I ruminated for years, eventually ended up in severe depression and anxiety. Fortunately someone taught me this lesson and with acknowledgement and work, as she said, over time I recognized it and stopped myself from doing it. It’s been over twenty years and I am still very grateful.
1) Recognise when you're ruminating and fully accept is not helpful. 2)Label it. 3)Set aside time to focus on the solution. 4)Recognise how self focused rumination is 5) Interventions:Healthy supportive relation with a friend,a family member or a therapist-Mindfulness meditation leaves no room for rumination-Also singing-Physical activity(playing with your dog, exercise, skiing )
Pls help me.! The me loop! It's 24/7, It was retirement related, I realized I really didn't want to retire !! And I did, and cannot return. Horrible depression, anxiety, stress... and Ruminating the coulda shouda wouldas.!! life was special to me,..... now its not. Ruminating this event over n over is quicksand!
I used to ruminate a lot , and it would just make me feel worse. I'm glad I can shift my focus on other things that can bring solutions and peace instead of constantly remain in the mindless loop. Great video!
@@Lauriet807 first off I start by realizing that ruminating serves me no purpose whatsoever. It’s just a waste of time and detrimental to my health. If I’m ruminating about something I did I forgive myself and if it’s something I can fix I solve the problem. If it’s something I need to work towards I make a plan and take action! 🙂
@@Lauriet807I even learned to start naming things around me. There is a Blue Carpet and the walls are Purple and there is a Window where I can see the Green Grass, etc. Your brain can’t Ruminate and name at the same time. 😊
When the grief, loss, shame, betrayal, confusion and traumatic memories are overwhelming, rumination is impossible for me to control. Lost a meaningful job and career and my home. Bullied and gaslit for months, my confidence shattered, my heart smashed
I thought I was crazy but now I think I was obessing over things I couldn't control. Which is kinda crazy. I feel so much better like I found the cure.
So great to hear you are feeling better! Identifying the problem can really help… and no, this isn’t crazy - so many of us do it! But it isn’t helpful and can be so freeing once one is able to let go of rumination!
@@BarbaraHeffernanThank you so much for this video. I realize I wasn't comfortable with the present so I allowed my mind to wander. I would let my mind take a break from what I deemed stressful, or boring... Problem with doing that is I ended up stuck in auto pilot. And it's scary when your mind is stuck in auto pilot, because you've made it so comfortable escaping problems or boredom by allowing it to ruminate. I literally would go from 1 thought to another thought after another. But now I learnt how to quiet the mind, it's by accepting all thoughts of stress and boredom without judgment. And then I ask myself what is something better that I can think or feel. Now the mind has to think of something better to think or feel. Funny thing is it quietly does it, but since I had some traumas my mind would comes up with some more nonsense. So then I accept the thought again and say what's a better way I can think or feel. Honestly it's crazy that I unknowingly programmed my rumination from how I viewed my past traumas, thoughts of boredom or feelings about myself. The present has never been bad, boring, or something to escape. I just didn't know I could choose to look at every present moment as something to be enjoyed. Because something good has always been in all of my present moments. I'm so glad I found your channel. Thank you so much and God Bless you Barbara
I was diagnosed with OCD with Rumination a few months ago. This video is GOLD, I am so grateful. I am 58 and cannot remember a time when I didn’t Ruminate. For the first time ever I can truly see an end to it ……. So exciting - thank you.
My rumination is to do with losing my career and home and the trauma around that. It’s extremely difficult to deal with the grief, loss, betrayal and ptsd
I'm ruminating about ruminating. It's got me so stuck. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. I have social anxiety and I'm thinking my antidepressants are no longer working. It's exhausting. Thanks for the video.
My problem with ruminating is at sleep time and I’ve had severe insomnia all my life and I’m 63! I’ve never slept well and now I’m ruminating on me getting dementia. Ugh. I didn’t know the word rumination until 2 days ago, didn’t know it was A “thing”. I thought I was nuts. What a relief knowing it’s somewhat common. Thanks very much very enlightening!
Update. Basically 2weeks in now. Every time I start ruminating I say "its rumination it's not helpful". Everytime no matter the rumination. I can say now its working. Not doing the breathing and the other stuff much. I pray alot. Be patient. It's a process. God willing and the creek don't overflow I will continue to improve. Thanks Barbara!!!!
Great advice! I have a terrible problem with rumination. I still kick myself for small, silly things that happened 20-30 years ago. I know it’s ridiculous, but I’ve always been that way. Two things have helped me tremendously in recent years. As you mentioned, living in the present and not the past is really important. What helped me even more is advice I found to FORGIVE YOURSELF! It doesn’t mean you can do mean or terrible things with no consequences. It just means giving yourself a break. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgiving myself almost has a mystical power that seems to lift a weight off my shoulders. It doesn’t completely go away, but it seems to be diminishing in frequency and intensity. As you said, continuing to interrupt that pattern seems to work.
I realize I've been doing this since childhood and I used to think it was my superpower. I guess that was my child brain trying to deal with the abuse in my household. I've carried it into adulthood and it made me practically a wizard at work but emotionally I was a disaster on legs, and now it makes so much more sense. Thank you for opening my eyes, and giving me a plan to get past this. ❤
I always tried to predict the future and change the past in my mind. Never was I ok with the current situation. Ruminating kept me living in the past or future without being able to control either. I kept trying, because I thought I was wise enough to change those things. Now I'm realizing I needed acceptance, I needed to only focus on what is happening now. And only think what can I do now.
I feel like crying whenever I watch any ocd video, because for years I thought I was weird it was a phase and I cry of joy when I see any ocd video saying EXACTLY what I feel
Very helpful. I often spin my wheels trying to figure out where my anxious and depressive symptoms are coming from because I have a very good life (job, partner, family, friends etc). Never thought that the cause of my emotions could simply be that I am giving them too much attention via ruminating on them.
I just started this video, and I know I need it. I’ve been living with two narcissists and something very traumatic happened to me this summer because of them and I’m having a lot of problems getting over it. There’s no apologies or acknowledgments with these people. They seem to just carry on as long as no one else knows what they did, I’m the one with the problem. I’m excited to let it all go.
Barbara. This is the most incredible video on UA-cam. You are amazing. The pattern interrupt of saying, "This is rumination. This is not helpful." Has made such an incredible difference in stopping it in its tracks.
Im stuck ruminating right now and it is so hard to get out of. I recently have been battling serious health problems and on disability. Last year the veil was lifted and I am trying so hard to try and push past this stage but I keep having waves of deep grief and sadness. Especially when my family who I thought was close and I was always there for them has never came to visit me even after my surgeries. For some reason I keep feeling like I did something wrong or I am a bad person. I am so grateful I know what I know now but its hust so damn painful. I know I will be stronger after this all passes. Thank you so much for this video!
Oddly, I go over and over an incident like yesterday and have physical pain associated. As I work through this psychological and physical pain leads to an organic release of pain etc and literally burping energy that is stuck in my body. The outcome, finally after the over and over, I made it to today with a response prepared for others to address how someone wished the situation to look from their perspective. But, I still have some physio/physical pain now...
Thank you making this video, I learned the term Rumination that describes my problem precisely. Singing works for me, I didn't even think of it as an intervention until now. For me it has been living life in a ‘Defense’. Mind is more worried about protecting than living.
The fact that you can recognize that your mind is stuck in 'protective mode' is half the battle to growth toward changing it to focus on 'living mode' instead 😊
It's great that you can find something to help you. I love singing and I feel deeply when I sing. I sing when I want to change my thinking patterns but sometimes there are songs that I sing which remind me of something negative. Sometimes it's less, sometimes it's more. Hopefully this fades over time.
1:07 seconds into this video and already I have been helped. The reason being so many channels actually don't define rumination as articulaltely and spot on correct as you have. That alone gives me some hope especially after two days of nothing but constant rumination. I think with step 3 it is important to acknowledge that for some there actually is no 'real' problem i.e. that the fear has no foundation beyond the fear of fear itself. I sincerely thank you for a great post.
I love how your voice and choice of words address my frontal lobe as much as being soothing as you never come across condescending (as therapists often do). Gives me hope I can figure this out (late diagnosed CPTSD and BPD with lots of anxiety and depression)
I will listen to you every day because I am learning how to help myself and not to ruminate and feel that i am trapped. You are so generous that you are sharing your wonderful job with us. You are amazing and everything you are saying is very straight forward. I am so grateful that I discovered you. I am recovering from my neck and shoulders pain because I am leaving how to relax and let go. Thanks so much Barbara. Be blessed forever and always 🙏❣💞
I love your term, "the me loop." It's the perfect catch phrase to check myself and quickly shift my focus, without falling into negative emotions. I love your videos, dear Barbara. Thank you.
Thank you very much for sharing your experience with rumination. Fifty+ years ago, when I was a small boy, I had trouble falling asleep. I sucked my thumb and held a blanket to help comfort me. Still, I recall being filled with terror because I couldn't fall asleep and, as a result, would miss the school bus in the morning. Today, I don't ruminate about that happening, but other past events, relationships, perceived or actual slights, resentments, regrets, you name it. People have always characterized me as an "overthinker." The thing of it is, is that this state of mind comes and goes and usually coincides with Depression. The "me loop" is incredibly painful and unproductive. I'll check out your other videos and do more research on what you have shared here. Thank you again.
One thing you reminded me of.... when someone was in a terrifying moment, that I imagined an i"nvisible shield" so as to NOT absorb her pain I just listened. It was so helpful, because there was a solute,y nothing l could do to comfort this person 's outrage against me which was NOT true... thanks again.
I have this very bad and its all about work. I care so much about succeeding and have this daily. I'm almost always in a depressive state because of it. Im certainly going to try and follow these tips. Thank you so much.
Thank you for this video. I retired after 30 years from a toxic job environment, and I tend to ruminate. "I am ruminating, and this is self-destructive".
Oh my goodness. This video is amazing. I have ADHD and never knew about this problem. This morning I realised i have negative repetitive thoughts and maybe there is a solution and came access this video. Just knowing the label is life changing. I didn't realise how much I am doing this, it is consuming my life . Now I have a plan to reduce it. Thank you
I’ll never forget when I first identified the me loop with my therapist. For me, it’s always been known as the octopus ride at the carnival. Round and round and round. We need to get off that ride asap! Because when you stay on it too long, you get sick!
I just want to say thank you for this UA-cam. I now realise I have permission to stop regularly thinking and checking over something that happened a long time ago and in many ways had been dealt with. I wondered why my mind kept going to it especially in recent years during retirement and lock down where I’ve got less to think about. I wondered if I had OCD, today I’m saying to myself “no need to ruminate” and I can put it aside. Understanding the science of it has really helped me, I feel free of the burden of constantly thinking I had to go on a big loop all around the history of it only to get to the same conclusion every time.
Step 1: Recognise that’s its rumination and that it’s not helpful. Step 2: Label it - this interrupts it, for example: This is rumination. This is not helpful. Step 3: If there actually is a problem schedule time to address the problem - to positively fix it. Step 4: Recognise how self referential rumination is - how self focussed you are being. Put focus outside yourself Step 5: Pick a research based intervention for these go to 11 minute mark. Hope this helps.
Thank you for your Extremely Helpful Videos. I can't stop Ruminating about a Theft; Someone Stole from me. Presently I live in a Dorm-like Residence. There are Men and Women in my Residence. I have my own Bedroom and Bathroom. Inside my Bedroom, I keep a Locked Box which I keep Locked most of the time. Anytime I leave the Building I lock the Locked Box. Anytime I leave my Bedroom, I close the Door; however when I leave my Bedroom I do not always Lock my Bedroom Door. When I leave my Bedroom and am still in the Building, I do not always Lock the Locked Box in my Bedroom. Most other Residents regularly leave their Doors ajar. Usually there are People milling about the hallways and Common Areas of the Residence, and there's always at least one Person down the hallway at the Front Desk to make sure Strangers do not wander in off the Street; you have to know someone in the Building to be allowed in the Building. My Rent helps pay for the Buildings Security Measures. I felt that I got along with everyone in the Building. Many times when I bought a Dessert from the Supermarket, I shared it with other Residents. And I thought my Safety and Security Measures were enough to Safeguard my Belongings. So I was surprised to find out that Someone Stole Money from my Locked Box. I was so upset, and essentially I have not been able to forgive myself for being so Trusting that I did not Lock Everything all the time. I should have Locked my Door and my Locked Box every time I left my Bedroom. So now I lock my Bedroom Door every time I leave my Bedroom. And I lock my Locked Box anytime I'm not using it. Lesson Learned. But I still Ruminate about "Who is the Thief?" "Will the Thief try to come back for more? Probably." "I'd better be Ready for the Thief to try to Return." "I'd better Safeguard myself as well, because who knows what other Crime the Thief might commit." "I could have really used that Money that was Stolen from me." Etc., etc., etc.
Yeah, I guess if this is what rumination is, seems like a normal thing. Most people are upset when someone steals from them and they think of ways to get even or not let it happen again. If you were slighted it takes time to get away from that. Someone stole from me when I was 18 and had money I got on my birthday that day .. left it in my wallet for a second at the mall by a pay phone and it was taken in seconds when I went back to get it. Still think about that day today. I am 50. But that taught me a lesson and I don't ever let that happen again and it hasn't. But I reflect on things like that still
There was a thought ruminating in my head this morning and the event that I was recalling was pretty harmless, but I have trouble shaking the recurring thought about it. I am grateful for your video. I just said out loud that it's not helpful and I do think saying it out loud was more effective than thinking it.
Thank you. I am trying to become aware of rumination, perfectionism, thought distortions like black and white thinking and catastrophizing - which can present as truth and drive one’s life. No more. I want to be happy and have peace 🙏🏿💕
You are a very talented, helpful person Thank you! Sing. You are so right. Can't ruminate while you sing. Brilliant. That's me at a recording session in my pic. Singing again for the first time in 30 years. Singing is healing. I'm going to record a rumination-free album.
Losing our daughter, and feeling this heavy depression and anxiety my mind is not in the present at all. Family members would be who I'd fall on for support but that is wishful thinking. Need to definitely try this exercise, thank you Barbara.
@@fireballdc1 I am sorry for you 😔 , living like that is very hard but hang in there buddy . You have power over it , I hope everything gets betters for you as soon as possible :)
Hi Barbara, I just wanted to express my gratitude for this extraordinary helpful video. Ive been stuck and most unhappy for the majority of the past couple years and the tips in this video are lifechanging. Identifying the rumination and labeling it as unhelpful allows me to not identify with the thoughts, and eventually releasing them. Truly has brought a relief i have been fighting so hard to find. Thank you thank you thank you ♥️
So sorry to hear that. Replaying trauma is a bit different than rumination. I'd recommend my videos on trauma and emdr: Traumatic memory processing: ua-cam.com/video/qeURXfroyXk/v-deo.html EMDR for trauma: ua-cam.com/video/bDqL4qkKvtE/v-deo.html and there are a few others
I have develop my observer mind so much...thanks to your channel...and today i observed my rumination...so i came back for more. Thank you, Dr, your channel has transformed my life...and your kind and gentil...thank you🤗❤
I ruminate over the things I don't know and always need to know the reasons for the things that happen in my life. I want to be able to learn from past experiences by understanding how my own actions (as well as other people who were involved) contributed to situations so that I can make better decisions in the future. My ex partner of 7 years was very avoidant and this made it hard to know when problems had arisen because of denial, and therefore the opportunities to grow as a couple were routinely missed. In the end she chose to slow fade her way out the back door, and the reasons she gave were easy answers, generic, and weren't expanded on in any way. It's a major cause of constant rumination and I'm not able to resolve it by conjuring up some false reasons and convincing myself that they're true just to help achieve closure. I can't lie! I honestly suck so bad at lying. Main reason is simple, I can't ever convince myself of something I don't have enough reason to believe. The worry is that by not fully understanding the unique aspects and failures on both sides that led to the breakup, I could just as easily walk into another relationship with a similar person and go through it all again.
I've suffered from rumination for some years. It's an extremely tedious and unhelpful thing. I know how it sneaks into my mind and I then recognise that it's happening. I will try the labelling as you describe as the attempts to shoo it away haven't really worked. Inner voice now just say: I am ruminating. This is Not Helpful and isn't going to change anything that never existed anyway.
Thank you so much for this clear and concise explanation of rumination, and ways to deal with it. I have never found a video as helpful as this one. I ruminate a lot about past wrongs and I realized it was affecting my sleep and health. I now identify out loud when I’m starting the cycle of rumination, so that I can consciously put the brakes on it, and I sing a song. It took some practice but I feel i have gotten a hold of this awful habit. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You literally changed my life.
I'm ruminating over where to move in a few months when my job is over overseas. Going over possibilities but not wanting to follow through with any of them
Ma'am, you explain in simple terms, I have been ruminating for decades I am a bipolar suffering mostly reminating and by word I did not know this , I cannot stop ruminating when the thought comes I leave it for hours together but slowly it heals itself, thankyou ma'am.
@@BarbaraHeffernan ma'am it's been very helpful, I am from India, I am impressed by your explanation on psychological issues, thankyou Dr Barbara Heffernan.
I have ruminated. It’s from domestic abuse and the trauma involved. I didn’t know who I was, and he put lots of hurtful things in my head that I felt I had to “talk” my way out of. I feel like it has helped me - when I hear his voice in my head, to self talk and turn it around. Does that make sense, and I’ve done this for so long it’s a little scary to not do it anymore.
In my opinion, the second step is crucial while we control our response by making it moderate. Usually I react abruptly and violently before but I replaced this habit by responding more gently and honestly as it was a normal daily life logic. It works for me wonderfully well.
My brain changed after a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) & an NDE (Near Death Experience) such that it started ruminating on situations & encounters that feel "off". So foŕ me it's not necessarily past relations & events but CURRENT relations & events... that I want to understand.
First of all, thank you so much for your valuable advice. I have to admit that I ruminate too often (extremely often), so you can not imagine how your tips are so important. To be honest, it literally eats at me from the inside, and It starts to make me feel exhausted. I'm going to put into practice the process you explain. I'm grateful for people like you who help others. Please keep going. Take care
Hi, Of course, I'll do it. Thank you so much for spending the time to respond. I easily guess how your time should be filled up. Have a great day to everyone and please take care.
My rumination is usually all “what if” thoughts that get out of control based on past situations with others. It’s so annoying. This video is very helpful
This video was helpful. And I'm including some quotes that might be beneficial. "Its not a problem to be solved. It's a truth to be accepted." "Whats the ROI now? Next thought, please."
I ruminate a lot about being contaminated, germs. Not getting ill just yucky. Also, around the holidays I ruminate about my mom's kitchen and cry so much. She's been gone for 7 years now. I've been a shut in since the covid lock down now I can't be near anyone.
Every time I'm feeling overwhelmed, I turn to your videos and I always feel better. Thank you for caring enough to create these videos that are life-changing and at the very least, you give people another perspective to consider. Thank you, Barbara ❤
Amazing video,Barbara! I am currently going through a situation wherein 1 month ago there was an argument between me and my neighbor who is the builder of houses in my community for car parking spot. He and his family have taken over 2 parking spots in our neighbourhood which everybody has equal rights to park. Nobody wants to quarrel with that guy because he is a narcissist. Last month I confronted his son about this and he became defensive saying it is their "right" to park their car over there because his dad built the society and I told them it's not. The conversation ended though in his favor as nobody in my community wants to deal with these guys in general meetings as they are very very confrontational. Since that day, I am ruminating over and over and over how I could have argued more in my favor? Your video is helping but if there are more tips about this, I would really appreciate it. This situation happened in India where I also have a home and where laws regarding these kind of situation are in grey area and not very clear so all these types of situation can only be solved by discussions that this other party is in no mood of having. So I am wondering how to become more assertive in situations like this especially when dealing with verbal bullies and confrontational people?
Funny, my rumination, whilst I contacted a phone counsellor to get help, I ignored some of the supporting comments she gave me that made it even worse. Like a moment ago you stated something, that made me see too much psychological assessment based projection. Rather than simple focus on the rumination and why the matter is so complicated and what you are seeking to solve. Rather than rejecting the body mind natural process, but helping it to work with you than against you.
This is by far the best video on rumination I've come across (and I've watched many). Can't wait to try your wonderfully helpful tips. With sincere gratitude for the light you've provided amidst what has been an extremely painful and disruptive tendency.
Thank you so very much Barbara. I have struggles with rumination since I was a very young child. Your video/s are the best thing I have ever come across. Thank you so much :)
I was diagnosed with aspergers about 8 years ago, but getting a handle on the negative obsessions and ruminations is the hardest, when young I just attributed it to depression, but it's really a low grade Pure ocd that is very common in aspergers, my mother has it too, diagnosed OCD, not the autism, though she has that too. trying wellbutrin now
My special interest of philosophy, politics, and psychology doesn't help matters, self help is addictive too, but I've decide people are a bigger problem, lol.
I'm in that space right now. Ruminating over the past and worrying about the well being of loved ones especially my Mother. This is linked to a sudden bout of depression which feels like it came out of nowhere, there was no build up. I will try these tips and see how I get on. Thank you for the advice.
I've always been a ruminator, but never had a name for it until the last week. Recently I was referred to this video by another health professional after I sought help when experiencing vicarious trauma after serving on a jury. This resulted in probably the worst rumination I've experienced. This is helpful, especially steps 1, and 2. I've also been working on step 5 by using short meditation classes on Netflix. I've also saved this to my Watch Later list so i can come back and refer to it whenever I need. Thanks!
Thank you! This is the most helpful video I ever watched about this topic! I'm truly grateful to you for having posted it, I'll most certainly share it. 🙏🙏🙏
Everything you discussed in this video is me.... I'm in shock... You're my hero... And I have all of the thongs its connected to... I'm going to begin working on this eight now... Thank you so much.. My sisters do this too. Its the darkest path to go down... Because nothing comes from it accept anger and sadness.. Thank you!!!
I know it’s just hard to let go something I had no control over. Like when my past learning strategies said no to pictures and begged her to reconsider and I ended up ruminating for months until the end of my junior year. Now, my current teacher Mrs. Z doesn’t want to do pictures with me anymore on the school cell phone because I end up getting fixated on pictures, she put a stop to it by setting up a boundary but she said she will do with other students because they won’t get fixated. I just need to be understanding and respecting of her decision but it’s hard sometimes and I get sensitive when she says no
I loved this video!! It helped me a lot! Also idk if I’m the only one but I ruminate so much I can ruminate when I’m singing aswell 🥲I’d have to really focus on the lyrics to stop myself from it
EXCELLENT video. Very helpful the way you explain what makes rumination unhealthy in an easy to understand and concrete way. You describe What Rumination is and Why it is unhealthy. You call it the Five Themes of Rumination. Next, you describe the Five Steps to Stop Rumination. What I found to be the most relevant was to First Recognize it, Label it, and Interrupt it. (Can be very difficult to actually get into your thoughts and know when to stop them). What I found a bit confusing and enlightening, at the same time, was the Distinction between What you are ruminating about AND the act of rumination which, in itself, can be a Cause of anxiety, depression, and OCD. For example, a man I know is constantly mentioning his son who died at the age of 16 (many years ago), He seems obsessed with it. Is this the Event which is distressing or his Rumination about it? One problem I had with the start of your Video was when you began with "Rumination is the Worse." I have used the word rumination for many years and the main definition of Rumination in the Dictionary is "Contemplate, meditate, mull over, think about".. This is the way I have always used the concept of Rumination and have heard others use it in this way. So I was initially confused, but you do go on to make your definition clear. But, I firmly believe that not all rumination is the Worse as you claim at the start. I often ruminate about topics in philosophy and religion which I study for intellectual growth and satisfaction. This kind of Rumination produces happiness. Still, I Loved your video and find your videos on these topics to be the BEST on UA-cam and I hope that some of my opinions do not sound too petty.
Beth - thanks SO much for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your taking the time to do so. And I agree, rumination can be seen as thinking about something fully, contemplating, etc, in which case it can be a positive. I agree I could have clarified that. And, yes to the point re the rumination causing the problem!! SO glad you found this helpful.
I ruminated for years, eventually ended up in severe depression and anxiety. Fortunately someone taught me this lesson and with acknowledgement and work, as she said, over time I recognized it and stopped myself from doing it. It’s been over twenty years and I am still very grateful.
How is your anxiety now
This just put the biggest smile on my face, i hope i make it to that stage in life where i stop ruminating.
How did you stop it?
It's encouraging to see that you can get through it. I'm at the beginning stage still.
😊😊😊😊
1) Recognise when you're ruminating and fully accept is not helpful.
2)Label it.
3)Set aside time to focus on the solution.
4)Recognise how self focused rumination is
5) Interventions:Healthy supportive relation with a friend,a family member or a therapist-Mindfulness meditation leaves no room for rumination-Also singing-Physical activity(playing with your dog, exercise, skiing )
Great summary!
Thank you so much for this part.
Rumination happens to me when my narcissistic supervisor and her flying monkeys are in full swing.
Very helpful
Pls help me.! The me loop! It's 24/7, It was retirement related, I realized I really didn't want to retire !! And I did, and cannot return. Horrible depression, anxiety, stress... and Ruminating the coulda shouda wouldas.!! life was special to me,..... now its not. Ruminating this event over n over is quicksand!
Rumination is like not being able to get a song out of your head which keeps playing over and over again.
And the song is singing to the tune of your failures
Dod song stop?
I believe people who are very honest and sensitive can have this problem.
I used to ruminate a lot , and it would just make me feel worse. I'm glad I can shift my focus on other things that can bring solutions and peace instead of constantly remain in the mindless loop. Great video!
Awesome! AND thank you for giving others hope that this CAN BE CHANGED!
I need to know how to shift my focus. What do you shift your focus to?
@@Lauriet807 first off I start by realizing that ruminating serves me no purpose whatsoever. It’s just a waste of time and detrimental to my health. If I’m ruminating about something I did I forgive myself and if it’s something I can fix I solve the problem. If it’s something I need to work towards I make a plan and take action! 🙂
@@BarbaraHeffernan u
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@@Lauriet807I even learned to start naming things around me.
There is a Blue Carpet and the walls are Purple and there is a Window where I can see the Green Grass, etc.
Your brain can’t Ruminate and name at the same time. 😊
When the grief, loss, shame, betrayal, confusion and traumatic memories are overwhelming, rumination is impossible for me to control.
Lost a meaningful job and career and my home. Bullied and gaslit for months, my confidence shattered, my heart smashed
I thought I was crazy but now I think I was obessing over things I couldn't control. Which is kinda crazy. I feel so much better like I found the cure.
So great to hear you are feeling better! Identifying the problem can really help… and no, this isn’t crazy - so many of us do it! But it isn’t helpful and can be so freeing once one is able to let go of rumination!
@@BarbaraHeffernanThank you so much for this video.
I realize I wasn't comfortable with the present so I allowed my mind to wander. I would let my mind take a break from what I deemed stressful, or boring... Problem with doing that is I ended up stuck in auto pilot.
And it's scary when your mind is stuck in auto pilot, because you've made it so comfortable escaping problems or boredom by allowing it to ruminate.
I literally would go from 1 thought to another thought after another.
But now I learnt how to quiet the mind, it's by accepting all thoughts of stress and boredom without judgment. And then I ask myself what is something better that I can think or feel.
Now the mind has to think of something better to think or feel.
Funny thing is it quietly does it,
but since I had some traumas my mind would comes up with some more nonsense. So then I accept the thought again and say what's a better way I can think or feel.
Honestly it's crazy that I unknowingly programmed my rumination from how I viewed my past traumas, thoughts of boredom or feelings about myself.
The present has never been bad, boring, or something to escape.
I just didn't know I could choose to look at every present moment as something to be enjoyed. Because something good has always been in all of my present moments.
I'm so glad I found your channel. Thank you so much and God Bless you Barbara
I was diagnosed with OCD with Rumination a few months ago. This video is GOLD, I am so grateful. I am 58 and cannot remember a time when I didn’t Ruminate. For the first time ever I can truly see an end to it ……. So exciting - thank you.
hope the best for you
My rumination is to do with losing my career and home and the trauma around that. It’s extremely difficult to deal with the grief, loss, betrayal and ptsd
🙏for you!! It too lost my career job, etc... Im unable to stop the ruminating on the coulda shouda wouldas!! I cannot get back my life,..
I'm ruminating about ruminating. It's got me so stuck. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere. I have social anxiety and I'm thinking my antidepressants are no longer working. It's exhausting. Thanks for the video.
How are you doing now? I found it helpful to do easy and pleasant things to change my story
It sounds like it would be beneficial for you to try and get off the meds...always side effects... some insidious.
My problem with ruminating is at sleep time and I’ve had severe insomnia all my life and I’m 63! I’ve never slept well and now I’m ruminating on me getting dementia. Ugh. I didn’t know the word rumination until 2 days ago, didn’t know it was A “thing”. I thought I was nuts. What a relief knowing it’s somewhat common.
Thanks very much very enlightening!
I have horrible rumination mainly over deaths and what I should have done differently
Same..how have you been coping??
Update. Basically 2weeks in now. Every time I start ruminating I say "its rumination it's not helpful". Everytime no matter the rumination. I can say now its working. Not doing the breathing and the other stuff much. I pray alot. Be patient. It's a process. God willing and the creek don't overflow I will continue to improve. Thanks Barbara!!!!
Wonderful! Thanks for sharing ! And it does take time :)
Drawing and painting with watercolors helps me get to mindfulness and away from rumination.
Thank you for your videos.
Great advice! I have a terrible problem with rumination. I still kick myself for small, silly things that happened 20-30 years ago. I know it’s ridiculous, but I’ve always been that way. Two things have helped me tremendously in recent years. As you mentioned, living in the present and not the past is really important. What helped me even more is advice I found to FORGIVE YOURSELF! It doesn’t mean you can do mean or terrible things with no consequences. It just means giving yourself a break. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgiving myself almost has a mystical power that seems to lift a weight off my shoulders. It doesn’t completely go away, but it seems to be diminishing in frequency and intensity. As you said, continuing to interrupt that pattern seems to work.
I realize I've been doing this since childhood and I used to think it was my superpower. I guess that was my child brain trying to deal with the abuse in my household.
I've carried it into adulthood and it made me practically a wizard at work but emotionally I was a disaster on legs, and now it makes so much more sense.
Thank you for opening my eyes, and giving me a plan to get past this. ❤
I feel the same, thank you for sharing ❤❤
I always tried to predict the future and change the past in my mind.
Never was I ok with the current situation.
Ruminating kept me living in the past or future without being able to control either.
I kept trying, because I thought I was wise enough to change those things.
Now I'm realizing I needed acceptance, I needed to only focus on what is happening now. And only think what can I do now.
I feel like crying whenever I watch any ocd video, because for years I thought I was weird it was a phase and I cry of joy when I see any ocd video saying EXACTLY what I feel
Very helpful. I often spin my wheels trying to figure out where my anxious and depressive symptoms are coming from because I have a very good life (job, partner, family, friends etc). Never thought that the cause of my emotions could simply be that I am giving them too much attention via ruminating on them.
Wow! This is such a well-worded insight! I imagine others might resonate with it!
Qa
Exactly me!!! This is perfectly worded!!!
Thank you for sharing this profound video
I too am very depressed and I can't understand why. I have a good life and I'm in near perfect health and I"m 75 yrs old.
I just started this video, and I know I need it. I’ve been living with two narcissists and something very traumatic happened to me this summer because of them and I’m having a lot of problems getting over it. There’s no apologies or acknowledgments with these people. They seem to just carry on as long as no one else knows what they did, I’m the one with the problem. I’m excited to let it all go.
Wishing you health and healing...
Barbara. This is the most incredible video on UA-cam. You are amazing.
The pattern interrupt of saying,
"This is rumination. This is not helpful."
Has made such an incredible difference in stopping it in its tracks.
So pleased to hear that!!
Im stuck ruminating right now and it is so hard to get out of. I recently have been battling serious health problems and on disability. Last year the veil was lifted and I am trying so hard to try and push past this stage but I keep having waves of deep grief and sadness. Especially when my family who I thought was close and I was always there for them has never came to visit me even after my surgeries. For some reason I keep feeling like I did something wrong or I am a bad person. I am so grateful I know what I know now but its hust so damn painful. I know I will be stronger after this all passes. Thank you so much for this video!
Oddly, I go over and over an incident like yesterday and have physical pain associated. As I work through this psychological and physical pain leads to an organic release of pain etc and literally burping energy that is stuck in my body. The outcome, finally after the over and over, I made it to today with a response prepared for others to address how someone wished the situation to look from their perspective. But, I still have some physio/physical pain now...
I am a family doctor and I am telling you…. You are great!
Wow, thank you! Truly appreciate it!
Thank you making this video, I learned the term Rumination that describes my problem precisely. Singing works for me, I didn't even think of it as an intervention until now.
For me it has been living life in a ‘Defense’. Mind is more worried about protecting than living.
Learning new dance moves helps me.
The fact that you can recognize that your mind is stuck in 'protective mode' is half the battle to growth toward changing it to focus on 'living mode' instead 😊
It's great that you can find something to help you. I love singing and I feel deeply when I sing. I sing when I want to change my thinking patterns but sometimes there are songs that I sing which remind me of something negative. Sometimes it's less, sometimes it's more. Hopefully this fades over time.
1:07 seconds into this video and already I have been helped. The reason being so many channels actually don't define rumination as articulaltely and spot on correct as you have. That alone gives me some hope especially after two days of nothing but constant rumination. I think with step 3 it is important to acknowledge that for some there actually is no 'real' problem i.e. that the fear has no foundation beyond the fear of fear itself. I sincerely thank you for a great post.
2:05 I had to stamp the beginning. You're spot on. I didn't know that I was going through this. My depression has gotten worse. 😔🥺😢
Unconsciously ruminate a lot about the past, I am sure this simple steps practised regularly can definitely fix the problem. Thank you 🙏
This is SOO ME!! I ruminate about Everything especially WORK!!
I love how your voice and choice of words address my frontal lobe as much as being soothing as you never come across condescending (as therapists often do). Gives me hope I can figure this out (late diagnosed CPTSD and BPD with lots of anxiety and depression)
I will listen to you every day because I am learning how to help myself and not to ruminate and feel that i am trapped.
You are so generous that you are sharing your wonderful job with us. You are amazing and everything you are saying is very straight forward.
I am so grateful that I discovered you. I am recovering from my neck and shoulders pain because I am leaving how to relax and let go. Thanks so much Barbara.
Be blessed forever and always 🙏❣💞
I used to have horrible neck and shoulder pain due to stress. Still do but to a smaller degree but much better now.
I ruminate in the early morning like at 4am. I wake up and can’t stop. I’m not fully awake. I’ll try these tips
Same. I ruminate most after after 2-4 hours of sleep and it’s sooo hard to shut off. In the daytime everything seems less urgent/serious.
i have been doing this on and off for 30 years, it makes me so mad when I think of the years of wasted time. But I just can't stop it.
Rumination is the worst part of anxiety for me; I'm really looking forward to applying these techniques
I hope they are helpful!
I love your term, "the me loop." It's the perfect catch phrase to check myself and quickly shift my focus, without falling into negative emotions. I love your videos, dear Barbara. Thank you.
😊 I love this expression as well! Thanks for letting me know how meaningful it was for you!
Thank you very much for sharing your experience with rumination. Fifty+ years ago, when I was a small boy, I had trouble falling asleep. I sucked my thumb and held a blanket to help comfort me. Still, I recall being filled with terror because I couldn't fall asleep and, as a result, would miss the school bus in the morning. Today, I don't ruminate about that happening, but other past events, relationships, perceived or actual slights, resentments, regrets, you name it. People have always characterized me as an "overthinker." The thing of it is, is that this state of mind comes and goes and usually coincides with Depression. The "me loop" is incredibly painful and unproductive. I'll check out your other videos and do more research on what you have shared here. Thank you again.
Ironically, watching endless self help videos on UA-cam is part of the ruminations process 🙃
Oh no!!
Or, it’s someone actually trying to help themselves escape the rumination cycle. Finally taking control of their mind.
One thing you reminded me of.... when someone was in a terrifying moment, that I imagined an i"nvisible shield" so as to NOT absorb her pain I just listened. It was so helpful, because there was a solute,y nothing l could do to comfort this person 's outrage against me which was NOT true... thanks again.
Wonderful tool!
I have this very bad and its all about work. I care so much about succeeding and have this daily. I'm almost always in a depressive state because of it. Im certainly going to try and follow these tips. Thank you so much.
Thank you for this video. I retired after 30 years from a toxic job environment, and I tend to ruminate. "I am ruminating, and this is self-destructive".
I hope this helps!
Oh my goodness. This video is amazing. I have ADHD and never knew about this problem. This morning I realised i have negative repetitive thoughts and maybe there is a solution and came access this video. Just knowing the label is life changing. I didn't realise how much I am doing this, it is consuming my life . Now I have a plan to reduce it. Thank you
I agree with the advice given. Rumination is extremely destructive to everyone.
I’ll never forget when I first identified the me loop with my therapist. For me, it’s always been known as the octopus ride at the carnival. Round and round and round. We need to get off that ride asap! Because when you stay on it too long, you get sick!
I just want to say thank you for this UA-cam. I now realise I have permission to stop regularly thinking and checking over something that happened a long time ago and in many ways had been dealt with. I wondered why my mind kept going to it especially in recent years during retirement and lock down where I’ve got less to think about. I wondered if I had OCD, today I’m saying to myself “no need to ruminate” and I can put it aside. Understanding the science of it has really helped me, I feel free of the burden of constantly thinking I had to go on a big loop all around the history of it only to get to the same conclusion every time.
as a habitual serial ruminator and father of and grandfather, this is timely advice and practical, so thanks so much!! stephen
You are very welcome. Hope it helps!
Step 1: Recognise that’s its rumination and that it’s not helpful. Step 2: Label it - this interrupts it, for example: This is rumination. This is not helpful. Step 3: If there actually is a problem schedule time to address the problem - to positively fix it. Step 4: Recognise how self referential rumination is - how self focussed you are being. Put focus outside yourself Step 5: Pick a research based intervention for these go to 11 minute mark. Hope this helps.
Thanks for your summary!
Thank you for your Extremely Helpful Videos. I can't stop Ruminating about a Theft; Someone Stole from me. Presently I live in a Dorm-like Residence. There are Men and Women in my Residence. I have my own Bedroom and Bathroom. Inside my Bedroom, I keep a Locked Box which I keep Locked most of the time. Anytime I leave the Building I lock the Locked Box. Anytime I leave my Bedroom, I close the Door; however when I leave my Bedroom I do not always Lock my Bedroom Door. When I leave my Bedroom and am still in the Building, I do not always Lock the Locked Box in my Bedroom. Most other Residents regularly leave their Doors ajar. Usually there are People milling about the hallways and Common Areas of the Residence, and there's always at least one Person down the hallway at the Front Desk to make sure Strangers do not wander in off the Street; you have to know someone in the Building to be allowed in the Building. My Rent helps pay for the Buildings Security Measures. I felt that I got along with everyone in the Building. Many times when I bought a Dessert from the Supermarket, I shared it with other Residents. And I thought my Safety and Security Measures were enough to Safeguard my Belongings. So I was surprised to find out that Someone Stole Money from my Locked Box. I was so upset, and essentially I have not been able to forgive myself for being so Trusting that I did not Lock Everything all the time. I should have Locked my Door and my Locked Box every time I left my Bedroom. So now I lock my Bedroom Door every time I leave my Bedroom. And I lock my Locked Box anytime I'm not using it. Lesson Learned. But I still Ruminate about "Who is the Thief?" "Will the Thief try to come back for more? Probably." "I'd better be Ready for the Thief to try to Return." "I'd better Safeguard myself as well, because who knows what other Crime the Thief might commit." "I could have really used that Money that was Stolen from me." Etc., etc., etc.
Sounds familiar 😢
Yeah, I guess if this is what rumination is, seems like a normal thing. Most people are upset when someone steals from them and they think of ways to get even or not let it happen again. If you were slighted it takes time to get away from that. Someone stole from me when I was 18 and had money I got on my birthday that day .. left it in my wallet for a second at the mall by a pay phone and it was taken in seconds when I went back to get it. Still think about that day today. I am 50. But that taught me a lesson and I don't ever let that happen again and it hasn't. But I reflect on things like that still
Knowing that you can’t sing and ruminate at the same time is really helpful. Thanks for the video.
This was so helpful thankyou as a sufferer it was great to hear some simple techniques
There was a thought ruminating in my head this morning and the event that I was recalling was pretty harmless, but I have trouble shaking the recurring thought about it.
I am grateful for your video. I just said out loud that it's not helpful and I do think saying it out loud was more effective than thinking it.
Great! And thanks for sharing as it might be helpful to others!
Thank you. I am trying to become aware of rumination, perfectionism, thought distortions like black and white thinking and catastrophizing - which can present as truth and drive one’s life. No more. I want to be happy and have peace 🙏🏿💕
You are a very talented, helpful person Thank you! Sing. You are so right. Can't ruminate while you sing. Brilliant. That's me at a recording session in my pic. Singing again for the first time in 30 years. Singing is healing. I'm going to record a rumination-free album.
LOVE THIS! Will you share it with me when you record it? (Even just a piece!)
Ruminating on my current mood is a HUGE problem for me and is so hard to stop doing
Losing our daughter, and feeling this heavy depression and anxiety my mind is not in the present at all. Family members would be who I'd fall on for support but that is wishful thinking. Need to definitely try this exercise, thank you Barbara.
God bless you dear
My condolences. 🙏
Am sorry for your loss 😔
Hope you are doing well now
@@ashmit3675 wish I could say I was doing better. Lost my job and lively hood.. but thank you
@@fireballdc1 I am sorry for you 😔 , living like that is very hard but hang in there buddy . You have power over it , I hope everything gets betters for you as soon as possible :)
Hi Barbara, I just wanted to express my gratitude for this extraordinary helpful video. Ive been stuck and most unhappy for the majority of the past couple years and the tips in this video are lifechanging. Identifying the rumination and labeling it as unhelpful allows me to not identify with the thoughts, and eventually releasing them. Truly has brought a relief i have been fighting so hard to find. Thank you thank you thank you ♥️
BARBARA, EVERYONE tells me l think too much. This is a problem for me .... this is a good topic of learning for me.
Excellent! I hope it is helpful!
Your tonality of your voice is very soothing. Your videos and presentations are very helpful.
Yes my son went. Through a trauma several years ago has never gotten over it keeps reliving over and over
So sorry to hear that. Replaying trauma is a bit different than rumination. I'd recommend my videos on trauma and emdr: Traumatic memory processing: ua-cam.com/video/qeURXfroyXk/v-deo.html
EMDR for trauma: ua-cam.com/video/bDqL4qkKvtE/v-deo.html and there are a few others
I have develop my observer mind so much...thanks to your channel...and today i observed my rumination...so i came back for more. Thank you, Dr, your channel has transformed my life...and your kind and gentil...thank you🤗❤
I ruminate over the things I don't know and always need to know the reasons for the things that happen in my life. I want to be able to learn from past experiences by understanding how my own actions (as well as other people who were involved) contributed to situations so that I can make better decisions in the future. My ex partner of 7 years was very avoidant and this made it hard to know when problems had arisen because of denial, and therefore the opportunities to grow as a couple were routinely missed. In the end she chose to slow fade her way out the back door, and the reasons she gave were easy answers, generic, and weren't expanded on in any way. It's a major cause of constant rumination and I'm not able to resolve it by conjuring up some false reasons and convincing myself that they're true just to help achieve closure. I can't lie! I honestly suck so bad at lying. Main reason is simple, I can't ever convince myself of something I don't have enough reason to believe. The worry is that by not fully understanding the unique aspects and failures on both sides that led to the breakup, I could just as easily walk into another relationship with a similar person and go through it all again.
I've suffered from rumination for some years.
It's an extremely tedious and unhelpful thing.
I know how it sneaks into my mind and I then recognise that it's happening. I will try the labelling as you describe as the attempts to shoo it away haven't really worked.
Inner voice now just say: I am ruminating. This is Not Helpful and isn't going to change anything that never existed anyway.
Thank you so much for this clear and concise explanation of rumination, and ways to deal with it. I have never found a video as helpful as this one. I ruminate a lot about past wrongs and I realized it was affecting my sleep and health. I now identify out loud when I’m starting the cycle of rumination, so that I can consciously put the brakes on it, and I sing a song. It took some practice but I feel i have gotten a hold of this awful habit. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You literally changed my life.
Your comment has completely made my day. Thank you so much for letting me know how meaningful this was for you. And hurray! I'm so happy for you!
@@BarbaraHeffernan thank you for adding years to my life ❤️
I'm ruminating over where to move in a few months when my job is over overseas. Going over possibilities but not wanting to follow through with any of them
But that is a huge life decision ..
Ma'am, you explain in simple terms, I have been ruminating for decades I am a bipolar suffering mostly reminating and by word I did not know this , I cannot stop ruminating when the thought comes I leave it for hours together but slowly it heals itself, thankyou ma'am.
You are welcome. I hope it is helpful!
@@BarbaraHeffernan ma'am it's been very helpful, I am from India, I am impressed by your explanation on psychological issues, thankyou Dr Barbara Heffernan.
I have ruminated. It’s from domestic abuse and the trauma involved. I didn’t know who I was, and he put lots of hurtful things in my head that I felt I had to “talk” my way out of. I feel like it has helped me - when I hear his voice in my head, to self talk and turn it around. Does that make sense, and I’ve done this for so long it’s a little scary to not do it anymore.
In my opinion, the second step is crucial while we control our response by making it moderate. Usually I react abruptly and violently before but I replaced this habit by responding more gently and honestly as it was a normal daily life logic. It works for me wonderfully well.
My brain changed after a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) & an NDE (Near Death Experience) such that it started ruminating on situations & encounters that feel "off".
So foŕ me it's not necessarily past relations & events but CURRENT relations & events... that I want to understand.
I prayed for something to help me with this
This is really solid advice to give in just 15 mins, thank you so much for creating content like this.
You did not mentioned ruminations on health concerns. Thank you.
First of all, thank you so much for your valuable advice.
I have to admit that I ruminate too often (extremely often), so you can not imagine how your tips are so important.
To be honest, it literally eats at me from the inside, and It starts to make me feel exhausted.
I'm going to put into practice the process you explain.
I'm grateful for people like you who help others.
Please keep going.
Take care
Hi: You are so welcome. And let us know how it goes!
Hi,
Of course, I'll do it.
Thank you so much for spending the time to respond. I easily guess how your time should be filled up.
Have a great day to everyone and please take care.
My rumination is usually all “what if” thoughts that get out of control based on past situations with others. It’s so annoying. This video is very helpful
Glad this was helpful! Yes, many people ruminate about past situations... It is possible to change, though it does take work!
This video was helpful. And I'm including some quotes that might be beneficial.
"Its not a problem to be solved. It's a truth to be accepted."
"Whats the ROI now? Next thought, please."
Love these!
I could listen to u all day Barbara ❤ brilliant
I ruminate a lot about being contaminated, germs. Not getting ill just yucky.
Also, around the holidays I ruminate about my mom's kitchen and cry so much. She's been gone for 7 years now. I've been a shut in since the covid lock down now I can't be near anyone.
11:42 This answer is parents they are the best to share with
Every time I'm feeling overwhelmed, I turn to your videos and I always feel better. Thank you for caring enough to create these videos that are life-changing and at the very least, you give people another perspective to consider. Thank you, Barbara ❤
Amazing video,Barbara! I am currently going through a situation wherein 1 month ago there was an argument between me and my neighbor who is the builder of houses in my community for car parking spot. He and his family have taken over 2 parking spots in our neighbourhood which everybody has equal rights to park. Nobody wants to quarrel with that guy because he is a narcissist. Last month I confronted his son about this and he became defensive saying it is their "right" to park their car over there because his dad built the society and I told them it's not. The conversation ended though in his favor as nobody in my community wants to deal with these guys in general meetings as they are very very confrontational. Since that day, I am ruminating over and over and over how I could have argued more in my favor? Your video is helping but if there are more tips about this, I would really appreciate it. This situation happened in India where I also have a home and where laws regarding these kind of situation are in grey area and not very clear so all these types of situation can only be solved by discussions that this other party is in no mood of having. So I am wondering how to become more assertive in situations like this especially when dealing with verbal bullies and confrontational people?
Funny, my rumination, whilst I contacted a phone counsellor to get help, I ignored some of the supporting comments she gave me that made it even worse. Like a moment ago you stated something, that made me see too much psychological assessment based projection. Rather than simple focus on the rumination and why the matter is so complicated and what you are seeking to solve. Rather than rejecting the body mind natural process, but helping it to work with you than against you.
This is by far the best video on rumination I've come across (and I've watched many). Can't wait to try your wonderfully helpful tips. With sincere gratitude for the light you've provided amidst what has been an extremely painful and disruptive tendency.
Thank you so very much Barbara. I have struggles with rumination since I was a very young child. Your video/s are the best thing I have ever come across. Thank you so much :)
I like your videos. You really want to help. This video made me realize how much i ruminate. It has caused me shame and now i see i'm not alone.
I was diagnosed with aspergers about 8 years ago, but getting a handle on the negative obsessions and ruminations is the hardest, when young I just attributed it to depression, but it's really a low grade Pure ocd that is very common in aspergers, my mother has it too, diagnosed OCD, not the autism, though she has that too. trying wellbutrin now
My special interest of philosophy, politics, and psychology doesn't help matters, self help is addictive too, but I've decide people are a bigger problem, lol.
Downloading this so I can come back to it next time I get "stuck". Thank you!!!
Thank you so much for your videos,
but you did not mentioned about the people who always force to ruminating? and how to handle them?
I'm in that space right now. Ruminating over the past and worrying about the well being of loved ones especially my Mother. This is linked to a sudden bout of depression which feels like it came out of nowhere, there was no build up. I will try these tips and see how I get on. Thank you for the advice.
I hope this helps! Let us know!
I've always been a ruminator, but never had a name for it until the last week. Recently I was referred to this video by another health professional after I sought help when experiencing vicarious trauma after serving on a jury. This resulted in probably the worst rumination I've experienced. This is helpful, especially steps 1, and 2. I've also been working on step 5 by using short meditation classes on Netflix. I've also saved this to my Watch Later list so i can come back and refer to it whenever I need. Thanks!
You are welcome! I totally understand how a difficult jury trial could cause vicarious trauma as well as rumimation. Wishing you all the best!
Holy! There’s meditation on Netflix?? Checking that out now
Thank you!!!! This helped me so much!!! I have a lot of work to do, but this even gave me some immediate relief!!!
Very useful! Thank you. I might even write these down so I don’t forget and will look at them when ruminating
Thank you! This is the most helpful video I ever watched about this topic! I'm truly grateful to you for having posted it, I'll most certainly share it. 🙏🙏🙏
Everything you discussed in this video is me.... I'm in shock... You're my hero... And I have all of the thongs its connected to... I'm going to begin working on this eight now... Thank you so much.. My sisters do this too. Its the darkest path to go down... Because nothing comes from it accept anger and sadness.. Thank you!!!
Hi Barbara, when I ruminate, I ruminate about others. How wrong they are. Very tiring for my mind. Great video. Thank you.
You are so welcome. I hope this is helpful!
Hi Barbara. Your videos have been very helpful to me to better understand the constant state of worry and anxiety that I’ve been under the past year.
Thank You for sharing this with us. But it is just so difficult to stop ruminating at times.
I totally agree! Practicing helps!
Are shared this with my twenty one year old granddaughter. Thank you so much.
I know it’s just hard to let go something I had no control over. Like when my past learning strategies said no to pictures and begged her to reconsider and I ended up ruminating for months until the end of my junior year. Now, my current teacher Mrs. Z doesn’t want to do pictures with me anymore on the school cell phone because I end up getting fixated on pictures, she put a stop to it by setting up a boundary but she said she will do with other students because they won’t get fixated. I just need to be understanding and respecting of her decision but it’s hard sometimes and I get sensitive when she says no
I loved this video!! It helped me a lot! Also idk if I’m the only one but I ruminate so much I can ruminate when I’m singing aswell 🥲I’d have to really focus on the lyrics to stop myself from it
EXCELLENT video. Very helpful the way you explain what makes rumination unhealthy in an easy to understand and concrete way. You describe What Rumination is and Why it is unhealthy. You call it the Five Themes of Rumination. Next, you describe the Five Steps to Stop Rumination. What I found to be the most relevant was to First Recognize it, Label it, and Interrupt it. (Can be very difficult to actually get into your thoughts and know when to stop them). What I found a bit confusing and enlightening, at the same time, was the Distinction between What you are ruminating about AND the act of rumination which, in itself, can be a Cause of anxiety, depression, and OCD. For example, a man I know is constantly mentioning his son who died at the age of 16 (many years ago), He seems obsessed with it. Is this the Event which is distressing or his Rumination about it? One problem I had with the start of your Video was when you began with "Rumination is the Worse." I have used the word rumination for many years and the main definition of Rumination in the Dictionary is "Contemplate, meditate, mull over, think about".. This is the way I have always used the concept of Rumination and have heard others use it in this way. So I was initially confused, but you do go on to make your definition clear. But, I firmly believe that not all rumination is the Worse as you claim at the start. I often ruminate about topics in philosophy and religion which I study for intellectual growth and satisfaction. This kind of Rumination produces happiness. Still, I Loved your video and find your videos on these topics to be the BEST on UA-cam and I hope that some of my opinions do not sound too petty.
Beth - thanks SO much for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your taking the time to do so. And I agree, rumination can be seen as thinking about something fully, contemplating, etc, in which case it can be a positive. I agree I could have clarified that. And, yes to the point re the rumination causing the problem!! SO glad you found this helpful.
Sometimes I get stuck in rumination, because i don't know how to deal with it , but now because of you i can cope with it. Iam grateful for you.
Thank you for letting me know. 😀🙏
Yup I do this I'm more aware of now I do my best to stop it