My Advice for Sensitive People
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- Опубліковано 14 чер 2024
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What does it mean to be a sensitive person, or even a highly sensitive person? How can we make sure to take good care of ourselves as sensitive people, and do the things we need to feel happy and healthy? What makes us different, what are our gifts, our strengths, and how can we deal with things when the world feels overwhelming? That's what today's video is going to be about. :)
Lots of love,
🌼 Vera
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VIDEO CHAPTERS
Sensitivity 0:00
Dealing with strong emotions 1:22
Being overstimulated easily 4:23
Setting boundaries with others 8:04
The best environment for sensitive people 9:53
Wishing more people were considerate 11:20
When loved ones are in trouble 12:43
Day to day life tips 14:21
Exercise as a HSP 15:29
Sensitivity in our partner 16:17
Being sensitive as a man 17:18
HSP as a superpower 18:29
Feeling less than others 20:14
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As an INFJ, an introvert and an HSP, I'm finally, at the ripe age of 64, realizing that the world needs us. We are the ones who think before speaking. We need the movers and shakers, but we also need those of us who contemplate. The world is better for our existence.
Very true, and actually also scientifically proven :) Thanks for sharing Tracy!
@tracyrupp4882 Hello. I am also all of those thing in a 29 years old package. Can you give me some advice as an Infj+introvert+hsp self? What would you say to youngest self?
I would be very grateful if you'd share your wisdom with me/us. Thank you
@@anayaartme too
Infj/hsp 32 years old receiving breakthrough right now. My family doesn't get it and understand or accept it very well and it's tough.
💯🙏🏼💗
When I was a child, my great-grandmother told another relative that I was the shyest, quietest child she had ever come across in her 80 years. In college, one of my best friends would always tell me, and everyone around us, that I have “delicate constitution,” but not in an understanding way. It’s definitely hard to embrace these things as being ok, or even good, when most of the world doesn’t see it that way.
Ah... that must've been tough at times. So important for more people to know about this, and for sensitivity to be framed in a positive way!
I heard the same thing from relatives when I was a kid…. The big shock came when I was around 13 at a doctor check up, the doctor left the room for a few minutes and I looked at my file that was laying on the desk, in there I read: patient is ridiculously scared and sensitive. I was so upset about my self not being “normal”. Anyway 20 years later I realized I am perfect the way I am and don’t need anyone in my life that doesn’t accept me the way I am.
Yeah. I was told I was shy. At one point that I was not friendly or was anti-social. A guy in high school told me I was stuck up! Yep. Definitely misunderstood and I'm glad I came to accept myself and realize that there's nothing wrong with me!
Got married with bestfind
@JMJMJ1 oh gosh, that makes me so mad. I’ve had plenty of doctors and nurses look at me like I had 3 heads when I had to have any sort of medical procedure. Because of my past surgeries and hospital stays that have scarred me for life basically, I now have very high anxiety and PTSD to anything medical, especially painful things like IVs and such. Any medical appointment or procedure that was gonna involve something painful, I literally would go into fight or flight response (mostly fight lol) even over something as small as a flu shot (can’t stand looking at them now, I literally start to panic seeing anything remotely medical.)
Others don’t think it’s a big deal, but it’s a very huge deal for me. That combined with those who did not understand, yeah it was tough. Even I for a long time didn’t understand why I was the way I was.
Seriously though the fact that your doctor wrote that ticks me off.
Being sensitive or highly sensitive is the best! We can see the subtle things that most miss out on, we can appreciate our alone time, when everyone craves for socializing all the time; we can drink a simple cup of tea as if we’re drinking a nectar; we receive a wild flower as if we had been gifted with a diamond; we smell the sea as the best perfume in the world.... And I could go on, but I’m just going to add that I love to eat the simplest thing in the world as if I were eating caviar: a cheese sandwich!
I’ve always set my boundaries, since I was a child: I don’t like crowds, too much noise, artificial light, confusion or people talking at the same time. And if anyone doesn’t understand me or makes fun, I step away. I prefer to be alone to be with someone that doesn’t get me.
I hear too that I’m missing out on many things! GREAT! I want to miss out on noise, loud conversations, unhealthy environments and uninteresting conversations. I’m happy in my simple home, with my simple shells, my simple drifted wood and my simple dried leaves. I’m happy with my simple art journaling and my simple slow stitching.
I do love to travel BUT I always go to bed early no matter if the others find it strange. I don’t care if they find me strange! People find strange that I love broken shells. I am not able to explain them that I see that as scars, as stories they can tell, as travels in the ocean... so if they don’t understand, I just keep quiet and do not share.
Being sensitive is appreciating others, ourselves and our amazing earth, so, yes, it’s an awesome way of being ❤️💙💛💚🖤💜💗🧡♥️
Wonderful!! Thanks so much for sharing Alexandra ❤️✨🌹
I wish I learned to set boundaries earlier and could do this, but unfortunately due to trauma there's no rest in my head or body anymore... I'd love to just be able to chill and not be chaotic all the time. When you feel and experience things so deeply, you are also fragile and the wrong environment can really do you (permanent) harm... Man would I love some good night's sleep. The best sleep I've had the last couple years was while being operated in the hospital LOL 😂
@@Francis-of8cw I’m so sorry for your situation. Trauma can really weigh on us. I believe however that may be overcome with some therapy and counseling, because a professional always knows how to deal with our deepest wounds. I too had the help of a therapist in 2016 and that was really, really important. Sending love from Portugal 💙
Beautifully said and so true, every single word 😍😍😍 thank you
@@sanja7489 Thank you, Sanja 🙏💙💙💙
My YaYa passed last month and talking with her family, they struggle to understand why she was the way she was. I sent this video to them. Since I found your You Tube Channel I have come to better understand myself but also how to help others to understand me without judgements. I had my husband watch one of you videos and after he looked up at me and said, “ This is how it is for you? I never understood. I’m sorry!” It was a wake-up call for him and after 20 yrs he no longer talks to me in the same way. He asks if I need time alone or in the quiet. I’m so Grateful to you. So blessed to have found you here. Thank you. In my book your AMAZING! ❤❤❤❤
That's wonderful 💜
@runifaryman449 sorry if I butchered your username lol but I will say this; I’m so glad your husband is understanding you better!! 😃
When I was a little girl, my mom would tell my sister to be gentle with me because I "had a fragile heart that broke easily".Thank you for this video!
Yes Vera, we are the ones whose eyes swell up with tears at the sight of something beautiful, whether that be in nature, art, music, other people's suffering.
We are the ones who take nothing for granted and give gratitude for things others may consider "insignificant ".
Thank you as always for your lovely and helpful comtent.
Wow, so lovely :) Thanks for sharing and have a great week!
@@SimpleHappyZenvera. Can you do a video on this topic?*
'Does sensitive people choose to be sensitive?'
People say we can choose how we act and react to situations. And they constantly tell me, its your choice to care too much or not. Its your choice to mind your own business. Its your choice to think negatively. Im sorry to say, it pisses me the fuc** off. Why are people making things seem easier than they actually are? No one asks to be born this way. They just do 😮💨
And they keep saying;
Why do you even bother explaining your sensitivity?
If you want people to understand you you should make the effort to understand other people too.
Just because i lack mental capacity to care about others doesn't mean i don't try at all. I do. But because im highly sensitive people always dismiss my effort as BARE MINIMUM 😮💨
I would never trade my empathic abilities no matter how difficult it can sometimes be...and I chose that word 'abilities' on purpose as I feel us highly sensitive people are here on this world for a reason. Most of us are the artists, the environmentalists, the social workers, the writers, etc. of this world and we all have our places in it. The things I've learned is to put an 'energetic barrier' around myself before I leave my house if I know I'm going to be going into a challenging environment. I'll also wear one of my crystals or keep a tiny stone or little tiny piece of a branch in my pocket that I can touch to keep 'grounded.' And after, to recover, I'll need to be in nature - having bare feet on the ground helps immensely. I once dated a guy who told me I was "too sensitive" so I broke up with him a week later and said he wasn't sensitive enough haha.
Love everything you shared, thanks so much Francine!! That last remark was so cool hahaha
@SimpleHappyZen I agree 😁 I might use that remark if someone says I’m too sensitive lol
Quiet time and alone time are valuable stress relief and are healthy way to cope with people, places and things causing anxiety.
What a blessing you are for so many people! I’m 73 and I’ve always been sensitive and I have learned to be quite happy by living my life the very best I can! Of course, age has given me a lot of knowledge about what’s important but each one of us are unique and we should embrace and feel confident in how we were made! Thank you Vera for such uplifting advice!
I read a book several years ago about HSP's. Bingo...I finally understood me. Why I did not like crowded places, why I always look for a way out, why I don't like loud anything or bright lights, why after a big family celebration, I had to go to my bedroom and rest and be alone, why I hated parties and socializing, etc... I finally know what's "wrong" with me. Not my words, but other's words. When I try to explain the sensitivity I hear, "Oh, everyone is sensitive." When I try to explain that it's a deeper level and can be painful, I just get blank stares. Oh well, at least I have my answers. 🙂
@osbo54 yeah my dad said that “everyone has a little sensitivity in them” but it’s more than that. He also said it’s “part of your personality,” which is true, partially, but it’s also just how I’m made biologically, and that cannot be changed.
There was something that bothered me the other day very deeply (it was this plant face thing where plants were coming out of this guy’s head and his face had come off, and in photoshop we were supposed to do that with our own faces. I hated the idea and it affected me deeply. Still haven’t done it.)
All my dad had to say was that I need to get out of that mode of being sensitive and learn to not have it bother me. But I can’t help it!! It’s who I am!! Eventually I’m just gonna have to hand him the book and make him read it. At least he’s trying to understand, I mean he’s the one that got me the book in the first place.
Which book did you read?
@@Marie-jy5ix The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine Aron.
@@osbo54 thank you! :)
3:43 is soooo helpful. I always tend to absorb emotions, if someone is angry i also feel angry if someone is sad i also feel sad. Its good but sometimes it is not helpful since there are days when I need to accomplish a lot of things however I accidentally absorb the negative emotions of the people around me.
So what I also do is I ask myself 3 questions:
1. Am i being logical or emotional?
2. Is this thought useful?
3. Will my future self thank me for this?
These questions also helped me stop overthinking and it also helped me make better decisions. I hope these also help my fellow HSP😊💕
Oh wow, great advice!!
I should try asking myself these questions because I really easily absorb negative emotions and it makes it impossible to get things done
When I was a young girl, we were driving through the city, and I saw a old man going through a garbage bin. I broke down and cried for two days about how sad life can be for some of us. My Mum said I was acting like Sarah Bernhardt, ( a famous old time actress). It hurt! By the time I was twelve, she had me on antidepressants. So I understand what being over sensitive feels like!
So sorry to read this❤ I relate to your story, and what helped me tremendously with both the inconceivable brutality and injustice in society, and the brutal lack of empathy from family and friends, was the concept of the banality of evil, by Hannah Arendt. Everyday people can engage in ex racial violence, or get used to seeing homeless people around them and feeling absolutely nothing about it, just by being common everyday people, immature, lazy, risk averse, afraid to think a little bit for themselves and afraid to not follow the mainstream. In nazi Germany, common people who worked for the state, arrested and killed jews, not because each one of them were beasts, they just didn t engage in resistance and free thinking. They do know it though, deep down inside them, and their shame makes them super agressive towards us, whenever we stand up for our values, or cry and scream about injustices, because it makes them feel inadequate. At the age of 41, I have managed to pick a few friends-chosen family with who we can both scream, cry and laugh together, and I try to choose my battles wisely. Sending you love and courage❤❤
Aw, why is this so wholesome, bittersweet, and so RELATABLE??? I bet you would’ve wanted to go help him if you could!!
With 8 billion people now on earth, I feel like I have to minimize my exposure to the busy noisy world that I no longer recognize as the world that I grew up in. Thank you for being a positive influence in a crazy mad insane world.
This video is very helpful and I appreciate the fact that you are getting this information out into the world Vera. Back when I was growing up, I was told by a therapist that I needed to develop a "thicker skin". Now I know that basically you cannot change who you are and that no matter how well-
meaning that therapist was, it was the wrong thing to say to a kid who was struggling. We are who we are.
I agree. So sorry you were told that. I have similar experiences from back when I was younger. :) I hope more and more caregivers start to learn about high sensitivity in the future.
I can relate. This is also really like salt in the wounds when it’s the case of toxic fam hurting you. But even in a decent fam, things can just be handled so poorly imo with a lack of understanding and being so misunderstood all the time. Sigh. I agree also. It’s just kinder to first accept people first “as is” and then go from there. But I have to also say, a lot of therapists don’t know their stuff and are sometimes more lost and ignorant than their patients are. In my case they didn’t know squat about narcissism in a parent either. I DO hope they can catch up at some point. I did so much better in support groups and also with folks who had also “been there.” They Def seemed to “get it” so much better than any pros did. At least for me. But I’ve heard many a horror story about bad therapy in the groups as well.
When people say my daughter needs a thicker skin just ask them where exactly are the shops that sell them? I'm probably just sensitive rather than highly sensitive she wants to be a psychologist but I'm a bit worried it will be too traumatising for her dealing with other people's problems all the time, as with all medical jobs and social work working in disaster zones etc you need somehow to be able to switch off from work related trauma.
@@sarahmacrae8277 We definitely need to feel our way through work situations...and all situations and find what works best for us. Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who understands the unique wisdom and challenges that highly sensitive people have.
Yeah.. The video is helpful.. But the comment section is (strangely) 100% feminine.
Now why is that ?
a) Because HSP men have to hide it socially ? or b) Because only women are HSP ?
I think that can be the topic of a new video, there. Do HSP men struggle more, since it can be considered as a form of "weakness" ? 🤔🤨
Vera, this video helped me so much to better understand my friend who is highly sensitive. Your suggestions and insights will be things I will remember when spending time with my dear friend. In fact, it’s her high sensitivity that is one of the many reasons I love her so much. I just want to be as good a friend to her as she is to me. Thank you!
Oh I love that, you're such a good friend to her! 🌺
I read your recommended book The Highly Sensitive Person. Something clicked, finally, and because of you and learning about being a HSP, I am changing many things in my life, and no longer apologizing to others who may never understand. I've changed jobs and made many other healthy changes to take charge and no longer allowing others to cross my boundaries. This channel has helped change my life, THANK YOU!!!💗💗💗🙏
Aw so wonderful, I'm so happy for you Elizabeth!!! 🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
It’s so nice to hear that :) I’m definitely going to give the book a read too!
Thank you for this video.....I a 72year old woman who was told at a very young age I could not wear my heart on my sleeve by my mother and I needed to toughen up.....your placing your feelings in view helps us all confirm our lives....your statements help to confirm our being....that we do have choices to manage ourselves and that we were born this way and there is nothing WRONG with us....again thank you...
Sending you a big hug Scheila 🤗🌼✨
SO many good points in this video. I am an extrovert who is an HSP and a lot of people don't get how I can be the life of the party one day and the next I just want to be by myself. I've learned that making "me" time is the most important thing for me and setting personal boundaries, whether it be in person or on social media. That self preservation instinct is a strong one, listen to it!
So true! 😊 Happy to hear you enjoyed the video
Yup HSP and extrovert to a degree here!
I love embracing all the little things too - art, nature, simple beauty in things other people do not see. Thanks for sharing another heartfelt video. You're a gem to this world!
Ah yay, thank you! :)
Hey Vera , I have always thought that “ I get overwhelmed with too much going on around me …” , I didn’t realize that I am not alone in this field.
Balance is the key word !
Getting out of my comfort zone periodically is good for me ….and coming back home to my “ alone time “ to recover from noise and crowds.
Ah I love that! So true :)
Thanks a lot, Vera! 🌸🌸🌸
I'm starting to feel a normal person thanks to you!
My family refused to accept my sensitivity.
They were annoyed with it.
Since my childhood I've been constantly blamed for being too shy, too unsociable, too reactive.
For paying attention to small details I've been blamed as being fastidious.
I' ve been blamed for showing off, for improper emotions.
I've been suffering from hypersensitive skin and digestion.
My parents were telling me, that everyone was normal, but me.
I was shamed for being too sensitive.
I was demanded to train myself to become different, more unflappable, more brave, more enduring.
I never knew, that I was sensitive.
I felt inappropriate, defective...
Four years ago I got completely broken both physically and emotionally.
I got serious issues with my health.
I'm now getting out of the "darkness".
I'm learning to live anew.
I'm learning to accept my sensitivity.
I'm learning to take care of myself.
I'm very grateful to you for your review!
They do support me very much!
Next month I will turn 65 and it is only in the last couple months I learned about HSPs, I've always been one. Everything fell into place for me! Being a people pleaser who so easily read the emotions of others, I worked hard at trying to adjust myself to the "other" so they could be more comfortable. Often I would grow resentful because others never seemed to feel the need to adjust to me. "Party pooper" was a common comment I heard when growing up. It's been a journey to learn to accept myself and set boundaries. Now with this knowledge it's easier to understand and accept myself and other HSP, now I can even start to celebrate the trait! Thank you for your wonderful channel.
Thank you Vera for sharing your personal experience! I struggle at work with people that are loud; however I look forward to my 15 minutes break in a quiet area reading a book. Please continue to share your thoughts and tips on how to live a simple life!
Ah yes, I used to do that too when I was working in an office :) Totally okay to take breaks by yourself! :)
Apart from the bad things told from the toxic people I encountered in my life, a good thing I always got told was how much beauty and excitement I found in every little thing in life and how much people around me loved it. When I would feel excited about something small or appreciate such thing so much, as well as find something 'simple' so amazingly beautiful, it made and makes people around me appreciate them more or laugh. I share that feeling with the people around me and I keep finding myself in love with simple things I get back to, even in my darkest times. Now I didn't know it was an HSP common trait, but if it is, I can't even begin to imagine how nice it can be to know someone that way and experience life together, but I also see how it completes so well someone who isn't. :)
Lucky for you people don’t stare at you like you’re weird when you show your appreciation for something.
I especially liked the point about contemplating on our feelings. I used to think that feelings were always reliable indicators of reality. If I felt like I was not good enough, I thought it must be true. Now I tell myself that it's 'just a feeling'. Other times, a feeling is a fool-proof sign of something - like when you're feeling overwhelmed, you probably need a little break.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. My ex always made me feel like a failure. 3 years later I'm finally starting to realize it's ok to be myself. 💙
Thank you for your channel. Thank you also to the comments from senior HSP people. I’m 75, and just now realizing I m not broken, that I’m not “less than”. Wish I had learned about who I am sooner, but never too late to learn and make changes.
Love that you embraced your wavy hair! My daughter has wavy/curly hair. Still trying to figure that out since my hair is very straight.
Just found you on UA-cam and am binging your Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) content.
I've always been a sensitive person and all this resonates with me. Thank you for sharing this information! 💜
This is such a beautiful and important video! 💖I found out I was a HSP at 27 (so about 3 years ago) and it completly changed my life, suddenly I understood myself and my life up until then. As a teacher at highschool in Norway I feel that my HSP is indeed a superpower. I am really able to connect with my students, notice if something is of and if someone needs help. I feel like I am really able to see them and they tend to feel safe talking to me, so I often find myself talking to students about life and mental health, even things like suicide. Our ability to be observant, empathic and understanding is a GIFT, and I do feel like it is a superpower both in my work, but also in my private life of course. Yes it can be quite challenging, but life is not easy for anyone, and I would choose this kind of hard any day, because I appreciate the good things about it so much more and I would never choose that away! It's when we accept and really lean into our sensitivity that it becomes a true superpower!💖😊
Wow, I love this so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I'm sure you are an absolutely brilliant teacher.
@@davidbrentslifecoach Thank you for saying that!
@@SimpleHappyZen 🥰❤
I'm a high school teacher in Switzerland and I feel and experience the same.🙂
This hit the mark exactly! Thank you Vera, for such a good amount of information in one video. Resignated with so much of it and of the viewers' questions. I even teared up several times, just seeing the birds and scenery that you put on the video. Yes, very sensitive, but I would not want to change a second of my life and lose the feelings that I have when I see beauty in the world the way that I see it! I can't imagine other people not being sensitive, and just walking by and saying oh well that's just a bird on the twig or a flower or whatever and on their way they go. I can't imagine not having the deep full body experience to my soul. Glad you could do this video.
Haha yes, I feel like that too sometimes 😂 Oh yeah, cute bird, and then they walk on. Hihi. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, happy you enjoyed the video!
I love birbs, they’re adorable, I especially love watching the finches and the way they hop around, they’re just so darn cute!! I’d love to have a little finch one day. 🥰 @SimpleHappyZen
There’s also a hotel I go to that has a finch cage, and that’s literally the only reason I go to the hotel is to see the birbs 😁 I do wonder if I’m being judged but mostly I don’t care lol
I grew up in a home with bickering parents and a lot of stress. I was told a lot that I was thin-skinned, too touchy, etc. Reading Dr. Aron’s book was eye opening and answered a lot of questions. My experiences suddenly made sense.
I can relate :) Thanks for sharing, have a great week!!
I require a lot of solitude and alone time for myself.. a lot of people take this as I don't care about them very much, which is actually the complete opposite. I love my family and friends with all my heart, but just need a lot of "me" time for my own balance and happiness.
Ah yes, I can relate :) Thanks for sharing!!
I have recently learned after all these years of being a sensitive, emotional person that I am an empath. This explains sooooo much! I, too, am very sensitive and moved by music and nature and art to the point I have to be very careful what types of these things I entertain.
At 75 years of age, I just read the book you mentioned (The Highly Sensitive Person) and Wow, it was me, me ,me, all the way through, the good and the bad. Now I see my life in a whole new perspective and will use this info in planning my Golden years.
This topic was perfect and came at the right time. I never thought of myself as a HSP but after watching your video I do have many of the characteristics. I really value quiet, soft lighting, gentler music, slow living and limited stimuli. The opposite really stresses me and I often have a difficult time when overwhelmed.
I've never thought of being sensitive as a super power and I like how you frame it that way. In my life it's always been treated as something negative. I need to stop being so sensitive, not let things bother me, grow a thicker skin, etc. It's nice to hear the opposite for a change
Even my dad who flipping GOT me the book on high sensitivity told me I need to learn how not to let things bother me so much. But I can’t help it, it’s just naturally how I react to certain things!! Kinda ticked me off. In his defense he hasn’t read it, I think one day I’ll make him read it.
Yessss! Growing up and even now as a 39 years old adult I view being sensitive as something negative because of what I heard growing up and feeling like you are not like everyone else. I'm now learning to love and accept myself for who I am.
My response to the ‘you make time for people you care about’ comment would be exactly, I care about myself therefore I am making time for myself
I'm so thankful that being a HSP is something that is talked about more these days. I wish I had known about this when I was younger, it would have made my life so much easier! So many things that have happened in my life make a lot more sense now that I know I'm highly sensitive. Thank you for making and sharing videos like this! ♥️🙏
I wish that too :) I hope my videos can play a small part in that for as many people as possible :)
Thank you Vera, for this video. I’ve wanted to read Dr. Elaine Aron’s book on Highly Sensitive People for years now. What I loved most of this video is that I felt understood and comforted with a shared, unique commonality with so many others in the comments.
Wonderful :) Happy to hear it. Hope you'll get to read her book too! :)
I also always had a huge appreciation for nature, always saw the tiny. Details the sun shining on it the smell, the structure
, the texture,
and I didn’t knew what to relate it to.
Hi Vera, I love what you said about HSP’s are not wasting their lives, my son for example who is 19 and is extremely sensitive and empathetic is also an extrovert who is a complete thrill seeker, he wants to try everything but like you said Vera he will need to take more time to rest after a day at the amusement park because he’ll go on every ride 3 times 🎢 ….then he can get quiet and just want time to himself after so much interaction with others. He always knew what he needed, I had to learn when not to push him and just let him be and he is living his life to the full! I don’t believe we have to be busy every moment to feel like we are not wasting our life away. Loved all the advice Vera and it really hits home here for me, everyone here can benefit from this 🧡
Oh I love this so much 🥰💕
i actually learned to be rude to rude people but im so nice to people who are nice to me its the perfect balance
but i still try to avoid negative people because its stupid to be mean to each other
Highly sensitive man and extrovert, (ESFJ 9w1 lol). Slowly learning to accept and embrace myself. Thank you so much for your insights, they are very helpful! 🙌🏽❤️
I really appreciate all of this. Thank you. The world needs more empathy not less. 🙏🏻💚
I agree! Thanks, happy you enjoyed the video :)
Thanks! Beautifully said. I have experienced the highs (superpower) and lows (extreme overwhelm) of being a HSP. I wish there had been this kind of knowledge and support when I was a kid. I was forced to be tough (even as a girl) as a kid, despite my physical sensitivities and feeling everyone's emotions all the time. I developed some chronic lifelong health conditions partly due to this. When I was finally allowed to be myself it was so freeing. I wish everyone could live their lives fully as their true selves.
Several times during this video I about came to tears either because I felt so understood or the B-roll image was so beautiful. My whole life I've felt alien compared to others, especially when I started working professional jobs. I DEEPLY wanted to be more...more energetic, more commanding, more authoritative, tougher, stronger...basically opposite of me. I didn't realize HSP was a thing (like my brain is physically wired differently, it's not something I can just "get over"), till I recently started going to see a pelvic floor physical therapist after having shooting abdominal pain for years since having my children. The PT could not get over how much tension is in my body and did several things such as deep abdominal massages or dry needling in my neck and back to try and relieve tension. With each thing I would get flu like symptoms, loose my appetite for several days, or even throw up out of nowhere. When we connected those symptoms with the therapy, my PT concluded that my nervous system was so overloaded by those therapies that my body couldn't handle it...she had had a handful of clients like that in the past who were all very empathetic, intuitive, caring people.
Anyway, its SO validating to see why I am the way that I am, but also disturbing that I resent and feel shame about the parts of myself that I have no control over...I spent my whole life trying to "fix" it or mask it, so its going to take a while to accept that part of me.
You know, it is the truth no matter what kind of nature we have or what age we are it is so valuable to learn how to take care of ourselves in the ways that we know will work for us. I find your advice so relateable and practical at the same time and hopeful because the way you explain things, its easy to understand and not at all overwhelming. Thank You. I also think it is valuable to learn that if other people dont understand the way you take care of yourself truly that is not their concern. They are not you. They have freedom too to take care of themselves as they see fit and when you see them doing that you do know you have that exact same right whether they agree with you or not. It amazes me how much people some people can try to intervene with things that you know you are doing for yourself that are highly beneficial and some of those people I do think rather than try to explain things which you should not HAVE to explain, as if you are on trial for being who you are, all those people can go take a hike and take care of themselves. It is quite unworkable to let them dominate your energy. Those who cant accept you as the person in charge of your own life you can be polite to but truly they need to learn to stay in their own lane and if they can't you have to find a way to distance yourself from them or they will eat up your whole life like Pacman in the ancient video games.
Thank you very much for making this wonderful video. I have been criticized a lot in the last 2 years for being a life long highly sensitive person. Both people totally disregarded my feelings & kept yelling & scolding me & telling me to toughen up & to " Stop Being such a Sensitive Person!" & to Just Stop it & Grow a Thicker Skin!
I have heard all those phrases all of them. I can really relate to you I can. My mom is a very complex person in my life. She thinks crying is a weakness. If I start crying she says stop it. Get tough. Heard that all if my life. I ret feel like there is something wrong with me. You know my parents are the tough love people. With a person like me. That does not work. I really feel crazy I do. But listening to you I feel much better. Who doesn't cry? Like its a badge of honor that bothers me. It really does
Thank you for this, reminding me of being hsp.
Demands have been killing me inside, literally feeling like having been raked through.
It may take a week to recover.
The whole gung-ho world pathologized and excludes me as "weak."
Even though I'm not an HSP, it's always interesting to hear more about the subject! Education really is key (no matter what the topic is), and it's even better when people are willing to be open-minded and get to know others who are different from them in some way. Thank you for sharing this information, Vera! 😊
Vera, thanks to you I finally understand myself more! I always thought I was weird or that there was something wrong with me! But now I feel like I am a superhero. 💗
I LOVE that I connect with nature on a much deeper level. A pretty sunset or a starry sky or a flower brings me so much true joy. Music touches me so deeply, and I love that! I love that because I am very good at picking up on other people's vibes, I can be someone who is relaxing to spend time with. I am able to put people at ease and make them feel comfortable, and that is honestly a super power. 🥰 I love that I'm HSP! 😍
Ah this made me so happy 🥰💕🥰💕
I am a HSP and so is my 6 year old. A lot of what you said is helpful for me in helping her. Recently we were somewhere with lots of other kids and in the lesson being taught, there came up something about animals dying, and my daughter was hysterical while everyone else was just like "aw, that's sad," and moved on. She was hyperventilating and shaking and so upset. It's an odd feeling because I am simultaneously incredibly proud of her and incredibly sad for her. She feels so deeply, everything. She is super in tune with people and animals and she loves fiercely. ❤️ she is very outgoing though, so she was raising her hand to tell the speaker that that was not OK. She is not afraid to stand up for justice and good. I'm a proud momma. 👏
I’m not sure, but I think I may be a hsp. Im 68 now, but As a child- I was bullied, teased and made fun of by other kids and sometimes by adults. I cried a lot. I was always told I was “too sensitive , I needed to “ stop wearing my feelings on my sleeve“ and I needed to “toughen up. “ Things others took for granted were overwhelming to me. I enjoy solitude and being in my own with my thoughts. I notice things in nature, color sounds patterns, movement that others don’t notice. When I bring attention to these things, sometimes people look at me as though I’m from another planet.
These things bring me joy and re- energize me. I’ve learned to accept and enjoy myself and I’m so very glad I never wanted to “toughen up.”
Thank you for this. Took note of the 10 habits. Yes, I have to work more on number 7. 😊
Thanks for your lovely sensitive video, as always. It is a joy watching you and brightens my days. 😀
Aw thank you so much Claudia 💕🤗✨
Thank you for looking after our sensitve souls out there , big love
I love this “eye-opening” video. Thank you!!
In addition to our wonderful Vera ❤, I have also found helpful the book “Quiet” by Susan Cain.
Thank you Vera. I really like your videos. I'm not sure I'm a real HSP, but your videos really help me, your advices are really relevants. I'm lucky to have known your channel. Love 🙏☄️✨💞
Whoa. Thank you so much Vera. We are not alone -- I've told many a time that "I'm too much." Thank you tons.
Even I like green tea,watch birds,walking along with nature being in solitude ……! ❤❤
I can totally relate to this video. My husband gets confused as to why I am often overwhelmed by traffic and large crowds. I have realized that I need down time to recharge. Being an HSP is a gift and I wish more people understood it more.
Very true! :) Maybe your hubby will understand better now :)
I came here for some of your simple living content, but hearing that you're also a HSP and talk about it on YT is what is keeping me here 💖. I recently learned about the concept of an HSP and it was mind blowing to me and everything in my life made sense. Thanks for talking about this, it's refreshing!
Ah so wonderful! Happy to hear that things made sense for you like that :) It was the same for me. :)
So funny this is your topic today and i fully embrace it. Had a long conversation with my Dad last night and a big topic was sensisitivity (we are the sensitive ones in the family. Such a contrast to my Mom and my siblings).
Love your quote in the beginning. One of my favorites. I find as a sensitive person, jounaling is helpful. It's hard when others you can sometimes feel others prey on sensitivity as if they look at it as a weakness when its not.
How it benefits me is when I get hurt by a situation it makes me not want to hurt others in that way and be ultra cautious. Also, absolutely love watching movies (my Dad too)...I love feeling as if I am experiencing what the character us that I feel so connected with. I find with movies the connections with characters are what makes me enjoy them more. Probably explains why I feel nothing and cannot get into Marvel franchise films and I am so sorry if anyone on here feels opposite of that.
And thank you for mentioning that book. I have heard about it and felt kind of in denial about being sensitive but after having do many conversations with my Dad about we realize it's to be embraced. I will add that to my reading list.
Ah that sounds like perfect timing then!! 😊💕
Yep! An HSP here. I wish people understood this trait more. Thank you.
Yes, it's time to talk about it more :)
Thank you for today's video and your thoughtful comments on being a sensitive person. I felt totally engaged with what you said about noticing the detail in the beauty of nature, being true to your values and setting boundaries for rest and solitude. I'm so glad that I heard this message today along with your soothing pictures. ❤️
Yay, happy to hear it! Thanks Helen! :)
I can not even begin to tell you how immensely comforting this video was for me. It’s like you opened up my brain and read it. I am so grateful. Like crying grateful. Because… I feel that gratitude SO deeply. My husband is very even tempered. He calms me, and he loves to observe my deep feelings and passion about….EVERYTHING! The one thing bad about being an HSP for me is that I grew up with abuse and so it intensified all the pain. It’s hard.
We all matter just remember that, what makes you unique is allowing life to embrace the good and bad feeling your emotions. Don't feel the fear feel the feeling . I appreciate your honest genuine self, Take care.
I want to thank you very much for the knowledge and awarness that i got through your videos.
I found out that I'm a highly sensitive person my whole life. All these years I was searching and reading, trying to fix my self and asking every single day whats wrong with me!. Thank you. I'm reading the book ( highly sensitive person) that you recommended. THANK YOU!❤❤❤
Thank you for making me feel normal Vera! Your videos help me so much. It's so liberating to know I am not the only person who experiences this :) ❤
Totally normal!! :) Thanks Wendy, glad you enjoyed the video :)
I am enjoying that trait of being sensitive. It's so wonderful to feel all the beautiful and amazing things around but, you're right, it takes a huge toll. When traveling, I plan visits to museums and busy places on different days with a time to take a cafe at a terrasse or go back to my place. I am a teacher and it takes a lot of energy to teach and interact with my students. I LOVE IT but I am drained every time right after and just feel like hiding in my office for a good hour 🙂 Still, my mom and my husband both have a difficulty understanding that I need that time "off", not my daughters who are a bit the same as me and have the same need. But life is so beautiful when you feel so much; you just need to acknowledge it and get organize around it.
Glad you mentioned that some sensitive, empathic people enjoy extreme sports 😃🌻
Vera, This subject from a person like you who is experienced is so life saving, ..It saddens me how I have been misunderstood and growing up with dysfunction in family has been devestating expzrience that Im recovering from. I remember when I was on my own I was able to create conditions and habits that helped me do well. I have been cast out of family for this as they see me as weak, different weird and yes while I know my parents are mentally deranged..Im still trying to step into this true self, but until I am secure enough to remove myself from that Its like drowning alot of the time. I Believe Barbra streisand explained this well, saying that with this suffering you have to realize that there is a superpower behind it and thats the places and settings you want to be in. Your energy can be used to create not be like a heightened awareness in a overstimulating pointless energy sapping place. Recently your videos have truly helped me remember the details of how I feel and why ..when I really needed that help. Praise your content and ability to put yourself out there as a HSP. THANK YOU VERA.
Vera. It’s so crazy, but I am the exact same person as you are as far as sensitivity goes. For the most part, my family and friends understand exactly why I am the way I am, but it’s still hard because a lot of times they’re doing cruises on cruise ships and things of that nature and I know that I am so sensitive that that will drain me for weeks not to mention that I am afraid of water and I don’t like to do things of that nature. And I’ve learned that I love the slow pace of life and I’m so grateful that I quit my job because I do enjoy cooking and reading and yoga and just doing things slower ever since I had my burn out years ago it was so bad I literally didn’t know if I was gonna make it or not in life but I know Know that I am just incredibly sensitive and that it’s OK if I wanna live a social life and I don’t have to conform and do what others do just because they want me too. And some days I am so sensitive that a song can literally teleport me in my head or in just feeling so incredibly low or incredibly high that I can change my mood just by listening to a sad song or a happy song. Things that didn’t normally make me cry make me cry now I do think me being an empath is a super power and I can read a room so quickly and I can almost feel what people are thinking which is absolutely crazy but there’s times where I will answer my husband and he did not actually say anything out loud but he was saying something within his head, and I actually answered him and he just completely looks at me like I’m crazy, but then laughs and says Yep that’s you! ❤ I love cooking and lighting a candle and just being still or watching my favorite movie over and over and over because it brings me such comfort. And what you say about travel is so true. We have a home also in Florida and when we are down there because now I’ve been there many times and I’ve gotten used to the scenery and the community. I can finally feel restful when I’m there but it does take me 3 to 4 days just to acclimate being down there and just to get a little bit of my energy back but travel is very hard for me so I don’t do it often. ❤
17:11 this question hit me hard because I often feel the same way and am told similar things. I’d like to recommend stoic philosophy. Fee your feels but nobody needs to know unless you want them to. It’s how I’ve come to grips with both “masculine and feminine” traits within and not being influenced by external things… or at least not too much.
Love this video. Elaine Aron’s book also changed my life. High sensitivity can be challenging in a world that is not set up for those of us who have this trait, but once we learn to set up our own worlds and take care of ourselves in the most supportive ways for our particular energy and traits, we can stop struggling to fit into a world that is not designed for us. Instead we can create our lives in a way that works best for us, and enjoy all of the beautiful benefits that high sensitivity brings to us. Thank you for this video!
Wow, beautifully said Nancy!! Thanks so much for sharing :)
I just found your videos and I’m so happy I did. I am definitely a Highly sensitive person. Also an empath. it’s very difficult for me in crowd, loud noises among other things.
Great topic. I can totally relate to the content of this video. Being highly sensitive definitely has its challenges--right from childhood to the present. On the plus side, I have channeled that trait into two successful and fulfilling careers: counselling and writing.
That sounds wonderful! :)
So good all the information I've struggled often in life with my sensitivity but as of late I've embraced these as positive traits. Starting with yourself can make for others to be accepting of you. No better place to start then with you.
Hi Vera, how are you? I always find your content on being an HSP fascinating. Carry on being you, because you are fabulous! Have a lovely weekend. x
Yay, thank you!! 🤗🌺💕 I'm doing well, hope you are too
Thank you Vera for a very positive video. After living my life worrying about what others thought of how sensitive I can be, I have now started to ignore this and be myself, which has made my life so much easier and happier. My true friends accept me for who I am and respect the fact that I am sensitive and can find some things hard to deal with. Your advice is just perfect and encouraging. Thank you Vera 💚
Oh that's so wonderful!!! 🥰 Good for you 🤗
Wow, this was eye opening for me. Thank you!
Thank you so much for what u do, im so happy that I found your channel. I can most definitely relate🙏💛
You seem to be hitting the right notes for me lately as I’m trying to get back into mindfulness & I’m also quite a sensitive person so this is the perfect video for me today 👊👍
Happy to hear you're enjoying my content! :) Have a great weekend
At first I didn't understand how I feel people's moods and pain, how I know who will phone or text me, or who is almost around the corner coming to see me. I didn't know, that it's my high sensitivity makes me see and feel things other people don't really notice. Then I stumbled across this information about highly sensitive people and learned to stay in control. And I learned to use this gift to help other people, people who do not have the same gift.
I also learned to block negative energy that can attach to HSPs and make them emotional and sick.
I learned that I can be victorious and happy.
I am a highly sensitive person too, love being alone, some people said I am depressed and anti social.
Indeed I am tired of people, I feel myself uncomfortable in noisy places.
We have a garden and I love to be there and play with my dog or hear the birds singing or just sit there with a cup of tea and with a good book.
This is why I do not have kids to be honest.
I love them but I am afraid I won't be able to handle it, as children are bubbly and make noise all the time.
I know it seems to be selfish but it is just the truth.
I have multiple reasons for not wanting children, and what you mention is a big one, so you're not alone. I don't really see how it is selfish, to be honest - it's not like we owe it to anyone to procreate 🙂
I was sooo surprised and pleased to see you and a video of yours show up on my work news page!! Keep being true to you! 🙂
I have just watched a couple of your videos and i'm so happy I found your channel! Multiple times a day I have to tell myself 'That's normal for you, it's your sensitivity' in order to not go crazy and spiral into overthinking and negativity. Just a few days ago I told my boyfriend that sometimes I feel so different to everybody else. It's so comforting to have this reminder that I am not the only one. As you say, accepting the high sensitivity can be the biggest superpower. Since doing so I have met many people (all non-HSPs) who like me and appreciate my company for who I am and my different ways of living and doing things. Infinitely grateful for the work you are doing making us feel part of something bigger and also spreading information about high sensitivity. I watched your video on self care tips and I 100% agree with everything you say. Looking forward to practicing more of those habits!
Thank you Vera☀ You have inspired me☀
Making little adjustments is such a great phrase. And so practical.
Vera such a lovely and thoughtful video. Your tips and understanding is very helpful. I really despise the saying. Man up. You don't know what the person is going through. Some people just don't know what compassion is. Sending hugs ❤
Ah yes, so true. Sometimes small words can do a lot of damage... Thanks for sharing your thoughts Cathy, have a great week!!
Spot on. Thanks for the reminders.
Thank you Vera, I feel understood 😊
So happy to hear that 🤗💕
I've been looking forward to a new video on sensitivity so I was super happy to see this one appear 🙂. I honestly think your videos are the best on the subject and the tips you give are so very helpful. I really hope that one day you and Dr Aron will make a video together on the subject - that would be so fantastic and informative to watch!
Any time I try to explain the HSP experience, I meet with resistance. Most seem to think I’m trying to make myself appear special-or I’m making excuses to explain away neurosis…or justifying a weak disposition. I no longer try to explain myself or the HSP experience to anyone. Most folks live through our/their own experience of life, and translate through our/their own filter…which seems to almost always result in my being broken, lazy, weak-willed, neurotic. Sure, I can be all those things once in a while-but so can all humans. I find it best to seek internal validation from myself and not seek external approval or understanding from people. I can live a far more peaceful and happy life that way.
Thank you for your beautiful presence. Your inspiring, thoughtful and gentle videos provide light and life . ❤️😊
I can imagine that that's a problem... I think it may be helpful in that case to not label yourself, but rather to just say e.g. what stresses you out or gives you a headache or whatever. So that it doesn't seem like you're trying to seem special but instead, the focus is on just describing what you need. Who knows, maybe that might help others to also become more aware of what they need... Sensitive or not, everyone might benefit when more people are aware of their needs and it would be a normal thing for everyone to say what they need and what they don't like. In our culture it seems a bit like you need to have something with a name before you're allowed to express your needs, it would be nice if it'd be cool for everyone to do so. And I think and hope the more people say what they need and what is hard for them, the more normal it will become for everyone!
@@tntl7 Thank you so much!!!! That was really helpful! I’m definitely going to do that. Simply and directly state what I need. I appreciate you taking the time to share your valuable perspective. ❤️
@@Sunshine-hv1eu thank you so much for your kind response, I'm very glad it meant something to you! All the best! ❤️
I find my way with travelling . I have invested in good noise cancelling headphones always ware comfy clothing and try to drink lot of calming teas.Sometimes waring sunglasses 🕶 helps too.
Love all of these suggestions!!!
One of my pluses of being highly sensitive is that I can notice subtle nuisances - in particular I can mix an exact paint colour easily in my watercolour art and I can also cut minute pieces of exact size glass in my mosaic work. There are lots of pluses. I still need the help of lovely souls like you as I often find life overwhelming. 🙏❤️
Is it strange that i like the winter months because it gets darker sooner, colder and therefore, quieter? People go inside and it's less stimulus. Less noise from cars, kids, construction, etc.
Greetings Vera, am newly subscribed. Found your channel while researching minimalism and getting practical ideas to apply. Also I just started BUJO and found your videos on journaling quite helpful, I too journal minimalist and have the basic style already but got good advice from you for weekly layout and PROJECT planning. Highly sensitive myself, and only recently expressing and embracing this as my normalcy… better not trying to be who I am not or trying to change to fit with extroverts, INFJ going my own way and so much happier: minimalism, BUJO, grounding in calm help sensitivity a lot.
Awesome!! Thanks for sharing Greg and welcome to the channel!
Being an HSP often means that you are autistic 😁 I greatly recommend looking into this if you are highly-sensitive. Learning that I am autistic has positively impacted my life and has answered so many questions!
I remember getting tested for autism. They didn’t find a hint of it. So yeah, there’s a difference. That may be the case on occasion, but not all the time. HSPs and people with autism often have different brain structures. People with autism have trouble processing everything and that’s the reason they get overwhelmed. Meanwhile, HSPs take in their surroundings and can process it, just on a deeper level, and that is what overwhelms us. Hope that helps. If anyone would like to add on, feel free.