A sadistic pleasure hurting others. Garden variety narcissists move to new targets if they don't get anything, but malignants plan on how to make you "pay". "The last stop on the train to sociopathy. -Dr Ramani"
The level of inefficiency and corruption in this administration is becoming absurd. Those who are disabled and do not receive the support to which they are legally entitled make me sad. I sincerely thank you, June Renae Matthysse. Imagine making $6k in 20 days with an investment of $1.5k
That woman transformed my entire life for the better. Among the folks I've met, June appears to be the most trustworthy. I'm surprised you know her as well
Married to a malignant narc who is a pastor for over 4 decades. People love him; however he really doesn't "connect" with people on a deeper level. It looks like he has a lot of relationships, but definitely a loner mindset. Definitely drawn to dominance and power...being "in charge." Anger - definitely - displayed in private, not in public. Or stuffs anger (thus, many physical issues). Definitely caring about image management. As to whether it is their nature or part of their personal background, a Scripture verse comes to mind: Jeremiah 13:23 - "Can the leopard [change] his spots?" It is part of who they are. Definitely out of touch regarding impact of childhood - does not want to look at it. Dr. C, THANK YOU so much for your videos! I have learned so much and been encouraged as I gain knowledge and understand the truth about these types of individuals.
This was my father 100%. He fed on fear and pain. He was relentless and seemed to feel no remorse. I was not prepared for how much relief I felt the day I heard he had died. I’m glad you are making people aware that these people exist, how casual and entitled they are about the abuse they engage in.
Looking Forward To This Video After Months And Years Of Horrific Emotional And Psychological Abuse The Narcissit Treated Me With Cruelty And Disrespect With Every Interaction.After Becoming Severly Sick With Stomach Issues This Was My Body Letting Me Know How Evil 😈 And Sadistic They Are .I Currently Have 2 Months Of No Contact. One Day At A Time.
This is familiar to me. Literally and figurarively. I know this type very well. I married it. Twice. The sum and substance of these experiences taught me that there is only room for one individual in these types of relationships - THEM! Everyone and everything else is just fodder for their narcissistic cannon of doom! Malignants? Just say "No!" And, as always, Stay Healthy!
My first husband, 28 years, was a overt narcissist and now after 10 years with my present husband realize that this one is a covert narcissist, the sneeky kind! I feel like I have wasted many years of my life 😢 These videos have helped me tremendously, thank you Dr. Carter for all your videos!
I didn't know this information either for years because it wasn't taught. I'm just glad I know it know so I can make better decisions and live a better life.
1. The driver for power is extreme 2. Higher "expertise" in distorting your reality 3. Paranoid traits are much more pronounced 4. Many sadistic tendencies 5. Extreme sense of entitlement/superiority 6. Higher levels of aggression/vindictiveness 7. Extreme superficial relationships 8. Trauma bonds are very likely and extremely difficult to break 1. This type has to be in control to gain power and they will certainly isolate you from your inner circle to get "total" control over you. 2. You will constantly second-guess yourself in their presence and feel like you are going insane. 3. They are extremly suspicious of the motives of others so that they see threats everywhere. 4. They like to cause others harm and take pleasure in watching them suffer. 5. They believe they are exceptionally unique and can only be understood by other “special” people. They also require constant admiration. 6. Because the paranoid traits are much more pronounced and because of their extreme feeling of grandiosity, they rage more often and more intense. 7. Relationships can feel extreme intense but are very unhealthy because their attachment style is pathological. 8. Because of the complexe emotional manipulations like intermittend reinforcement (extreme highs and lows), exploitation of attachment needs and the isolation of the victims these trauma bonds are very difficult to break.
My biological brother is a Covert Malignant Narcissist he tried to destroy his first wife and with his second wife he found his match. It is best to stay away from these people and let God handle
Was raised by, abused by and am now estranged from such an individual. I see a lot of the traits in myself unfortunately. Am working to improve and heal.
Anyone here grow up with a malignant narcissist in their family and think there could never be another person in the world like them? 🙋♀️ Beyond label. Beyond understanding. Beyond belief. Thank you, Dr Carter ☀️
I watched a Malignant Narcissist who was defiant to one specific rule (not leaving cigarette filters on the ground in the yard) target and harass my landlord/housemate/friend three years ago. After the tenant was removed from the house, rules over the years started to increase, most of which were irrelevant to preventing the situation again and directed towards me. Then things got weird last year. Her micromanaging and controlling behavior got out of control. Petty rules, double standards, retaliation when refusing to be brainwashed, bullied, and controlled. When I ignored her she targeted other tenants. A lot of her retaliation was isolated and covert so only that person would experience or notice it. Signs of a covert narcissist. It’s possible that I triggered narcissistic injury by ignoring petty rules that were of no consequence; specifically, not turning fish tank lights on when I fed them while she was on vacation and it escalated from there. She harassed three men for a year about not locking doors during the day while we were home in a safe and quiet neighborhood. When I refused to comply, she auto locked the back door early this year and days ago had an automated auto lock installed on the front door. While I had suspected and confirmed she had PTSD from a different situation when the tenant was in the house, it’s clear that she either has Complex PTSD and is projecting her own unresolved issues onto her tenants or was a covert lingering in the deep waters when I moved in. Her micromanaging elicits “defiant” behavior and since she sees things on a superficial level and fails to see the big picture, she impulsively reacts and when it backfires she goes into damage control mode. She has also recreated situations directed at me that we went through three years ago when I helped her try to document and deal with the tenant. She has taken advantage of other tenants not knowing about our history and somehow I went from a friend/tenant whom she bragged about to others to being talked to and treated like the person she hates most. I can move out, but this is about principle and her behavior is not ok.
With my malignant narcissist ex-boyfriend, it was his way or the highway-24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He didn’t care at all about my thoughts or opinions. He thrived on violating my boundaries and putting me down. The level of controlling behavior I experienced was unlike anything I had ever encountered before. He didn’t want me getting my nails done, dressing nicely, listening to the music I liked, or eating certain foods like spinach dip. Even ordering a large sandwich instead of a small one was a problem, and God forbid I didn’t finish every single bite. I started questioning what I could possibly do to please him because it felt like everything I did was unacceptable. I was constantly being scolded, no matter how trivial the issue. He would lay his hands on me when angry and had a habit of destroying objects, like smashing computer mice. He even built his desk out of concrete to avoid breaking it during his fits of rage. Malignant narcissists also hold grudges like no one else. They obsessively look for reasons to be offended, even by minor things, so they can blow them out of proportion later and make you out to be deranged or the devil. They are habitual liars, constantly projecting their own guilt onto others. They accuse everyone around them of doing the very things they’re guilty of. Their extreme paranoia makes them assume that everyone is out to get them-and perhaps they’re right, considering how many people they’ve wronged in their lives. There’s a chilling coldness and downright evil in their dark souls. If you even suspect you’re dealing with a narcissist, run. Malignant narcissists are, without question, the worst kind. They will abuse you emotionally, verbally, physically, and financially, and they feel no remorse because they lack a conscience entirely. My biggest regret is overlooking the glaring red flags and giving my ex chance after chance, hoping he could be a better man. I kept searching for good in him, but the truth was, it was never there to begin with.
It truly is a shame and a pity the mental institutions that would keep people, in many cases for the duration on their lives if necessary, were shut down so long ago. These people should be in there.
I have tried to stay away from the narcissistic community, blogs, etc. since embarking on my healing journey 5 years ago, but the title of this one caught my attention. I was with a woman who I believe qualifies for this title, and she was the most extreme example of hatefulness that I have come across in another human being. Very sad.
I'm finding that out the last few days I'm feeling humility as they think I played all my cards. Little does this person know what's coming. I'm a free bird being away from the toxic soup. 😮😮😊😊
Not just confined to parents or partners, the malignant narcissists exist in any possible social dynamic: workplace, friendships, family members, acquaintances, roommates, neighbors, etc, etc. etc.!
My ex is a dark tetrad. It's malignant narcissism, sadism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism all wrapped in one evil package. I would not be surprised if there were bodies buried somewhere. In a rare bout of honesty when I asked him why was he like this, he told me it was all he had ever known. I truly think he was born that way. My sister was born the way she is....
Their discard phase has a sadism that has a pleasure of making you the loser. Life is not about fairness but about coping with the balance of the situations. They believe their damage is unfair and project it with a warped sense of justice.
Dr C, I have all the "spoilers" 😁 [ _well, nothing to laugh at all, indeed_ 😔 ] because I have your webinar Decoding Darkness, here with me. Still, even if now it's a very clear situation, all new videos you do on this topic are a very important support for me. Thank you so much 💚
@SurvivingNarcissism Great, dr C 🙂 Much appreciated and very crucial for all people like me dealing with complex trauma... Meaning we need ongoing reminders and simple frames, daily work, to stay focused on the basics, beyond the fog and the confusion. Different approaches, different methods (mind-body & viceversa) plus repeated healthy & easy messages are helping me a lot.
@@sv-yh3mq Deb Dana (a great developer of Stephen Porges polyvagal theory) has a specific term for that: glimmers. Meaning, wounded people can find _glimmers_ in different ways and places. Glimmers supporting our healing
Responding to @dakoderii: I wholeheartedly agree w/you! Their (the covert ones) work and impact is so insidious, that you become an isolated victim (while THEY pretend to be victim--and try making you the villain thru smear campaigns/triangularing/etc.). That's b/c of your fear of not being BELIEVED (--which, in fact, you probably WON'T be, b/c they're so publically, GOOD). Then too, there's the embarrassment & humiliation of having been entangled w/such a one--esp. if in it for a long time! (People wonder WHY/HOW you COULD'VE stayed in THAT for so long???--something that YOU too, may have questioned--and are finally [hopefully], finding some answers for!) Since others don't see or know (nor question--just assume stuff) about "that side" of them or what they DO (as they portray themselves as an "angel of light"), none are the wiser about them. Only you (their victim) and God really KNOW the TRUTH about them! May GOD help ALL victims, WHOMEVER they be--waay MORE than you know about!
Interesting to hear your views on narcissists from the perspectives of your chaplain father and forensic psychologist brother, Dr Carter. I am sure it's true that some people are bad. But if you look into the backgrounds of people in prison, most have had a horrific upbringing. Also there are many miscarriages of justice not only in America but everywhere. Where the death penalty exists, these miscarriages are irreversible. This is also evil, and narcissistic.
I believe this describes my mother to a T. She was always too faced and nice to the outside world and mean to our family at home. I have been no contact with her for a few years now and it was the best decision I ever made. She is deeply flawed and I don’t have any faith she will change.
10:50 Very Strong message. defend yourself behaviorally fully. Verbally minimally. Silence speaks louder. But remember they'll mimic your silence back on you. Be on guard. They don't forget to take revenge. I was born in a Malignant Narc Family. 8 Malignant narcs out of 11. Suffered every narc trait since childhood. I stone walled them. Thanks God i am born a Leo { Lion}. Dragon in Chinese . and Crocodile in Indian Horoscope. I never succumbed .Always fought back and F_____ them all up. They missing me. I work for an Int. Airline. I made them my Flt. Beneficiaries. They thought The Airline gave it to them and that's it. They didn't know i could remove them myself .
My last bf is a malignant narcissist. While I’ve had exposure to many narcs, that one really darkened the way I view the world now. I didn’t recognize the constant smirk on his face for what it was. I thought he was socially awkward and just didn’t know how to apologise for bad behaviors. I took a lot of time gently explaining how healthy individuals behave. Anytime he would approach me for a hug or general intimacy he would physically harm me with that stupid smirk on his face the whole time. I remember speaking to my therapist and pondering that he must not know his own strength. My therapist thought he was autistic. It angered me when he’d say that because the bf openly expressed his sick, twisted beliefs to me so I knew his words and actions were a choice. When he began blaming me for physically hurting me is when it fully clicked in my head. And I realized it was a smirk on his face, not an uncomfortableness with himself not knowing how to apologise. He enjoyed hurting me! WTF. It took many months on my end to keep a distance from him so he couldn’t harm me while also appearing normal but boring, thus no supply for him. Eventually he made the decision to move out (obviously while being a giant manchild) and I was beyond thrilled. I knew I would be safe if he thought he was discarding me and it worked. I knew my life was in danger and slowly implementing a strategy for him to leave on his own was mentally exhausting but it had to be done, especially while he had amassed a large collection of guns in just one year. I know I wouldn’t be here today if I had allowed him to stay. One odd behavior he had was forcing an agenda that he would never have done otherwise. If he wanted to do something involving me or my property nothing was going to stop him, no matter how stupid, dangerous, or illegal it was, all because I’d disagree with him. Once he bought hundreds of dollars of illegal fireworks and was trying to decide where to light them. My home was in a quiet neighborhood and I said no. Quickly he decided we’d go to a canyon rim in the desert and he’d light them there. That’s highly illegal and could easily start a fire. He would never do something like that but because he was trying to assert his authority over me all logical reasoning ceased to exist. I managed that situation by taking him over to my friends house where, with the happiness of a 5 year old, he lit every firework off in a few minutes in broad daylight. The next year I rented a yurt in the forest so no firework ideas could even happen. Another time I had adopted a 12 pound dog and he immediately insisted we go to his parents house to show his mom. He didn’t like his mom so I knew this was something else. This was a show of dominance and had nothing to do with his mom but rather forcing me to go or he’d take the dog without my consent. They had two pit bulls that had killed other animals before. Recognizing he would take the dog regardless, and only because I said no, I went and held the dog out of reach the whole time so she would be safe. They didn’t get her but she bit one in the face when he got too close. I only stayed 10 minutes. Those are just two examples. I don’t think that would fall under the “weaponized incompetence” category. I wonder what that behavior is called and the reasoning behind it, other than asserting dominance. Malignant narcs are pure evil, there is no goodness inside of them.
I cannot image how nerve racking this must have been for you, constantly gently trying to steer away from foolish actions. As a kid, we had one such adult around, who "loved playing with children". As a kid, he would always shake your hand with too much force (so it hurt) & refuse to release it. Or throw the ball, so you could not reach it (he could aim perfectly well, not accidental). Or offer you a toy, and then refuse to release it, so you had a tug-of-war starting. Many more similar examples... All the time. A lot of adults were fooled "he was so nice to children", so as a kid you couldnt really say much. The smirk was plastered on his face all the time while he did this + staring you point blank in the eye in a very forceful way. I just tried to stay clear as much as possible whenever he was around. How sick and twisted must you be as an adult to get your domination kicks from secretly domineering random small children ?
That’s repulsive. What a sick person. I think one of the things that angers me the most is when these evil individuals prey on people who are innocent and vulnerable, like children, the elderly, animals, etc. Just thinking about that makes my blood boil. I wish they’d all move to Mars so we never have to be exposed to their ugly smirks and entitled attitudes.
So glad you managed to have him discard you and leave. My ex has some similarities. I went to therapy for years trying to figure out what was going on. Like you, one said he was autistic. Another said he had avoidant attachment. They gave me the worst advice as a result, adding to the gaslighting. My ex also collected lots of guns.
I fled yesterday, pouring rain. Drove for a long time. Today I feel hollow, numb, what now. He poked me in my injured back, then said he never touched me. He has a horrible temper. He is called spock now I know why.
@ thank you holding my faith, God made it possible for myself and dog to leave. Thankful my daughter said I could come to there house. I feel not right emotionally, mentally. Like I am floating in limbo. Maybe this is normal. I don't know. I am a bit disabled. But I feel free like an animal that has been let out of a cage and observing the area. Very cautious , One step at a time
I had years' long legal battles with one such. I simply could not persuade my lawyers that the narc would never ever show insight, commonsense and responsibility. He was far too determined to take me down with him. The lawyers, thousands of dollars later, had to concede he was quite insane. Explanations such as yours would have been so useful...
I remember a girl in Church daycare - her parents and siblings were nice, kind - from a toddler, she was the devil. When her parents spanked her, she laughed- actually laughed in their face. It was unnerving.
Spot on. Forced interactions are another common proclivity. If you can't get away keep the coffee intake low. It just makes you more reactive and puts you on an emotional roller coaster. Knowing what they are lessens the impact tremendously. That's why videos like these are so important. The blow you don't expect lands the hardest.
Two people of my acquaintance once got into a heated, escalating exchange over who had the worse temper - they weren't accusing each other but actively competing for the title like it was something to be won.
This was pure gold DR Le's, Thank you so much for this, You're a great bloke, I have experience with this, Peace, love and respect to you, Gus and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-) :-) :-)
"They take pride in being fearless and cold-hearted." And, yes, she was like this as a child. I've heard the stories; some even from her own mouth. about how belligerent she was and how she hated her brother. There are childhood pictures of her scowling at him. My poor grandmother, in desperation, once tied her to a tree. This is THE ONE characteristic that I can admit to her having. But, somehow I'm struggling to "see" her as a narcissist. (Is it still possible to think there may have been SOME good there? She didn't kill us.)
I never encountered them until 2020 on FB. Exposing him for what he did attracted more online narcs. This includes Sam Vaknin who stalks my media posts daily to try and label me and post his daily videos to indirectly label me as BPD.
@@elcee7800 Maybe. To me, it's stronger and, honestly, more insulting. It was an appropriate term when it first started, but today, because of social media, anyone who draws attention to themselves are labeled narcissistic. But it goes way beyond drawing attention to oneself. Ego-mania is what drives them. They are sick bastards, with a sick agenda. The focus should be on that.
Thank you again dr C for all the helpful perspectives you give us. For you and all Team Healthy... Also for anyone observing this group of narcissists. Following the possible trail of "nature", I have been asking this question (on my own, by myself) for some time. Topic Malignant Narcissists - Sociop and so on. > From a physiological point of view, are there any studies with the purpose of demonstrating other types of insensitivity (in addition to the emotional insensitivity)? Meaning, in my case, over the years, as a normal daughter toward her parents, I have (softly and gently) told my mother several times to ask the family doctor for a visit or a check-up on the physical thermoregulatory centers ( > I don't know the medical term in English). This is a fact, visible by anyone, but she always minimizes the situation, my mother is insensitive to the cold temperatures... and here in northern Italy we often have freezing cold, in autumn - winter - spring. She has always replied (with a good amount of contempt towards others) that, in her life, she had to work hard and learn to deal with the cold. (in reality she has always worked in well-heated professional environments. That's to say, in the few years of job outside her home, she has never worked facing cold weather. This was just another of her lies). Instead, she has always made the whole family suffer from cold in the house, both us children and her enabler husband who also shivers from the cold (not only out of fear) because in her mind the abnormal and weak ones are all the other people. The point is, are there scientific data about this physical condition in malignant narcissists and sociopath? By the way, in the summer she needs a lot of air conditioning, of course.
My problem with the idea of the 'narcissism is on a scale' is that many things narcissists do aren't on a scale. Normal people don't wake up one morning and think 'You know what? Today I'm going to make one of my children the golden child who can do nothing wrong and the other child the black sheep who can do nothing right. That's what narcissist do and that type of behavior isn't on a scale.
I wonder if narcissists have that much self awareness or insight. I think they just wake up feeling mean and out of control and they do what they do trying to be in control.
Wow. I didn't dodge a bullet. I dodged a nuclear warhead. Narcky boy started devaluing me big time. I walked because this wasn't my first rodeo. Divorce is final!❤ Oh. And I left the state. Went home. And it's a place he's scared of. Rural, cold, tundra. Narcky boy likes lots of people and cities. He also doesn't like the fact that we believe in the 2A. For some reason.😂 I didn't know anything about narcs when I left. I just felt that he was dangerous. Guess I wasn't wrong.
My dad was a city slicker who hated that I grew up in the country and learned to work with my hands from my grandfather. I can't stand living in the city anymore. People are arrogant and think they know everything but their lack of basic knowledge is astounding. Dunning-Kruger in full effect in the cities. They fake it till they never make it then find someone to vindictively target. My dad was one of the worst I've ever run across.
@dakoderii4221 city people think they're so tough until you actually take them to the country. Then they cry like a baby. He thought there was wild animals everywhere 🤣
Hi. I would say that many of us adult children can say that we are lucky to be alive. Just an example. As adults we had to learn to recognize and treat so many (even very simple) physical pathologies, neglected for decades by the narcissistic mother, who mainly cared about herself. I really believe that many children of malignant narcissists died at a young age, especially due to neglectful behavior. (Sometimes also due to deliberate sadistic behavior... Meaning that the malignant narc is not exactly aware of the consequences on a young child). Just one example, this is just a "soft" example, in my case: I learned the hard way, totally on my own, at a very young age, what an allergy or a food intolerance is. So, I stayed away from certain foods, even if it meant going fasting. For my mother it was a whim. As an adult, doctors confirmed my serious food intolerances. Anyway, I mean, even without a medical test, a normal mother is able to see if her child always vomits or has severe diarrhea just after eating diary products. This is only one of many examples from my personal experience. There is another one in the other comment of mine, written a few minutes ago, about the environment in our house during the cold climate. Other more devastating examples, I'm not able to write them down yet... because they are too triggering for me. I'm on my recovery path.
My sib was adopted as an infant. Newborn. I can still remember being around 3yrs standing at the stove watching the pan of boiling water with bottle nipples n attachment while holding a pr of tongs waiting for the timer so i could put them on a dry towel. I stood on chairs so much. I get weepy if i consider my childhood too long. I will keep this relatively short. My sib as the story goes... wwas left on the beach as a baby. I figure in Spring. Sib was also left at the tennis court. Wonder why baby was forgotten there? Sib was likely about 5 or 7 mo old. Mommie dearest thought these events were funny and it bcame sickning to hear her carry on like silly me. She was half lit at the beach. We played while she got lit. Then drove whichever way home was best for her condition. About 15 yrs ago i started asking questions again. How many kids were actually there? She had said lots. 2 little boys n their mom who wasn't nuts. Finally after listening to her try n hawhaw me i calmly stated... you Do know that in this day n age that's considered child neglect?. No more hawhaw stories. She used to scare me as a little kid on the rocketoplane and yell at me for being terrified. Ppl lookt at her when we left n i think it was once but memories of rides was so bad my kids hardly ever got to do the midway. Unless i didn't have to ride along. Times had seriously changed when I had kids n i vowed to break the abuse cycle n read all this child psych stuff which in late 60s was minimal. Child abuse wasn't taken very seriously until about 1975 where i was. Malignant narcissists are very sick sadistic pathological liars i think theh have substance abuse or alchoholic probs. They love public humiliation. Frankly.. from my view after a lifetime of work n cptsd n etc. I would highly recommend that you go NC n as a minor..... i could well understand why the Menendez Brothers did that murder. There's been several ppl on the Abq news that are in prison for murder of parents and I wonder. They were abused n gaslit by relatives who knew about the abuse. It's hell what kids of malignant narcs suffer unless you are picked as protege. My sib is an ocd malignant narc. It runs w females but not males due to gigantic differences in raising and life experiences. Now i just want to die with inner peace and love in my heart. Not violently. Yall be safe n many blessings. ❤
I do believe some of them are inherit it from parents or grandparents. It is impossible that a 4 members of a family all of them behave the exact same way as one of the grandparents was. So I have been told.
Is it possible for a malignant narcissist to be aware of their own scars, especially those from their development years, and instead of seeing them as opportunities to heal and be better people, they turn them around to justify and assert their need for control and dominance?
Yup. My brother did it. He's well aware of how angry he is with our parents but instead of becoming a better person, he chose contempt. He cannot escape his contempt, does nothing with it and thinks he's been wronged and is entitled to all at the expense of others. He has 0 empathy and 0 emotional intelligence. He doesn't apologize or take any true responsibility for anything. A sad sad individual. Thank God I'm done. He's dead to me.
Hello Dr. Les! Thankyou for this explanation. I'm always alone and every one I ever knew and loved EVERYONE!!! Im hurt so badly I now can't function. I have chronic fatigue syndrome now and I can't function anymore. I was wondering if you know how to connect with people like group therapy?
Question: if you see that a younger child has this hard wiring, what is some advice you would give to the parents in parenting him/her? What resources would you recommend to the parents?
Absolutely theyre selfish arrogant and just dam cruel only want what suits them my son is 61 im 80 today not word from him in 18mths because i spoke up apparently i crossed the line 😢
What amazes me is. How they are o.k. being used. I know for their benefit. However, Is it that they are passive when they are being used? When they are successful it gives them all the right to be who they are. Does a heart just pump blood? Or, can our mind and heart be our soul. Meaning when I get a thought. Do I cycle it through what I believe is my soul than my mind? Or my mind first and then through my soul. Please let me know if this is crazy talk?
I keep telling people and trying to inform just enough for the willfully ignorant but they still carry on like la de da we don't care. Hope they like living in the hell their heroes are going to do to this country. This yr i finally figured out that someone who was adopted can be raised by a malignant narcissist and now she is n daughter. Doesn't seem to be dna or actual kinship but i do notice the baby of the family or family royalty seems to be a marker. Many blessings ya'll.
Angry, pessimistic, can't connect, hides things, proud to talk about people who he claims are his friends, nasty quite regularly... yup! I like to classify these types as bullies, babies and incredibly immature. No Thank you.
Yes, however, the malignant narcissist is still capable of forming bonds with certain humans--their human supply or puppets that provide usefulness, are subordinate to their control/commands, provide admiration, praise, brown-nosing, validation, approval, free attention, etc. The sociopath is unable to form bonds with humans.
12:25 This may be a _”dark subject”,_ but I appreciated this more than you know. You described my father to a capital T. He died from Covid complications in January 2022 at the age of ~63. The most difficult part of his dying was mourning over the apology I was never going to get. I would very much like to hear more about this subject; I still have a few wounds to heal. ❤️🩹
A sadistic pleasure hurting others. Garden variety narcissists move to new targets if they don't get anything, but malignants plan on how to make you "pay". "The last stop on the train to sociopathy. -Dr Ramani"
Perfectly said💯👍👊
Yes they have sociopathy traits… such as being Sadistic and cruel behavior
From what I gathered and experienced they are already a full blown sociopaths. Such a fine line between being evil and less evil.
Yeah. I hurt people and I cry for days. They hurt people and they get their jollies out of it
Well said... ☝️
Stay kind, stay calm, stay vigilant.
- Dr.Les Carter
I’ll second that
The level of inefficiency and corruption in this administration is becoming absurd. Those who are disabled and do not receive the support to which they are legally entitled make me sad. I sincerely thank you, June Renae Matthysse. Imagine making $6k in 20 days with an investment of $1.5k
That woman transformed my entire life for the better. Among the folks I've met, June appears to be the most trustworthy. I'm surprised you know her as well
They are dangerous and cold. But they appear to other people as angels, helpful, friendly... Thanks Dr C. and Gus.
Married to a malignant narc who is a pastor for over 4 decades. People love him; however he really doesn't "connect" with people on a deeper level. It looks like he has a lot of relationships, but definitely a loner mindset. Definitely drawn to dominance and power...being "in charge." Anger - definitely - displayed in private, not in public. Or stuffs anger (thus, many physical issues). Definitely caring about image management. As to whether it is their nature or part of their personal background, a Scripture verse comes to mind: Jeremiah 13:23 - "Can the leopard [change] his spots?" It is part of who they are.
Definitely out of touch regarding impact of childhood - does not want to look at it. Dr. C, THANK YOU so much for your videos! I have learned so much and been encouraged as I gain knowledge and understand the truth about these types of individuals.
Thank you too
This was my father 100%. He fed on fear and pain. He was relentless and seemed to feel no remorse. I was not prepared for how much relief I felt the day I heard he had died. I’m glad you are making people aware that these people exist, how casual and entitled they are about the abuse they engage in.
Looking Forward To This Video After Months And Years Of Horrific Emotional And Psychological Abuse The Narcissit Treated Me With Cruelty And Disrespect With Every Interaction.After Becoming Severly Sick With Stomach Issues This Was My Body Letting Me Know How Evil 😈 And Sadistic They Are .I Currently Have 2 Months Of No Contact. One Day At A Time.
Stay Strong...
Seemingly Impossible,but embrace every little moment of joy that you can
It will appear,your joy that is
@ Thank You 🙏
There's that extra sadistic meanness!
with a “dead giveaway “ smirk on their faces.
@matilda1505 I hate the smirk!
Me too-
@@amandaliverpool3374 Meanness is a word that comes up often that I forgot. Thank you for reminding me.
They are more active-aggressive than passive-aggressive. 😰
@@yukio_saito Indeed!
@@yukio_saito We call that "Aggressive-Aggressive". 😂
@@BobTheSchipperke 👍
This is familiar to me. Literally and figurarively. I know this type very well. I married it. Twice. The sum and substance of these experiences taught me that there is only room for one individual in these types of relationships - THEM! Everyone and everything else is just fodder for their narcissistic cannon of doom! Malignants? Just say "No!" And, as always, Stay Healthy!
My first husband, 28 years, was a overt narcissist and now after 10 years with my present husband realize that this one is a covert narcissist, the sneeky kind! I feel like I have wasted many years of my life 😢 These videos have helped me tremendously, thank you Dr. Carter for all your videos!
Can’t wait for this one. I’m going to guess , “endless contempt.”
They are vicious
For decades I blamed myself for not being strong enough to be bothered by their behaviour, now I blame myself for not knowing.
Give yourself credit for your lightbulb moments. Congratulate yourself for growing.
I didn't know this information either for years because it wasn't taught. I'm just glad I know it know so I can make better decisions and live a better life.
@@matilda1505 It's not your fault 💕
A common symptom of life with a narcissist 🙏
It's complicated
It seems like a lifetime of recovery for the scapegoat/target of the malignant narrsist. Much comfort 💔🥀
Fasting is how you do it, maybe the only way. When you do eat, eat healthy.
You got to build up slowly overtime. First intermittently then prolonged water fasts.
It is a lifetime and you never recover really
1. The driver for power is extreme
2. Higher "expertise" in distorting your reality
3. Paranoid traits are much more pronounced
4. Many sadistic tendencies
5. Extreme sense of entitlement/superiority
6. Higher levels of aggression/vindictiveness
7. Extreme superficial relationships
8. Trauma bonds are very likely and extremely difficult to break
1. This type has to be in control to gain power and they will certainly isolate you from your inner circle to get "total" control over you.
2. You will constantly second-guess yourself in their presence and feel like you are going insane.
3. They are extremly suspicious of the motives of others so that they see threats everywhere.
4. They like to cause others harm and take pleasure in watching them suffer.
5. They believe they are exceptionally unique and can only be understood by other “special” people. They also require constant admiration.
6. Because the paranoid traits are much more pronounced and because of their extreme feeling of grandiosity, they rage more often and more intense.
7. Relationships can feel extreme intense but are very unhealthy because their attachment style is pathological.
8. Because of the complexe emotional manipulations like intermittend reinforcement (extreme highs and lows),
exploitation of attachment needs and the isolation of the victims these trauma bonds are very difficult to break.
@@roxymovie3938 ...nailed it again Roxie 👍🏻
Yes. The trauma bonds. Gave me fibromyalgia.
Trauma bonds also persist after death
@caroleminke6116 ...they do indeed & are insidious !
@@roxymovie3938 You know your narcs unfortunately 😢
My biological brother is a Covert Malignant Narcissist he tried to destroy his first wife and with his second wife he found his match. It is best to stay away from these people and let God handle
Was raised by, abused by and am now estranged from such an individual. I see a lot of the traits in myself unfortunately. Am working to improve and heal.
Anyone here grow up with a malignant narcissist in their family and think there could never be another person in the world like them? 🙋♀️
Beyond label.
Beyond understanding.
Beyond belief.
Thank you, Dr Carter ☀️
@@Teacher369 My ex stepfather 🙋♀️
A parent. They stay the same. Give up hope.
I watched a Malignant Narcissist who was defiant to one specific rule (not leaving cigarette filters on the ground in the yard) target and harass my landlord/housemate/friend three years ago. After the tenant was removed from the house, rules over the years started to increase, most of which were irrelevant to preventing the situation again and directed towards me. Then things got weird last year. Her micromanaging and controlling behavior got out of control. Petty rules, double standards, retaliation when refusing to be brainwashed, bullied, and controlled. When I ignored her she targeted other tenants. A lot of her retaliation was isolated and covert so only that person would experience or notice it. Signs of a covert narcissist.
It’s possible that I triggered narcissistic injury by ignoring petty rules that were of no consequence; specifically, not turning fish tank lights on when I fed them while she was on vacation and it escalated from there. She harassed three men for a year about not locking doors during the day while we were home in a safe and quiet neighborhood. When I refused to comply, she auto locked the back door early this year and days ago had an automated auto lock installed on the front door.
While I had suspected and confirmed she had PTSD from a different situation when the tenant was in the house, it’s clear that she either has Complex PTSD and is projecting her own unresolved issues onto her tenants or was a covert lingering in the deep waters when I moved in. Her micromanaging elicits “defiant” behavior and since she sees things on a superficial level and fails to see the big picture, she impulsively reacts and when it backfires she goes into damage control mode. She has also recreated situations directed at me that we went through three years ago when I helped her try to document and deal with the tenant. She has taken advantage of other tenants not knowing about our history and somehow I went from a friend/tenant whom she bragged about to others to being talked to and treated like the person she hates most. I can move out, but this is about principle and her behavior is not ok.
With my malignant narcissist ex-boyfriend, it was his way or the highway-24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He didn’t care at all about my thoughts or opinions. He thrived on violating my boundaries and putting me down. The level of controlling behavior I experienced was unlike anything I had ever encountered before.
He didn’t want me getting my nails done, dressing nicely, listening to the music I liked, or eating certain foods like spinach dip. Even ordering a large sandwich instead of a small one was a problem, and God forbid I didn’t finish every single bite. I started questioning what I could possibly do to please him because it felt like everything I did was unacceptable. I was constantly being scolded, no matter how trivial the issue.
He would lay his hands on me when angry and had a habit of destroying objects, like smashing computer mice. He even built his desk out of concrete to avoid breaking it during his fits of rage. Malignant narcissists also hold grudges like no one else. They obsessively look for reasons to be offended, even by minor things, so they can blow them out of proportion later and make you out to be deranged or the devil.
They are habitual liars, constantly projecting their own guilt onto others. They accuse everyone around them of doing the very things they’re guilty of. Their extreme paranoia makes them assume that everyone is out to get them-and perhaps they’re right, considering how many people they’ve wronged in their lives. There’s a chilling coldness and downright evil in their dark souls.
If you even suspect you’re dealing with a narcissist, run. Malignant narcissists are, without question, the worst kind. They will abuse you emotionally, verbally, physically, and financially, and they feel no remorse because they lack a conscience entirely.
My biggest regret is overlooking the glaring red flags and giving my ex chance after chance, hoping he could be a better man. I kept searching for good in him, but the truth was, it was never there to begin with.
Big hugs 🩵
100%
This describes the worst you could find. It's unbelievable.. but true.
It truly is a shame and a pity the mental institutions that would keep people, in many cases for the duration on their lives if necessary, were shut down so long ago. These people should be in there.
I have tried to stay away from the narcissistic community, blogs, etc. since embarking on my healing journey 5 years ago, but the title of this one caught my attention. I was with a woman who I believe qualifies for this title, and she was the most extreme example of hatefulness that I have come across in another human being. Very sad.
As difficult as living with a narcissist is, divorcing one is 100 times worse.
I'm finding that out the last few days I'm feeling humility as they think I played all my cards. Little does this person know what's coming. I'm a free bird being away from the toxic soup. 😮😮😊😊
@@matilda1505 You know it!!!!
Always wise advice Dr. C. Thank you so much.
Make no mistake: whether a parent or partner, malignant narcissists are out to destroy YOU
Not just confined to parents or partners, the malignant narcissists exist in any possible social dynamic: workplace, friendships, family members, acquaintances, roommates, neighbors, etc, etc. etc.!
@rich3578 You got that right !
My ex is a dark tetrad. It's malignant narcissism, sadism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism all wrapped in one evil package. I would not be surprised if there were bodies buried somewhere.
In a rare bout of honesty when I asked him why was he like this, he told me it was all he had ever known.
I truly think he was born that way. My sister was born the way she is....
Their discard phase has a sadism that has a pleasure of making you the loser.
Life is not about fairness but about coping with the balance of the situations. They believe their damage is unfair and project it with a warped sense of justice.
@@rossanderson5243 it's interesting watching THEM be discarded by others.
My narcissist is like a malignant Cancer!
Why do you claim him as yours then ?
On point 🎯 .
Narcissists don't know other narcissists are narcisstic, they call them "friends" ...
Dr Carter, I wish you would do an installment about how a malignant narcissist differs from a sociopath/psychopath.
He did.
Dr C, I have all the "spoilers" 😁
[ _well, nothing to laugh at all, indeed_ 😔 ]
because I have your
webinar Decoding Darkness, here with me.
Still, even if now it's a very clear situation,
all new videos you do on this topic are a very important support
for me.
Thank you so much 💚
This will definitely be an abbreviated version!!!
@SurvivingNarcissism
Great, dr C 🙂
Much appreciated
and very crucial for all people like me dealing with complex trauma...
Meaning we need ongoing reminders and simple frames, daily work, to stay focused on the basics, beyond the fog and the confusion.
Different approaches, different methods (mind-body & viceversa)
plus repeated healthy & easy messages are helping me a lot.
I don’t comment often, but I’m so grateful I found your channel. ❤
@@lishmahlishmah- I agree Dr. C is very helpful, and in a way that can quell some anxieties, and fear- avoidances.
@@sv-yh3mq
Deb Dana (a great developer of Stephen Porges polyvagal theory) has a specific term for that:
glimmers. Meaning, wounded people can find _glimmers_ in different ways and places.
Glimmers supporting our healing
The best revenge is to be unlike the narcissist!
You know what they are.
Good thing I wasn’t wrong and I was correct all along since a year ago
Is it the intense desire to do as their father does? Kill , steal, and destroy while masquerading as an angel of light.
Responding to @dakoderii: I wholeheartedly agree w/you! Their (the covert ones) work and impact is so insidious, that you become an isolated victim (while THEY pretend to be victim--and try making you the villain thru smear campaigns/triangularing/etc.). That's b/c of your fear of not being BELIEVED (--which, in fact, you probably WON'T be, b/c they're so publically, GOOD). Then too, there's the embarrassment & humiliation of having been entangled w/such a one--esp. if in it for a long time! (People wonder WHY/HOW you COULD'VE stayed in THAT for so long???--something that YOU too, may have questioned--and are finally [hopefully], finding some answers for!) Since others don't see or know (nor question--just assume stuff) about "that side" of them or what they DO (as they portray themselves as an "angel of light"), none are the wiser about them. Only you (their victim) and God really KNOW the TRUTH about them! May GOD help ALL victims, WHOMEVER they be--waay MORE than you know about!
@@GarnettHairston-nf9by..sounds like you know very well how these creatures play their game . 🫂 Sorry that any of us have to know that kind of evil .
I still have a toxic mother and sister malignant narcissists. I am being more careful around them till I go no contact with them.
Interesting to hear your views on narcissists from the perspectives of your chaplain father and forensic psychologist brother, Dr Carter.
I am sure it's true that some people are bad. But if you look into the backgrounds of people in prison, most have had a horrific upbringing.
Also there are many miscarriages of justice not only in America but everywhere. Where the death penalty exists, these miscarriages are irreversible. This is also evil, and narcissistic.
I believe this describes my mother to a T. She was always too faced and nice to the outside world and mean to our family at home. I have been no contact with her for a few years now and it was the best decision I ever made. She is deeply flawed and I don’t have any faith she will change.
10:50 Very Strong message. defend yourself behaviorally fully. Verbally minimally. Silence speaks louder.
But remember they'll mimic your silence back on you. Be on guard. They don't forget to take revenge.
I was born in a Malignant Narc Family. 8 Malignant narcs out of 11. Suffered every narc trait since childhood.
I stone walled them. Thanks God i am born a Leo { Lion}. Dragon in Chinese . and Crocodile in Indian Horoscope.
I never succumbed .Always fought back and F_____ them all up. They missing me.
I work for an Int. Airline. I made them my Flt. Beneficiaries. They thought The Airline gave it to them and that's it.
They didn't know i could remove them myself .
Aww Gus!! Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving!
My last bf is a malignant narcissist. While I’ve had exposure to many narcs, that one really darkened the way I view the world now. I didn’t recognize the constant smirk on his face for what it was. I thought he was socially awkward and just didn’t know how to apologise for bad behaviors. I took a lot of time gently explaining how healthy individuals behave. Anytime he would approach me for a hug or general intimacy he would physically harm me with that stupid smirk on his face the whole time. I remember speaking to my therapist and pondering that he must not know his own strength. My therapist thought he was autistic. It angered me when he’d say that because the bf openly expressed his sick, twisted beliefs to me so I knew his words and actions were a choice. When he began blaming me for physically hurting me is when it fully clicked in my head. And I realized it was a smirk on his face, not an uncomfortableness with himself not knowing how to apologise. He enjoyed hurting me! WTF. It took many months on my end to keep a distance from him so he couldn’t harm me while also appearing normal but boring, thus no supply for him. Eventually he made the decision to move out (obviously while being a giant manchild) and I was beyond thrilled. I knew I would be safe if he thought he was discarding me and it worked. I knew my life was in danger and slowly implementing a strategy for him to leave on his own was mentally exhausting but it had to be done, especially while he had amassed a large collection of guns in just one year. I know I wouldn’t be here today if I had allowed him to stay.
One odd behavior he had was forcing an agenda that he would never have done otherwise. If he wanted to do something involving me or my property nothing was going to stop him, no matter how stupid, dangerous, or illegal it was, all because I’d disagree with him. Once he bought hundreds of dollars of illegal fireworks and was trying to decide where to light them. My home was in a quiet neighborhood and I said no. Quickly he decided we’d go to a canyon rim in the desert and he’d light them there. That’s highly illegal and could easily start a fire. He would never do something like that but because he was trying to assert his authority over me all logical reasoning ceased to exist. I managed that situation by taking him over to my friends house where, with the happiness of a 5 year old, he lit every firework off in a few minutes in broad daylight. The next year I rented a yurt in the forest so no firework ideas could even happen. Another time I had adopted a 12 pound dog and he immediately insisted we go to his parents house to show his mom. He didn’t like his mom so I knew this was something else. This was a show of dominance and had nothing to do with his mom but rather forcing me to go or he’d take the dog without my consent. They had two pit bulls that had killed other animals before. Recognizing he would take the dog regardless, and only because I said no, I went and held the dog out of reach the whole time so she would be safe. They didn’t get her but she bit one in the face when he got too close. I only stayed 10 minutes. Those are just two examples. I don’t think that would fall under the “weaponized incompetence” category. I wonder what that behavior is called and the reasoning behind it, other than asserting dominance.
Malignant narcs are pure evil, there is no goodness inside of them.
I cannot image how nerve racking this must have been for you, constantly gently trying to steer away from foolish actions.
As a kid, we had one such adult around, who "loved playing with children". As a kid, he would always shake your hand with too much force (so it hurt) & refuse to release it. Or throw the ball, so you could not reach it (he could aim perfectly well, not accidental). Or offer you a toy, and then refuse to release it, so you had a tug-of-war starting. Many more similar examples... All the time. A lot of adults were fooled "he was so nice to children", so as a kid you couldnt really say much. The smirk was plastered on his face all the time while he did this + staring you point blank in the eye in a very forceful way. I just tried to stay clear as much as possible whenever he was around. How sick and twisted must you be as an adult to get your domination kicks from secretly domineering random small children ?
That’s repulsive. What a sick person. I think one of the things that angers me the most is when these evil individuals prey on people who are innocent and vulnerable, like children, the elderly, animals, etc. Just thinking about that makes my blood boil. I wish they’d all move to Mars so we never have to be exposed to their ugly smirks and entitled attitudes.
So glad you managed to have him discard you and leave. My ex has some similarities. I went to therapy for years trying to figure out what was going on. Like you, one said he was autistic. Another said he had avoidant attachment. They gave me the worst advice as a result, adding to the gaslighting. My ex also collected lots of guns.
@@catimonster 😄 i am liking that plan !
... launching the Mars Rocket right now 🚀
👍
For the record 🙂- admin staff and technical team ; btw: thank you 😊 ; again; thank you o
Doctor Les Carter, Ph.D.; btw: thank you 😊; again; thank you 😊
👍🌼🍀💚🌿🌼☘️🍀🌴🌳🌲🌳🌴🍏🥝🥝🌼🌿
Right on for me. Funny how you hear what you need to hear when you hear it. Thank you Les.
I fled yesterday, pouring rain. Drove for a long time. Today I feel hollow, numb, what now. He poked me in my injured back, then said he never touched me. He has a horrible temper. He is called spock now I know why.
You deserve so much better.
@@AngelEyes-xm7el God help you 🙏 Please take care ❤️🫂
@ thank you holding my faith, God made it possible for myself and dog to leave. Thankful my daughter said I could come to there house. I feel not right emotionally, mentally. Like I am floating in limbo. Maybe this is normal. I don't know. I am a bit disabled. But I feel free like an animal that has been let out of a cage and observing the area. Very cautious , One step at a time
@AngelEyes-xm7el It's early days and things are raw. The healing starts here ✨️ 🙏💕 Give yourself time and a huge pat on the back 🥰
Thank you. Perfect and timely reminder; the “hellidays” are upon us (them), but I ... will be safely and serenely established elsewhere.
I had years' long legal battles with one such. I simply could not persuade my lawyers that the narc would never ever show insight, commonsense and responsibility. He was far too determined to take me down with him. The lawyers, thousands of dollars later, had to concede he was quite insane. Explanations such as yours would have been so useful...
I remember a girl in Church daycare - her parents and siblings were nice, kind - from a toddler, she was the devil. When her parents spanked her, she laughed- actually laughed in their face. It was unnerving.
Spot on. Forced interactions are another common proclivity. If you can't get away keep the coffee intake low. It just makes you more reactive and puts you on an emotional roller coaster. Knowing what they are lessens the impact tremendously. That's why videos like these are so important. The blow you don't expect lands the hardest.
Two people of my acquaintance once got into a heated, escalating exchange over who had the worse temper - they weren't accusing each other but actively competing for the title like it was something to be won.
Hello, Gus! Keep taking care of the Carter family!
This was pure gold DR Le's, Thank you so much for this, You're a great bloke, I have experience with this, Peace, love and respect to you, Gus and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory power praise and smiles to the most high :-) :-) :-)
Thank-you, Dr. Carter.
"They take pride in being fearless and cold-hearted." And, yes, she was like this as a child. I've heard the stories; some even from her own mouth. about how belligerent she was and how she hated her brother. There are childhood pictures of her scowling at him. My poor grandmother, in desperation, once tied her to a tree. This is THE ONE characteristic that I can admit to her having. But, somehow I'm struggling to "see" her as a narcissist. (Is it still possible to think there may have been SOME good there? She didn't kill us.)
The "Malignant " Variety of Narcissism is Cruelty Based
OUCH! EVERYDAY?
The devil does walk amongst us and this is who they are
I never encountered them until 2020 on FB. Exposing him for what he did attracted more online narcs.
This includes Sam Vaknin who stalks my media posts daily to try and label me and post his daily videos to indirectly label me as BPD.
TY
Thank you
They're meaner, if that were possible.
I thought my ex was a covert narc, but everything you say about malignant narcs fits.
I wish they'd stop calling them narcissists, instead they should called ego-maniacs.
Semantics.
@@elcee7800 Maybe. To me, it's stronger and, honestly, more insulting. It was an appropriate term when it first started, but today, because of social media, anyone who draws attention to themselves are labeled narcissistic. But it goes way beyond drawing attention to oneself. Ego-mania is what drives them. They are sick bastards, with a sick agenda. The focus should be on that.
Thank you again dr C for all the helpful perspectives you give us.
For you and all Team Healthy... Also for anyone observing this group of narcissists.
Following the possible trail of "nature", I have been asking this question (on my own, by myself) for some time.
Topic Malignant Narcissists - Sociop and so on. > From a physiological point of view, are there any studies with the purpose of demonstrating other types of insensitivity (in addition to the emotional insensitivity)?
Meaning,
in my case, over the years, as a normal daughter toward her parents, I have (softly and gently) told my mother several times to ask the family doctor for a visit or a check-up on the physical thermoregulatory centers ( > I don't know the medical term in English).
This is a fact, visible by anyone, but she always minimizes the situation, my mother is insensitive to the cold temperatures... and here in northern Italy we often have freezing cold, in autumn - winter - spring.
She has always replied (with a good amount of contempt towards others) that, in her life, she had to work hard and learn to deal with the cold.
(in reality she has always worked in well-heated professional environments. That's to say, in the few years of job outside her home, she has never worked facing cold weather. This was just another of her lies).
Instead, she has always made the whole family suffer from cold in the house, both us children and her enabler husband who also shivers from the cold (not only out of fear) because in her mind the abnormal and weak ones are all the other people.
The point is,
are there scientific data about this physical condition in malignant narcissists and sociopath?
By the way, in the summer she needs a lot of air conditioning, of course.
@lishmahlishmah The silver lining is that Team Healthy has comfort in each other ❤️
My problem with the idea of the 'narcissism is on a scale' is that many things narcissists do aren't on a scale. Normal people don't wake up one morning and think 'You know what? Today I'm going to make one of my children the golden child who can do nothing wrong and the other child the black sheep who can do nothing right. That's what narcissist do and that type of behavior isn't on a scale.
Normal for them.
I wonder if narcissists have that much self awareness or insight. I think they just wake up feeling mean and out of control and they do what they do trying to be in control.
@@pamelamoore6239 All narcissists seem to operate on the same playbook.
They have no soul.
Mom! There's a name for you!
They have limitless energy for their false causes. Just evil at heart....
Wow. I didn't dodge a bullet. I dodged a nuclear warhead. Narcky boy started devaluing me big time. I walked because this wasn't my first rodeo. Divorce is final!❤ Oh. And I left the state. Went home. And it's a place he's scared of. Rural, cold, tundra. Narcky boy likes lots of people and cities. He also doesn't like the fact that we believe in the 2A. For some reason.😂
I didn't know anything about narcs when I left. I just felt that he was dangerous. Guess I wasn't wrong.
My dad was a city slicker who hated that I grew up in the country and learned to work with my hands from my grandfather. I can't stand living in the city anymore. People are arrogant and think they know everything but their lack of basic knowledge is astounding. Dunning-Kruger in full effect in the cities. They fake it till they never make it then find someone to vindictively target. My dad was one of the worst I've ever run across.
@dakoderii4221 city people think they're so tough until you actually take them to the country. Then they cry like a baby. He thought there was wild animals everywhere 🤣
narcy boy!! hahaha love that 🤣
How does a malignant narcissist mother treat her baby?
Hi. I would say that many of us adult children can say that we are lucky to be alive.
Just an example. As adults we had to learn to recognize and treat so many (even very simple) physical pathologies, neglected for decades by the narcissistic mother, who mainly cared about herself.
I really believe that many children of malignant narcissists died at a young age, especially due to neglectful behavior. (Sometimes also due to deliberate sadistic behavior... Meaning that the malignant narc is not exactly aware of the consequences on a young child).
Just one example, this is just a "soft" example, in my case: I learned the hard way, totally on my own, at a very young age, what an allergy or a food intolerance is. So, I stayed away from certain foods, even if it meant going fasting. For my mother it was a whim.
As an adult, doctors confirmed my serious food intolerances. Anyway, I mean, even without a medical test, a normal mother is able to see if her child always vomits or has severe diarrhea just after eating diary products.
This is only one of many examples from my personal experience. There is another one in the other comment of mine, written a few minutes ago, about the environment in our house during the cold climate.
Other more devastating examples, I'm not able to write them down yet... because they are too triggering for me. I'm on my recovery path.
It’s just about struggling to survive then leave forever but thriving is difficult
My sib was adopted as an infant. Newborn. I can still remember being around 3yrs standing at the stove watching the pan of boiling water with bottle nipples n attachment while holding a pr of tongs waiting for the timer so i could put them on a dry towel. I stood on chairs so much. I get weepy if i consider my childhood too long. I will keep this relatively short. My sib as the story goes... wwas left on the beach as a baby. I figure in Spring. Sib was also left at the tennis court. Wonder why baby was forgotten there? Sib was likely about 5 or 7 mo old. Mommie dearest thought these events were funny and it bcame sickning to hear her carry on like silly me. She was half lit at the beach. We played while she got lit. Then drove whichever way home was best for her condition. About 15 yrs ago i started asking questions again. How many kids were actually there? She had said lots. 2 little boys n their mom who wasn't nuts. Finally after listening to her try n hawhaw me i calmly stated... you Do know that in this day n age that's considered child neglect?. No more hawhaw stories. She used to scare me as a little kid on the rocketoplane and yell at me for being terrified. Ppl lookt at her when we left n i think it was once but memories of rides was so bad my kids hardly ever got to do the midway. Unless i didn't have to ride along. Times had seriously changed when I had kids n i vowed to break the abuse cycle n read all this child psych stuff which in late 60s was minimal. Child abuse wasn't taken very seriously until about 1975 where i was. Malignant narcissists are very sick sadistic pathological liars i think theh have substance abuse or alchoholic probs. They love public humiliation. Frankly.. from my view after a lifetime of work n cptsd n etc. I would highly recommend that you go NC n as a minor..... i could well understand why the Menendez Brothers did that murder. There's been several ppl on the Abq news that are in prison for murder of parents and I wonder. They were abused n gaslit by relatives who knew about the abuse. It's hell what kids of malignant narcs suffer unless you are picked as protege. My sib is an ocd malignant narc. It runs w females but not males due to gigantic differences in raising and life experiences. Now i just want to die with inner peace and love in my heart. Not violently. Yall be safe n many blessings. ❤
I do believe some of them are inherit it from parents or grandparents. It is impossible that a 4 members of a family all of them behave the exact same way as one of the grandparents was. So I have been told.
Gus sits up, has a bit of a think, decides a snooze is a better bet.
Is it possible for a malignant narcissist to be aware of their own scars, especially those from their development years, and instead of seeing them as opportunities to heal and be better people, they turn them around to justify and assert their need for control and dominance?
Yup. My brother did it. He's well aware of how angry he is with our parents but instead of becoming a better person, he chose contempt. He cannot escape his contempt, does nothing with it and thinks he's been wronged and is entitled to all at the expense of others. He has 0 empathy and 0 emotional intelligence. He doesn't apologize or take any true responsibility for anything. A sad sad individual. Thank God I'm done. He's dead to me.
Dr. You have precisely deciphered these malignant narcos & their " Crazy - making " .
Hello Dr. Les! Thankyou for this explanation. I'm always alone and every one I ever knew and loved EVERYONE!!! Im hurt so badly I now can't function. I have chronic fatigue syndrome now and I can't function anymore. I was wondering if you know how to connect with people like group therapy?
Question: if you see that a younger child has this hard wiring, what is some advice you would give to the parents in parenting him/her? What resources would you recommend to the parents?
Absolutely theyre selfish arrogant and just dam cruel only want what suits them my son is 61 im 80 today not word from him in 18mths because i spoke up apparently i crossed the line 😢
What amazes me is. How they are o.k. being used. I know for their benefit. However, Is it that they are passive when they are being used? When they are successful it gives them all the right to be who they are. Does a heart just pump blood? Or, can our mind and heart be our soul. Meaning when I get a thought. Do I cycle it through what I believe is my soul than my mind? Or my mind first and then through my soul. Please let me know if this is crazy talk?
I keep telling people and trying to inform just enough for the willfully ignorant but they still carry on like la de da we don't care. Hope they like living in the hell their heroes are going to do to this country. This yr i finally figured out that someone who was adopted can be raised by a malignant narcissist and now she is n daughter. Doesn't seem to be dna or actual kinship but i do notice the baby of the family or family royalty seems to be a marker. Many blessings ya'll.
Angry, pessimistic, can't connect, hides things, proud to talk about people who he claims are his friends, nasty quite regularly... yup! I like to classify these types as bullies, babies and incredibly immature. No Thank you.
Is it just me or do others think narcissists are a like drug addicts , they're both beautiful liars???
Isn't a malignant narcissistic person actually a sociopath narcissistic person? Class B narcissistic. 😮
Yes, however, the malignant narcissist is still capable of forming bonds with certain humans--their human supply or puppets that provide usefulness, are subordinate to their control/commands, provide admiration, praise, brown-nosing, validation, approval, free attention, etc. The sociopath is unable to form bonds with humans.
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Heaven forbid you ask them if something's bothering them? Oh sorry I asked. Sorry I care!😞
Sounds very like the soon to be the most powerful person in the world 🤔
Exactly
12:25 This may be a _”dark subject”,_ but I appreciated this more than you know. You described my father to a capital T. He died from Covid complications in January 2022 at the age of ~63. The most difficult part of his dying was mourning over the apology I was never going to get. I would very much like to hear more about this subject; I still have a few wounds to heal. ❤️🩹