Detect, Decode Narcissist's Signals
Вставка
- Опубліковано 10 жов 2024
- Signaling: body language, (micro)expressions, behaviors, words
Virtue/superiority
Supply triggering
Maintenance
Reactance/invulnerability
Fantasy/daydreaming
Idealization-devaluation
Approach-avoidance
Signal
Noise
signal-to-noise ratio (S/N)
interpersonal gap
signal anxiety
signal detection theory (SDT)
d prime
receiver-operating characteristic curve (ROC curve)
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oh yes, the body language and micro expressions of contempt are SO heartwarming. 😂 Thank you Professor AND Scott Rouse, my heroes!
My narc ex is a doctor, and whenever he lost a patient he would appropriate the religion of the family who was mourning the death. I told him it was very inappropriate to fake religion to deal with uncomfortable situations. In this sense, I think it’s interesting because he fluctuates between imitative worldviews to extract supply.
In addition, with regards to our relationship, he consistently faked empathy and emotional sincerity. When I saw him fake with other people, the penny dropped that it was happening to me too.
As for his reaction to vulnerability, it’s like blood in the water for him. He would immediately come in to solve a problem that elates his ego, or he would dismiss emotions as fleeting or arbitrary. In this sense, he would enjoy stepping on people who have sensitivities or emotions. By doing so, he signalled his superiority over people who are ‘aflicted’ by human experience.
I was only intelligent until I started questioning him 😂 especially within the Humanities (something he is barely an armchair scholar in). I was always the one who was misreading or misinterpreting academic texts 💆🏼
And then, the ‘get away’ signal 😂 this is what broke the veil of the shared fantasy for me. Where his words vs his actions were so confusing that the cognitive dissonance overwhelmed me out of the shared fantasy. He ignored me for a week after we had an argument. Best part is I phoned him at work, asked why he was in this relationship, he didn’t know, so I put down the phone and dumped him over text. He called me back 20 hours later to confirm with me that I did in fact dump him 😂 signalling his ego was bruised from being reverse discarded.
I told him:
I accept you as you are and I reject you.
Another amazing theory from physics connected to the human mind. 30:19 the D prime example of receptiveness for subtle nuances and body language absolutely genius
I am reading a book about breast MRI and just now came across the topic signal/noise ratio !
I’ve always wondered why I meet and speak with people that I feel like I’m bending spoons with my mind to understand them. Sometimes it starts out smooth and then it goes all wonky. Sometimes I wonder if, because things were going smooth, they have to be the one to introduce chaos to the conversation. I just dealt with an interior designer that wants to hire me to do some custom carpentry for her client. Things started out ok, but then I noticed she want using building vernacular correctly. So I set that aside and got granular with her. Now I will be using drawings and schematics for her to sign before I build anything to avoid problems as much as I can. This happens a lot, most the time I pass the “high conflict personality “ onto someone else but things have been slow, gotta settle for putting food on the table by any means necessary at this moment.
even if you get it in writing with these people, it means nothing unless you have an attorney. Try to get things notarized when they sign. Good luck.
Idk, if it happens to you frequently, it might be that you are the one with the communication problem, especially for the way you describe it. I don't mean this in a bad way, but I'm in the autistic spectrum and I've encoutered numberless situations where I thought everything was fine (at least "normal") and then people reacted back in a very agressive way, due to they've been missinterpreting all that I have been saying. Most common comments I get is that I am bragging, that I'm insensitive/disrespectful, or that I'm lying (funny because I never lie).
@@Dan_Chiron nuance is king. I try to keep a practice of humility, so I do always wonder if it’s me or I’ve done something, so I have gone as far as having coaching on communication, listening and taking detailed notes and what not. But, now that I have learned so much about cluster b, this communication breakdown from what I understand is part of a cluster of characteristics I’m observing in that person. As far as frequency, no one is perfect, I could use more improvement on my end but I my father and mother were high in cluster b traits, so I think that I might have a broken “people picker” problem. I screen clients for cluster b traits, if there is a cluster or some overt traits I politely tell them that they are not a good fit for me and give them another contractors number.
The theory makes big sense to me and it actually is a great relief !
Thank you for sharing it , Professor Vaknin!
I was always told By my ex husband, that my communication was false, whenever he could not concentrate ( maybe internal noise?) or that I was aggressive, etc. "I would not let him speak a single word " e.g. - this would hit me painfully , because I was trying ever so hard to be kind and clear and I was listening very much, hopelessly trying to get the ever changing message.
Actually this impossibillity helped me to split up after many years.
There were a few brief phases of nice signalling on his side, too . The dissonance of the narrative " it is all about your behaviour and communication" and the fact that I could not find correlation between my signaling and the responses helped me to give up trying to "get it right"
Now co parenting a 16 year old son, who chooses to live with my ex.
I recieve many phone calls from my son about the similar patterns. From the outside it is astonishing, how much more our son managed to recieve ( he has aspergers) in comparison to his dad.
I just stay as calm as I can. My son seems to need my listening more than my responses ( but I would have no idea, what to respond 😔🤔.)
Any ideas or experiences, anybody..?
I love the big light in the beginning 😂
My x na3c was a hoarder also, can't go of anything! It was painful to see 😢ill always have a place in my heart for him but I couldn't save him 😢
Save yourself, you did the right thing, it's best to not try to make a relationship with one of us work. I am a self-aware diagnosed narcissist, if you're interested in learning more my channel here is Narcissist Hex, God bless stay safe!
My narc is trying to get her flying monkeys, and new partners to fight with me even after 8 months no contact - is this normal ?
100% normal for narcs, 0% normal for normal folks
You shouldn’t have this information; you are not in no contact. Cut ties with people who might act as intermediaries, or make it clear to them to respect your boundaries. Even if you still feel something inside, on the outside make it seem like everything concerning her/him is of no importance to you. Detaching from the toxic environment is equally essential to break free from the toxic dynamic.
same here
Do NOT break no contact. Everything is manipulation
If you are no contact, you should have no way of knowing that.
I have a question about my narcissistic ex's behavior: She blocks on Whatsapp, and I don't care. After day or two, she unblocks and puts some negative message about our son. If I don't respond, she blocks. And this repeats and repeats. She has new supply, and I have new stable girlfriend. Is this some negative supply seeking, hoovering or what? She was really delusional during discard.
HELP! shoshannim, shoshannim
How do I react to this signaling when my 68 year old husband is pretending like a three year old that I don't exist and won't talk to me at all for no reason. He purposely places things, chairs, vacuum, broom, garbage, everything in the middle of where we walk all day long, just so that I have to constantly move everything out of the way, and he purposely puts things all over the counters for me to put in the trash. And the minute I come in the house, he blares the TV volume real loud, a lot of times full volume, (but he doesn't watch the TV), while at the same time he blares his tablet volume real loud. I know, he wants to have arguments, which I don't give him. If I tell him to turn the volume down, he makes it louder.
You have really helped me understand a lot. Thank you!
Good morning! 💜📚💜
Hello professor, few questions:
When the narc is sending signals or doing things in order to get narc supply, why do they turn this behavior into a routine? When they are sending others signals in order to make them react negatively, why can they go on for years sometimes although they’re getting no reaction from the people that they’re trying to provoke, while still keeping this routine going?
Could it be that, if they don’t get a reaction, they can still get narc supply out of it?
Greetings Prof. Sam. Would there also be a similar compilation for psychopath signals? Also, could you please help us better understand "the narcissist decompensates..". What situations require compensation & what changes when one with PDs decompensates. How do mentally healthy people process this? Thanks, & good luck!
How else does a healthy person that just got any glimpse of hope ripped from her ?
Good Morning Sir.❤😂
Strange how am I attracted to this man even though I he is double my age. So HOT. Maybe because I am a borderline woman who felt understood first time ever watching his videos. Sam, if you ever decide to leave your relationship, fancy a 30year old irresistible borderline? 😂
Wonderdul vidoe, thank you
Love you Sam
Xo
lmfaooo. why i got to be a narcissist to do all this shit. cuz i'm not.
At the end of the day throughout
their whole life ,
👉 when they saw all signal given by
them 👈 ,
none did worked ever , at all ,
the residual leftout remains
for them :---
is ,
a complete hopeless case ,
where nothing could be achieved
by a narcissist .
✔
✔ ✔ .
My narc ex blocked me lol she never blocks anyone….wonder why
Power play, last word. I am also blocked but I was expecting it. I did block him first on one social media platform and he turned around and blocked me on another. 😂 if I wasn't a high mach this would hurt my feelings but since I am I'm looking at it as a game of chess. I know he is watching me from a fake account so I post random stuff and 😂 as he scratches his head. And then sit and wait for those flying monkeys to reveal themselves. Checking for leaks 😊
@@yanab7177 thanks but she has a new boyfriend I cut her off once I found out for some bizarre reason she asked me to meet her and tried to make conversation once I found out but I just went silent. Since then it’s been 4 months I’ve been blocked I suspect she has given up by now