How to Overcome Self Criticism | A Monk's Perspective
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- Опубліковано 10 лип 2024
- How to Overcome Self Criticism | A Monk's Perspective
So many of us nowadays experience suffering because we utilize negative self talk, self criticize, and judge ourselves. In this video, I wanted to share some possible solutions you can use to change this habit. To illustrate this, we meet Joe from the Georgia Meditation Center in Atlanta. We analyze and dissect his situation to get a better understand of how we can shift ourselves. So for those who continue to be harsh on youself, I hope this video is helpful. #monks #buddhism #selfcriticism
Timestamp
0:00 Intro
1:19 Case study
7:02 The issue
7:40 How do we fix this?
7:46 Solution 1 (Change mindset)
9:57 Solution 2 (Meditation)
12:04 My experience
15:30 There are two options
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Thanks for watching.
How is your self talk? Is it optimist or does it consist of blame, criticism and judgement?
love u brover from England, things ain't gd here I'm ill my country let's me down price hykes killing us was made to kill off the poor and ill ❤ onelove
My self talk is very negative. I keep lying to my self and telling my self that by berating my self and being rude to my self that I'm making my self stronger. But no that's not true. I need to work on loving myself fully
Sorry to say this, but most of the time my self talk is blame, criticism and judgement.
I learned to be kind and happy with myself... and for some reasons i am blaming and judging myself now ... and i do the same to nearly everyone around me ... i am so tired of these up and down, not finding consistency
I guess most people tend to be overly critical of themselves. I am one of those people 😏
Every so often, I remind myself that I did and continue to do my best then........... I smile like Joe 👍🏻
"We spend our whole lives talking ourselves into feeling bad. Now, it's time to talk ourselves into feeling good."
Yesssss 😀😀😀
amen
I love how gentle approach you have. 5 minutes of meditation everyday for a year, to build a habit. I love that. I don't know how else to say it but I love how you're not saying: "After 2 weeks, upgrade to 30 minutes, in 2 months you should be able to meditate for one hour." It seems that everything works like that in the society nowadays. Let's slow down and be gentle with ourselves. All the love to you Nick. ❤
Thank you so much my friend and yes habits take time to cultivate so we need to do it slowly and consistently 😀
Yessss! My aim is 10 minutes a day. Sometimes I do a lot more, but it comes from an organic place (and TBH some days it just takes longer for my mind to settle.) The point is, I'm not just trying to be on some productivity treadmill.
I love this thank you
My motto: Be gentle with yourself ! When I slip into an old pattern, I forgive myself and get back to what brings me peace.🙏🏽
Wonderful my friend 😀😀
I just got out of a toxic relationship similar to Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's. After being with someone who convinced me everything was my fault, this video comes at the perfect time. Thank you so much Nick bless your heart Brother
I'm sorry to hear you had that experience Peter. Yes just do your best to see things as they are. Sending you my blessing :)
Hello Peter,
The best way I can give an advice is to keep practicing meditation, and maintaining five Buddha’s rules. It will guide you to meet someone better.
You got this man. Not to self promote too hard, but I relate to you so much and your toxic relationship. I have a video from two months ago on my channel called, "From Homeless Drug Addict to Single Dad." I made the video to hopefully resonate with other people as they heal from toxic relationships. None the less, stay strong and true, forgive and love.
You can do it
I'm happy for you. I know 3 women like this, psychopaths, narcissists. They are really dangerous people. From lying, stealing, cheating, to physical violence, blaming all the time and shouting, arguing, living with hate in their hearts. Good for you, man. Now you know how to stay away from people like this. Life is beautiful now. Look for a person that loves the same things as you. You cand find on Facebook groups, or uf you go to a course, a club, for yoga or martial arts, whatever you do.
I can relate to Joe on many levels: the perfectionism. I noticed that when I put expectations on myself- and something happens seemingly out of left field, any distraction to deviate from my intended goal, is not necessarily a negative thing. I don’t believe in any coincidences… as you say, it’s a learning experience. I’m no longer rigid in my affairs, whether it’s meditation or any other activity. I’m learning it is about changing my perception. I have been more balanced and positive in my life. I cut myself a lot of slack these days. I feel a lot better. An attitude of gratitude is essential for me. Forgiveness is divine- this is a crucial truth for me.
Thank you for sharing🙏💗🧘♀️✨
Beautiful my friend. That’s a wonderful attitude 😀
May The Person Reading This Be Blessed 💕
thank you my friend :)
Through this video, I suddenly have one realization: throughout our life, we have one goal...to learn better of oneself. We experiment oneself
Yes keep improving 😀😀😀
You just made me realize that that’s exactly what I’ve been doing all my life. I thought I was going to achieve some end but in actuality there is no end and our evolving is never ending and just wonderful. Thanks for sharing
I've been doing 15-30 minutes three times a day. Right after I wake up, right after I get home from work, and right before I go to bed. It's been immensely helpful.
Oh wonderful. Keep it up my friend :-)
I've been feeling like a fish out of water, flopping around, struggling the past few months in spite of chanting, meditation daily and longer on weekends.
My sleep was inconsistent, great at times, but two nights a week are not.
I was unable to walk in the park for months due to a tailbone injury and too much work stress before that happened.
Walking in nature is key for me to have a clear mind.
So I've spent time focusing on healing that injury with ice, heat, yoga, sleep, and am now walking up to 3 miles every other day.
Sweating in the heat outside (Texas), walking, stretching, and meditating next to the running stream, and journaling what I'm feeling and my intentions for what I could do better.
Reflection and journaling helped me see clearly what I feel, don't feel, and how I want to feel. This helped me greatly.
You've really helped me, Ven Nick.
Now my confidence is improving.
So that I can trust in the process to do what’s needed to heal.
wow susan. sounds like you've been doing alot of great work. just take a moment to breathe and know that you are doing excellent. just keep going and keeping adjusting as needed.
I'm so happy to see you again. I didn't realize that you would still be posting videos while you were in the US. Every single video you make is so valuable. Meditate, Meditate, Meditate!! 😊
Sadhu sadhu thank you so much Heidi and yes keep meditating 😀😀
My wife and I raised our children in Atlanta, GA. When we were done we moved back home to the South Carolina Lowcountry.,Cheers. Enjoy your videos.
Thank you so much my friend 😀
This guy is a superstar. Best counsellor out there. Period.
Aww thank you so much for your kind words my friend. Happy new year to you and your family 😊😊
Started meditation 10 minutes a day in the mornings, four months ago never going back! Best practice I started in a long time. It helps me to connect with mother earth during walks very special :) Please try it will change your life, more is needed in this world.
Wonderful my friend! I'm so glad to hear. keep it up!
That way of seeing my life as a playground and myself as a kid really shook me for a minute because I take my life too seriously and I have an all or nothing mindset.
Allowing myself to play and even if I fall, then being gentle with myself like I would be to a kid is something I need to work on. I would try to find ways for her yo not get hurt, but I will never speak to her in the way I do to myself.
yes! make this small shift. Be very playful and forgiving of yourself and it will shift everything :)
Hi Nick, just wanted to say meditation is so essential, it makes me feel calm and focus! Thanks again for sharing!
wonderful vone. thank you so much!
The issue is we are often inpatient , we want to see results of our new patterns as fast ,as its possible, otherwise we started thinking that we are useless etc. Often we feel bad about our lifes, so we decided to develop new habbits, and again we want fast results. But waiting 1 year just for develop 5 minutes meditation per day habbit , we dont want to wait such long. Its the issue. Anyway thx for sharing that important information , that i was looking for. Habbits must be creating such long , as long as it needed , so we need to choose our habbits properly. Like buddhism say , see things like they are , its hard but true.
Self blame is what I had done to me almost more than 2/3 of my life on earth! My father and sister they always attacking me for anything goes wrong, or their bad choices, plus my own wrong decisions I have made for me, always seeing me all I do is wrong! Interesting that my family they are not even close distance wise, yet on the phone , talking behind me w others, always I am the ONE who is to blame! I started changing this bad pattern and looking at my innocent child in me, and start thinking of being kind to me, thank you for helping us in learning this important🙏🙏🙏🙌🏻🙏♾
Congratulations. I’m glad you have been able to undo this pattern. Keep it up my friend :-)
I am happy every time I listen to Nick. Thank you.
Sadhu sadhu thank you so much 😊
Wonderful way to live neutral, thanks a lot Nick. You are the best guide for me and I honour to have you through the technology. I am around and learning 🙏🏼
Much appreciated! sadhu sadhu! thank you so much :)
I love to meditate in the open nature. Thank you for sharing, Nick.
Wonderful my friend 😊
Started meditation again after a long time. Still feeling it’s positive effects. I listen to you all day and try to incorporate your teachings into my life. Including making my bed😂. Thank you so much Ven. Nick🙏
I tried to do meditation of 5mins before I sleep after I viewed your previous videos. It helps to clear my mind and feel better after a tiring day and got a good sleep.
Wonderful my friend. Keep it up 😀
My dearest nick thankyou for all your kindness and helping me become a better person. I have been listening to ajahn brahm and thich Nhat Hahn for years your new to me thankyou for your simple instructions on how to build good habits.
You are so welcome! Thank you Joyce. Welcome to the channel 😊😊
I discovered middle of the night meditation also when first starting to meditate.
I got up at 3am and realized what a great opportunity for stillness.
It definitely helps me.
I also use outdoor exercise as a time for meditation.
Walking or running...and sitting after exercise.
Chanting has also been a way to quiet the mind before meditation.
Stillness is the key, as you say, Ven Nick.
That is so great! Keep it up Susan 😊
I’m on a weight loss journey and diabetic and judging myself. This video really helps me! Thank you! So dealing with what diabetes does to the body and trying to change your whole life way of eating healthy etc is very hard for me to do and been really struggling with depression anxiety and trying to get more self esteem and confidence etc !
Yes my friend. Just be very calm and gentle with yourself. Adjust where needed as having diabetes is a tricky situation.
We hear these things all the time about taking time to meditate but the way you explain things it makes me think in a different way and it just clicks. It seems so simple but yes sometimes life gets in the way. I love always coming back to your videos and I feel I then have a clean slate. Your videos keep me centered and the way you explain things helps me. Thank you for posting. 🙏🏻
For me I think that it's actually gone beyond consciously self criticising 😔. I feel that years of never feeling good enough..never feeling I really deserve what others have ..always feeling inadequate and trying so much harder to constantly try to compensate for that perceived inadequacy - is somehow so engraved within me that it has become part of my very being. I am starting with meditation...been doing it for a few weeks now.. know it will take time..
Keep following your videos and wisdom and trying to keep focused and work on myself every day.
Thank you for your support I moved from the UK to Spain searching for my peace to realise that I actually have to find it within. We're remote here.. no Buhddist communities..so I only have the Internet for guidance and encouragement, which is why I'm so grateful. Kind wishes
Thank you. nick.Good Morning.So happy you’re back in the US.I need to run up to Atlanta.We appreciate you Nick.
Wonderful. Thank you so much 😊
So thankful I found your videos.🦋
I agree teaching oneself is best and hardest thing
Thank you, kind sir! I always enjoy your teachings.
Much peace and blessings to you 🙏
Thank you! I find great ocnfort in your, so practicable, teachings
I lived much of my life on a repeat of negative thoughts and bashing myself for even the tiniest of mistakes. In the last couple of months, I have started to learn about Daoism and have been learning/teaching myself to let things go. To let go of those thoughts that don't serve me. And I am doing better than I have done in years! I am learning to forgive myself and to not let the words of other affect me. It's not easy, but I keep trying. I will take these words and use them to help myself in this journey. Thank you! ❤️
Thank you so much for your advices. These past 2 years since COVID and my business not going well, I have changed from being a positive person to always think negative things about myself. I have starting meditating this year and is helping me a lot. Also watching your videos. I found them very comforting and they give me tools that I can use. It is a slow process but step by step gets better. Thank you so much again for sharing your wisdom. Best wishes to everybody from Spain. You’re not alone xx
Good morning and good night Nick. Thank you for today video.
I totally agree venerable Nick, sometimes our sight gets blur with delusion and unrealistic conditions.
Then we loose balance and for a while feel shaked.
But then again not for long, what is important is to get the teaching, let go, and do the very best with what we have in our hands.
This happens to me frequently, and I fall and I rest and then rise again.
Well, when life gives me lemons then i make a lemonade, which is very healthy too🤗🍋🍋🍋🌈
Wish you days full of merits🌞
Such a powerful message to incorporate in my life. Thank you Ven. Nick for sharing your wisdom.
Thank you, so timely. I really needed to hear this tonight. Even just seeing the colour of your robe felt uplifting. Namaste. 🕉️🌻🙂
Always relevant, love your videos!
Edit: also, I love that mantra - "nothing can get in my way" backed up by daily practice you are truly unstoppable. Like water that is the softest substance, yet carves through stone.
Thank you Nick. You have been a blessing to me on my Buddhism journey.
Sadhu sadhu 😊😊 thank you so much yolonda
The most amazing miracle is that this video appeared more than ever on time. Maybe it's because it's a very topical issue, but it's still very surprising to me.
Our mind, like a stupid monkey, runs after thoughts, not noticing the whole picture. Because of this, it is difficult not to run after images in our mind, when you have gone astray. Our ego begins to feed on negativity and uses our self-esteem as a battlefield in which it destroys our soul.
It's never too late to get back on the way. Everyone has mistakes and everyone has the right to be happy.
Thank you very much, Venerable Nick.
James Clear’s book Atomic Habits talks about the importance of beginning a habit without it being perfect, just like your “just 5 minutes of meditation a day.” Today I will start my 3 minutes of meditation a day 😊 -of course will go longer if my day permits. Thank you for all the wisdom Nick 🙏🏼
Wonderful my friend. That’s great. Please keep us updated on your progress 😀
This is so helpful because it is an overall wisdom - not only for meditation. Five minutes to practice a new habit. Thank you.
Thanks for your video. I've been meditating for about 2 years now. In the beginning it was a little hard to get into a routine and I'd have days where I'd let things get into the way and skip my meditation. I tried meditating in the evening but sometimes I would be too tired and wouldn't bother. The thing that kept me from giving up on my meditation practice is that I noticed I did feel happier and lighter when I did meditate. For the past year I've been meditating at 6 am for 30 minutes. This way it is done and at night I will do another session if time permits. Meditation has helped me become aware of me...I recognize the seeds of anger, joy,happiness etc inside me and what triggers them. Meditation has helped me quiet the negative voice in my head that's plagued me for years. Thank you for being a great mentor 😊❤
Welcome back to United States.i really appreciate all of your videos. Very practical and easy to understand.
Glad you like them! thank you my friend :)
Thank you Nick...
As always, "on point" with my situations lol.
🙏🙏💛🙏🙏
You’re welcome ☺️
Your videos have been helping me through such a hard time. I am truly grateful for all that you share. Thank you so much.
I’m glad it’s helpful emely! Keep going my friend 😊😊 you got this!
You're right on time with your message today! I was beating myself up for not chanting today. Thank you for giving me other options!♡
You are so welcome :) thank you
Greeting from kuala Lumpur Malaysia. Nick's dharma strike a resonant cord in my heart
The thing that comes to mind on self criticism is learning to accept yourself and most importantly learn how to love yourself....
Good to see your well and safe Ven. Nick 🙏🏻☮️😊
thank you so much bridget :)
Thank you so much for this! I find it easier to be kind, compassionate and supportive with others. Hearing this helped. Will keep trying to get better at it, it’s very important. Thanks again, much appreciated 🙏🏻
Wonderful my friend. Keep it up 😀
I'm from Sri Lanka and I found your You tube channel lately.....I wonder your teachings help me a lot.....I'm a Buddhist too.......Please carry on the good work consistently.....and please help me to think about me optimistly.......
15:54 oh man that is too funny how you expressed that, I am crying laughing! "it's just not helpful." So simple and hilarious. Thank you Nick! Hope to meet you and shake your hand sir. Your videos helped transform my life. Cheers and peace!
Hi Nick, so glad to see you again! Love all your videos!
thank you so much and i'm glad to be back :)
Thank you so much for your guidance , this video made me feel better about myself , how i need to remember to not put myself down.
wonderful. i'm glad it was helpful :)
Thank you, Nick. You are an inspiration !
Thank you so much 😊
Thank you Nick! Am so glad that you emphasize that Buddhism is a practice. It was explained to me that in the beginning, a lot of problems and chaos can arise as we begin our "neutral observation' of our minds and our lives while meditating or chanting. Like shaking up the sand in a gold pan to find the nuggets.
Yes it takes time and practice so we need to practice diligently 😀
Thank you for being and for teaching us what you have learned. I'm very grateful for that.
Thank you so much 😊
Thank you Nick for sharing this, it came just at the right time for me ❤️
You're so welcome!
I am so appreciative of your videos. Thank you for sharing your journey and being a teacher to so many. You've really helped me to understand more about myself, how to be kinder to myself and live in a more peaceful state of being. I'm doing the work... finally :)
awww wonderful! i'm so glad to hear and congratulations. keep up the great work marie :)
Sending you love and blessings. Thank you so much. You are so precious ❤
Sadhu sadhu thank you so much paula 😀
THANK YOU for reminding us to be gentle with ourselves.😌❤️🌸
My pleasure maralyn. Thank you so much 😊
Thank you so much for your video!
You’re welcome ☺️
I'm so blessed to be able to learn more and more from you Nick. Thank You
Sadhu sadhu thank you so much 😊
Thank you once again for sharing this wisdom, you make so much sense and point us all in the right direction, much love and light to you 🙏🏻❤️
You’re welcome Ann 😀😀
In my opinion a nice thing about meditating in the morning is, if you miss it in the morning you can catch up anytime of the day. If you meditate in the evening you don't have the possibility to shift if something hinders you.
Yes I definitely agree :-)
This is especially important when stopping substance abuse. When you slip up, you feel like a failure and you really beat yourself up.
Yes definitely. It’s such a slippery slope.
Divine timing! I needed this message. Thank you, Ven Nick!
I’m glad to hear chevaughn! Thank you so much 😊
Thank You,.....
Sadhu
I read some of your books and did the 24 hrs living as a monk challenge . I see the meditation 🧘♂️ benefits on myself and want my family to do it. However, the struggles that I see with my teenagers is that are not willing to even do one minute quiet time to start. Even they could see the excitement and my small changes on myself. How someone who tried and it is convinced that there is nothing to slow down their thoughts could pass that and do it. Looking forward for your classes at Asuza in California.
What a wonderful inspiration this man/monk is. I love you Venerable Nick!
Sadhu sadhu thank you so much for your kind words Gary 😀😀
Thanks for your teaching 🙏🌸🇨🇦
You’re welcome ☺️
Thank you ven. Nick for continuing to share your journey it's a joy to hear from you😀
it's my pleasure. thank you so much Regina! hope you are well
Thank you so much for sharing this teaching!! Self criticism is something I struggle greatly with, and I really appreciate your thoughts on this!
Thank you so much Leah. I’m glad it’s helpful 😀😀
Thank you Nick for your wisdom & help. Wishing you peace & love! Sadhu 😌
thank you so much noah!
So grateful I have discovered your channel. You have impacted my life immensely. Thank you.
aww thank you so much kim. I'm glad it has been helpful :) Welcome to the channel!
So lovely your heart, so wise your information, so gently offered. 🥰🌺
Thank you so much Katherine 😊
Thank you Ven. Nick! This was very helpful 🙏
It's my pleasure. Thank you so much!
Hola Nick! Greetings from Greece! So happy to watch a new video about self criticism. Well I try to keep a positive attitude and take things easy. I use to deal with self criticism in a negative way when things went down and blaming myself in the past but not anymore. Now when I catch myself of doing it or feeling to return to a pattern I break down the reason and forgive myself and the situation and the person. This practice has helped me a lot. Also the last months I do mirror work which I shower myself telling I am lovable, worthy, enough and so much more 🌈🌈 sending you my love and blessings to you and the brothers Monks!!! Sadhu ❤️❤️❤️🌈🌈
Wonderful my friend. I’m glad you’ve been able to break your old habits. That’s great. Keep it up 😀
Grateful to have access to your teachings.
Thank you so much for your teachings, especially this one. I tend to put myself down and I will use your teachings to help myself 💖
Wonderful. Yes please free to utilize the teaching. You got this my friend 😀😀
It's very generous of you, that you share all your advices to us. 🌿Thank you a lot.🙏 Today's topic was since a long time ago my question.
Thank you so much. I’m glad it’s helpful 😀😀
Amazing Advice! Thank You so Much!
You are so welcome!
You are such a great teacher. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. 🙏💓
Thank you so much 😊
Hi Nick, meditation is so important. This relates to all faiths.
Yes definitely. It benefits all of us :)
Thank You 🧘🏼🌸🦋🌺💞
You’re welcome ☺️
Good morning, Venerable Nick😊 Got it🙏
Amazing words to keep as always, Thanks Nick 🙂
sadhu sadhu. thank you so much pamela :)
👌❤😊thank you Nick! Hope that ypu are well xxx
Thank you so much oliver 😀😀😀
I am a woman and I’m 18 and honestly speaking I really want to be a monk but I know I can’t with the situation and condition my life is in but thanks to nick I feel peaceful and I reflect myself everyday. I’m not a Buddhist but this is the only religion which gave me hope in life. Sadhu sadhu 🙏🏻
My self talk is/was terrible, I would not talk to Anyone in the way I speak to myself. Over the years I am getting better, when a thought of self blame/criticism manifests, I repeat to myself I am love, I am compassion. It has helped me. I don't have to believe every thought that comes to mind, I see a thought and I say to myself I am not going there. I am love.
Thank you. Great message!
You’re welcome ☺️
Talk fewer than pay more attention to my action,speed and thought
Sadhu🙏🏻Sadhu🙏🏻Sadhu🙏🏻
Yessss 😀😀😀
Oh my gosh Nick🙀 I was thinking about you this morning, wanted to send a big ‘Hello’ and well wishes🤗
Wonderful Lisa! perfect timing. Hello you you from Atlanta Georgia. Hope you are doing well :)
Thank you for your video. It is a constant battle in my mind… Why I do always feel like I am never good enough? There are so many things I want to improve on… it never ends.
My pleasure! sadhu sadhu. thank you so much!
Sadhu sadhu sadhu! Thank you so much for this video bhante!
I’ve been at my new job for a month now, and it’s been one big learning curve. I’m a perfectionist but I really appreciate this reminder to look at things neutrally. Progress is still progress.
Congratulations on your New job Charlie. And yes be very gentle during this learning curve :-)
Venerable Nick - Thanks for your encouragement and words of wisdom
Chris Noel
It’s my pleasure. Thank you so much Chris :-)
Namaste❤️ Venerable Nick ❤️ thankyou ❤️ I now feel I am going about things the right way❤️ thankyou so much ❤️ keep up the good work ❤️ thankyou again ❤️ namaste ❤️
sadhu sadhu! thank you so much :)
Thank you, Venerable Nick. I find your simple guidance helpful.
Thank you so much 😊
@@nickkeomahavong01 We're welcome. And thank you, again.