How to Measure My Grief Work!
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- Опубліковано 19 вер 2024
- Griefwork is hard work. It is important to know if your hard work is serving you. Motivation to stay dedicated to your Grief is essential. Have a watch.. leave a comment so we can all learn together. 🙏🏻❤️
Let's Do Grief Differently!! You and your Grief deserve support. 🙏🏻
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Tell me where to send options and updates to support you and your Grief!
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I put the big picture of Grief Work in this video. Let me know in the comments if these concepts could support your Grief! 🙏🏻.
Playing grief hostess has become a reflex for me. I do my best to reassure others that I'm okay and sometimes say I'm coping when that's not true either.
"Being a grief hostess:" oh boy can I relate to this. It's exhausting comforting others who are uncomfortable with my sadness. I just want to get away from them.
I have been staying away from everyone right now...I owe No explanations to anyone about my thoughts or feelings at this time...They are my feelings anyway and everyone has their own feelings...I am finding that this is serving me well at this time...for a while I was thinking that someone would be around to give some realistic support but nobody has been able to offer anything other than the "cliches" ...and I am fed up with those, so being alone is best for me now...and to those who are uncomfortable with my grief I say please feel free to stay far away.
I can relate to this too. I recently lost my mom and I find myself making excuses for grieving. Also telling people I’m fine when I’m actually depressed and sad. I’ve had no support from family members. I decided to stay away for now from people. These videos are helpful 🙏
Yes, always aware that people are so uncomfortable with the loss of my daughter and my grief
Its been nearly three months now and I thought I was 'getting better,' but I have been paralyzed the last two days, weeping in the street, physically ill... looks like this will, take some time. I turn as ever to your quiet voice and listening to what you say. Thank you, dear lady.
What you have said to me is calming and wonderful. There is promise in my life, a writing project, more or less looking after myself and keeping the place clean. Then today has been the worst day of all, deep sadness, lassitude, laziness, quite a lot of why should I bother about situations. I have been toying with the idea, since there really is nobody else at all, now that Mary has gone and I failed there. So many things I should have done for her said to her. I am always going to be alone now. I have a lot of medication. I feel very sensible but resolved to the inevitability of a fairly useless existence now. I neither feel well enough or rejected by people. I have had so much to contribute but not any more. Is this grief? I really can’t do anything. I could quietly leave. You know what I mean. The pain will not go.
Hold on, wait a few hours, close your eyes and rest , breathe slowly, then go outside for a long walk. It will pass, believe me, ive been there. So many people are waiting for u to come back.
I find it helpful to isolate and just be (authentically) with myself.
I do a couple of task oriented things a day.
This provides me with a feeling of being in control.
I limit contact currently - this seems to allow peace in my world 💜
"Being a grief hostess:" can I relate to this. It's exhausting comforting others who are uncomfortable with my sadness. I just want to get away from them. My goal in working through my grief is to feel reasonably confident than in my future interactions with others, especially a new potential mate, that I'm in a healthy, mature place in my regard for them: that I don't expect them to be exactly what my late mate was, that I'm ready and open to learn to appreciate them for who they are, and not just what I hope for, want or need.
A ki d woman stoppede as I was walking to my vehicle at Slovak shopping mall and said " you look like you are carrying I huge weight on your shoulders" "Oh", I said. "I was unaware. Thank you." We do wear our grief on our face.Perhaps the acknowledgement was a kind of validation of my burden of pain. The incident reminded me that I'm still on the healing journey. It's all ok. Thank you for your work.
Thank you
“Recent and urgent” I am no where near able to entertain these concepts and goals. I definitely need “First aid”…
It has been 9 months, and the grief is more intense the pain is ottenf overwhelming I do not accept that Dusty is gone therefore I feel I'm failing at my grief. My body is tired from crying but I do have moments of fun enjoy with my family on my family on my job I spend time every night and of much calmer State trying to sit in the love and feel the presence of Dusty's love for he loves me and that has made all the difference to me my entire life
It has been almost a year and I still am navigating my way thru all of this. My love and care for my husband is on a different level and I value it beyond words. I try to honor him in all that I do and still carry on the life that we loved. On days when this is so hard, I find my quiet place, pray, read, and just be. I am determined to do the best that I can with where I find myself.
Just at bedtime after a big relapse I managed to eat something and swallow some sadness too. I really am relying on your kind advice Jo. Thank you for helping with my pain and guilt and restoring a little hope in me. God bless your kind heart. Edward
I will listen again tomorrow I think what you give me is trust again. Edward
I seem to resonate with what you say whenever I start to listen.Nervous today because I felt good. I was ‘waiting’ for the relapse, and after a day of optimism, spring weather, out for a solitary coffee, by the time I got home I knew what would be waiting for me. I think I fought it off by a feeling of physical exhaustion and listened to your clever softness and slept for two hours. Awoke ravenous, bought a take away and threw it out because appetite had gone. Thinking a lot about our dear little dog, not very well, and I couldn’t take her out because I could not leave my wife on her own. I could not cope and had her put to sleep. I will never never never get over that. There is nothing I can think of that is not painful, but will make it through the night. I never know what to expect and feel out of control sometimes, not violent, but uncertain, don’t know which path to take, looked at a box of Valium but only took one before bed. You make me feel humble but I know inside I have lost my way. I am frightened of myself but everybody thinks I look great. Edward.😮 9:44
I think this is your best one yet, although they are all EXCELLENT. Thank you, Jo.
very helpful to have a way to know I am doing better. Great information. Thank you!
I fake it every day that I am ok, but I do seem to be making some progress as my happiness seems to be returning at times.
I can relate to this I look happy when actually sad
I listen , and thank you, grief is a passage , so so tough in heart and mind
Suffice it to say that this is like a serrated knife tearing at my heart. I can only think of the loss of our little dog, or Mary's eyes sparkling as we shared the knowledge that she was beyond my help and we both knew it. Failure, pain, vertigo. Being in a very high place and pulled forward. Living alone from day to day. Feeling like a snail in a shell and I Never wantreason
Yes👋
This is so helpful, thank you x
I am working on your kind advice and will be easier on myself. I want to feel that I did everything I could for my wee Mary, but I know that she would not want me to be a quivering idiot. I still think I was not good enough but did try and will always love her I am keeping busy and neat and clean as I can, eating and sleeping is a problem. Its just that the physical pain when it comes back to hit me and fear is a part of that. You are helping me find perspective. Small steps. Love and thanks from Edward.🤔
Give yourself time. It will get better but Jo is right. You need to learn to live with your grief. My husband passed away 10 months ago, and I have relapses from time to time that now only last an hour or two. You seem to have a lot of guilt still to deal with. Be good to yourself. Acceptance will take time.
So many options available. I just have to see if the ones I’m exploring are right for me at this time. Thank you for all the alteranatives in this journey ❤
I agree
I can’t do this. I’m devastated. I cry every day and I can’t swallow. I feel like I don’t want to eat, take anything in
Totally relate 😢
Very informative video, thanks. I lost my mother for 6 yrs ago, that time I had to deal with so many other problems, so that I just didn't know how to cope with all my emotions, I had to go on. Now and than I had tears bursting out of my hearth, I pushed them away, said to myself; not now! I didn't have the strength anymore, as I’ve noone, that means; no place to lean on or fall down.
Recent years I felt numb, noticed that couldn't cry anymore, only when I create that space (photos, letters, music) to feel my grief, than I cry alot, but after that I feel very exausted/down. I (66) really w o n d e r , if I should allow myself create that space to feel my emotions after such a time (like opening the wounds) or rather to concentrate on those important questions, which you’ve mentioned in your videos.
Still coping w/the profound loss + sadness. It’s a dull ache all the time. 😢 Not sure I will ever pull out if it. Sorrow fills me up most days. Grief is a long road.
Thank you Jo, i love you voice , your approach, the duration of the session. How do i download your chart please
I am just beginning but as I listen the concepts presented here are clear. I will find this vid useful. Thanks.
Jo -- I continue to watch your earlier videos and pick up nuggets of info. But much applies to "traditional grief". Do you have a subset of info for us who are struggling through ambiguous loss and anticipatory grief. You touched on these but would love to learn more and have more guidance.
A broken man I am
Broken can be beautiful
The Venus de Milo has no armed
The Hercules of Belvedere has only a torso left
Both are beautiful
Incompleteness is in every human being
In that you are not alone
🖐️
Thanks love this ..help me so much Rhonda
🤚
🙏💔💔💔
Stop telling me how to feel
Anger is not hostile
The raised fist displayed during social protests shows a force for righteousness
There can be no change without some form of anger
Anger is not rage and hate is not prejudice
Not to recognize these emotions
leads to stagnation
I may have lost a reply to you. Perhaps it will turn up. Edward.
Hi with OCD this is far far too stressful can't do it
Hi thank u so much fo favouriting my comment can u please explain to me how this could affect me trying to deal with both things starving compulsions and grieving what do u advise for me to go about this Ime on my own with no one at all and Ime terrified of being seriously ill I would be extremely grateful if u could help me because Ime in UK and can't afford counselling doctors make it worse