Why Do Some Strategies and Tools Not Work for People with ADHD?
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- Опубліковано 4 вер 2024
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There are so many strategies out there and there can be times where it feels like none of them work... why is that? Jessica talks about it in today's video!
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Jessica McCabe is not a licensed mental health provider, but information presented on How to ADHD is reviewed by researchers and approved by licensed clinical psychologist Patrick LaCount, PhD (practicalpsych...). While information presented on How to ADHD has historically been built in consultation with researchers and licensed providers, videos posted prior to April 2023 were not subjected to the same formal approval process required by the UA-cam Health program.
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Try 100+ ways to combat procrastination with The Anti-Planner. 🥳 Get an extra $10 off with code “HOWTOADHD” at anti-planner.com until August 30, 2024!
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Bought this a while back and I love it!!
When are we going to be able to get the anti-planner in the UK?
You mentioned the website which estimates your style of ADHD, strength and weaknessness. Can you post it? Thank you.
I wish there was a PDF version to be purchased (the full version, not the 30 PDF mini bundle) because then I could avoid shipping from the US to the Netherlands and getting scolded for buying more stuff that takes up space while still getting the full planner
So what worked for you as far as what didn't..like the envelope thing? what did you do instead?
It’s funny to me the paradox of requiring executive function to help with your executive function
Yeeeaaahhhhhhh, right? Ohhhhh the irony.
That's mostly because the people that come up with the strategies and are with it enough to spread the knowledge tend to be people that started with a lack of knowledge rather than a lack of ability.
In most cases, the trick with these challenges is finding the right level of precision to get it done without wasting a lot of extra resources. Putting your books in alphabetical order or Dewey Decimal or some other order is probably not going to work if you're not in a library being paid to do so. Fortunately, most people don't need that level of granularity. Knowing that it is a book that goes in that book case somewhere is probably enough. You can label them with a shelf number and then just put it back on that shelf and it's not really any extra effort. But, trying to put it on that shelf in the same place each time is probably not worth the effort and probably not going to work.
Personally, I keep as many things digital as I can because I can organize them once and be done with it. After that, I just need to keep them backed up and run a process to verify that they haven't become corrupted and to restore one if applicable. It's the 21st century, that can be done without any real effort using automated tools.
Right?
Funny..... Or a cruel cruel joke. 🤔🥴🫣😱🤯
Something that has helped me a ton is UA-cam.... Finding those with a mind like mine and what works for them. It gives me a good jumping off point lots of times ... especially if I feel stuck. And even if it stops working for them that is helpful too. 😊
Gonna say the quiet part out loud: people with ADHD like complex organization systems because of the novelty. When the stimulation of the novelty wears off, the punctilious routine is draining.
So true!
yes
The novelty and the fantasy.
Holy moly. That's why... thank you
100%. Changing up my ever-cycling list of strategies is 100% due to the novelty wearing off. I have to come up with SO MANY WAYS to bring my attention to "important to-do" items, etc. Different color-coding, different positions, written lists, electronic lists, electronic alerts, etc etc etc... It's so tiring.
i hate when i finally find a technique that works for me and then literally all of a sudden, random day it doesnt work anymore and its frustrating😭😭😭
Oof yeah I feel that... I have a plethora of techniques I use but I use them in a cycle.... because when my brain gets bored or starts to dislike one I hop to another strategy in the wings that my brain's willing to work with... and then usually I get right back to the strategy they didn't work weeks (or a couple months) later and it works again. It's.... definitely super frustrating to have to adjust... or even find a new strategy tho for sure.
@@HowtoADHD It's something we, and those with similar strategies for a variety of challenges, need to give ourselves CREDIT FOR. Doing this takes TIME to recognize, acknowledge, adjust, adapt, and THEN we're functioning smoothly (for US) again. The time and "spoons" this takes is often PHENOMENAL, and we must give ourselves credit for it because society at large does NOT.
We manage to juggle so much, just to function within "normal needs"
Thanks for helping us all! 😅
@@HowtoADHD oh my gosh same!! also tysm u have no idea how much u have helped me, your channel, your book, literally tysm
Worse if you have neurotypicals dismissing you by telling how their strategies never fail
@@revimfadli4666 oh my god yeah😭 or giving u useless advice like "have u tried working harder?:
"I was simultaneously bored AND panicked?!" The contradictions of ADHD!
RIGHT?! For real.
I don't have ADHD but experienced this as well lololol
This is how I feel a lot
Yes! I have never gotten through a body scan relaxation technique on my own. Completely distracted after the first few muscle areas.
Me: ok brain, let’s get organized
Autism: *spends hours hyperfocusing on developing an elaborate system of charts and graphics to manage everything down to the smallest detail, then collapses*
ADHD, a week later: *squints* …dude what even is any of this??
It me it me 😅
So you have Autism and ADHD? You have both?
Real.
I can relate.
Yep. And any project I design....
And even the stuff specifically for ADHD doesn't take into account comorbidites, like ASD, GAD, Depression, etc. Neurodivergence isn't just a spectrum, it's a kaleidoscopic smorgasbord. 😅
Yep, when I got my ADHD/OCD dual diagnosis years ago it was considered somewhat novel as only a few years earlier it was assumed to be impossible due to them being more or less opposite situations. But, it turns out that people can do two things and one of the best things I learned was that if it's an ADHD thing, an OCD thing or an ASD thing can dictate how to approach it as they aren't all driven by the same thing even though it can look like the same thing from the outside.
I just got my diagnosis last month, and I'm 41. I've had GAD since my teens, had adolescent clinical depression, and I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia (chronic pain/fatigue, brain fog) at 25.
Fibromyalgia syndrome (aka FMS) is a big one, there are multiple studies that show ADHD to be more prevalent in people with FMS (ranging from about 25%-45%, vs
@kellymaple4513 yep! So that's why we have to adapt the ideas. This channel has helped me see ways to use the parts that work for me. I'm an artist, and most of the typical "workplace" suggestions don't fit. Just learning about how neurodivergent brains work has been a gift!
Yes and then ADHD and Dyscalculia together and then GAD as a later addition due to first job trauma. Not a fun set! And then ADHD causing issues at current job, hoo boy, what fun times, Not!
@joycependleton4117 ALSO an artist. Also, don't fit into regular "molds" !
Also, can we normalize doing ART for yourself, & occasionally selling a piece !? The "General Public" has no freaking clue, will NEVER buy
sculpture, and suggest I work in 'Bronze'. AS IF ! LOL ! LOAN me 10 grand for the Bronze, Mister !
It ain't easy making life size animal sculpture when you aren't "connected", & the internet is a CESSPOOL of AI & stolen images !
I've almost given up !
One frustrating thing for me is that after I get used to a system and have everything figured out and set up to work well with my brain - I get bored of it. I find this equal parts irritating and amusing.
Yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh. That's so true. I have interchangable strategies for this reason, personally. If one strat doesn't work because I'm bored of it, I usually have another one I can try. If one tool doesn't work then maybe another will! Hopefully! Maybe! Potentially!
What are the various systems that you cycle through?
I’ve used Bullet Journals (plain/ basic/ simple versions, no cricut needed), Habitica and the Finch app. I’ve now got Dani’s Anti-Planner.
@@mariezguitar5029 I was just checkin out Habitica (as both myself and my daughter have ADD and ADHD. My daughter also has GAD with some separation anxiety in there too). My daughter is a bit more of a gamer then myself. So looking at this app, I think it may help her out. As I have tried to make games out of most everything.... but as we know its hard to stay on point most days. haha
6:28 "I had to make the natural assumption something is wrong with me, like I'm broken somehow."
oof, this one is unfortunately a lot easier to learn than to unlearn
Yeaaahhhh it takes time to undo it for sure
That struck a cord with me: "why cant i just X, everybody alse can, it should be easy" im a master at that
@@briankristensen7847 What's really bad is when you spend your entire life being asked that by your own family. "You're intelligent, why can't you do ______?" or "It's easy, you're just making excuses/harder than it needs to be." And then later when you're trying to explain something to them about something they don't know about but you understand perfectly in a way they can't understand, "you're crazy/wrong, you don't know what you're talking about."
I used to forget my keys often. I had gotten locked out of my apartment multiple times. We had a bowl by the door, but sometimes I just, would forget to grab the keys if it was a quick trip and wasn't locking the door. However, I need the key fob to get into the apartment building.
Now, I have a key hook on the door right above the handle. Point of performance baby! I'm usually good about putting my key on the hook, but if it isn't there, I see the empty hook and it's a visible reminder about my key and I'll start looking for them. Since we implemented this strategy (lovely NT husband thought of it) I have not once left the apartment without my keys.
I immediately put my keys in my bag after unlocking the door / letting myself in....I don't go anywhere without that bag, so it has my keys, phone, wallet with credit card etc, pens, glasses, etc etc. The only time I forget any of those things is like if charging my phone and forget to take it, so even with that, now I put the bag under the charging phone so can't forget it.
My husband told me to put my keys on a caribeener and clip them to the handle of my purse/backpack. Absolute game changer!
I used to be real smug about any "try this" thing when it was advised because I would jump to negative predictions. About 2 years ago I adopted an approach whenever I needed to introduce a new strategy, system, tool, lifestyle change, self care/self improvement thing, etc. where I told myself not only to give things a "try," but give them a "big try." Big try meant to me that the Thing was like a school project, and I was great at pulling off school projects. Especially last minute. I've had great results and my overall well being has improved ever since. I wonder if thinking of different types of "try" helped me have a launch point and visual of what is more and what is less so I could have a better understanding of how to execute. Of course there's a competitive aspect too which can motivating, and there's novelty by approaching the Thing slightly differently than you had before.
In college, I wore my keys around my neck like a necklace like a nerd because keeping them literally on my body was the only way to not get locked out
I lock the door and leave my keys in the door. On the inside.
I don't think there's enough discussion about ADHDers need for control. One commonality I see across the board is our need for autonomy. We can be really stubborn when it comes to anything we've moved into our circle of control.
It comes to mind when you described how your mind allowed you to experience a type of therapy, only when you found a perspective that came from you.
I think that's really common. I can't think of anyone I know with ADHD, including myself, who hasn't had that exact experience in connection to something.
I would love a video about that! Or any thoughts people have on this!
@@celinaskywalker4770 Here's another thought on this.. I strongly relate to Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies, particularly Rebel, we do things because they fit our identity not because someone else (or even ourselves) created an expectation; unless perhaps it's an anti-psyche move of 'You say I can't do this, well, I'll prove you wrong!'.
Absolutely! you just described one of my core issues. And not anyone has being so on point about the control freak inside of us even in the way we do therapy lol thought I was alone in this one 😅
If it is a control within ourselves, WHO CARES. We are trying to make our world safer and easier and productive so we can live with less depression. We are not trying to control other people or things just ourselves, which is what EVERY human should be doing.
@@Brownmahfun Another word for control within ourselves is stubborn. The reason why it matters is that it's a really sharp double edged sword. It's worthwhile to understand it better and develop tools to control it because nobody else can help us if it manifests in a toxic way.
The fact that we don't focus externally is a talking point to justify doing it to ourselves. I'm not saying we can change who we are, but I am saying that if it leads to self destructive actions, how much control do we really have?
The only organisational system that worked 100% of time for me was the basement storage room in Minecraft that had a very long hall of chests with a picture of the item category in a frame above it. Sometimes that was one box for "crafts made out of wood" and sometimes it was two boxes for carrots. If I needed to, I could just dig more and add more chests. I could always find everything. Never left anything out, always put it where it belonged. Too bad I can't do that in real life.
You kind of can, it would just be very expensive and you would get weird looks from the builders 😂
This is literally how I organise my pantry. Working on making it happen for my closet too.
Oh my god you’ve unlocked a memory lol i cant have anything clean but i was taking comissions for minecraft chest orginisation 😭 everything in my chests were so orginised…aw
I started reading your comment and got so excited because I thought you found a way to apply this IRL. Can relate
We organise our storage room in a similar way, but we use see through plastic boxes on shelves. One box for tools, one box for baking utensils, one box for Christmas decorations, one box for board games, one for hiking gear... So when I need something I take the whole box into our apartment to look for it.
Most of the boxes are very chaotic inside, but that doesn't matter because the chaos is contained.
And sometimes, I take a random box and sort it through.
I don’t think I ever seen this specific sub-topic, but I would love to see a video summarizing “transition tools.” Different things to help switching activities short of urgent panic.
Trying different things to see what works is great, but if you’ve never heard of something, you don’t now to try it.
Yes, would love a video about making transitions easier!
Oh man I need this
Omg please! I can't tell you how many times over the years I've stayed late at the office or made it home and just sat in my car because the task switching was just too much.
Doing things is easy! It’s starting and stopping doing things that is difficult.
Agreed- music/something in the background often makes starting easier for me, plus timers that I only snooze never dismiss until the new thing is started. Doing the literal first step that doesn't feel like a step like opening my laptop too. And having everything I need already open on said laptop for things I do often/ongoing projects. It's close to the getting started/getting past task paralysis videos but a bit more general.
"Batteries not included, ADHD friendliness not included" best, clearest idea of how to handle something that has some benefits but may need tweaking/adapting for us to find/use those benefits. This is one of your best videos, thank you so much for sharing!
I loved this comparison too
I bought a sketch book, and made calendar pages the way I wanted them, and the rest of the book is my "external brain." Thoughts, ideas, and anything I know I will forget if I don't write it. It is a sketch book so that I can write any way I want, no lines. I write tasks, circle them, and color them in when done. The colorful pages are satisfying, and I like to turn it into neurographic art, which is also therapeutic.
I’ve seen were people draw something and color in when a task is done and that’s so cool.
For people who like Jessica (and like me) couldn't handle smart watches for sensory reasons, there are straps that look and feel like scrunchies and those were a GAME CHANGER. gotta clean or swap them regularly because they get gross but I always had a scrunchies on my wrist before and it doesn't tug or hurt the way those awful silicone bands do
I ended up replacing my silicone band with a leather one and have not had issues with it since.
I got an elastic one and it's now comfy but also even easier to take off and I still find myself doing that from time to time but I always leave it in the same places. Also once I remove it to charge it's like a week before I remember to put it back on 😂
That's one option. If you wear jeans, you can also keep it in that small watch pocket with a short lanyard, so you can pop it out to look at and then return it to the pocket, or not. If you don't, then the thing just dangles there until you get annoyed enough to put it away.
@SmallSpoonBrigade so a pocket watch? Good adaptation 🤔
I upgraded to a metallic band which I find more comfortable as it adapts to body temperature and flexes different than the band it comes with.
Speaking of time and how it works ... One really simple thing that has made a big difference for me is having my watch vibrate twice on the hour and once on the half hour.
Just a physical reminder of the passing of time helps me stay on track.
This is me but with phone alarms
Yeah, I have an app on my phone that makes a sound every hour and it has been so helpful and also made me realise how much of a problem I have with estimating time. Like I knew it was a struggle but I never actually realised how bad it was.
@@sarahj6795app name?
My watch automatically vibrates as a reminder for movement after sitting for too long 🤔 But unfortunately even this doesn't get my attention anymore 🙈
@@PaintedKYeah, me too. I notice it going off maybe three times a day.
My mom was/is always big on “planners” and is still insisting “Yes! This will help!” When I know for a fact I’ll forget. It’s far harder to remember three things instead of one. Explanation: I have to remember to write in the planner, I have to remember I wrote in the planner, and I have to remember to look in the planner. It’s easier for me to just mentally comb through and review each of my classes.
She also tells me to use calendars and lists, and honestly I’m not confident in those solutions either.
I think one of the worst things that’s happened to me in school because of ADHD is when I forgot to 7 of my homework assignments, and I never got around to doing them until the day before the final and I’m like “AAAAAAA NO”
And one time in that class I actually remembered to do the homework assignment on time and I did and I came to school and was so proud of myself, only to find I’d done an entirely different assignment, meaning I didn’t actually do the assignment even though I did the work. I was so frustrated.
I am a father of a 16 year girl who after a recent trama, ADHD and anxiety has become a major part of our lives. I send your videos to my daughter when they come out. She says they do not help her but I will continue to send them hoping she will find a tip here or there that she can incorporate into her life. I watch them because it helps me understand what she goes through and has changed the way I interact with her on a daily basis. FYI I know they are helping her because I have been noticing some differences in how she is organizing her day and dealing with challenges. I’m glad I came across your channel. Much love.
Good for you dad! I do the same for my daughter but she refuses to even look at them. We can't give up on them
Aww you sound like a great dad.
Bullet journals overwhelm me, so I went back to the individual notebooks for each "thing": I teach, so one for each class. I do research, so one for each project. I do "service" so one for the service, but then with sections. I also have other notebooks for other personal "things". When everything was all together, including things of personal interest, it was just simply overwhelming.
Then I also have a paper calendar (daily planner that I use more as a "diary" or what I've done), a little paper calendar that goes in my purse and only has my medical appointments (I can add them in while at the doctors so I don't forget and with only them there can see them very quickly), and an electronic calendar...that may be too much for some people, but for me it is the right amount. Keeping things more separated even in calendars is better than everything jumbled together...too overwhelming.
My "to do lists" are in pretty blank "journals" so I want to use them. Color and visually appealing are very important for me. As is texture and feel of books, notebooks, etc.
It's awesome you found what works for you!!
I tried bullet journal collections style for brain dumping and flipping around to find the next page of each topic was so frustrating. I went with a discbound system so I could move pages around and keep subjects together and it helped me SO much
I like the way happy planners allow you to rearrange things. I like bullet journaling but not drawing calendars every month.
Also hate rewriting my to do list, so I put it on a large lined sticky so I can just migrate the whole list until it has too many crossed off things, or I need to add more things than fit.
Phone alarms with alarm name labels + the alarm name read aloud have been a game changer, ie "take x medication it's 10am" aloud also reminds me of the time.
I've also made myself a rule that if it's something that takes less than a minute to do, I let the alarm ring until I've done it (like taking meds) coz if I dismiss it, I'll forget. It gives me a little game to rush to get it done! I also set multiple alarm tones so I don't get sick of them. I also set transition alarms in sync with my time blocks on my google calendar as I tend to dismiss Google calendar reminders sometimes if I'm in hyperfocus.
which phone do you have & how do you get it to read the alarm name out loud? would love to try this!
For longer tasks you can “snooze” and it will go off again in a set time to re remind you lol
When I schedule something in my phone, I set it early then in notes I put the rest so…
9:30 appointment (alarm)
Notes: be ready to leave by 9 to arrive by 9:30
Their MIGHT be an earlier alarm like
8:00 Get Ready (alarm)
Notes: get ready for appointment, must be completely ready to leave by 8:50
(Also… always a little extra room built in depending on the event, 5 min or even an hour. Like if it’s beach day if I want to leave by noon, I aim to be ready by 10 or 11. And build everything around that)
@@ultravioletpisces3666❤
Phone alarms are the only way I get anything done! I love being able to label them. I need to read the labels, which took a bit of time to get in the habit. But it works! Except for when I occasionally forget to turn alarms off during shows…
Ive done a LOT of therapy and pretty much anything cognitive based sat somewhere between unhelpful and made-things-worse. CBT, DBT, ACT, anything that requires me to be aware of my thoughts and either respond to them or accept them was impossible because they're so. Damn. Fast. Like, "ooh, imagine your thoughts are like leaves floating on the surface of your mind" when my thoughts are speed boats.
I figured out that writing can slow them down, so I started an altered form of journalling where I use every second line to free-write. No thinking about what I'm writing, no creating a narrative, just writing everything that comes to mind until I have nothing new. Then I go back with a different pen and use the skipped lines to "edit" the thoughts, make notes, and write responses. It helps to slow the thought, get myself out of emotion-mind and i can practice those therapy skills. Plus if I've got a written record my brain is more likely to accept that I've already gone over this topic.
There's a lot of evidence that journaling helps a lot of people, i love your modifications to these strategies. Very cool
I have had the same problem with meditation. Imagining my thoughts as puffy pink clouds that float away will not work. Im going to get distracted. Im going to go off on a line of vaguely connected thoughts until I remember that Im supposed to be letting go of my thoughts. What does help for me is taking a walk where I dont have to think about any particular thing and can instead let my thoughts go wherever they want. It helps me relax and allows me to focus afterward much more than meditation does.
When you said progressive muscle relaxation I had a visceral shudder-I HATE it for the same reasons you’ve said, as well as issues with the associated sensory overload. Nothing makes me more aware of how acutely uncomfortable a specific part of my body is. Makes me want to crawl out of my skin, but I can’t, cause I’m stuck doing a goddamn meditation 😂 Never heard of anyone else having that same experience with progressive muscle relaxation, and it’s surprisingly comforting to hear.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I also had a visceral shudder and HATE it. It made me sooooo uncomfortable, the creepy crawlies just like she said. My old job would occasionally have us do it in staff meetings and it was the literal worst. Eventually, no one made me participate (as this happened for more than one year on a nearly monthly basis) because I was always so b*tchy afterwards. I just did other quiet work during it and was much happier.
So you are definitely not alone!
I just started reading your book and WOW I feel so seen. So many ADHD “resources” over the years had me questioning my own diagnosis (diagnosed 4x) because they never discussed the things I personally struggled with and within a few pages, you’ve knocked everything I deal with, out of the park. Jessica you have helped and continue to help millions to billions of people and I just wanted to say Thank you for being our voice! I don’t feel so alone anymore. 😊❤
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porassss
I think I came across this channel when I was being tested for ADHD -- at age 65! -- and was looking for an insider's view of the condition. Even though my assessment said that I didn't have ADHD, I've found How to ADHD a wonderful resource for understanding myself a bit more compassionately. That said . . . . About tools.
One thing I learned in the course of classwork for a PhD in Sociology -- which I didn't complete (Thanks, narcolepsy! Thanks a lot!) -- is that most of the time, we adapt tools to our needs rather than adapting ourselves to our tools. I had an independent study in which I traced the development of electronic digital computers from monstrous devices the size of a house to things like the MacBook Air I'm using right now. Had it not been for people adapting their computers and software to what they wanted computers for -- rather than accepting the "intended" use right out of the box -- we wouldn't have these things today. Of course, I found myself a lot less distracted when I did everything with pencil and paper, but
Squirrel!
Oh, right. I'm still trying out different ways of using this tool. And if we ONLY allowed ourselves to use tools the way the folks who created them intended, we'd probably still be arguing over the "right" way to make a fire!
On a more personal note, I'm sorry to hear you struggled over postpartum depression. Along with narcolepsy, I deal with depression and anxiety, so I feel for you and your family. It looks like you're aware enough to have gotten help with that, and I congratulate you for having the courage to seek help! There are far too many people who don't get help.
Now, if someone could just point me to the planet where Marvin got to see God's Final Message to His Creation, I'd be much obliged. And I'd be very grateful for a lift . . . .
Now, this...! Here, please accept this "You're my Kind of Person"-badge, as a token of my appreciation for your most exquisite way of expressing yourself...
{Somewhere, up in our night-sky, between the constellations of "Adams" and "Pratchett", shines a star by the name of "@johndemeritt3460". And sometimes, on some indeterminately lucky occasion, it sends a message. Which can be read in a precisely picked location of a formless, amorphous being, called "The Interweb", which freely inhabits most of the spaces in between, on our own little blue blip in space.
"Look, it's here! It sais..."}
Anyways; thank you for being just as you are, as I find it makes your particular "voice" thoroughly enjoyable to read. At least in *my* books.
I am unpacking old boxes of stuff.
People told me to put on A single CD when it ends "ta-da" a box has been unpacked, stuff sorted, and cleared out.
NOPE.
This did not work. BUT ... Now I have a day of the week that is box day. In the morning I open A box and start clearing it at the end of the day that box is done. And I do not look at another box until nex week's box day.
I need a box time block not a little one. So that even when I get side tracked at the end of the day I have done that one box. This aloes me to feel success not failure, so the next time is less stressful.
Something that works great for me, but I'm still developing: cards with my regular to do's in stead of a list!
A list is too much work to use for everyday stuff like cleaning up after me, feeding the rabbits etc.
But I was still trying to track everything in my head and doing everything simultaneously and as fast as I could to free up working memory.
My coach suggested making cards for those tasks so it's less work, I just have to chose the cards for the day and lay them out (or put them on the fridge or something).
But the best thing about this tool is that I can put cards beneath other tasks I will do first. This way it is not too overwhelming, because I only see the relevant tasks for now, and I know that the tasks for later in the day are accounted for, so I don't have to keep them in mind.
I will probably add colours for different categories.
Especially being a mum of two toddlers, things get overwhelming easily.
I like your system ^^
Oh and I've added a card for '+ list' for the non-regular to do's, making it easier to keep track of two systems
One system that I managed to adapt is Pomodoros! I used to try to do the 25-5 split and it was miserable, but I really wanted it to work, so I made my working part shorter and my resting part longer (20-10) and now it works!
Ooh I like this adaptation.
I find that the biggest problem with organizational systems for people with ADHD is that (once the novelty wears off) it requires investing time/resources "now", while any resulting benefit is always in an indeterminate future.
I.e. we have to solve what is the fundamental problem with ADHD, in order to use organizational tools to help with the problem.
Alarms are starting to lose their effectiveness on me. I just ignore them and keep scrolling on my phone 😂
I hate using timers. They always go off when I'm right in the middle of something. Silence the thing and instantly forget about it. Tell it ten minutes and it only becomes a cycle.
At same time I weird out my family because I learned when something is done baking from the smell and it cannot be turned off. 😂
Ive been having trouble getting to bed on time, so I tried setting a bedtime alarm for myself. It worked for a day or two but then I started having exactly that problem. Do you have any suggestions for me?
One time in your video you mentioned how you will cycle through hobbies and that's something you just made peace with. I feel the same way about planning and organizing strategies. I will use google calender for a bit and then it's not useful anymore, so I go back to a paper notebook until I have too few things on my to do list, so I'll switch to my digital work agenda or just doing things from the top of my head, until I get overwhelmed and switch back to google calendar... etc etc.
My tool for on the phone customer service is to ask for agent or operator to bypass the auto mated list that can be confusing. Finally when I get the operator I mention that I have adhd and need them to take their time most often than not they accomodate for that.
I never thought of that! Wl have to try (assuming I remember, sigh).
I also *always* have a notepad/my everything notebook open on calls like that and jot stuff down as we go. It's a good substitute for working memory and I can start the call with notes of what I need to get done there and reminders like "get reference number and/or rep name". Lets me record anything needing follow-up too.
Keys always hang on my carabiner clip. It’s always on my bag, my pants belt loop, or in the vehicle ignition. It only has three keys: vehicle, home, and mailbox keys.
It’s a small piece that is ritualistic for me.
I have one on my bag and don't get out of the car until it's on. Have been told by others I'm too slow getting out.
But I've never locked myself out either
A butter knife is a flat head screwdriver. A flat head screwdriver is a chisel. If it works how you apply it then it is the appropriate tool.
9:11 I related to this section so hard! I always have felt like I need more and more elaborate organization systems to make sure I don't lose stuff.... But then I end up not being able to keep up with said system and everything gets even more disorganized.
Thank god for my phone with a clock.
FOR REAL.
Watches are more helpful on the phone for me too.
I never found wall calendars helpful. I’d hang them in a spot that I didn’t check, or not hang them and they’d get lost under other paperwork! I’ve found a way that works for me! Now I have a cute unicorn one (I allowed myself to spend the money on the calendar I wanted to look at most!), and I’ve hung it on my wall next to my bed! It’s close and facing me at eye level when I’m sitting or laying down, and I it even faces me within touching distance when get out of bed too! I use pretty coloured markers that live on my bedside table next to my calendar so I can easily make changes to the calendar. It’s now super helpful! Yay!
I moved mine out of the kitchen and put in in the living room across from the chair I sit in and I still forget to flip it til the middle of the month
I couldn’t function without it though lol
In terms of keeping track of my keys and wallet, I use a retractable key ring holder that is attached to the inside of my bag. My main problem was forgetting to put them back into my bag, so I literally gave myself a leash as a reminder to put them back in. When I feel the retractable string pull or touch me after I do what I need to with my item, I just put it back into my bag. It’s a little kinda silly thing, but it’s helped me keep track of my stuff in the long run. Love this video! It’s important to adjust or adapt tools for our own ADHD needs ❤
Maintaining organizational systems is my biggest struggle. I need more refined systems, but not so refined that I can't maintain them.
One thing I've been trying is keeping a record of tools that have worked but I got bored of later. I can always come back to them. A person doesn't throw out a hammer when they need to start using a screwdriver. They just move on to the screwdriver (which more often than not needs to be adapted because of different screwdriver bits) and leave the hammer for the relevant project. It does, however, take a lot of skill and practice to recognize what tools can work for a project. It's not as simple as "oh there's a nail I need a hammer" and that's where I struggle a lot with using my organizational and accessibility tools. It's an executive functioning skill to learn or know what tool will work for a project, but I think it's one we can learn, even if learning it takes more time or we aren't great at it.
My parents bought me a watch when I was very young and I always wondered why, when I forgot to put it on, I felt so chaotic and disorganised. I now realise that it has helped me so much throughout my life.
It's interesting you mention the sensitivity issues as I feel there's something wrong if the watch isn't on my wrist!
Yesssss! This is such a good example of how something that works for one person doesn't work for another. It's awesome that it helps you so much!!
Same here I almost feel naked without my watch. Definitely helped with time management and time dismorphia”?”. Also, being dyslexic it help me remember my right for left, by right hand I wear my watch on my left hand. Last, but least when I notice I was still having trouble with reading a watch from my dyslexia, years ago a Disneyland I found a analogue watch with Goofy on it that ran backwards, so basically counter-clockwise and tricked my own dyslexic brain to read a normal analogue clock right.
I have the same thing with a bracelet I wear, if I take it off I instantly feel like something is missing.
It also happens if I'm not wearing my watch outside (I only ever wear my watch outside)
@@princessnanful2751 Me too! I'm dyslexic and I remember my left and right using my bracelet and/or watch.
(My watch is digital as I struggle to read analogue clocks)
I have a watch that takes my blood pressure and records my sleep. I find that I feel like I still am wearing it even when I'm not.
I just wanted to thank you for allowing us to get the shirts in a V-neck option. I don't like regular t-shirts because I feel choked by things too close to my neck. Your Neurodiversity University shirt in purple is now one of the most comfortable shirts in my wardrobe!
I dislike close necklines, too! I often will cut the neck opening larger, make it into a scoop neckline, v, or even a more slouchy off the shoulder thing. Depends on your personal style, but I absolutely relate to not wanting regular t-shirt cut because of the neck! (Also cutting them works with t-shirt fabric fine because it won't fray, so you don't need to sew anything.)
I have always stumbled above the common advice to break tasks down into pieces. I will break it down to pieces, spend an hour of planning and then never do it.... my brain works better with the big chunk. Lets say kitchen cleaning, it's often a big chunk. But I have a masterplan in my head and just starting is enough to get a lot done... sometimes I feel bad that I can't keep it clean like other people apperently do, but hey if it comes to winding up a party I am the star of the room. Dishes, bottles and what not standing around can not intimidate me.😂
I am making progress and solve my problems slowly and thats what counts.
Seeing that broken down list completely overwhelms me!! Now, instead of a list of 5 things it's a list of 20+ things!!! I just can wrap my head around it! I'm gonna try doing the big list and then having that hidden and only q or two things on a list I can see. But I think I'll still know the big list is there and still feel overwhelmed...
Honestly the biggest thing I learned to help me was just accepting that i work in stages: over-organzing, followed by over-correction and under-organizing, to finally landing in a middle ground that I can actually maintain. Once I accepted that as my process and started giving myself grace on the matter, the whole thing went from taking months or years with a lot of beating myself up to taking only weeks or sometimes even just days. Self-forgiveness is a heck of a tool.
This!!!!
Typicals are like “you’ll never get anything done if you’re not organized.” When trying to be organized is often what’s keeping us from getting things done.
Count me out by Kendrick Lamar
Yes... Solutions need tweaked to fit our needs and preferences. Simplifying, making things more visible or less visible or putting things where you use them. Or cutting things out in the harder seasons. Easier meals/ more convenient prep, paper plates, limited wardrobe, limited cleaning products or equipment in kitchen or shampoos or whatever. You can always go back to gourmet cooking when that fits back in to your life. Or add something back to your schedule when it fits in better. I love a wall calendar over a planner. I know that about myself. But I also like a spiral notebook to make lists or brain dump.
I LOVE my brain dump/listing notebook! I can write any ideas that pop into my head and then they don't cycle repetitively through my brain hoping I don't forget them. Now I can just go back to my notebook and find the idea. I keep topic lists/sections so I can find stuff easier
I had the same issue with Google Calendar! it took some time to learn how to navigate it effectively and how to schedule things in a way that worked for me but now that I have, I use it every day. the built in reminder notifications are a lifesaver haha
Oh god yeah... that reminder notification has saved me more than a few times too!
Not a technique per se, but I exercise in my regular clothing. I also have set up my wardrobe so i have outside/workwear and homewear, so I don't gunk up my "important" clothing.
So relatable! I've recently realized that when I suddenly started managing a task better (esp when I was young) was that I ended up with a perfect combination of a the right tool and just enough anxiety to make sure i took the time to use it. 😅
Ex1: In college, if we forgot our dorm key we could be let in by an RA. But they only allowed it 3x before they started charging a $50 fee. So once i had forgotten my keys twice I knew i needed to save my last one incase of an emergency. So i got the longest, brightest lanyard i could find. I still use the same one 15 years later. But I can always spot it! And I also keep a hook next to my front door for it, which works because I don't have a garage entrance into my home, so the keys have to be in my hand when I enter the house and I can immediately put them on the hook. Sometimes I forget, but the bright lanyard is easy to see and then I can put them away.
I failed a lot and at one point even slept onboard trains because I struggled financially and with lots of mental health issues... still am failing a lot and struggling... but the key is to just not give up and try again or differently!
If have been able - despite all my conditions (one of them being ADHD) - to get into Harvard, the World Economic Forum, and to a great startup exit, then I am sure you can achieve your goals too!
So yeah, just don't give up and try again maybe with some modifications to your original plan or with another tool! Life - especially for us with ADHD - is trial and error.
Wow thanks for that. I'd imagine you're a bit older too. A lot of us feel like if we don't make milestones by our twenties (like a lot of us want to go to university), we are failures. This really helps give inspiration.
@@paulstejskal I'm turning 36 in September so yes I'm no longer in my twenties but feel still young.
@@markuswunsch Yeah not old. Just older than say someone normally going to university right after high school.
Its funny you mention using a smart watch to track workouts. I do the same with my Garmin, but I keep forgetting to turn it off when I leave. After I do a spin class, I will drive home, realize its on and then save. Lets just say that I have a record breaking pace for a human riding a bike
LOL oh that's relatable!
My Garmin drives me nuts for the opposite reason - I never remember to "start" a workout, and it has terrible heart rate tracking if you haven't told it you're exercising. So I can sweat through a whole t shirt and still not get any active minutes.
It's very discouraging
@@whynot131313 I got the finix and I don’t have any issues like that. I used it when I was hiking the AT and it worked just fine
Monthly planners are the very devil!!! Ive never been able to use them. I gave up on them all when I turned old.😅
Yeahhhh the planner life sure isn't for everyone. I've tried planners. Even a bullet journal - which has worked for a lot of people in our community, but for me? Nah. My life lives on google calendar lmao
- Harley, Community Manager
Actually monthly planners fmwirk for me is it is just basic mostly I look for ones that have at a glance calendar and boxes for each day of the month. Plus I am old school I need something tangible and visual. I’ll still use Apple calendar for right on the spot so I can remember and still put it on the calendar with the time, and my monthly planner right away. Being somewhat repetitive helps me.
I found a dateless planner/to do list notebook I really like! You fill in the date at the top so no shame if you don't touch it for awhile, and then it has a section for schedule, top priorities, to do lists, follow up and notes. I love it a lot more than planners!
@@Nina-nm8ti I purchased one of those from the happy planner made for teachers I like it. How ever don’t do the to do list
I can't meditate by focusing on my breathing because it gives me panic attacks, but I can do a stretching routine and focus on the sensation of the stretching which calms my mind and also helps my horrendous shrimp posture :)
Jessica, this channel and your book are helping me so much. After reading the chapter on struggles with the Executive functions, I cried. You have written what I needed that moment! ❤Thank you so much! I wish the book will be translated in german.
Can you please make a video about adhd and the female cyclus/hormones.
It's a video we've hoping to do at some point!
In addition, what has worked in the past won’t always work as our needs change, and that’s ok too! My thing was the bullet journal. It worked so well for a couple years, then suddenly it just stopped working. I couldn’t keep up with it despite getting into a rhythm and enjoying it. Eventually I found that I needed to shift to just keeping a dump notebook so I could get thoughts out without needing time to sort them out. After treating my ADHD and finding potential autism underneath, and add female hormonal cycles, it occurred to me just how much our needs can change month to month, or even week to week. Now, faced with having to come off of my meds as they exacerbate other health issues, I’m needing to reevaluate constantly. This video was a great reminder to take things and make them work for me, so thank you! ❤
My phone remains on its charger, right next to my desk, unless I'm either using it or leaving the house. I don't have a key hook, but there's a series of coat hooks right next to my apartment door, so I *TRY* to place my keys either on one of those (designated my key hook) or on the table right beneath the coat hooks. My "appointments calendar" is a sheet of paper attached by magnets to my freezer, since I have to open the refrigerator at least twice daily, which means I have to at least *LOOK* at it every day. 🙃 Keeping things simple really does help ... though I do still sometimes forget to bring my phone with me when I leave the house, which can be a real drag ... 🤣
Hi Jessica. I just got diagnosed with ADHD and dyscalculia (that one was a surprise!)two weeks ago. I want you to know that you've been of great help these past years (Been watching you for five years or so, since I was originally diagnosed by my school counselor) you're a great inspiration to me, and your videos brought me the confort of knowing that out there were people just like me. Your channel's like a good friend to me.
I love setting up an organization system. I never use them...
Morning Pages - from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron.
I typed them for about 2 years before actually reading the book which says to handwrite them.
Then I'd do them with a fancy pen and A5 notebook, then a plain pen and white notepad then a plain biro and yellow legal pad.
And that last one stuck for 7 years.
Removed every last bit of friction - biros are everywhere and I order legal pads in big packs (they're not a thing in the UK)
The yellow is easy on the eye and I love draining the biro down to empty in about a month, so it's a routine but one where I write out the mad random stuff in my head with no judgement
I box out the bits I want to keep (in a single Google docs doc) and literally throw each page away.
It feels gorgeous and not overwhelming.
Before this I had about 10 docs that I'd keep stuff in.
I stopped hoarding thoughts
"We are amidst strange beings in a strange land, the flow of time itself is convoluted, with heroes centuries old phasing in and out. The very fabric of our being wavers, and relations shift and obscure..."
-Solaire of Astora \[T]/
\[T]/
Aha, a quote from my newest hyperfixation!
Dark souls has taught me how perseverance is supposed to work, and that i can, in fact, do hard things
Keep going, and keep learning, everyone :)
Praise the sun! \[T]/
@@SmerkyRandomised Praise the Sun! \[T]/!
Progressive muscle relaxation was shown to me before I had been diagnosed with ADHD. I was in the headspace that I had "extreme anxiety". During the practice, I absolutely lost it internally without the counselor even noticing. It was one of the first moments I acknowledged that "successful treatments" didn't necessarily work for me. I didn't understand why in the moment, but it was a moment of clarity for me.
I was hospitalized for postpartum too. Hugs.
My smart watch is really just a phone locator.
Honestly... such a useful function.
Yes
regarding the discipline of electronic check registers along with the separate accounts (however you do it)
You also get the ability to forecast spending 2-3 months out. This is real-time (not a budget) automatic scheduling to get the recurring bills paid and keep a finger on the pulse of how much money is remaining in a month for fancy groceries or special expenditures, especially taking advantage of 'bargains'. Some months, you can't afford the extra, regardless of how good a deal it is.
In some of my different accounts, I stash $100 in savings to cover the occasional overdraft occurrence (happens a lot less often now). It is also a form of emergency fund - I used one recently to make a special purchase to complete a project, at a bargain price.
And, wouldn't you know it, I need to go now find the money and schedule that transfer to get the $100 back into a savings account. I forgot.
Thanks for reminding me!
Adaptation is the best.
My therapist (knowing Im Dx Autistic and on an ADHD waiting list) told me to adapt the methods to what works for me.
Muscle relaxation:- do in any order I like, add other movements that work better for me, if I miss some out completely that is fine too.
Guided Meditation : Therapist pointed out several on yourube and said pick what works best for me, and remember the Speed function is my friend. If none of them work for me that is fine too. If I want to combine different parts that I do like from different guided meditations, I should do it.
Sensory Self Soothing kits : Use what works for me, and slowly get more comfortable using my travel kit in public.
I am so glad I've had a great therapist that gets that doing certain things one way won't work for me but is happy to adapt and intergrate what works for me. 😊
When I was in school, I hated using agendas. I always lost track of the date and couldn't quickly find the right one. Plus, I could only see one week at a time. If I had a test on Monday, I would panic because I didn't realize I needed to study. I decided to bring a monthly calendar instead. People laughed at me, but it really helped.
One therapist told me shortly after I got my diagnosis: „your brain is wired differently, that’s why some strategies that work for many people don’t help you. It’s like having an Apple computer and trying to use Microsoft programs.“ That really helped me
Thanks for the video Jessica
Up until college I tried various things to stay organize like planners, calendars, etc and while it worked the first few weeks my organization started to fall apart once the pacing increased. When i was in college I tried something a little different which was have the color of my notebook match the color of the folder for the course and on both of them in the center in bold I would put a sticker with the name of the course. The other thing I did which now looking back was probably not the most healthiest for my back is I packed everything in my bag even if I did not have a specific course for the day. Since I physically can't drive I think part of it had to do with the stress of potentially forgetting something at home (which sometimes I did anyways) and not being able to just drive back and grab it. I also hated the thought of being told I was not prepared for class if I forgot something.
As a 66 yr old who was diagnosed in my 40s, I have found that I use alcohol far too much to dampen down anxiety or guilt about not doing everything that is waiting to be done. I do have medication. My point is that as we age things change, and we need to be aware that it is far too easy to self medicate. Be kind to yourself and reach out for help to make adjustments.
I love this program Jessica! So VERY helpful!!
The basket method of cleaning: I keep a decorative basket in the room that gather the most clutter in my house. If I find something out of place, I toss it in the basket. Once a week (per room), I dump the basket's contents on my bed and put everything away. I'm not using the baskets for permanent storage or cozy decor. They have no lids, but I don't care about the mess being visible. The rooms are clutter free and the system works for me.
My god it’s so good to hear stuff like this as it makes you feel normal. Still wish I could find a way past this stuff.
my doctor admitted after tests its likely i have ADHD so referred me to a specialist. They (by mail) decided that because I have a stable job and family my condition wasn't severe enough to warrant treatment.
I don't even know if I need treatment, but I want to be better.
I think you need a different specialist. It's easier to function well in a job that has external structures in place than at home, where you have to make the structures.
I think the possible way to making the envelop system work is to not have loose envelopes, but the plastic zippers pouches that can go in a binder or ringed planner. easy to reuse, everything is in the same place and you can use one pouch for pens, labels and little notepapers for when you are borrowing from the envelops. You can bring the whole planner/binder with you to the store! A lot of the ringed planners also have slots and pockets for debit cards, drivers license and such, so it can be a complete wallet! There are even full kits to buy från amazon or any of the cheap Asian shopping sites.
exactly! If a tool is helping you, you're using it right! No matter how it was "intended" to be used.
Losing the phone, oh yeah 😆 I have an Android, so that's Google. I just loudly ask, "ok Google, what's the weather here today?" Or another question with a long answer, such as, "ok, Google, tell me something about the Grand Canyon."
The device answers & leads me to it!
(As long as it's charged & on 😉) it's worked great for 3 years.
Oh that's brilliant!
This is a great Idea, I'm going to try that next time it happens, if I remember lol
Hmmmm, I don't know, but what came to my mind, how to recognize if it doesn't work or it just needs time:
- imagine how you'll keep this habit in future
- does that make you excited? or are you stressed just with the idea of it?
- do you feel like it's meant to be your system/strategy or do you try that cus it works for others?
- if you keep failing in the future, is there a way how to make that easier? way that's not ideal but is much easier? would this easier option work fine for you?
I struggle with the google calander too. I still use a pen and paper calander. Only problem is remembering to check it every day 😂
8:55 Adaptation: I use Trello (digital card system) not for collaborating, but for referencing + for task lists.
The digital card system allows to rearrange tasks (Cards) according to precedence (I don't like the word priority, never understand what people mean by it).
That sounds a bit like how I organize tasks in Airtable, except I use its grid (spreadsheet) view more so than its Kanban board one. I link predecessor tasks to a task, so I only see the predecessors.
I use Trello for my new job. That’s an interesting take for me to try. Thanks!!
Jessica, I use your book as an “in case of emergency listen to this!” listening to the Audio version). So I reinforce good behaviour! Thanks Steve from Australia 🇦🇺
As I was watching this video, I had the realization that these systems are like recipes. When I find a recipe I want to try, I make it the first time the way it's written. Sometimes it tastes great straight away, and occasionally, the result just plain sucks and I'll never make it again. But most often, it just needs adjustments to make it taste right.
No one is a bad cook because of the way a recipe is written. Similarly, no one is a bad or lazy person because of the way an organization system is laid out. They are guides to get a desired result, and we can tweak what we need to to make them work.
The most frustrating thing for me is when things that have been working swimmingly suddenly stop working. T_T
The first time I was given a day planner (standard issue from the school I'd just moved to), it was amazing! I had never been so organized, it worked perfectly for my whole last year of high school.
Then when I moved on to college I bought a new planner... could not make it work no matter what I did. Over the years I tried different types, layouts, nothing - the magical system stopped working.
Same with when I found bullet journaling. It was perfect for a whole year. And every year I keep trying and I fail to upkeep with even the most minimal layout.
Oh well. The keyhook by the door thing actually does still work for me though - so I got that going for me, which is nice. xD
I understand this struggle because every single time I would sit down to memorise notes and I would just forget everything when I turned it over and it was really frustrating and then I found that I worked better with mindmaps for somethings, I used diagrams and notes on the side which seemed chaotic to others were helpful for me because I could memorise information in chunks.
I also struggled with focus and getting myself to sit down and study the app FLORA was really helpful for that because whenever I would come home from school or uni I would sit down and study for an hour and a bit and it helped me commit to my studies and if I didn't stick with it I would kill a virtual tree which was really motivational for me
It really does depend on the person, it's great to experiment with different methods.
Appreciate the video, Jess 💕💕🤗🤗
People would always tell me to use flashcards for studying, and they never worked for me.
Until I discovered the problem was that they were plain white flashcards. As soon as I started using neon colored flashcards and organized learning chunks by colors, they worked. For example, blue is trig functions, green is polar functions, yellow is advanced geo identities, etc. One time the store didn’t have neon, and I had to use pastel instead. They worked better than white flashcards, but not as good as neon.
I always wanted mind maps to work for me, but they didn’t. I’m jealous they work for you because they look so cool!!
@@gunner6912 I'm so glad you found a nifty way to memorise your notes! 🤗🤗💕
Just do you! 💕💕
Appreciate the complement
@@Aashbard01 very wise words! 🤩
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here
I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.
The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly
@@Eddington451
I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.
@@AlbertoTorres894Does he deliver to various locations?
I watched a bullet journal video where the creator said to use a setup for 1-2 months without changing it (if possible). That way you can see how it works and what does/doesn't work for you. After the 1-2 months, make changes. Additions, subtractions, make only 1-2 if possible, then use it for 1-2 months. That time period gives your brain enough time to actually adjust and adapt, and you can realize what you may actually need. It's hard, but it does help. I will admit by the end of the 1 month, I am frustrated with a system, but that motivates me to make those changes so it can work! It also gives me peace of mind, knowing it's got an end. I know that after 1 month, I don't have to do this anymore, I can do different. It also helps keep me from shopping. I would buy a planner, use it for 2 days then get another because the 1st didn't work, then repeat.... now, I have to use it for a month, make changes, and then another month. Then, I can go shopping if need be.
I was traveling with my good friend a few days ago, and I took the wrong exit and got lost in my own home town becauseI didn'thave my google maps pulled up talking to me. She's known me for a yew years now but I think that day was possibly the first time she really "got it", of just how stressful it is for me. I was on the brink of having a meltdown because we were late and I was angry with myself because I got distracted with a conversation instead of paying attention to the exits.
At first she tried to be funny and tease lightly, saying don't I live there? And should know the roads by now? I responded seriously instead of jokingly like she expected, and said this is part of the reason I am constantly stressed out. Then to her credit she stopped teasing and asked if I had that much trouble finding her house (which is one turn off the main road), and I said yes it took me a very long time to learn that route. And I tried to say sorry, (I don't know why, probably because we were late), and she actually stopped me and said, no she was sorry. She was sorry it causes me so much stress, that it's obvious it's effecting me very badly.
I think it was the first time in the three years I've known her that she actually fully acknowledged the struggle for me, but on the flipside I realized that was probably the first time I have ever fully unmasked in front of her instead of trying to play it off like a big joke. I couldn't hide how upset and nervous I was that day.
Not really related to the video, I just wanted to share a validating experience because I get the feeling not many of us get tha validation very often. Although I hope you do, or at least get it more in the future. It was very healing.
I’m an ADHDer who uses a physical planner. Yes, I said it. 😂 BUT!!! I do not use it the way other people do. I write out any important things like when bills are due, therapy appts, when assignments are due for grad school, doctor’s appt, etc. But other than that, nothing is actually “planned.” I let myself do whatever I want each day, and at the end of the day, I write out everything that I did in my planner. It helps me to feel accomplished.
And I color-code it with pastel highlighters. Everything related to health (cooking, showering, yoga, etc) I highlight in green, everything that is an “adult” task is purple, anything that’s fun/a hobby is blue, anything with a friend is orange. For the really important stuff, I use a bright yellow highlighter so it sticks out & I probably circle it also
I use my smart watch as a timer for tasks, which was great at first, but if I’m hyper focused on something I will automatically turn it off and ignore it, and continue with whatever task I was doing.
9:11 Yeah! I love spices and I have a _lot_ of spices (a whole 3 shelve cupboard full + some overflow spices below it... and hot sauces in the fridge... and a chili mill somewhere in the livingroom), and the only system that works for me organising them is to have a few boxes in the cupboard to dump them in. And if I'm feeling extra organised I have labelled them "green spices" (i.e. "herbs", but I forgot that word when I was writing the label), "dark spices", and after a while these two started overflowing so I added two more boxes "chili/paprika" and "indian/asian spices" (I don't think I have gotten around to label these yet, I've only had this system for about 7 years or so😂, but I remember which is which from the contents) and on the top shelf I have a couple more also unlabelled boxes for the big 100g or 250g bags of spices that I use to refill the smaller jars below. Any more detailed organisation than that and the spices will inevitably end up in a pile on the kitchen bench awaiting motivation to sort them.
I think I forgot where I was going with my commend above... 🤣
I had to design my own planner in order to use it. Would love to find a way to manufacture it for others but I'm unsure how to go about it.
I designed our family calender with big boxes to write things in for each day and it visible from far away. Each half month is on an A4 size paper. I print it out every September for the next calendar year. At first each person ( 3 of us) had their own colour, but we soon dropped that. ;-) as pens got misplaced . The motto in our family was, "if it is not written on the calendar, you haven't told me". (about the event or appointment on a certain date or the like) Now I use calendar on my phone AND the written big family calendar.
Have you heard if Cass from Clutterbug youtube channel? She has ADHD and organizes in broad categories for herself. She also helps other people with a variety of organizational styles.
Sad the anti planner still isnt available in my country 😢😢
Absolutely……Like lefties in a world of righties!! lol and I’m ambidextrous!! 😅😂
A life of abject failure without understanding why I was failing has taught me that if I fail at something quickly, give up because I'm never going to be able to not fail. So the part about failing but not giving up makes a lot of sense now that I know why I fail. I feel like I used the word fail way too much in that comment. I can't think of another way to say what I was trying to say though.
This is so relatable. I think my main issue with tools that I try to help with my ADHD and anxiety is that I get bored of them and they lose their effectiveness. Like for example, I have several alarms on my phone to keep me aware of the time as I easily lose track of it, but they aren't as effective anymore as my brain dismisses it or I convince myself that I have more time than I do
To remember to take meds, I use an app ('nag reminder') that can be set up to keep sending reminder notifications at an interval that you set until you tell it that you've completed the task (which you can do in the notification window thing). It's really fixed my issue with ignoring or forgetting about notifications
Waiting on official screening here, but therapist strongly suspects inattentive type, possibly with GAD/MDD (which might be driven by ADHD who knows at this point). I struggle to find The One System, but I've gotten a little comfortable with iterating. I'll find a new system really engaging and helpful when it's *new*, but as the novelty wears off it starts to feel like a burden. The systems that have lasted are generally fairly easy to upkeep;
**WHENEVER ONE OF THE BELOW FEELS LIKE A BURDEN, I CHANGE IT SLIGHTLY AND ITERATE FOR WHAT I NEED NOW**
- My mood tracker is a color box next to the one-line gratitude journal; and I limit it to one line so I don't spin on it.
- My therapy journal has rainbow pages so it doesn't feel stark (a lucky find tbh - don't think I'll find a journal like this one again).
- My books are grouped by genre/function (cookbooks, D&D books, fantasy, nonfiction, journals, sketchbooks).
- I have a box specifically for user manuals and paperwork I think I might need to keep for household stuff, another box for bank/taxes, another for health documents, and a specific box for receipts for the year for tax filing.
- I bought a roomba. It doesn't do a perfect job but at least it's regular - super helpful cuz I hate how loud vacuums are and when dealing with MDD it's just not happening. It's scheduled to run while I go to my weekly knitting social. It actually gets me to pick stuff up off the floor cuz I won't do it for myself LOL
- My journal now looks more like a scrap book, so I don't have boxes of random park maps and paper mementos and things just floating around. I use fun stickers and washi tape and it's become a really nice quiet, tactile experience, which I enjoy.
- I have a magnetic list pad on my fridge so I can write down groceries I need *immediately*, then just pull off the page and go shopping
- Write it Down. Write it Down. Write it Down!!! The more I try to carry in my head the worse my anxiety is.
- I put every date I need to remember in my Google Calendar immediately. I tried to carry a little planner book cuz I love them but I kept losing them, but my phone is always with me SO that's how it is I guess.
- I have a key hook with a pocket right by my door; keys go on it immediately, and any mail that needs to go out to the mailbox goes in the slot. (still perfecting an incoming mail/items system. That's been Big Yikes - the piles are horrible)
I tried digital organizing. It seemed like it would work because it reduces visible clutter (which makes my anxiety ramp up), but I found it was a big Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind hole and anything kept digitally was lost and forgotten. Plus, everything is getting more and more aggressive about trying to pull your attention to it, so I'm reverting back to analogue systems. If I need to open my phone to get a piece of information I tucked away, I WILL end up down a rabbit hole because I got some notification (and I even turn as many as I can off - it's horrible). So, honestly, the Marie Kondo method of "does this bring you joy" works best for me. If it isn't useful and/or doesn't bring me joy, it's gone. 1-2 visible clutter reduced, what's left is useful and brings me joy.
This is great!! Thank you for this. Your other video about things only working for a while was also super helpful. Sunsama worked for me for a good long while. Until it didn’t! And I’m okay with that, partly thanks to you. Right now, I’ve switched over to Trello, because I visually want to see everything at once. Plus I felt empowered to redo my content calendar Sheet so it would be in rainbow order, because that makes my brain happy. I’m just accepting more and more that maybe these things that I think are “small” that are bothering me aren’t actually small and/or can be adapted to work better for me.
Very true: systems are fine, but keep 'em simple! Especially when struggling with anxiety disorders (I have really bad AvPD), depression etc. Keep it simple and don't punish yourself when a system or systems don't work. Thanks again for doing these great vids!
A hack that I've come up with, is putting my keys in my dice tray (it's rainbow colored so it pops out and can be seen) so my brain is drawn to the colorful tray and then immediately up to my keys. I also keep my wallet attached to the same ring as my keys.
I have a few simple binder systems I use as an organizer, just by subjects. Like English, maths, psych.
It's not much, but it's enough to help me keep track of my things.
Thank you for this. I've been working with google calendar for years, and refining and improving the way it works is a continual process. That's just an example. The takeaway is that I have to look at the tools and give them honest tries, and I am grateful for this video.