How to Stop Ruminating (5 Step Process to Stop)
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- Опубліковано 6 гру 2021
- 5 Steps to Stop Ruminating. Rumination is a painful mind state, and it can occupy a huge amount of our brain power. Learn the 5 steps to stop rumination for the long term.
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This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via UA-cam, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.
I believe people who are very honest and sensitive can have this problem.
Rumination is like not being able to get a song out of your head which keeps playing over and over again.
I ruminated for years, eventually ended up in severe depression and anxiety. Fortunately someone taught me this lesson and with acknowledgement and work, as she said, over time I recognized it and stopped myself from doing it. It’s been over twenty years and I am still very grateful.
How is your anxiety now
This just put the biggest smile on my face, i hope i make it to that stage in life where i stop ruminating.
How did you stop it?
It's encouraging to see that you can get through it. I'm at the beginning stage still.
😊😊😊😊
1) Recognise when you're ruminating and fully accept is not helpful.
2)Label it.
3)Set aside time to focus on the solution.
4)Recognise how self focused rumination is
5) Interventions:Healthy supportive relation with a friend,a family member or a therapist-Mindfulness meditation leaves no room for rumination-Also singing-Physical activity(playing with your dog, exercise, skiing )
Great summary!
Thank you so much for this part.
Rumination happens to me when my narcissistic supervisor and her flying monkeys are in full swing.
Very helpful
Pls help me.! The me loop! It's 24/7, It was retirement related, I realized I really didn't want to retire !! And I did, and cannot return. Horrible depression, anxiety, stress... and Ruminating the coulda shouda wouldas.!! life was special to me,..... now its not. Ruminating this event over n over is quicksand!
I was diagnosed with OCD with Rumination a few months ago. This video is GOLD, I am so grateful. I am 58 and cannot remember a time when I didn’t Ruminate. For the first time ever I can truly see an end to it ……. So exciting - thank you.
I used to ruminate a lot , and it would just make me feel worse. I'm glad I can shift my focus on other things that can bring solutions and peace instead of constantly remain in the mindless loop. Great video!
Awesome! AND thank you for giving others hope that this CAN BE CHANGED!
I need to know how to shift my focus. What do you shift your focus to?
@@Lauriet807 first off I start by realizing that ruminating serves me no purpose whatsoever. It’s just a waste of time and detrimental to my health. If I’m ruminating about something I did I forgive myself and if it’s something I can fix I solve the problem. If it’s something I need to work towards I make a plan and take action! 🙂
@@BarbaraHeffernan u
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@@Lauriet807I even learned to start naming things around me.
There is a Blue Carpet and the walls are Purple and there is a Window where I can see the Green Grass, etc.
Your brain can’t Ruminate and name at the same time. 😊
Great advice! I have a terrible problem with rumination. I still kick myself for small, silly things that happened 20-30 years ago. I know it’s ridiculous, but I’ve always been that way. Two things have helped me tremendously in recent years. As you mentioned, living in the present and not the past is really important. What helped me even more is advice I found to FORGIVE YOURSELF! It doesn’t mean you can do mean or terrible things with no consequences. It just means giving yourself a break. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgiving myself almost has a mystical power that seems to lift a weight off my shoulders. It doesn’t completely go away, but it seems to be diminishing in frequency and intensity. As you said, continuing to interrupt that pattern seems to work.
My rumination is to do with losing my career and home and the trauma around that. It’s extremely difficult to deal with the grief, loss, betrayal and ptsd
🙏for you!! It too lost my career job, etc... Im unable to stop the ruminating on the coulda shouda wouldas!! I cannot get back my life,..
My rumination goes on and on. I tried singing I tried climbing talking to other people working with my hands and so on. There is a level of rumination where it is an severe desiase on its own.
I feel the same.!! It's horrible and if you altered your life! As I did..... it doesn't stop!, and it's quicksand... I try to get help.. but only talk of what I ruminate on... this sucks! And now have depression, and the other red flags. Hope we get well .
I thought I was crazy but now I think I was obessing over things I couldn't control. Which is kinda crazy. I feel so much better like I found the cure.
So great to hear you are feeling better! Identifying the problem can really help… and no, this isn’t crazy - so many of us do it! But it isn’t helpful and can be so freeing once one is able to let go of rumination!
@@BarbaraHeffernanThank you so much for this video.
I realize I wasn't comfortable with the present so I allowed my mind to wander. I would let my mind take a break from what I deemed stressful, or boring... Problem with doing that is I ended up stuck in auto pilot.
And it's scary when your mind is stuck in auto pilot, because you've made it so comfortable escaping problems or boredom by allowing it to ruminate.
I literally would go from 1 thought to another thought after another.
But now I learnt how to quiet the mind, it's by accepting all thoughts of stress and boredom without judgment. And then I ask myself what is something better that I can think or feel.
Now the mind has to think of something better to think or feel.
Funny thing is it quietly does it,
but since I had some traumas my mind would comes up with some more nonsense. So then I accept the thought again and say what's a better way I can think or feel.
Honestly it's crazy that I unknowingly programmed my rumination from how I viewed my past traumas, thoughts of boredom or feelings about myself.
The present has never been bad, boring, or something to escape.
I just didn't know I could choose to look at every present moment as something to be enjoyed. Because something good has always been in all of my present moments.
I'm so glad I found your channel. Thank you so much and God Bless you Barbara
Drawing and painting with watercolors helps me get to mindfulness and away from rumination.
Thank you for your videos.
I realize I've been doing this since childhood and I used to think it was my superpower. I guess that was my child brain trying to deal with the abuse in my household.
I've carried it into adulthood and it made me practically a wizard at work but emotionally I was a disaster on legs, and now it makes so much more sense.
Thank you for opening my eyes, and giving me a plan to get past this. ❤
I feel the same, thank you for sharing ❤❤
My problem with ruminating is at sleep time and I’ve had severe insomnia all my life and I’m 63! I’ve never slept well and now I’m ruminating on me getting dementia. Ugh. I didn’t know the word rumination until 2 days ago, didn’t know it was A “thing”. I thought I was nuts. What a relief knowing it’s somewhat common.
Thanks very much very enlightening!
Im stuck ruminating right now and it is so hard to get out of. I recently have been battling serious health problems and on disability. Last year the veil was lifted and I am trying so hard to try and push past this stage but I keep having waves of deep grief and sadness. Especially when my family who I thought was close and I was always there for them has never came to visit me even after my surgeries. For some reason I keep feeling like I did something wrong or I am a bad person. I am so grateful I know what I know now but its hust so damn painful. I know I will be stronger after this all passes. Thank you so much for this video!
I feel like crying whenever I watch any ocd video, because for years I thought I was weird it was a phase and I cry of joy when I see any ocd video saying EXACTLY what I feel
This is SOO ME!! I ruminate about Everything especially WORK!!
I just started this video, and I know I need it. I’ve been living with two narcissists and something very traumatic happened to me this summer because of them and I’m having a lot of problems getting over it. There’s no apologies or acknowledgments with these people. They seem to just carry on as long as no one else knows what they did, I’m the one with the problem. I’m excited to let it all go.
Wishing you health and healing...
Oh my goodness. This video is amazing. I have ADHD and never knew about this problem. This morning I realised i have negative repetitive thoughts and maybe there is a solution and came access this video. Just knowing the label is life changing. I didn't realise how much I am doing this, it is consuming my life . Now I have a plan to reduce it. Thank you
One thing I found helpful would be saying to myself "who am I talking to right now". This would stop rumination.
I would have full on conversations in my head to myself, potential future conversations, or past experiences.
Wonderful! Thank you for sharing this tip - it might be helpful to others!
Unconsciously ruminate a lot about the past, I am sure this simple steps practised regularly can definitely fix the problem. Thank you 🙏
I’ll never forget when I first identified the me loop with my therapist. For me, it’s always been known as the octopus ride at the carnival. Round and round and round. We need to get off that ride asap! Because when you stay on it too long, you get sick!
I'm ruminating about ruminating. It's got me so stuck. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. I have social anxiety and I'm thinking my antidepressants are no longer working. It's exhausting. Thanks for the video.
How are you doing now? I found it helpful to do easy and pleasant things to change my story
Very helpful. I often spin my wheels trying to figure out where my anxious and depressive symptoms are coming from because I have a very good life (job, partner, family, friends etc). Never thought that the cause of my emotions could simply be that I am giving them too much attention via ruminating on them.
Wow! This is such a well-worded insight! I imagine others might resonate with it!
Qa
Exactly me!!! This is perfectly worded!!!
Thank you for sharing this profound video
I too am very depressed and I can't understand why. I have a good life and I'm in near perfect health and I"m 75 yrs old.
When the grief, loss, shame, betrayal, confusion and traumatic memories are overwhelming, rumination is impossible for me to control.
Lost a meaningful job and career and my home. Bullied and gaslit for months, my confidence shattered, my heart smashed
I have this very bad and its all about work. I care so much about succeeding and have this daily. I'm almost always in a depressive state because of it. Im certainly going to try and follow these tips. Thank you so much.
I love your term, "the me loop." It's the perfect catch phrase to check myself and quickly shift my focus, without falling into negative emotions. I love your videos, dear Barbara. Thank you.
😊 I love this expression as well! Thanks for letting me know how meaningful it was for you!
I will listen to you every day because I am learning how to help myself and not to ruminate and feel that i am trapped.
You are so generous that you are sharing your wonderful job with us. You are amazing and everything you are saying is very straight forward.
I am so grateful that I discovered you. I am recovering from my neck and shoulders pain because I am leaving how to relax and let go. Thanks so much Barbara.
Be blessed forever and always 🙏❣💞
I used to have horrible neck and shoulder pain due to stress. Still do but to a smaller degree but much better now.
Ironically, watching endless self help videos on UA-cam is part of the ruminations process 🙃
Oh no!!
Thank you very much for sharing your experience with rumination. Fifty+ years ago, when I was a small boy, I had trouble falling asleep. I sucked my thumb and held a blanket to help comfort me. Still, I recall being filled with terror because I couldn't fall asleep and, as a result, would miss the school bus in the morning. Today, I don't ruminate about that happening, but other past events, relationships, perceived or actual slights, resentments, regrets, you name it. People have always characterized me as an "overthinker." The thing of it is, is that this state of mind comes and goes and usually coincides with Depression. The "me loop" is incredibly painful and unproductive. I'll check out your other videos and do more research on what you have shared here. Thank you again.
I just want to say thank you for this UA-cam. I now realise I have permission to stop regularly thinking and checking over something that happened a long time ago and in many ways had been dealt with. I wondered why my mind kept going to it especially in recent years during retirement and lock down where I’ve got less to think about. I wondered if I had OCD, today I’m saying to myself “no need to ruminate” and I can put it aside. Understanding the science of it has really helped me, I feel free of the burden of constantly thinking I had to go on a big loop all around the history of it only to get to the same conclusion every time.
Thank you! This is the most helpful video I ever watched about this topic! I'm truly grateful to you for having posted it, I'll most certainly share it. 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you making this video, I learned the term Rumination that describes my problem precisely. Singing works for me, I didn't even think of it as an intervention until now.
For me it has been living life in a ‘Defense’. Mind is more worried about protecting than living.
Learning new dance moves helps me.
The fact that you can recognize that your mind is stuck in 'protective mode' is half the battle to growth toward changing it to focus on 'living mode' instead 😊
It's great that you can find something to help you. I love singing and I feel deeply when I sing. I sing when I want to change my thinking patterns but sometimes there are songs that I sing which remind me of something negative. Sometimes it's less, sometimes it's more. Hopefully this fades over time.
i have been doing this on and off for 30 years, it makes me so mad when I think of the years of wasted time. But I just can't stop it.
I have develop my observer mind so much...thanks to your channel...and today i observed my rumination...so i came back for more. Thank you, Dr, your channel has transformed my life...and your kind and gentil...thank you🤗❤
Thank you,very clear.
This is really solid advice to give in just 15 mins, thank you so much for creating content like this.
I have horrible rumination mainly over deaths and what I should have done differently
Same..how have you been coping??
Hi Barbara. Your videos have been very helpful to me to better understand the constant state of worry and anxiety that I’ve been under the past year.
Great advice, I found it very helpful. Thanks for posting
Hi Barbara, I just wanted to express my gratitude for this extraordinary helpful video. Ive been stuck and most unhappy for the majority of the past couple years and the tips in this video are lifechanging. Identifying the rumination and labeling it as unhelpful allows me to not identify with the thoughts, and eventually releasing them. Truly has brought a relief i have been fighting so hard to find. Thank you thank you thank you ♥️
Thank you!!!! This helped me so much!!! I have a lot of work to do, but this even gave me some immediate relief!!!
WOW!! I stumbled upon this,at a specific time and all I can say is, WOW!
Thank you 🙏 I've subscribed!🎉
This was helpful 👍☺️
Very useful! Thank you. I might even write these down so I don’t forget and will look at them when ruminating
My greetings from Morocco..You are really a competent mental health professional.A wonderful orator.Your knowledge helps me to help myself
Barbara, thank you for your very clear explanations. I learned recently from yt therapists about the damaging thought pattern of rumination. Yes as you say it is quite a painful thing we do to ourselves. I've been gradually able to recognize when I'm doing it. Knowing it's hurting me gives me a good reason to stop. I think, well yes that situation or that person did hurt me, but I lived it once, do I really have to relive it over and over again!! And losing brain cells in the process!! I tell myself, quit taking the poison😐 I very much liked your advice to turning the mind over thinking of positive pursuits instead of bad things that happened. I'll have to think of the process like automatically switching the channel😀 And setting aside a specific time of the day to think about problems with a view to thinking about any positive and realistic solutions. I will keep trying to reject the mindless and harmful ruminating! Thank you very much! 😃
Loved this video, thanks Barbara
You are so welcome!
Very helpful videos thanks for your wisdom and for sharing and help us😊
Thanks Barbara for a terrific video. So well explained.
You are so welcome!
Thank you for your work and help. It is appreciated more than you know
I like the idea of dolving the challenge and giving it a certain time! I do it at my work with work issues and it is effective! 😊
This is the first video that I’ve seen from you and I really like the way you explain things, your calmness, and your voice
Thanks so much for letting me know! I hope it is helpful!
Best i have seen in a long time. Straight forward, mirroring experience of what goes on habitually. My mom found ur stuff and im grateful for her
Awesome! So nice you are grateful for your mom :)
Thanks for this ❤
1:07 seconds into this video and already I have been helped. The reason being so many channels actually don't define rumination as articulaltely and spot on correct as you have. That alone gives me some hope especially after two days of nothing but constant rumination. I think with step 3 it is important to acknowledge that for some there actually is no 'real' problem i.e. that the fear has no foundation beyond the fear of fear itself. I sincerely thank you for a great post.
This was so helpful, and right on time to meet my needs. Thank you.
So pleased it was helpful!
Your videos are so helpful, thank you so much for making them!
So pleased to hear they are helpful! Thanks for letting me know :)
OMG, did I need this now! Thank you!
You are super welcome! 😀
Thanks, your voice calmed me
This was so helpful
Thank you
Thank you so much love and prayers ❤️❤️
Thankyou ma'am for explaining in simple terms, and avoid negative people and someone saying hurtful things , I am glad I found you in UA-cam during covid-19 lockdown period life was terrible.and brooding over the death of my mother. Ma'am I thought because I am bipolar mental health person, anyway I am greatful to you.
Thank you for this important information. ❤
I’m really glad I ran into this video. Thanks Barbara 😊
You are so welcome!
I needed this so much today.thank you ♥️❤️
You are so welcome! I hope it is helpful!
as a habitual serial ruminator and father of and grandfather, this is timely advice and practical, so thanks so much!! stephen
You are very welcome. Hope it helps!
Rumination is the worst part of anxiety for me; I'm really looking forward to applying these techniques
I hope they are helpful!
You are awesome, thankyou for this video and your personality!
Excellent points thanks 🙏🏼
Thank you for this helpful guide. Needed to hear this.
So glad it was helpful!
Thank you this video is life changing
thanks Barbara for the great videoI very incentive and informative! Imyself get often stuck and caught in ruminating..i wrote down these 5 steps and i am going to bring them in my life, much appreciated :)
Do let me know how it works for you! Make sure ti give it time and practice! 😃
Thank you for your Extremely Helpful Videos. I can't stop Ruminating about a Theft; Someone Stole from me. Presently I live in a Dorm-like Residence. There are Men and Women in my Residence. I have my own Bedroom and Bathroom. Inside my Bedroom, I keep a Locked Box which I keep Locked most of the time. Anytime I leave the Building I lock the Locked Box. Anytime I leave my Bedroom, I close the Door; however when I leave my Bedroom I do not always Lock my Bedroom Door. When I leave my Bedroom and am still in the Building, I do not always Lock the Locked Box in my Bedroom. Most other Residents regularly leave their Doors ajar. Usually there are People milling about the hallways and Common Areas of the Residence, and there's always at least one Person down the hallway at the Front Desk to make sure Strangers do not wander in off the Street; you have to know someone in the Building to be allowed in the Building. My Rent helps pay for the Buildings Security Measures. I felt that I got along with everyone in the Building. Many times when I bought a Dessert from the Supermarket, I shared it with other Residents. And I thought my Safety and Security Measures were enough to Safeguard my Belongings. So I was surprised to find out that Someone Stole Money from my Locked Box. I was so upset, and essentially I have not been able to forgive myself for being so Trusting that I did not Lock Everything all the time. I should have Locked my Door and my Locked Box every time I left my Bedroom. So now I lock my Bedroom Door every time I leave my Bedroom. And I lock my Locked Box anytime I'm not using it. Lesson Learned. But I still Ruminate about "Who is the Thief?" "Will the Thief try to come back for more? Probably." "I'd better be Ready for the Thief to try to Return." "I'd better Safeguard myself as well, because who knows what other Crime the Thief might commit." "I could have really used that Money that was Stolen from me." Etc., etc., etc.
Sounds familiar 😢
Yeah, I guess if this is what rumination is, seems like a normal thing. Most people are upset when someone steals from them and they think of ways to get even or not let it happen again. If you were slighted it takes time to get away from that. Someone stole from me when I was 18 and had money I got on my birthday that day .. left it in my wallet for a second at the mall by a pay phone and it was taken in seconds when I went back to get it. Still think about that day today. I am 50. But that taught me a lesson and I don't ever let that happen again and it hasn't. But I reflect on things like that still
Thank you so much for your awesome skills and knowledge your video is definitely delightful and inspiring I am so grateful
I agree with the advice given. Rumination is extremely destructive to everyone.
In my opinion, the second step is crucial while we control our response by making it moderate. Usually I react abruptly and violently before but I replaced this habit by responding more gently and honestly as it was a normal daily life logic. It works for me wonderfully well.
Yup I do this I'm more aware of now I do my best to stop it
I needed this so much! thank you!
You're so welcome!
Are shared this with my twenty one year old granddaughter. Thank you so much.
Thank you so much Barbara for sharing your precious knowledge and experiences with the world! God bless you!
You are so welcome! I appreciate your reaching out :)
@@BarbaraHeffernan My great pleasure :)
thank you again from Australia!!
Thanks! this is really helpfull
This makes so much sense now . Thank you
You are welcome!
You're awesome. Thank you ❤
Even while listening to this I am having unreality thoughts, like is this real ?…. Trying to make sense of it all but in turn that causes rumination. Viscious cycle.
Very helpful. Thank you
One thing you reminded me of.... when someone was in a terrifying moment, that I imagined an i"nvisible shield" so as to NOT absorb her pain I just listened. It was so helpful, because there was a solute,y nothing l could do to comfort this person 's outrage against me which was NOT true... thanks again.
Wonderful tool!
Wonderful advice,, that can used in many other emotional areas. Very helpful, thank you
You are welcome!
Thank you 🙏 ❤
hi barbara thank you so much for this very helpful video its so helpful when i say to myself its not helpful instead of fighting the thought is there another word or phrase to change that negative way of thinking
Thank you Barbara 🙏🏻
You're welcome!
Losing our daughter, and feeling this heavy depression and anxiety my mind is not in the present at all. Family members would be who I'd fall on for support but that is wishful thinking. Need to definitely try this exercise, thank you Barbara.
God bless you dear
My condolences. 🙏
Am sorry for your loss 😔
Hope you are doing well now
@@ashmit3675 wish I could say I was doing better. Lost my job and lively hood.. but thank you
@@fireballdc1 I am sorry for you 😔 , living like that is very hard but hang in there buddy . You have power over it , I hope everything gets betters for you as soon as possible :)
Thank you. I am trying to become aware of rumination, perfectionism, thought distortions like black and white thinking and catastrophizing - which can present as truth and drive one’s life. No more. I want to be happy and have peace 🙏🏿💕
I loved this video!! It helped me a lot! Also idk if I’m the only one but I ruminate so much I can ruminate when I’m singing aswell 🥲I’d have to really focus on the lyrics to stop myself from it
Thank you
Love this one.
So glad it was helpful!
Really helpful clear steps to work through ruminating. Your videos are fantastic!
Thank you so much for letting me know you appreciate them! I truly hope they are helpful.
Oddly, I go over and over an incident like yesterday and have physical pain associated. As I work through this psychological and physical pain leads to an organic release of pain etc and literally burping energy that is stuck in my body. The outcome, finally after the over and over, I made it to today with a response prepared for others to address how someone wished the situation to look from their perspective. But, I still have some physio/physical pain now...
Downloading this so I can come back to it next time I get "stuck". Thank you!!!
Thank you. This is very helpful.
So glad!