain on a tent
“Charging up your heart”! I like that one. Beauty, music and nature is like an uplifting religious experience, and I can get so much from just the way the shadows of leaves dance on a wall on a sunny day! Steam rising from a cup of tea. The sound of a distant train whistle, and the way the humming of the rails carry’s through the cold, clear winter air. Simple things bring such pleasure, so that is a gift of being an HSP I embrace. Thanks for your videos. I didn’t know what was different about me until I discovered what an HSP is. And ending a sentence with “is” even bothers me… but I’ll let it go this time! 😉
Wow thank you so much for the superthanks!! ❤️❤️ I really appreciate that. I'm glad the video resonated with you and I love what you shared about how being highly sensitive can enrich our experiences in life. Have a wonderful day today! 🍵🌳🌱
I have been this way my whole life, but in the last ten years the effect on my health has been quite challenging. So now, at age 61, I am working towards recognizing my sensitivities, and learning how I can take better care of myself. I love that you are sharing what you’ve learned!! I’m very grateful for this information and I hope you will continue to share!❤😊
I’m a HSP! I can’t schedule too much in a day. I’m back in school full time and I can’t work while I do this. If I feel too busy and don’t get hours each day to relax, then I burn out so easily. I need more sleep, low lights, calm atmosphere, no caffeine. For years I didn’t realize who I was because I was always drinking alcohol in order to fit in with the world and to be social. Glad I’m figuring out who I am.
For me, minimalism isn't the thing, but decluttering is and keeping my environment clean. I am pursuing an ADHD diagnosis and I declutter every few months and it feels good to send off some donations and fill a small trash can once or twice with things I didn't realize I didn't need. I find clutter helpful sometimes (keeping my most often used things on my nightstand) and overwhelming sometimes (the seemingly perpetually cluttered dresser top I am always decluttering). It has really helped me to get bins for different sorts of items of various sizes and trays and caboodles, start taking care of two things every time I get up, and keeping a ninja shaped mini trash can on my nightstand. And lots of small shelves. I've really been doing much better.
You are the first person that I have heard mention how the wind effects you. I do not do well emotionally in the wind. A breeze is generally ok-but a wind and the stronger the more stress I feel. It is like I get too much energy or something from it. Thank you for mentioning it-I felt very alone about it. I feel most people look at me like I am nuts, so glad to hear I am not alone🤗 and I appreciate the other confirmations of HSP. ❤
Same here. Strong gusts of wind are quite overwhelming/anxiety provoking. While I've recognized that I am an HSP, I hadn't drawn that specific connection with the wind until this video.
Same here, you are not alone 😂
It's s totally a thing! When I lived in Nebraska there were days on end where the wind would blow hard nonstop. I found it exhausting. My coworker who grew up there would mention how the wind would start to get to people, and we could see it affect the moods and emotions of visitors (This was at a state park.) It was palpable.
No you aren’t alone. The wind drives me crazy. Can’t be out in it. A light breeze is fine.
I’m very sensitive to lighting. Especially in the living room and my bedroom. I hate the light outside from 1:00 to about 3:30 in the summer. It is harsh light.
Thank you for this! It's nice to hear things normalized.. I have ADHD and have always been super sensitive, or as my mom always said "tender hearted". I was told to toughen up and just get stuff done, but now that i'm older I'm learning more. Here's to everyone taking time for themselves
I relate so much to how you described your childhood experience 🫶🏼
thanks for this
Every time I started exercising in the past I would get sick. This finally makes sense to me. Being a HSP. Thank you for your videos.
So glad you are feeling better Vera. I love when you do videos on this topic. Realizing I’m an HSP who grew up in an emotionally neglectful family has been very hard. Trying to undo decades of believing there was something wrong with me is daunting. All of your insights and suggestions are very much appreciated.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video Ronda :) Take good care and have a wonderful weekend!!
i’m in the boat with you ❤ sending lots of love
Same here Ronda, it is not easy but I think we will make it in the end 😊 lots of love from Poland ❤
@@audreeaudree thank you 😊
@@92wit thank you take care 😊
I've been doing the white space thing intuitively, didn't know it was a thing. Also, I used to think I was lazy but now I realize a lot of the times I thought I was being lazy was just me trying to recover from overstimulation. Your content is super helpful, thank you 💜💜💜
Me too. Thanks for sharing ❤
I'm ultra sensitive to stuff and too things that helped a lot were reducing caffeine intake a lot (I cut out coffee completely, too much caffeine stimulation) and cold showers (these have been amazing for me, because they pushed me to adapt more to uncomfortable feelings). I also use mindfulness meditation, the book 30 Days to Reduce Stress by Harper Daniels helped a lot.
OMG P.E. it was total agony! I am so relieved to hear someone else struggled with that too (and they always picked the nastiest most insensitive teachers).
Thank you so much for this, such great info! 🙏❤️
YESS!! I honestly wish they would change the whole concept of PE so that every child can learn to enjoy exercising, and not just the ones who are already athletic. It took me long time to get over it and learn to enjoy moving my body
Yes!!! I still have PTSD
I needed literal years to recover from how overall sh**ty PE was. Now I go to the gym 2-3 times a week and I do lifting/resistance training but only solo, earbuds in (no music, just podcasts), no intense noisy crowded classes.
My school considered sports to be the primary means of PE. I couldn't understand the rules or think fast enough to play well, and hated every second of it. It made me want to actively neglect my body- I was overjoyed when I hurt my back in high school so I could get out of it. Still get angry when somebody bothers me about it. My physical body is the only thing I have a right to in this world, and people telling me what to do with it enrages me.
I only got detention once. It was from my PE teacher when I said, “no” to some ridiculous physical activity when I needed a moments rest. At 43 I am now tremendously proud of that version of myself. 😹🫶🏻
I was in my thirties when someone suggested I might be an HSP. I had never heard of it and started reading about it and even did a test. The test could not have been more clear: I am definitely HSP and not lazy, weird and weak (that's how I used to see myself). I am very happy I found your channel, bedankt Vera!
My experience was very similar :) I'm so happy my videos are contributing to the conversation and helping people to learn about their sensitivity :) Have a wonderful day!
Hi. May I ask which specific test you took?
@@originallauren6882 The test is in Elaine Aron's book, The Highly Sensitive Person, and on her website.
Me too! I finally, at 36 am starting to understand myself!
The self-kangraroo care is such an interesting concept. I'd never consciously thought of it before, but I actually do rub my arms or play with my hair because I find it calming. After having my son, I've learned how much he likes skin to skin contact. He is almost 2, and still seeks out that skin to skin contact. If I am wearing long sleeves, he always puts his hand under my sleeve so he can put his hands on my arm. I think there is something about the touch of someone's skin that is reassuring... They really are there. And it makes sense that touching our own skin can help us to be more aware and present with ourselves as well.
Yes, I also find it so comforting and soothing, both with others as well as with my own skin. It just helps to get out of that 'overthinking' and into the present moment
I was surprised to learn this had a name. I actually dislike the feeling of my own body, but I do always seek out a piece of skin on my husband. I will play with my hair but that's about it on myself.
Saying it’s not that we can’t deal with life, we are just overstimulated meant a lot to me. Even though I‘ve known for a long time I‘m hyper sensitive, I often felt like I‘m not able to take care of myself. Truth is I‘ve just been pushing myself too hard.
I do #1 every day - my ‘down time’ for a couple of hours in the bedroom, lounging, reading, watching videos, whatever. Not because of being tired particularly. I am 65 now and this just made me think about how in high school, I would go to the school library rather than the cafeteria during lunch. I loved the quiet. I skipped lunch and just ate a snack when I got home. I never thought of that before, but I see I’ve always done this. The other thing I do is my daily hour long bath. I read or play games on my tablet.
I'd often do the same in HS and then in university. It was a calming reprieve from the noisy environment. 😊
I did too! I used to go to the library after eating. I even skipped a class by switching my lunch period. Can't get away with it now.
Kathy B
Thank you SO much for mentioning the PE issue. Yes, yes, yes. What an absolute sensory nightmare it was for me. That validation was nice. ❤
The we might need more sleep and the higher cortisol levels are two things I've always felt I need to take more care of. I didn't know about HSP until last year, so I felt ashamed and embarrassed to see I needed to go to bed early - otherwise the next they I'd wake up feeling terrible - or when "regular" situations would really overstimulate me. All of these tips will really help me, I completely relate to all of these situations. In a world that sometimes seems to go too fast we also need to be kinder to ourselves and aknowledge we just need a bit of space and to take care of ourselves like this. Thank you!
This video is speaking straight to my heart. I've known that I was a sensitive person for a long time, but I suppose I was still in denial about it. A lot of the things you discussed in this video are things I already do without being aware of.... What I'm learning is that prioritizing these is actually part of my self care.
As I'm getting older, I find myself less resilient and less resistant to triggers. Fortunately, I am better at better recognizing the situation from a different perspective. I do find it's helpful to find ways to keep the brain engaged in something productive and to distract my mind so I don't get stuck in a rut. It was a great discovery from the fun demo by the pickpocket expert, Apollo Robbins. Similarly, if my mind is overly sensitive and easily distracted by my surrounding, then I cannot function to my fullest potential.
My art practice & creative mixed media journaling are most therapeutic for me. I feel like a 5 year old when creating freely & the time spent in my art space allows me to slow my spinning thoughts, process life & get the peace I need to function in the daily grind. Thank you for this video!
The white space tip is so helpful! I’ve never understood why I struggle so much when I try to go from one thing to another without time in between and invariably this always leads to me either procrastinating or just being very unfocused and more overwhelmed while trying to do the next thing. I’ll begin putting this into practice! 😊
I am a HSP and strenuous physical exercise daily for at least an hour is the most important thing I can do for my self care.
I had to discover it by myself and it was so difficult for me - first to discover it all and then to accept it (as people around me don't need breaks as much as I do or seem not to care about clutter so I was feeling like freak sometimes).
What you're saying is like a manual for being me. And I'm so happy I'm not alone.
❤
You're definitely not alone and there's nothing wrong with needing time for yourself :) I can relate to feeling a bit guilty about needing more breaks than others, but it's just the way it is and we have our own talents that we can use to contribute to the world :) It takes all kinds. Have a great day!!
You're not alone🩷
Thank you for the comment on PE! I felt the same growing up in the Canadian school system. I love exercising now as an adult. PE was a nightmare for me.
Yes!! I wish they would make some changes to how PE is taught, so that all the kids can learn to enjoy exercising, instead of just the kids who are already athletic. I would've definitely been much happier in school if it wasn't taught in this way :)
This is a light bulb moment for me too. Everything you mention rings true toe, including my recent realization that I am terrible at leaving time for fun. The need to create space for rebooting has been something I've felt guilty about. But I'm glad to hear that it's a common need for many of us.
I liked when you said about being agitated by unexpected telephone calls. I am the same way. I never understood it. I like to make appointments for phone conversations and hate it when someone calls out of the blue, especially a video call, and especially from people I don't talk to very often. Somehow I am expecting bad news, or just knocked off my stride. Glad to know I am not alone!
The retreat in bed advice is gold. I've been doing that for some time now and it's one of the best ways for me for recovering from overstimulation
Yes!! :) Happy you enjoy it too
@@SimpleHappyZen thanks!!
Gosh. The phone ringing, beeping, making any kind of noise just sends a course of adrenaline through me. I can deal with noises in general, but I think that the phone ringing means someone wants something from me just stresses me.
Wow, never knew what was "wrong" with me just felt and feel so different from other people. Now everything make sense. Yes, I am a HSP person. It is sooo good to know that I am not alone! Thank you so much for your videoes.
I'm 56. As I've aged, my HSP has worsened with stress & traumatic life events (CPTSD). What's strange is that I used to be *very* neat & orderly (having everything in its perfect place gave me a sense of control and calmed my busy brain). After I went through a series of difficult times, I completely flipped to having a cluttered environment and keeping everything! I have trouble throwing/giving things away for fear I "might need it someday." So, decluttering is #1 on the list I need to do!
I need to declutter, too, although I have never been very organized (just had less stuff)! I have a lot of books and art supplies, paperwork like mail solicitations from charities. I'm sorry for your stress. I wish you well and take good care of yourself through the holidays. 🩷
@@Cynthia.B Thanks for sharing and the nice well wishes! I have an art background, too. Our brains are wired differently than most. Let's make it our New Year's resolution and challenge to declutter this year!
Yes, agreed!@@Wishpool
Hey! Artist here!
A few things have actually really helped improve this situation *for me*
I grew up poor, so I have Scarcity Mindset and even 2 decades of relative financial stability haven’t untangled it all.
Marie Kondo absolutely helped.
More importantly, once I started wanting to invest more time in creating art helped me clarify allll the things that get in my way of being able to!!! And some of it was my belongings.
Side note: have found this gets magnified if you have trauma/losses in your past.
Thanks for sharing your struggles 💖
@@crowquillgal1016 Thanks for the great tips! I haven't heard of Marie Kondo, but I just looked her up. I'll check out her books. And yes, my scarcity mindset definitely set in after a series of difficult times. It's hard to let go of things now, but it's making me miserable at the same time. I appreciate your comment!
It’s means so much to hear “there is really nothing that we cannot do” ❤
Thank you, I have finally found a channel for me. I am an empath and a highly sensitive person. I love people and love helping people, and unfortunately some people take advantage of that and totally drain me, and I really need time to myself to recover from them and charge my own battery. I will try to take better care of myself from now on.
I immediately subscribed to your channel.
This video is a true service for all of us who struggle to find equilibrium while having sensitive nervous systems. Thank you for the tools and reminders.
Hi. I just stumbled across your post. I am familiar with Dr. Elaine Aaron‘s work😊
I discovered the term HSP in my 50’s from my highly sensitive, intuitive girlfriend. I then found Dr. Aaron’s website. Growing up all I ever heard was “ oh you’re too sensitive…… you need to find your strength”
I’ve had my massage therapy practice for 33 years now. The sense of touch is very necessary and very healing. The term kangaroo care is adorable, I hadn’t heard that.
You are doing an amazing job for HSP’s with your videos. This one is excellent. Sending a big hug. - feyre ❤
This made me feel so much better for laying in bed without sleeping. I thought I was just depressed when really I was burnt out and HSP! Thanks so much ❤
Yes, I retreat to my bed and pull the curtains when needed. Maybe 20-30 mins or so and I’ll feel recharged. It’s annoying and I wish I had more stamina, but at least I figured out how to recharge my body/brain
Leaning into what I need - without judgment and without the guilt of how I should or should not feel, what I should or should not do - has been such a game changer. Being able to lean into my true needs makes it possible to access retreating when needed, taking time for a long bath, moving with gentleness allowing my body to lead, allowing my body to soothe my body(!), and soaking in resources as and when I need them! Thank you for bringing together these self-care tips here :)
I found this book 25 years ago and it was a major validation.
I went to a wonderful boarding school and have attended reunions eery five years for the last fifty. As glad as I am to see everyone, I have to make time to go off alone and just be quiet. I'll bring a chair, set it in the meadow and listen happily to the laughter and talk drifting up the hill. Or I'll read for a bit. then I rejoin everyone. The other people all know this about me and no one minds.
I have some PTSD, and always carry earplugs with me since loud sounds and high levels of noise cause me to feel aggresive.
I found out I was hsp a year ago but don't know how to handle it.
This video helped me a lot!
The way you talk and the music are so calming and relaxing.
Thank you for sharing!
Definitely related to "Just doing the fun thing" rather than being so contentious that you wind up never doing anything fun (being an adult is HARD)! My best way to relax is to listen to music 🎵 I can often get too 'in my head' about life, but music pulls me into the present everytime, even if I think it won't work!
I know what you mean about music :) Thanks Bethany, have a great day today!
Vera, you are so wise. I loved the heart charging metaphor. It explains why I often feel like crying happy tears in the presence of beauty, specifically in nature. Great tips 💜
Aw thank you, and yes, that's one of the best things about being a HSP! :)
Thanks for this, I've often felt like an oddball being moved to tears by beauty. Glad it's not just me. ❤
As an ADHD-person I find these pieces of advice being some of the best I've come over. And I have seen and read a lot!
I am working on a lot of these things. Since New Years passed , for the first time in my life, I have been laying awake at night with my eyes closed telling myself that it’s okay if I have to sleep in in the morning. My workouts are not as aggressive. I am noticing the beauty in small things. Lastly, turning inward when I need it. The last two years someone close to me was terminally ill and I felt selfish for not wanting to make so many decisions, watching suffering, and on and on. So now this is my time to do what I need for me. I can relate to all of this. Thank you.~ Tammy
My eyes have just been opened and I know beyond a shadow of doubt that I am a HSP. I always thought that I was an introvert.
Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you!!
I totally relate to all this. People / commitment free days are heaven. I'm often duped into agreeing to do something I don't want to do then stress over it so I need to say No or I'll let you know. This gives us time to see how we'll feel nearer the time. I can't handle pushy people and often feel hunted. Freedom is very important to us I feel. Water is wonderful and fields and trees and animals 🐦
I agree 100%! When I'm put on the spot or questioned, to me it feels like an attack/hunt, and immediately I go into fight or flight. I used to think it was paranoia, but now understand it's part of being a HSP. And sadly, sometimes it IS actually an attack, and we can feel it because HSP's are often empaths as well. So we can "read" intentions well. Xx
I absolutely need at least one weekend day to myself. I straight up will end up calling out of work during the week if the weekend was overwhelmed with people and plans.
this comment and the replies are so insightful to me right now! i'm an hsp but i never knew that this feeling of being hunted and irritable and weary from other people's questions as well as absolutely needing no-obligation days (otherwise i can't rest even if i want to!) also could be attributed to being an hsp!
Can relate to everything you brought up. The hardest part is to AVOID ”the danger” and have this constant awareness.
Your comments regarding gym class in school caused me to remember how anxious I always felt about it. Gym class was terrorizing and torturous for me. Being HSP, caused me to be in an extremely hyper vigilant state in my youth. And this led to panic attacks and other difficulties in accomplishing tasks at school, etc. I wish I had known then what we know now. Instead I thought there was something 'wrong' with me and had very low self esteem. Now I am so content. I love my solitude and have created a life where I can control how much time I spend with people and in stimulating environments. I would add that, multi tasking is something I avoid like the plague....just cannot do it anymore. And the world we live in is built on a foundation of multi tasking....so glad I am retired and feel compassion for those who still have to cope with those expectations. Also, there is great value in a cat's purring softness for soothing the body and mind. This is a very worthwhile video. I am going to share it with my daughter and grandson...Thank You!!!
Wow this is so true. Multitasking drains my battery so quickly-it never fails to surprise me. As a mom taking care of my two babies while trying to work from home, I easily get drained and as early as 10:30 AM I’m so depleted and ready for a nap.
Oh wow. I found my people. HSP that’s me! I started crying when she talked about beauty - yes! Noticing every detail 🍁 I have to retreat from loud hyper people. And they seem to be the opposite- they need stimulation all the time
_retreat myself: relax urself
_Take a healing shower when stress or u feel u need, _improve my sleep no screen time 30 min before sleep
_Take a break after a task, _meditation, breathe
_set boundaries with myself and other
_when my body feel tried I rest a bit maybe like 8-10min
_laugher, doing something that I love , recharge my heart , as sensitive person we need this more often, do something creative
_taking care about my environment
_self care , gentle touch
_go out in nature,get the sun
_two or three task in the morning, acceptable amount of task that are necessary for me
_eat fruit, vegetables, beans,
_not stress about being stress
_gentle with myself, my mind, my body and my soul.
I am a highly sensitive person and am told I am weak and can't get life. I need that book thank you you made me see nothing is wrong with me or my maternal grandmother God rest her soul I miss her so much.
I have stumbled upon this video a month and a half ago, and, since then, I think about it almost on a daily basis :) Your advice and your empathy have really been life-changing. They have helped me to handle pain and conflict in an healthier way by giving me a better understanding of how I process things. I live in Paris, France, and this kind of content, this kind of discourse, are not that frequent in my country, so really thank you so much (and thanks to the algorithm !). I talk about it to all of my friends :)
Glad you are feeling better. Thanks for this channel. Makes me realize I’m probably HSP in addition to ADHD. Definitely overwhelmed by clutter. Definitely over-thinker. Getting better at communicating needs and boundaries, disappointing when criticized for asking for things like turning down the tv etc. as if something is wrong with me or that I’m being rude. I love the idea of personal policies. I don’t answer all phone calls especially after 7 or 8pm. So difficult to schedule white space at work some days are constant meetings even if I block off blank times on my calendar. Recharge your heart - I love cooking fresh food, soups, etc.
100% true about PE lessons at school. they were such a nightmare for me🙈 but now I love exercise! thanks for this video, it is so inspiring, now I feel I'm not alone 🥰
SAME! I loved that she mentioned this. I now find so much joy in strength training - who would've ever thought? :)
I have no idea how I did it but I fought through the embarrassment and became a great athlete and dancer. 😅😂
Thank you so much ❤ I didn't know about this and now I feel that I'm not alone and that I'm not a wrong person, I just need to take care of myself in a different way and most important I don't have to feel bad if I feel different from most of other person I know or because I don't want to go out all the time...this is just me! The most difficult part is the fear of judgment because it's very hard to make people understand how I feel, sometime it's easier try to be like them and resist until I can come back home and feel confortable again. But I don't want to do that anymore. Thanks again! (watching you from Italy)
Thank you. I recently retired at 62. I have worked since 17. It has been interesting I have made a calm place for myself in my room and I find myself relaxing, being alone with myself there often. I love to read and write.
ADHD diagnosed here .. I have always been sensitive to all that you mentioned. It's just the way I am. I do my best to navigate through life. I know my limits and I have policies too. I have friends that get me. I'm very confident in doing my own thing when I need to.
I’ve always thought I was a HSP but watching this video and realising everything on list is what I like to do to calm down and relax has just confirmed it to me. Just listening to you talk about this activities has calmed me down 😍
I’m 75 knew I was sensitive but was always trying not to be weak ! Your description fits me exactly. Thank you, sob 🥲
As I am around more people, feeling intense energies and the holidays being around this is perfect timing
Vera, you make so many good points. And you wisely emphasize that being an HSP can "look" a bit different for each of us. I just want to mention two things that are very different for me from things you list in this video. The first is that I love/need to go to bed with a full stomach. And most nights I get up once or twice in the night for a snack. The second is about clutter and minimalism. I regularly declutter aspects of my home environment, but I am not at all into minimalism. I enjoy a "rich," "warm" and "comforting" home, with not-too-sparse furnishings and decor. More in the vein of natural, bohemian or eclectic decorating styles, rather than minimalist. The minimalist home environment you enjoy would not suit me at all. Love to you.
Wow I never thought I would hear someone say these things that I’ve been thinking for a long time. Especially the one about hating exercise but later in life learning to love walking, yoga, swimming, and dance. Also taking longer to recover from things. I always thought that was just me or something was “wrong” with me
Hi! I just found your channel. I am an HSP and a therapist. It’s so great to read the comments and see the community here. I look forward to more great content. Thank you. A great reminder to stop pushing myself when I need rest and lower stimulation.
Absolutely loved this video! One thing I found helpful was turning off the overhead lights in my office and using just a lamp. I feel like the bright overhead lights are so overwhelming and make me anxious!
All if these things I try to do, but at the same time, need to work on, if that makes sense. I am SUCH an HSP and it makes me feel more “normal” to watch your HSP videos and realize I’m not the only one with these issues and struggles. I’ve said it before here in comments, but I hate wind so much. It’s so loud and overwhelming. I grew up having to go sailing with my dad and hated it for many reasons, but I realize now that the wind issue was a big one, and why I always wanted/needed to just sit in the cabin.
YES! I love the idea of sailing but also immediately think of the wind haha. It's also the reason why I prefer walking over cycling. Anyway, so happy you enjoyed the video and feel free to see these tips as a reminder. :) It's okay, we all need the reminders every once in a while :) Take care and have a wonderful day!!