Hey buddy I'm so sorry you going through this please tell me where you reside and I will google top rated therapists for you remember you deserve to be here I'm here for you Michelene is hear for you we will help you and go to great extents to help you you are a great person never forget that
@@xrmteey 😞 please don't do it I will help you. Please tell me where you reside and I will google top rated therapists In your area remember me and michelene are hear for you never lose hope
I agree so much with that quote you mentioned at the start. People who say "suicide is selfish" say so because the friends and family of the deceased will grieve that person's death, but the pain that led that person to suicide was incomparably worse; it was absolutely unbearable! I find it utterly selfish to focus on one's own grief about the death of a loved one rather than considering how much that person had been suffering.
Every f'ing day. Each day is worse than the one before. I can't even appreciate the amazing things I have. I sleep most of the time because dreams are sometimes better than reality. Sleep is my escape.
Getting help for suicidal ideation is difficult because it seems like there's either a rush to hospitalize you, or people think you're just trying to get attention. There seems to be no middle ground where you can discuss it and work through it, and I know for me what started off as passive has been building up for years and I'm scared that one day the pain will just be too unbearable. It seems like the average person and even doctors think that suicide just happens over night. This is not my field, but I would imagine for most it started as passive ideation and became active.
I imagine it varies depending on the cause. It is also important to note that the longer it's gone on, the more difficult it will be to treat and the longer it will take to move past.
If a therapist belittles these thoughts, they are not a good therapist. People who think you're just "trying to get attention" don't know shit. And even if it's true that you are trying to get attention, THEY SHOULD BE WONDERING WHY and not just dismiss it. I think it is better if they rush to hospitalize though. This way everyone can see how serious it is and people will stop dismissing you. I was hospitalized for attempt, and there I met lots of people who had never tried to kill themselves but were thinking about it and spoke on time. Many families never took them seriously until a therapist told them their loved one was in danger. PEOPLE PLEASE SPEAK UP ABOUT THESE THOUGHTS
I relate to this SO much. This is my exact same experience. I just want someone to be patient with me and give me time. I want to be heard. But not a single soul is willing to listen.
Talking to someone ends up being put in a hospital (like jail), they keep you in the till they feel you are OK (you pretend to be ok). Then once you get out you have more problems because you were unable to work so your bills a mounting up, ppl judge you. It drives you down more. I have been there.
💯👆👆this!!!! And they lie to you saying it’s a safe place to feel your feelings, but it’s not, whether you’re feeling really sad and crying or you’re agitated and angry, they don’t want to hear it, and automatically medicate you so they don’t have to deal with you. It is beyond frustrating and maddening. I have no friends , no family to talk to, and there are ALWAYS consequences when I tell my therapist, so I just keep it all to myself and I can’t take it anymore. If no one else can even be bothered to make to effort to listen or be there, what’s the fking point in anything anymore??!! 😔😔
100% true and why in thr scenario I WAS thinking about it, I wouldn't tell anyone. Sometimes it's time to go and the world around us isn't going to change. It doesn't get easier. You can either tolerate life or you can suffer. And there is 0 shame is calling it quits.
I agree & I dislike the fact people can be born....without even asking us "Do you want to be born" God should have asked us, shown a glimpse of what our lives would be like, God made a mistake there. If you are a waitress you wouldn't walk up to a customer & give them a coffee, No, you'd ask, "Would you like tea or coffee" it would save us, the unfortunate ones who live their days feeling low & lower than low.
I lost my 13-year-old daughter to suicide seven months ago. I wish I had understood more about it sooner. Please keep doing good work like this to have the difficult conversations and spread the message.
Sorry for your loss, I can't imagine losing my daughter by suicide. I lost my brother by suicide & searching how to deal with it. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my brother. I know you are having the same thoughts about your daughter. It's very sad that some people lose all will to live and think this is the only way, they have no idea how the ones left behind suffer every day the rest of their lives.
Man, that sounds horrible. I’m so sorry this was the response from the ones you’re supposed to be able to trust. No one should ever have to go through that. I’m with you in your struggles. How have you been since you posted this?
Yeah really. Keep thoughts and feelings about suicide private since there are those who want to hospitalize you and now treat you differently. If it's your choice to show bravery and courage to stare death in the face and end your life due to unmitigated suffering then so be it.
It's tough finding out that your supposed friends were no real friends all along ... Painful, but an important step in the right direction nevertheless. I hope, you find a new circle of people who truly care about you!
Hospitalization as a last resort doesn't also mean it will be a good or helpful thing, since involuntary stays still cost $ here and does not gurantee quality, unbiased, compassionate care. My last stay for active suicidality was enough to convince me if I am ever actively suicidal again, to never seek help and to be sure my next attempt is 100% lethal.
This is true! I meant this as sometimes it has to happen as least to save a life but doesn’t mean it’s a good experience. I have heard of some liking it and having it be a positive experience but others find it horrible. I think it also depends on the hospital and the resources of where you live
plush, I agree with you. These therapists are just blatantly absurd and/or evil. They don't really understand how hospitalization works. I was hospitalized due to existential related depression. In the so called "hospital", which is strongly analogous to prison, their solution wasn't them writing down the problem and contemplating accurate, real world solutions to solve it. It wasn't them listening either. It was forcing a bit of drugs, being bored all day with nothing constructive to do, and having to participate in silly group "discussions". And when I was released I was WORSE than when I went in. They gave me papers concerning "mental help group cessions" outside of that prison, but I certainly never went, never even REALIZED that I was enrolled in it until weeks later when I happened to read those silly papers. Know that they dont' care, plush. This michele meatlouf lady doesn't care either. They PUNISH the mentally anguished, not help. They just want money!
I've been considering suicide for a long time, but I'm afraid to tell anyone because I do not want to be hospitalized! But, I assure you, I do feel close to carrying out my suicidal feelings. And when I do, nothing in the entire world will change, except that I won't have to deal with this entire world anymore.
I get that feeling. That thsi won’t be an attempt because it’ll work bc it’s soo easy to just die if you wanted to. And bc it gives you a sense if relief a way of escape you might not want to tell anyone the truth bc when they ask you if you plan on carrying it out then what’s the point of saying only half the truth? Like if you get the courage to tell someone you’re suicidal you want to say the truth but the truth will get you hospitalized in some cases
I can tell by your name that your young. Everyone gets depressed. I'm 63. You might not realize it now but there are so many things to do and people to meet yet in your life. Suicide should be the last thing on your mind. Do you really want to be remembered for going out that way? My whole life the thing that always worked for me was getting a 2nd job. Right now there are millions of jobs out there. Not only was it a great way to meet people but the extra money was unreal. I was able to retire at 55. Most of the time I was so tired I didn't have time for negative thoughts. Do me a favor. Try it for 6 months. One thing that I noticed when I was dating that a soon as women find out that there's a guy out there working 2 jobs to get ahead and make something of himself they will be knocking on your door. I've been there. That's how I met my wife. I remember a few of the girls I was dating at the time would get mad at me because I didn't have time for them. I told them I was working to get way ahead and I will call you. They would call me all the time. They could not understand why they didn't come first. I came first.
@@peternorthrup6274 depression is a huge factor but I think that's not always what it is for some people it's a control thing, I don't mind living even when I'm sad or angry what I mind is people pushing and crossing my boundaries I mind not being able to do what I want day to day sometimes I don't wanna do anything but just watch movies and everyone and their mother has something to say about it. I'm a romantic I always find beauty in the world but people get in my way and I want out sometimes.
@@peternorthrup6274 Well if a woman is knocking on your door because you work 2 jobs and have extra money do they really love you or are they using you? You can keep all those women LOL. No thanks. Sorry some of what you say is silly.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
this is gonna sound cheesy, but its because you have stopped to find a light switch. ive been going through some shit and unfortunately i still havent found mine either so sadly i aint much help.
I'm 17 and I once expressed passive ideation to the in-school therapist because I was dealing with so much shit and felt so alone that I felt that people would genuinely be better off without me around. I even went so far as to assess how hard my family and friends would grieve in the event of me carrying this out. The therapist referred me to my guidance counselor who then went to the emergency room and my mom for a risk assessment. Easily one of the worst days of my life. It destroyed my mom, they went through every measure possible even when I told everybody it was just passing thoughts in a moment of pain. The IOP program I was referred to was going to be impossible to work around my schedule and drain all of my college savings so I decided not to go through with it. It relieved my parents greatly probably more that I wasn't going to drain them financially and put them through schedule hell. My parents definitely gave off suicide is selfish vibes during the whole ordeal and strongly emphasized that it was a meltdown gone too far. That was true but I still can't help but feel disgusted by the fact that they felt that way about this situation.
Thank you Sadly sometimes money will help a person not commit suicide. Not having a job to make ends meet can be humiliating and make you feel hopeless
The lack of money is often the reason I'm unemployed and have no way of paying next month's rent and I've been here three years I am guessing that I will end up in a crisis center and hopefully not harm myself. This is as real as it gets.
I told my best friend about my plan to kill myself and said something similar to the suggested "script" in the video. She got so mad at me and said a lot of things that it made me feel attacked instead of supported. She even told me I don't know how it feels to lose someone (she lost her mom to cancer when she was in college), which made me think she cares more about how she feels than what is happening to me. I felt worse after telling my situation to her.
Exactly. It's OUR lives, not THEIRS. It's NONE of their business what we do to ourselves. Humans have the right to tattoo and pierce their own bodies, consent to sex with their own bodies, consume whatever with their own bodies, etc. If any of that offends the people around us, too bad. And if I'm done living in this body and want out? That's MY right. It's OUR right. If that upsets those around us, so be it. Still doesn't mean they get a say.
I am the epitome of someone who should never have been born and people have explicitly told me I don’t belong and to go away, to say the least. I think it’s commendable I’m still here. I have nothing and no one today. I’ve endured far too much hostility. This is a cruel world. I wish I was never born. I sincerely hope that considering how bad my life was and is, that I do indeed die by age 29. Because if things were going to get better they surely would have by. Nobody should have to endure that which I have endured and am enduring. I am a resilient person but this is no life quality. I have stayed alive too long only because I am incapable of action. If I had a choice or wish I’d definitely ask for an immediate death. Anyway, I hope all people enduring depression may be healed quickly and permanently. Thank you
I used to be in a major depression and wanted to die every single day. Since then I’ve become a much better person! I started getting out of depression in September 2022. I started with trying to get out of depression. I then started with becoming a better person, that took a while. I then started to take a shower every day and wash my body. Now I’ve started to wash my hair and I’m working on brushing my teeth twice a day. Good luck people
I have seizures at times in my sleep. Sometimes I can’t breathe and I could die in my sleep. But my mom or someone saves me and I wake up in the hospital or on the ground…. I wish sometimes no one would notice me having an episode and I could just die. 😞
I was suicidal almost 30 years ago after my wife left with my daughter. If I had gone though I would not have my daughter now 29 yrs old & she would not know her father. It was a pain full divorce for me, I had a bad depression at that time. And it still comes and goes. It's back again after my brother's suicide, so I hope you have not acted on it, but the ones you leave behind you will affect them more than you can imagine. Getting help with your depression is fixable. Suicide is not the answer. Seeing your comment here is good since you are looking for help. A therapist can help you with those thoughts. Depression is painful it's not easy to live with, it takes hard work and you can beat it. My brother was different he was in the hospital twice but would not follow up with the help needed, he refused the help, so don't refuse help there is so much available.
@@KenWaltthank you for this message. I’ve been around suicide videos lately and feeling hopeless is prevalent here. I lost my boyfriend to suicide and thought maybe there’s no really hope in this world. That nothing can ever help. But your comment is some kind of light.
I am afraid that if I talk about suicide to a friend, I'll bring them down and they will also feel bad like I do. I am afraid that they won't want to associate with me anymore and that I'll be even more alone than I already am. I am afraid that I will be committed to a mental hospital and I won't be able to work or earn money causing me to be evicted and homeless. I am afraid of being homeless. I am afraid of being forgotten like my life never mattered. I prefer to watch youtube videos on suicide rather than get help because I don't think anyone can really help me. I was destined to be like this.
I relate so much to not wanting to tell friends. I don't want them to feel like its their fault or if they couldve done more (even if they could've). I really dont want my thoughts to affect them and start making them feel worse then they are. And yet I still want to talk to them about my mental health, i just wont let myself so they're not affected
Hey, I don’t know if you’ll read this but my friend has reached out to me about suicidal thoughts before, and it’s honestly not a bother. If anything I’m more glad that they trust me enough to bring it up. I don’t know your friends, but talking to them could help.
Same. I know I'm never going to go through with it, but it's sickly relaxing to think about it. I find another type of relief and calm and happiness (??) in it. I think about what the people who make me go through this and other people who did not know would feel like after I die, even if it might not be their job to do so. But what when I give/gave them hints and they didn't notice? So I just feel like they would be so guilty after I die in my fantasy. And that makes me happy. It's sick. When the episode ends, I immediately feel guilty and shameful.
I felt like dying multiple times during my life but I’ve never gotten to the point where I’m depressed like I am right now. I’m so sick of dealing with such tough things in this world that the only way to get away from them and to not have to deal with them is to die
I use to be suicidal. I was drunk one night and stood in front of the mirror and studied my face. I came to the conclusion that I am not an accident and thus started my search for the Lord. Free for 30 years. Don't give up. God truly loves you. This world is enough to discourage anyone. Our sin made the world what it is. Jesus is the cure. Isaiah 53:5
I agree I hate my life and the cards I was dealt it’s almost as if someone or something set me up I am alone in this world and nobody would miss me after I am gone not one bit.
@@Chillforev-dd9wrthat’s not true, many people would miss you. I feel like this too sometimes, that I always get the short end of the stick and nothing works out in my favor. But this is not a true thing to think, I always have to say to myself that this is not true. It’s just a temporary condition and things will get better.
The fear of guilt and shame if I mention my thoughts to a person is very strong. There is an extremely strong fear of judgment if it's mentioned in the workplace and the work force is a strong trigger of these thoughts.
I mentioned it to my boss because I was going to quit my job and my boss offered a mental health service to contact, but I am loaded with anxiety now regarding how he sees me at work.
I have been a HR professional for 30 years. Please know management and HR have seen everything before. As part of our job, we interact all the time with employees who are depressed, suicidal, a victim of abuse, addicts, terminally ill, even arrest, affairs, etc., so please know you are not walking around with a spotlight on you. My experience is that management is very understanding and supportive of suicidal employees. They want to help, and are the less likely people to judge. How are you doing?
I talked about it with my boss and he was very supportive! Im still with this company and I eventually will be for the rest of my life! There are some really really smart people and its inspiring! I even started programming because they made it seem so easy and I never thought I could do it! Even on days I just want to stay In bed... ok every day is shit but as soon as I work with them or I am done with the gym I feel a little bit better! (some days even much better ^^)
You don't want to die, what you want is an end to your pain." I don't believe that is true for all. Some are just tired of life's continuing struggles and pain , and want to be done with it once and for all. At least i do, and struggle with that thought process
Yes, you are _right,_ some want to die to save themselves from those who look to hurt them... Better kill yourself, than give yourself away to the enemy...
Yes, you are right, some want to die to save themselves from those who wish to hurt them... Better to die from your own hand, than give yourself away to the enemy...
Yeah, life just ain't for me. Call me lazy if you want but I don't want put in the work, making friends or connections, working, talking to people, waking up every day...... I much prefer when I'm not conscious. The only thing holding me back is my family (and that laziness lol, it's much easier to do nothing)
@@TheLethargicWeirdo985if your family holds you back from suicide then maybe you care about them, maybe doing things to help them can help you overcome your laziness.
The thing is I want a permanent solution. I'm tired of the highs and lows of my life especially when the low just seem to get lower. When I look at myself I see nothing worth saving, and nothing worth living for. But I am too pathetic and scared to take the plunge. I don't matter. No one really cares
Lisa, I couldn't have said it better myself. Exactly. Not just the lows, but the highs are just as tragic. We need more understanding like yours. Please don't leave us.
I am 48 years old, I failed at every honest uplifting endeavor in my life, my family hates me, my longest intimate relationship was only 10 months long, my career in software development is going nowhere, I have no friends, I have made repeated calls to the suicide hotline. I have been struggling with this my entire life and always hoped I would grow out of it. The stresses of life have just made it worse.
I completely hear you, I am with you in your pain. I’m so glad you decided to share your story and your feelings, and I’m sorry that you’ve been going through what you have. No one deserves to experience or feel those things, ever. Will you tell me how you’re doing now?
@@hdjksa52 I won’t say anything like things will get better blah blah blah but I will say you helped me becuse you shared your pain and it makes me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you
just out of personal experience. you dont want to die, you want to end all the pain. one fix that has pushed me through tough times (its not a healthy one) is lying to yourself. constantly like to yourself about your mental health as you are activly trying to fix it, even if it doesnt fix the problem is weakened it for me.
Exactly same! I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this. I haven't seen a lot of people feel this too. Because I don't actually want to die, I just don't want to live like this, and I don't want to be awake to face this all the time. And I am too afraid to kill myself. So I just... Want to sleep. Sleep is the best option. Sleep is so safe and secure. Sleep is truly everything. I just want unconsciousness and sleep provides it.
It is so hard to tell it because they often don't take it seriously, some even accuse me that I am just seeking attention and wants pity. It is very provoking and encouraging to carry it out.
@@theway3660 Hiding your emotions is not strength or "stoicism", it's just another form of self-harm. Stop celebrating things that FURTHER HARMS PEOPLE'S MENTAL HEALTH!
I've looked at people who have committed suicide with envy in that they had the strength to carry out through. I sometimes wonder that when you are absolutely sure you are going to do it should you just do it before a change of mind or should you take time to enjoy the fact that it'll soon be over
I have passive and active suicidal thoughts. I am frequently, activily suicidal (going through that currently). I work with a therapist ( I have been seeing her for over 2 years). There is one other type of suicidality - if you would use that term for it). And that is what I call suicidal feeling. That is absolutely the most dangerous for me. I am in a heightened state of anxiety, I have to get away from harming myself. This is like crisis times ten. When I am like this - can't drive. Being anywhere is dangerous ( I might run out in traffic). The last time I felt this way was about 6 months ago. I called my therapist, she agreed to see me. One of the things I noticed was when I walked into the clinic and sat down: I felt safe, I knew they wouldn't let me hurt myself there. (I know alot of the staff). After I met with my therapist, she told me anytime I felt that way, just tell them that you need to see one of the behavoral health professionals and you're just going to sit until one becomes availiable. I thought that was a good plan. I just wanted to mention this other sense of suicidality I have: Suicidal Feeling. Action is immediately required.
In the second paragraph if I understood that correctly. You do not have to actively try to commit suicide in order for a suicide attempt? Do you just have intrusive thoughts for it to be an attempt? Back in spring 2022, my anxiety was so bad I held myself to my bed because I was literally afraid the my brain was going to physically take me & make me jump off my balcony. I didn’t feel suicidal & I didn’t want to die. I was so afraid that my brain was going to do something to me or someone. I was completely dissociated for 3 weeks. I drove (literally don’t know how I didn’t unalive myself doing this) I drove 3 hours back to school. I still had severe intrusive thoughts I was so scared that my BRAIN was going to drive me off the freeway. Is this a suicide attempt or just severe intrusive thoughts? By the way, I didn’t want to hurt myself or others. It felt like something had taken over my body & I couldn’t control it. Even though I didn’t want to die maybe I was suicidal & didn’t realize it because I had never felt like that before. The scariest part was the dissociation because it took me a solid 3 weeks to fully come back. (BTW my therapist is aware of this whole thing & as I type this I do not feel suicidal)
To anyone at a point like this in their life. Just know that others are out there who understand what it’s like. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s understandable why you feel like you do, sometimes just knowing others understand that you’re struggling helps. Life isn’t always smooth sailing. We are all in this together. Much love.
I've dealt with passive thoughts for over 30 years without leaning on anyone. No safety plan, no therapy - I don't know when or how but it became "normal" and just sits in the background. I don't have crisis days or anything like that. It's not particularly a threat to me, it's just something I think about daily. 🤷♂
I wish I could hug each one of you going through such thoughts. I have been dealing with these from many years and I know how exactly it feels... we can't describe in words... I feel someone would hug me once and ask about it. That doesn't happen...
Being constantly reminded by life that you deserve to suffer becomes more and more of a burden. Sometimes you want to end it but the thought of what might await me in the next chapter of existence is the only thing that keeps me alive. For now.
Living in the USA as a person with mental issues, in my case, Chronic Major Depression, has got to be like living in the Dark Ages. I’ve been hospitalized twice and both times were a travesty of epic proportions. I could’ve taught the ‘classes’, they were so simplistic…and how I ended up there, in both cases, was criminal. We ARE treated like criminals from the first moment to when we finally leave the Mental Hospital. I learned, VERY QUICKLY, how to play the game so I could GET OUT of there ASAP…but it shouldn’t be that way. They pile indignity upon indignity on you from the beginning. My examples: I was surrounded by armed security guards the 2nd time after I went in to the clinic to ask for new medicine since my old anti-depressant wasn’t working. When I realized they were going to 1) send me to a mental hospital because they determined I was a “threat” to myself and others (I was not - never was), I sneaked out the back and tried to leave in my car. 2) That’s when I was surrounded by gun-carrying guards as if I had murdered somebody. At that time a white-coated Doctor approached my car and told me that if I went with him to his office to tell him what happened, he’d let me go home, as he was the Head Dr - my own sensible doctor was on med leave - so I followed him back in to his office where he 3) locked his door and told me I could go in an Ambulance or in handcuffs under police escort, but that that was the only way I was going anywhere. 4) They took me (by Ambulance) to the ER and refused to feed me, made me wear a hospital gown and would not let me go to the bathroom without an armed guard. 5) They handcuffed me in another ambulance (so I wouldn’t be a ‘threat’ to anyone…I think they handcuffed the wrong person!) and drove me two hrs away to a Mental Hospital. Before handcuffing me, the EMT told me to scratch my nose as I wouldn’t be able to on the trip! 6) This was after I told them that I was my mother’s ONLY caregiver…they couldn’t have cared less. 7) Once there, they tried to get me to sign a contract to pay them when I got out but I refused. When they FORCED the paper and pen into my hands, I crossed out their words, and wrote that as I had been taken here against my will, that I wouldn’t be paying them a dime. Then I signed that. 8) They then forced me into PAPER PJs that didn’t fit me, and put me into a room with a roommate far worse off than myself. Still, I made the most of it, ‘cause I needed a friend. (It was to be a good decision) 9) When I chose to stay in my room instead of attend a “mandatory” class, they said my ‘punishment’ was a cold plate of food for dinner and no dessert. I started attending classes so I could get food. The classes were useless and stupid. A Chimpanzee could’ve taught them, they were so one-dimensional and simplistic (sorry to all the chimpanzees out there!). 10) We were not allowed any sharp writing utensils since they cleverly showed us how we could make weapons out of them (!) but I called my pastor and asked when he visited me, would he bring me a few well-sharpened pencils and a puzzle magazine in a shopping bag. When he did, right in front of the guard nurses (not to be confused with guard dogs…), I slipped a pencil and the mag into my bra, while putting the rest into a box marked as my personal “contraband”. It worked! My first escape hack as a prisoner of war! That pencil was a lifesaver. It turns out my roommate was an artist, so we took turns using the pencil so we could both keep ourselves from truly GOING insane. I was given a private Psychiatrist for a half-hour a day and, besides the puzzle mag and pencil, this guy saved my life. He believed my story completely (hmmm that’s disturbing on its own), gave me new meds and some useful tips to survive being in that Hell Hole. I really appreciate him. Lesson I learned (not taught in their classes): attend whatever stupid thing they want you to attend, no matter how useless and ridiculous it may seem. It won’t help you, but you will get hot food and vending machine privileges! 11) Two days later, my brother-in-law called me and told me that without me there to take care of her, my Mom had fallen and broken her hip and was in the hospital. She never fully recovered from that fall, and never walked again. Needless to say, I had a FIT right then and there. Thankfully, even the guard nurses seemed to sympathize and let me see my shrink in the mental facility, immediately. I found out from him that Kaiser, or ANY hospital, for that matter, is NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE YOU ANYWHERE WITHOUT PROVIDING YOUR FAMILY, CAREGIVERS WHILE YOU ARE GONE. Kaiser DID NOT DO THAT. He told me they would arrange to get me home earlier because of this…though TOO LITTLE TOO LATE - THE DAMAGE WAS DONE. I never forgave them for that. For any of that. When I finally left, I had choice words to say, you can best believe. I knew it was a hopeless endeavor, but I contacted my case worker and threatened to sue Kaiser Hospital for their cavalier treatment of me and mine. The case worker got the first initial therapist who sent me there, fired. I don’t know what happened to the Kaiser Doctor but I hope he’s working in fast food now. Important for all of you out there who can relate: my case worker told me I was under NO LEGAL OBLIGATION TO FILL OUT ANY PRE-OFFICE VISIT FORMS…such as a psych form, which I had filled out, ‘cause up to that point, I had always followed the rules. NOT ANY MORE, thank you. Now, if someone thrusts an iPad at me and says, “Fill this out please.” I hand it immediately back to them and say, politely, “No. I am under no legal obligation to fill this out for you.” And that’s that. Well, that’s just one of my many examples of how stupidly our mental health services run roughshod over their patients. BEWARE. Very few in this industry are after your best interests. Those “Call this number” ads after Suicide stories may be well-meant but until our country does better at serving the mental health community, I’d call anyone else BUT a suicide hot line. You’ll just get treated the way I was. I once quipped to my case worker after this debacle, that prison would’ve been an upgrade. At least I would’ve been given better PJs and a hot meal!
I totally empathize with this experience. It's hard to find the right kind of help it's hard to find the right words to say or the right meds to take or the right place to go. It's almost as if you have to be your own psychiatrist you have to find peers those professional and non professional because a true caring reciprocal connection to another human being is probably the last thing keeping us here
There are no safe medical or mental health professionals. Money and kick backs run the system. They could care less if you are safe or suicidal, only that insurance pays them upon which time you are miraculously cured. I hope you used Google reviews to write up about the doctors office, the mental health facility, EMT, and anyone else who did you wrong. Name names, organizations, doctors, etc or this hell will never stop for victims.
I'm so sorry you went through that,what a disgrace. I wouldent wish an unhealthy mind on anyone,it's a 24/7 job just to get through some days. A little kindness,respect and understanding along with an educated Dr would be so appreciated, very hard to come by. I hope your doing better today. Peace and strength to you♡.
I am a successful case of survival and I thank my psychiatrist for it. Without meds I am a hot mess but with them I can live almost like a healthy person. And therapy helps a lot too
Might be nice if a therapist wasn't so expensive. I saw one once, she asked if I had thoughts of suicide. I said yes and hopefully that's how I die but not today. That when that time comes I definitely won't tell anyone. I have chronic pain for over 35 years now. Major depressive disorder and scored 100 on an alcoholic questionnaire. The Dr says the best they can do is to have me go to yoga. That they can't help me. My brain is deteriorating and my physical job gets harder everyday. Seeing my father in law in the shape he's in doesn't make me want to live into old age. Nobody wiping my ass. Im basically hanging on until I can't handle the pain anymore or if my wife goes first, which would be that pain. No kids, no parents. Dr says nothing can be done. So I'm hanging on as things continue to get worse until I can't anymore.
If you tell anyone that you are suicidal, or they say it's things will get better it's not that bad don't be selfish. If you tell a therapist, they report you. Then CPS comes and threaten to take your kids to a group home. So who can help? No one.
I'm screwed then. "Friends" don't take my calls or texts anymore, family gets way to uncomfortable about mental health topics, let alone this, and either change the subject or walk away. I have no one to confide in about anything and have no money for "professional" help. I don't make enough money to have extra for that. Coping skills haven't done anything, no matter what it was. This is a great video though and if anyone else is able to get help or has friends and family that are there for them, use the tips in this video, they seem great 😊.
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you can find someone you can confide in. I think there are helplines and stuff available which might be helpful for you. Or, you could keep a diary/journal and vent in it. Or both. There are lots of options for people who are struggling, and I hope your life improves 😊
Hi, I feel the same way , ,, with everything. But hey, ik likley this won’t make you feel better as it wouldn’t make me feel better , buttttt, atleast we know there’s a collective group of people, unable to get help, so atleast we suffer toghether :)
Something I’ve learned while working with suicidal clients is that the ideation often gets meshed with a fantasy that death and dying is somehow going to be better than what they are currently experiencing. The reality is that death isn’t necessarily going to relieve anything. We don’t actually know what happens when you die and rarely have I seen people who go through the death and dying process find it peaceful for them as they are actively dying or for the loved ones who remain and witness it. Suicidal ideation often has a way of fantasizing or romanticizing death. There is little about the process that is nice even in the best cases. Life is short even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. Get help and talk about your feelings with someone.
Thank you.. And you are right. I have shamelessly reached out to everyone I can. I'm deeply devastated by foolish decisions that destroyed my life , I can't believe it myself, but, did it.! I have so much regret..
For me, ik the dying process is horrible , I know it’s not peaceful I’m just to the point where having to be in pain for a certain amount of time then, nothing, is a better idea then constant pain., I also have a chronic illness so this may be why I’m so numb to the idea of being in pain
@mick6247 I just called 988,.. talked for 1½hrs. I honestly don't feel any better. They, nobody can take the emotional trauma out of me. The severe depression, is unbearable. I just don't want to exist with all these losses, and mental and physical pain. I just hate this... I don't know what to do
@@klanderkal honestly 988 is a joke, they leave people on hold and all of that. I’m sorry we both feel the same way, my best advice to you, is , whatever time it is ,go look at the moon, or the clouds, maybe birds , just , things doing their own thing…or even talk to them, I do it all the time even if I sound crazy sometimes nature is , a better listener then anyone Or maybe , talk to a passed on loved one, if you have any, one you were close to , even if you just look at the sky and do it , it’s someone If you have someone you love or a trusted therapist, if you have one, would be good to reach out to now. I hope something happens today that brightens it up, even if it doesn’t seem so :)
@mick6247 Thanks Mick, You really know how it is.. I just can't seem to see anything as good as before.. I used to love all aspects of nature. I was always in awe. Not anymore, I don't like anything. I'm so F'n mad , all that's happened to me. And to be suffering every moment of every Day. THANKS for trying to help me. I was so happy, healthy, had so many hobbies/activities I barely had time before work to squeeze things in. Then, I had the best job ever. I loved my job, and looked forward to it. 20yrs.!! That too is gone, along with all my hobbies, activities etc... Now I'm mentally ill, with nothing, and I can't see...! I hate myself, and my life now. I just hate it. The psychologist can't help me either. It's just personally devastating to me... and I can't handle. Sorry for all this self pity and negativity 😔
I'm totally dependent on my husband of 23 years, he doesn't know how to be empathetic. I suffer from bad fibromyalgia, depression, osteoarthritis, sporadic lameness, bad hips, hands and knees, severe IBS , blind spots in each eyes and a cancer survivor. I'm only 55 years old and feel 90. I would cook dinner 90%of the time, do house work but can only do laundry and light cleaning now. Over the past week he brought it to my attention that I don't do $hit. I've had a really bad flare up so it really knocks me through a loop of endless excruciating pain and swelling so I wasn't able to do what I normally do in the house for a couple of weeks. So the clean dishes stay in the dishwasher and the dirty dishes pile up in and around the sink till I start feeling better then I empty the dishwasher put all the dirty dishes in it. It doesn't matter that I have problems bending or reaching up high to put things away. I do what I can at my own pace but since his outburst I'm in a 24/7 flare-up and in tears. I asked him to apologize but he won't apologize for something that he says is true so I have been isolating myself in our bedroom to try to stay away from any negatively. I have thought about suicide for a few year's bc of the constant pain, I have thought about how to do it and I absolutely know I won't be missed bc I dont have family. It's just my husband, I have always kept people at a distance bc of my past so I don't get close to anyone. Doctor's don't want to hear u they just want ur money, they don't want to help u. It's mostly u walk into a doctor's office and they try to sell u other stuff and try to get u to buy from this one company when come to find out they are part owners of the said company. U will absolutely not be given any kind of medication that is a pain reliver besides telling u to take IB profin or Tylenol but please do buy something I'm getting profits from. I see no help nor support for a person who needs it now a day's. I do like ur video, u gave very good advice but how do u get doctor's to care and treat thier patients? spouse's and loved ones to know empathy and want to help and hear u? I'm at the point to were it's pointless to keep hoping, to consider anyone is really going to be there for somebody, to believe what for my instance my word's, feelings and thoughts r true and raw not seeking attention, not faking anything. I've thought about sending this video to my husband but he wouldn't have the patience to watch the who thing, if he did by some miracle he'd probably use it against me saying I'm trying to put blame on him and it'll probably get worse for me here at home. When I say I have no one and no where to go I really mean no one and no where, I'm just tired of feeling the constant pain that wakes me up even when I sleep. I never have a time of complete peace. Thank u Doctor for doing what u do, putting these videos out and being the person u r. I'm sorry for this long post.
Hey Rachel, I know it's been a while since you commented, but I hope you're doing okay and still with us 🙏🏼 If you'd like, I'm more than happy to talk with you and listen. It sounds like such a difficult situation to be in, and I'd like to extend a hand however I can. Regardless, all my best wishes to you 💗
Oh Rachel, my heart truly aches for you. No person should ever have to endure this pain, sadness, loneliness or hopelessness. Especially at the hands of the person they’re supposed to count on to be there for them through sickness and health. I wish I had helpful advice or something more to offer, but for now please accept my heartfelt empathy. I’d love to talk on the phone some time if you were open to it. Please let me know how you’re doing, and there’s no need at all to apologize for sharing your story. Your voice matters, your feelings matter, your experiences matter. I am with you and you have my support ❤️❤️❤️
Rachel. I have a chronic illness, and also attempts..I read through your message and I wanted to cry, it reminded me of my grandpa , whose wife just , let him suffer in pain. It’s your husband .. Ik it’s sad to say but I can see it, it’s your husband , he’s enabling this.. You obviously have a lot of love and care in your heart, your a good woman, you obviously care about him pain or not . That’s stength, and love. Mostly anyone wouldn’t be able to withstand what you went through. But I can tell it isn’t the same back. If it was he’d care , he’d help. There would be trying to help you as much as he can , cause that’s what a husband does, through sickness and in health. THAT. Is not caring You deserve the world, you deserve top care , your husband is toxic, and with toxicity, it makes your mental health worse . I really believe him being so, careless, is hurting your mental health. He’s actively hurting you. I love you, I do, and if he can’t even listen to a video, it’s himself, that’s his priority. Please don’t continue hurting yourself . I’m actually really worried for you. And you desseve SO much better, your husband , doesn’t act like a husband . I can tell if this was reverse , you’d help him with everything wouldn’t you? Caring for someone who can’t back , from my own experience, digs a bigger hole to begin with. You deserve HELP. Not a ghost . Your so much stronger then him, And carry that pride with you, because he’s so weak, he can’t care for anyone but himself, your so much mentally stronger then he will ever be . If you take anything in this message ,please have pride in yourself, for being such a bad a$$ that you have the perseverance to do all this , and the strength it takes to do it. Your strength inspires me. Ty.
I never knew that talking about suicide is ok. Thank you for this info. I think I will watch this again A lot of information in this video and all of it is new to me.
Some of my favorite Artists died by suicide, Vicent Van Gogh, Yukio Mishima, or Andres Caicedo. Some of them died for philosophical or political reasons, but others to stop their own human suffering. If a person who has a chronic illness thinks about suicide from a rational point of view, seeking not to suffer in the future, is it still not justified ? There are many difficult questions don't know.
We need to drop the stigma against leaving this world. Sometimes, it's just not a very good place for some folks and they're ready to see what, if anything, is next.
Exactly. Most of the stuff people say don’t change your circumstances… it’s just flowers on top of 💩. If people don’t want to be here, trying to convince them to stay feels worse
I REALLY REALLY want to make a sarcastic reply to this that supports what you are voicing while at the same time absolutely denigrating those who are too selfish to understand why someone would choose to leave this hellhole... I mean, planet. I just don't quite know how to put it together properly
I’m glad that I have not had active suicidal thoughts in years. I’ve struggled with active suicidal thoughts and later passive suicidal thoughts before. In the past few years these thoughts were intrusive and unwanted whenever I was exposed to a stressor in my life. I’m glad I haven’t had any thoughts of suicide in almost a year.
As someone who struggles with long term depression, a hug goes a long way. Seriously. Family, friend, partner, etc. It doesnt matter. A hug goes for miles. I cant begin to understste the value. Serioisly, it goes on so long.
This is so true. I have had to learn so much about suicidal ideations with my therapist. It was really scary but I am starting to better process my pain.
I wish I’d go to sleep and never wake up everyday. Psychiatrists and counsellors cause more harm than good. I’ve been on Atleast 20 different medications and nothing works. They made me sick, sleep my life away and cost a fortune.. over 15 years of it. I missed, or don’t remember half of my daughters childhood. Hopefully tonight will be my lucky night!
I have been tortured by suicidals thoughts for most of my life. The only things that help me is getting love and support from people -- that is the only thing I will accept.
All my life, chronic pain, terrible home life, and recently, lost my everything (my best friends, and bf). I've been out on a waiting list but I don't know how much I can wait.
One thing is America's mental healthcare system is a joke. Say someone has been taking benzos for actual anxiety, off the streets because a doctor wouldn't prescribe them to someone who actually has panic disorder. And they end up having to go to a detox center, instead of listening to the person and maybe setting up a slow taper off. Just saying
I'm proud of you young lady. I hope you help some folks. I'm schizophrenic and manic depressed, that's just on paper. I'm here today, and I'll be here tomorrow
My reccomendation would be to keep the boundary you have between you and that friend and enjoy fun time with them. They can’t solve your problems and probably can’t offer any solutions that you haven’t already heard. Appreciate that you have that friend to spend time with and have fun with.
WARNING!!! What she hasn't told you is this. If the US crisis line is same as Australia, if you admit to suicidal thoughts and speak freely to the call centre, even if you are not going to actively suicide but need to unburden your thoughts and what caused them (you often just want someone to understand what life factors are making you feel that way ie by talking through these events to a sympathetic listener often diffuses the intensity of the problem and then the suicidal thoughts lessen too. HOWEVER, all health professionals under law have a Duty of Care so IF this person on the phone doesn't know you and doesn't understand your situation and why you are so distressed, this invisible person after only minutes of listening can have your call traced and the police turn up banging on your door. The point is, of you ring, you are at the mercy of the competency of the one on the other end of the phone. And not all therapists get is let alone a phone counsellor with no background story. So beware what you admit to and always visualise how this other person may perceive if there is danger or not. They will push the find and send authorities to cover their butt. You should end up just needing someone to understand you and talk through the situation, to LISTEN non-judgementally! And before you know it, you are taken away by police to the mental lock up for evaluation which could take days in conditions that push you closer to the brink. I know this to be true because I pinned them down one time and said your intro says our privacy is valued etc etc but eventually admitted that our calls are easily traced and they have the option to notify authorities if they are worried. Some inexperienced or inept person has the right to pass judgement on you even if they're WRONG. Don't believe me?? Any free help call line even if it's not a suicidal help one always asks "do you have suicial thoughts? Are you alone" ? The min you admit to suicidal thoughts even if they were in the past ), the trace is activated (your cell phone number comes up automatically to see when you phone in) so things are ready if the talk goes south and "they" believe you might hurt yourself. Everything is also recorded "for training purposes" =BS
@rhonmc2782 Thank you very much for mentioning this extremely important issue and the helpline staff in Australia didn't used to ask about suicidal thoughts, which was the case when I did the counselling course. They've obviously changed it though and it seems like they're not interested anymore if callers say that they're not suicidal, which doesn't seem right! I realise that it's more of a crisis line nowadays though, whereas it was okay for people to ring to talk to a fellow empathetic human when feeling very lonely back in my day. I informed some of the counsellors that I did attempt to take my life when I was about 15 years old due to extreme trauma issues. I won't act on any thoughts again though. I've also explained that I've had thoughts (not now) since then, like most people these days, yet it means that I'm just in a lot of pain, then feel better after having a damn good cry! I want to add that I was severely retraumatised from being taken to psychiatric wards while upset (not suicidal) a couple of times many years ago, for reasons I won't go into now. In fact, I nearly lost my life the last time, hence why I prefer to stay away from the psychiatric system, especially since I'm not able to take any of the drugs because of my physical health conditions. ❤
@@cyndigooch1162 Hi Cyndi. I've just written a long reply to you but decided to delete. I need to go lay down. I do have some positive free resource contacts I can give you that might prove useful. I find them helpful and real mental health facilitators who get you. If you send me a reply to this, doesn't have to be a real one, just so youtube will send me your nomination again so I can send you those contacts. I am tech challenged and once I reply to you now, I won't be able to find you again. P.s. I have a similar backstory to you and totally get what you're saying. Hopefully these free contact resources I can pass on will help x
Thank you for your words. I am crucified by my family for any emotion I share, or they notice. I am Bipolar, Have ADHD, complex trauma, 11 years sober, I believe undiagnosed autism, and I also have a TBI from an attack. I don't always have control and mask so much. I am always so exhausted. I am my fathers caregiver, and have a 15 yr old who shares a lot of the same diagnosis I do. Usually the painful. all-consuming thoughts of just giving into the peace of not fighting anymore go away as fast as they come. But they just haven't, I've been avoiding the doctor because I know hospital will be the answer and I can't leave my family alone and have no help with them. And how can I get help with all my thoughts are the mess I just have waiting. I really needed to hear I actually need help, I am not over exaggerating. You have impact. Thank you again.
Everytime I try to reach out to my family for help I get criticized for complaining about taking care of my aging mom with Dementia or my nonverbal brother with ASD. So even if I talk to a therapist it's not going to make things better. I'm still going to be overwhelmed. My ADD isn't going to go away things I need to take care of her just going to keep piling up. I never thought I would feel tempted before but now I can see why some people are.
I completely understand the stress that you’re under, and I’m so sorry you’ve been shamed and judged for sharing your troubles with others. No one should ever feel the way you’re feeling, ever. Will you tell me how you’re doing these days?
@@JulianOrchardfanI’m not going to lie reading this made me cry, people like you are so sweet to us I’m 14 and life is very hard for me right now reading you’re comment was like a slap back to reality, and I just want you to know that that slap back, reading something so positive and encouraging broke down an emotional barrier of mine and gave me a good cry, so thank you I hope that you’re life is well and if it’s not I hope it gets better because you deserve it!
First, a question: What about cases where someone has a painful, untreatable, terminal physical disease? Second: The worst thing you can do when dealing with any mental health (or physical health) condition is to pretend you care about someone when you clearly don’t. This happened to me with a self-proclaimed suicide “expert” and I wound up having to give her therapy (which I am not qualified to do) when she called me in a panic because she thought I was suicidal (I wasn’t). Suicide is best prevented by caring about someone years before and showing it, not faking concern for your own ego.
The only thing keeping me around rn is my dog, it just breaks my heart thinking about him just wondering where I am and confused why I haven’t came back yet
Literally me too. I fear for the cycle of life. He is literally the reason I’m here even after I moved out. I am genuinely scared for my mental health after. I hope I go before him
I struggle every day. The only thing keeping me here is knowing how much it would hurt my wife and my parents. I’d rather suffer than put them through that. I’m holding on for now. But the first chance I get to be a hero… I’m taking it 😞
I don’t have any friends I can confide in, so my therapist told me my homework is to try to make friends. But tbh, I don’t want or need them. Having friends (even nice, supportive friends) is exhausting. I’d rather just disappear. Not sure how talking to someone/getting support helps. The support doesn’t stop the ideation for me.
I know that you don't want to make friends by force but just remember that not all people are going to be mean to you or reject you and that it is possible to get friends, friends are kinda important. I also was having the same situation, I usually give up to socialize because I always think that people will not like me but now even though I get really anxious to socialize to new people, I say hi to people and now people are interested in me and want to listen to me.
I honestly expected things to get better, but I’ve felt this way for 20 years and if anything I just regret not doing it sooner; I think of all the stuff I didn’t have to go through. And I’m terrified of what staying here for another 90 years would be like.
It's December 18th I'm about to be made homeless ( my landlord was illegally subletting ), I have no savings to move, no friends or family, Feel so alone and want to give up and die, but too scared to carry it out. What can I do? Society just seems selfish , uncaring and only want money.
Oh Mark, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds just terrible. No one should ever ever go through this or feel this way. I completely understand your pain. I wish I had helpful words or resources to offer. Please tell me how you’ve been doing since you posted this? You’ve got my support friend
With the belief that you are a burden on people that are close to you. With the feeling of despair and emptiness. With the intollerable mental pain that i live with I feel it would be better for all of us if i wasnt around. I would finally be at peace and the mental pain would be gone. People close to me wouldnt be burdened and would be free to live freely. This is how i feel. Even though there are alot of people around me, i feel so alone. Your video brought tears to my eyes.
I lost the love of my life, who I met shortly after my wife filed for divorce, because I left where she was living to get treatment for Intrusive suicidal thoughts back at home, where I could get the meds and therapy I needed. So now I have lost my wife and home and pets, the girl I love and I have two friends left. I am sleeping on a sofa in my parents bedroom, they have moved to the living room, hundreds of miles from my two friends (but they also caused me loads of trauma as a kid). So living really feels pointless and I'm in so much pain.
Thanks so much for sharing your story and feelings, friend. I’m so so sorry you’re going through what you are. It must feel incredibly lonely, hopeless and burdensome. I’ve been there, I completely understand, and I am with you in your pain. I’m so glad you posted this. Will you tell me how you’ve been doing lately? I’d really love to know
Thank you so much for making this video! This is the first video about suicide that actually made me feel seen. I’ve been struggling with passive and active suicidal thoughts for a while now and I really don’t know what to do anymore. I think about taking my life at least once a day and even started doing research on methods and all that. The problem is that it’s really, like really hard for me to open up and to talk about my problems. I’m scared that I might end up being a burden, that they would start treating me differently or that they wouldn’t believe me. I’m also still really young, which makes it even harder for me, to reach out for help on my own. One day I decided to call a hotline. I tried calling there 5 times and no one picked up. Then finally, the 6th time I called, someone picked up. I was ready to talk, I even had the words laid out in my head, but as soon as it was my turn to speak, anxiety overcame me and I immediately hung up. I do have some save persons like my mom but she’s incredibly selfish when it’s about topics like that. I tried telling her several times about how I feel (without mentioning suicide though) and how I wanted professional help, but she for some reason always blocks the topic and says that she doesn’t want me to have therapy because it would make her feel like a bad mother, because it’s expensive, because she has bad experiences and so on and so on. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Everything seems hopeless. It got to a point where I think, that not even a therapy or a hospital would help anymore. I’d love to hear your guys opinion and maybe even some advice on this.
I understand your feelings. Every time I have a suicidal “event’ my family just ‘disappears’…they don’t want to deal with it. If I manage to help myself or get help without them, they always say something lame and stupid afterwards, like, “Oh we thought you were depressed. Yep…” I always just look and them and think, “Oh. Well, thanks for your help. You concern. Your hug. Your listening to me. Oh, wait. You didn’t actually help me at all did you?” If your family is like mine, I would suggest finding a smart and caring Pastor to talk to. They do exist. Sometimes what they provide is simply a listening ear, but that’s a lot these days. If you’re worried ask around - just say you’re looking for a good, caring pastor to speak to. Don’t share why unless you truly trust who you’re talking to. Keep personal info to yourself unless you want to be admitted into a hospital. Pastors and therapists are not supposed to share your info with anyone. Another weird thing I do is read. Not just anything. I read books about people I admire, fictional books like The Hunger Games Trilogy, where there’s a protagonist who is a realist, but brave. I get inspired to find a way to keep going through stories like that. Once, I read the Hunger Games three times in a row because that’s how much I needed it, but it still worked ‘cause I’m still here. Sometimes imagining yourself as an overcomer can help you become one. I also memorize scripture. I’m a singer/songwriter, so music moves me more than the spoken word. I will sing certain scripture out loud to myself, to remind myself that history is full of hurting people like me who made it through. I’ve created playlists of songs that inspire, cajole, impel and encourage me that I can keep going. I will walk around my neighborhood listening to this playlist for courage and strength. It helps me. Try to remember that you are not alone. There are tons of people who feel just like you do. The Bible tells us that, “We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses that have gone before us.” If they can, we can too. I want you to know that even as I write this, I am going through a Depressive episode. Which leads me to my last piece of advice: Turn outward. Help someone else. Help in a food kitchen. Visit a hospital. Help an elderly relative. Cook a meal for a struggling family. Helping others and focusing outward will help you! God bless you, my friend.
@christinamorris1594 you are the first person in all the comments that I have read who offers the advice of turning outwards and that is so very helpful. Helping others takes one's mind off themselves for a while, long enough to realize that life isn't necessarily all about themselves but about interacting with others as well. It's a two way street. Reaching out to help someone else makes you feel better about yourself which is uplifting and benefit to the heart and soul as well as the ego. If one is totally deflated, like I feel, being of service to someone else could make all the difference in the world as far as one's outlook on life is concerned. I have been so self-absorbed with my own painful feelings surrounding my life that I never thought about reaching out to help someone else and, in some small way, elevating their life in some manner. So, because of your unique comment, my mind has now somewhat shifted from myself to looking for a way to help someone else. Your comment may very well have benefitted me tremendously. It is truly remarkable how reading or hearing another person's thought on a subject can partially, or even completely, change the direction of another's thinking. I have been passively thinking about suicide for quite some time now but I also realize that I am in a clinical depression that I have not addressed with any professional. I do have an appointment with a therapist in 5 days though. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for turning my attention from myself to another person or persons. ❤
I have these random episodes of anxiety where I start obsessing about killing myself, feel so depressed, tired, hopeless, and can't control the urge to hurt myself. It's gotten gradually worse throughout the years and these last 4 years have been hell. I have an attempt, fail, and as soon as I get better, I start planning my next attempt. I don't know how many attempts I've had through the years. I can't help these nagging thoughts or make them go away. It's like a constant itch that won't go away. And after 15 years, my parents still don't know, to them, its the stress of school and being overworked. It also doesn't help that my family does not know how to communicate through tough situations. I don't know how much longer I can keep it a secret because at times it literally feels like I'm going insane. I feel worthlessness, shame, guilt, and just want to die.
My cousin son committed suicide 3 years ago.. he didn’t realize his son is depressed cause he was hiding from family so well till 2 months before the death. My cousin tried to taking him to the specialist but he didn’t want. The family is devastated
Hey thank you for making this video! I have experienced a lot of suicidal ideation at different times in my life and am now very supportive of normalizing taking honestly about these things because the shame/stigma made it so much harder to work through. That said, I actually had a huge breakthrough in acceptance of those thoughts and myself and am in a MUCH much better place now. It took time, but I have learned and am still learning to express my emotions (even just to myself) so the pain doesn’t build up, and I have also managed to change my mindset around so many things. It took time, and to be honest I largely did it on my own (or, at least, I didn’t tell most people in my life directly about my thoughts) but it IS possible to move past this and it IS worth it. That said, I have no judgment for anyone who is or who has even been there. I do get it. And I hope it becomes easier for all of us to be honest about these things the more people who are open to having conversations like this. Thank you!
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
My dad, his sister, their dad, my sister. When I over did it at my job I hit the grey zone for 2 weeks. After 7 doctors got the right one. Almost 20 years now and I think every day how. But I promised my kids. Its not a wonderful life.
Listening to the video helped distract me a little which helped me shed unwanted time that I have which got me closer to the end which is my goal. My number 1 goal is to get through my life as fast as possible. Paying a qualified person 300 a month to listen to me is no help just a ball ache and pocket drainer
I tried the hospital psychiatric ward where I live when my bf died suddenly and unexpectedly in Oct 22. It was a nightmare. I have a therapist, but I feel she can only help so much. I do not have any friends or family that are close and can be depended upon. My suicidality results from CPTSD. I wish I could have more help. I've accepted being alone. I have also been dealing with chronic pain since March '22 and cannot get a diagnosis even though I"ve been to dozens of appointments and several doctors. More than I can take. My ideation started with my first suicide attempt at 12yo. Ugh.
To everyone in the comments of this video: I don’t know what you’re going through. I don’t know what kind of problems (mental, phyisical, emotional, financial) you’re experiencing. I know only this: I'm glad you're all here. Please don’t hurt yourselves. You are worth so much more than you think you are. You are not a burden. Your pain is real and valid and nobody has the right to tell you that you're selfish or awful for feeling this way. I live with these thoughts every day. And yeah, we are small, insignificant, immaterial aspects of the universe and we are all going to die one day. It’s true, nothing matters. And that's why EVERYTHING matters. THAT’S WHY *YOU* MATTER. You being here is a one in a million shot, as likely as two bullets striking each other head on. You’re something in a universe full of nothing. You are breathing existing life in a place that is so much bigger and fantastical than you know. That’s why I don’t want you to go. That’s why I want you here. Because there would be so much that you would miss out on. Because as you fade, the first thing your mind would think is "This hurts. I don’t want to die." Because I would miss you, even though I've never met you. Because there are so many new books to read, movies to watch, plans to make, pages to write on, nature to experience, and sunrises to watch and feel. I want you to feel the rain on your faces, to feel the wind on your cheeks. You deserve that. You deserve all the love in the world. You deserve to experience everything that is you, even if it is painful or scary to face. You deserve to be here, to exist. And I don’t want to lose you to something you can't change your mind about tomorrow. Please...even if it's just for me, some person on the internet you don’t even know, or even if It’s for yourself, please stay. Live out of spite if you have to. Please...just live. 💜
"Please...just live." _Not_ worth it... And pure non-stop suffering isn't "living" either way. "You’re something in a universe full of nothing." No... You're _nothing,_ in a universe full of nothing, that came out of nothing and will go back to nothing. Without any difference whether you ever were here or not... "Please don’t hurt yourselves" You are hurting yourself _more_ by staying "alive" at all.
TW: This contains harm and suicidal stuff.. Here I am, My first "suicidal" time, 5th grade..I was scared for 5th grade at first, but was not expecting the pain and help of it, I first showed signs when I would write notes to myself in my personal notebook, now, usually my teachers (or even my school threapist) don't look at my notebook, the 2nd week of it I wrote "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Death is the best thing" and my therapist looked inside my notebook, she tried to talk to me, I told her "I'm fine" when going home that night, I would start to get worse and worse, I went to school the next day, tried talking to my friend, all they did was tell me I should, it causes me to be a "insane" person, I would go home that night, tell my friend online I was done. She ended up calling the cops on me, (good for her) I went to a hospital and was put on medicine (not admitted) 6th grade was pain, That was the first time I tried, I held myself under a pool, trying to drown, it didn't work (as expected), I tried a few months later by overdosing, and it didn't work...I was straight up scared. And I made a plan over and over again. I was talking to my therapist (I have one online) and I decided to attempt with a knife, and it failed, I was admitted for 3 weeks for suicidal ideations and attempting. I love life, but sometimes it is hard, this story is dumb, and I doubt anyone even cares about my thoughts or story, but I'm writing this for some reason. Edit: I am kinda mad I made this.
I read your story, and it definitely wasn’t dumb… thank you for sharing it. I’m so sorry that this all started at such a young age for you. I hope that some things have changed for the better.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and experiences with us, friend 🩷 Life’s tribulations can be absolutely unbearable at times, and your feelings are so so valid. I’m sorry you never got the support you wanted or needed. No one should feel unsupported, alone, isolated or hopeless like this, and I’m sorry that you have felt it all. I completely understand, and I’m so glad someone else out there understands too. How have you been since you posted this?
00:00 Introduction 02:09 Quote about suicide 03:36 What are suicidal ideations? 07:05 Difference between intrusive suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation? 08:14 When to seek help for suicidal thoughts 08:51 Will I be hospitalized if I tell my therapist about my thoughts? 10:57 How to tell someone about your suicidal thoughts 13:08 How to support someone that's suicidal 14:53 How do I help myself if I am suicidal 17:41 National Suicide Emergency line
thank you so much for making this video! Although we are really making huge progress in understanding mental health and welcoming it to the conversation, suicide really is taboo still…it makes us feel lonely, isolated and scared, it makes us feel like we’re freaks and we really have no where to turn to even though we want to…we often tell our therapists everything, but that because we are so afraid and ashamed…talking about it really helps and I cannot tell you how grateful I am to you for making this video! (I am doing very good rn, just so nobody worries)
In many cases it can get better, I think it's important to share a positive message at times, as others come here in crisis looking for comfort. Life is tragic, for sure, but for some, they find peace in the here and now. It's just really hard at times, and when in crisis, we can see no light.
In the UK there is no help for suicidal thoughts. No one cares about anyone here anymore. Over the past 50 years I have had passive thoughts and active experiences and have tried to end my life 24 times. On each of those occasions I never told anyone what I was going to do, no one knew. I did find talking to someone who didn't judge really helped and often made me change how I felt. Suicide is a final resort to severe despair. Knowing you may die in a few minutes is terrifying it certainly isn't a nice place to be but it's sometimes the only option you have. Be kind, always.
I been dealing with sucide thoughts for about 19 years of my life. Early in my 20s tried three different times . But failed each time . Now be 40 years old. My sucide thoughts all stronger than ever . Believe if I try agian which is a real possibility . I will succeed this time .
@kennyjdm4912 I just read your comment and really hope you haven't acted on your thoughts again! I also hope this helpful video, as well as other ones, by caring people, have assisted in some way. It seems to me that you've experienced trauma in your childhood and/or teenage years, which usually causes immense pain. Do you ever cry? I realise that it sounds simplistic, yet it's incredible how the pain and thoughts often abate after doing so. I'm aware that situations are often more complex though. ❤
Hey Kenny, I’m so glad you shared your feelings on here. It helps me to know that others out there feel the way I do. I’m so sorry you’re struggling the way you are. No one deserves to feel so alone and helpless. I am with you in your pain, and I’d love to know how you’ve been doing lately. You have my support 🩷
Hey friend how are you? Are you ok? I can totally relate to what you are saying I feel the same way every day. Please stay and keep breathing. Sending LOVE
Are thoughts like “I wonder how this person would react if I died” or “I wonder if people would care” and decreased fear to dangerous situations or threats (like death threats, speeding in a car, and being on a steep mountain side) considered suicidal ideation? I deal with thoughts like these every day and while they don’t control what I’m doing, it’s often what I’m thinking about it a quiet room or looking out a car window. These thoughts often appear when something minimal happens (like a spark to dynamite). For example, getting a less than stellar grade on a test, a friend or family member being angry with you, having to wake up for school the next day. At the time of writing this comment, I’m at 5:27 in the video so I might be missing a few things but I’m just curious. ❤
I've struggled a lot over the years with my mental health. I've been hospitalized involuntarily at least 4 times, each time leaving more traumatized than the last. I am going to enter a partial hospitalization program next week which I've never done before. I just wanted to say it's so hard to get through mental health crisis and challenges. Giving you all a warm hug and hoping you get through it.
I know that if I kill myself my family will be very upset, but while I am alive my depression is upsetting them anyway so I dont know what to do ?. I cant seem to let go of the past. I even have dreams about it. I can relate to this video.
Hey Pete, thanks so much for sharing your feelings. I’m so glad I’m not alone, it really helps me to know someone out there understands. I know exactly how you feel, and I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through. How have you been doing lately?
I think about ending it all every day 👍🏿. Each day here on earth feels like I'm serving time.
I know exactly what you mean 💯
Each day I cling to hope that tomorrow will be better than today. The problem is I am losing sight of what hope looks like.
@@rickoshay545 tell me about it everyday my day is filled with pain I fill like giving up I'm so miserable
Hey buddy I'm so sorry you going through this please tell me where you reside and I will google top rated therapists for you remember you deserve to be here I'm here for you Michelene is hear for you we will help you and go to great extents to help you you are a great person never forget that
@@xrmteey 😞 please don't do it I will help you. Please tell me where you reside and I will google top rated therapists In your area remember me and michelene are hear for you never lose hope
I agree so much with that quote you mentioned at the start. People who say "suicide is selfish" say so because the friends and family of the deceased will grieve that person's death, but the pain that led that person to suicide was incomparably worse; it was absolutely unbearable! I find it utterly selfish to focus on one's own grief about the death of a loved one rather than considering how much that person had been suffering.
I agree. Its not selfish it's a terrible thing and anyone doing it has their reasons and I'm sure wishes their life was different from unbearable.
Worst, nobody cares until you gone then they care, which is the reason many choose to go "nobody cares maybe when Im gonne they will"
I say "suicide is painless" living is a daily hurt
The way you worded that comment i need a friend like you:(
I agree theres no comparison and they dont have a clue
Every f'ing day. Each day is worse than the one before. I can't even appreciate the amazing things I have. I sleep most of the time because dreams are sometimes better than reality. Sleep is my escape.
I agree, sleeping feels like the only escape.
Aw u ok?🫂❤️🩹
Which one of us, me or @ipfreely3984?
Cause I'm not
"dreams are sometimes better than reality" They truly are...
"Each day is worse than the one before" It's just nature of life, the longer it goes, the worse it becomes...
Getting help for suicidal ideation is difficult because it seems like there's either a rush to hospitalize you, or people think you're just trying to get attention. There seems to be no middle ground where you can discuss it and work through it, and I know for me what started off as passive has been building up for years and I'm scared that one day the pain will just be too unbearable. It seems like the average person and even doctors think that suicide just happens over night. This is not my field, but I would imagine for most it started as passive ideation and became active.
I imagine it varies depending on the cause. It is also important to note that the longer it's gone on, the more difficult it will be to treat and the longer it will take to move past.
I'm not belittling your pain, but have you tried exercising? It helped and I noticed when I stopped it got bad again.
mm i relate
If a therapist belittles these thoughts, they are not a good therapist. People who think you're just "trying to get attention" don't know shit. And even if it's true that you are trying to get attention, THEY SHOULD BE WONDERING WHY and not just dismiss it.
I think it is better if they rush to hospitalize though. This way everyone can see how serious it is and people will stop dismissing you. I was hospitalized for attempt, and there I met lots of people who had never tried to kill themselves but were thinking about it and spoke on time. Many families never took them seriously until a therapist told them their loved one was in danger.
PEOPLE PLEASE SPEAK UP ABOUT THESE THOUGHTS
I relate to this SO much. This is my exact same experience. I just want someone to be patient with me and give me time. I want to be heard. But not a single soul is willing to listen.
Talking to someone ends up being put in a hospital (like jail), they keep you in the till they feel you are OK (you pretend to be ok). Then once you get out you have more problems because you were unable to work so your bills a mounting up, ppl judge you. It drives you down more. I have been there.
💯👆👆this!!!! And they lie to you saying it’s a safe place to feel your feelings, but it’s not, whether you’re feeling really sad and crying or you’re agitated and angry, they don’t want to hear it, and automatically medicate you so they don’t have to deal with you. It is beyond frustrating and maddening. I have no friends , no family to talk to, and there are ALWAYS consequences when I tell my therapist, so I just keep it all to myself and I can’t take it anymore. If no one else can even be bothered to make to effort to listen or be there, what’s the fking point in anything anymore??!! 😔😔
@@petsmart1000 Indeed, there is no point to bother here...
100% true and why in thr scenario I WAS thinking about it, I wouldn't tell anyone. Sometimes it's time to go and the world around us isn't going to change. It doesn't get easier. You can either tolerate life or you can suffer. And there is 0 shame is calling it quits.
Agree with you 100%
I agree & I dislike the fact people can be born....without even asking us "Do you want to be born" God should have asked us, shown a glimpse of what our lives would be like, God made a mistake there. If you are a waitress you wouldn't walk up to a customer & give them a coffee, No, you'd ask, "Would you like tea or coffee" it would save us, the unfortunate ones who live their days feeling low & lower than low.
I lost my 13-year-old daughter to suicide seven months ago. I wish I had understood more about it sooner. Please keep doing good work like this to have the difficult conversations and spread the message.
Im so sorry!! Hang in there ❤️
Sorry for your loss, I can't imagine losing my daughter by suicide. I lost my brother by suicide & searching how to deal with it. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my brother. I know you are having the same thoughts about your daughter. It's very sad that some people lose all will to live and think this is the only way, they have no idea how the ones left behind suffer every day the rest of their lives.
@@KenWalt❤️🫂
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you can find peace. I'm sending you big big hugs🫂🫂🫂🫂
13 years old. Damn.😢
I told one of my friends I was feeling suicidal. Now, My entire circle of friends have isolated me… I made that mistake once, never again
Man, that sounds horrible. I’m so sorry this was the response from the ones you’re supposed to be able to trust. No one should ever have to go through that. I’m with you in your struggles. How have you been since you posted this?
Yep. Bad friends they were.
I’m sorry that happened. not everyone is like this, I hope you can find someone you can actually talk to bc that is very important
Yeah really. Keep thoughts and feelings about suicide private since there are those who want to hospitalize you and now treat you differently. If it's your choice to show bravery and courage to stare death in the face and end your life due to unmitigated suffering then so be it.
It's tough finding out that your supposed friends were no real friends all along ...
Painful, but an important step in the right direction nevertheless.
I hope, you find a new circle of people who truly care about you!
Hospitalization as a last resort doesn't also mean it will be a good or helpful thing, since involuntary stays still cost $ here and does not gurantee quality, unbiased, compassionate care. My last stay for active suicidality was enough to convince me if I am ever actively suicidal again, to never seek help and to be sure my next attempt is 100% lethal.
This is true! I meant this as sometimes it has to happen as least to save a life but doesn’t mean it’s a good experience. I have heard of some liking it and having it be a positive experience but others find it horrible. I think it also depends on the hospital and the resources of where you live
plush, I agree with you. These therapists are just blatantly absurd and/or evil. They don't really understand how hospitalization works. I was hospitalized due to existential related depression. In the so called "hospital", which is strongly analogous to prison, their solution wasn't them writing down the problem and contemplating accurate, real world solutions to solve it. It wasn't them listening either. It was forcing a bit of drugs, being bored all day with nothing constructive to do, and having to participate in silly group "discussions". And when I was released I was WORSE than when I went in. They gave me papers concerning "mental help group cessions" outside of that prison, but I certainly never went, never even REALIZED that I was enrolled in it until weeks later when I happened to read those silly papers.
Know that they dont' care, plush. This michele meatlouf lady doesn't care either. They PUNISH the mentally anguished, not help. They just want money!
Couldn’t agree with you more.
What happened to you? May I ask?
Agreed.
I've been considering suicide for a long time, but I'm afraid to tell anyone because I do not want to be hospitalized! But, I assure you, I do feel close to carrying out my suicidal feelings. And when I do, nothing in the entire world will change, except that I won't have to deal with this entire world anymore.
I get that feeling. That thsi won’t be an attempt because it’ll work bc it’s soo easy to just die if you wanted to. And bc it gives you a sense if relief a way of escape you might not want to tell anyone the truth bc when they ask you if you plan on carrying it out then what’s the point of saying only half the truth? Like if you get the courage to tell someone you’re suicidal you want to say the truth but the truth will get you hospitalized in some cases
I can tell by your name that your young. Everyone gets depressed. I'm 63. You might not realize it now but there are so many things to do and people to meet yet in your life. Suicide should be the last thing on your mind. Do you really want to be remembered for going out that way? My whole life the thing that always worked for me was getting a 2nd job. Right now there are millions of jobs out there. Not only was it a great way to meet people but the extra money was unreal. I was able to retire at 55. Most of the time I was so tired I didn't have time for negative thoughts. Do me a favor. Try it for 6 months. One thing that I noticed when I was dating that a soon as women find out that there's a guy out there working 2 jobs to get ahead and make something of himself they will be knocking on your door. I've been there. That's how I met my wife. I remember a few of the girls I was dating at the time would get mad at me because I didn't have time for them. I told them I was working to get way ahead and I will call you. They would call me all the time. They could not understand why they didn't come first. I came first.
@@peternorthrup6274 depression is a huge factor but I think that's not always what it is for some people it's a control thing, I don't mind living even when I'm sad or angry what I mind is people pushing and crossing my boundaries I mind not being able to do what I want day to day sometimes I don't wanna do anything but just watch movies and everyone and their mother has something to say about it. I'm a romantic I always find beauty in the world but people get in my way and I want out sometimes.
@@peternorthrup6274 Well if a woman is knocking on your door because you work 2 jobs and have extra money do they really love you or are they using you? You can keep all those women LOL. No thanks. Sorry some of what you say is silly.
@@peternorthrup6274 I'm 37, I can't imagine being here at 60. 👍🏿
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporesss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporesss
I hate being alive. Why does this endless, lonely dark tunnel never end?
this is gonna sound cheesy, but its because you have stopped to find a light switch. ive been going through some shit and unfortunately i still havent found mine either so sadly i aint much help.
you’re not alone 🫶🏻
@@izzys.digitaldiary Yes, we are...
I'm 17 and I once expressed passive ideation to the in-school therapist because I was dealing with so much shit and felt so alone that I felt that people would genuinely be better off without me around. I even went so far as to assess how hard my family and friends would grieve in the event of me carrying this out. The therapist referred me to my guidance counselor who then went to the emergency room and my mom for a risk assessment. Easily one of the worst days of my life. It destroyed my mom, they went through every measure possible even when I told everybody it was just passing thoughts in a moment of pain. The IOP program I was referred to was going to be impossible to work around my schedule and drain all of my college savings so I decided not to go through with it. It relieved my parents greatly probably more that I wasn't going to drain them financially and put them through schedule hell. My parents definitely gave off suicide is selfish vibes during the whole ordeal and strongly emphasized that it was a meltdown gone too far. That was true but I still can't help but feel disgusted by the fact that they felt that way about this situation.
Thank you
Sadly sometimes money will help a person not commit suicide. Not having a job to make ends meet can be humiliating and make you feel hopeless
The lack of money is often the reason I'm unemployed and have no way of paying next month's rent and I've been here three years I am guessing that I will end up in a crisis center and hopefully not harm myself. This is as real as it gets.
@@martindurkin8837 dont give up my friend,i hope for you success
@@bryanthomas4907 dont give up,your life is precious,you are strong and smart,have a wonderfull day🙂
@@RedaReda-vl9ff easier said than done buddy
The lack of money is a major reason among other major reasons for suicide and depression these days.
I told my best friend about my plan to kill myself and said something similar to the suggested "script" in the video. She got so mad at me and said a lot of things that it made me feel attacked instead of supported. She even told me I don't know how it feels to lose someone (she lost her mom to cancer when she was in college), which made me think she cares more about how she feels than what is happening to me. I felt worse after telling my situation to her.
Exactly. It's OUR lives, not THEIRS. It's NONE of their business what we do to ourselves.
Humans have the right to tattoo and pierce their own bodies, consent to sex with their own bodies, consume whatever with their own bodies, etc. If any of that offends the people around us, too bad.
And if I'm done living in this body and want out? That's MY right. It's OUR right. If that upsets those around us, so be it. Still doesn't mean they get a say.
She is not your friend.
@@sirhenrymorgan1187 You are so, so right... Too bad that some, many, in-fact, think they can have a claim on others' lives and bodies, even...
I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you can find someone else who can properly listen to your side of things and understand your suffering
I feel you
I am the epitome of someone who should never have been born and people have explicitly told me I don’t belong and to go away, to say the least.
I think it’s commendable I’m still here.
I have nothing and no one today.
I’ve endured far too much hostility.
This is a cruel world.
I wish I was never born.
I sincerely hope that considering how bad my life was and is, that I do indeed die by age 29.
Because if things were going to get better they surely would have by.
Nobody should have to endure that which I have endured and am enduring.
I am a resilient person but this is no life quality.
I have stayed alive too long only because I am incapable of action.
If I had a choice or wish I’d definitely ask for an immediate death.
Anyway, I hope all people enduring depression may be healed quickly and permanently.
Thank you
I can relate. I don't belong. I shouldve never been born. People and life are beyond cruel. Hope I have the courage to end it soon.
You poor thing I know exactly how you feel I send heartfelt love to you I wish I knew U to hug you 🐱💕 smellycat23
I used to be in a major depression and wanted to die every single day. Since then I’ve become a much better person! I started getting out of depression in September 2022. I started with trying to get out of depression. I then started with becoming a better person, that took a while. I then started to take a shower every day and wash my body. Now I’ve started to wash my hair and I’m working on brushing my teeth twice a day. Good luck people
"I wish I could just die in my sleep" about every evening...
The good thing of being alive is knowing that i will die eventually, it give me peace, give me strenght
i hope you feel better now!!?!
I have seizures at times in my sleep. Sometimes I can’t breathe and I could die in my sleep. But my mom or someone saves me and I wake up in the hospital or on the ground…. I wish sometimes no one would notice me having an episode and I could just die. 😞
@@LukaS80808 why do u feel so? I can listen if u want ❤ I had suicidal ideas once and I overcome, I can share my experience if u want❤
Same… life just keeps getting bad and worse
Im suicidal, why should people try and stop me? If nothing is changes, I just wanna get out of here. Stopping me or convincing me to stop seems cruel.
i wish someone would try to talk me out of it. no one cares.
@@chrissy3667please dont do it bro !!!
I was suicidal almost 30 years ago after my wife left with my daughter. If I had gone though I would not have my daughter now 29 yrs old & she would not know her father. It was a pain full divorce for me, I had a bad depression at that time. And it still comes and goes. It's back again after my brother's suicide, so I hope you have not acted on it, but the ones you leave behind you will affect them more than you can imagine. Getting help with your depression is fixable. Suicide is not the answer. Seeing your comment here is good since you are looking for help. A therapist can help you with those thoughts. Depression is painful it's not easy to live with, it takes hard work and you can beat it. My brother was different he was in the hospital twice but would not follow up with the help needed, he refused the help, so don't refuse help there is so much available.
@@KenWaltthank you for this message. I’ve been around suicide videos lately and feeling hopeless is prevalent here. I lost my boyfriend to suicide and thought maybe there’s no really hope in this world. That nothing can ever help. But your comment is some kind of light.
I am afraid that if I talk about suicide to a friend, I'll bring them down and they will also feel bad like I do. I am afraid that they won't want to associate with me anymore and that I'll be even more alone than I already am. I am afraid that I will be committed to a mental hospital and I won't be able to work or earn money causing me to be evicted and homeless. I am afraid of being homeless. I am afraid of being forgotten like my life never mattered. I prefer to watch youtube videos on suicide rather than get help because I don't think anyone can really help me. I was destined to be like this.
I relate so much to not wanting to tell friends. I don't want them to feel like its their fault or if they couldve done more (even if they could've). I really dont want my thoughts to affect them and start making them feel worse then they are. And yet I still want to talk to them about my mental health, i just wont let myself so they're not affected
You are so self aware and articulate. Thank you. Hope you feel better than yesterday today .
Hey, I don’t know if you’ll read this but my friend has reached out to me about suicidal thoughts before, and it’s honestly not a bother. If anything I’m more glad that they trust me enough to bring it up. I don’t know your friends, but talking to them could help.
You are very perceptive. I avoid the subject for the same reasons you do.
Thats exactly how i feel and think
Others have probably said the same but, I can't believe how relaxing those thoughts are
Same. I know I'm never going to go through with it, but it's sickly relaxing to think about it. I find another type of relief and calm and happiness (??) in it. I think about what the people who make me go through this and other people who did not know would feel like after I die, even if it might not be their job to do so. But what when I give/gave them hints and they didn't notice? So I just feel like they would be so guilty after I die in my fantasy. And that makes me happy.
It's sick. When the episode ends, I immediately feel guilty and shameful.
I felt like dying multiple times during my life but I’ve never gotten to the point where I’m depressed like I am right now. I’m so sick of dealing with such tough things in this world that the only way to get away from them and to not have to deal with them is to die
I use to be suicidal. I was drunk one night and stood in front of the mirror and studied my face. I came to the conclusion that I am not an accident and thus started my search for the Lord. Free for 30 years. Don't give up. God truly loves you. This world is enough to discourage anyone. Our sin made the world what it is. Jesus is the cure. Isaiah 53:5
I agree I hate my life and the cards I was dealt it’s almost as if someone or something set me up I am alone in this world and nobody would miss me after I am gone not one bit.
Same with me.
@@Chillforev-dd9wrthat’s not true, many people would miss you. I feel like this too sometimes, that I always get the short end of the stick and nothing works out in my favor. But this is not a true thing to think, I always have to say to myself that this is not true. It’s just a temporary condition and things will get better.
@@maddydog1234 I hope. It hasn’t yet but I just hope in vain.
The fear of guilt and shame if I mention my thoughts to a person is very strong. There is an extremely strong fear of judgment if it's mentioned in the workplace and the work force is a strong trigger of these thoughts.
I mentioned it to my boss because I was going to quit my job and my boss offered a mental health service to contact, but I am loaded with anxiety now regarding how he sees me at work.
I have been a HR professional for 30 years. Please know management and HR have seen everything before. As part of our job, we interact all the time with employees who are depressed, suicidal, a victim of abuse, addicts, terminally ill, even arrest, affairs, etc., so please know you are not walking around with a spotlight on you.
My experience is that management is very understanding and supportive of suicidal employees. They want to help, and are the less likely people to judge.
How are you doing?
I talked about it with my boss and he was very supportive! Im still with this company and I eventually will be for the rest of my life!
There are some really really smart people and its inspiring! I even started programming because they made it seem so easy and I never thought I could do it!
Even on days I just want to stay In bed... ok every day is shit but as soon as I work with them or I am done with the gym I feel a little bit better! (some days even much better ^^)
@@DasHeino2010this is so good!!! ❤ I hope I’ll feel better soon …
@@truthbetold6942 You have been in the job less than seven years…yes?
You don't want to die, what you want is an end to your pain." I don't believe that is true for all. Some are just tired of life's continuing struggles and pain , and want to be done with it once and for all. At least i do, and struggle with that thought process
"You don't want to die, what you want is an end to your pain." That essentially means the same anyway, so what's the difference?
Yes, you are _right,_ some want to die to save themselves from those who look to hurt them... Better kill yourself, than give yourself away to the enemy...
Yes, you are right, some want to die to save themselves from those who wish to hurt them... Better to die from your own hand, than give yourself away to the enemy...
Yeah, life just ain't for me. Call me lazy if you want but I don't want put in the work, making friends or connections, working, talking to people, waking up every day...... I much prefer when I'm not conscious. The only thing holding me back is my family (and that laziness lol, it's much easier to do nothing)
@@TheLethargicWeirdo985if your family holds you back from suicide then maybe you care about them, maybe doing things to help them can help you overcome your laziness.
The thing is I want a permanent solution. I'm tired of the highs and lows of my life especially when the low just seem to get lower.
When I look at myself I see nothing worth saving, and nothing worth living for. But I am too pathetic and scared to take the plunge.
I don't matter. No one really cares
No no no,you are beauthifull and really smart,you are kind and special,stay brave my friend,your life is precious
I highly doubt you have nothing worth saving. What are 8 things you’re grateful for in life right now?
Damn, my thoughts just got read.
Lisa, I couldn't have said it better myself. Exactly. Not just the lows, but the highs are just as tragic. We need more understanding like yours. Please don't leave us.
@@RedaReda-vl9ff Keep your ridiculous corny nonsense to yourself, please... It's only annoying at best...
Ppl say that suicidal thoughts aren’t normal but I swear everyone has had them
Look at the state of the world im surprised it is not more common
Agree with both of you. Still there is stigma around it. Instead people should help each other.
I am 48 years old, I failed at every honest uplifting endeavor in my life, my family hates me, my longest intimate relationship was only 10 months long, my career in software development is going nowhere, I have no friends, I have made repeated calls to the suicide hotline. I have been struggling with this my entire life and always hoped I would grow out of it. The stresses of life have just made it worse.
I completely hear you, I am with you in your pain. I’m so glad you decided to share your story and your feelings, and I’m sorry that you’ve been going through what you have. No one deserves to experience or feel those things, ever. Will you tell me how you’re doing now?
The suicide hotline is a joke, as is this woman.
@@mattparker2323I think some people do these videos for views.
@@mattparker2323 Just a farce indeed.
@@hdjksa52 I won’t say anything like things will get better blah blah blah but I will say you helped me becuse you shared your pain and it makes me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you
What if I don’t enjoy living but I’m too scared to die?? Like the best way I can explain it is I enjoy going to sleep because im not conscious
Same.
I'm too scared to die aswell.. All I can do is envy ppl who were determined enough to free themselves from pain.
@@xWabbli Same same. They are the courageous ones.
just out of personal experience. you dont want to die, you want to end all the pain. one fix that has pushed me through tough times (its not a healthy one) is lying to yourself. constantly like to yourself about your mental health as you are activly trying to fix it, even if it doesnt fix the problem is weakened it for me.
Exactly same! I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this. I haven't seen a lot of people feel this too. Because I don't actually want to die, I just don't want to live like this, and I don't want to be awake to face this all the time. And I am too afraid to kill myself. So I just... Want to sleep. Sleep is the best option. Sleep is so safe and secure. Sleep is truly everything. I just want unconsciousness and sleep provides it.
It is so hard to tell it because they often don't take it seriously, some even accuse me that I am just seeking attention and wants pity. It is very provoking and encouraging to carry it out.
Be strong and don’t tell anybody. Sometimes it makes you stronger. Stoicism.
@@theway3660 everyone has their own unique way of dealing with pain. Not everyone can practice stoicism.
@@theway3660 Hiding your emotions is not strength or "stoicism", it's just another form of self-harm. Stop celebrating things that FURTHER HARMS PEOPLE'S MENTAL HEALTH!
Sounds like boomers.
I've looked at people who have committed suicide with envy in that they had the strength to carry out through. I sometimes wonder that when you are absolutely sure you are going to do it should you just do it before a change of mind or should you take time to enjoy the fact that it'll soon be over
Exactly. I'm a coward and also too dumb to carry it out.
I have passive and active suicidal thoughts. I am frequently, activily suicidal (going through that currently). I work with a therapist ( I have been seeing her for over 2 years). There is one other type of suicidality - if you would use that term for it). And that is what I call suicidal feeling.
That is absolutely the most dangerous for me. I am in a heightened state of anxiety, I have to get away from harming myself. This is like crisis times ten. When I am like this - can't drive. Being anywhere is dangerous ( I might run out in traffic). The last time I felt this way was about 6 months ago. I called my therapist, she agreed to see me.
One of the things I noticed was when I walked into the clinic and sat down: I felt safe, I knew they wouldn't let me hurt myself there. (I know alot of the staff). After I met with my therapist, she told me anytime I felt that way, just tell them that you need to see one of the behavoral health professionals and you're just going to sit until one becomes availiable. I thought that was a good plan. I just wanted to mention this other sense of suicidality I have: Suicidal Feeling. Action is immediately required.
In the second paragraph if I understood that correctly. You do not have to actively try to commit suicide in order for a suicide attempt? Do you just have intrusive thoughts for it to be an attempt? Back in spring 2022, my anxiety was so bad I held myself to my bed because I was literally afraid the my brain was going to physically take me & make me jump off my balcony. I didn’t feel suicidal & I didn’t want to die. I was so afraid that my brain was going to do something to me or someone. I was completely dissociated for 3 weeks. I drove (literally don’t know how I didn’t unalive myself doing this) I drove 3 hours back to school. I still had severe intrusive thoughts I was so scared that my BRAIN was going to drive me off the freeway. Is this a suicide attempt or just severe intrusive thoughts? By the way, I didn’t want to hurt myself or others. It felt like something had taken over my body & I couldn’t control it. Even though I didn’t want to die maybe I was suicidal & didn’t realize it because I had never felt like that before. The scariest part was the dissociation because it took me a solid 3 weeks to fully come back. (BTW my therapist is aware of this whole thing & as I type this I do not feel suicidal)
@@makydenparreira5170how are you today??
How are you today susan?
To anyone at a point like this in their life. Just know that others are out there who understand what it’s like. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s understandable why you feel like you do, sometimes just knowing others understand that you’re struggling helps. Life isn’t always smooth sailing. We are all in this together. Much love.
I've dealt with passive thoughts for over 30 years without leaning on anyone. No safety plan, no therapy - I don't know when or how but it became "normal" and just sits in the background. I don't have crisis days or anything like that.
It's not particularly a threat to me, it's just something I think about daily.
🤷♂
I wish I could hug each one of you going through such thoughts. I have been dealing with these from many years and I know how exactly it feels... we can't describe in words... I feel someone would hug me once and ask about it. That doesn't happen...
Being constantly reminded by life that you deserve to suffer becomes more and more of a burden. Sometimes you want to end it but the thought of what might await me in the next chapter of existence is the only thing that keeps me alive. For now.
Living in the USA as a person with mental issues, in my case, Chronic Major Depression, has got to be like living in the Dark Ages. I’ve been hospitalized twice and both times were a travesty of epic proportions. I could’ve taught the ‘classes’, they were so simplistic…and how I ended up there, in both cases, was criminal. We ARE treated like criminals from the first moment to when we finally leave the Mental Hospital. I learned, VERY QUICKLY, how to play the game so I could GET OUT of there ASAP…but it shouldn’t be that way. They pile indignity upon indignity on you from the beginning. My examples: I was surrounded by armed security guards the 2nd time after I went in to the clinic to ask for new medicine since my old anti-depressant wasn’t working. When I realized they were going to 1) send me to a mental hospital because they determined I was a “threat” to myself and others (I was not - never was), I sneaked out the back and tried to leave in my car. 2) That’s when I was surrounded by gun-carrying guards as if I had murdered somebody. At that time a white-coated Doctor approached my car and told me that if I went with him to his office to tell him what happened, he’d let me go home, as he was the Head Dr - my own sensible doctor was on med leave - so I followed him back in to his office where he 3) locked his door and told me I could go in an Ambulance or in handcuffs under police escort, but that that was the only way I was going anywhere. 4) They took me (by Ambulance) to the ER and refused to feed me, made me wear a hospital gown and would not let me go to the bathroom without an armed guard. 5) They handcuffed me in another ambulance (so I wouldn’t be a ‘threat’ to anyone…I think they handcuffed the wrong person!) and drove me two hrs away to a Mental Hospital. Before handcuffing me, the EMT told me to scratch my nose as I wouldn’t be able to on the trip! 6) This was after I told them that I was my mother’s ONLY caregiver…they couldn’t have cared less. 7) Once there, they tried to get me to sign a contract to pay them when I got out but I refused. When they FORCED the paper and pen into my hands, I crossed out their words, and wrote that as I had been taken here against my will, that I wouldn’t be paying them a dime. Then I signed that. 8) They then forced me into PAPER PJs that didn’t fit me, and put me into a room with a roommate far worse off than myself. Still, I made the most of it, ‘cause I needed a friend. (It was to be a good decision) 9) When I chose to stay in my room instead of attend a “mandatory” class, they said my ‘punishment’ was a cold plate of food for dinner and no dessert. I started attending classes so I could get food. The classes were useless and stupid. A Chimpanzee could’ve taught them, they were so one-dimensional and simplistic (sorry to all the chimpanzees out there!). 10) We were not allowed any sharp writing utensils since they cleverly showed us how we could make weapons out of them (!) but I called my pastor and asked when he visited me, would he bring me a few well-sharpened pencils and a puzzle magazine in a shopping bag. When he did, right in front of the guard nurses (not to be confused with guard dogs…), I slipped a pencil and the mag into my bra, while putting the rest into a box marked as my personal “contraband”. It worked! My first escape hack as a prisoner of war! That pencil was a lifesaver. It turns out my roommate was an artist, so we took turns using the pencil so we could both keep ourselves from truly GOING insane. I was given a private Psychiatrist for a half-hour a day and, besides the puzzle mag and pencil, this guy saved my life. He believed my story completely (hmmm that’s disturbing on its own), gave me new meds and some useful tips to survive being in that Hell Hole. I really appreciate him. Lesson I learned (not taught in their classes): attend whatever stupid thing they want you to attend, no matter how useless and ridiculous it may seem. It won’t help you, but you will get hot food and vending machine privileges! 11) Two days later, my brother-in-law called me and told me that without me there to take care of her, my Mom had fallen and broken her hip and was in the hospital. She never fully recovered from that fall, and never walked again. Needless to say, I had a FIT right then and there. Thankfully, even the guard nurses seemed to sympathize and let me see my shrink in the mental facility, immediately. I found out from him that Kaiser, or ANY hospital, for that matter, is NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE YOU ANYWHERE WITHOUT PROVIDING YOUR FAMILY, CAREGIVERS WHILE YOU ARE GONE. Kaiser DID NOT DO THAT. He told me they would arrange to get me home earlier because of this…though TOO LITTLE TOO LATE - THE DAMAGE WAS DONE. I never forgave them for that. For any of that. When I finally left, I had choice words to say, you can best believe. I knew it was a hopeless endeavor, but I contacted my case worker and threatened to sue Kaiser Hospital for their cavalier treatment of me and mine. The case worker got the first initial therapist who sent me there, fired. I don’t know what happened to the Kaiser Doctor but I hope he’s working in fast food now. Important for all of you out there who can relate: my case worker told me I was under NO LEGAL OBLIGATION TO FILL OUT ANY PRE-OFFICE VISIT FORMS…such as a psych form, which I had filled out, ‘cause up to that point, I had always followed the rules. NOT ANY MORE, thank you. Now, if someone thrusts an iPad at me and says, “Fill this out please.” I hand it immediately back to them and say, politely, “No. I am under no legal obligation to fill this out for you.” And that’s that. Well, that’s just one of my many examples of how stupidly our mental health services run roughshod over their patients. BEWARE. Very few in this industry are after your best interests. Those “Call this number” ads after Suicide stories may be well-meant but until our country does better at serving the mental health community, I’d call anyone else BUT a suicide hot line. You’ll just get treated the way I was. I once quipped to my case worker after this debacle, that prison would’ve been an upgrade. At least I would’ve been given better PJs and a hot meal!
I totally empathize with this experience. It's hard to find the right kind of help it's hard to find the right words to say or the right meds to take or the right place to go. It's almost as if you have to be your own psychiatrist you have to find peers those professional and non professional because a true caring reciprocal connection to another human being is probably the last thing keeping us here
There are no safe medical or mental health professionals. Money and kick backs run the system. They could care less if you are safe or suicidal, only that insurance pays them upon which time you are miraculously cured.
I hope you used Google reviews to write up about the doctors office, the mental health facility, EMT, and anyone else who did you wrong. Name names, organizations, doctors, etc or this hell will never stop for victims.
😅@@thebrandonmayesfiles5419
Even in other so called civilised countries treat people in hospitals like they are criminals...it is as illness, their is psychological abuse!
I'm so sorry you went through that,what a disgrace. I wouldent wish an unhealthy mind on anyone,it's a 24/7 job just to get through some days. A little kindness,respect and understanding along with an educated Dr would be so appreciated, very hard to come by. I hope your doing better today. Peace and strength to you♡.
You are not alone. We got this people 💪 keep strong
I am a successful case of survival and I thank my psychiatrist for it. Without meds I am a hot mess but with them I can live almost like a healthy person. And therapy helps a lot too
Might be nice if a therapist wasn't so expensive. I saw one once, she asked if I had thoughts of suicide. I said yes and hopefully that's how I die but not today. That when that time comes I definitely won't tell anyone. I have chronic pain for over 35 years now. Major depressive disorder and scored 100 on an alcoholic questionnaire. The Dr says the best they can do is to have me go to yoga. That they can't help me. My brain is deteriorating and my physical job gets harder everyday. Seeing my father in law in the shape he's in doesn't make me want to live into old age. Nobody wiping my ass. Im basically hanging on until I can't handle the pain anymore or if my wife goes first, which would be that pain. No kids, no parents. Dr says nothing can be done. So I'm hanging on as things continue to get worse until I can't anymore.
If you tell anyone that you are suicidal, or they say it's things will get better it's not that bad don't be selfish. If you tell a therapist, they report you. Then CPS comes and threaten to take your kids to a group home. So who can help? No one.
I'm screwed then. "Friends" don't take my calls or texts anymore, family gets way to uncomfortable about mental health topics, let alone this, and either change the subject or walk away. I have no one to confide in about anything and have no money for "professional" help. I don't make enough money to have extra for that. Coping skills haven't done anything, no matter what it was. This is a great video though and if anyone else is able to get help or has friends and family that are there for them, use the tips in this video, they seem great 😊.
I'm at the end of my rope and it's too hard to hang on.
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you can find someone you can confide in. I think there are helplines and stuff available which might be helpful for you. Or, you could keep a diary/journal and vent in it. Or both. There are lots of options for people who are struggling, and I hope your life improves 😊
I’m glad that UA-cam videos like this exist. They help so many people
I have no one 988 can’t help they are very nice for 10 mins they are busy you can call every hour
Hi, I feel the same way , ,, with everything. But hey, ik likley this won’t make you feel better as it wouldn’t make me feel better , buttttt, atleast we know there’s a collective group of people, unable to get help, so atleast we suffer toghether :)
Something I’ve learned while working with suicidal clients is that the ideation often gets meshed with a fantasy that death and dying is somehow going to be better than what they are currently experiencing. The reality is that death isn’t necessarily going to relieve anything. We don’t actually know what happens when you die and rarely have I seen people who go through the death and dying process find it peaceful for them as they are actively dying or for the loved ones who remain and witness it. Suicidal ideation often has a way of fantasizing or romanticizing death. There is little about the process that is nice even in the best cases. Life is short even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. Get help and talk about your feelings with someone.
Thank you..
And you are right.
I have shamelessly reached out to everyone I can.
I'm deeply devastated by foolish decisions that destroyed my life , I can't believe it myself, but, did it.!
I have so much regret..
For me, ik the dying process is horrible , I know it’s not peaceful
I’m just to the point where having to be in pain for a certain amount of time then, nothing, is a better idea then constant pain., I also have a chronic illness so this may be why I’m so numb to the idea of being in pain
@mick6247 I just called 988,.. talked for 1½hrs. I honestly don't feel any better. They, nobody can take the emotional trauma out of me. The severe depression, is unbearable. I just don't want to exist with all these losses, and mental and physical pain. I just hate this...
I don't know what to do
@@klanderkal honestly 988 is a joke, they leave people on hold and all of that.
I’m sorry we both feel the same way, my best advice to you, is , whatever time it is ,go look at the moon, or the clouds, maybe birds , just , things doing their own thing…or even talk to them, I do it all the time even if I sound crazy sometimes nature is , a better listener then anyone
Or maybe , talk to a passed on loved one, if you have any, one you were close to , even if you just look at the sky and do it , it’s someone
If you have someone you love or a trusted therapist, if you have one, would be good to reach out to now.
I hope something happens today that brightens it up, even if it doesn’t seem so :)
@mick6247 Thanks Mick,
You really know how it is..
I just can't seem to see anything as good as before..
I used to love all aspects of nature. I was always in awe. Not anymore, I don't like anything. I'm so F'n mad , all that's happened to me. And to be suffering every moment of every Day. THANKS for trying to help me. I was so happy, healthy, had so many hobbies/activities I barely had time before work to squeeze things in. Then, I had the best job ever. I loved my job, and looked forward to it. 20yrs.!! That too is gone, along with all my hobbies, activities etc...
Now I'm mentally ill, with nothing, and I can't see...! I hate myself, and my life now. I just hate it. The psychologist can't help me either.
It's just personally devastating to me... and I can't handle. Sorry for all this self pity and negativity 😔
I have always had them- and it somehow makes my depression better. I think about it and oddly feel relief.
I get that. It's almost comforting in a way, knowing that you have an emergency plan of escape if things get to hard.
Me too
it is oddly comforting knowing there is a way out... turn it around and try to find faith instead
I'm totally dependent on my husband of 23 years, he doesn't know how to be empathetic. I suffer from bad fibromyalgia, depression, osteoarthritis, sporadic lameness, bad hips, hands and knees, severe IBS , blind spots in each eyes and a cancer survivor. I'm only 55 years old and feel 90. I would cook dinner 90%of the time, do house work but can only do laundry and light cleaning now. Over the past week he brought it to my attention that I don't do $hit. I've had a really bad flare up so it really knocks me through a loop of endless excruciating pain and swelling so I wasn't able to do what I normally do in the house for a couple of weeks. So the clean dishes stay in the dishwasher and the dirty dishes pile up in and around the sink till I start feeling better then I empty the dishwasher put all the dirty dishes in it. It doesn't matter that I have problems bending or reaching up high to put things away. I do what I can at my own pace but since his outburst I'm in a 24/7 flare-up and in tears. I asked him to apologize but he won't apologize for something that he says is true so I have been isolating myself in our bedroom to try to stay away from any negatively. I have thought about suicide for a few year's bc of the constant pain, I have thought about how to do it and I absolutely know I won't be missed bc I dont have family. It's just my husband, I have always kept people at a distance bc of my past so I don't get close to anyone. Doctor's don't want to hear u they just want ur money, they don't want to help u. It's mostly u walk into a doctor's office and they try to sell u other stuff and try to get u to buy from this one company when come to find out they are part owners of the said company. U will absolutely not be given any kind of medication that is a pain reliver besides telling u to take IB profin or Tylenol but please do buy something I'm getting profits from. I see no help nor support for a person who needs it now a day's. I do like ur video, u gave very good advice but how do u get doctor's to care and treat thier patients? spouse's and loved ones to know empathy and want to help and hear u? I'm at the point to were it's pointless to keep hoping, to consider anyone is really going to be there for somebody, to believe what for my instance my word's, feelings and thoughts r true and raw not seeking attention, not faking anything. I've thought about sending this video to my husband but he wouldn't have the patience to watch the who thing, if he did by some miracle he'd probably use it against me saying I'm trying to put blame on him and it'll probably get worse for me here at home. When I say I have no one and no where to go I really mean no one and no where, I'm just tired of feeling the constant pain that wakes me up even when I sleep. I never have a time of complete peace. Thank u Doctor for doing what u do, putting these videos out and being the person u r. I'm sorry for this long post.
Hey Rachel, I know it's been a while since you commented, but I hope you're doing okay and still with us 🙏🏼 If you'd like, I'm more than happy to talk with you and listen. It sounds like such a difficult situation to be in, and I'd like to extend a hand however I can. Regardless, all my best wishes to you 💗
Oh Rachel, my heart truly aches for you. No person should ever have to endure this pain, sadness, loneliness or hopelessness. Especially at the hands of the person they’re supposed to count on to be there for them through sickness and health. I wish I had helpful advice or something more to offer, but for now please accept my heartfelt empathy. I’d love to talk on the phone some time if you were open to it. Please let me know how you’re doing, and there’s no need at all to apologize for sharing your story. Your voice matters, your feelings matter, your experiences matter. I am with you and you have my support ❤️❤️❤️
Rachel. I have a chronic illness, and also attempts..I read through your message and I wanted to cry, it reminded me of my grandpa , whose wife just , let him suffer in pain.
It’s your husband .. Ik it’s sad to say but I can see it, it’s your husband , he’s enabling this..
You obviously have a lot of love and care in your heart, your a good woman, you obviously care about him pain or not . That’s stength, and love. Mostly anyone wouldn’t be able to withstand what you went through.
But I can tell it isn’t the same back. If it was he’d care , he’d help. There would be trying to help you as much as he can , cause that’s what a husband does, through sickness and in health. THAT. Is not caring
You deserve the world, you deserve top care , your husband is toxic, and with toxicity, it makes your mental health worse .
I really believe him being so, careless, is hurting your mental health. He’s actively hurting you.
I love you, I do, and if he can’t even listen to a video, it’s himself, that’s his priority. Please don’t continue hurting yourself .
I’m actually really worried for you. And you desseve SO much better, your husband , doesn’t act like a husband .
I can tell if this was reverse , you’d help him with everything wouldn’t you?
Caring for someone who can’t back , from my own experience, digs a bigger hole to begin with.
You deserve HELP. Not a ghost .
Your so much stronger then him, And carry that pride with you, because he’s so weak, he can’t care for anyone but himself, your so much mentally stronger then he will ever be .
If you take anything in this message ,please have pride in yourself, for being such a bad a$$ that you have the perseverance to do all this , and the strength it takes to do it.
Your strength inspires me. Ty.
I never knew that talking about suicide is ok. Thank you for this info. I think I will watch this again A lot of information in this video and all of it is new to me.
Yes it’s ok, it helps people feel less alone and less isolated. Also provides the opportunity to get help
Some of my favorite Artists died by suicide, Vicent Van Gogh, Yukio Mishima, or Andres Caicedo. Some of them died for philosophical or political reasons, but others to stop their own human suffering.
If a person who has a chronic illness thinks about suicide from a rational point of view, seeking not to suffer in the future, is it still not justified ? There are many difficult questions don't know.
We need to drop the stigma against leaving this world. Sometimes, it's just not a very good place for some folks and they're ready to see what, if anything, is next.
Exactly. Most of the stuff people say don’t change your circumstances… it’s just flowers on top of 💩. If people don’t want to be here, trying to convince them to stay feels worse
@@drecool85 You are very much right...
I agree, that's why I don't understand when they talk about "hurting yourself"....it's the contrary for some: Life is hurting themselves
I REALLY REALLY want to make a sarcastic reply to this that supports what you are voicing while at the same time absolutely denigrating those who are too selfish to understand why someone would choose to leave this hellhole... I mean, planet. I just don't quite know how to put it together properly
@@drecool85 Love your analogy. I've been known to use a shit sandwich with raisins analogy when people say "think of the positives in life".
Expectation: “Hey, are you suicidal?” “Yeah, thank you for caring.”
Reality: “Hey, are you suicidal?” “The easiest answer is no.”
You are right on target with this statement
@@mikehambly1287 yeah, it’s better to die to not burden them
you dont burden anyone
@@grantlathrop6837 Taking care of the aftermath of someone's death is expensive and time consuming. It's also not something everyone will just forget.
@@carolscarlette the one time expense to never deal with me ever again is very much worth it
I’m glad that I have not had active suicidal thoughts in years. I’ve struggled with active suicidal thoughts and later passive suicidal thoughts before. In the past few years these thoughts were intrusive and unwanted whenever I was exposed to a stressor in my life. I’m glad I haven’t had any thoughts of suicide in almost a year.
I'm happy for you ❤
As someone who struggles with long term depression, a hug goes a long way. Seriously. Family, friend, partner, etc. It doesnt matter. A hug goes for miles. I cant begin to understste the value. Serioisly, it goes on so long.
This is so true. I have had to learn so much about suicidal ideations with my therapist. It was really scary but I am starting to better process my pain.
I’m so proud of you! It’s a lot to learn but knowledge about this can save lives ❤️
@@Micheline.Maalouf I'm afraid the only thing that can help me is money and I have a very simple and empty life. What should I do?
@@martindurkin8837 Can you explain a bit more about your life situation? If comfortable of course!
@martin I am sorry to tell you Micheline.Maalouf does not care about you or your questions. She couldn’t respond to you in 9 months.. smh.
I’m here for anyone who need to talk, I’m the same boat as everyone I think about but it but don’t want to hurt my loved ones by doing it
Still available to talk? I’m having a lot of serious suicidal thoughts and they are only getting worse and I have no support network
Yes please how can we talk ?
I wish I’d go to sleep and never wake up everyday. Psychiatrists and counsellors cause more harm than good. I’ve been on Atleast 20 different medications and nothing works. They made me sick, sleep my life away and cost a fortune.. over 15 years of it.
I missed, or don’t remember half of my daughters childhood. Hopefully tonight will be my lucky night!
I swear therapist make your life worse
I took all of the SSRIs and antipsychotics and it only made it worse. Ketamine therapy helped a lot. But it wears off eventually.
Pray, God listens
@@zawiforbes6583God??? Enough with this mythology
I have been tortured by suicidals thoughts for most of my life. The only things that help me is getting love and support from people -- that is the only thing I will accept.
Me to !
We don't want to die we just want the mental torture to end 😢
All my life, chronic pain, terrible home life, and recently, lost my everything (my best friends, and bf).
I've been out on a waiting list but I don't know how much I can wait.
One thing is America's mental healthcare system is a joke. Say someone has been taking benzos for actual anxiety, off the streets because a doctor wouldn't prescribe them to someone who actually has panic disorder. And they end up having to go to a detox center, instead of listening to the person and maybe setting up a slow taper off. Just saying
I'm proud of you young lady. I hope you help some folks. I'm schizophrenic and manic depressed, that's just on paper. I'm here today, and I'll be here tomorrow
Finally, someone who calls out the Suicide is Selfish nonsense
I so badly wish I could actually talk to people about my problems but I’m terrified of driving away the one close friend I do have
You can do it,you are beauthifull
My reccomendation would be to keep the boundary you have between you and that friend and enjoy fun time with them. They can’t solve your problems and probably can’t offer any solutions that you haven’t already heard. Appreciate that you have that friend to spend time with and have fun with.
Exactly same.
Wow this is such good advice! Talking about this topic is insanely hard, I am so glad resources like this video exist! Thank you!
WARNING!!! What she hasn't told you is this. If the US crisis line is same as Australia, if you admit to suicidal thoughts and speak freely to the call centre, even if you are not going to actively suicide but need to unburden your thoughts and what caused them (you often just want someone to understand what life factors are making you feel that way ie by talking through these events to a sympathetic listener often diffuses the intensity of the problem and then the suicidal thoughts lessen too. HOWEVER, all health professionals under law have a Duty of Care so IF this person on the phone doesn't know you and doesn't understand your situation and why you are so distressed, this invisible person after only minutes of listening can have your call traced and the police turn up banging on your door. The point is, of you ring, you are at the mercy of the competency of the one on the other end of the phone. And not all therapists get is let alone a phone counsellor with no background story.
So beware what you admit to and always visualise how this other person may perceive if there is danger or not. They will push the find and send authorities to cover their butt.
You should end up just needing someone to understand you and talk through the situation, to LISTEN non-judgementally! And before you know it, you are taken away by police to the mental lock up for evaluation which could take days in conditions that push you closer to the brink.
I know this to be true because I pinned them down one time and said your intro says our privacy is valued etc etc but eventually admitted that our calls are easily traced and they have the option to notify authorities if they are worried. Some inexperienced or inept person has the right to pass judgement on you even if they're WRONG.
Don't believe me?? Any free help call line even if it's not a suicidal help one always asks "do you have suicial thoughts? Are you alone" ? The min you admit to suicidal thoughts even if they were in the past ), the trace is activated (your cell phone number comes up automatically to see when you phone in) so things are ready if the talk goes south and "they" believe you might hurt yourself. Everything is also recorded "for training purposes" =BS
Yeah, convenient is that people never say about the dangers... They just want to lure you into a trap...
@rhonmc2782 Thank you very much for mentioning this extremely important issue and the helpline staff in Australia didn't used to ask about suicidal thoughts, which was the case when I did the counselling course.
They've obviously changed it though and it seems like they're not interested anymore if callers say that they're not suicidal, which doesn't seem right!
I realise that it's more of a crisis line nowadays though, whereas it was okay for people to ring to talk to a fellow empathetic human when feeling very lonely back in my day.
I informed some of the counsellors that I did attempt to take my life when I was about 15 years old due to extreme trauma issues. I won't act on any thoughts again though.
I've also explained that I've had thoughts (not now) since then, like most people these days, yet it means that I'm just in a lot of pain, then feel better after having a damn good cry!
I want to add that I was severely retraumatised from being taken to psychiatric wards while upset (not suicidal) a couple of times many years ago, for reasons I won't go into now.
In fact, I nearly lost my life the last time, hence why I prefer to stay away from the psychiatric system, especially since I'm not able to take any of the drugs because of my physical health conditions. ❤
@@cyndigooch1162 Hi Cyndi. I've just written a long reply to you but decided to delete. I need to go lay down.
I do have some positive free resource contacts I can give you that might prove useful. I find them helpful and real mental health facilitators who get you.
If you send me a reply to this, doesn't have to be a real one, just so youtube will send me your nomination again so I can send you those contacts. I am tech challenged and once I reply to you now, I won't be able to find you again. P.s. I have a similar backstory to you and totally get what you're saying. Hopefully these free contact resources I can pass on will help x
highly agreed 100%
Thank you for your words. I am crucified by my family for any emotion I share, or they notice. I am Bipolar, Have ADHD, complex trauma, 11 years sober, I believe undiagnosed autism, and I also have a TBI from an attack. I don't always have control and mask so much. I am always so exhausted. I am my fathers caregiver, and have a 15 yr old who shares a lot of the same diagnosis I do.
Usually the painful. all-consuming thoughts of just giving into the peace of not fighting anymore go away as fast as they come. But they just haven't, I've been avoiding the doctor because I know hospital will be the answer and I can't leave my family alone and have no help with them. And how can I get help with all my thoughts are the mess I just have waiting.
I really needed to hear I actually need help, I am not over exaggerating.
You have impact. Thank you again.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are so brave and inspirational. How are you doing these days? Happy Mother’s Day 🩷🩷🩷
Everytime I try to reach out to my family for help I get criticized for complaining about taking care of my aging mom with Dementia or my nonverbal brother with ASD. So even if I talk to a therapist it's not going to make things better. I'm still going to be overwhelmed. My ADD isn't going to go away things I need to take care of her just going to keep piling up. I never thought I would feel tempted before but now I can see why some people are.
I completely understand the stress that you’re under, and I’m so sorry you’ve been shamed and judged for sharing your troubles with others. No one should ever feel the way you’re feeling, ever. Will you tell me how you’re doing these days?
I am 10 and I’ve gone through a hard time and also I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and this video has helped me
Awwww honey. You are SO worth living. Please hold on. ❤
Yeah stay on the ride buddy it is worth it, sending you much love and light
Keep on keeping on ❤
@@JulianOrchardfanI’m not going to lie reading this made me cry, people like you are so sweet to us I’m 14 and life is very hard for me right now reading you’re comment was like a slap back to reality, and I just want you to know that that slap back, reading something so positive and encouraging broke down an emotional barrier of mine and gave me a good cry, so thank you I hope that you’re life is well and if it’s not I hope it gets better because you deserve it!
2:18 That quote is so powerful because it is pin point accurate.
First, a question: What about cases where someone has a painful, untreatable, terminal physical disease?
Second: The worst thing you can do when dealing with any mental health (or physical health) condition is to pretend you care about someone when you clearly don’t. This happened to me with a self-proclaimed suicide “expert” and I wound up having to give her therapy (which I am not qualified to do) when she called me in a panic because she thought I was suicidal (I wasn’t).
Suicide is best prevented by caring about someone years before and showing it, not faking concern for your own ego.
The only thing keeping me around rn is my dog, it just breaks my heart thinking about him just wondering where I am and confused why I haven’t came back yet
With me it was a cat. He's long gone now along with the few people I really loved like my mother and my girlfriend.
Please stay for your dog. He or she loves you.
Dont give up,you are beauthifull and smart
Literally me too. I fear for the cycle of life. He is literally the reason I’m here even after I moved out. I am genuinely scared for my mental health after. I hope I go before him
I struggle every day. The only thing keeping me here is knowing how much it would hurt my wife and my parents. I’d rather suffer than put them through that. I’m holding on for now. But the first chance I get to be a hero… I’m taking it 😞
I don’t have any friends I can confide in, so my therapist told me my homework is to try to make friends. But tbh, I don’t want or need them. Having friends (even nice, supportive friends) is exhausting. I’d rather just disappear. Not sure how talking to someone/getting support helps. The support doesn’t stop the ideation for me.
@@resurrectedreplayer6464 Yeah! Username is Bishini#0907
I know that you don't want to make friends by force but just remember that not all people are going to be mean to you or reject you and that it is possible to get friends, friends are kinda important. I also was having the same situation, I usually give up to socialize because I always think that people will not like me but now even though I get really anxious to socialize to new people, I say hi to people and now people are interested in me and want to listen to me.
@@javierpacheco8234 "and that it is possible to get friends" It really doesn't seem that way... How is it "possible" if you have no ways to do it?
Tell your therapist you found a friend. I can talk with you whenever you need.
@@mjblcmichael You are _so_ pretentious...
Finally a person that can explain this to me... Thank You
I honestly expected things to get better, but I’ve felt this way for 20 years and if anything I just regret not doing it sooner; I think of all the stuff I didn’t have to go through. And I’m terrified of what staying here for another 90 years would be like.
Study the Bible before you go
Ask God questions
@@yWPEX3rGjs I don’t know what that means
It's December 18th I'm about to be made homeless ( my landlord was illegally subletting ), I have no savings to move, no friends or family, Feel so alone and want to give up and die, but too scared to carry it out. What can I do? Society just seems selfish , uncaring and only want money.
Oh Mark, I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds just terrible. No one should ever ever go through this or feel this way. I completely understand your pain. I wish I had helpful words or resources to offer. Please tell me how you’ve been doing since you posted this? You’ve got my support friend
when i see you how much effort u put in this video it gives life meaning ❤
With the belief that you are a burden on people that are close to you.
With the feeling of despair and emptiness.
With the intollerable mental pain that i live with
I feel it would be better for all of us if i wasnt around. I would finally be at peace and the mental pain would be gone. People close to me wouldnt be burdened and would be free to live freely.
This is how i feel. Even though there are alot of people around me, i feel so alone.
Your video brought tears to my eyes.
I lost the love of my life, who I met shortly after my wife filed for divorce, because I left where she was living to get treatment for Intrusive suicidal thoughts back at home, where I could get the meds and therapy I needed. So now I have lost my wife and home and pets, the girl I love and I have two friends left. I am sleeping on a sofa in my parents bedroom, they have moved to the living room, hundreds of miles from my two friends (but they also caused me loads of trauma as a kid). So living really feels pointless and I'm in so much pain.
:(
Thanks so much for sharing your story and feelings, friend. I’m so so sorry you’re going through what you are. It must feel incredibly lonely, hopeless and burdensome. I’ve been there, I completely understand, and I am with you in your pain. I’m so glad you posted this. Will you tell me how you’ve been doing lately? I’d really love to know
Thank you so much for making this video! This is the first video about suicide that actually made me feel seen. I’ve been struggling with passive and active suicidal thoughts for a while now and I really don’t know what to do anymore. I think about taking my life at least once a day and even started doing research on methods and all that. The problem is that it’s really, like really hard for me to open up and to talk about my problems. I’m scared that I might end up being a burden, that they would start treating me differently or that they wouldn’t believe me. I’m also still really young, which makes it even harder for me, to reach out for help on my own. One day I decided to call a hotline. I tried calling there 5 times and no one picked up. Then finally, the 6th time I called, someone picked up. I was ready to talk, I even had the words laid out in my head, but as soon as it was my turn to speak, anxiety overcame me and I immediately hung up. I do have some save persons like my mom but she’s incredibly selfish when it’s about topics like that. I tried telling her several times about how I feel (without mentioning suicide though) and how I wanted professional help, but she for some reason always blocks the topic and says that she doesn’t want me to have therapy because it would make her feel like a bad mother, because it’s expensive, because she has bad experiences and so on and so on. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Everything seems hopeless. It got to a point where I think, that not even a therapy or a hospital would help anymore. I’d love to hear your guys opinion and maybe even some advice on this.
I understand your feelings. Every time I have a suicidal “event’ my family just ‘disappears’…they don’t want to deal with it. If I manage to help myself or get help without them, they always say something lame and stupid afterwards, like, “Oh we thought you were depressed. Yep…” I always just look and them and think, “Oh. Well, thanks for your help. You concern. Your hug. Your listening to me. Oh, wait. You didn’t actually help me at all did you?” If your family is like mine, I would suggest finding a smart and caring Pastor to talk to. They do exist. Sometimes what they provide is simply a listening ear, but that’s a lot these days. If you’re worried ask around - just say you’re looking for a good, caring pastor to speak to. Don’t share why unless you truly trust who you’re talking to. Keep personal info to yourself unless you want to be admitted into a hospital. Pastors and therapists are not supposed to share your info with anyone. Another weird thing I do is read. Not just anything. I read books about people I admire, fictional books like The Hunger Games Trilogy, where there’s a protagonist who is a realist, but brave. I get inspired to find a way to keep going through stories like that. Once, I read the Hunger Games three times in a row because that’s how much I needed it, but it still worked ‘cause I’m still here. Sometimes imagining yourself as an overcomer can help you become one. I also memorize scripture. I’m a singer/songwriter, so music moves me more than the spoken word. I will sing certain scripture out loud to myself, to remind myself that history is full of hurting people like me who made it through. I’ve created playlists of songs that inspire, cajole, impel and encourage me that I can keep going. I will walk around my neighborhood listening to this playlist for courage and strength. It helps me. Try to remember that you are not alone. There are tons of people who feel just like you do. The Bible tells us that, “We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses that have gone before us.” If they can, we can too. I want you to know that even as I write this, I am going through a Depressive episode. Which leads me to my last piece of advice: Turn outward. Help someone else. Help in a food kitchen. Visit a hospital. Help an elderly relative. Cook a meal for a struggling family. Helping others and focusing outward will help you! God bless you, my friend.
@christinamorris1594 you are the first person in all the comments that I have read who offers the advice of turning outwards and that is so very helpful. Helping others takes one's mind off themselves for a while, long enough to realize that life isn't necessarily all about themselves but about interacting with others as well. It's a two way street. Reaching out to help someone else makes you feel better about yourself which is uplifting and benefit to the heart and soul as well as the ego. If one is totally deflated, like I feel, being of service to someone else could make all the difference in the world as far as one's outlook on life is concerned. I have been so self-absorbed with my own painful feelings surrounding my life that I never thought about reaching out to help someone else and, in some small way, elevating their life in some manner. So, because of your unique comment, my mind has now somewhat shifted from myself to looking for a way to help someone else. Your comment may very well have benefitted me tremendously. It is truly remarkable how reading or hearing another person's thought on a subject can partially, or even completely, change the direction of another's thinking. I have been passively thinking about suicide for quite some time now but I also realize that I am in a clinical depression that I have not addressed with any professional. I do have an appointment with a therapist in 5 days though. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for turning my attention from myself to another person or persons. ❤
Thank you so much for this video. I appreciate so much that you care about others struggling with suicidal ideations.
I have these random episodes of anxiety where I start obsessing about killing myself, feel so depressed, tired, hopeless, and can't control the urge to hurt myself. It's gotten gradually worse throughout the years and these last 4 years have been hell. I have an attempt, fail, and as soon as I get better, I start planning my next attempt. I don't know how many attempts I've had through the years. I can't help these nagging thoughts or make them go away. It's like a constant itch that won't go away. And after 15 years, my parents still don't know, to them, its the stress of school and being overworked. It also doesn't help that my family does not know how to communicate through tough situations. I don't know how much longer I can keep it a secret because at times it literally feels like I'm going insane. I feel worthlessness, shame, guilt, and just want to die.
Sounds like me. I'm having those thoughts and I've been hiding my thoughts from everyone.
My cousin son committed suicide 3 years ago.. he didn’t realize his son is depressed cause he was hiding from family so well till 2 months before the death. My cousin tried to taking him to the specialist but he didn’t want. The family is devastated
Hey thank you for making this video! I have experienced a lot of suicidal ideation at different times in my life and am now very supportive of normalizing taking honestly about these things because the shame/stigma made it so much harder to work through. That said, I actually had a huge breakthrough in acceptance of those thoughts and myself and am in a MUCH much better place now. It took time, but I have learned and am still learning to express my emotions (even just to myself) so the pain doesn’t build up, and I have also managed to change my mindset around so many things. It took time, and to be honest I largely did it on my own (or, at least, I didn’t tell most people in my life directly about my thoughts) but it IS possible to move past this and it IS worth it. That said, I have no judgment for anyone who is or who has even been there. I do get it. And I hope it becomes easier for all of us to be honest about these things the more people who are open to having conversations like this. Thank you!
You are so calm when you speak it's making me less anxious
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and spoken word performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
My dad, his sister, their dad, my sister. When I over did it at my job I hit the grey zone for 2 weeks. After 7 doctors got the right one. Almost 20 years now and I think every day how. But I promised my kids. Its not a wonderful life.
Listening to the video helped distract me a little which helped me shed unwanted time that I have which got me closer to the end which is my goal. My number 1 goal is to get through my life as fast as possible. Paying a qualified person 300 a month to listen to me is no help just a ball ache and pocket drainer
I tried the hospital psychiatric ward where I live when my bf died suddenly and unexpectedly in Oct 22. It was a nightmare. I have a therapist, but I feel she can only help so much. I do not have any friends or family that are close and can be depended upon. My suicidality results from CPTSD. I wish I could have more help. I've accepted being alone. I have also been dealing with chronic pain since March '22 and cannot get a diagnosis even though I"ve been to dozens of appointments and several doctors. More than I can take. My ideation started with my first suicide attempt at 12yo. Ugh.
To everyone in the comments of this video:
I don’t know what you’re going through. I don’t know what kind of problems (mental, phyisical, emotional, financial) you’re experiencing. I know only this: I'm glad you're all here. Please don’t hurt yourselves. You are worth so much more than you think you are. You are not a burden. Your pain is real and valid and nobody has the right to tell you that you're selfish or awful for feeling this way. I live with these thoughts every day. And yeah, we are small, insignificant, immaterial aspects of the universe and we are all going to die one day. It’s true, nothing matters.
And that's why EVERYTHING matters.
THAT’S WHY *YOU* MATTER. You being here is a one in a million shot, as likely as two bullets striking each other head on. You’re something in a universe full of nothing. You are breathing existing life in a place that is so much bigger and fantastical than you know.
That’s why I don’t want you to go. That’s why I want you here. Because there would be so much that you would miss out on. Because as you fade, the first thing your mind would think is "This hurts. I don’t want to die." Because I would miss you, even though I've never met you. Because there are so many new books to read, movies to watch, plans to make, pages to write on, nature to experience, and sunrises to watch and feel. I want you to feel the rain on your faces, to feel the wind on your cheeks. You deserve that. You deserve all the love in the world. You deserve to experience everything that is you, even if it is painful or scary to face. You deserve to be here, to exist. And I don’t want to lose you to something you can't change your mind about tomorrow. Please...even if it's just for me, some person on the internet you don’t even know, or even if It’s for yourself, please stay. Live out of spite if you have to. Please...just live. 💜
"Please...just live." _Not_ worth it... And pure non-stop suffering isn't "living" either way. "You’re something in a universe full of nothing." No... You're _nothing,_ in a universe full of nothing, that came out of nothing and will go back to nothing. Without any difference whether you ever were here or not... "Please don’t hurt yourselves" You are hurting yourself _more_ by staying "alive" at all.
"You're worth much more than you think you are"
Prove it!
@@costelinha1867 _Exactly..._
TW: This contains harm and suicidal stuff..
Here I am, My first "suicidal" time, 5th grade..I was scared for 5th grade at first, but was not expecting the pain and help of it, I first showed signs when I would write notes to myself in my personal notebook, now, usually my teachers (or even my school threapist) don't look at my notebook, the 2nd week of it I wrote "Roses are red, Violets are blue, Death is the best thing" and my therapist looked inside my notebook, she tried to talk to me, I told her "I'm fine" when going home that night, I would start to get worse and worse, I went to school the next day, tried talking to my friend, all they did was tell me I should, it causes me to be a "insane" person, I would go home that night, tell my friend online I was done. She ended up calling the cops on me, (good for her) I went to a hospital and was put on medicine (not admitted)
6th grade was pain, That was the first time I tried, I held myself under a pool, trying to drown, it didn't work (as expected), I tried a few months later by overdosing, and it didn't work...I was straight up scared. And I made a plan over and over again. I was talking to my therapist (I have one online) and I decided to attempt with a knife, and it failed, I was admitted for 3 weeks for suicidal ideations and attempting.
I love life, but sometimes it is hard, this story is dumb, and I doubt anyone even cares about my thoughts or story, but I'm writing this for some reason.
Edit: I am kinda mad I made this.
I'm sorry to hear that life has been so hard on you... it has been for me as well. I see your story and wish you the best
I read your story, and it definitely wasn’t dumb… thank you for sharing it. I’m so sorry that this all started at such a young age for you. I hope that some things have changed for the better.
Thank you so much for sharing your story and experiences with us, friend 🩷 Life’s tribulations can be absolutely unbearable at times, and your feelings are so so valid. I’m sorry you never got the support you wanted or needed. No one should feel unsupported, alone, isolated or hopeless like this, and I’m sorry that you have felt it all. I completely understand, and I’m so glad someone else out there understands too. How have you been since you posted this?
00:00 Introduction
02:09 Quote about suicide
03:36 What are suicidal ideations?
07:05 Difference between intrusive suicidal thoughts and suicidal ideation?
08:14 When to seek help for suicidal thoughts
08:51 Will I be hospitalized if I tell my therapist about my thoughts?
10:57 How to tell someone about your suicidal thoughts
13:08 How to support someone that's suicidal
14:53 How do I help myself if I am suicidal
17:41 National Suicide Emergency line
Suicide awareness is really important, people often forget that its always an option!
thank you so much for making this video! Although we are really making huge progress in understanding mental health and welcoming it to the conversation, suicide really is taboo still…it makes us feel lonely, isolated and scared, it makes us feel like we’re freaks and we really have no where to turn to even though we want to…we often tell our therapists everything, but that because we are so afraid and ashamed…talking about it really helps and I cannot tell you how grateful I am to you for making this video!
(I am doing very good rn, just so nobody worries)
I’m so glad ❤️❤️❤️
It doesn't get better, depression always triumphs in the end. Good luck people.
In many cases it can get better, I think it's important to share a positive message at times, as others come here in crisis looking for comfort.
Life is tragic, for sure, but for some, they find peace in the here and now.
It's just really hard at times, and when in crisis, we can see no light.
@@JB.zero.zero.1 "In many cases it can get better" _Bullshit..._
@@JB.zero.zero.1 I wish I could believe this.
@@JB.zero.zero.1 Yeah stuff like this only makes it feel more negative, but i do not blame the OP. They seem to be suffering through a lot.
Thank you for this video Micheline :)
In the UK there is no help for suicidal thoughts. No one cares about anyone here anymore. Over the past 50 years I have had passive thoughts and active experiences and have tried to end my life 24 times. On each of those occasions I never told anyone what I was going to do, no one knew. I did find talking to someone who didn't judge really helped and often made me change how I felt. Suicide is a final resort to severe despair. Knowing you may die in a few minutes is terrifying it certainly isn't a nice place to be but it's sometimes the only option you have. Be kind, always.
I been dealing with sucide thoughts for about 19 years of my life. Early in my 20s tried three different times . But failed each time . Now be 40 years old. My sucide thoughts all stronger than ever . Believe if I try agian which is a real possibility . I will succeed this time .
@kennyjdm4912 I just read your comment and really hope you haven't acted on your thoughts again! I also hope this helpful video, as well as other ones, by caring people, have assisted in some way.
It seems to me that you've experienced trauma in your childhood and/or teenage years, which usually causes immense pain.
Do you ever cry? I realise that it sounds simplistic, yet it's incredible how the pain and thoughts often abate after doing so. I'm aware that situations are often more complex though. ❤
Hey Kenny, I’m so glad you shared your feelings on here. It helps me to know that others out there feel the way I do. I’m so sorry you’re struggling the way you are. No one deserves to feel so alone and helpless. I am with you in your pain, and I’d love to know how you’ve been doing lately. You have my support 🩷
i think i'm once again closing in on my breaking point, and having no one to reach out to just kind of makes it worse.
Hey friend how are you? Are you ok? I can totally relate to what you are saying I feel the same way every day. Please stay and keep breathing. Sending LOVE
You matter.
Same.
Please reply I want to help,you Can talk to me abt it if you want
Are you okay??
I cry myself to sleep every day.😢
I am with you in your pain and sorrow, I’m so sorry you’re going through what you’re going through. How have you been doing lately?
Are thoughts like “I wonder how this person would react if I died” or “I wonder if people would care” and decreased fear to dangerous situations or threats (like death threats, speeding in a car, and being on a steep mountain side) considered suicidal ideation? I deal with thoughts like these every day and while they don’t control what I’m doing, it’s often what I’m thinking about it a quiet room or looking out a car window. These thoughts often appear when something minimal happens (like a spark to dynamite). For example, getting a less than stellar grade on a test, a friend or family member being angry with you, having to wake up for school the next day.
At the time of writing this comment, I’m at 5:27 in the video so I might be missing a few things but I’m just curious. ❤
I've struggled a lot over the years with my mental health. I've been hospitalized involuntarily at least 4 times, each time leaving more traumatized than the last. I am going to enter a partial hospitalization program next week which I've never done before. I just wanted to say it's so hard to get through mental health crisis and challenges. Giving you all a warm hug and hoping you get through it.
I've posted on a previous video about this, but thank you for guidance and insite🙏 And yes you may have saved my life not just today but ongoing.
I know that if I kill myself my family will be very upset, but while I am alive my depression is upsetting them anyway so I dont know what to do ?. I cant seem to let go of the past. I even have dreams about it. I can relate to this video.
Hey Pete, thanks so much for sharing your feelings. I’m so glad I’m not alone, it really helps me to know someone out there understands. I know exactly how you feel, and I’m sorry you’re going through what you’re going through. How have you been doing lately?
Your voice is calming .