Death and grief - The stories of a companion for the dying | DW Documentary
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- Опубліковано 24 чер 2023
- Johanna Klug, 27, works as a companion for the dying. Dealing with death has had a positive influence on her life. The film accompanies her as she moves between her work and her everyday life as a fun-loving young adult in Berlin.
Johanna Klug is in the middle of her doctoral thesis on "Patient autonomy in terminally ill children" and has just published her second non-fiction book. At the age of 20, she began spending time with people in the final months of their lives. "Since then, the topics of dying, death and mourning have never left me," says Johanna. "It was the need for direct, sincere and genuine encounters with people." She finds this intensity in her hospice work, where she spends time with, among others, an old woman and a young woman with a heart condition. She also finds it during outings with a girl who is mourning her deceased sister, as well as when she goes out partying with her friends.
#documentary #dwdocumentary #death
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Jumping in puddles, hugging trees, screaming loud, playing in the rain... I've encouraged all these things to my kids and grandkids❤ Enjoy the life you have. There are no guarantees for tomorrow. Love, laugh, be sad... it's all a part of this amazing experience we have for such a short time.
✌️❤️😊
OMG This connection is so needed. We ARE all headed that way with an expiration date!
If you family you don’t need a radical looking bald headed woman stranger to be at your bedside.
Ugh horrible thought
@@K-a-n-d-i-s but real
@@n3493 that's exactly why haha no escaping it, the inevitable. The realness of it
Nope not me, i have these exemption papers you see 😂
Hospice nurse here.
This is what a lot of us are fighting for to become the norm. Generally, in Canada and the US (at least that's where I'm most familiar with), death has become taboo to talk or even think about. People who allow themselves to think, talk and grieve about death have a much smoother transition into death. We use the phrase, "Normalize death, or die trying."
It’s amazing that the two things that we share as humans are not equally and openly spoken about. For someone like me who has lost many love ones starting at seven years old, I’m 66 now, I have found myself to be one of the few people my friends say they can talk about deathless because I’ve had so much experience. I have no fear at all. I’ve had profound experiences that are proven to me that this is not all there is and I’m not talking about the man-made construct of heaven. My heart breaks for those that fear death because you rob yourself of life while you are alive.
Could you tell me what your patients see?
@@ChocoMogu15 It's hard to say. We don't resuscitate people in hospice, but I can give you a rough idea of what we can observe once the body begins shutting down.
Generally, we see all the body functions shut down, one by one, until the person drifts off to sleep.
It often begins by the person becoming weaker over time, eventually unable to get up and then unable to eat and drink. At end of life the body doesn't need more energy or hydration as it prepares to shut down, so digestion, hunger and thirst will usually slow and then stop. For comfort, we'll provide moistened mouth swabs to keep the mouth from drying out too much as well something to moisturize the lips.
At around the same time, the less important organs will stop functioning, urine will slow and become more concentrated as the kidneys intake and output less. The skin may become drier so we work to keep their body's clean and well moisturized for comfort.
We'll see the body no longer needing to provide nutirents to the extremities, so the hands and feet will likely begin to cool and may change colour as the heart is no longer pumping as forcefully to the farthest areas. Along with this we'll feel the pulse becoming weaker and breathing patterns will change.
Eventually, breathing and the heart will stop, and they'll drift off to sleep.
During all of this we'll be providing medications or other interventions to treat any signs of anxiety, pain, constipation, fever, excess secretions, fluid buildup, skin breakdown or anything else that may be distressing for the person or their family. This is done in conjunction with the person's end of life wishes for treatment and the family's wishes as well. My job is to recognize any of these signs and to provide the necessary interventions in order to keep the person as comfortable as possible.
Keep in mind that there are many different factors involved and not every person will go through the same sequence of events in the same order, but that's generally what it's like where I am in Canada.
We try to do whatever we can to bring comfort and provide a good death. We or the family may bring in their favourite music or we'll play soft relaxing music. We'll use soft lighting when possible. We'll be repositioning frequently with lots of pillows in order to keep the body aligned properly also helping to avoid bed sores and stiffness from being in the same position for too long. Family and loved ones are often visiting when the patient desires. This includes pets.
The biggest thing though is that we try to take the time to find out what the patient wants and needs. We don't rush. We take our time with meals, dressing and bathing to provide a more open and intimate relationship which hopefully allows the person to express those needs, desires, fears, concerns, etc. and we work as a team with the family and our health team (including doctors, social workers, religious leaders, alternative medicine practitioners, pet therapists, etc.) to provide what we can.
I love this job because it feels like we're actually able to provide comfort and care at an uncertain and sometimes scary time. I just wish more people knew what to expect, because when you know what's coming, it's much easier to have a good death.
@@werbnaright5012 What a thoughtful and in-depth reply. Refreshing to see/hear/read humans being human (like, the good face of "human"), especially when there's "nothing to gain" from taking your time to respond as such. Just giving credit where it's due. And, btw, my father passed in hospice a few years ago, in the States, and this is spot-on what his final days were like. Keep up the great work!
Johanna Klug (works as a companion for the dying): Life is so precious and we only get one. Even if you know that it could all be over soon, you should still make every moment an unforgettable one. 14:45
You're a beautiful, brilliant, old soul. ❤️ You ate beyond your years of maturity. You understand life better than some who's lived a century. Bless you sweet Lady xo 🤗
That was really beautiful thank you.
I'm from Nigeria (Africa), family ties do exist and people most especially the old remain with their families till they pass away.
I wanted to do this as a volunteer so badly, for months I've submitted applications to be a hospice companion and never got a call or an email. Literally FREE, I am 23 with a career in medicine (pharmacy specifically), cna experience, fit and healthy, upbeat, I can play the guitar, sing, play chess, draw, listen etc. And yet I'm passed up each time.
I hope you are one day able to do this !!
I volunteered at a hospice 20+ years ago in Florida. There was long and intensive volunteer training class you had to attend. It was 2 nights a week for a couple months. Now I am in a rural area of Virginia and am having the same problem as you, with the local hospice here. I have called, emailed, filled out their online volunteer application, and nothing. No one ever gets back to me and I literally have experience. You should look into being a death doula. Even better than being a hospice volunteer. If this is what you are called to do, find a way.
Keep trying, love. You have so much to offer! ❤️ these people need you! Veteran nurse of 16 years, in palliative care. ❤
Nice documentary somehow peaceful
My bf and I went to Mexico in 2017 for a month. We did Ibogaine, smoked toad and did 3 nights of ayahuasca. He said when we was on toad he was kind of floating through the universe and he saw how everything in the world and everyone is connected. He said there wasn't a god but there was something to do with energy where we kind of go somewhere when we die. Our energy does. He woke up with tears in his eyes which is bizarre bc he's so not like that. He is not a hippie dippie kind of person at all but this experience really was a spiritual one. It gives me hope that one day we will be with our loved ones again
Interesting perspective 😊
In the West, there's a growing number of dying people without loved ones or without a family member willing to be their companion during their last days... Where can Western societies find "mature" companions willing to play such a role and who can therefore help the dying face one of the harshest experiences ever, namely passing away. Of course, nurses can't fulfill such a task and many of them become over time more and more indifferent to the physical and psychological pain of patients. The collapse of the family and family ties in the West and in many countries means that many of us will have no real companion during the last moments of our existence on earth.
Family ties and joint families must be resurrected
I happen to be one of those people. Luckily I don’t fear death but after experiencing my grandmother dying in my arms for hours it does make me a little sad that I will probably go out alone.
I feel for everyone that does not have a supportive family or a loving companion or a caring child or a true friend.
I’m 66 years old and it wasn’t like this when I grew up. It wasn’t that long ago.
And when inheritance papers came in, they all be hurrying to attend the meeting 😂😂😂
@@ChooseCompassionI wish I die young so I don’t have to experience the loneliness and sadness of dying alone of old age.. I will never have my own family and I don’t like children… 😅
Islaam, helped me greatly to accept it. Considering the fact that ny best freind and my father died infront of me, which was traumatising that i never seen a dieng person before, so I kept on repeating: For Allaah is what he gave, and for Allaah is what he took. So i instead thanked almighty Allaah for giving me parents, from the first place, i had to grateful, for all the years we spent together.
If it’s so helpful why don’t you live in a Muslim country?
@@Cactus_hug I already live in a Muslim country. Alhamdulillaah.
I wish you all blessings. We are lucky if we have people we love in our lives, and who return that love. Love doesn't end with death, and as you say; we should be always grateful for the time we have with these people - even if we lose them in this life. I believe we will see each other again. :)
@@Cactus_hug why even say that?
Beautiful
None of us knows the number of our days
Where can I watch the original German version of the documentary? Thanks in advance for your help.
Good one
The long black shroud of death encompasses us all
When my Dada was in hospice, I felt at presences hovering at the foot of his bed. I looked up but could not see anyone. So I looked over at my Dada and knew he was seeing the presence I felt. I asked him who he was looking at. He just pointed and said her. I never got an answer from him because I had to find the answer in my own heart. It took my heart desiring truth in self and creator to see the light. The light came testing my vanity and it was my own Mama I seen the light in, whose spirit is solid black, light does not penetrate. Before my Dada passed on, I witnessed him humble himself before Mama's spirit he spent denying he came from in his own Mama he beat. He denied he created in, my Mama he beat. He denied I was he beat , because of the teachings of MAn in the begining of Mama's name. My Dada has been forgive in Mama but MAn has his judgement coming for him.
"Baba black sheep have you any wool?" baba is dada born of his mama's wawa. Not born MAn to the womb of MAn , woMAN the trans. The SON of MAn they war over. Lambs slaying lambs, for the goat in the bringing of Mama's name, MAn. That is why judgement is coming for Mankind.
What's the title of the song?
13:13 que cancion es esa
How do you enjoy life, if you feel alive only when risking loosing it?
What is the song used in this documentary? The one that she sings at 13:17 and that can also be heard at the start and end of the film?
I'm also curious to know as nothing came up in the search results for the lyrics
@@gem5569 I know, I googled the lyrics as well. It is very strange and sad :(
@@Eikenhorst : you discover the name of the song of she's singing
I finding, just put her name and it will appear
❤
I think they copied that last scene from ffx in that scene with Titus and Yuna
When you die, all of your deepest, darkest secrets will be revealed. Don't believe that no one will ever know.
I've buried too many, to be surprised or shocked anymore but, I am.
How so?
@@oneshothunter9877Near-death experience
It was a super wonderful documentary video shared by an excellent 👍🏻🤍( DW )🤍🙏documentary channel ....thank you for sharing....I see she is diving in kindness oceans, beneath humanitarian current... nicely stepping to Ward's individuals. They need mercy and conscience backing 20:42
Thank you for watching. :)
❤❤❤
If you had family you wouldn’t need a stranger to be your companion in death.
You seem to be saying, "If you don't have a family, you deserve to die alone and in painful misery."
You should go to an assisted living facility and spread your reassuring message to the elderly. 😐
Your whole family can die before you. Never heard of 5-10 family members dying at once?
Not necessarily. Sometimes families are broken and a person is left alone.
@@TheStockwell Good comment. We all die alone whether or not we have family.
@@eddenoy321
We all agree, I guess, that dying among one's loved ones gives more fortitude to face death... And family members benefit a lot from such an experience that allows them to see and witness to which extent life is fragile an fugacious.
Fia the deathbed companion irl
When your brain rots that's it, the end. Complete nothingness . Just like before you were born.
If there is an omnipotent being that controls things my first question to it would be, why do you allow little kids to die of cancer and be torn away from their parents? No loving being would do that. Remember, in relation to the Abrahamic God, he can perform miracles.
You might want to consider researching Buddhism, Kabbalah, or any other “religion“ that explains your question and the reality of reincarnation. ❤
Basically the human being has free will, the consciousnesses (souls) chose to come to earth to experiment and perhaps you should no longer inform yourself better before taking out gods created by humanity.
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Jesus Christ saves 🙏🏻✝️☺️🕊
He did not save himself until he saved others
Go back to your one God who has no partner
@@mohamedmnissar238 He didn’t save himself He sacrificed himself to pay for our sins, because God still loved us even though we are sinners.
@@SunnyLovetts It is not logical for anyone to pay for the mistakes of others, each soul is responsible for itself only.
There is no God but Allah, Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah And Jesus is a slaves of God and His Messenger
He's a fictional character of a non compelling book.
Doesn't help those who believe in Buddha, the Hindu Gods or muhammed. And you just may be wrong.
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Beautiful