As Richard Grannon says, it’s like they hire you to do a job for them or play a role. So whenever you even so slightly stray from the plantation, they lose their cool, crack the whip and demand you get back to doing the job they “hired” you to do. You of course, thought you were in a relationship, but no, you were hired to play a part for them to serve their needs.
Because sharing the planet with others who are of no threat, qualifies as "Punishment" for them. Therefore they must project it back onto you! Like their lives depend on a deadly smear campaign to "save their lives" when there's no threat, because they always need an adversary. They're also cowards who target from a safe distance their too scared to face their Sworn Enemies head on....like when Commodus covers up Maximus' wound before they fight in Gladiator. If they have to face you, they have to weaken their opponent first & gaslight the disadvantage, they cheat through many means including covert sabotage.
Jacklyn, mine did. Or for "reasons" inside his head. I went No Contact as soon as I could. He didn't get why. Too bad. In early 2024, I learned that he died in 2010. Presumably reaping what he sowed, at least from me. No regrets.
My first experience with narcissism was wondering why it was MY responsibility for someone else's happiness. I didn't realize what it was, but now that I know, I'm even more adamant that no one is responsible for another's emotional state.
It's mindboggling how many people have been caught in the wickedness of narcissists. More and more people are coming forth to talk about it right now. They'll get real creative over finances and come up with clever ideas to keep you in a revolving door of debt.
I have been free for almost 3 weeks. After 41 years of marriage I finally had the courage to leave. I haven't been this happy in years. I have healing to do but no regrets at all
What about when they literally follow you around the house and scream through locked doors and call your phone nonstop and then threaten you when you just try to get some space 😫
Erin. Leave. Shake the dust off your feet and wash the car off on your way out of town. And don't look back. YES some things will be harder. A few things much harder. EVERYTHING else will be better and easier. And the sun WILL shine. No contact works marvelously well.
My daughter left her husband and decided it would be better to spend the rest of her life in an RV with the kids than to be with him and me I went back to mine😢
Narcissists insist on being superior to others while simultaneously demanding allegiance and respect, which causes a feeling of malaise and contempt surrounding them that narcissists also insist on being ignored.
@@JK-qr8et It does when the majority of the society is too cowardly to stand up and fight back. (Long-running US sociocultural politics up until very recently.)
@mrsqueakthecat.8061 historical precedent dictates the strong and moral have always held these folks at bay. Strength is in yourself. I'm fighting against my narc. Strength is solo. But as society recognizes, they have eyes. So be strong.
Amen 🙏🧡💯✌️ to that. After many years I've observed that equal footing feels "unfair" to the narcissist. They're obsessed with domination games even if it hurts them & everyone they " love".
I have been tortured in this manner for the past 3 weeks! Married to a malignant narcissist for 34 years. You and Dr Romnie, have completely opened my eyes. I can’t be submissive, I feel the need to defend myself. It is only getting me permanently injured by this asshol*!
I saw a narcissist being portrayed on a TV show. The narcisstic character finally got so frustrated that things were not going her way that she turned to the healthy character and said "When are you going to learn your lines?" I was floored. That is exactly the dynamic I had with my mom. I was forever going off her script & didn't even know it. All I knew was the lifelong, seething disdain. I never could figure out why she had so much contempt for me. I tried so hard to love her. I even had recurring nightmares asking her "Why do you hate me?" But now I get it. Separateness is threat because they can't control it. I hadn't learned my lines from an invisible script in a play I had been cast from birth.
This video perfectly reflects the hysteria my mom demonstrated toward me when I started questioning the religious cult I was raised in and my maternal side of the family have been members of for 9 generations. When I finally resigned in 2008, her pathology was beyond what I had ever seen before in my previous 40 years. The constant rages, calls to whoever would listen how I was abusive toward her (for embarrassing her for leaving the church!), and attempts at turning my young children against me. I had to go no contact with her, and it has taken years to heal from her and other faithful family members who view my disaffection from the church as having been influenced by Satan. You just have to walk away from people like that, even if they are family.
100% I got a mind of my own and realized I knew what I was talking about and he couldn't handle it. I finally got a really good lawyer and Thursday is the start of the Divorce in court. Praying spouse support starts ASAP. He was the bread winner and I can't make enough to pay bills and feed my son
@@Summer_Harvest Not convinced either. After I listened to some interviews to dr Peter Salerno, my opinion is , *maybe* , ( very important, I point out : *maybe* ) , there are _minimum_ 2 types of narcs. *Maybe* , some narcs come from early childhood serious traumas (these ones are shame-based), BUT there may be some other narcs coming "directly" from neurobiology / brain issues. The latter seemingly don't have any "shame problem" at all. This position resonates a lot with my personal experience... Meaning, I think I had (and I have) to deal with both types ... And, yes, actually dr Salerno description about "wrong wired brain issues" (so to speak) fits very well for the covert malignant one I know (the person with sociop and psychop traits).
@lishmahlishmah Have you read 'In Sheep'sClothing' or 'Character Disturbance' by Dr George K Simon? He writes about traditional views and more modern understandings. I really appreciate his understanding.
I wish you would talk more about the religious narcissist. The ones who are leaders, pastors, worship leaders, etc. The ones who are beautiful, talented, successful, etc. They use triangulation with their volunteers and employees if anyone confronts them with glaring hypocrisy. They think their public image and connection with God is proof that they're so right, so smart, so anointed, etc. And the flying monkeys do all their bidding.
A good example of a religious narcissist would be infamous pastor Steven Anderson and the drama going on with him the past couple of months. His oldest children are exposing him and the wife for all the horrible problems they caused. He's being exposed by close friends too and his sermons lately show how much he's falling apart, desperate to cling to power. Steven Andersons odd beliefs, behaviors and rules he puts on his family and congregation for years show he's a narcissist.
In my long experience, many people in churches are absolutely wonderful people who are loving and do good in the world. Then there are the foxes in the henhouse, malignant, predatory and horrible people that you describe. The more exclusive and cultish the religion, the more of the latter there are. I'm pretty much done with churches. My spiritual journey is my private business.
@@candie5150 Then watch Dr Carter's video's from the past: 》How Religious Narcissists will Gaslight you 》Religious Narcissists 》Cult-like Narcissistic Systems ...and by the way, triangulation is a technique all Narcs like to use for it is > the opening for competition > a form of blameshifting > a form of gaslighting
Just had a thought, Dr C. If narcissists don't cope with ambiguity, they will be poor companions to people who are curious and naturally seek ambiguity for the growth it brings them. I will be looking for curiousity as a marker for safe, peaceful people. Thank you. Love and blessings to you and the family, Gus and Mikhaela.
From 8:56 "Variety is built into all of nature... nothing is 100% the same!" ...all these years of fully agreeing with a narcissists perspective, only to feel guilty or crazy when trying to slightly modify that perspective -yet never realising that behind this irrationality was *"the inability to manage ambiguity!"* ...which leads them to go deeper and deeper into their rabbit hole of crazy, illogical, nonsensical, unintelligible thinking... Thank you Dr Carter for providing these tools of light! All the very best to you.
Hi , there was something troubling me and I watched and read so much about narcissism but wasn’t able to find an answer - this video has finally answered what I could not get to the bottom of that just would not let me have peace - now I finally got to the bottom of the problem. Thank you so much for your incomparable help.
You described the way human beings progress and evolve to try and be better, do better. They are 'social creatures' and use teamwork if necessary and problem-solving by analytically looking at things from different angles etc. Which a narc doesn't/can't do. I wonder if a valid question could be asked: Does a narc actually ever solve anything? I would say not really, no.
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. Your podcasts are helping me so much, including explaining different types of narcissists. I'm still processing ending a friendship because my friend had such a narcissistic husband. His form of abuse was criticism beginning first with his wife while repeating the criticism over and over. Then he criticized me and took jabs at me to sound like he was superior. The worst situation was when he became verbally aggressive while I asked him to stop several times. This was during a phone conversation I was having with my friend. I apologized to her while I kept asking for her husband to stop his aggression. Finally, I had to end the phone connection. I feel sad losing my friend. I just couldn't stay in the friendship any longer because my mental health came first.
I've been on this journey for awhile but these videos continue to provide me with useful insights. People who are only comfortable with nothing less than certainty , behave like adolescents, when "another way" is even suggested to them. If you've ever tried to get through to a teenager who is fixated on something happening precisely the way they imagined it, you'll know what I mean...
my covert would shut down anytime i wanted to discuss anything with depth. He felt threatened when I asked him what his dreams of retirement are, even after giving him a couple of weeks to think about it. his response was “why do you always want to butt into my personal buisness”….. that is when i realized the “richness” of his secret interior world………….
As my deceased narcissist grew older and youth left his body, he became worse. Saying he was not the man he use to be, by that he ment sexually. It was almost apologetic but not really! Even the narcissist can't stop life or reality. Bodly functions decrease, and they grow more controlling of you rather than deal with it. Sad! Thanks Dr. C. Hugs for Gus!!
This is a great lesson for all. The more you serve fear, the more likely you are to do it again. Fears get projected into the unknown so fast. This includes the mistake of judgement (such a mistake all religions consider it a sin), against others & even worse ourselves. Know your/you're love
Spot on. Again. So much of what you have to say resonates and really hits home with victims of narcissistic abuse. I made a playlist of some of your videos and frequently add to it. Thank you for enlightening us once again.
That info helped me understand. Not an hour ago I was told not to get so worked up about something. It was a national security issue. He brought it up but wants to lecture. It was actually mirroring, as these matters are important to me, along with many and varied others. He just dropped a 1 sentence fact. No discourse ever required. I ask why shouldn't I get worked up and was told it didn't do any good. Well, I told him I feel better, and I think I'll continue thinking about these things to know what can be done. That was irrelevant to give details. The big thing is the fact or opinions drop yet not give a hoot what my opinion is. No discourse wanted. Period. I was tired and didn't have my shields up. It's OK as it was another lesson w/o violence. ( Yelling also screaming are violence. Also nastily said excoriations.
If there wouldn't be shame in this world... ...there wouldn't be a need to hide. ...there wouldn't be a need to fake. ...there wouldn't be a need to bully. The more you accept and know who you are from the inside out, the less you will be shamed - and if you still will, it won't harm you anymore as it did before. Shame as a core wound is a deep feeling of not BEING good enough. No matter what you DO, you will never feel like you are enough, and this creates an inner, infinite black hole where everything feels disconnected and nothing can be held.
This is a good video and explains the problem well. I am in this situation and now understand that none of this is my fault. I am not perfect by any means, but I do have the right to be me. I started not being me and ended up lost. once we know for sure it is not us causing the problem we can be free in our own minds. so you can live with a narcissist but when the rage starts, you can give them what they need sometimes in a controlled way knowing it is not our fault. it is not their fault either, it is simply the way they are. They do not know how to change. it takes strength to keep our mind straight and be ourselves. These are my personal opinions.
Practice separating the "wheat" from the "chaff" - THEY can have us so twisted, it can be hard to tell real from narc-real.Healthy is a path back to reality. Stay Healthy!!
It's also interesting how many people who may not have NPD also flip out when you very respectfully disagree. So when it is a Narcissistic disordered person, they really are extremely hostile when you disagree. And staying silent to them equates to agreeing or being their mental slave, I suppose. Mentally uhealthy people rrally can't accept that we have differences in options and views without taking that as a personal attack in who they are as a person. But the same people will peronally attack you and become hostile just the same. It's ridiculous. 😒
They admit no wrong doing and if they really screw up and get terminated because of it there are excuses. They laugh it off like no big deal. Move along, nothing to see here.
Thank you for this short definition. That's it. The relation with reality. Actually a non-relation. You wrote (about 4 hours time before) what I wrote later in _long word salad style_ 😂
100% true. The family member I know tells me how I should wear my hair and what color she thinks it should be. She wants to pick out my clothes and shoes lol I'm over 60 mind you lol. In another words she wants me to look exactly like her. It is so ridiculous. I wore my hair down the other day and she has since told me that she likes it up better and that she doesn't like it when I wear it down. She always wears her hair up. She has a neighbor friend that wears her hair down all the time and my family member tells me she doesn't like when she wears her hair down either. She has mentioned this several times now. The way I see it is I must look pretty good with my hair down for her to feel so threatened by it lol. Next time I see her I'm going to wear it down and watch her short circuit lol.
So true! Both my narc and I were born Presbyterian. We met at a church camp age 14 and15 and while there he decided to go into the ministry and a point in our study group caught my attention. I searched for 7 years before deciding to become an Anglican and waited nearly 2 years to be confirmed. We met again half a century later, he decided we would marry, and he constantly made snide remarks to me and others about Anglicans. It was not worth explaining or arguing with him but he could not allow me to be myself. Our divorce is extremely nasty.
the covert does’n’t say how inadequate you are, they act it out through ignoring you and refusing to engage in any meaningful discussion. I wish you would cover this type of narcissism in your talks.
This fits to a T my experience with a friend who I knew for decades. Only in the last few years did the casual friendship break down, and when it did, it was exactly as this video describes. He couldn't think except in black and white, and he decided I was the guy in the black hat because I rejected his ideology. He ridiculed me because I take an antidepressant, saying, "Go take your medicine!" He DEMANDED I answer his question the way he wanted me to, even saying that he was copying and pasting our messaging to a permanent file. What a joker. I wish I had done as a mutual friend did decades earlier, and realized the guy was a devious covert narcissist. At least I'm not like those who mourned his death still thinking he was the smartest, nicest, most confident man they had ever met.
It can be down to the smallest decision you make (like trying a new cough medicine). If it affected them in a negative way - you can’t try it, buy it, think it, or even mutter the thought of it. (I am exaggerating or am I?). My point is, no one is an individual in the narcs eyes. Their experience will be your own experience.
My narc spouse went into a silent rage over an opinion I expressed-niether about, nor directed toward him-that was contrary to his beliefs. I don’t even recall what the comment was, though it may have been quasi-political. I was completely baffled by his reaction. In counseling, he expressed that he couldn’t stand that I made what sounded like a definitive statement that sounded to him like, “this is the way it is”…which is not at all what I stated or intended. The counselor had to talk him off the ledge. Whatever other factors there might be, marriage and children, with their inherent ambiguities, only add fuel to the narc’s pathologic fire.
For this topic I have serious difficulty in translating my thought in English... Anyhow, it's something like: Narcissists have *no sufficient level of contact with reality* . They have no grip on reality. [ transl doubt: grip? is it a correct term in this case? 🤔 ok , it's something like that ] And, for the majority of narcs, the more they go on, the more they lose that contact. To the point they have *no more contact* . The underlying reasons are: - their necessity to maintain a fake facade (through very-very different facts of life. This way they become more and more confused) - their lack of empathy, meaning, eventually they can't truly understand other people ( > consequently they can't grow in any direction but pathology) - their lack of "attachment" with literally everybody > so, they actually don't have any relationships. They don't have this pivotal human skill ( "attachment" is a professional psychological term... I've just followed some free conferences... Anyway I'm sure people here in Team Healthy do know what it is. For people wondering what it is, just google "attachment in psychology" )
Hi Dr Carter, Is scale the only difference between a totalitarian regime and a narcissistic relationship? What you’re describing here resembles the philosophical groundwork of totalitarianism.
Dear Amanda, thank you so much for your lovely answer, which really touched my heart so that some tears were rolling onto my face 🥰. What wonderful news you have! It's so great to hear that there have come big changes into your life. First of all that your youngest moved out all by himself!!! Although it does not went without drama (I can imagine it very clearly for I know these drama's much too well 🙄.) I hope your tum is able to relax now a bit more. I am sure the space will do you good, both of you. It's time for him to live his own, seperated life to make his own experiences. Glad to hear that your eldest enjoyed Berlin and what an honour for you that he wanted Your opinion buying his first car! 😊 My daughter just stayed one night at home and I am mixed up with all sorts of different feelings and thoughts that scare me. She is now on the way back to Munich to finish the movie. She's quite sad that it ends soon because she had such a fantastic time. At the end of next week she will go to Vienna to visit her friend and will come back in the beginning of January. Another collegue of mine that I know from the very beginning from another team phoned me at work two days ago. She was a bit horrified about the "confused" and changing worksituation. We will meet next week to talk about it. I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you will find an apartment next year so that you will finally can create your own space and peace that you deserve so much. Sending you all the best wishes of healing and recovery. And thanks again for your candle, that I still need. 🙏💗🫂
The other people he triangulates is our kids. It’s his way or the highway, and in 40 years we never argued. If I try to be normal (have friends) then I’m crazy. (Creative) His intellect is so superior that I should be willing to live his way. .(.night shift) I stayed for 10 years too long; hoping to stay in the family. Eventually I had to chose between sanity or family. People try to comfort me by telling me the kids will come around eventually, but that’s hollow because I am missing out on the grandchildren. That’s my punishment. I know they have been told that I’m mean and crazy. (I’ve heard them). It’s a unique experience being shut out of the family I created. At least I had 10 years of anxiety and depression to get used to the idea, basically I’ve been fired; just as I knew I would be.
I told the narcissist that I cannot say anything to him without him taking it as a personal attack. His response was "well most of the time it is." Yes, I would rather bang my head on concrete than talk to him.
It scares me to see the low level my spouse will stoop. Thankfully he’s a very good person! One with little to no personal coping skills though. I taught him how he must use his voice, how his feelings matter completely. This started to turn into ever woooh n whooo. As life is overall unbalanced. Next unfortunate told him he must go back to pretending, as in staying quite over little issues. Although they very well add up to unfair. Only circumstantially, not intentionally manipulative ones. Like he allowed in his mindset, where he was tricked and handed his life to a N. For a handful of years. Tell he bankrupt his life to escape her. That time really poisoned his beyond fragile sense of self and reality. 😮 you never live it down. You only live through it and move forward.
That so perfectly describes a narcissist’s way of seeing things. For most people, if we have differences we can agree to disagree and move forward in life. Not everything is worth fighting an ideological war over. People have different perspectives and opinions and that’s fine, that’s how it’s supposed to be. But throw a narcissist in the mix…that’s what we’re going through right now with someone very close to us. They are so deep in their narcissism that they came up with this idea that “agree to disagree” is actually “demonic” and “sinful” and that we should instead “agree to agree”, which to this person means agreeing with them exclusively. All of this based on, like, one incomplete sentence somewhere in the Bible. So then of course if you don’t agree with them, you’re “in sin” or “have allowed Satan to influence you” which makes all of your arguments invalid to them. It is EXHAUSTING. When we finally stood up to the narcissist and held the line of no, we are NOT going to agree on this, they basically imploded. Now they want to “heal the relationship” and have things go back to the way they used to be. Which was when everyone was under the narcissist’s control. Sorry but we’re not going back to that. If the only way that person will be happy with us is if we are under their control, then they’re just going to have to get used to being unhappy. 🤷♀️
My brother said “the only way to deal with horrible people is to not be horrible yourself.” He voted for Trump and can’t handle what’s happening with the cabinet picks, so he decided it’s not his fault in any way. Now suddenly he thinks we’re going to approve of what he’s done. I really hate their gaslighting. What he did is not ok and no amount of his BS talk will stop the nightmare now.
The role of acquiescence: There's much consideration of the roles of genetics and free choice in the shaping of personality and relationships. But (1) choice is not always free but can be forced upon us and (2) acquiescence (the submissive acceptance of another's decision) are also in play. Life is not as simple as we would like. What can we say about acquiescence? Are we wrong in accepting the rejection of another? According to the rule of free choice, we are not. What's the proper response to rejection?
@@Rachel-mz8ko I understand what you are saying now. Sorry, I didn't at first. It's the gradient between being forced and total rejection (where they will let you go). Sure you can choose to withdraw at that point but is your hope for change in that person? They really play a wicked game by deception. What good does it do for a mouse to stay in a wood pile if the cat sits atop. The only chance for the mouse is to get out to real safety.
Ive been. Dealing with groups of n for years. Not one ever cared about my seeing my son. Now theyre claiming all people his age are separating from parents to deny their interference in my life was the cause.
The nex was just eighteen years old and I thought of him as a robot. And I couldn't fit into that robotic world and do things exactly the way they should be done according to the his family had always done things. I was sooooo inferior for my way of thinking.
Seems like these narcissists grew up in a household with very controlling or caregivers who did not embrace individuality or thought and they take on these behaviors. They are shamed. If they try to have an opinion that differs from an authoritative figure and so as an adult they become the same way.
My narcissist goes into a rage anytime I ask a question, even when the question is to gain information necessary to successfully do what she wants. She really hates it when she gets on one of her abusive verbal attacks when she points out a cornflake on the floor I point out the time she left my SUV upside down in a ditch, or the one she got impounded, or the multiple times she's hit something with my two current vehicles and has never made an effort to take the responsibility for fixing them.
As Richard Grannon says, it’s like they hire you to do a job for them or play a role. So whenever you even so slightly stray from the plantation, they lose their cool, crack the whip and demand you get back to doing the job they “hired” you to do. You of course, thought you were in a relationship, but no, you were hired to play a part for them to serve their needs.
Spot on.
And you absolutely don't get paid fairly
You get paid in tears, heartbreak and disillusionment .... then one day, you move on and heal @yazajag
1000000000000000%
Exactly.
My crime is to exist, different from them. Therefore to be punished.
Because sharing the planet with others who are of no threat, qualifies as
"Punishment" for them. Therefore they must project it back onto you!
Like their lives depend on a deadly smear campaign to "save their lives" when there's no threat, because they always need an adversary. They're also cowards who target from a safe distance their too scared to face their Sworn Enemies head on....like when Commodus covers up Maximus' wound before they fight in Gladiator. If they have to face you, they have to weaken their opponent first & gaslight the disadvantage, they cheat through many means including covert sabotage.
Worth it
My dad punishes me for no reason!
Jacklyn, mine did. Or for "reasons" inside his head. I went No Contact as soon as I could. He didn't get why. Too bad. In early 2024, I learned that he died in 2010. Presumably reaping what he sowed, at least from me. No regrets.
I feel you…
But im not ne mcessarily sureounded by a bunch of Narcissists…. Unfortunately i think they are relatively decent but they are SUPER STUPID
My first experience with narcissism was wondering why it was MY responsibility for someone else's happiness.
I didn't realize what it was, but now that I know, I'm even more adamant that no one is responsible for another's emotional state.
Narcissists insist in finding external solutions to their internal problems.
Yes exactly
@@fred.k9875 💯
🎯fred
They excel at this. Often to the detriment of those involved
SPOT ON
It's mindboggling how many people have been caught in the wickedness of narcissists. More and more people are coming forth to talk about it right now. They'll get real creative over finances and come up with clever ideas to keep you in a revolving door of debt.
I have been free for almost 3 weeks. After 41 years of marriage I finally had the courage to leave. I haven't been this happy in years. I have healing to do but no regrets at all
I am free after 44 years.
@CandyOverholt good for you!!!@
Good luck y’all ! Speedy recovery! Better late than never
They can't seem to grasp the idea of differences in opinion. Why do they see it as a personal attack?
Because their mother did.
I think it’s because differences makes them feel inferior and unimportant.
Hierarchical thinking - they think you are trying to one-up them. Next move - they think you should be 'put in your place'.
He takes most everything I say as an attack...
I won't waste anymore of my time on him...
Because they ARE their opinion. That is all they have.
Don’t give them 👺 your energy. Don’t be a narc charger 🔌 Give them No Voice, No Time, No Eye Contact. 🤔
What about when they literally follow you around the house and scream through locked doors and call your phone nonstop and then threaten you when you just try to get some space 😫
@ Best let Dr C advise you.
Erin. Leave. Shake the dust off your feet and wash the car off on your way out of town. And don't look back.
YES some things will be harder. A few things much harder. EVERYTHING else will be better and easier. And the sun WILL shine. No contact works marvelously well.
100 percent agree with you.....
Don't feed the alligators...
There's Gus, I'm so happy to see him.
The wingman..xx
Same... he is such a dear wee soul. !
Me too! Always happy to see Gus!❤️🐶🐶🐶❤️
It's their way or the highway. I chose to save myself and children by choosing the highway. One less child to manage.
My daughter left her husband and decided it would be better to spend the rest of her life in an RV with the kids than to be with him and me I went back to mine😢
Me too👍
Bingo I'm trying to escape.
@@tonifonseca9178
I was baited twice won't be a third time need to do something very soon.
@Ratgirl2 I know i didn't even go back to my ex husband 😒 and this one, my adult kids hate! And my mom too
Narcissists insist on being superior to others while simultaneously demanding allegiance and respect, which causes a feeling of malaise and contempt surrounding them that narcissists also insist on being ignored.
This shit don't fly in civil society
@@JK-qr8et It does when the majority of the society is too cowardly to stand up and fight back. (Long-running US sociocultural politics up until very recently.)
@mrsqueakthecat.8061 historical precedent dictates the strong and moral have always held these folks at bay. Strength is in yourself. I'm fighting against my narc. Strength is solo. But as society recognizes, they have eyes. So be strong.
@mrsqueakthecat.8061 in response to the US socio issue. We are changing, strongly and rapidly.
Amen 🙏🧡💯✌️ to that. After many years I've observed that equal footing feels "unfair" to the narcissist.
They're obsessed with domination games even if it hurts them & everyone they " love".
I have been tortured in this manner for the past 3 weeks! Married to a malignant narcissist for 34 years. You and Dr Romnie, have completely opened my eyes. I can’t be submissive, I feel the need to defend myself. It is only getting me permanently injured by this asshol*!
I saw a narcissist being portrayed on a TV show. The narcisstic character finally got so frustrated that things were not going her way that she turned to the healthy character and said "When are you going to learn your lines?" I was floored. That is exactly the dynamic I had with my mom. I was forever going off her script & didn't even know it. All I knew was the lifelong, seething disdain. I never could figure out why she had so much contempt for me. I tried so hard to love her. I even had recurring nightmares asking her "Why do you hate me?" But now I get it. Separateness is threat because they can't control it. I hadn't learned my lines from an invisible script in a play I had been cast from birth.
Mine expected me to read her mind and anticipate her wishes.
This video perfectly reflects the hysteria my mom demonstrated toward me when I started questioning the religious cult I was raised in and my maternal side of the family have been members of for 9 generations. When I finally resigned in 2008, her pathology was beyond what I had ever seen before in my previous 40 years. The constant rages, calls to whoever would listen how I was abusive toward her (for embarrassing her for leaving the church!), and attempts at turning my young children against me. I had to go no contact with her, and it has taken years to heal from her and other faithful family members who view my disaffection from the church as having been influenced by Satan. You just have to walk away from people like that, even if they are family.
We're you raised Catholic, because that was my experience. Such an evil manipulative Church especially if you're female!
His fav line is , " i have decided....."
Everything he wants to decide and if you disagree , then comes the passive aggressiveness.
Gus on the thumbnail image 🤓🌟🐕
Yessss! 💚🧡💚🧡
He loves his dad 😍
100% I got a mind of my own and realized I knew what I was talking about and he couldn't handle it. I finally got a really good lawyer and Thursday is the start of the Divorce in court. Praying spouse support starts ASAP. He was the bread winner and I can't make enough to pay bills and feed my son
Deception, I'm not convinced they feel shame. They have a sense of entitlement and superiority that overrides shame.
That’s secondary to the need to escape shame
@@caroleminke6116Victims get caught up in shame that keeps them ln of victmization, while more disturbed personalities are maybe not caught up in it.
@@Summer_Harvest
Not convinced either.
After I listened to some interviews to dr Peter Salerno, my opinion is , *maybe* , ( very important, I point out : *maybe* ) ,
there are _minimum_ 2 types of narcs.
*Maybe* , some narcs come from early childhood serious traumas (these ones are shame-based),
BUT there may be some other narcs coming "directly" from neurobiology / brain issues.
The latter seemingly don't have any "shame problem" at all.
This position resonates a lot with my personal experience... Meaning, I think I had (and I have) to deal with both types ... And, yes, actually dr Salerno description about "wrong wired brain issues" (so to speak) fits very well for the covert malignant one I know (the person with sociop and psychop traits).
@lishmahlishmah Yes, I agree. Also, they may be a later result of TBI or maybe dementia (problems of processing perhaps).
@lishmahlishmah Have you read 'In Sheep'sClothing' or 'Character Disturbance' by Dr George K Simon? He writes about traditional views and more modern understandings. I really appreciate his understanding.
I wish you would talk more about the religious narcissist. The ones who are leaders, pastors, worship leaders, etc. The ones who are beautiful, talented, successful, etc. They use triangulation with their volunteers and employees if anyone confronts them with glaring hypocrisy. They think their public image and connection with God is proof that they're so right, so smart, so anointed, etc. And the flying monkeys do all their bidding.
A good example of a religious narcissist would be infamous pastor Steven Anderson and the drama going on with him the past couple of months. His oldest children are exposing him and the wife for all the horrible problems they caused. He's being exposed by close friends too and his sermons lately show how much he's falling apart, desperate to cling to power. Steven Andersons odd beliefs, behaviors and rules he puts on his family and congregation for years show he's a narcissist.
When a narcissistic know scripture memorized they always have one to acknowledge up their direction of thinking
Might makes right. They truly believe
In my long experience, many people in churches are absolutely wonderful people who are loving and do good in the world. Then there are the foxes in the henhouse, malignant, predatory and horrible people that you describe. The more exclusive and cultish the religion, the more of the latter there are. I'm pretty much done with churches. My spiritual journey is my private business.
@@candie5150 Then watch Dr Carter's video's from the past:
》How Religious Narcissists will Gaslight you
》Religious Narcissists
》Cult-like Narcissistic Systems
...and by the way, triangulation is a technique all Narcs like to use for it is
> the opening for competition
> a form of blameshifting
> a form of gaslighting
Just had a thought, Dr C. If narcissists don't cope with ambiguity, they will be poor companions to people who are curious and naturally seek ambiguity for the growth it brings them. I will be looking for curiousity as a marker for safe, peaceful people. Thank you. Love and blessings to you and the family, Gus and Mikhaela.
You make a lot of sense!
@@SurvivingNarcissism thank you
From 8:56 "Variety is built into all of nature... nothing is 100% the same!" ...all these years of fully agreeing with a narcissists perspective, only to feel guilty or crazy when trying to slightly modify that perspective -yet never realising that behind this irrationality was *"the inability to manage ambiguity!"* ...which leads them to go deeper and deeper into their rabbit hole of crazy, illogical, nonsensical, unintelligible thinking... Thank you Dr Carter for providing these tools of light! All the very best to you.
Hi , there was something troubling me and I watched and read so much about narcissism but wasn’t able to find an answer - this video has finally answered what I could not get to the bottom of that just would not let me have peace - now I finally got to the bottom of the problem. Thank you so much for your incomparable help.
The shared fantasy is where your involved. They discard once bored. If you can understand this, you have power as you can maneuver.
You described the way human beings progress and evolve to try and be better, do better. They are 'social creatures' and use teamwork if necessary and problem-solving by analytically looking at things from different angles etc. Which a narc doesn't/can't do. I wonder if a valid question could be asked: Does a narc actually ever solve anything? I would say not really, no.
Thank you so much. You've been so incredibly supportive to this journey. I'm so glad to have direction like this in my life
You are so welcome!
Love Gus' photo on this video's title card! A hearfelt thank you to Gus for being Team Healthy's Emotional Support Pup! He always lifts my spirits ❤️
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. Your podcasts are helping me so much, including explaining different types of narcissists. I'm still processing ending a friendship because my friend had such a narcissistic husband. His form of abuse was criticism beginning first with his wife while repeating the criticism over and over. Then he criticized me and took jabs at me to sound like he was superior. The worst situation was when he became verbally aggressive while I asked him to stop several times. This was during a phone conversation I was having with my friend. I apologized to her while I kept asking for her husband to stop his aggression. Finally, I had to end the phone connection. I feel sad losing my friend. I just couldn't stay in the friendship any longer because my mental health came first.
Jackie, I know you're working hard, so please know when I wish you the best...I certainly do! Keep leaning forward.
@@SurvivingNarcissismThank-you so much, Dr. Carter.
I've been on this journey for awhile but these videos continue to provide me with useful insights.
People who are only comfortable with nothing less than certainty , behave like adolescents, when "another way" is even suggested to them.
If you've ever tried to get through to a teenager who is fixated on something happening precisely the way they imagined it, you'll know what I mean...
my covert would shut down anytime i wanted to discuss anything with depth. He felt threatened when I asked him what his dreams of retirement are, even after giving him a couple of weeks to think about it. his response was “why do you always want to butt into my personal buisness”….. that is when i realized the “richness” of his secret interior world………….
Ever have them look you in the eye after sitting down to talk and have them say, "Are you done yet?"
A dismissive-avoidant would do this... are you certain that you're dealing with a covert narcissist?
@innovativesecure Oh, yes, many times. We also run a business together. It can be quite a nightmare!!! 😱😭🙀
As my deceased narcissist grew older and youth left his body, he became worse. Saying he was not the man he use to be, by that he ment sexually. It was almost apologetic but not really! Even the narcissist can't stop life or reality. Bodly functions decrease, and they grow more controlling of you rather than deal with it. Sad!
Thanks Dr. C. Hugs for Gus!!
Thanks, Elaine!
It's a narritive streaming loudly in their head that makes them unable to process others.
This is a great lesson for all. The more you serve fear, the more likely you are to do it again. Fears get projected into the unknown so fast. This includes the mistake of judgement (such a mistake all religions consider it a sin), against others & even worse ourselves.
Know your/you're love
Spot on. Again. So much of what you have to say resonates and really hits home with victims of narcissistic abuse. I made a playlist of some of your videos and frequently add to it. Thank you for enlightening us once again.
So pleased!
That info helped me understand. Not an hour ago I was told not to get so worked up about something. It was a national security issue. He brought it up but wants to lecture. It was actually mirroring, as these matters are important to me, along with many and varied others. He just dropped a 1 sentence fact. No discourse ever required. I ask why shouldn't I get worked up and was told it didn't do any good. Well, I told him I feel better, and I think I'll continue thinking about these things to know what can be done. That was irrelevant to give details. The big thing is the fact or opinions drop yet not give a hoot what my opinion is. No discourse wanted. Period. I was tired and didn't have my shields up. It's OK as it was another lesson w/o violence. ( Yelling also screaming are violence. Also nastily said excoriations.
If there wouldn't be shame in this world...
...there wouldn't be a need to hide.
...there wouldn't be a need to fake.
...there wouldn't be a need to bully.
The more you accept and know who you are from the inside out, the less you will be shamed - and if you still will, it won't harm you anymore as it did before.
Shame as a core wound is a deep feeling of not BEING good enough. No matter what you DO, you will never feel like you are enough, and this creates an inner, infinite black hole where everything feels disconnected and nothing can be held.
Shame is also a healthy reaction in a child. It is all about the situation and the response, and in some instances whether it's felt.
It’s worse than that. My son and DIL are classic examples of illiterate delusional Pychchosis.
Thanks Roxy 🌸🕯🙏❤️
I'm pretty sure they need to be ashamed of their behavior, like rape, sodomy, pathological lying, murder. Incest, violence, etc
@susanawright7757 😒 You'd a thunk!
They don’t know the definition of compromise
This is a good video and explains the problem well. I am in this situation and now understand that none of this is my fault. I am not perfect by any means, but I do have the right to be me. I started not being me and ended up lost. once we know for sure it is not us causing the problem we can be free in our own minds. so you can live with a narcissist but when the rage starts, you can give them what they need sometimes in a controlled way knowing it is not our fault. it is not their fault either, it is simply the way they are. They do not know how to change. it takes strength to keep our mind straight and be ourselves. These are my personal opinions.
We try to be very human, meaning having the same feelings and emotions as other people. They turn being very human into humiliation for others.
@@rossanderson5243 Very well said, Ross 🙏💛
@@rossanderson5243 Very well said, Ross 🙏💛
Thank you for all the resources Dr. C.
Oof! Totally on the mark . Denying that ambiguity or nuance in perspective exists is bedrock to the narcissistic personality.
☮️❤️🩹☮️
Agree
Dr Carter,
Again and again, you are absolutely right .
Thanks always..
You are very welcome
Blessings Dr. C
Practice separating the "wheat" from the "chaff" - THEY can have us so twisted, it can be hard to tell real from narc-real.Healthy is a path back to reality. Stay Healthy!!
Shame avoidance drives narcissism
Yes, yes
True.
@@caroleminke6116 So true! 🎯
But there is nothing to be ashamed about….
People just talk (too much) shit, and especially when they have NO CLUE!!
It's also interesting how many people who may not have NPD also flip out when you very respectfully disagree. So when it is a Narcissistic disordered person, they really are extremely hostile when you disagree. And staying silent to them equates to agreeing or being their mental slave, I suppose. Mentally uhealthy people rrally can't accept that we have differences in options and views without taking that as a personal attack in who they are as a person. But the same people will peronally attack you and become hostile just the same. It's ridiculous. 😒
I assume it's denial. The more they deny the reality, the more they become dysfunctional. 😮
They admit no wrong doing and if they really screw up and get terminated because of it there are excuses. They laugh it off like no big deal. Move along, nothing to see here.
Denial of shame & blame
@@Summer_Harvest Oh that laughing off wrongdoing by the narc in my life was maddening.
Thank you for this short definition.
That's it. The relation with reality. Actually a non-relation.
You wrote (about 4 hours time before)
what I wrote later in _long word salad style_
😂
@@lishmahlishmah Long sentences with contemplation are not word salad. Long sentences on a whim are word salad. 😉
I am glad that I don't think like them but these videos are helpful so that I can learn how to protect myself..
Glad you like them!
@@SurvivingNarcissism keep up the good work..
Thank You Dr. C you have been a God send to my life....Wow!
So pleased!
100% true. The family member I know tells me how I should wear my hair and what color she thinks it should be. She wants to pick out my clothes and shoes lol I'm over 60 mind you lol. In another words she wants me to look exactly like her. It is so ridiculous. I wore my hair down the other day and she has since told me that she likes it up better and that she doesn't like it when I wear it down. She always wears her hair up. She has a neighbor friend that wears her hair down all the time and my family member tells me she doesn't like when she wears her hair down either. She has mentioned this several times now. The way I see it is I must look pretty good with my hair down for her to feel so threatened by it lol. Next time I see her I'm going to wear it down and watch her short circuit lol.
Wow that is fricken ridiculous. Thank you for the laugh.
@@wakeupordie The woman is a mess. She is nearly 80yrs old so I just let it kinda slide.
This is the most comprehensive description of my narc that you have ever shared, Dr. Carter. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
both of my parents are narcissists and this video is just so spot on, it is more accurate than anything else I have ever seen, thank you
Please that it resonated!
So true! Both my narc and I were born Presbyterian. We met at a church camp age 14 and15 and while there he decided to go into the ministry and a point in our study group caught my attention. I searched for 7 years before deciding to become an Anglican and waited nearly 2 years to be confirmed. We met again half a century later, he decided we would marry, and he constantly made snide remarks to me and others about Anglicans. It was not worth explaining or arguing with him but he could not allow me to be myself. Our divorce is extremely nasty.
For what it’s worth I’m Episcopalian.
Contempt is their favorite weapon.
@@SurvivingNarcissism me too! :) thanks for everything, Dr. C. You're the best 🙂
@ I thought you sounded like a good guy. Thanks for the helpful videos.
the covert does’n’t say how inadequate you are, they act it out through ignoring you and refusing to engage in any meaningful discussion. I wish you would cover this type of narcissism in your talks.
It's comes to be a lonely life.
If you do a search on my channel's search bar, you should find numerous videos on the covert narcissist.
Makes life hard when an issue necessitates a conversation.
This fits to a T my experience with a friend who I knew for decades. Only in the last few years did the casual friendship break down, and when it did, it was exactly as this video describes. He couldn't think except in black and white, and he decided I was the guy in the black hat because I rejected his ideology. He ridiculed me because I take an antidepressant, saying, "Go take your medicine!" He DEMANDED I answer his question the way he wanted me to, even saying that he was copying and pasting our messaging to a permanent file. What a joker. I wish I had done as a mutual friend did decades earlier, and realized the guy was a devious covert narcissist. At least I'm not like those who mourned his death still thinking he was the smartest, nicest, most confident man they had ever met.
Came straight here after listening to JMM thanks for all your strength Dr. C
You are quite welcome. And thank you!
Hi Les … from Australia
Your a legend ❤
It can be down to the smallest decision you make (like trying a new cough medicine). If it affected them in a negative way - you can’t try it, buy it, think it, or even mutter the thought of it. (I am exaggerating or am I?). My point is, no one is an individual in the narcs eyes. Their experience will be your own experience.
So spot on, Dr. C! Thank you for your wisdom.
For the record- Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D. ( presenter- awareness- mental health) - btw- thank you 😊; again; thank you 😊
Thanks, Michelle!
My narc spouse went into a silent rage over an opinion I expressed-niether about, nor directed toward him-that was contrary to his beliefs. I don’t even recall what the comment was, though it may have been quasi-political. I was completely baffled by his reaction. In counseling, he expressed that he couldn’t stand that I made what sounded like a definitive statement that sounded to him like, “this is the way it is”…which is not at all what I stated or intended. The counselor had to talk him off the ledge.
Whatever other factors there might be, marriage and children, with their inherent ambiguities, only add fuel to the narc’s pathologic fire.
It’s interesting that you can’t remember what the comment was…?
@ jmj5388 it is interesting that you can’t recall what the comment was…?
Am also always to blame!!!! I am a terribly different person!!!!
From close observation, shame, the threat of exposure, and intense jealousy drives them deep in, possibly inescapably.
BTW- Puppy 🐶 Gus 👀 looking 👀 fabulous!!!!!
For this topic I have serious difficulty in translating my thought in English...
Anyhow, it's something like:
Narcissists have *no sufficient level of contact with reality* .
They have no grip on reality. [ transl doubt: grip? is it a correct term in this case? 🤔 ok , it's something like that ]
And, for the majority of narcs, the more they go on, the more they lose that contact.
To the point they have *no more contact* .
The underlying reasons are:
- their necessity to maintain a fake facade
(through very-very different facts of life. This way they become more and more confused)
- their lack of empathy, meaning, eventually they can't truly understand other people ( > consequently they can't grow in any direction but pathology)
- their lack of "attachment" with literally everybody > so, they actually don't have any relationships. They don't have this pivotal human skill
( "attachment" is a professional psychological term... I've just followed some free conferences... Anyway I'm sure people here in Team Healthy do know what it is. For people wondering what it is, just google "attachment in psychology" )
Love you and God bless! You have great English and communication skills ❤🙂
You have great English and a good heart ❤️
Thank you so much @Sherry and @Amanda.
You are very kind 💚💕
Hugs from Italy 💚
God bless! 🌟
Thank you, Dr. C 😇🙏🏼🌟
Hi Dr Carter,
Is scale the only difference between a totalitarian regime and a narcissistic relationship?
What you’re describing here resembles the philosophical groundwork of totalitarianism.
It’s all on a spectrum.
I envy Dr. C's knowledge of adjectives
Shame! They hate being found out
You get involved in their shame-rage spiral. 🌀
Dear Amanda, thank you so much for your lovely answer, which really touched my heart so that some tears were rolling onto my face 🥰.
What wonderful news you have! It's so great to hear that there have come big changes into your life. First of all that your youngest moved out all by himself!!! Although it does not went without drama (I can imagine it very clearly for I know these drama's much too well 🙄.) I hope your tum is able to relax now a bit more. I am sure the space will do you good, both of you. It's time for him to live his own, seperated life to make his own experiences.
Glad to hear that your eldest enjoyed Berlin and what an honour for you that he wanted Your opinion buying his first car! 😊
My daughter just stayed one night at home and I am mixed up with all sorts of different feelings and thoughts that scare me. She is now on the way back to Munich to finish the movie. She's quite sad that it ends soon because she had such a fantastic time. At the end of next week she will go to Vienna to visit her friend and will come back in the beginning of January.
Another collegue of mine that I know from the very beginning from another team phoned me at work two days ago. She was a bit horrified about the "confused" and changing worksituation. We will meet next week to talk about it.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you that you will find an apartment next year so that you will finally can create your own space and peace that you deserve so much.
Sending you all the best wishes of healing and recovery. And thanks again for your candle, that I still need.
🙏💗🫂
Amanda, if there is shame maybe there are signs of life. (heartbeat💓)
Yup
@@Summer_Harvestit’s the cause of the entire mess & can never be examined 😉
The other people he triangulates is our kids. It’s his way or the highway, and in 40 years we never argued. If I try to be normal (have friends) then I’m crazy. (Creative) His intellect is so superior that I should be willing to live his way. .(.night shift)
I stayed for 10 years too long; hoping to stay in the family. Eventually I had to chose between sanity or family. People try to comfort me by telling me the kids will come around eventually, but that’s hollow because I am missing out on the grandchildren. That’s my punishment. I know they have been told that I’m mean and crazy. (I’ve heard them). It’s a unique experience being shut out of the family I created. At least I had 10 years of anxiety and depression to get used to the idea, basically I’ve been fired; just as I knew I would be.
I told the narcissist that I cannot say anything to him without him taking it as a personal attack. His response was "well most of the time it is." Yes, I would rather bang my head on concrete than talk to him.
It scares me to see the low level my spouse will stoop. Thankfully he’s a very good person! One with little to no personal coping skills though. I taught him how he must use his voice, how his feelings matter completely. This started to turn into ever woooh n whooo. As life is overall unbalanced. Next unfortunate told him he must go back to pretending, as in staying quite over little issues. Although they very well add up to unfair.
Only circumstantially, not intentionally manipulative ones. Like he allowed in his mindset, where he was tricked and handed his life to a N. For a handful of years. Tell he bankrupt his life to escape her. That time really poisoned his beyond fragile sense of self and reality. 😮 you never live it down. You only live through it and move forward.
I'm tired of going back and forth it's affecting my health. I might as well talk to a wall. 😮😮
Thank you, Dr Carter.
That so perfectly describes a narcissist’s way of seeing things. For most people, if we have differences we can agree to disagree and move forward in life. Not everything is worth fighting an ideological war over. People have different perspectives and opinions and that’s fine, that’s how it’s supposed to be. But throw a narcissist in the mix…that’s what we’re going through right now with someone very close to us. They are so deep in their narcissism that they came up with this idea that “agree to disagree” is actually “demonic” and “sinful” and that we should instead “agree to agree”, which to this person means agreeing with them exclusively. All of this based on, like, one incomplete sentence somewhere in the Bible. So then of course if you don’t agree with them, you’re “in sin” or “have allowed Satan to influence you” which makes all of your arguments invalid to them. It is EXHAUSTING. When we finally stood up to the narcissist and held the line of no, we are NOT going to agree on this, they basically imploded. Now they want to “heal the relationship” and have things go back to the way they used to be. Which was when everyone was under the narcissist’s control. Sorry but we’re not going back to that. If the only way that person will be happy with us is if we are under their control, then they’re just going to have to get used to being unhappy. 🤷♀️
Well why not them be unhappy. They made us unhappy for decades.
Let them be unhappy. They made us unhappy for decades. Also, have an escape plan ready.
My brother said “the only way to deal with horrible people is to not be horrible yourself.”
He voted for Trump and can’t handle what’s happening with the cabinet picks, so he decided it’s not his fault in any way. Now suddenly he thinks we’re going to approve of what he’s done.
I really hate their gaslighting.
What he did is not ok and no amount of his BS talk will stop the nightmare now.
Lots of contradictions in his talk!
Aww. Gus in the thumbnail.❤
Thank you Dr.C
God bless you and your loved one and dear GUS.
From Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI
Yeah, I thought it was about time Gus was on a thumbnail pic!
@ heeeeeheeeeeee….I sure do love Gus.
My dad said to me years ago married is about give and take. It's a shame it didn't work out with my wife .
My ex-fiancé yelled and declared that I am rigid and closed-minded when I shared that I don’t enjoy listening to sad music.
I’m considering Normotim - does it work as well as other options?
Cool gus, im looking
"I'm a person, too!"
Dr Carter I wish their conversation with us would be like your responses of the narcissist. It's so ugly and mean. 🥺😞😞
My hubby used to tell me, “ If you think like me, there’ll be no problems”.
Crazy will not recognize facts. So you can't reason with crazy. Keep crazy away from you and live well.
Same here!!!!
The role of acquiescence: There's much consideration of the roles of genetics and free choice in the shaping of personality and relationships. But (1) choice is not always free but can be forced upon us and (2) acquiescence (the submissive acceptance of another's decision) are also in play. Life is not as simple as we would like. What can we say about acquiescence? Are we wrong in accepting the rejection of another? According to the rule of free choice, we are not. What's the proper response to rejection?
First to identify it. There are so many variables beyond that.
@@Summer_Harvest I guess that's my point. I only have one response, which is to withdraw and feel bad about myself.
@@Rachel-mz8ko I understand what you are saying now. Sorry, I didn't at first. It's the gradient between being forced and total rejection (where they will let you go).
Sure you can choose to withdraw at that point but is your hope for change in that person? They really play a wicked game by deception.
What good does it do for a mouse to stay in a wood pile if the cat sits atop. The only chance for the mouse is to get out to real safety.
Ive been. Dealing with groups of n for years. Not one ever cared about my seeing my son. Now theyre claiming all people his age are separating from parents to deny their interference in my life was the cause.
The nex was just eighteen years old and I thought of him as a robot. And I couldn't fit into that robotic world and do things exactly the way they should be done according to the his family had always done things. I was sooooo inferior for my way of thinking.
So so accurate.
Well? 1:17 i feel the same way! 😂😂😂😂😂
But probably im more flexy than a Narc because im very open to be proven wrong
They become more degrading and insulting once you stand your ground with them for having your own beliefs and boundaries
Mine really hates it when I tell her that I won't reward bad behavior.
Seems like these narcissists grew up in a household with very controlling or caregivers who did not embrace individuality or thought and they take on these behaviors. They are shamed. If they try to have an opinion that differs from an authoritative figure and so as an adult they become the same way.
Support dog Gus, the best on the internet.❗❗#1
I agree!
I've been called idiot and moron so many times I don't hear it anymore. Then the person said I was angry that's why I said that. 😮😮🤪🤪😜😜
You have no rights in a narcissistic relationship. It's their way or no way at all!
11:09 Dr. Carter wanted to say politics. He caught himself but it's so true.
You caught me!
😁😁😁
Hi Gus! ❤
My narcissist goes into a rage anytime I ask a question, even when the question is to gain information necessary to successfully do what she wants. She really hates it when she gets on one of her abusive verbal attacks when she points out a cornflake on the floor I point out the time she left my SUV upside down in a ditch, or the one she got impounded, or the multiple
times she's hit something with my two current vehicles and has never made an effort to take the responsibility for fixing them.
Vote with your feet. 🎉
Narcissists = Real life trolls.
😂