Understanding the Symptoms of Grief
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- Опубліковано 27 сер 2024
- Let's review the physical symptoms of Grief by understanding how our grieving brain works . How do Grief symptoms challenge the emotional work of Grief. Watch to then end for suggested tools to combat these physical symptoms of Grief.
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This is a repost of my very first video in May 2021... the tech details of UA-cam have been a big learning curve. I was so hesitant to start posting about Grief as no one wants to talk about Loss. My insecurity about this led me to making a video with annoying background music!🤷♀ Thank you to all who have told me to lose the music!!😉 This is a repost where my honest words and dedication to doing Grief differently speak out!
Jo, I am so thankful that you made this first post and continued with your support group. My husband died in my arms 5 months ago, and I am struggling to find my way through all the darkness.
I have found your videos and the comments from others very helpful.
Thank you!
Now I understand
I am not alone Jesus is with me
I'm so thankful to come across your grief channel 🙏 My mom was fatally struck while walking Mother's day weekend 5/12/23. Because she wasn't in a crosswalk the police didn't charge him.
I've been overwhelmingly grief stricken that I've since developed the following...
Panic attacks lasting hours
Lack of sleep
Less appetite and dehydrated
IBS symptoms that now cause me to spend an hour, in & out of the restroom every morning
Uncontrollable crying and trembling
Just to name a few.
@grieftherapist I've developed vertigo. It's been 27 months. Now I sometimes feel as if I'm about to fall, or actually fall. Anything I can do about it? I lost my firstborn son through a shocking totally unexpected suicide no one saw coming and was so out of character that it's literally left me reeling.
I related to turning inward. People reach out and I just want to retreat. I am exhausted by trying to act like I am getting “better”. It’s a lonely place
The exhaustion is real! I had a panic attack 1 year out from my husband’s death, and at the ER they told me how to destabilize my vagus nerve.
So true
My body is all shaking inside . Married for 58 years miss him
Iam so sorry.I lost my first husband suddenly to an affair and he became a monster. I never expected to feel so alone and lost at age 30. Then two of my uncles died from heart attacks and so did my Dad. A very terrible year, 1988. I remember feeling numb . HUGS
I keep finding myself trembling and feeling faint. Bless you.
It was the brain fog and confusion … thinking I did stuff and I didn’t … I didn’t feel like myself
Such a helpful person! I’m sick of the “be strong” people. It’s time for feelings. That’s what’s up!
In the last 7 months our 15 yr dog Teddy passed. Then NOV. 2022 my Mom passed. In March my 15 yr old kitty passed. 3 weeks ago my best friend , Nancy, passed.I feel like I am under water, I can’t breathe.lost so much weight., can’t eat much. This is a level of pain that I never knew existed.
My husband overdosed on 12/08/21, I found him. I’m a mess. Very angry and depressed 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 I am not eating much, I have lost 25 lbs since then, I was with him for 36yrs. The psychologist noticed my breathing, EXACTLY what you said, very shallow breathing, im alone in this big house and am paranoid in here. Thank you, as I thought I was losing my mind!
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I am going through the same feelings after losing my mom last year in Feb 2022…I, too, lost 25 lbs, was all alone. But I think since I have survived the experience, I feel I am much stronger…I still cry for my departed parents nearly every day, sometimes a few times a day, but my work and purpose in life keep me going…
I am so sorry xxxx I hope u r doing ok xxx
@@emilyroche3701 Thank you ! 💕
🙏for you
Anger caught me most off guard. No one shares their anger on the grief groups. I have rage in me for a son's sudden, tragic and unsolved death. Everyone and everything irritates and annoys me. No one admits this very common symptom of sudden loss.
I especially feel angered when I am preached at or the usual pat phrases for the bereaved are tossed my way.
That is a good subject you brought up about rage and anger. My sister lost her son under suspicious circumstances she was never even allowed to go to his funeral by the very person that may have caused his demise. Of course there's no proof but she had rage and anger she still does after 3 years even our relationship changed she's not the person that she was rage and anger needs to be discussed
I understand you perfectly ❤my anger was quiet it made me isolate myself until it calmed in me / I prayed a lot and try to find ways to overcome it. It is still there in me, but I can recognize it now when it tries to take over me.
Def anger with Grief . Yeah it's not spoke about much ? ❤ xo
Anger caught me off guard too. I lost my dad a year back, and then my mom 2 months ago. I am angry at everyone and everything. And I used to pride myself for being an even tempered person. Along with anger comes this inescapable feeling of things being so unfair, no rationale given making any sense and people just enjoying their lives right in front of my eyes. And then follows the question, am I a bad person for feeling that way.
I went on night walk and i was full of anger. I hated everything and everyone. Everything was ugly. I wanted to inflict the world the pain that I felt cause the core is that nothing was fair in this world
My 33 yr old beloved grandson. Army Vet who came back to civilian life after 6 yrs in military, with high level ptsd, and concussions, tried suicide after his girlfriend told him she aborted their baby boy, we had seen the baby in ultrasound pictures. He survived the accident barely, he was seriously injured and endured alot of immense pain the Dr stopped giving him pain meds because he was doing cbd so it was getting worst for him on May 17th he took his life, and I'm his grandma who loved him then before then and always will, and my grief in my chest is like a knot. Now it comes and goes when I cry which is helpful, and he has come to tell me he loves me very much and I'm talking to him every day, I prayed for many years for his return from military duty and I pray everyday for him and its the guilt that I should have gone to see him more, he wasn't able to drive anymore.we kept in touch by phone calls or messages.I have to remind myself that he's no longer in the intense pain he was in and that Jesus is merciful and He has been accepted in His Kingdom.,and someday we will see each other again. And I'm crying as I write this.
Lack of interest. They all happened to me but lack of interest in the creative endeavors that got me going every day have been gone since the day my son and only child died at 33 ... EXACTLY two years ago today. I've had so many things to fear and overcome before I had my child I don't see fear as what I feel now. Sadness, deep despair and apathy yes. I barely know anyone and would like to be close to people I meet but they make it clear they have enough people in their lives. Once I my son died, even his dearest friends scattered like bugs in the light.
Love doesn't die. It transforms! ❤
@@ritawayword❤
Question what do you know about asthma and grief
Thank you so much for explaining the physical symptoms I've been experiencing. Last year I found my husband of 42 years dead on the bathroom floor. It was a horrible shock. I haven't been able to think, make decisions, remember where I keep things or names of anything it seems. I am a chef, well , I was a chef. I have no interest in cooking. I haven't cooked in a year. Food tastes either terrible or flavorless when I do remember to eat. I do not want to eat and I just grab crackers or something that wont make a mess or require any effort. I cooked for him. He was my love. I'm experiencing no desire to leave the house, thus I'm isolating. I cant read and comprehend what I'm reading. I just feel broken.
Coleen, know that someone is thinking of you and understanding something of what you are going through, it's good to know you are not alone ☀
@@onesphere Thank you
Coleen I'm the same ur not alone I will pray for you
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After losing my husband of 25 years last September, I’m at a loss when people ask me if I’m going to stay in my house…I feel his presence everywhere here and for now it feels like a warm blanket.
Wow Sharon I can relate to that.
I am glad for you Sharon. Please stay in your home, this is yours. Just keep your safe place. I lost my gorgeous husband 3 months ago and I'm still trying to grasp it, it was all too fast. I miss him constantly.
Sharon, I feel you should stay wherever you want, however long. Perhaps we need to ask what would be the intention behind their asking, I wonder if they would ask this question if we were men. As a widow, I have found out who are true friends very quickly. To be blunt, friends in the real estate, or contracting business with inappropriate questions during our early grieving months, are suspects. They coming around, typically show sudden interest not necessary for supporting us, rather looking for something. This is extremely hurtful, which also constitutes as secondary losses.
Another example: during one of my rare walks with a friend, asked if I would bring any unused jackets to donate. The walk which was her idea was to accompany her to drop off clothings to a donation box. These days, I still wonder what made her think that it is such a great idea to suggest that I should part with my beloved husband's belongings within a few months of his passing? Upon much contemplating if I was a crazy widow, I gave up that friendship. I rather keep my sanity. And may be it is simply too painful to see her face again.
In any case, if we google tips for widowed, the advice is not to make major decision for at least one year if possible . Our brains are just not functioning properly. Likely, we could make irreversible mistakes.
Much love to you and all others who are widowed, May God comfort us all.
@sharonmonson1510 I can so relate to what you said
I had people asking me if I was going to move the day after my wife pasted away!
For me, what resonates the most is a felling of heaviness and depression.
Here in 'Blighty' my late wife (Marilyn) reverted to her Soul existence back in March 2022, we knew one another for nigh 60 years and were married for over 55. As time goes by I feel no improvement relating to the missing close companionship, passion etc, of our association. I believe we are Soul's on a mission in this physical sphere but what bugs me most in this physical state, is that I can not, talk, as we could on most subjects, see her or hold her close to me. Music, certain lines of songs will set me off, even though they will, more often, relate to a different kind of parting and longing, the association of the words are vast. I can thank the great creator for the blessings bestowed upon us during our physical time together but whatever other interests I previously held in this lifetime have no meaning.
We have four adult children who do all they can to help, although I am pretty well self sufficient in the normal manner of things. I don't comprehend how the brain reacts because, although its part of me, we don't speak the same lingo and therefore do not come to terms with one another. I only know I am bereft of the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me. I am 84 and not yet ready to leave this earth but what point I constitute upon this sphere is known only to the creator, as I have not yet fathomed the answer.
I guess I forge on as I know my sweetheart would have wanted me to do so, and of course the children, grandchildren etc. In my reveries I strangely go back to our initial courting years and conclude that if I could have predicted this future, I would not have changed a bloody thing. Is it not, a funny old life.
Thank you for sharing this. I wouldn’t change a bloody thing either.
Thank you so much. This explains exactly what I'm experiencing.
This has been so helpful!❤
I am sending you so much love ❤❤❤❤
This could very well be the most beautiful sentiment of true love I have ever read. The love you shared (I believe) will keep your souls tied throughout all the universes. Who knows what's next, I don't, but I believe that this isn't all there is, I like to think we graduate to level 2 ;)
You really gave a gift with this post. Thank you so much.
This is beautiful ♥️♥️
Anxiety, fear, terror and panic. Hits hardest when I am falling asleep and jolts me awake. I'm 60 and my mom passed Oct 2022. I was fine (denial) the first 9 months. I have no other family....it was always just mom and I. Now its just I. I feel lonely and abandoned.
Me too
After loosening my 15 year old son to Homicide I’m MAD ANGRY AND SO SAD. I’m Mad at Myself and angry at Everyone. I feel guilty because I let him go outside. I’m so hurt he died in front of our home and I saw him take his last breath. No one was arrested for killing him and Nobody besides ME CARES. It’s been 4 months and I still can’t walk past my old home. Guilt, Depression, Anger and Loss of Sleep and Self Worth play a huge role in my Greif.
Trust me, other people care about the loss of your son. You may not be able to see it but people care ❤️
Self expectation a big issue😢 i lost my Husband to Lymphoma 7 weeks ago. He battled it for 8 years. I nursed him at home through palliative care and fulfilled his wish to be with me, but the trauma has left me not sleeping, not eating. Having to sort out all his affairs, our home, our bills, so much to think about 😢 and experiencing an anxiety attack while driving. You have to look after yourself but you can't think about that , i only feel his loss of his love and being beside me. 💔
(HUG) 1 Week ago I lost the love of my life, stage 4 lung & brain cancer. It was so hard to slowly watch. Back pain from trying to lift him and take him to all the radiation, dr appt. etc. Now everything is overwhelming to me. Now facing everything alone is so difficult. Not eating, paying all the bills, he took care of everything, Now I am trying to cope, just want to be at home and not go out.But I know I must , God bless you and comfort you in your pain.
🙏🙏🙏
Your comment is exactly what I am experiencing. My brain is so scattered. ❤
Don't want to eat,socialise, shower,keep the house go anywhere or do anything. I sleep and sleep and sleep. Its 6 mths since my husband died.
I lost my partner 3 months ago. Stage 4 cancer 5 weeks and he was gone! House is empty loss so deep hecwas my second and true love .. we had only 3 years together my heart ached to see him hold him tell him how I love him... The loneliness is a killer the pain endless! 😢💔
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Yes I am turned inward I will always miss my life the way it was, prior to my Mom's death she is missed always in our hearts God bless her and us always for her great dedication living her life for others.
I lost my husband about 6 weeks ago. Drawing inward is a real thing for me. Having to force myself to socialize, engage in things I used to enjoy. I find myself dwelling in the past, intense emotional state of love and passion for my husband in the earlier years. I find a lot of comfort there, but it's also painful.
I am sorry to hear of your recent loss. I lost my husband 3-1/2 months ago. I watched him take his last breath and that evening seems to play over and over in my head and I cry a lot. Sometimes I just feel numb. I have withdrawn into myself and struggle through each day. We had been together 44 years. For the last 16 years, I was his soul caregiver due to a severe head injury he received back in 2008. He did somewhat better over the years relearning everything but slowly started to decline. It was just the two of us over the years and it feels so unreal that he is no longer here with me. Sending you love, (((hugs))) and prayers ❤🙏. May your memories bring you strength through the coming years.
I lost my 19-year-old son to suicide Easter Day 2022. Easter will never be the same, during the holidays I felt like I was losing my mind. A really bad anxiety attack crept up on me while driving so bad, I almost couldn't drive. The meaning of life is hard to describe as it was once important to me, I just go through the motions trying to care for my 9 year old daughter, when I laugh I feel guilty, when I miss my son, I ask how could this be real. I'm taking it one day at a time.
I am very sorry to hear what you are going through. I pray that God and his mother Mary give you the comfort you need.
I am so sorry to hear this happened. May God and the Blessed mother be your comfort
Well I will share, my spouse passed away 5 days ago and I am just lost. Im having all these symptoms- I cant eat, cant sleep, stomach pains and headaches, also barely fully breathing. For sure I have zero desire to leave the house, but everything here reminds me of her. I just see no reason to be here anymore, I feel like my life is done. 😢 All are plans are over.
I'm about three weeks from a death and I am feeling much the same. It is tough.
I know what you mean I feel so sorry for you it's not nice. I lost my wife nearly a year ago and I feel as though it's only a week ago I a little bit better but miss her terribly. I know what you are going through tack care off your self x❤
I have been grieving the loss of my Mother ..its been just over 12 months .I found my self feeling much worse as time passed which was a shock to me as I had always heard time heals.I got to a point where I was uninterested in anything or anyone around me,there seemed to be no meaning to life...anxiety was immense too..I began to wonder if I had depression but came to realise it was part of the grieving process.. I hope I am past that now as it was quite intense.I do think when we lose someone dear to us we have to face our own mortality and that can be a shock.I am feeling much more like my old self again.
That is so great Helen, I’ve never lost anyone this close to me before and really didn’t know how to process but the waves of emotion are uncontrollable and I feel freer then I ever have since I quit my job and I think my mom helped me make this decision in waking life she knew I wanted to leave…
Thank you for sharing your experience . My son passed away suddenly 8 months ago and my Husband and I are feeling everything you experienced. Thank you for given us some hope.
I totally understand I thought I was truly going to die for a while I'm feeling better now to glad you are God bless
Funny, yes I lost my Mum three years ago, and because of Covid I couldn’t go to her funeral. Only this year I have begun to come to terms with that, it goes on the feelings. I found that the therapy actually helped to address the pain, and disappointment of loss of childhood
@@tencynevarez1289k Dr
I lost my only daughter 10 months ago. She had been ill for some time and I was caring for her. Not expecting it I just found her one morning on the floor…she was gone. So much of what you say in this video I can connect with because I have lots of anxiety and fear…also so much sadness. I am avoiding going out because I can’t bear the thought of talking to anyone about a regular life. Also have trouble getting to sleep because when I awake she will not be here and I have to face another day without her. Fear of dying (I am 71 and pretty healthy) because of my age…..I do feel alone and I sometimes feel a sense of a “madness”. Thank you for this video it has brought a little perspective.
I am so sorry
I lost my son. Suddenly at 29. No one can relate unless you know. And I am so very sorry for your loss.
Oh my goodness I'm so sorry I mean that for your loss of your daughter it's heartbreaking. I wish I could give you some comfort just even if it's to hug you and say nothing...
It almost feels like you lose your life because she was your life. At least thats how I felt when I lost my 27 yr old daughter
I’m so sorry. I cannot fathom your pain. I have one daughter whose job is rather dangerous. She’s an only child and adopted - my whole world. I’m 63 and recently lost my mother. Now I’m afraid of losing my daughter. I haven’t been able to sleep at night. I have become agoraphobic. I have a hard time facing each day.
Bless all who are grieving a loved one.
My Husband died in April. He was my best friend, my soulmate. We were married for 27 years. I have waves of feeling lost, lonely, out of control, anger. I now know to go with it not fight it. I have only recently found your videos. They are a blessing, thank you x
Your list of symptoms has been very helpful, I thought I was going crazy, one you didn't mention was anger at the person who died, irrational I know.
Abandonment by family members has been one of the most difficult things to come to grips with.
This has changed me because of the tremendous loss in my life. My husband was everything to complete my life. I am lost without him.
I know how you feel my husband was everything to me too he is in ICU we have to remove his breathing machine Monday am devastated I don’t know how to live without him
My 18 year old son Joe, was killed by a hit and run driver while walking home from the library Feb 10, 2020. He was my only child. The grief literally brought me to my knees. I rarely go out anymore, and can totally relate to turning inward. I have repeatedly pushed people away. I miss him so much it takes my breath away.
Such a terrible loss- I truly feel for you ❤ Having lost many loved ones I have found some comfort in learning about others near death experiences. I would recommend you read 'Journey of Souls' by Michael Newton
Your son would want nothing more than for his loved ones to be happy, of that I am certain. Are there places you can visit with good memories? Perhaps begin with a daytrip or short vacation to a special place. I often visit the place where my family enjoyed holidays - the memories are wonderful ❤
@@gillianm9367 Thank you for your kind words. I just looked up the book you suggested and ordered it today.
I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia,PTSD,Severe Depression, Anxiety. I have severe memory loss. I cannot remember my past. I have been grieving for my past, my childhood. I am 55 and just recently started seeing a doctor. I’m on medication that has helped me tremendously with my fibromyalgia pain. I was also attacked by a pit bull and husky seven years ago and now have difficulty leaving my home. I’m working on that as well.
My grief for my Mum actually began before she passed as her symptoms worsened. With my Dad we had known she was probably terminal, but she tried to be in denial about this and so we sort of rolled with it, because it didn't feel right that we should be the ones to make her rationally accept her diagnosis. So as her health started to decline, I went a flight response. I kept scrolling the Twitter for hours on end, watching senseless UA-cam videos and so on, because internally I was clueless about what to do. Mum didn't want to go to hospital, believing she would finally get better on her own, but she was in extreme pain... In the end, I somehow summoned all my mental power and made her go to hospital which brought her physical relief, but also she was made to face her terminal state as well... in a very unfortunate way. Anyway, when she then passed away, at home like we all wanted to, I felt numb... and my brain is slowly starting to rework more than one year after her passing.
The same thing happened to me when I lost my mom last year…
My partner recently died suddenly & was unexpected. He died before my eyes. The worst part of the grieving process for me was the shock, and inability to process what happened. Seven weeks later, I still can't accept it is real, and I felt real fear, still do. My brain went to mush, with memory fog, chest pains, inability to take a deep breath - even now!
How are you feeling now? My wife, who I love with all my soul, died suddenly from a brain hemorrhage two weeks ago. She was 42 years old and in good health. Then gone. I have the blessing of having our seven-year-old son to raise, which keeps me sane. It's a hurt beyond words. I wish you the best!
I had this overwhelming urgency to feel safe . I could conduct myself out of home for amount of time but whole while I wanted to be safe at home and specifically in my bedroom. There I could cry, read , pray or just be without having to deal with anyone else .
I was blessed with a wonderful cousin who understood my grief , my need to draw inward and to isolate. She listened . She validated. She allowed me to express all I was feeling .
Yes , she was my safety zone , my life preserver and comfort simply allowing me to grieve . Didn’t try to “ fix “ me , or make me feel move on.
I think …keep your lasagna, your pizza , and material things to bring comfort ..be a good listener! It’s a prescription to bring inward comfort . Just being present to the griever brings so much comfort.
I have not found anyone from my family or friends _to walk along side of me through or even be with me or no one want to hear about my pain _except for Jesus.
Thank God for Jesus.
Thank-you Father.
My daughter died in 2020 as a result of alcohol addiction. She left behind her two sons who at the time were 3 and 2 days away for the older one turning 7. I wanted to comment that I can relate too all of these symptoms. But most especially to the sleep one. I have had issues with sleep for years. But after my daughter died I found myself every morning waking up in a fetal position unable to move. It felt like there was a heavy iron anvil holding me down. I would all of a sudden
remember she was dead and that thought almost froze me to the bed. Then I would just lay there for 15 or 20 mins thinking about her and how I would never see her again. Nor would my 2 grandsons.
I am newly grieving and the 2 most prevalent feelings I have are sadness and shame.
My spouse has been gone for a year now my sleep is still messed up I still have a day a week of crying most of the day .When will I ever be happy again, the day he died plays over and over in my mind especially at night ,so lonesome when will it get back to normal ? So true it is fear being by yourself making all decisions!
Sending you love.
Hi Marsha, hugs to you. I have to tell you with gentleness, there is no old normal. Moments of happy will return, younger feel guilty when it happens, but your husband wants you to be happy again. It will happen. :)
Since my husband passed 12/22/2023 i dont eat much, down 15 pounds, i have issues with sleep. have a real hard time up most of the day and night. very depressed, and miss him so much, i have flash backs of the early morning when he had his cardiac arrest then died at the hospital. We were together for 43 years .I miss him so much
I was just reading your reply and can so totally relate. My husband of 42 years just passed January 9, 2024. His picture is what shows up on my post as our phones were somehow linked. He died of heart attack at the emergency room early that morning. It’s been hard. I’ve lost weight too and have physical symptoms along with a lot of fear of everything. Pray for me and I will pray for you ❤🙏
Feeling my husband’s presence in the house, many signs spiritually telepathic communication helped me with my husband’s transition. Married 53 yrs. Still miss loss of physical touch!
The immediate physical symptom that caught me off guard was a total loss of taste. Even salty soup tasted like water. Next, was the incredible fear and shaking, coming out of nowhere. Also, tremendous exhaustion, heart palpitations, and shortness of breath. Now, at six months after the loss of my husband, I’m experiencing insomnia, night after night.
Cognitive impairment, loss of appetite, forgot what else I was going to say.
Thank you this was EXTREMELY helpful wow!!!!! *big sigh of relief* it’s so assuring to hear that other people ALSO feel like they’re losing their minds, can’t sleep/ eat/ forget to hydrate etc.
This was really assuring for me thank you
My mom passed away 12/12/23 😢 when she was passing.
I had muscle spasms in my rib cage. I’ve never experienced that before. Followed by that I also had a tension headache in my head & my shoulders.😢 it days later and I’m still having headaches. I cry on and off. I can be ok all day and little reminders of her pulls the tears out all over again. 😢tomorrow I’m picking up her ashes. I just know I’m going to be in a puddle of tears 😭 😢
I swear im loosing my mind. Its been so hard. My husband passed away in july from cancer. Thank you for letting us know its part of the normal grief process. I wont make any important decisions until i find it ❤❤
I lost my wife 21mos. Ago. We were together for 45 years. I thought I was on my way building my new life but then a few weeks ago I was back in grief mostly feeling low for feeling the loneliness and uncertainty. My blood pressure is high. I’m fit! It’s complete surprise.
I lost my son suddenly last June. I've never felt grief like this b4. Still feeling like it happened yesterday. If not worse.
I lost my 23-year old son four years ago, he was in heart failure from a virus, and nobody knew it, including him. He just collapsed, and was gone. My daughter, EMT trained, and my son in law could not get him back. It still feels like yesterday. I still expect him to walk out of his room and tell me a funny story. I still wait for a text. I still think ‘I have to tell him about that!’ when something funny happens. I still cannot believe he is gone. And I still blame myself. I don’t know if I will always feel like this. I just try to survive a day at a time for my spouse and my other children, who are grieving and blaming themselves, too. It’s all I can do. I am so sorry you are also going through this, I wish I could help you. The only advice I can give is to just breathe. Stick with people who love you and understand. Don’t burden yourself with unrealistic expectations, and for heavens sake, avoid the people who think there’s a time limit on grief. Be kind to yourself, if you can.
Thank you ! My mom passed in 11/2022 and my life has changed so much since this day. It’s been a wave up and down and stress at work and grieving became to much .. I just quit my job of 23yrs on 1/19 with no real plan, Except to live my best life here on out. I have not researched grief videos and today this video was in my feed … so I thank you for sharing and I thank my mom for sending it ❤️.
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I lost my mom too
I lost my mom last November too!
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I also lost my mom 08/2021 and still dealing with it good and bad days, like a wave as you described.
Meditation, deep breathing and being outdoors in nature helps me.
I just lost my mom 2 weeks ago. I lost my dad 4 weeks ago, and my brother a year and a half ago. I am tired and I feel injured and altered. When will this go away. I just wish my life was normal again 😢
My first husband was narcissistic, blaming and created crisis after crisis in our lives. There was never any peace. Later I had eight wonderful years with my late spouse before Alzheimer's started appearing. Then came six frightening, exhausting years when I single-handedly shut down our lives, sold our property, got rid his hoarded stuff, packed up the rest, and drove us 750 miles to another home where I took care of him. I got adrenal fatigue which has healed. With yoga, meditation, walking, salsa lessons, coaching, and volunteering in our new community, I've improved my health a great deal and started a new life, but fear is always with me now. He was a big guy, cherished me like no one else ever did, and made me feel so safe. That's gone now. It's been a year and a half since his death, and I'm preparing to date again. I'm looking for someone of like size and character, who'll grow to feel towards me as he did. I'm more comfortable on my own now, but fear remains a quiet presence in my life now.
If your going through a tough time in life, just know you are a perfect human being just the way you are, and so many people love you from afar, and are rooting for you even if you don't know them. People love and care about your grief.
I love your videos- they have helped me tremendously. My husband passed in December and I began watching your videos at the end of December. They have helped me over many hurdles and I still try to watch at least one a day even if they repeat I have recommended you to several people because I love your approach of getting through grief. Good luck and keep the channel going.
The physical grief symptoms that surprised me the most, have been the ones that repeatedly show up every year on the anniversary of the death. Without going into too much personal detail, I will say that the symptoms affect 2 major organs & it takes weeks to clear up the symptoms.
This is a common but painful experience for many who have lost someone they loved and cherished. If along eith the grieving you can also turn the anniversary into gratitude for the years you had and celebrate the life s/he had, I do think you will find the anniversaries less painful.
When our second baby died during birth, we celebrated the fact that we had her for a short while and knew that her existence would/could hejp us to understand and help others. We released balloons with our 3 yr old daughter. That even helped her a bit because, at the time of our baby's death, she was affected as well. Today I wouldn't release balloons, but another ritual could be as meaningful. May you find a way to accomplish handling these anniversaries with some joy as well.
One more comment, the hardest day for me after the initial loss was the day she would have started kindergarten. I cried most of the day.
Lost my wife 2 weeks ago..heartbroken and experiencing all of these symptoms of profound grief. People tell me "be strong" or " you are strong, you'll get through this. Well, I sure don't feel strong and though they mean well, you can't just "be strong" like turning on a light. I hope that I can get something out of this that will help the process. Thank you for doing this video.
Wish he would walk through the door. Of course, it had been a long time since he could do that. He used a power chair for a few years. He was so ill for so long and I wished he and I could be free. It would be a blessing if he could peacefully leave this behind. It would not be peaceful. He finished with terrible medical care that even worsened his pain by breaking four ribs with twice CPR his last week. We had 54 years, many of the latter years trying to keep him comfortable. He choked, grimaced and went suddenly in my arms after four hours at home in a "hospice" bed that fell apart the first time we tried to adjust it for him. It's been eight months. I am not free, I don't see free, I don't feel free. I feel heavy sad. People say I will get better, but I am not the same anymore.
Twelve years after our dear sweet granddaughter died we still grieve.
I gain and lose 30 pds, life hasn’t been the same and my body feels the grief.
This is ALL SO VERY TRUE! I applied all of these( especially square breathing) and I am 13 years out from my husband’s sudden death. He was only 61.
I lost my son 5 weeks ago. Our relationship was very distraught. He was going very fast and had a fatal car crash that killed him instantly and killed the person he hit. I had tried to resolve our relationship but he died and I’m lost and so overwhelmed. I’m feeling extreme grief and loss.
Allow yourself time to work through it. It sounds like you did all he allowed you to do to reconcile.
5:24 I never had a tummy issue in my life. Then my 14 year old son, Branson, passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. I have been just about bedridden by stomach ache. Crippling pain for an entire year now. I still have to work and be a Mommy. It hurts on every level 😢. You help me immensely Jo. THANK YOU ❤
All of those factors apply to me.I was an 'empath' but for now self care is all important.
My recent grief involved an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. I’ve never had this much anxiety ever before. I was Waking up in the middle of the night absolutely terrified. I started using CBD oil and gummies and I did find some relief. I also focused on listening to calming music, meditating and breathing.
My mother's death hit me hard, I ended up with a bad case of shingles. I definitely had to do breath work. Constantly reminding myself to breath throughout the day. I had a real hard time sleeping, ears rang loud. Thank you for this video. Very helpful.
My brain seems to be broken for sure. Fearful living has not been my way of responding to life circumstances. But since years of traumatic events, capped by the death of my husband happened, I find myself suspicious, unable to enter into society as I once was......I don't trust. I'm not looking for any easy solutions, though my body and brain seem also to be sharing wisdom when I'm able to follow along with simplicity. Movement and music helps me. I dance in my own style. This helps
I just found your video. My husband dropped dead unexpectedly about 1 1/2 months ago. We were married for 52 years. We weren’t one of those huggie lovey couples, but we were always there for each other. We talked things over. If one of us was bothered about something we talked about it. Now I’m lost. I did think I was losing my mind. I put something down and then I turn around and I can’t find it. I’m scared. I’m going to be living on half of the income we had before. I think I’ll be ok, but the “what if’s” keep me on edge. I don’t have any family. I do have wonderful friends and neighbors, but it’s not the same. I think I might be in freeze mode. I just want this to be over. I wish there was a timeline for grief so I would know where I am in this process. I just want to be done with it and logically, I know that’s stupid. I know I’m just in the beginning. I like to sew, but I haven’t been near my machine since this happened. I’m gaining weight. I try to eat one healthy meal a day, and then I pick. I intend to continue watching your videos. I believe there’s a lot to learn from them. Thank you.
I now realize I am not going crazy , it’s just natural reaction from my body .., I have found breathing deeply when overwhelmed with emotions to help
After losing my job with covid, I lost 2 siblings, my younger sister to Als and my brother to a stroke, a few days apart from each other. I froze inside!. This was 2 years ago I am starting to acknowledge it. No support whatsoever. I am Ok but still understand that is a long process!
I’m so very sorry for your loss
I lost my sister to ALS a year ago, and found myself disinterested in everything, and becoming a recluse, with absolutely no interest in seeing or talking to anyone. If a friend called, I didn't answer my phone, and most friends eventually gave up trying to call. (They couldn't stop by because none of my close friends live in my area anymore.)
Eventually, after about 13 months, I began calling these friends and apologizing, fearful that they wouldn't want to talk to me, or even be friends with me anymore. If course, no one or nothing can replace my sister, but reaching out to my friends and reestablishing my friendships was one of the best things i could do for myself. Things are still very hard, but this one thing, at least helped somewhat.
I'm so pleased you are spending time with friends now. Your sister would only want for you to be happy❤
Lost my older sister to cancer 6 years ago and continue to do all the things she enjoyed as a way of keeping her memory alive. I know she wants me to thrive and be happy❤
My Mom passed in January 2023. My first symptom was shallow breathing. Then a sense of surrealness. I have a lot of brain fog. Also, I'm losing interest in doing things I used to enjoy.
To be honest I have and still do experience all of these. I’ve been in a seriously stressful situation since 2006. I won’t go into details right now but it’s truly been the hardest 23 yrs and I’m doing everything I can learn to do to help me heal. I’ve made some progress for sure but now facing a probable diagnosis of dementia with my husband, I still have much to face. I’ve felt my life is totally out of control so much that I know I have things to still learn and apply. I will share that often i will have repetitive dreams about things that have caused pain. Last night I had a dream that settled one of the big hurts that caused my husband’s stroke and devastated me. I was truly freed once I meditated on the dream and it all made so much sense.
I lost my son 10 months ago and went through all that and still do not as often as in the beginning but still do a lot.
Limbic system commentary seems bang on. My loss has caused me to lose interest in most things and I am very much inside my own head. I am just starting to eat a little better now but in the first month, I almost forgot to eat and drink completely. This is month two and I still feel like my Limbic system is still on overdrive. I lose hours each day stuck in my own thoughts. Standing outside and listening to the sounds of the outdoors seems to free me from this cycle; its comforting and reminds me that I am not left on the planet alone. Sounds of nature have a big influence on me. Music, and certain locations and even pieces of clothing are triggers for me--they show up without warning and I feel like I go into high alert-panic, despair, failure and those are exhausting to deal with and make my head hurt. So, bottom line, the outdoors are a good re-set for me while I go through the worst of this. I now understand that this will be a long journey.
I have been diagnosed with double depression and while being in a very severe episode, I lost my mother, baby (I don't have children, it is a Yorkie) en the very next day my brother in a four month period - that was in 2019. I was then also diagnosed with complicated bereavement (freeze in grief). I have lost many things in the process, I have always had very bad eating habbits (probably started with the chronic depression), my executive functioning has been impacted on, I have a huge struggle with short term memory, lost interest in all things I enjoyed in the past, have a very short span of interest in what I am doing, so flitter from thing to the next without purpose. I have had panick attacks, excrutiating physical pain caused by the emotional pain, been hospitalized, use medication, still go for councilling, attended grief and depression support groups. I left work in 2022 and each year passing is a bigger struggle to survive - feel I should have died as I cannot live life like this, has had a suicide attemp, have permanent anxiety, etc. I have 1 sibling left who lives walking distance from me and our relationship is basically non existent (another loss) due to him not understanding what I am going through, does not want to know anything about it and consider me creating dramas in my life, which I should stop doing. Between the chronic depression and the severe episodes, with the bereavement thrown in between , I am not who I was before, don't want to be the me I am now, and do not foresee anything to change in my life with the permanent intense emotional pain. I am aware that many of these symptoms of depression and bereavement overlap, which might also be the reason why I feel everything more intensely. It seems that there are very little if any research on someone who is already in double depression and then experience multimal losses in a short time.
Yes grieve feels like a fear and you have made me too see that now because suddenly i feel fearful and my breathing is shallow and also am more worried about myself and loved ones
I am Soooo Surprised ...I didn't think I was Grieving because my 93 yr.old Mom is Still Alive...but when I talked to my Pastor about my Depression, she said I was "Grieving". Well, I was so upset and than Denied it, of course. (LOL) But after watching a few of your videos, I see that I am suffering with Grief. WOW !!! Well, the Good News is that I'm NOT going Crazy :D
Thank You for being Brave enough to talk about this Unmentionable Topic. I'm trying to be more Understanding of others as well as myself who are grieving.
Side note - Our oldest Cat "Boo-Boo" past away 2 nights ago...SO SAD !!! :(
you are not alone, I also grieved for my mother when she was still alive, but had Alzheimer's. My cat passed away 2 weeks ago and I miss him so much. Hugs to you
People often don't know that we have circumstances when we do grieve in advance. They don't know that we can go through a process of accepting any outcome. This is what I have come to recognize in myself.
•The best example was when my son was told he would deploy to Afghanistan in 2012. Between then and his leave date, I would often be ambushed by scenes of getting a call that he had been hurt badly. That injury might lead to losing him by death, metaphorically by losing his mental capabilities, by losing him if he took his own life. He is my only son and we were very close. But, the day he left, I was calm. I had accepted all the possibilities and prayed he would come home intact. •While he was on deployment, people would ask me how I was doing. I was mindful of the horrific gunfights he was in, but certainly had no word from him about the context of his life. We only talked by phone and he could not say much. But the day he called and said he would not be available for about five days, I knew he was in danger. Even that news didn't throw me into a tailspin. •The day he called to tell me that he had been injured when he was hit by a mortar, still I was calm.
•So, I would tell people not to worry about me. He was the one to be thinking of. He was the one who lived each day knowing that within one second, he could be gone. He was the one living in fear of his life. I left my grief and worry behind and focused on praying for him to be a good soldier. •Had he been KIA, of course, Idk how I would have handled it. I might have been angry for the rest of my life. I might have grieved more as time went by as other commenters have said they did. •My point is that it is possible to prepare and grieve in advance of a real or potential loss. It lessens the inner worry until the day of living or die happens.
In 2011 my sister died unexpectedly, 4yrs later my mum also died unexpectedly too - I had a young pup at the time and because of him I was able to get up each morning and walk, everyday twice a day. I spoke to another dog walker and she listened to me. However at the time I was having acupuncture for migraines and I told her about my mother and she said, you’ve not grieved yet, because you have so much to do you’ve not had time to grieve. My appointment that day concentrated on this, she told me to go home, don’t go anywhere not even walk the dog, go home and rest. I went home, cried inconsolably for an hour and slept a solid 2hrs. After that I had my first full nights sleep in 3 months, and didn’t wake up at 4am for a very long time after that. It’s not for everyone but it really helped me.
My mom died in 2021 and I think I was just feeling like I was gaining control. Even though all our parents were in nursing homes I was visiting everyday. My mother in law died April of 2023 and my dad just passed in September 😢😢. So much on my plate! Now I am visiting my father in law everyday in the same nursing home my dad was. It’s hard
Jo, you learn as you go with your channel. Please don't be so hard on yourself ❤️. Don't forget to throw in a few shorts. It's the new thing. I'm not a fan, but I think it gets your channel out there. I'm sensitive to background music. It drowns out the talking but I would like to tell you, the music in your videos never bothered me one bit 🤗. I am so glad you started your channel in May. My son passed in May and you have been instrumental to guiding me through this painful journey. Branson was only 14 and died suddenly 😔
Thank you for the explanation of the symptoms. I am grieving the loss of relationship with my daughter due to parental alienation. The worst is the shallow breathing, the crying spells, isolation…
😢yes 😢yes😢yes, sitting blank , denial no crying , no control emotionally
Very good explanation of the brain parts with their functions. I am going through the one year anniversary if my mother's death. I am noticing more physical symptoms now than even the holidays. Breathing helps and also grounding. I have watched your videos this past year and appreciate them very much.
💕💕💕 I lost my mom too
I definitely stopped feeling joy in things I previously did. I didn't want to do anything that was going to distract. I definitely felt that "the intake of breath when it happens becomes the limit of your breath." I couldn't take a deep breath for a month. I also had no concentration. I think the lack on interest in things was the most unexpected because I thought I would want to distract myself but couldn't. Grief definitely also made me feel unsafe, and when I said that to a therapist they reacted like that I was weird and meant there was something wrong with me.
My biggest challenge right now is getting a fit full night of sleep. Ever since my husband left me 1 1/2 years ago I have not slept well. I wake up about 2 or 2:15 am ( about the time I got the call from the hospital that he was in trouble and I should come in). Initially I would cry my eyes out, but now my mind races through so many thoughts ( did I pay this bill, what if so and so happens, etc.). Sometimes I wake up thinking I heard the phone ring or my husband calling. I don’t get back to sleep for any length of time. When I do eventually get up the rest of my day is a washout. Don’t feel like doing much at all. I know this will eventually pass,but it can be really a struggle some days (and nights.
Me too, I understand completely.
My mom passed away almost a year ago January 3rd i was finding it difficult to eat and sleep went to a doctor a psychiatrist he prescribed medicine and this helped so did this➡️ua-cam.com/video/U6Ay9v7gK9w/v-deo.html praying for both you and your moms soul i hope you are recovering sending you prayers light love and may God bless you and your mom with his grace
My husband of 39 years passed away a little over a year and a half ago. I still can’t sleep. I wake up around 2:00 am stare at the ceiling and can’t fall back asleep. I start thinking of my husband and start crying. I feel like my day is shot then. I understand completely what you are feeling.😢😢
Breathing became more of an issue. At first, I thought it was asthma symptoms but it turned out to be panic attacks.
I also had issues with sleeping, not to mention making decisions.
In the very early days and weeks, I did not have much of an appetite.
Just lost my husband 3 weeks ago. We were together 37 years. My grief is so unbearable I don't know if I can live with it too much longer. It's just way too painful... I sure hope I can make it less soon ! I don't want to and can't live like that !
I understand perfectly how you are feeling, I lost my husband in November of this year just 5 days after my birthday. Life has not been the same my world has ended on top of this I just lost my job as well. I cannot live with this anxiety for another day nothing brings me peace or comfort. Believe me I understand how you are feeling
I lost my husband on 30 th October 2023 after 36 years together 😢 ,I understand you perfectly it ,s so so hard
You are so helpful with your advice & suggestions. I have watched many of your videos. Listening to your videos makes me feel validated in my grief. Lost my husband in 2021 from Amyloidosis, with no cure in sight he lived 4 years beyond what was expected. We were married for 54 yrs! I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress in grieving & I do have a support team but I feel like they think that I should be doing better. My biggest challenge has been isolation. It’s easier to stay home because I don’t have to make conversation or fake being myself.
Thank you for your videos & for listening to me.
Thank you for reposting. My nephew transitioned unexpectedly, he made the decision. My grief/fear is something that comes and goes in waves. At times I feel ready to go back to work, and then I back out because my mind needs to be sharp for my type of work. I’m afraid of triggers, because when something comes up, I turn into a big mess. Trying to grieve myself but at the same time, trying to be present for my children to grieve also. Thank you for all that you shared, everything makes sense.
I totally feel the same. Tried to work and my brain failed and I resigned. Tried to be with people and cracked in unexpected moments. As for the waves, I seem to relive all the supposed stages in circles. The children needing and giving support is my world, too. A loving family is so precious!
Lost my beautiful daughter to suicide December 19, 2022. I have so much guilt I didn't catch any cues of her intentions or cutting. She was an excellent student, top 5% of her class, always happy, and friendships. I'm a nervous wreck, don't go out to see people. I:m crying all the time. I am glad I found your video to give me a sense of normal. I am definitely feeling all of those states. Thank you.
I am so sorry Rosa I have no words and I hope God comforts you with prayer
❤when people decide on suicide there are often very few signs- please do not blame yourself. Your daughter will be at peace now and only wish for her loved ones to be happy. I've lost many loved ones and this is what helps get me through- knowing that the last thing they would want would be for those they leave behind to be unhappy. It is natural to feel devastated and grief is complicated. It will take time but please allow yourself to slowly enjoy life again. Self care is hugely important- treat yourself as you would a close loved one❤
6 months in trauma therapy and found out my beloved 11 year old Akita is terminal. I fell off track with all of the work I was doing when we got her diagnosis. I think my limbic system is totally in control and understand what I need to do. Giving myself as much grace as i can.
I feel fear. I haven’t stopped shaking since this nightmare began. 😢
My Son died July 2022. I have no interest in the outside world. Travel, live music, fishing used to excite me. I feel like I physically cannot summon the interest or motivation to do any of these things. I’m also very forgetful
Turning in and no interest in anything outwith myself, so true
I come back to hear you talk about grief as if it was the first time. Your kind words are a gentle strength in my darkness. Thank you Jo. Edward.
This video was a true blessing. You have such an amazing way of breaking down all that is going on in our body and brain to create a much better understanding of what all is happening when we grieve. Makes so much sense. I believe this video will be helpful to many. Many thanks!!
Losing my mind in all the exact ways you describe lasted 10 months for me. I was afraid it was dimentia and started therapy. I have questioned everyone, from the first hours, is mourning fear? Noone knew what I was talking about. Thank you for the excellent explanation. Instinctively, I have done all the things you recommend and all of them helped, but, my feelings are frozen and I need help.
Hi T Woods I received your message I am sorry you truly know how I feel. We give them everything and that's what they take with them when they go. I have to believe heaven is a beautiful place. I now have no fear of dying.
Thank you for re-posting. I lost my hubby 4 years ago this past May. I pray every morning a prayer of thanksgiving for one more day and one more night of feeling safe and free from fear. I have many angels in my life, and YOU are one of these angels. 🌷
I lost my husband of almost 29 years to dementia just 3 days before Christmas, 2023. One month ago today. Either I’m numb, and just drifting through the day, or I’m falling apart. My pain is soooooo physical! I can’t breathe, I have chest pain at times, I can’t taste food and liquids make me feel like I’m going to vomit. I feel like I’m in a permanent fog, and thinking feels impossible. Even the things you mention here feels like way more than I can handle right now. I’m spending all my energy just trying to get through each day, often a moment at a time. I wake up in tears every morning, because I realize I’m still here- and he’s not. And my day usually stays in that general mode for the whole time. I feel like I’m losing it. 💔
My father passed away last month, before this he was in hospice for three months. I am so devastated. I prepared myself for what was to come. Afterwards I realized I stuffed a lot of my feelings to get through the hospice. I have had a lot of physical implications with sleep blood pressure and memory. Thank you for the tips. I really appreciate your videos. They have helped me very much.
Thanks for the video I lost my mum 4 years ago and my hubby 3years now this really hits me especially when am in these months June and July. The symptoms talked about they are all on me. Hope to come out of them all.
Thank you miss Jo. My only daughter Katie died suddenly from pneumonia and cardiac arrest in my car on the way to er on march 28. We were so close. Actually telepathically connected when we were states apart. I have autoimmune diseases and flares disabled and hospitalized me several times this year. I can’t sleep more than 3 hours a night with the aid of a sleeping pill. I have no appetite or thirst triggers so hospitalizations for that. I’m a home health aid to a disabled vet. I put one foot in front of other. No family anymore. So yes to all your insights. Especially waking up in consuming fear and panic and I don’t know why
Thank you so much for a great session of counseling grief. I lost my husband of 49 years four months ago. I’m having all those symptoms you mentioned including sleep disturbances and horrible dreams. Grief is a new world that I got into, so difficult and painful. Appreciate helping me to minimize or reduce texting and responding, it’s been a heavy weight 😢😮on my shoulders, and people DONT UNDERSTAND. I’ll take ur word and stop or minimize texting and follow ups it’s draining my energy. God bless you!!
I lost my father 3 weeks ago. I’ve been in a state of ‘now what?’
I feel numb & disoriented at times.
I’ve kept busy tending to tasks that need to be done ie: funeral planning (cremation), banking, sale of home & prep etc.
I think I’ve balanced all fairly well (making time for myself in the evenings).
My appetite has returned, I’m drinking water & my sleep is pretty good. I will be returning to work in a month.
Trying to make the most of this time off (self care/cleaning/organizing).
Main concern: Christmas.
Not sure what I will do …
Slowly evolving - I hope to continue to heal.
Using ‘one day at a time’ as my guide 🙏
I’ve noticed that most everyone is talking about death of someone close. But what about grieving over a child’s loss of dreams or accidents or medical treatments that leave you forever changed and coping with their brokenness? What about Loss that is not death but loss of quality of life or loss of emotional peace and circumstance?
I think we know as people, but it so helps to hear a reminder, especially when you're grieving alone. Ty