How to Deal with Self Criticism: 7 Tips

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  • Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
  • Do you ever put too much pressure on yourself? Do you compare yourself to others on social media? Today I wanted to share my take on how to deal with self criticism and overwhelm because I'm pretty sure we all do this on some level in our lives.
    After taking a break I've been feeling unproductive and a bit overwhelmed by all that I want to do but am not doing at the moment. Add into the mix comparing my low points to the high points of others on social media. I realize that I go through phases of feeling strong, empowered, inspired and creative, and dip into phases of feeling lazy, unproductive and low energy - and then I feel bad/guilty/disappointed about being that way. My overachieving mind always seems to make me feel like I'm never doing enough.
    Today's tips are some ways I'm learning to deal with this and rise above it. I'm doing better now, especially after some journaling sessions and meditation to bring me back to Love. Hope you enjoyed these tips, and can't wait to hear your tips too.
    // how to deal with self criticism
    1. Understand you are your own worst critic
    2. Embrace and honor your cycles
    3. Forgive yourself for being hard on yourself
    4. Take care of your body
    5. Disconnect from social media
    6. Reflect: What do you have now that you once wished for?
    7. Do something that brings you joy
    // related videos
    → You Are Enough: Self Worth & Comparison Traps | bit.ly/2IMLCut
    → Self Sabotage: How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself | bit.ly/30SvBqM
    → Release What's Holding You Back | bit.ly/2LBzw80
    // blog post |
    www.lavendaire...
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    💛 Subscribe to my podcast The Lavendaire Lifestyle | lavendaire.com...
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    // R E S O U R C E S
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    ___
    Filmed by Aileen Xu | @lavendaire
    Edited by Loryn Teranishi | @yoloryn
    Transcription by Alicia Lalicon | alicia.lalicon@gmail.com
    Music | Egzod - Paper Crowns ft Leo The Kind (Nurko Remix)
    ∙ bit.ly/2Lr3GYy
    Outro music by Eventide | bit.ly/2wW9Xa8
    // M A I L B O X
    Aileen Xu
    PO Box 296
    Brea, CA 92822
    Business inquiries & music submissions | lavendaire@select.co
    ___
    // A B O U T
    I’m Aileen, a lifestyle blogger sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life.
    Lavendaire is my blog about personal growth + lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a life you love.
    Subscribe to Lavendaire to get inspired by new videos weekly! bit.ly/sublaven...
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    Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 618

  • @lavendaire
    @lavendaire  Рік тому +3

    Hi loves! ✨ We just launched a new community program ft. masterminds and monthly live events for personal growth & wellness! Learn more & join here → lavendaire.com/DLC 🫶

  • @martazazembowska6391
    @martazazembowska6391 6 років тому +324

    1. Ask someone about your good things
    2. Talk with yourself
    3. Make a list with sentences to read while bad mood
    4. Listen some motivations videos/soundtrack
    5. Pray
    6. Meditate
    7. Make a journal which helps u
    8. Take yourself for a selfdate and recover

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +17

      Marta Zażembłowska thank you for this list ❤️❤️

    • @dreamnight2905
      @dreamnight2905 6 років тому +1

      Everyone tells me to take it easy. Im always anxious. N i get stress easily..

  • @Thevortexway
    @Thevortexway 6 років тому +239

    I love the fact that you are a young girl talking about self-development and not a 60 year old guy from which I cannot relate. I feel so inspired by your authenticity and confidence 💕 Thank you for being so raw and real

  • @lavendaire
    @lavendaire  6 років тому +422

    Reading your comments & I think it's so crazy how a lot of you say things like "this came at the perfect time" or "I needed this today" -- I'm always AMAZED. It's synchronicity (if you haven't heard the word before, look it up), basically the universe giving you a "coincidence" that's really a sign that you're on the right path. A sign that you're guided and protected.
    Anyway, I LOVE YOU & HAPPY WEEKEND!! 😍
    If you liked this video then you'll def love this one too → You Are Enough: Self Worth & Comparison Traps | bit.ly/2IMLCut (one of my FAVES)

    • @gymnadeniarubra
      @gymnadeniarubra 6 років тому +10

      While you were writing this comment I was watching your video and realizing that my life wouldn't be the same without your videos.
      Another coincidence ♥️

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +6

      Aww ❤️

    • @aumboonn1749
      @aumboonn1749 6 років тому +2

      Lavendaire Really is! I’m also suffering in this issue right now. Thank you anyway ❤️

    • @natiagogichaishvili3556
      @natiagogichaishvili3556 6 років тому

      Thinking about writing how I needed this video and then reading this comment ☺
      Thank you, Aileen 💗

    • @megankrantz9658
      @megankrantz9658 6 років тому

      I have been needing this for weeks now. I have been stuck in a low, so YES, this was perfect timing.

  • @annaleecherisse8958
    @annaleecherisse8958 6 років тому +53

    I wanted to have a daughter. Now i have a beautiful, kind, intelligent, empathetic 11year old daughter. She is such a light in my life.

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +2

      🙂🙂🙂 so beautiful

  • @kyrar.749
    @kyrar.749 6 років тому +130

    I feel like self criticism is a side effect of self improvement. Self improvement without selflove. If your constantly on your way to perfecting yourself and your constantly observing and analyzing yourself it's no wonder you sometimes get disappointed... I like the idea of the seasons and circles. Everyone should know that it's normal to sometimes be sad or lazy or irrational etc. But advertising and media in general tell us that if your not happy you're doing something wrong.
    I hope I got my thoughts clear because English is not my mother tongue!

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +10

      I think you’re right!

    • @alohadeslynn
      @alohadeslynn 5 років тому +2

      Wisdom. Thanks for sharing

    • @starfire73
      @starfire73 3 роки тому

      Exactly same

    • @jennifercueto6997
      @jennifercueto6997 Рік тому

      That’s a great insight, I’ve thought about the same thing too

  • @surlespasdondine
    @surlespasdondine 6 років тому +45

    I have two kids and finished writing a manuscript for a book - two things I only ever dreamed about! We so often forget to be grateful!

  • @mizpahjoy7798
    @mizpahjoy7798 6 років тому +20

    i dont know if i should call it a tip, but every time i feel down, im sad, insecure, i always look myself in the mirror, look closely, stare at myself for a minute and say positive words; saying, declaring it with a brave voice and brave faith YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE GOING TO BE A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN, ETC. it helps a lot because I am reminded of the things I always forget. at the end of the day, the person that can make you feel better is you
    ps: do this when nobody can see you. lol

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +1

      MJ SY lovely! Love great affirmations. I’ll usually journal it to myself lol

  • @hussnagaysar6339
    @hussnagaysar6339 6 років тому +34

    Few years ago I was only able to read simple English paragraph...so I wanted to be able to watch videos in English....now I can watch videos in English as they are already in my mother language without any subtitles most of the time....I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS

  • @d.h2900
    @d.h2900 6 років тому +224

    Can you do a video about how to deal with the point of life where your goals feel very unachivable and you just feel like the whole universe is against you. How to actually make yourself get to that goals again!

    • @sairainbow2829
      @sairainbow2829 6 років тому +8

      Dea Hasanaj wow! Your idea is awesome she should definitely do that. Please Aileen!

    • @d.h2900
      @d.h2900 6 років тому +1

      Sai Rainbow Studio yes ty. I hope she sees it!

    • @sairainbow2829
      @sairainbow2829 6 років тому +1

      Dea Hasanaj of course. She will

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +29

      Ah I’ll think about how to tackle that one!

    • @sairainbow2829
      @sairainbow2829 6 років тому +1

      Lavendaire thanks.

  • @Sara.Brandt.Autorin
    @Sara.Brandt.Autorin 6 років тому +66

    As a kid I dreamed of being a writer. Today my third novel came out, I finished my fourth one and currently planning the fifth (everyone on german)- something I would never ever have thought of! But I am totally happy with it, even if it is stressful sometimes, to write with being a student, a fulltime and a part-time worker. But somehow I managed it, and it feels really great!

  • @Thefitty
    @Thefitty 6 років тому +32

    *Since losing my job last week, I spent the entire this week criticizing myself for being unproductive and not earning any money. What a wonderful way to end the week with this video, Aileen! And please pray for me!*

    • @TamaraTheMinimalist
      @TamaraTheMinimalist 6 років тому +4

      Hey girl I just quit my job too, im so glad because the time we have now will help us discover more about ourselves:)

    • @Thefitty
      @Thefitty 6 років тому +3

      Tamara that's a very positive way to put things in perspective! Thanks for the tip :)

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +9

      🙏🏼🙏🏼 everything will work out for a higher purpose. Sending love!

    • @Thefitty
      @Thefitty 6 років тому +2

      Lavendaire thank you so much! I'm coming to Vancouver this coming week actually. Would you be down to meet up and say hello?

  • @lyasaskia2456
    @lyasaskia2456 6 років тому +22

    Find gratitude is the most important ❤️❤️❤️

  • @shizunsbingpup3276
    @shizunsbingpup3276 6 років тому +22

    I'm a number 1 self-criticism 😔 I've always been criticising myself for every little thing. But this video is so helpful. This made me better. Thank you Aileen ❤

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому

      Proud EXO-Leo Dicaprio 💖💖

  • @SeeKaysee
    @SeeKaysee 6 років тому +91

    Ok. So I know I'm one of many here - but SERIOUSLY I needed this. I just spent a whole week upset at myself because I wasn't as productive as I usually am. I was constantly beating myself up - for absolutely no good reason. All of the items on my to-do list were self imposed. Thank you

    • @formomtaz1790
      @formomtaz1790 6 років тому

      th3noble.blogspot.com/2018/05/Legal-migration.html

  • @alizaejaz5970
    @alizaejaz5970 Рік тому

    that prompt really did make me realize that the 'me of today' has so much more and better than the 'me of yesterday' and that just makes me wanna be grateful and put those negative emotions aside and do something of value that the 'me of tomorrow' would be grateful for

  • @teatodd2
    @teatodd2 5 років тому +2

    You explained who I am within the 1st 3min of this video. I've been binge watching your videos today. Thank you for the quality content.

  • @gabrielaloula5437
    @gabrielaloula5437 4 роки тому +1

    when I was younger I would constantly put myself down because I didn't like the way I looked, but with time and patience (and a lot of self caring) I am better at loving myself

  • @cutiecatnoob
    @cutiecatnoob 6 років тому +3

    I have been dealing with this, this past week. The universe is amazing and wonderful! Those of us dealing with this have been brought here to receive this message to help us

  • @sz6234
    @sz6234 3 роки тому

    The fact I wanted to enter a medical college, and be a doctor , was my biggest dream. This has come true and I am so thankful to God. Your podcasts are amazing . Thank you .

  • @patriciagutierrez2550
    @patriciagutierrez2550 6 років тому +1

    At the end of the day, I write/say at least 3 things that I am thankful for. It just makes me appreciate even the little but great things that are happening in my life. Whenever I do that, even after a really long & tiring day, I end up smiling and being thankful for everything that happened that day, good or bad. :)
    Thank you for this very timely video! ✨

  • @MorganTracyJ
    @MorganTracyJ 6 років тому +73

    This video is so uplifting.

  • @ameliaaman3334
    @ameliaaman3334 6 років тому +2

    My tips is realize that I'm in my low point, then do little things like doing chores, ironing, etc. Those make me feel achieve something, eventhough just a little and unrelated :)

  • @maringoapple
    @maringoapple 6 років тому +11

    thank you for helping me out of my struggle, love from Japan🇯🇵

    • @cyaonix
      @cyaonix 3 роки тому

      頑張って下さい🤗

  • @girlintobooks
    @girlintobooks 6 років тому

    Thank you, Aileen for addressing an important issue faced by many. "Facebook depression" is a growing phenomena in today's social media frenzy world. Please know that what people post on social media is not really how their lives are. Everyone struggles and everyone finds life difficult. It's just that in today's success and perfection obsessed culture, the truth gets lost. Love yourself, love people around you and support each other.

  • @dusteematthews3338
    @dusteematthews3338 6 років тому

    i got accepted into a prestigious summer camp a couple of days ago and instead of being happy for myself, i’ve spent this entire time wondering if i should even go because i do not believe that i’m smart enough. it involves written assignments, oral presentations, projects, etc. and all i can think about is how much better everyone else will be at writing, at public speaking, at creativity in general. i hate that i cannot ever seem to fully convince myself, in any situation, that i am intellectually capable of belonging in a situation such as this program i’ve been offered. anyways, my point in saying all of this is just to say that this video came at the right time. my situation may not directly apply but, regardless, this is advice i really needed to hear today. if anything, it brought my spirits up. thank you.

  • @fictionallyyours850
    @fictionallyyours850 2 роки тому

    This past week I did exactly what you talked about...overthinking and being hard on myself....just making myself restless the whole time. Thanks for this!

  • @gr33neyes1000
    @gr33neyes1000 6 років тому +1

    I love the "what did you once wish/dream of that you now have?" section such a refreshing way to look at life, and how much we have achieved already. Thank you for this new positive perspective

  • @anavii12
    @anavii12 6 років тому

    I really like number 6. I know we should always be grateful for the things we have, and I have been for the past couple of months. But I noticed that I am mpre grateful for the smaller things. I haven't stopped and thought about the bigger things I've worked hard to accomplish. Thank you, Aileen for reminding me.

  • @anyab812
    @anyab812 6 років тому

    Exactly, you can't have summer without winter, and you can't have happy moments without sad moments

  • @jasminirisha3589
    @jasminirisha3589 6 років тому +16

    Thank you Lavendaire, it really help me to realise that I have actually achieved some things in life that I couldn’t or even think of before. I’m really on the downside of my life but you make feel a bit better. Thank you so much

  • @aysams2
    @aysams2 3 роки тому +1

    The thing that i wanted from last two years & have now, is being an IITian. JEE Advanced is the hardest examination of India to get into the Prestigious Institutes IITs for becoming an engineer. Nobody helped me & I'd taken no coaching due to financial limitations. And whenever I think about it, it boosts my confidence to another level, from 2018 - 2020 I worked so hard blindly, to achieve this dream of mine & today I'm very much proud on myself.

  • @jaylinpierce4577
    @jaylinpierce4577 4 роки тому +1

    I had this really down time earlier this year (or i guess it’s about to be last year) and I really want to change things for myself. I’m still a kid but I work in professional theatre so that is a time consuming and self-degrading activity. I really wish I discovered your channel back then, but I am glad I have it now.

  • @evelijn7566
    @evelijn7566 6 років тому

    Hey Aileen! Thank you for your amazing videos! I love them!
    I have another writing exercise for you when it comes to self criticism: Have a dialogue with your inner critic.
    While this may feel counter-intuitive, it is actually healthy to let that critic speak every once in a while instead of ignoring it all the time. What you eventually may find is that the critic evolves into another person in your mind, instead of it being part of yourself. Let them speak, thank them for their concern and then ask them politely (or less politely) to shut up.

  • @bahareskandary9619
    @bahareskandary9619 6 років тому

    Omg.that was a much needed video.now I don’t have drama in my life,which is good. I have a dream job(I am a physics teacher at high school). I finally get a car. I can paint with water color eventually . I can dance now. I have a good handwriting now . I overcome social media which I am proud of.and I can understand English today without taking classes or spending money on that. I think I am doing good.for coming year I am planning for writing a book and having speeches at high schools.

  • @sgpeace3067
    @sgpeace3067 4 роки тому

    Thank you for this video Lavendaire.
    The fact that I have freedom to live my life my way and have my family's support in this was my dream once upon a time. It was a dream to ever be able to make real true friends in life. It was absolutely frightening to see myself doing anything anywhere out there in the world. I am grateful that I'm living what was once my dream. Truly grateful to this universe.

  • @tabassummohona1965
    @tabassummohona1965 6 років тому +1

    How she gives all the credits to other people..Not only you're gorgeous outside but also inside. I love you.God bless you.you're like my family who supports and encourages me to do things😍😍😍

  • @paulapena4347
    @paulapena4347 6 років тому

    I feel like this is a huge struggle in my life right now, dealing with critics and jealous and the feeling that everyone is getting what they want and i havent and that everyone elses life is more interesting tan mine. Your videos are really helpful bc you make me feel and believe that I can be as I want to and that I have the power of creating my Dream life.

  • @PlantBasedBride
    @PlantBasedBride 6 років тому +2

    Love that journaling prompt! A couple things I have now that I always wanted... a wonderful husband whom I love deeply and loves me for exactly who I am, flaws and all. Two lovely kittens who make every moment a delight with their antics and cuddles. A home for my family that feels like a home and is ours to mold into whatever we want and need.

  • @abhirami7161
    @abhirami7161 6 років тому +13

    You are the inspiration for me to live my dream life and I always mention you in all my morning pages. I write morning pages after watching your videos and now I finished about 2books. I am feeling so proud. Also I wrote a letter to you and keeping it in my journal as you say at one of your video. Thank you so much Aileen for helping me to live my dream life. I am also listening to your podcasts and also following you in Instagram and Twitter. I love you so much. Thank you for one more time. Bye have a great day💋

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +1

      Anything / Everything wow thank you 🙏🏼✨ so proud of your growth!

    • @abhirami7161
      @abhirami7161 6 років тому +1

      Aileen you are welcome.💝

  • @hazelintia2733
    @hazelintia2733 6 років тому

    I once dreamed of graduating with honors in college but I doubted myself at that time because I was down to my second to the last semester and my grade was insufficient to become an honors' graduate.
    So i studied really hard and did my best for the last semester to make the grade and guess what! I graduated with honors in my university and it was overwhelming! Life is truly beautiful. 🌻
    Now at the age of 21, Im trying to finish my Master's Degree and I'm doubting myself again if ever I could graduate. Because graduate school is so much pressure 😭 Im at that point that I want to quit.
    But thanks to this video, it light up my spark again! You inspired me to keep going and embrace my failures and not be too hard on myself.
    Thank you very much! This video really came at the right time. Trust the universe! 🌼 I love you Aileen ❤️ Keep shining ✨🌻🌷

  • @mck_belle
    @mck_belle 6 років тому

    Wow, that tip with the going through seasons thing is just what I needed. Last semester I was so productive and motivated and lately I've been so unmotivated and just, not as positive and productive as I was before. I've been beating myself up about it, but you're right. I don't always have to be majorly growing and changing. It's okay that I've gone into another cacoon right now, because soon I'll emerge even better than before. Thank you 💛

  • @karl.aschnikow8087
    @karl.aschnikow8087 6 років тому +3

    This was so needed. I'm in my last semester for my bachelor's degrees and today I got the results of my last exams. The results were pretty good, i did even think I failed 2 of those exams and my gpa went up 0.8 points. But today I wasn't happy, I was only thinking about my thesis and how stressful it is and how I should have studied more etc. Also in times like these when I am stressed out, I really forget taking care about myself and I get sick a lot. Thank you so much!

  • @planneraddiction1277
    @planneraddiction1277 5 років тому +1

    I am a little depressed today
    "You have cycles of ups and downs"
    It is wright
    Yesterday i falt like i am so happy person
    Thank you for your tip
    It is helpful

  • @colleencraven739
    @colleencraven739 6 років тому +1

    Omg Aileen, I literally can not thank you enough for this. I graduated college a year ago and the struggle of finding employment has really caused my once hidden anxiety and self-criticism to bubble up. Sometimes its hard to find the time to apply for new jobs and be productive and it made my day so much better to watch this video and remember I've already accomplished so much. I'm definitely keeping this video in a playlist so I can watch it over and over anytime I'm struck with self criticism and anxiety.

  • @AndiLynn
    @AndiLynn 6 років тому

    Thank you! When I was younger I wanted nothing more than to run a business of my own and work around animals. At 19 I opened a pet store. I often look at it now as a bit of a burden because of the time commitment it requires and how much pressure is now on me. My friends get to travel and I feel stuck. That prompt though really made me realise I need to appreciate where I'm at since there was a time in my life where this was all I wanted. And be grateful for what it's done for me. I'm still going to look forward to traveling and new experiences, but I really should be more grateful for what I've accomplished so far 😊

  • @samadritabanerjee6140
    @samadritabanerjee6140 6 років тому +5

    After watching this video I think there is no space for sadness in my life💗 loads of love to lavendaire. You make me happy every time😊

  • @Fefe559
    @Fefe559 Рік тому

    I found one of your morning meditations recently and now I am so into it! I am 58 and have never been able to meditate, but I love your voice and the tone, its just perfect and I am loving it. Now I am going to watch your other videos, I want to heal my broken nervous system.

  • @ma.paulachavez7546
    @ma.paulachavez7546 4 роки тому

    Maybe the reason why I end up beating myself is because I wasn't productive as I once am. I needed to hear this. Thank you so much :') 💖

  • @mayuri2365
    @mayuri2365 6 років тому +4

    I was thinking that only I have such problem of self criticizing. Thank you so much..You are my angel..

  • @marijana2001
    @marijana2001 6 років тому

    I've spent last two hours watching videos on your channel and the more I watched it, the more I've felt calm, in peace, like, I'm so relaxed right now, my mind is so clean and I've set my priorities straight. Ten minutes ago, I've started changing my room and making sure that everything is on it's place and clean. Also, I wrote down a lot of your advices and planned a lot of things. I saw that a lot of people are saying that this came at the perfect time and honestly, this really came at the perfect time because I'm going through a lot lately and there is a real tornado in my head. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful person and for sharing your positive thoughts and vibes, you've really helped me a lot! Sending good vibes to you too!

  • @hluteisailo
    @hluteisailo 6 років тому +13

    Hi Lavendaire your channel always gets me through tough times...love your hair colour everytime 😍

  • @sachadanielle6596
    @sachadanielle6596 5 років тому +1

    It's like you could literally see inside my head! Thank you for making this video Aileen x

  • @lizbethperez1223
    @lizbethperez1223 4 роки тому

    I finally feel as if I found somebody who understands what I’m going through & Got some real advice on what to do. Thank you❤️

  • @mhyntea
    @mhyntea 6 років тому +3

    I love you and your channel ❤ I have been going through what is called the Dark Nights of the Soul in my yoga, meditation, and spiritual journey. But, your videos and podcasts remind me to be more grateful and compassionate to myself. Thank you! 💕

  • @kamori96
    @kamori96 6 років тому

    I really needed this Aileen~ it's graduation season and I've been feeling extra down lately because I won't be graduating from college this year as planned. Instead, I'll be taking a 5th year and even though I know that it isn't necessarily bad, I just feel so behind from my friends and peers that will be finishing up next month. In the past 2 years, I've felt like I've taken many steps back rather than forward - from doing poorly in my academics, to feeling like I can't even achieve what I want to do after college, and just isolating myself from others. Everyone seems like they're moving forward with their lives while I'm just standing still and being complacent. I hope I can implement these tips so I can start feeling better~ :)

  • @faresa7365
    @faresa7365 6 років тому +5

    I love your eyes! they so full of life.
    Thanks for the video,I really needed this.Lately I have been so bad to myself for not being as successful as I wished to be

  • @sophiamyambala1405
    @sophiamyambala1405 6 років тому

    So I uninstalled my Instagram account, asked myself who I am outside of how people choose to define me? What matters to me? I'm now putting my focus back onto a project that will help vulnerable people in the community. I've always been inspired by your videos. Thanks for the reminders presented her. I will definitely start listening to your podcast :)

  • @annemariarendi6402
    @annemariarendi6402 6 років тому +5

    I wished to have a dog and three years ago I got my favourite little doggo❤️ Time goes so fast and I just remember the moment when I saw him for the first time. Now I’ve had him for 3 years and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. I loved todays video, because it gave me so much more confidence and tips to appreciate myself! Thank you for always making my day✨🌻

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +1

      Annemari Arendi aww so precious!

  • @moonlightbxe
    @moonlightbxe 4 роки тому

    Im two years later but i think i just discover this channel on the perfect moment and i love this channel is so helpful!

  • @lu8201
    @lu8201 5 років тому

    💗. Creative Expression e.g. drawing, sing, dance sing ,medutating , release and being in nature is so soothing xx

  • @cassinthecapital3490
    @cassinthecapital3490 6 років тому

    Thank you! I have been enjoying your videos on life joy and really needed this one. I think it is important for everyone to remember when passing on “feedback” or criticism to others how much this can compound with their own criticism. This happened to me recently, and I feel like I have wasted five years on a useless venture; and I know that’s not what they intended. Healing, but getting out of my head was a big hurdle.

  • @OnPrinciple
    @OnPrinciple 6 років тому +12

    Thanks Aileen. Your videos/podcast always help me. I have problems with productivity and procrastination, which result in self criticism, specifically about what I didn't do-- basically word for word what you said in the beginning. I'm aware of it, enough so that now if I start going down that route, I'm able to catch myself and let go, but still I think a lot of it is deeply subconscious. Hearing it from you & your delivery is soothing, as always

  • @pm-ne2vt
    @pm-ne2vt 3 роки тому

    #4 is soo true!! I began doing Pilates and working out by myself (I used to do competitive swimming) during the pandemic and I feel so strong and flexible! I never once thought I would be able to work out by myself or have enough motivation to commit to exercising every day.

  • @maryrosettemugot7859
    @maryrosettemugot7859 6 років тому +3

    You never fail to inspire people. Thank you.

  • @mariaalexopoulou436
    @mariaalexopoulou436 6 років тому

    If I knew at your what you know I would have a dream life. I don't regret for the things I did. I' m 46 and a mother. I know now that it's never late to stop questioning and judging. I love you. Thanks for the inspiration.

  • @mshambay
    @mshambay 6 років тому

    I loved #6! I've dreamed of becoming an independent doctor for so long, and in two weeks that dream will come true. Yes, it's scary and I may not be perfect - but that's okay! I should just enjoy the fact that I am living my dream! Thank you!!

  • @brunoharari6454
    @brunoharari6454 6 років тому +7

    Everyone should watch this video... Thanks Aileen!

  • @cristinasalazar872
    @cristinasalazar872 6 років тому +1

    i know this is repetitive but it really blows my mind when you upload videos talking about things that i need to remind myself at that very moment. this whole week i‘ve been feeling like im not good enough and ive put a lot of pressure on myself, but after watching this i felt less alone and so much better. i like to think, like you said, that it‘s a sign from the universe. i honestly wouldnt be the same person i am today without your advice. ly ❤️

  • @yelash
    @yelash 6 років тому +80

    This is so helpful! I've always been criticizing myself and it makes me feel really bad that i havent been putting effort in anything that i do when i could be doing more, and this video really helped that thank you for this video aileen, helped alot. #notifsquad

    • @Thefitty
      @Thefitty 6 років тому +1

      FanFan_Laxy 23 you deserve more kindness towards yourself than you can imagine!

    • @lavendaire
      @lavendaire  6 років тому +1

      Glad it helped! Sending you love 💕

    • @formomtaz1790
      @formomtaz1790 6 років тому

      th3noble.blogspot.com/2018/05/Legal-migration.html

  • @kirakirayuuka
    @kirakirayuuka 6 років тому

    I love how U're talking about this now and making me feel better. While I'm still thinking of what to do with my life, point 6 is a pretty good tip. I think i need lots of reflection, although i feel overwhelmed that i didn't have the time to think clearly. But hearing ur voice made me relax and not feel so bad. 🙂 Thanks for being my spiritual healer. 💕

  • @sidorelazizolli7591
    @sidorelazizolli7591 6 років тому

    It is wired how in a single video you described exactly the way I have been feeling in the last couple of months. I really needed someone to just vocalize what so far has been only in my head. It has been hard but I will try out your tips and hope they will work. 💜💜

  • @adriapaes9693
    @adriapaes9693 6 років тому +10

    One thing that once I wished was to learn English and understand Britney Spears songs haha! Now I understand everyone's English and I also learn from it like from your videos! Thank you 🌻

  • @larrisadmello9363
    @larrisadmello9363 6 років тому +3

    This was much needed.
    Self criticism just happens unconsciously and then it leads to meta-cognition and thereafter leads to believing it.
    I so needed this one.
    Thanks Aileen!
    You're my 1st UA-camr who inspired me!!
    💓💓💓

  • @Lysana7
    @Lysana7 6 років тому

    I completely feel you! One thing to add to your list: just feel... feel the pressure you put on yourself ... feel the feeling that you don´t want to crush yourself with self-criticism... just feel the feeling.... THEN, only then you might be able to let it go... in my experience at least...although I´m still struggling with just feeling those feelings and not thinking and judging those feelings....hope my rambling makes a bit sense :D XX

  • @ririrodriguez3395
    @ririrodriguez3395 6 років тому +3

    Thank you for this video Aileen. I’ve totally not been on my A game for a while now- we had a bereavement. And as a business owner, if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. But hearing your tips have reminded me of so many truths, it’s been really positive to hear you speak on the subject. One tip to add is 🌸Acceptance 🌸 of the here and now. And knowing it’ll change, things will get better. Love your content. Wishing you love 💖 and light ⭐️xxxx

  • @wanjirumwoka6187
    @wanjirumwoka6187 6 років тому +1

    Thank you for making this uplifting video. I have so much to be thankful for...I used to dream of working in an industry that would make me feel happy every morning. Now I actually work in a place I love!

  • @carmelkimbalbieran2852
    @carmelkimbalbieran2852 5 років тому

    I never comment on your videos, but I always have been binging on them whenever I feel uninspired or just poopy about myself, and I'd always come back right on track! For the past four years, I've always have this cycle of self-criticism. I've always blamed myself and compared myself to others, even if nothing big happened. This video has enlightened me, and I hope I can make the change I've always wanted! Thank you so much Aileen.
    You have inspired me.

  • @ginh1709
    @ginh1709 6 років тому

    I randomly came across your video and I am glad I did. Serendipity! You're a breath of fresh air- thank you for sharing your wisdom, inspirations and positive vibes.
    "Be grateful for what you have, you'll end up having more. But if you focus on what you don't have, you'll never have enough." -- Oprah Winfrey

  • @Atmviola
    @Atmviola 6 років тому

    This has been really hard for me these past couple of years, because constant criticism/judgment is part of the music conservatory culture. One thing that’s really been helping me cope is tip number 5, disconnecting from social media. I’ve also been putting in the time to have slow mornings with coffee and podcasts, so there’s at least something I can look forward to in my “low season.”

  • @bobeialexandru6011
    @bobeialexandru6011 4 роки тому

    I closed my facebook account last week. I also uninstalled my messenger app... Yes, watching other people's posts can become toxic, not because you see their success, their realizations. It's because people tend to express to much their opinion on social media which at some point becomes overwhelming. And after 4-5 days, I already feel some relief. Looking forward to continue with this and put more time and effort in my main hobby which is music.

  • @internetpotato6734
    @internetpotato6734 6 років тому +1

    I have this one teacher who is really strict and has high expectations. In the beginning I was even scared of him. But I somehow managed to get an A in this class. I'm so proud of myself, because I worked hard for this, always doing my best aty homework and forcing myself to participate in lessons.
    Another thing would be that I'm managed to overcome my social anxiety. I meet friends more often and even made some new ones, which seemed impossible for me a year ago.
    So to everyone out there struggling. There is always a way. These days I like to tell myself that if it's bad that only means there's more space for improvement.

  • @ghostory8303
    @ghostory8303 6 років тому +1

    Thank you! Your video is just in time:) I forget since when do I think that I'm not really like other girls, they can go meetings with friends from primary schools, they are approved to have dressed themselves up well. I feel that I'm not a girl that I should be and I've put too much pressure on myself to try to be like other girls. I can't even buy cloths when shopping on my own. Maybe one day I can be what I wished to be. Thank you :)

  • @viviantd79
    @viviantd79 6 років тому

    Thank you Aileen for uploaded this video! I'm loving your tip on how to stop criticizing yourself from being influenced by the social media. My tip for not being critical on myself are to live in the present and appreciate the little things in life. I've worked as a nurse for almost 10 years and I have witnessed how precious life is from the beginning to the end. I have come realized that life is too short and if you're being critical on yourself, you'll be missing out on living your life to the fullest.

  • @Sophy2001
    @Sophy2001 6 років тому +4

    Omg you have such good advice and tips, it felt like you read my mind and gave answers to all of my worries. I am better person thanks to your channel. I hope you never run out of ideas and advice, these help a lot.

  • @niushasolooki1290
    @niushasolooki1290 3 роки тому

    Thank you Aileen for this inspiring video❤ whenever i start to critize myself some part of me start to say ok who the hell care what its going on you are doin ur best and i love you ! And this really helps me to feel more calm

  • @reciprocalhealing
    @reciprocalhealing 6 років тому

    TOTALLY GUILTY - so hard on myself about being productive, especially lately. - and you're killin' it. THANK-YOU! :)

  • @AbsandQlo
    @AbsandQlo 6 років тому +13

    this couldn’t have come at a better time!! i rly needed to hear this & you broke it down in such an enlightening & eloquent manner✨

  • @skavitha8989
    @skavitha8989 6 років тому

    wow..... what an amazing thing I came across today.... this really relates to me.... I felt so inferior about myself..and ... after watching this I feel so relaxed.. and know how to keep happy myself.... and how to outshine the criticism

  • @Iridescentlydreaming
    @Iridescentlydreaming 6 років тому +2

    I swear your videos are always so creepily in sync with what I need. Thank you so much for your awesomeness. Have an awesome weekend! Loads of love

  • @JoTwi1881
    @JoTwi1881 6 років тому +1

    Whenever I feel overwhelmed because I have so much to do and I’m not doing enough I decide that the day will be a take it easy day, and I stop rushing and I still get everything done, but i let myself have a mental break from stressing to have something done. :)

  • @jenealyanolanamoah1172
    @jenealyanolanamoah1172 6 років тому +5

    Thank you so much for making videos like this, they’ve honestly helped me so much these pass weeks

  • @jasminevelickovic7161
    @jasminevelickovic7161 6 років тому

    I just saw this video now and it's funny because I've been going through a similar thing lately. I've always criticised the parts of my body that aren't perfect, even though I'm as strong and as healthy as I've ever been. This past week I tried something different where after having a shower I look at myself in the mirror and put my hands on my hips, my stomach and my thighs and say I LOVE YOU. I keep repeating it because if I can't love ALL of me then I will never truly be happy. Also sometimes you need to let go of high expectations. I was criticising myself saying I should be doing more, I should be doing this. I had to take a moment and step back, I realised I'm literally doing so many goals already e.g. exercise everyday, study Japanese twice a week, write a blog, have a full time. I need to just focus on my current goals and then when the time is right move onto new goals. Thanks for this video! It really helped but in focus more self love :)

  • @tamannazamanauthy7423
    @tamannazamanauthy7423 6 років тому

    You know i usually make special time and quiet space to watch your video. It brings me so much joy when i see you have uploaded a new one. I feel very peaceful everytime when i see your videos. And this one was an amazing video again Aileen :)

  • @issaree4840
    @issaree4840 6 років тому +9

    Thank you for this helpful content and your effort in editing, It's really beautiful ✨
    P.S.Your voice is sooo soothing 🌸

  • @drsm8719
    @drsm8719 6 років тому

    you highlighted very important point, which is be kind to yourself, and motivate yourself that is very important. In addition, i just want to add, do not be over-thinking and do not think about what has happened or the time you have wasted, and remember everyday is a new opportunity. Just restart and trust GOD and yourself.

  • @niharicaverma
    @niharicaverma 6 років тому +8

    Oh my god! Thank you for this video! It comes at the perfect time!!!

  • @anavii12
    @anavii12 6 років тому

    Before I only dreamed of treating my family to a vacation. We don't have much money so I worked so hard to make it happen. Recently I was able to do that and I'm so grateful that I get to make my familt happy.

  • @seigiaiko9340
    @seigiaiko9340 6 років тому

    This is my worst problem right now and specially today that im completely sick and i want to finish the fashion colection but i literally faint if i go working and i feel super guilty for not finishing it today... hope tomorrow i feel better sorry for the unrelated story, this video is really useful for me today thank you so much aileen

  • @TheBotanicalBlonde
    @TheBotanicalBlonde 6 років тому +1

    I can't watch your videos without a notebook and pen because I need to take notes on everything you talk about! Such amazing advice. Thank you for making these vids