As "Living Old" becomes newly available on our channel, America’s geriatric population is still growing and still facing many of the same challenges. READ MORE: www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/aging-living-old-geriatrician-shortage/
Please humans should stop having kids no matter what. Our potential offsprings deserve better than this life. Nobody deserve to suffer like this worse than any injustices ❤ as the solar system age, the planet ages, even if humans keep passing seeds onto consequent generations the quality of life is degrading with technology emissions, radiation etc.
This is a horrific video of some deviant monsters implying that we should annihilate old people in the disguise to spare them from their suffering, when in fact to get rid of their burden.
When Maggie (my 14 year old dog a rescue raised from a pup) I plan to hit the animal shelter and hopefully find a middle age or older dog. I've rescued a few of them that the owners passed or went to nursing homes. Maybe they rescued me?
My mother is 93 .I'm taking care of her in her own home.Shes a great mother and human being.She took great care of me and now I take care of her.Full circle.
I was a full-time caregiver for my mom for 7 years. She passed at home with me holding her hand. The last year or so was a long and difficult time, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. She was the most caring, generous, giving person I've ever known. I miss her dearly. God bless you and your mother. Enjoy every day and have meaningful conversations with her as long as you're able to.
To every "young" person watching this video, please appreciate every moment of your life ... appreciate your vision, hearing, sense of taste and touch. Appreciate the ability to use your limbs effectively. Avoid excessive indulgences in your youth that can impact the quality of life in the twilight years! @Frontline PBS, thanks for calling our attention to our collective plight!
Agreed! And I always tell people to resolve old arguments with your parents (and others) and spend all the best time you can with them. Cherish them. Though of course some parents and children are not great people. Overall we often lose our parents far too soon and have regrets and rue the lost time and memories we could have had. Many arguments that seemed important seem petty and worthless after it's too late.
My 94 year old father lived at home and got to die,probably from a stroke, in front of his TV watching Judge Judy. My brother found him soon after he died because he was still a little warm and his coffee was hot. Good for you Dad.
My Grandfather passed away almost the same way! Feet up on the ottoman watching CNN. When I was in his apartment to clean up everything days later, I turned on the stereo and "I will leave you softly" by Frank Sinatra started to play. I sat down and cried my eyes out!
My 89-year-old aunt lived a full, rich life. She survived a heart attack, a stroke, diabetes and was mentally sharp until the end. She decided to check out and entered hospice when a string of painful chronic conditions sapped the joy out of life...stopped taking her meds, said her goodbyes to loved ones, and peacefully drifted off in her sleep. She was a strong woman who took control of her life and her death.
@@marciastewart1527my favorite lady is 100, she'll be 101 in April, and she still has her mind, play cards, love music, she participates in every activity at the asisted living she is at, I worked there for 15 years, I recently retired and I am still in touch with her, 89 is still young she would say, blessings to you ❤️
I'm in my 80s and think we need to reassess aging with dignity options. When I can no longer prepare the food I like to eat, take walks, and continue to write, I'm out of here! Thank God for Fentanyl. A voluntary overdose should be easy to obtain. We're old, trust us to make wise decisions! Goodnight Moon...
One of the biggest shocks to me as I aged poorly, was deciding if I could get another pet, wondering if he would outlive me, and how to assure his continued good care if I pass before him. It really brought home mortality to me.
I love my little schnauzer at 74 years old and I honestly don't think I can go on if she dies. Then.... I'd be doing the same math as you "Hmmmm.... How many more years of independence with a new friend?" Or, maybe we should focus on rescuing aging older dogs who will pass with us?
@@kippywylie I rescued a young dog because he was going to be euthanized. I figured that even if the very worst happened, he would have more years than if I had left him. There are also rescue organizations that will help find your dog a home if you predecease them. You can have an agreement with them that they will care for your dog when you can't. So don't give up on having another dog. You just have to do your research about how they will be cared for after you are gone.
The fact that we get free documentaries on UA-cam by FRONTLINE PBS is truly a gift. 👏👏👏 May I also remind you the fact that our Native American population in our motherland, the Continent of America before the European Colonizers arrived, was around 15 millions, while the European population in their motherland, the Continent of Europe was around 25 millions. Today, Native American population is 15 million, while the European population, in the Continents of America + Europe, is a staggering TWO BILLION! A shocking sad truth. 😔 In my humble opinion, it's about time to decolonize the Colonized lands, and return it to rightful owners Native American people. Notorious global cardinal crimes the Christian West has committed, and benefited a great deals, such as Slavery & Colonialism had long been over, why on earth is notorious Colonization still lingering on, may I ask? 😔🤷
@@jdenino6022 End of life has stayed pretty much the same. If they made it today there might be more of a discussion of euthanasia as an option, but on the whole it holds up wonderfully.
@@aprilmay1700 Sure, but I object to these outfits continuing to be making money on works by long dead music composers, artists, writers, and movies that are from the 1940s and 1950s that long ago paid for themselves and made a huge profit
This triggered so many emotional memories. I was very fortunate to care full time for my 103 year old father at my childhood home. He had all his mental and physical ability so it was not a mental and physical drain for me. The last three months he knew it was time but it was hard for me to accept. My parents loved me so much I always knew I would be the sibling to be his full time caretaker. I seen my selfish friends put their parents in nursing homes and walk away. This was something I adamantly refused to do. The one of the most beautiful thing in life for me was the metamorphosis of son becoming the parent and father the son and seeing his soul passing to heaven to be with my mother.
God Speed... Happy you appreciated, had that time.... Those that don't often are either fearful or not really in good relationships with their families!
My grandmother was a hospice nurse and my dad a nurse turned funeral director. They both have said, “When it comes to end of life..there are worse things than death.”
My father is a doctor. That is the reason he knew to put my mother on hospice rather than have surgery on her broken hip. She was already very diminished by Alzheimer's and was not a good candidate for rehab. Sometimes, the best choice is to let nature take its course. Quality of life matters more than length of life.
My grandmother died a few months ago at only 80 and I feel robbed of the additional three, five, eight potential years ahead of them. I'm sorry for your loss.
I disagree with your last statement in that it should be up to the individual assuming they have capacity to make that sort of decision. I'm not going to tell a family member no, you're not going to get a procedure just because I think that it won't go well. Now it's a different situation, if the person doesn't have the capacity to make the decision. This is why we have HC POAs. But no I'm never going to tell my family that they can't have a procedure done. Sorry its their choice.
@@FLUFFYCAT_PNW Yes, caregivers too. I count caregivers as nurses. Even if they are family members who take care of a person, they are performing a nurse’s job.
Beware! Not all caregivers even nurses would handle your old folks with care. Once you delivered them in nursing home, you don’t know what they are going thru in the hands of those so called caregivers! So many unreported cases of abuse in nursing homes.@@zakatista5246
I'm gonna have to stop you there. What is youth if you're always plagued by acne? Depression? And to top it off, what is youth if you live in a world plagued by technology which in turn is worse when it comes to socialization? I try to be optimistic but all this shit eventually gets to you.
@@laprechaun12maybe you would understand more if you volunteer helping an elderly relative or neighbour twice a month. It may help you with your depression.
@@laprechaun12 Put your phone down. Go outside, go visit an elderly neighbor and volunteer to help them mow their lawn, clean their house. Just get away from the technology. As far as acne goes, quit sugar and fried foods, and possibly even all dairy. My son at 16 quit dairy and his bad acne went away.
What if I only want to travel the United States and not see the world. We have the internet to see the world now. If I go out of the country, It will be to go live in Spain. But there really is no excuse for the elderly to complain. If they are suffering, it's because they didn't take preventative measures.
My great aunt turned 92 in January and the crazy part is, she doesn’t look 92, she’s not senile, she’s attentive, lucid, walks with ease, doesn’t need or use a cane, wheelchair, or a walker, and has a decent memory, the only health problems she’s experiencing are problems with her digestive system. She’s outlived her husband (my great uncle) who passed away in Dec 2019 at 91 bc of old age and she is a living example that you can still be active into your 80s and 90s. God bless her!
My 93 year old mother is active, works part time, looks much younger, does aerobics and kick boxing. Lives alone with no assistance..old age is not the same for all people.
I was a nurse for over 40 yrs where the majority of our patients were geriatric …..the horrible situations I witnessed because relatives were not ready for them to go was depressing……their long chronic illnesses had put them in a very sad state yet the relatives wanted more done …easy to say when ur not the one suffering day after day …..the greatest love is to let them go when God is calling
Nurses aid in assistant living Oldest person I take care of is receiving physical therapy to get her strength back to be able to walk again she is 107 absolutely ridiculous family took her off hospice. Death has no mercy on elderly with good insurance.
I think it needs to be up to the elderly person if they want to live. My mom wanted to live everyday of her life even in the circumstances you mentioned.
I've lived through all of this with my mom who passed at 93.5 years old. It reaches a point where the person is existing not living. There is no recovery. No cure for chronic conditions. But its a time to say goodbye, to have last moments, last photos, last videos. Time for everyone to let go. I did all caregiving in her home, then mine. Im grateful I was able to give her quality care, safety, surrounded by peace and love. It was also very challenging.
No cure. WRONG. Get off the Standard American Diet. Read a book called the Blue Zones. About the longest lived people on the planet, who have great life into their 80 90 100. Number one thing you can do is change what you eat. NO CURE BULLSHIT.
I am 75 and I am taking care my 38 yo son with Down Syndrome and autism. He lives at home with me and his dad who is 73. We are not alone in this. There are many of us out here doing this. We are all very worried and scared of what will happen to are sons or daughters after we are gone or can’t do the care taking any longer. I have numerous health problems as does my son. His care takes priority and caring for him. This is exhausting for us. There is little that is being done to address this issue. Will my daughter have her brother and her parents to look after plus her family? How can she possibly do that? My son has been in 3 different “group” homes. I can’t tell you how bad the care was. It was horrible. There are regulations by the state but they are under staffed and over worked. These homes can hire anyone off the street basically and train them for every thing including distributing meds. They don’t need any schooling or certificate to do this work. Recently they have been hiring mostly male African immigrants who barely speak English. They don’t know how to cook or clean and when I would try to talk to them they did not know what I was talking about. I did address my concerns with administration but it went nowhere. Basically hiring is tight and these are most of the applicants the get. If they do not hire them they will be short staffed and have to close. That results in what happens to the residents living there and lost revenue for the owners. In this past house my son was abused 3 x. My son, in three years, gained almost 40 pounds, he is now short of breath all the time, has a cpap he refuses to wear and severe obstructive sleep apnea and is dealing with cervical dystonia. We are working on all these health issues plus our own health issues that seem to take a back seat to his. Between him and myself one of us is going to the doctor every week. This is a huge issue for many of us out here and it goes totally unrecognized. Also as our sons and daughters get older, services become fewer and fewer. It is hard to find physicians, specialists or providers who have knowledge or skill to work with special needs. Their health issues are many times unique to their disability. Finding help is harder and harder if not impossible. So as my husband and I are going through our 70’s, headed to our 80’s, we are caring for our son who is 38 who is unable to care for himself. I take care of him like I would a young child and when he has a bowel movement, I must still wipe his butt and I also have to shower him. All this care does not address all the paperwork we are required to fill out for the courts. We must do a yearly report for the court’s and account for every penny of the money he receives from the government. Coming in and going out had better balance too and all receipts must be saved. Organizations, businesses and the general population have absolutely no idea this goes on unless you have a family member dealing with this. No one is really dealing with these issues and the elderly that are taking care there sons and daughters with significant needs. There are waiting lines to get into a group homes, all are full and turn over doesn’t happen quickly. Add to this the poor regulations for training and hiring staff. One reason for this hiring issue is what they pay them. It is squat for what is expected of them. You get what you are willing to pay for. Also about 10 years ago my parents were aging, sick and then passed away. Along with taking care of my son and working I helps take care of them. My mom passed first at the age of 86 and about 4 years later my dad at 93 got cancer. He was very ill because it went undiagnosed for so long. He never realized he was so ill until it was all through his body. When he got sick he came and stayed in our home. Seems like everyday we were going to the doctor. I even gave up my bed for him until we could get a hospital bed. That came in the day he passed. He was here for about 4 months before he passed, in my bed and surrounded by all his kids but one. As a 75 yo woman I have no idea what it feels like to be taken care of or nurtured. Since my son was born 38 years ago, my life changed forever. My commitment went to my son who would forever be a child and my other children. Those children have grown and have life’s and families of their own as it should be but not true for my other son. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son more than I could ever explain to anyone. He has taught me a lot too about life and people and given me new perspective even with regard to my faith. I cannot tell you all how lonely of a life this is. Unless you have actually walked in our shoes you will never know. That is fact! They closed institutions and hospitals, which is exactly the right thing to do. Children with special needs and disabilities now live with their parents and other sibs. The family dynamic in that household will be very far from what the “norm” is. It is what it is, the child cannot be “fixed”, and will be dependent on the parents until the time the parents pass or the child passes. So what they didn’t do after closing those institutions and hospitals was plan for what would happen now to these children and the people responsible for caring for them. The system is totally underfunded. However the quality of these children is 150% better as they are loved and living with their family and being treated as a human being. Imagine what the government saves in $$$ by closing these institutions and hospitals. It had to be very expensive to run plus the quality of life for the people was so bad, there was no quality. In the institution that closed in our area there are unmarked graves and no one knows who is buried there. So sad that this is what was done to a segment of our society. Overall it is a shame how the most weak and vulnerable in our society are treated and cared for. We could be doing so much better than we are but we don’t.
Yours was a very long text but I read every word to the end. My heart goes out to you! My goodness, how overwhelming. Thank you for bravely sharing what your lives are like.🙏
I have a 74 year old friend whose son was born 35 years ago with Downs and I watched her go through him having a bag that had to be changed several times a day. The things she went through to get him good care was incredible. At age 8 he was able to get surgery and the bag was removed which gave her alot more freedom. She had two older kids too. She moved across country to be around family which was good for her. Lucky for her she has no health issues at the time but is single. Her son is stable with a mental state of about a 7 year old. He is happy and I hope both of them stay healthy. I can't imagine the stress you have endured. And you are right ..these mentally challenged children are very loving people. They deserved to be treated as valuable human beings because they are...Wishing you all the best.
I am a female 70 years old with a special need son 43 with metal problems some other things. I care for him at home, he is able to walk and get and out of tub. Does feed himself. Which is a blessing, but still is hard some day's.
Impressive. Thank you for sharing this and raised awareness about how aging looks like for people living with or taking care of people with special needs
Thank you for telling us about your experience. My grandson is autistic. Not a day passes that I don't think about his future and his parents. Prayers to you and all who support you 🙏.
I run a nursing home and all of my residents range in age from 92-101 years. My medical director is a minimalist in medication intervention and only prescribes the most necessary of drugs. He’s extremely involved in their needs and care and doesn’t just come in and prescribe to treat a minor issue. We all work as a team and treat everyone like they are family and they truly become family. We interact and spend 1 on 1 time. I truly believe that frequent interaction, encourage regular exercise, spending time actually talking with them and staying engaged with their needs and interests, keeping family involved with care along with the physician. I take great pride in being able to say my residents are an entire group of centurions. The physician jokingly states he doesn’t know what we are doing and it’s impressive that the entire group is 90+. I just tell him we care.
Many nursing homes have people in their 60's , 70's and 80s, some are even in their early 30s , 40s and 50s, they can go on outings, and enjoy the outdoors, the food is pretty good, and watch old movies., they have free maid service. I visited one for 20 years almost every day, had a family member there. the activities were pretty good, entertainment and bingo.
If I ever make it to an age where I get put in your home, could you just put one in my head? Save everyone the time and money and most importantly I don't want it...
@@ILikeMyYT123 my daughter spent 20 years in a nursing home, in New York, she was 18 when she had a cardiac arrest, she came home said she could not breathe, I gave her a nebulizer treatment, she had alcohol and drugs in her system, I did not know, she could not talk walk blind feeding tube wheelchair for 20 years, I visited her almost every day, took her home for visits, mall , movies , helped with her care, she died at the age of 38 in 2017, she was on Medicaid 100 per cent covered 😥
Same. My Grandma made it to 105. She was was slowly dying and miserable for 15 years. I was pretty much the only one that looked in on her. So I got to see the whole descent. Grandma just stopped being Grandma after a while. It was kind of a relief when she finally passed away.
My Mom was in hospice care for a few short days as she was at the end of her life from metastatic cancer. As a nurse I watched the nurses who were more compassionate and kind than I could’ve ever known tenderly caring for her. My mother passed away from a horrible disease. May she rest in peace, I loved her so much! 🙏✝️❤️
May every nurse and caregiver who has had the kindness of heart to offer tender care to a total stranger, even when no one was looking, find even more kindness for their caregivers in their time of need. We appreciate you and your care more than most of us can ever articulate during those sickest or weakest moments when you care for us.
I've met elders in retirement homes that want to live no matter what. Met some who are ready to go but say for some reason they keep waking up in the morning. Even met one who planned to go out by medical because was tired of dealing with cancer. I believe all of their choices should be respected
What a heartfelt, brutally honest look at aging and how it affects the family and the aging parent. Thank you so much for taking such a difficult topic and addressing these issues.
Too bad this is almost 17 years old…out of date. An updated version would be nice. This crisis is already here and we’re in the middle of it. US healthcare sucks.
I'm 95 and mowed an acre of difficult lawn a couple of days ago. I force myself to walk with my walker. The thing is that I feel this time to be a wonderful part of my life. I travel far and wide every day, via my computer and the internet. I can look into any subject I want and learn new stuff. I am socially active on email, Facebook, etc. The thing that I believe helped me is when I joined a certain church, in 1953, and stopped smoking, drinking alcohol, I even stopped drinking coffee. I can remember things I experienced all the way back since I was two years old. Honest. I have loved the life I have experienced. I can't begin to remember the names of all my great grandchildren. I also have three great great grandchildren. Having said the above, it has not all been peaches and cream. But whose life has. I look forward to going through the veil of life to be with my departed loved ones, which I know will happen.
You are very beautiful person from inside and out, I've been a care giver for 27 years I read you as a loving person and fun to hangout, I'm almost 57 years old working as a care giver in a nursing home and little sweet ladies like you make me want to continue doing what I do for a living. I love where my heavenly father has place me. May the Lord continue blessing you with strength and courage. Thanks for your inspirational.sincerely Martha💜
@@uwsgrrrl9981 Not drinking and smoking is huge. I never drank or smoked. I am 52, a health nut. I speed skate a 20 mile round trip nature path every other day. I feel great after it. I also do moderate strength training. Good lifestyle, diet, etc. can greatly improve your fate later in life. Nothing is 100%, but there are women in their 80s on YT lifting weights.
As a 55 year old, what you are telling me is that it is better to die at 64 like my father than to live long enough to falll victim to corporate medical injustice.
Age 62 is the age that most people go into the Emergency Room with a Heart Attack or Stroke. Many go in the front door by an ambulance and out the back door in a hearse. Be happy if that's not you. Today, many people never see the age of 55. Others are expecting to live to 120.
@philipharned2794 My doctor told me watch the prostate and chloresterol. Otherwise, I'm in excellent health at 69. He was surprised and I'm wondering why. You are correct, most die young.
As a healthcare provider, I will say that I believe that we are keeping people alive for too long. Longevity is not everything, if you are lonely, sick, miserable and in pain. Decreased hearing, vision, mobility and cognitive ability: these are all awful, but combined, they are truly unbearable. I know that most people want to live as long as possible, or so they think, but I cared for a 92-year-old who was in despair that she had lived so long. All family and friends gone, unable to find any joy. It is sad.
I'm 91 years old and got all my marbles. I live alone in my home and can take care of all my needs. I can still drive and my son drops by every now and then to see if I'm still alive. My 76 year old wife is still alive and lives in her own country. I am an introvert and she is an extrovert.
wow you surprised with your comment, you are at home while your wife lives in another country? kudos to you, you are a brave and strong man , I am assuming you are some sort of artist because of being introvert, have a nice day @@howellwong11
Nurses aid in assistant living. Witness too many forced into physical therapy at 90 plus why? . 107 yr old currently is doing physical therapy her family wants her to walk more don't want her in a wheelchair. The poor women!! Elderly are cash cows for medical facilities long-term care facilities pharmaceutical and medical equipment companies. Keeping people alive into their late 90's and over is very profitable. The more frail the better just keep them breathing.
Both of my parents died in their 70's. I hope to go during that time in my life as well. No nursing home, or extreme care. There are worse things than death.
**Yes, some of us ,Our body is so very worn out long b4 it's time tho n we non-Stop Go,go,go all our lives even as kids were caring for or helping do, build, Put something heavy like Car n Trucks back together n it's🚫 fair to us also 🙄💭❗... It's challenges daily for even basic care n needs (Shower store n cook, or Shower, dr., n Dinner, or see grandchildren, do something fun n memories , even baking cookies or going to a festival or school play n awards ceremony with them in elementary school 🏫 ) is the dilemma 💔 n a 6 yr old tells me " I 🚫 care what you 👀💭 look like NaNa, jus come" 😢 really is 💔❗., yes a Prisoner in our own body👀💭😢❗... Being trapped , n the ailments n pain, 😮over n over takes a toll on your mind too❗... My kids 🚫 understand, Cause even I 🚫 Myself 🙄💭❗... I n my kids took care of my mom 11 yrs. N daddy for 3 yrs. They passed 8 months apart, my kids were all latter teens, 18, 16,15, n 13 😢❗... They never ever 🚫 Had a overnight vacation cause I had mom n dad n I promised em I'd be happy to 😊take care of em, n I/We ❤'d it most days but it was horrible in latter time sadly mom was 66 n bed to chair 10 yrs. Dad was 76 n had mini strokes n diabetes, till when he had major stroke, he 🤕🚫Understand n forget he couldnt walk, Get up at nite to try n go bathroom instead of telling me n fell n broke his hip 😮😢❗.. I'll🚫 forgive myself for it, n having to be the 1 to do as mom asked n pull the plug 😢😠❗... It echoes some days but mom did have a DNR in place but for 3 days she suffered tremendously but dad 🚫 complained n jus went to sleep beside me n 🚫 wake up for 2 days 😢😇❗... I know its scary sometimes myself n Im very limited to 2 things in a day or I'm down for 3 days in bed, Im only 51🙄⌛❗.. Tests are bein done but The outcome 🚫 change the body I've grown to know but 🚫 ever get use to 😢😠😮 My husband has different types of diagnosis n I have taken care of em 3 yrs. already ❤, Mental health becomes evident 😮😢 on the daily now n has for sometime ✨🕯✨, So sorry I jus did a mental dump 😮 on ya, your comment jus hit home ❤ with me so thank you to anyone who reads this n have a blessed day, evening , where ever ya are 👋😇**
I hear so many people say, oh 70 or 75 is so young still, I’m like no it’s not 80 we’re pretty much done, there’s some people who are blessed with god health through their 80s but most are not. I’m ready to go when it’s my time, I damn sure don’t want nursing home or to be a burden ♥️
Both my parents also died in their early 70s. Sadly, my dad developed vascular dementia so his last few years were awful. I want to live until my early 80s. I hope I make it.
@@wontbefooledagain9400 speak for yourself, I'm 73 and my biggest health issue is getting my pullup count higher. I can move a mound of snow as big as a pickup truck in an hour by myself. Not everyone ages the same and some of us have taken good care of ourselves most of our lives.
This documentary was an early warning, and now it's my reality. I'm in my mid-40s and have been taking care of my aging parents on some level for the past fifteen years, most of it as primary care after they both had debilitating cardiopulmonary problems. Our society needs to wake up to the fact that there are more people like myself who are giving up their personal aspirations to care for disabled elders. It's a stifling burden that will take all to heavy a toll on elders and caregivers alike.
In Switzerland there is legal places whom put you to sleep after arranging your funeral where ever you wish to be buried , it's legal if you have chronic health issues like depression , cancer other type illnesses ect... Doctor Ludwig used to be the director but you can find them online.
Wow… the only sad part of this post is that the generation that’s old (mine = aka Boomers) has raised such selfish children. I didn’t have kids and clearly didn’t miss anything. I don’t think they would have been any different than you are. Glad I didn’t have selfish children who don’t value their elders. In other societies, for example, India, children honor their parents by touching their feet. In japan, they always shake hands with the eldest first, and the eldest approaches the younger person. Americans lack respect for the wisdom we have as an older generation. You will see one day when your own children throw you away like garbage. It will be your own karma.
Wow! This video first aired in 2006 (17 yrs ago). The information is very much in tune with what my sister, brother, & I are dealing with in caring for our elderly mother now. In 2006 she was still well & totally independent. In 2013, she had a stroke and all of our lives changed drastically, to say the least. I'll spare the details, but my younger sister (who isn't paid via Medicaid as a caregiver because my mom draws too much from Social Security in the state of Georgia) gave up her job to be mom's caregiver. All three of us have to pitch in to make it work. It is stressful, people, but we love mama.
Georgia stinks when it comes to benefits. I cared for my Mother til she became wheelchair bound and I couldn't anymore but I see her regularly at the nursing home which is five miles from me.
My sister has a 54 year old friend who took care of his mom who died 6 months ago. He took care of her for 7 years in a two bedroom apt. that her social security check paid for. He did not get paid by medicaid. He got a job after she died but then got laid off and was unable to find another. He got evicted and had to put things in storage. The guy has one pair of pants, one shirt, one pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt. He has been staying with my sister and I now for 3 months while he gets on his feet again. He basically had put his life on hold for seven years. He has no family and no children. I am concerned for him because he takes terrible care of himself and eats nothing but processed foods. The food in our U.S. grocery stores is terrible for you unless it is organic. We need to educate parents and kids on the danger of eating and drinking things with all these horrible chemicals in them. Maybe then we might see people live healthier and happier lives.
This is so depressing to watch. I’m 72 years old, divorced with no children and retired in Europe as my pension wasn’t enough to live in the States. It has been a wake up call to me to start thinking seriously about becoming too old to care for myself. Other than a bad knee, I’m in good shape, on no meds, eat well and am not overweight. I walk with my dogs for 1,5 hours each day. It’s not aerobic but I’m moving! I figure that my organs will be in good shape and so will leave my body to a medical university here. I really don’t want to keep living if I can’t manage on my own but this country has no programs for just letting ppl die. I think they have a no resuscitation order, at least I hope. Watching this has made me see that I don’t want to live just to be alive. And what a burden it is on society as well. God bless the doctors in this documentary; they seemed like such caring doctors, rare these days.Thank you for uploading.
The nursing home where I work in Georgia charges 5k a month for no care independent apartment, 8k a month for assisted living and 11k a month for "memory care" when you talk to curtains, don't know who you are or anybody else and often relive past trauma. Seems like money poorly spent. The people caring for them certainly aren't seeing any of it
As a old man one of the few things that scare me is ending up in some state funded hellhole being spoon fed by someone who makes min wage. Please Lord take me before that happens.😢
most nursing homes will not spoon feed their patients, they just use feeding tubes bevause they are understaffed and the owners are greedy businessmen. these state funded nursing homes are scam places, storages, $$$ makers. theyre not rehab places, at least in the US. in fact, healthcare in the US is a scam, thats why american doctors are wealthy, they provide very low quality care for a very high price. retire abroad, get your social securiry check somewhere else where human lives are still respected.
I am a geriatric nurse who is retired…. I watched and held the hands of many people who left this earth in pain..No family was there for some of them….I still believe in Dr.Kavorkian….To some people that sounds like suicide but to those of us caring for these precious people who die in pain and loneliness it is a way to leave this earth with dignity and pain free…. You might change your mind if you knew what I have seen…😢😢😢😢
I’m 80 yrs old now. I am dealing with chronic conditions and I figured out that we weren’t meant to live this long with such reduced functionality. Fortunately, I still have mobility with a cane, I can drive as well as I ever did, my mind is just as alert as it ever was. For 23 years, I’ve had a much younger husband who helps me everyday. I’m lucky, but I don’t like that I have limitations. I now want to get all my things in order because I don’t know how much time I have left. Yet, I still have dreams and plans and I wonder if I will be able to realize them. Life is weird now.
When my mom begged me to help her end her own suffering, full of cancer, that was one of the toughest moments in our life together. I wish she had have this choice. On the other hand life is ending for most of us in pain. And part of life is suffering. In my mind I cannot believe I was feeling so paradoxical. I placed my mom in hospice. To support a safe and peaceful passing, without machines, without intervention. My own family did not understand but to me that is the best I could do for my mom to help her dying at least in dignity. Loved ones having the space to say their goodbyes. It was a very insightful experience. And I kept thinking. When I am old and sick, I want to die in hospice. We need a lot more hospice and that way would be offering a lot more quality and peace at one’s end.
You did the right thing. I lost my 93 year old mother a year ago. Her time came, and to keep her alive with modern medical treatments would have prolonged her agony. It would have been a terrible disservice to her. She passed away peacefully in hospice
You did the compassionate thing for your mother❤️ I’m a retired nurse and I want to die is on hospice. I have seen many different ways to die, and the best way to die is on hospice.
My father died at home at the age of 95 in December of 2021. Near the end, we had to change his diapers. This documentary was watered down so it would not be too upsetting to the people who watched it. The problem is the shock of realizing you would have to do things that you never thought you would have to do. Colleges should have a short course where they teach people, and more importantly, expose people to the things that have to be done when people are dying.
May god bless you and your families. It is a good idea to include courses as you said in colleges. Children should have lessons on how to be a good child and how to care parents in their old age and share good habits with other students. There should be a mandatory Morale and Discipline exam and students should pass on this till they reach college. I strongly believe this will reduce violence in schools and colleges. Also students should be educated on the importance of why sex is secret and sacred. It is more painful than anything in this world that a parent holding his child on his lap feeling the pain of the child dying of drug issues.
My mom was a blessing to herself and all around. Died from a heart attack immediately, 85 years old and still walking every day to her Caffee and preparing her meals. 🙏🙏🙏
Some of them could have 5 children, but if your children are crappy adults or may have died before the parents the end will be the same whether single, or widow, or have crappy children.
This reminds me of my grandmother's final years. She was almost 90 when she passed away. I remember her last few months when I had to put her in a full-time nursing home. One day, she looked at me and said, "look at me! I can't even walk anymore! This is no kind of life!" Her quality of life was not bringing her any joy. As a result, 6 months later, she passed in her sleep. In my heart, I know she deteriorated so quickly once she went into the nursing home. I decorated her room with household items and pics she created, and her favorite music. But in the end, she was finished and finally got to "go home" to be with her family. That gives me peace ❤
My Dad is 92 and my Mom is 89 next month. I talk to them on the phone twice a day, and I'm moving down to live near them 1,000 miles away next week. Due to my own serious health issues, I was not able to travel until very recently. Haven't seen them since before the pandemic. Prior to this, I saw them twice a year. I'm blessed that they're still here and that we can all be together instead of me just seeing them a few times a year until they're gone. Zero assistance whatsoever from my brothers, so I'm all alone with this. My dad is in excellent health, my mom had heart attacks years ago and multiple rounds with bladder cancer, but she is good now. I know at this age this can change at any moment. As much as I'm glad that we can spend some time together and I didn't miss this opportunity due to everything that happened during the pandemic, they got four vaccines and both got Covid, don't look forward to what is ahead of me. I am single and this is so hard.
I really feel for you! I left my home, 3 grown children and 8 grandchildren and went back to my hometown 4 hours away to take care of my dad. He’s 86 and I came March 14, 2023 and it’s Aug. 13, 2023. My dad has dementia of the Alzheimer’s type. My brother is here but works long hours and is in another state M-F and sometimes there a couple of nights a week. So he can’t always be here for dad’s appts. I’ve done every one of them. It’s a lot. I had not seen him in 4 years when my mother died and I came back for her funeral in June 2022. Had not seen her for 4 years either. I understand what ur going through.
Get support - period. Even if you feel your "fine". Strength to you! Re your brothers. Not much grooming of men to handle caregiving. I'm always shocked when I hear friends who are sending Dad to live with daughters. Dad may not feel comfy with daughter toileting him. Again, strength to you.
Give more time to visit them.. don’t make my mistake for not visiting my parents when they still in this world, now I always sad everytime I want to visit them but they are no longer here:(
I know what your are going thru I had 5 sibling when my mom got sick with cancer I was the only one who help her thru it. I resent the fact when asked if I had other sibling it was hard on me with no help from them. I just want to carry out my responsibity as her daughter in the bible where it says HONOR your MOTHER I did to her death if I do that GOD promise me long life as well so pray I mean get on your knees and help you to get thru this.❣
I’ve worked in a care home for nearly three years now so I experience this firsthand. It’s not all devastating though, there’s so much love and laughter these people can offer in a way you can’t experience in other profession. I genuinely love my residents and the work I do comes from that
Reply to@Tae - So glad to see your "positive" comnent. Because I have also worked assisting elderly folks, and I really cared for most of the folks I assisted. Seniors have a lot of wisdom and those that are still blessed with a good mind is great to be around them. I have a lot of respect for Seniors. And yes some of them are at times bitter, angry, or lonely. The lonely Seniors just breaks my heart, because many families (younger generations) are not there to visit with them, too busy. Praying 🙏 for all Seniors in our country for they still have a pulse. Still God's children.
This broke my heart. It is amazing that this aired in 2006 -- it is now 2023, and us kids that were born in the late 60's and early 70's are dealing with this with our parents. It makes me keenly aware of my own mortality. I have no kids and I am single -- who is going to care for me when I am my mother's age? I can only pray that I have continued mobility and health for a long time, my mind remains sharp and that I have an appreciation for the simple things in life -- watching a sunrise or sunset, reading books, and having a few good friends.
I'm 57 and I do have two young boys, both young teenagers. I don't want nor expect them to care for me when I'm older. I feel I'll be such a burden to them. Medicine has prolonged our lives though living longer into the 80s or even 90s doesn't mean it'll be a good life. We'll have a large population in their 80s with no one to care for them sad to say.
same here. no kids and I’m in my mid 50”s, my husband is in the 80’s. I have the option of going back to my country when the time comes but I really like it here medical care wise and the convenience of pretty much a lot of things better than where Im from. it is worrisome and doesn’t help when you already are prone to worry
I am in the same boat. Tried to start a family 25 years ago but it didn’t happen. Now 61 and divorced and single. Thankfully I am in excellent health and in way better condition than 99% of my age group, but once one passes 60 there simply are no guarantees and life can change overnight. Euthanasia needs to be an option for competent adults. I think it will inevitably become more widely available over the next 20 to 30 years as more and more people reach old age childless.
We cared for my Mother & Father to the end. 24/7 365 days a year. It was the BEST thing we ever did. Never regret the 5 year’s of full time cooking, cleaning, Drs appointments, ER waiting 15 hours was a normal wait. Learned a lot about my parents. They were married 70 years. ❤❤
My stepmom was having a lot of trouble breathing; it turned out to be a tumor near her heart that was pressing against her lungs. The doctor had a long talk with her. She lived alone, she was almost 80, malnourished, and wouldn't have been a good candidate for surgery or chemo. After she went into hospice she died within nine days. I barely got there in time to say good-bye, and although they were giving her medication to ease her pain, I happened to see her when she was struggling to breathe. It sounded like when you suck the end of a drink through a straw; that gurgling sound will haunt me forever. She passed away a few hours after my visit and my first feeling was relief. I couldn't imagine keeping her alive merely to see her suffer more. At some point, people can't be cured. It's very sad.
There are hospice nurses on UA-cam who explain end of life things that happen on hospice. That sound you heard might have been a sound known as the death rattle. It is caused by air moving across unswallowed spit and is a common sound at the end of life. I'm sorry for your loss.
@@irvineal I work in hospice and each being leaves differently so such a statement is not necessarily true. Saying less when one doesn't know is a good motto to live by. Namaste
@@frankclements1431 the reality is you have the freedom to die before deteriorating too much. If your counter argument is based on religion then it holds no ground.
For six days a week, I work as a home health personal care assistant for two elderly ladies, one of whom is 86 and has Alzheimer's and the other who is 92 and has vascular dementia. Each lady lives with her daughter. It is not an easy path to walk for the family members, but I do all I can to lighten the load for the entire family when I am there in their homes. Incidentally, my late husband lived to be 106--I took care of him, too.
Insane! I have no family. No children. No partner. No one who will inherit anything when I die. I have no life’s work that I need to accomplish. I have no fear of death. I have NO fear of death! To be kept alive like some of these people is, to me, cruel…a form of torture under the guise of care. I MUST be allowed to end my life when I want to.
This documentary series alone--Frontline--makes my monthly contributiuon to PBS so easy and worth every penny. Thanks to everyone involved. This episode was especially important.
I'm 40 years old and suffer from schizophrenia. It's a horrible disease. I'm scared half my life and I have to be careful about noises because they turn into voices. Now imagine suffering from that and being 90 years old laying in bed in a nursing home.
Actually people with schizophrenia are 6X more likely to get some form of dementia. So you're unlikely to reach that age and even if you do, you won't have voices anymore. You just won't remember anything. But in a couple of decades the meds for schizophrenia will be much better anyway. My uncle had it and in his generation alone the meds improved by a very significant amount.
@user-hd1bw3dw2w I've heard that. I take an injection called Invega. It seems to help me out but it's always worse in the mornings. When I wake up I here people talking to me. The doctor says the invega doesn't give me anxiety but I swear it does. I've never had problems with anxiety until I started taking invega. So they have me on every type of anxiety meds you can think of. It's really changed my life. I no longer want to go into public any more and I don't get hungry. Thank God for insurance because the invega shot cost 1700 dollars a shot! For the most part I just want to be left alone and have things quite. I really worry about loosing my mind and at the same time dealing with the ticks, noises, and voices. I can't watch t.v. any more because they watch you through the t.v. and it's just to noisy. I can't listen to the radio because the noises repeat in my head all day. I guess you can say I'm already loosing my mind I just don't want to get any worse with age. Sometimes I get so afraid I can't even look in a mirror. People have the wrong idea about schizophreniacs, I'm not dangerous or do crazy things. I wouldn't hurt a fly. I'm just socially inadequate now and have to keep things as quite as possible. I have a college degree and have always worked two jobs and had a girlfriend. All that went away. Now I'm stuck on disability and barely can make it from month to month. I have manic attacks if there's to many things going on at one time. I've been to the E.R. 4 times so they can inject me with calming medicine. You try driving while your mind is going 100 miles an hour, you can't control your movements, and you think some one is watching you. It's a horrible disease right up there with alhzeimers.
I do massive research for my own things & have read many times that schizophrenia is a deficiency...think it's B1 but not your everyday B1, Benfotiamine or Ttfd. I could be wrong on the deficiency, you can search on YT & Google, easy to find. Deficiencies really mess us up. Be well🙏
I have schizoaffective disorder and my biggest fear is not being treated adequately when I’m old and sick, laying in bed scared to death. I’d rather die then have this happen to me.
Both of my parents died in their fifties. They had eight children. 5 of us are now in our sixties but the youngest had died of "natural causes" in his late forties. Lifestyle, diet, exercise, attitude, good friends, and a whole lot of luck is the best way to live one's life!
I watched my Mom suffer and die after years of illness and being in a Convelecent home for over 3 years.(1988) She was 78. My Dad , never sick, suffered a heart attack at 89. One week later, he suffered a second and never made it out of the hospital(1989). I lost the love of my life after 40 years in 2017. Two weeks in the hospital, diagnosed with a choice of death, or amputation of both legs above the knee. They chose hospice at home and in two weeks was gone. Age, 66. I am now 78, and am just starting to slow down. I have no one else around to be the way I was for my folks or my spouse. I don't want extended life. I don't want to be a vegetable left to linger alone until my body finally gives up completely. Dying , is not pleasant, especially if you die alone. If all about the afterlife that I have believed is true ? I can't wait. If it isn't ? Well, I guess I'll find out.
I’m 43. I had the love of my life for 5 years before he took his life. My only son is grown and could care less about me and my career has crumbled under my mental illness. I’ve had a great life and I’m very appreciative. But this is it. I’ve got 5 or 10 years left. Like the man said, this gettin old is for the birds.
Great post. Yeah, this is such a difficult issue. Also the issue of dying with dignity is not what many make it out to be. It is not always depression or mental illness to recognize your circumstances and to know you will die alone and plan for how you want it to go. I do this and I know it is just pragmatic, rationalism - not pessimism or depression. I know how I want to live. And how I want to die.
I absolutely don’t want heroic measures to live longer. In fact, as a nurse, I have seen the worst things in ICU that bioethically have been appalling to me. It’s our responsibility to care for our older generations if we insist on shoving every single person into an ICU for care they don’t necessarily ask for or need. The medical community is just as responsible for this problem as is our society at large. Our irrational fear of death and denial of dying is part of the problem. I personally would rather die a good death early than live a long life of suffering as a vegetable in a nursing home.
And our family members want to hang on to us,I've seen it with my family. Keeping someone alive beyond the point that they should be dead is selfish. Some of the nursing homes I've been in are shameful the environment and energy are disgusting. We should be send those wonderful people off with dignity but corp look at it as a money maker
As an ICU nurse myself, I totally agree with you. I am in awe of what we will put people through for the sake of being “alive”. I’m 35 and have my advanced directive in place with limits and time frames. I want to a meaningful recovery. No trach. No PEG. No nursing home. If I cannot live without those things, live is no longer worth living to me.
You have to add our families are Sooo Much more than our dear pets! Of course put'n em down is faaar from what most could do even legal.... It's the utter loss of who they are to you.. the orphaning that happens even when you've done all you can to care for them... Life just isn't simple on this issue! 😔
Almost 30 years ago I had the pleasure of taking care of a woman who was 106. She was of sound mind and body. She did everything for herself and her roommate. Her surname was the same as mine. I absolutely cherish the wisdom and stories she shared with me. Knowing her made me a better person. I made the mistake of asking her what it was like being 106. She said " I would never wish this hell on anyone. My husband died almost 40 years ago, all 6 of my children are dead, and two of my grandchildren. All of my friends are dead. This is a fate worse than death. " The only reason I remember exactly what she said is because I wrote down patient stories (I did not write down their names) It was a privilege and a pleasure to spend time with and serve WWII era patients. They told me the absolute truth. People of a certain age lose their verbal filter. Those patients are the reason I work in healthcare. The generation I see now are not the same in any way. They are mean, entitled, and abusive (both physically and verbally) It's so very different. I will never turn my back on a patient. They will always receive care and compassion. I no longer work in long term care. For my own sanity I had to make the choice to work in the hospital.
@@Kaledrone because she was lonely and depressed as well as a bit unsteady, so I needed to be with her when she showered. She didn't want to cook or clean anymore. She wanted to find a way to make her life easier and happier. Personally, I'm thankful she was able to have that at least.
I never had a filter 😂 I have always been kind, & honesty is important to me. If you ask me what I think, I tell them. Life's too short for useless niceties, I want to be with people who have something to say. I 😊 & talk to strangers, it's good.❤
My dog got old and she was full of tumors. She was dying. We took her to the vet and had her euthanized. It was the kindest most peaceful death I have witnessed. We should all have this choice. Legally!
Agree! We wouldn't let our beloved pets suffer. We should have the same option for ourselves. Some states do allow euthanasia with prescribed medication, but it's not widely known. A handful of western states do, plus Vermont, but not all doctors participate, and you must be legally competent.
I agree! In my state we theoretically have this legal right, but because a religious organization runs most of the health care businesses here, it is extremely difficult to access this legal right.
I just wanted to cry. This reminded me of my Mom. She was very firm about not doing anything. She was ready to go. It’s still emotional. But aging can be so devastating. My Mom took excellent care of her health but still Osteoporosis got her. She was 88 and I was there until the end.
@@Livetoeat171 Her back became so curved it affected her internal organs. She actually died it says on her Death Certificate, of “natural causes.” But the osteoporoses started the decline.
I’m a caregiver and I wish people understood the cost of 24 hour in-home care. It’s beyond the “retirement” we save for over our careers. I want to be able to afford the level of care I give if I need it someday (I’m part of an exceptional team of women; very lucky)
God bless you. I never want to get that old. I have watched my family members deteriorate into broken, lost shells of their former selves. I have mentally deteriorated tremendously by the ripe old age of 43. I’m horrified to think of the comatose, drooling, drain on society I will become in a couple decades. If I can’t get a hold of assisted dying in 10 years I will be a statistic. No gettin old over here. For what? To suffer and die? I’m doing that already.
Agreed, there are other problems as well. My father died this year at 82. He needed at least minimal in-home care, as I often provided. My 71 year old stepmother has always acted as if they were struggling financially and did little to take proper care of my father. Two months after he died, she immediately bought a million dollar house with cash (this was their savings not retirement or life insurance and beautiful homes sell in their area for $200k). I have long suspected she was hording money for herself. I am considering taking her to court for neglect of my father. I couldn't care less about money but knowing she had more than anyone in the family and she neglected my father sickens me. I had been begging for years for her to hire some help but she never would - not even wheelchair ramps for the house which I repeatedly offered to buy and install so my dad wouldn't fall down the porch anymore and could get to the doctor. She said it would "make the house look ugly" and "decrease the value" and my dad didn't want me to argue with her so I tried to honor that when he was living but if I'd known she had money I would have taken legal action ten years ago so he could have lived longer and had a richer life. I thought she was doing all she could for him but she seems to have been tolerating him to maximize the money she would have, waiting for him to die.
8:20 my heart breaks for this gentleman. It’s so frustrating to have a healthy mind and a failing body, just as much as the opposite. My Mom had a medical crisis in 2016. She was in the ICU, intubated, and sedated for a week. The doctors told us daily to be prepared, her chances of recovery were 50/50. We had faith in her, she knew when she would be ready. And she wasn’t ready yet. She recovered, it wasn’t easy but her love of life motivated her through her therapy. We talked about end of life wishes, that helped tremendously. As the years went by, the medical issues kept coming. Each time it took a little more from her. In 2021, in the midst of another emergency, I had to make the decision to end treatment. It was a traumatic experience for me, but she knew it was time and she was ready. She died peacefully two days later. The lucky ones have family that can and will care for them, even if it’s being hyper vigilant about their nursing home care. But we saw so many lonely people in the places my Mom did rehab at. Old age can really be a kick in the a$$
If you can get my mssg plz get Qur'an and Read it. That is the ultimate mssg of Creator of this Universe. You will be asked any single second of your life
This video was very thought provoking. I was a geriatric nurse for thirty years and then went on to surgery coordinator for ten more years. I loved nursing with the elderly people. They were so full of life learned knowlege that if asked, they would dole out quick one liners that would blow your mind from the simple amazing truth. Some were full of life and energy and some were frail and sickly, but they all stole my heart.
This is difficult to watch, brings back some sad memories with my parents. I was a care giver for both of my parents and was fortunate enough to be able to take a leave of absence so that I could see after each one of my parents when each one’s time was getting near. It was hard to watch the decline over the course of several months. I did not regret for one minute taking care of their needs and considered it an honor for them raising me and always being there for me.
Yeah I got all choked up several times watching it. But it was good. We all have to face death - for ourselves, our loved ones, and our society. It's so hard watching your parents age and pass on - so much harder than I ever thought it would be. And I had thought I had prepared properly for it. It was an honor doing anything I could for my parents but I had so few resources - it was very hard.
@masudsaleh5155what in the world are you talking about? I went through the worst hell divorce ever and can tell stories to make anyone's head spin. But your post doesn't fit here.
I believe it! My parents are about to turn 87 and 91. They are currently in assisted living and the amount of people even older than them residing there is astounding. My Dad says "we are living too long" thanks to medical science. It comes with many issues.
@@cl5193exactly! I'm an RN and the hospital is basically a merry go round for elderly with chronic illnesses. They're tired, their families are exhausted, it's hard to watch. People need to be realistic about aging.
My baby boomer parents passed away at age 72, and 81 respectively. Dad was fit physically and strong mentally until he came down with ALS and frontal lobe dementia. I talked to him, and he chose to make himself a DNR before his mind deteriorated to the point where he couldn't decide. It took him about 3 years during which he had physical therapy, then for the ALS to advance until he passed away in peace in the soldier's home where he stayed for the last year before passing away. My mother managed to stay independent until COPD caught up with her, and it was only the second time hospitalized that she ended up in respiratory distress. She had been clear that she did not want to be on a ventilator and did not want heroics. The doctor was clear she was at end stage in her COPD. I followed my mother's wishes and chose comfort measures. Luckily both my parents understood healthcare well enough to be clear on what they did and did not want done. As the youngest in my family and a critical care nurse by profession, I was there for them both to help advocate for their wishes in the end.
If you can’t advocate for yourself, I pray you all have someone to on your behalf. The medical profession for 2023 is right below the used car salesmen of the 70’s. I have yet to run into the compassionate doctors as shown here.
I once knew a woman who was 93 years old and was very frail. One day she suddenly had difficulty breathing, so her children called an ambulance. But she had seen a lot, and she believed that this was a sign of death and that first aid should not be given. But she was forced to the emergency room by her children. The difficulty breathing was cured after first aid, but from that time on, she was unable to take care of herself. She spent more than 10 years in bed, crying every day. She believed that when a person reaches the last stage of life, when God calls you, you should go immediately, otherwise because your organs have failed, you will live a painful life that is worse than death.
That's me. My only child was killed while serving in Iraq. I have to carry out my own wishes and deliver heirlooms to friends while I'm alive. I've prepared at Healthcare Directive appointing a friend if I became incapacitated. For now, I've downsized my home to a 10x20 and now travel in the USA seeing what I want to see...alone but content. I'm 63 but I'm a realist. All family has passed, so I figure the State can bury me. C'est la vie🎉
@@elizabethveverka5738 Elizabeth how do you feel about the Iraqi war? Do you feel it was necessary? To be honest, I don't even remember what the point of it was or what was accomplished, and if I had a family member die because of it I would be furious.
@@param6525the Iraqi war was about the destruction of the twin towers on 9-11-2011. (So, then president George bush told us). Iraq was picked because nobody in the Middle East liked Saran Hussein.
could be abandoned. could also be how they lived and treated their family. some lonely elderly folks may have been miserable or terrible parents and reaping those rewards
I am a 66-year-old female that has been retired since I was 62 due to medical reasons. I moved in with my daughter and her family at 52 at their request. I lived several states away from my only child and thought it was a good idea at that time. I was working, had my own car and paid my bills while helping her out. Then I got hurt at work and everything changed. In the blink of an eye, I went from just having high blood pressure to having back surgery, diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, hypothyroidism, gout, arthritis, diabetic neuropathy and peripheral artery disease, high cholesterol and the list goes on. I can still bathe myself but am starting to have difficulty doing that. I drive but had to sell my car because after I retired, I could not afford the upkeep of my car. I feel like I'm walking on marbles, and it is very painful. I'm in constant pain and I have yet to ask for pain meds because pain meds don't help my back at all. So, I lay around my room all the time unless I take a bath, fix me something to eat or go to my doctor's appointments. The two doctors I see don't care how I feel, they just write another prescription or do another test. I told one doctor that I was depressed, and he told me bluntly that wasn't his area of expertise. I hear all the time on television ads that say to talk to your doctor about depression. After seeing this and knowing my health is rapidly declining, I'm seriously thinking about taking my own life, so I won't have to suffer all the time and my daughter won't be burdened with my care. The gentleman in this video was right, getting old is for the birds.
Sandra, I'm so sorry to hear about the medical issues you're dealing with and that your doctor didn't try to help when you told him about your depression. Unfortunately, many doctors today don't seem to have the time or desire to give the kind of care that I think was more common years ago. I've experienced that with one of my new, young drs who took over when my previous one retired. But I urge you to be proactive with your healthcare. Perhaps you could call your dr's office and ask for a referral to a mental health professional to seek help with the depression. I would also ask for a referral to a pain clinic. My mother had spinal stenosis along with many other conditions and a fentanyl patch provided relief.
thank you for sharing and I completely agree with you. Doctors really do not care for their patients. They only try to get through as many patients as they can and get you out of there. I hope you find relief from the pain.
If you are able, please get out daily and walk. Look at your diet and try to find anti inflammatory foods. Check with your local church and find someone to talk with. It is hard being depressed and you need someone to talk with. Life is not over, please reach out to your local church. God be with you. 🙏
I lived with my mother for four and a half years during that illness. She got mean toward me, and I ended up having compassion fatigue, a form of PTSD.
My twin brother and I are adopted within the family. What I found extraordinary was that I was the only one wanting to keep mom out of a nursing home, even if she broke my heart. But I was shocked that my siblings did not want to help, especially her firstborn daughter.
She wasn't mean. Her brain was not functioning correctly. Remember, the brain is a part of the body, and breaks down too. If you look at it as part of the illness instead of taking it personally, you are better off.
@@WVgrl59 That is common among your generation. They just don't care about anyone but themselves. Maybe you should feel lucky you don't have those genes. You sound like the only one with compassion.
I am 70 and have survived for a year after undergoing chemo and surgery for stage 4 ovarian cancer. I am doing well right now but I am aware of the chances of it coming back. I have spoken with my daughter about assisted dying, she lives in a state where it is legal. Quality of life is important to me, and so is my independence. Death is just the inevitable end for all of us.
I find it amazing that we put elderly people, who cannot care for themselves, in a nursing home then continue to give them medication to keep them alive. I don't want to go that way.
@@Biteme-t8zthey don’t give them those kind of meds- it’s illegal. Old people an be very mean and demanding. They would actually benefit from anti depressants
I'm 68, single and childless, and in very good health. And I'm terrified about a future of dependence. I've left strict instructions with my younger brother and my physician cousin to make a decision to err on the side of death if any condition means I won't be able to live independently. Having watched my father wither away in nursing care, I can't bear the thought of that. God bless those who do wish to live on in whatever capacity, but that just isn't something I'd want.
I’m 54 and unfortunately I’m not going to get much older due to various health issues. I don’t think I’m afraid of death or not existing anymore but I’m terrified of the process of dying. My father suffered an unimaginable painful death and I was his caregiver till the end. There just seems like there should be a way to let people pass more peacefully
The Gospel that we believe in order to be saved. Jesus the Son of God, died or you/our sins. He was buried. On the the third day he arose from the dead/grave for our/your 27:52 before God our Father. Believe and be Saved. It's all by faith/belief
@@wendy54321 Now listen. I believe and love my Lord & savior and I do have faith and as weird as it sounds, I know that I will make it thru the death process. After all everyone does but it is very frightening after witnessing someone go through so much unrelenting agony. My dad was the strongest man I ever knew and saw him reduced to an unbelievable frailty. Maybe I need more than a Bible verse on this? Maybe I need some counseling when the time comes closer?
I did not see this film when it first aired. I was just moving in that year with my mother who was becoming frail and losing memory. Previously my career was in nursing home administration and I swore no one in my family would live in an institution unless they were advanced alzheimers or had a condition that required 24 hr care. I must say that this is an incredibly thoughtful and comprehensive presentation of the challenges and choices we all have to make about healthcare and aging. I so appreciate the thoughtfulness and wisdom and angel-like caring that these 3 doctors exhibit. I hope many people will see this, discuss it with your families, have your living wills and advance directives drawn up. My siblings and I (in our 60's) support Death With Dignity legislation in our states, and one of us is training to be a death doula! I am single no children and absolutely plan to avoid spending my last 5-20 yrs in physical and mental decline. If I can't be active and independent I will not become a zombie in a hospital bed. Interesting and delighted to see that Mrs. Strongin died as she hoped, in 2006 the same year this film was made!
After seeing this video I absolutely never want to accept a feeding tube to be kept alive, barely aware and completely bed bound, drugged up to try to alleviate terrible pain. I think so many family members are afraid to let go, and don’t want to make the decision to end their parent’s life even when it is the most compassionate thing to do to end their suffering. My own mother was a nurse and she has been telling me for 40 years that she doesn’t want to be kept alive by artificial means. I am lucky that I know her wishes.
Yup. The downside is that that last decade or so is fraught with health issues; the shock and loneliness of dying spouses (even children) other relatives, as well as dying friends, former coworkers and acquaintances, immobility/trouble getting around; the expense of just living, and undoubtedly taking multiple medications; the only visits outside are to the doctor's office. My dad is in his mid-80s, and I see how that is affecting him, and is an ever present reminder of my own aging. More aches, pains, "what IS that?!?", more pills, my body betraying me at every turn, not to mention the expense of living. Rents going up by leaps and bounds, food prices going up, gas prices through the roof...the future can be a terrifying thing to think about. I'm childless...who will take care of ME?
As my mom used to say 'I don't do old' and she passed relatively young, thank goodness. I hope for the same with me. I enjoy my life but when 'things' start to go down, I want out to prepare for the next one. Side note, I want a Doc like Dr Coch as mine at that time. Love him.
My dad passed away in March at age 101 after a few weeks hospital stay for Pneumonia, but even prior to that, and for…I’d say 6 years, he’s been a shell of his former self. We opted to have him stay at home. My mom took care of him (she is 78-still very much able-bodied), and when covid hit in 2020, my sister moved back home and was also helping out. It was always hard coming back home to visit and seeing his eyes gazing straight ahead, but not necessarily knowing you were there, or having to hand feed him, take him to the bathroom, clean him up. I am glad that he was cared for at home, because even though I work in elder care/nursing facilities, it’s not the same,and staff don’t necessarily have the time and patience for each individual resident. My dad had all of us in his 60s, for reference to how old his children are. :P
If you are 50-60 with minor ailments start exercising right now and do not stop. 1-2 hours everyday no matter what. Walk and stretch at the minimum. Or else.
@@ey67 You are correct but or else can be mitigated. The human body was designed to heal itself. All it requires is a little assistance and determined self care.
My mother lived independently and very actively until she had a stroke at age 107 last March and died a day later. She went the way she wanted to go and everyone in her family is thankful. Meanwhile, my wife died in July at 76 from the lingering effects of a stroke six years earlier. My former wife, who is 80, was recently diagnosed with ALS that will prove fatal, and I will turn 80 a month from now and am still working--voluntarily, rather from need, fortunately. I would say that my family has seen all aspects of aging this year.
I turned 50 this year - I have five children and three grandchildren. My ex joined a QAnon type Christian cult 10 years ago and I lost my 20 year marriage and kids. They refuse to even speak to me. I will have absolutely no help. I have accepted I will die alone. (Though I am remarried, we are both are realistic about life and economics.) I helped care for my mother and father. My mother was completely independent until her stroke 5 years ago at 76 and she passed away peacefully and in full control of her mind 9 months later. Regretfully, she never made it back home where she wanted to be. My father died this winter at 82 from covid after almost two decades of increasing health problems. His death was more tragic. My siblings did okay but we could not get on the same page about care and facing it all squarely. This is an important documentary.
I am caring for my 90 y.o. mother. She has loss of sight, loss of hearing, is incontinent, arthritis, cannot walk, and kidney issues. She is still lucid and we can have conversations. Her mother lived to 94. My Aunt, her sister, passed suddenly in March at the age of 88 walking to her car to drive to someone's funeral. That's how i want to go.
My mother died in home hospice care, with her kids taking care of her basic needs. We had morphine for her pain and were told to use it liberally. We did and she padded peacefully in her sleep. Her last day or two she went downhill. But until then she was lively mentally, so she could enjoy conversations with her friends and family. Her passing was peaceful and a quick, after just a day or two of needing complete care. At home.
The morphine is what killed hurt most likely. Its brutal Hospice did that to my mother I would not recommend using Hospice or morphine it's a horrible way to die.
@@MrTweetyhack Your daughter is flying in from California tomorrow, and we have to keep you alert so she can say "Good-bye" to you. How about some Tylenol instead?
Only the rich and the Medicaid poor can have the luxury of 24/7 in home care. The working class employees paid taxes all their life and can't afford this care.
As a cancer survivor, that beat cancer in my 20s. I think about this a lot. I'm in my 30s now but the treatments or "cure" left my scared and with disabilities for the rest of my life. I was young and had a family of my own so the choice to fight was trivial for me. What I noticed while sitting in the chemo loungers was that almost everyone in those rooms were quite old. If I had cancer in my 70s idk if I would have chosen to fight. I think about those people that I sat with, and I wonder what their quality of life is like these days?
Many older people who survive cancer treatments get a handful of years in which they do pretty well. The long term effects of treatment won't happen for them; they don't live long enough to develop the conditions that have or will come for you. Their definition of functioning is far lower than someone in their 20s and 30s. Because of this, they don't see their limitations as severe. Their limitations are also seen in their peers, unlike people in their 20's. Their friends also use walkers or wear out early in the day. They don't need to be employed, they aren't raising kids. They can see their quality of life as equal to their spouse or their peers, and that means a lot psychologically.
My Dad was 79 when diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He was well into the 3 sigma result of less than 1.4% of people being that old and living a happy life and moving around without any aid. Even with full attempts of chemo and the like to save him, he was dead in 7 months. My mom suffered for a year on dialysis treatments that were just as miserable to her. I don't understand why we try so hard to keep people alive that are so clearly suffering and we have no clear cure in sight for them...
There are effective treatments and even cures for many of the things we suffer from, but we are prevented from accessing them either because the government has made them illegal, insurance companies refuse to pay for them, or doctors are afraid to prescribe them for fear of losing their licenses because of our crooked, profit-driven sick-care industries. 😱
Your parent's providers did not tell them the truth about what their future would hold. It was all known. All the likelihood of suffering and the small chance that treatment would give them a decent quality of life. Simply put, you have to FORCE providers to tell you the truth. Then you make the hard decisions.
There is another good documentary with Dr. Atul Gawande, a famous author and surgeon, where he talks about how hard it is even for doctors to talk honestly with patients about their death.
one word. money. i have a stepmom deep into dementia. years of expensive care so someone can live a sad ending of confusion and fear the basically comatose
@@caseylm100 Exactly! 🥺 The sad part is that the greed for profit no matter what the cost to our health caused this! Dementia is the “New Norm” that was tare a few generations ago! People lived longer in many cultures, and at ripe old ages they still had their cognitive functions, and many were physically functional as well. Not the case for most people anymore! 😥😱
When I worked with nursing home residents, the number one thing people regretted doing, was not having traveled enough and enjoyed life more when they were younger. No one said making more money.
When I worked in a nursing home they said the same to me, one man told me he never drank much went to bed early and he said look at me now I’m alone and all my friends are gone, he wished he had more fun in his life
@@harmonyrose13 And I'm sure his drunk friends had a really nicetime slowly dying, but earlier. We all go. It's okay to want to live a healthy life. That man has a family, no? That's the issue. The family left him behind and THAT'S why he's alone, not because he went to bed early.
As "Living Old" becomes newly available on our channel, America’s geriatric population is still growing and still facing many of the same challenges. READ MORE: www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/aging-living-old-geriatrician-shortage/
Please humans should stop having kids no matter what. Our potential offsprings deserve better than this life. Nobody deserve to suffer like this worse than any injustices ❤ as the solar system age, the planet ages, even if humans keep passing seeds onto consequent generations the quality of life is degrading with technology emissions, radiation etc.
This is a horrific video of some deviant monsters implying that we should annihilate old people in the disguise to spare them from their suffering, when in fact to get rid of their burden.
@@DX-dYou are absolutely right.
COVID and nursing homes, and some governors did nefarious things to a lot of the elderly. Sickening.
When Maggie (my 14 year old dog a rescue raised from a pup) I plan to hit the animal shelter and hopefully find a middle age or older dog. I've rescued a few of them that the owners passed or went to nursing homes. Maybe they rescued me?
My mother is 93 .I'm taking care of her in her own home.Shes a great mother and human being.She took great care of me and now I take care of her.Full circle.
❤
May God bless you and your Mother. Thank you for being a good son to her. 💙
I was a full-time caregiver for my mom for 7 years. She passed at home with me holding her hand. The last year or so was a long and difficult time, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat. She was the most caring, generous, giving person I've ever known. I miss her dearly. God bless you and your mother. Enjoy every day and have meaningful conversations with her as long as you're able to.
Me, too. Amen
My mom is 93 too 😮 my sister and nieces are taking of her now, she lives in Arizona too 😲
To every "young" person watching this video, please appreciate every moment of your life ... appreciate your vision, hearing, sense of taste and touch. Appreciate the ability to use your limbs effectively.
Avoid excessive indulgences in your youth that can impact the quality of life in the twilight years!
@Frontline PBS, thanks for calling our attention to our collective plight!
Nothing has been done though. This aired in 2006, and the situation now has only become worse.
@@RT-qd8yl it's still a wake-up call to those who haven't reached that vulnerable stage yet. To recognize the stark reality ahead!
Agreed! And I always tell people to resolve old arguments with your parents (and others) and spend all the best time you can with them. Cherish them. Though of course some parents and children are not great people. Overall we often lose our parents far too soon and have regrets and rue the lost time and memories we could have had. Many arguments that seemed important seem petty and worthless after it's too late.
Agreed.
I always tell young people ‘Don’t take advantage of your youth’
My 94 year old father lived at home and got to die,probably from a stroke, in front of his TV watching Judge Judy. My brother found him soon after he died because he was still a little warm and his coffee was hot. Good for you Dad.
I'm sure Judy was on high volume too🤠
My Grandfather passed away almost the same way! Feet up on the ottoman watching CNN. When I was in his apartment to clean up everything days later, I turned on the stereo and "I will leave you softly" by Frank Sinatra started to play. I sat down and cried my eyes out!
God bless, what a sweet way to go.
I want to sleep
@@2NDCBT😢😮
My 89-year-old aunt lived a full, rich life. She survived a heart attack, a stroke, diabetes and was mentally sharp until the end. She decided to check out and entered hospice when a string of painful chronic conditions sapped the joy out of life...stopped taking her meds, said her goodbyes to loved ones, and peacefully drifted off in her sleep. She was a strong woman who took control of her life and her death.
I’m 89 yrs old & don’t have much quality of life anymore. I wish I could just go peacefully to sleep, forever. Bless your Aunt.
@@marciastewart1527my favorite lady is 100, she'll be 101 in April, and she still has her mind, play cards, love music, she participates in every activity at the asisted living she is at, I worked there for 15 years, I recently retired and I am still in touch with her, 89 is still young she would say, blessings to you ❤️
q
I'm in my 80s and think we need to reassess aging with dignity options. When I can no longer prepare the food I like to eat, take walks, and continue to write, I'm out of here! Thank God for Fentanyl. A voluntary overdose should be easy to obtain. We're old, trust us to make wise decisions! Goodnight Moon...
@@olivehuss8270u r so right. We are soul mates about this
One of the biggest shocks to me as I aged poorly, was deciding if I could get another pet, wondering if he would outlive me, and how to assure his continued good care if I pass before him. It really brought home mortality to me.
I love my little schnauzer at 74 years old and I honestly don't think I can go on if she dies. Then.... I'd be doing the same math as you "Hmmmm.... How many more years of independence with a new friend?" Or, maybe we should focus on rescuing aging older dogs who will pass with us?
@@kippywylie I rescued a young dog because he was going to be euthanized. I figured that even if the very worst happened, he would have more years than if I had left him. There are also rescue organizations that will help find your dog a home if you predecease them. You can have an agreement with them that they will care for your dog when you can't. So don't give up on having another dog. You just have to do your research about how they will be cared for after you are gone.
@@kippywylie I couldn't agree more. the older animals need loving homes.
My latest dog is 6 yrs old (I'm 76). My daughter and SIL have promised to take my pets if I am gone or unable. I also have a 10 yr old cat.
I have had dogs and cats all my life. I cannot imagine a life without a fur baby beside me. This I fear the most about aging.
This is spot on. I'm a caregiver for my 86 year old mother with Alzheimer's. It just seems cruel to outlive your brain.
Thank you for saying this from caregiver's perspective. See my comment.
@mustafamuse643 that may be true for those that believe that. The issue is your mind failing you before your go.
@gissellest333 sorry for your loss.
@@mustafamuse643 Yes, but you must also know that many will go to the devil.
@@mustafamuse643 Like the native Americans say, "life is about responsibility."
The fact that we get free documentaries on UA-cam by FRONTLINE PBS is truly a gift. 👏👏👏
May I also remind you the fact that our Native American population in our motherland, the Continent of America before the European Colonizers arrived, was around 15 millions, while the European population in their motherland, the Continent of Europe was around 25 millions.
Today, Native American population is 15 million, while the European population, in the Continents of America + Europe, is a staggering TWO BILLION! A shocking sad truth. 😔
In my humble opinion, it's about time to decolonize the Colonized lands, and return it to rightful owners Native American people.
Notorious global cardinal crimes the Christian West has committed, and benefited a great deals, such as Slavery & Colonialism had long been over, why on earth is notorious Colonization still lingering on, may I ask? 😔🤷
This is an old documentary from 2006.
@@jdenino6022 End of life has stayed pretty much the same. If they made it today there might be more of a discussion of euthanasia as an option, but on the whole it holds up wonderfully.
Free? Wow, you caught a strong case of the stupid.
@@aprilmay1700 Sure, but I object to these outfits continuing to be making money on works by long dead music composers, artists, writers, and movies that are from the 1940s and 1950s that long ago paid for themselves and made a huge profit
@repentandbelieveinJesusChrist4 OK GROOMER
This triggered so many emotional memories. I was very fortunate to care full time for my 103 year old father at my childhood home. He had all his mental and physical ability so it was not a mental and physical drain for me. The last three months he knew it was time but it was hard for me to accept. My parents loved me so much I always knew I would be the sibling to be his full time caretaker. I seen my selfish friends put their parents in nursing homes and walk away. This was something I adamantly refused to do.
The one of the most beautiful thing in life for me was the metamorphosis of son becoming the parent and father the son and seeing his soul passing to heaven to be with my mother.
What was his food choices
How beautiful
God bless you
God Speed... Happy you appreciated, had that time....
Those that don't often are either fearful or not really in good relationships with their families!
very well said. You did the right thing and i'm sorry for your lost.
My grandmother was a hospice nurse and my dad a nurse turned funeral director. They both have said, “When it comes to end of life..there are worse things than death.”
So true. I don't want to be a burden to my children so I will take myself off the board if I become infirm.
My father is a doctor. That is the reason he knew to put my mother on hospice rather than have surgery on her broken hip. She was already very diminished by Alzheimer's and was not a good candidate for rehab. Sometimes, the best choice is to let nature take its course. Quality of life matters more than length of life.
My grandmother died a few months ago at only 80 and I feel robbed of the additional three, five, eight potential years ahead of them. I'm sorry for your loss.
Very reasonable plan.
I can't agree more on your last statement. Why strive to stretch out life when quality of life has diminished?
I disagree with your last statement in that it should be up to the individual assuming they have capacity to make that sort of decision. I'm not going to tell a family member no, you're not going to get a procedure just because I think that it won't go well. Now it's a different situation, if the person doesn't have the capacity to make the decision. This is why we have HC POAs. But no I'm never going to tell my family that they can't have a procedure done. Sorry its their choice.
These in 80's and 90's now will be our oldest generation. We will start going the other way after this group.
ISN'T IT MURDER WHEN A PERSON'S OXYGEN IS TAKEN AWAY, MEDS NOT GIVEN TO THEM, REFUSING TO FEED THEM-STARVATION! IS THIS NOT MURDER? 😮😮😮
The doctors and nurses who care for elderly people have my utmost admiration and respect.
Thank you, Frontline, for sharing this touching video.
Dont be fooled, they want you to say okay to euthanasia.
Caregivers too
The caregivers do ALL the work. If you find a home health aid or nursing aid you like, treat them like gold.
@@FLUFFYCAT_PNW Yes, caregivers too. I count caregivers as nurses. Even if they are family members who take care of a person, they are performing a nurse’s job.
Beware! Not all caregivers even nurses would handle your old folks with care. Once you delivered them in nursing home, you don’t know what they are going thru in the hands of those so called caregivers! So many unreported cases of abuse in nursing homes.@@zakatista5246
I blink and I am 64, time goes very quickly. Enjoy your youth, travel, see the world.
I'm gonna have to stop you there. What is youth if you're always plagued by acne? Depression? And to top it off, what is youth if you live in a world plagued by technology which in turn is worse when it comes to socialization? I try to be optimistic but all this shit eventually gets to you.
@@laprechaun12maybe you would understand more if you volunteer helping an elderly relative or neighbour twice a month. It may help you with your depression.
@@laprechaun12
Put your phone down. Go outside, go visit an elderly neighbor and volunteer to help them mow their lawn, clean their house. Just get away from the technology.
As far as acne goes, quit sugar and fried foods, and possibly even all dairy. My son at 16 quit dairy and his bad acne went away.
I'm here at 63
What if I only want to travel the United States and not see the world. We have the internet to see the world now. If I go out of the country, It will be to go live in Spain. But there really is no excuse for the elderly to complain. If they are suffering, it's because they didn't take preventative measures.
My great aunt turned 92 in January and the crazy part is, she doesn’t look 92, she’s not senile, she’s attentive, lucid, walks with ease, doesn’t need or use a cane, wheelchair, or a walker, and has a decent memory, the only health problems she’s experiencing are problems with her digestive system. She’s outlived her husband (my great uncle) who passed away in Dec 2019 at 91 bc of old age and she is a living example that you can still be active into your 80s and 90s. God bless her!
It's potential, 90 looks different for alot of people and for some the 80s is descent but I've seen rapid decline once at 90
Bless her
I love that! She is truly blessed.
Indeed💖💖💖💖
My 93 year old mother is active, works part time, looks much younger, does aerobics and kick boxing. Lives alone with no assistance..old age is not the same for all people.
I was a nurse for over 40 yrs where the majority of our patients were geriatric …..the horrible situations I witnessed because relatives were not ready for them to go was depressing……their long chronic illnesses had put them in a very sad state yet the relatives wanted more done …easy to say when ur not the one suffering day after day …..the greatest love is to let them go when God is calling
Nurses aid in assistant living Oldest person I take care of is receiving physical therapy to get her strength back to be able to walk again she is 107 absolutely ridiculous family took her off hospice. Death has no mercy on elderly with good insurance.
I too was a nurse 40 years saw similar situations
just make sure your children or caregivers or surrogates know you do not want to live on with extreme procedures
@@mojojeinxs9960agreed
I think it needs to be up to the elderly person if they want to live. My mom wanted to live everyday of her life even in the circumstances you mentioned.
I've lived through all of this with my mom who passed at 93.5 years old. It reaches a point where the person is existing not living. There is no recovery. No cure for chronic conditions. But its a time to say goodbye, to have last moments, last photos, last videos. Time for everyone to let go. I did all caregiving in her home, then mine. Im grateful I was able to give her quality care, safety, surrounded by peace and love. It was also very challenging.
No cure. WRONG. Get off the Standard American Diet. Read a book called the Blue Zones. About the longest lived people on the planet, who have great life into their 80 90 100. Number one thing you can do is change what you eat.
NO CURE BULLSHIT.
Don’t ignore them then say you helped.
@@jenniferfrazier8131 hello Jennifer happy Sunday and how are you?
I've been at that point since my 30's
I am 75 and I am taking care my 38 yo son with Down Syndrome and autism. He lives at home with me and his dad who is 73. We are not alone in this. There are many of us out here doing this. We are all very worried and scared of what will happen to are sons or daughters after we are gone or can’t do the care taking any longer. I have numerous health problems as does my son. His care takes priority and caring for him. This is exhausting for us. There is little that is being done to address this issue. Will my daughter have her brother and her parents to look after plus her family? How can she possibly do that? My son has been in 3 different “group” homes. I can’t tell you how bad the care was. It was horrible. There are regulations by the state but they are under staffed and over worked. These homes can hire anyone off the street basically and train them for every thing including distributing meds. They don’t need any schooling or certificate to do this work. Recently they have been hiring mostly male African immigrants who barely speak English. They don’t know how to cook or clean and when I would try to talk to them they did not know what I was talking about. I did address my concerns with administration but it went nowhere. Basically hiring is tight and these are most of the applicants the get. If they do not hire them they will be short staffed and have to close. That results in what happens to the residents living there and lost revenue for the owners. In this past house my son was abused 3 x. My son, in three years, gained almost 40 pounds, he is now short of breath all the time, has a cpap he refuses to wear and severe obstructive sleep apnea and is dealing with cervical dystonia. We are working on all these
health issues plus our own health issues that seem to take a back seat to his. Between him and myself one of us is going to the doctor every week.
This is a huge issue for many of us out here and it goes totally unrecognized. Also as our sons and daughters get older, services become fewer and fewer. It is hard to find physicians, specialists or providers who have knowledge or skill to work with special needs. Their health issues are many times unique to their disability. Finding help is harder and harder if not impossible. So as my husband and I are going through our 70’s, headed to our 80’s, we are caring for our son who is 38 who is unable to care for himself. I take care of him like I would a young child and when he has a bowel movement, I must still wipe his butt and I also have to shower him. All this care does not address all the paperwork we are required to fill out for the courts. We must do a yearly report for the court’s and account for every penny of the money he receives from the government. Coming in and going out had better balance too and all receipts must be saved.
Organizations, businesses and the general population have absolutely no idea this goes on unless you have a family member dealing with this.
No one is really dealing with these issues and the elderly that are taking care there sons and daughters with significant needs. There are waiting lines to get into a group homes, all are full and turn over doesn’t happen quickly. Add to this the poor regulations for training and hiring staff. One reason for this hiring issue is what they pay them. It is squat for what is expected of them. You get what you are willing to pay for.
Also about 10 years ago my parents were aging, sick and then passed away. Along with taking care of my son and working I helps take care of them. My mom passed first at the age of 86 and about 4 years later my dad at 93 got cancer. He was very ill because it went undiagnosed for so long. He never realized he was so ill until it was all through his body. When he got sick he came and stayed in our home. Seems like everyday we were going to the doctor. I even gave up my bed for him until we could get a hospital bed. That came in the day he passed. He was here for about 4 months before he passed, in my bed and surrounded by all his kids but one.
As a 75 yo woman I have no idea what it feels like to be taken care of or nurtured. Since my son was born 38 years ago, my life changed forever. My commitment went to my son who would forever be a child and my other children. Those children have grown and have life’s and families of their own as it should be but not true for my other son. Don’t get me wrong, I love my son more than I could ever explain to anyone. He has taught me a lot too about life and people and given me new perspective even with regard to my faith. I cannot tell you all how lonely of a life this is. Unless you have actually walked in our shoes you will never know. That is fact! They closed institutions and hospitals, which is exactly the right thing to do. Children with special needs and disabilities now live with their parents and other sibs. The family dynamic in that household will be very far from what the “norm” is. It is what it is, the child cannot be “fixed”, and will be dependent on the parents until the time the parents pass or the child passes.
So what they didn’t do after closing those institutions and hospitals was plan for what would happen now to these children and the people responsible for caring for them. The system is totally underfunded. However the quality of these children is 150% better as they are loved and living with their family and being treated as a human being. Imagine what the government saves in $$$ by closing these institutions and hospitals. It had to be very expensive to run plus the quality of life for the people was so bad, there was no quality. In the institution that closed in our area there are unmarked graves and no one knows who is buried there. So sad that this is what was done to a segment of our society.
Overall it is a shame how the most weak and vulnerable in our society are treated and cared for. We could be doing so much better than we are but we don’t.
Yours was a very long text but I read every word to the end. My heart goes out to you! My goodness, how overwhelming.
Thank you for bravely sharing what your lives are like.🙏
I have a 74 year old friend whose son was born 35 years ago with Downs and I watched her go through him having a bag that had to be changed several times a day. The things she went through to get him good care was incredible. At age 8 he was able to get surgery and the bag was removed which gave her alot more freedom. She had two older kids too. She moved across country to be around family which was good for her. Lucky for her she has no health issues at the time but is single. Her son is stable with a mental state of about a 7 year old. He is happy and I hope both of them stay healthy. I can't imagine the stress you have endured. And you are right ..these mentally challenged children are very loving people. They deserved to be treated as valuable human beings because they are...Wishing you all the best.
I am a female 70 years old with a special need son 43 with metal problems some other things. I care for him at home, he is able to walk and get and out of tub. Does feed himself. Which is a blessing, but still is hard some day's.
Impressive. Thank you for sharing this and raised awareness about how aging looks like for people living with or taking care of people with special needs
Thank you for telling us about your experience. My grandson is autistic. Not a day passes that I don't think about his future and his parents. Prayers to you and all who support you 🙏.
I run a nursing home and all of my residents range in age from 92-101 years. My medical director is a minimalist in medication intervention and only prescribes the most necessary of drugs. He’s extremely involved in their needs and care and doesn’t just come in and prescribe to treat a minor issue. We all work as a team and treat everyone like they are family and they truly become family. We interact and spend 1 on 1 time. I truly believe that frequent interaction, encourage regular exercise, spending time actually talking with them and staying engaged with their needs and interests, keeping family involved with care along with the physician. I take great pride in being able to say my residents are an entire group of centurions. The physician jokingly states he doesn’t know what we are doing and it’s impressive that the entire group is 90+. I just tell him we care.
Many nursing homes have people in their 60's , 70's and 80s, some are even in their early 30s , 40s and 50s, they can go on outings, and enjoy the outdoors, the food is pretty good, and watch old movies., they have free maid service. I visited one for 20 years almost every day, had a family member there. the activities were pretty good, entertainment and bingo.
If I ever make it to an age where I get put in your home, could you just put one in my head? Save everyone the time and money and most importantly I don't want it...
My comment is for the nursing home.
Continue to do the excellent job you are doing.
May God bless you and your staff.
I'm curious where your nursing home is at and how much you charge for your care.
@@ILikeMyYT123 my daughter spent 20 years in a nursing home, in New York, she was 18 when she had a cardiac arrest, she came home said she could not breathe, I gave her a nebulizer treatment, she had alcohol and drugs in her system, I did not know, she could not talk walk blind feeding tube wheelchair for 20 years, I visited her almost every day, took her home for visits, mall , movies , helped with her care, she died at the age of 38 in 2017, she was on Medicaid 100 per cent covered 😥
Just lost my mom at 99. This was exactly her story… she lingered with all her chronic diseases. It was heartbreaking.
Same. My Grandma made it to 105. She was was slowly dying and miserable for 15 years. I was pretty much the only one that looked in on her. So I got to see the whole descent. Grandma just stopped being Grandma after a while. It was kind of a relief when she finally passed away.
@@directAction3389my mother wants to die she has so many medical issues.
I mean. SHE WAS 99.........
Living to 100 is good only if you age well otherwise it's just a slow, painful wait.
I feel you my mother was very sick like super I'll and died in her mid 40's it happened in 2021, i miss her everyday i was 20-21 at the time
My Mom was in hospice care for a few short days as she was at the end of her life from metastatic cancer. As a nurse I watched the nurses who were more compassionate and kind than I could’ve ever known tenderly caring for her. My mother passed away from a horrible disease. May she rest in peace, I loved her so much! 🙏✝️❤️
Hello there,I’m Christian roerbeck Tammy from Copenhagen…I came across your page here through the utube suggestion for me,how are you?
May every nurse and caregiver who has had the kindness of heart to offer tender care to a total stranger, even when no one was looking, find even more kindness for their caregivers in their time of need.
We appreciate you and your care more than most of us can ever articulate during those sickest or weakest moments when you care for us.
Mine too this year. Miss her so much😔
I CARE FOR MY MOM 93 AND MAKE THE BEST OF US. SENIOR TAKING CARE OF ANOTHER SENIOR😅. 🎉
@@potterylady44 hello there good morning and a beautiful Sunday to you
I've met elders in retirement homes that want to live no matter what. Met some who are ready to go but say for some reason they keep waking up in the morning. Even met one who planned to go out by medical because was tired of dealing with cancer. I believe all of their choices should be respected
What a heartfelt, brutally honest look at aging and how it affects the family and the aging parent. Thank you so much for taking such a difficult topic and addressing these issues.
Yes Instead of saying to kill elderly it just gives the pros & cons very thought provoking at 40 yrs old I need dnr& life insurance
Too bad this is almost 17 years old…out of date. An updated version would be nice. This crisis is already here and we’re in the middle of it. US healthcare sucks.
Here is your update. They are in the streets dying and cars and RVs. Predatory capitalism has evicted many from their homes and apts
Yes 17 years worse
but that was an excellent comment
They could have Kass on. He's 84 now -- let's see if he's still in favor of not giving seniors the support they need.
Its good at one thing keeping people "alive" 💰💰💰
US sick care, I wish we had a genuine healthcare system
I'm 95 and mowed an acre of difficult lawn a couple of days ago. I force myself to walk with my walker. The thing is that I feel this time to be a wonderful part of my life. I travel far and wide every day, via my computer and the internet. I can look into any subject I want and learn new stuff. I am socially active on email, Facebook, etc. The thing that I believe helped me is when I joined a certain church, in 1953, and stopped smoking, drinking alcohol, I even stopped drinking coffee. I can remember things I experienced all the way back since I was two years old. Honest. I have loved the life I have experienced. I can't begin to remember the names of all my great grandchildren. I also have three great great grandchildren. Having said the above, it has not all been peaches and cream. But whose life has. I look forward to going through the veil of life to be with my departed loved ones, which I know will happen.
You are very beautiful person from inside and out, I've been a care giver for 27 years I read you as a loving person and fun to hangout, I'm almost 57 years old working as a care giver in a nursing home and little sweet ladies like you make me want to continue doing what I do for a living. I love where my heavenly father has place me. May the Lord continue blessing you with strength and courage. Thanks for your inspirational.sincerely Martha💜
@@viviendoalpresupuesto6926Can you literally not tell by the name that it isn't a lady?
@@Kaledrone😅
God bless you. Im 72 yo & wouldn’t want to mow the lawn. I do cycle 3 to 4 times a week 10 mi. I stopped drinking & smoking when I was 39 yo.
@@uwsgrrrl9981 Not drinking and smoking is huge. I never drank or smoked. I am 52, a health nut. I speed skate a 20 mile round trip nature path every other day. I feel great after it. I also do moderate strength training. Good lifestyle, diet, etc. can greatly improve your fate later in life. Nothing is 100%, but there are women in their 80s on YT lifting weights.
This was originally aired in 2006. Now, all the elderly filmed in here are long gone RIP 😢😢
Bless em all! 💜🌸❤️
Caring elderly parents is much harder than caring babies. Especially with dementia patients who lose their mind
My 85-year old mother has dementia and it's scary. I really feel for her as she did not deserve this.
😢❤🥀
Life is not meant to be easy 😮
@@Jacqueline-vr5re Indeed, and it's not. Which is why we have compassion on those suffering.
Oh, much harder than a baby. Just with their weight alone.
As a 55 year old, what you are telling me is that it is better to die at 64 like my father than to live long enough to falll victim to corporate medical injustice.
Yep. My dad died from a massive heart attack at age 60. Thankfully, he didn't have to go thru any of this
Age 62 is the age that most people go into the Emergency Room with a Heart Attack or Stroke. Many go in the front door by an ambulance and out the back door in a hearse.
Be happy if that's not you.
Today, many people never see the
age of 55. Others are expecting to
live to 120.
I'm leaning more towards sooner than later.
@philipharned2794 My doctor told me watch the prostate and chloresterol. Otherwise, I'm in excellent health at 69. He was surprised and I'm wondering why. You are correct, most die young.
Best comment thus far👍
As a healthcare provider, I will say that I believe that we are keeping people alive for too long. Longevity is not everything, if you are lonely, sick, miserable and in pain. Decreased hearing, vision, mobility and cognitive ability: these are all awful, but combined, they are truly unbearable. I know that most people want to live as long as possible, or so they think, but I cared for a 92-year-old who was in despair that she had lived so long. All family and friends gone, unable to find any joy. It is sad.
I'm 91 years old and got all my marbles. I live alone in my home and can take care of all my needs. I can still drive and my son drops by every now and then to see if I'm still alive. My 76 year old wife is still alive and lives in her own country. I am an introvert and she is an extrovert.
wow you surprised with your comment, you are at home while your wife lives in another country? kudos to you, you are a brave and strong man , I am assuming you are some sort of artist because of being introvert, have a nice day @@howellwong11
@@howellwong11and?
Nurses aid in assistant living. Witness too many forced into physical therapy at 90 plus why? . 107 yr old currently is doing physical therapy her family wants her to walk more don't want her in a wheelchair. The poor women!! Elderly are cash cows for medical facilities long-term care facilities pharmaceutical and medical equipment companies. Keeping people alive into their late 90's and over is very profitable. The more frail the better just keep them breathing.
@@SyonisMacias ,.....,and consider myself a lucky sob. You are just envious and afraid.
I have tried to watch this twice but i cannot finish it. It breaks my heart to see old people in pain. And it makes me face my own mortality.
Both of my parents died in their 70's. I hope to go during that time in my life as well. No nursing home, or extreme care. There are worse things than death.
Me too.
**Yes, some of us ,Our body is so very worn out long b4 it's time tho n we non-Stop Go,go,go all our lives even as kids were caring for or helping do, build, Put something heavy like Car n Trucks back together n it's🚫 fair to us also 🙄💭❗... It's challenges daily for even basic care n needs (Shower store n cook, or Shower, dr., n Dinner, or see grandchildren, do something fun n memories , even baking cookies or going to a festival or school play n awards ceremony with them in elementary school 🏫 ) is the dilemma 💔 n a 6 yr old tells me " I 🚫 care what you 👀💭 look like NaNa, jus come" 😢 really is 💔❗., yes a Prisoner in our own body👀💭😢❗... Being trapped , n the ailments n pain, 😮over n over takes a toll on your mind too❗... My kids 🚫 understand, Cause even I 🚫 Myself 🙄💭❗... I n my kids took care of my mom 11 yrs. N daddy for 3 yrs. They passed 8 months apart, my kids were all latter teens, 18, 16,15, n 13 😢❗... They never ever 🚫 Had a overnight vacation cause I had mom n dad n I promised em I'd be happy to 😊take care of em, n I/We ❤'d it most days but it was horrible in latter time sadly mom was 66 n bed to chair 10 yrs. Dad was 76 n had mini strokes n diabetes, till when he had major stroke, he 🤕🚫Understand n forget he couldnt walk, Get up at nite to try n go bathroom instead of telling me n fell n broke his hip 😮😢❗.. I'll🚫 forgive myself for it, n having to be the 1 to do as mom asked n pull the plug 😢😠❗... It echoes some days but mom did have a DNR in place but for 3 days she suffered tremendously but dad 🚫 complained n jus went to sleep beside me n 🚫 wake up for 2 days 😢😇❗... I know its scary sometimes myself n Im very limited to 2 things in a day or I'm down for 3 days in bed, Im only 51🙄⌛❗.. Tests are bein done but The outcome 🚫 change the body I've grown to know but 🚫 ever get use to 😢😠😮
My husband has different types of diagnosis n I have taken care of em 3 yrs. already ❤, Mental health becomes evident 😮😢 on the daily now n has for sometime ✨🕯✨, So sorry I jus did a mental dump 😮 on ya, your comment jus hit home ❤ with me so thank you to anyone who reads this n have a blessed day, evening , where ever ya are 👋😇**
I hear so many people say, oh 70 or 75 is so young still, I’m like no it’s not 80 we’re pretty much done, there’s some people who are blessed with god health through their 80s but most are not. I’m ready to go when it’s my time, I damn sure don’t want nursing home or to be a burden ♥️
Both my parents also died in their early 70s. Sadly, my dad developed vascular dementia so his last few years were awful. I want to live until my early 80s. I hope I make it.
@@wontbefooledagain9400 speak for yourself, I'm 73 and my biggest health issue is getting my pullup count higher. I can move a mound of snow as big as a pickup truck in an hour by myself. Not everyone ages the same and some of us have taken good care of ourselves most of our lives.
This documentary was an early warning, and now it's my reality. I'm in my mid-40s and have been taking care of my aging parents on some level for the past fifteen years, most of it as primary care after they both had debilitating cardiopulmonary problems.
Our society needs to wake up to the fact that there are more people like myself who are giving up their personal aspirations to care for disabled elders. It's a stifling burden that will take all to heavy a toll on elders and caregivers alike.
I was 26 when I took care of my ill mother. It really does take a toll on a person.
In Switzerland there is legal places whom put you to sleep after arranging your funeral where ever you wish to be buried , it's legal if you have chronic health issues like depression , cancer other type illnesses ect... Doctor Ludwig used to be the director but you can find them online.
Do you own assets?
Wow… the only sad part of this post is that the generation that’s old (mine = aka Boomers) has raised such selfish children. I didn’t have kids and clearly didn’t miss anything. I don’t think they would have been any different than you are. Glad I didn’t have selfish children who don’t value their elders. In other societies, for example, India, children honor their parents by touching their feet. In japan, they always shake hands with the eldest first, and the eldest approaches the younger person. Americans lack respect for the wisdom we have as an older generation. You will see one day when your own children throw you away like garbage. It will be your own karma.
@@timmyjones1921 you will be surprised how many people in China are considering going to swizerland to end their lives when we get old.
Inside of every 80 year old man is an 18 year old kid asking, "What the hell happened?"
Wow! This video first aired in 2006 (17 yrs ago). The information is very much in tune with what my sister, brother, & I are dealing with in caring for our elderly mother now. In 2006 she was still well & totally independent. In 2013, she had a stroke and all of our lives changed drastically, to say the least. I'll spare the details, but my younger sister (who isn't paid via Medicaid as a caregiver because my mom draws too much from Social Security in the state of Georgia) gave up her job to be mom's caregiver. All three of us have to pitch in to make it work. It is stressful, people, but we love mama.
Georgia stinks when it comes to benefits. I cared for my Mother til she became wheelchair bound and I couldn't anymore but I see her regularly at the nursing home which is five miles from me.
My sister has a 54 year old friend who took care of his mom who died 6 months ago. He took care of her for 7 years in a two bedroom apt. that her social security check paid for. He did not get paid by medicaid. He got a job after she died but then got laid off and was unable to find another. He got evicted and had to put things in storage. The guy has one pair of pants, one shirt, one pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt. He has been staying with my sister and I now for 3 months while he gets on his feet again. He basically had put his life on hold for seven years. He has no family and no children. I am concerned for him because he takes terrible care of himself and eats nothing but processed foods. The food in our U.S. grocery stores is terrible for you unless it is organic. We need to educate parents and kids on the danger of eating and drinking things with all these horrible chemicals in them. Maybe then we might see people live healthier and happier lives.
This is so depressing to watch. I’m 72 years old, divorced with no children and retired in Europe as my pension wasn’t enough to live in the States. It has been a wake up call to me to start thinking seriously about becoming too old to care for myself. Other than a bad knee, I’m in good shape, on no meds, eat well and am not overweight. I walk with my dogs for 1,5 hours each day. It’s not aerobic but I’m moving! I figure that my organs will be in good shape and so will leave my body to a medical university here. I really don’t want to keep living if I can’t manage on my own but this country has no programs for just letting ppl die. I think they have a no resuscitation order, at least I hope. Watching this has made me see that I don’t want to live just to be alive. And what a burden it is on society as well. God bless the doctors in this documentary; they seemed like such caring doctors, rare these days.Thank you for uploading.
The nursing home where I work in Georgia charges 5k a month for no care independent apartment, 8k a month for assisted living and 11k a month for "memory care" when you talk to curtains, don't know who you are or anybody else and often relive past trauma. Seems like money poorly spent. The people caring for them certainly aren't seeing any of it
Why bother going to the u.s.?? Go to a Latin country. Cost of living is much less. 🙏
As a old man one of the few things that scare me is ending up in some state funded hellhole being spoon fed by someone who makes min wage. Please Lord take me before that happens.😢
Same
Praise God, I'm going to punch my own ticket.
🙏
Most nursing homes don't bother to spoon feed the patient.
most nursing homes will not spoon feed their patients, they just use feeding tubes bevause they are understaffed and the owners are greedy businessmen. these state funded nursing homes are scam places, storages, $$$ makers. theyre not rehab places, at least in the US. in fact, healthcare in the US is a scam, thats why american doctors are wealthy, they provide very low quality care for a very high price. retire abroad, get your social securiry check somewhere else where human lives are still respected.
I am a geriatric nurse who is retired…. I watched and held the hands of many people who left this earth in pain..No family was there for some of them….I still believe in Dr.Kavorkian….To some people that sounds like suicide but to those of us caring for these precious people who die in pain and loneliness it is a way to leave this earth with dignity and pain free…. You might change your mind if you knew what I have seen…😢😢😢😢
Instead of intervention to preserve life, maybe just hospice with morphine instead of murdering ones self.
I read about these stories of these older people who have worthless children that don't come to visit, it's sickening.
@@beatrixbrennan1545absolutely
I’ve been a nurse for almost 40 years and have worked geriatrics, hospice and psych. Hospice/palliative care - NOT euthanasia
Who are you to decide? You're not God. Every person matters. It will be you one day and you'll say, oh,oh
I’m 80 yrs old now. I am dealing with chronic conditions and I figured out that we weren’t meant to live this long with such reduced functionality. Fortunately, I still have mobility with a cane, I can drive as well as I ever did, my mind is just as alert as it ever was. For 23 years, I’ve had a much younger husband who helps me everyday. I’m lucky, but I don’t like that I have limitations. I now want to get all my things in order because I don’t know how much time I have left. Yet, I still have dreams and plans and I wonder if I will be able to realize them. Life is weird now.
if you have your mind and can walk even with a cane you're good!
God bless you
I hate the limitations. I am too young to feel so fragile, since I have these broken parts and cannot drive until they heal. Only 76.
My grandmother was stolen from us at only 80, and it is hard for me to go on without her.
When my mom begged me to help her end her own suffering, full of cancer, that was one of the toughest moments in our life together. I wish she had have this choice. On the other hand life is ending for most of us in pain. And part of life is suffering. In my mind I cannot believe I was feeling so paradoxical. I placed my mom in hospice. To support a safe and peaceful passing, without machines, without intervention. My own family did not understand but to me that is the best I could do for my mom to help her dying at least in dignity. Loved ones having the space to say their goodbyes. It was a very insightful experience. And I kept thinking. When I am old and sick, I want to die in hospice. We need a lot more hospice and that way would be offering a lot more quality and peace at one’s end.
Totally agree.
You did the right thing. I lost my 93 year old mother a year ago. Her time came, and to keep her alive with modern medical treatments would have prolonged her agony. It would have been a terrible disservice to her. She passed away peacefully in hospice
You made the right decision ❤
You did the compassionate thing for your mother❤️
I’m a retired nurse and I want to die is on hospice. I have seen many different ways to die, and the best way to die is on hospice.
@@lavenderhearts101What about assisted death instead of hospice? I hope that is available when my time comes.
My father died at home at the age of 95 in December of 2021. Near the end, we had to change his diapers. This documentary was watered down so it would not be too upsetting to the people who watched it. The problem is the shock of realizing you would have to do things that you never thought you would have to do. Colleges should have a short course where they teach people, and more importantly, expose people to the things that have to be done when people are dying.
May god bless you and your families. It is a good idea to include courses as you said in colleges. Children should have lessons on how to be a good child and how to care parents in their old age and share good habits with other students. There should be a mandatory Morale and Discipline exam and students should pass on this till they reach college. I strongly believe this will reduce violence in schools and colleges. Also students should be educated on the importance of why sex is secret and sacred. It is more painful than anything in this world that a parent holding his child on his lap feeling the pain of the child dying of drug issues.
My mom was a blessing to herself and all around. Died from a heart attack immediately, 85 years old and still walking every day to her Caffee and preparing her meals. 🙏🙏🙏
I have always LOVED the elderly. They have so much to teach us if we would only take the time to listen to them.
And many people in this country have no respect for them.
A haunting reality for a single person with no family. Excellent docu
Some of them could have 5 children, but if your children are crappy adults or may have died before the parents the end will be the same whether single, or widow, or have crappy children.
This reminds me of my grandmother's final years. She was almost 90 when she passed away. I remember her last few months when I had to put her in a full-time nursing home. One day, she looked at me and said, "look at me! I can't even walk anymore! This is no kind of life!" Her quality of life was not bringing her any joy. As a result, 6 months later, she passed in her sleep. In my heart, I know she deteriorated so quickly once she went into the nursing home. I decorated her room with household items and pics she created, and her favorite music. But in the end, she was finished and finally got to "go home" to be with her family. That gives me peace ❤
My Dad is 92 and my Mom is 89 next month. I talk to them on the phone twice a day, and I'm moving down to live near them 1,000 miles away next week. Due to my own serious health issues, I was not able to travel until very recently. Haven't seen them since before the pandemic. Prior to this, I saw them twice a year. I'm blessed that they're still here and that we can all be together instead of me just seeing them a few times a year until they're gone. Zero assistance whatsoever from my brothers, so I'm all alone with this. My dad is in excellent health, my mom had heart attacks years ago and multiple rounds with bladder cancer, but she is good now. I know at this age this can change at any moment. As much as I'm glad that we can spend some time together and I didn't miss this opportunity due to everything that happened during the pandemic, they got four vaccines and both got Covid, don't look forward to what is ahead of me. I am single and this is so hard.
I really feel for you! I left my home, 3 grown children and 8 grandchildren and went back to my hometown 4 hours away to take care of my dad. He’s 86 and I came March 14, 2023 and it’s Aug. 13, 2023. My dad has dementia of the Alzheimer’s type. My brother is here but works long hours and is in another state M-F and sometimes there a couple of nights a week. So he can’t always be here for dad’s appts. I’ve done every one of them. It’s a lot. I had not seen him in 4 years when my mother died and I came back for her funeral in June 2022. Had not seen her for 4 years either. I understand what ur going through.
Get support - period. Even if you feel your "fine". Strength to you! Re your brothers. Not much grooming of men to handle caregiving. I'm always shocked when I hear friends who are sending Dad to live with daughters. Dad may not feel comfy with daughter toileting him. Again, strength to you.
God bless you ❤
Give more time to visit them.. don’t make my mistake for not visiting my parents when they still in this world, now I always sad everytime I want to visit them but they are no longer here:(
I know what your are going thru I had 5 sibling when my mom got sick with cancer I was the only one who help her thru it. I resent the fact when asked if I had other sibling it was hard on me with no help from them. I just want to carry out my responsibity as her daughter in the bible where it says HONOR your MOTHER I did to her death if I do that GOD promise me long life as well so pray I mean get on your knees and help you to get thru this.❣
I’ve worked in a care home for nearly three years now so I experience this firsthand. It’s not all devastating though, there’s so much love and laughter these people can offer in a way you can’t experience in other profession. I genuinely love my residents and the work I do comes from that
Reply to@Tae - So glad to see your "positive" comnent. Because I have also worked assisting elderly folks, and I really cared for most of the folks I assisted. Seniors have a lot of wisdom and those that are still blessed with a good mind is great to be around them. I have a lot of respect for Seniors. And yes some of them are at times bitter, angry, or lonely. The lonely Seniors just breaks my heart, because many families (younger generations) are not there to visit with them, too busy. Praying 🙏 for all Seniors in our country for they still have a pulse. Still God's children.
This broke my heart. It is amazing that this aired in 2006 -- it is now 2023, and us kids that were born in the late 60's and early 70's are dealing with this with our parents. It makes me keenly aware of my own mortality. I have no kids and I am single -- who is going to care for me when I am my mother's age? I can only pray that I have continued mobility and health for a long time, my mind remains sharp and that I have an appreciation for the simple things in life -- watching a sunrise or sunset, reading books, and having a few good friends.
I'm 57 and I do have two young boys, both young teenagers. I don't want nor expect them to care for me when I'm older. I feel I'll be such a burden to them. Medicine has prolonged our lives though living longer into the 80s or even 90s doesn't mean it'll be a good life. We'll have a large population in their 80s with no one to care for them sad to say.
same here. no kids and I’m in my mid 50”s, my husband is in the 80’s. I have the option of going back to my country when the time comes but I really like it here medical care wise and the convenience of pretty much a lot of things better than where Im from. it is worrisome and doesn’t help when you already are prone to worry
I am in the same boat. I may move back to the country I came from because the nursing home and medical care are cheaper. My money may stretch longer.
I'm with you. Born in 68. I have my hands full with my parents
I am in the same boat. Tried to start a family 25 years ago but it didn’t happen. Now 61 and divorced and single. Thankfully I am in excellent health and in way better condition than 99% of my age group, but once one passes 60 there simply are no guarantees and life can change overnight.
Euthanasia needs to be an option for competent adults. I think it will inevitably become more widely available over the next 20 to 30 years as more and more people reach old age childless.
We cared for my Mother & Father to the end. 24/7 365 days a year.
It was the BEST thing we ever did. Never regret the 5 year’s of full time cooking, cleaning, Drs appointments, ER waiting 15 hours was a normal wait.
Learned a lot about my parents. They were married 70 years. ❤❤
Awesome, my parents were married 68 last month.
God bless you 😇
That's wonderful. I'm doing the same thing for my parents. Married 56 years this Dec. 2023.
@@oldskoolmedia2264 u r so Lucky your dear parents are still with you 🫶🫶🫶
My stepmom was having a lot of trouble breathing; it turned out to be a tumor near her heart that was pressing against her lungs. The doctor had a long talk with her. She lived alone, she was almost 80, malnourished, and wouldn't have been a good candidate for surgery or chemo. After she went into hospice she died within nine days. I barely got there in time to say good-bye, and although they were giving her medication to ease her pain, I happened to see her when she was struggling to breathe. It sounded like when you suck the end of a drink through a straw; that gurgling sound will haunt me forever. She passed away a few hours after my visit and my first feeling was relief. I couldn't imagine keeping her alive merely to see her suffer more. At some point, people can't be cured. It's very sad.
There are hospice nurses on UA-cam who explain end of life things that happen on hospice. That sound you heard might have been a sound known as the death rattle. It is caused by air moving across unswallowed spit and is a common sound at the end of life. I'm sorry for your loss.
@@irvineal
I work in hospice and each being leaves differently so such a statement is not necessarily true.
Saying less when one doesn't know is a good motto to live by.
Namaste
but it's the truth, it's the reality we must accept
@@frankclements1431 the reality is you have the freedom to die before deteriorating too much. If your counter argument is based on religion then it holds no ground.
@@irvineal I'm not sure she really needed to know that information.
For six days a week, I work as a home health personal care assistant for two elderly ladies, one of whom is 86 and has Alzheimer's and the other who is 92 and has vascular dementia. Each lady lives with her daughter. It is not an easy path to walk for the family members, but I do all I can to lighten the load for the entire family when I am there in their homes. Incidentally, my late husband lived to be 106--I took care of him, too.
I think you may be a saint!
God bless you. 💞
You must have been way younger than your husband.
Insane!
I have no family.
No children.
No partner.
No one who will inherit anything when I die.
I have no life’s work that I need to accomplish.
I have no fear of death.
I have NO fear of death!
To be kept alive like some of these people is, to me, cruel…a form of torture under the guise of care.
I MUST be allowed to end my life when I want to.
It is torture isn’t it? Bedridden, demented, fearful, depressed souls kept alive…for what?
Yep.
God bless you @renzo6490.
❤
I understand totally. I feel the same way.
This documentary series alone--Frontline--makes my monthly contributiuon to PBS so easy and worth every penny.
Thanks to everyone involved. This episode was especially important.
Thank you.
As someone who can no longer afford to donate, I appreciate you and all those who do.
I appreciate you. Take care
@@earthdaddy ❤
I'm 40 years old and suffer from schizophrenia. It's a horrible disease. I'm scared half my life and I have to be careful about noises because they turn into voices. Now imagine suffering from that and being 90 years old laying in bed in a nursing home.
Sorry to hear. God bless.
Actually people with schizophrenia are 6X more likely to get some form of dementia. So you're unlikely to reach that age and even if you do, you won't have voices anymore. You just won't remember anything. But in a couple of decades the meds for schizophrenia will be much better anyway. My uncle had it and in his generation alone the meds improved by a very significant amount.
@user-hd1bw3dw2w I've heard that. I take an injection called Invega. It seems to help me out but it's always worse in the mornings. When I wake up I here people talking to me. The doctor says the invega doesn't give me anxiety but I swear it does. I've never had problems with anxiety until I started taking invega. So they have me on every type of anxiety meds you can think of. It's really changed my life. I no longer want to go into public any more and I don't get hungry. Thank God for insurance because the invega shot cost 1700 dollars a shot! For the most part I just want to be left alone and have things quite. I really worry about loosing my mind and at the same time dealing with the ticks, noises, and voices. I can't watch t.v. any more because they watch you through the t.v. and it's just to noisy. I can't listen to the radio because the noises repeat in my head all day. I guess you can say I'm already loosing my mind I just don't want to get any worse with age. Sometimes I get so afraid I can't even look in a mirror. People have the wrong idea about schizophreniacs, I'm not dangerous or do crazy things. I wouldn't hurt a fly. I'm just socially inadequate now and have to keep things as quite as possible. I have a college degree and have always worked two jobs and had a girlfriend. All that went away. Now I'm stuck on disability and barely can make it from month to month. I have manic attacks if there's to many things going on at one time. I've been to the E.R. 4 times so they can inject me with calming medicine. You try driving while your mind is going 100 miles an hour, you can't control your movements, and you think some one is watching you. It's a horrible disease right up there with alhzeimers.
I do massive research for my own things & have read many times that schizophrenia is a deficiency...think it's B1 but not your everyday B1, Benfotiamine or Ttfd. I could be wrong on the deficiency, you can search on YT & Google, easy to find. Deficiencies really mess us up. Be well🙏
I have schizoaffective disorder and my biggest fear is not being treated adequately when I’m old and sick, laying in bed scared to death. I’d rather die then have this happen to me.
Both of my parents died in their fifties. They had eight children. 5 of us are now in our sixties but the youngest had died of "natural causes" in his late forties. Lifestyle, diet, exercise, attitude, good friends, and a whole lot of luck is the best way to live one's life!
I watched my Mom suffer and die after years of illness and being in a Convelecent home for over 3 years.(1988) She was 78. My Dad , never sick, suffered a heart attack at 89. One week later, he suffered a second and never made it out of the hospital(1989). I lost the love of my life after 40 years in 2017. Two weeks in the hospital, diagnosed with a choice of death, or amputation of both legs above the knee. They chose hospice at home and in two weeks was gone. Age, 66. I am now 78, and am just starting to slow down. I have no one else around to be the way I was for my folks or my spouse. I don't want extended life. I don't want to be a vegetable left to linger alone until my body finally gives up completely. Dying , is not pleasant, especially if you die alone. If all about the afterlife that I have believed is true ? I can't wait. If it isn't ? Well, I guess I'll find out.
How incredible you had 40 years with the love of your life.
I pray the end isn’t far. I can’t wait to see my family on the other side.
I feel the way you do.
I’m 43. I had the love of my life for 5 years before he took his life. My only son is grown and could care less about me and my career has crumbled under my mental illness. I’ve had a great life and I’m very appreciative. But this is it. I’ve got 5 or 10 years left.
Like the man said, this gettin old is for the birds.
Great post. Yeah, this is such a difficult issue. Also the issue of dying with dignity is not what many make it out to be. It is not always depression or mental illness to recognize your circumstances and to know you will die alone and plan for how you want it to go. I do this and I know it is just pragmatic, rationalism - not pessimism or depression. I know how I want to live. And how I want to die.
We’ll look on the bright side, you’ll be dead so you won’t be aware that there is no afterlife
I found comfort in hearing my ma say that she was not afraid to die, and she died in peace, praise God!
I absolutely don’t want heroic measures to live longer. In fact, as a nurse, I have seen the worst things in ICU that bioethically have been appalling to me. It’s our responsibility to care for our older generations if we insist on shoving every single person into an ICU for care they don’t necessarily ask for or need. The medical community is just as responsible for this problem as is our society at large. Our irrational fear of death and denial of dying is part of the problem. I personally would rather die a good death early than live a long life of suffering as a vegetable in a nursing home.
Absolutely true
Living is hard. Dying should be easy. Instead it's about making a buck off a bedridden corpse
And our family members want to hang on to us,I've seen it with my family. Keeping someone alive beyond the point that they should be dead is selfish. Some of the nursing homes I've been in are shameful the environment and energy are disgusting. We should be send those wonderful people off with dignity but corp look at it as a money maker
As an ICU nurse myself, I totally agree with you. I am in awe of what we will put people through for the sake of being “alive”. I’m 35 and have my advanced directive in place with limits and time frames. I want to a meaningful recovery. No trach. No PEG. No nursing home. If I cannot live without those things, live is no longer worth living to me.
Spot on
We think it’s a kindness to put our pets that we love wholeheartedly to sleep. It’s an absolute crime that assisted suicide is illegal.
You have to add our families are Sooo Much more than our dear pets!
Of course put'n em down is faaar from what most could do even legal.... It's the utter loss of who they are to you.. the orphaning that happens even when you've done all you can to care for them... Life just isn't simple on this issue! 😔
Well, that documentary achieve the main goal in your zumbi mind!
Almost 30 years ago I had the pleasure of taking care of a woman who was 106. She was of sound mind and body. She did everything for herself and her roommate. Her surname was the same as mine. I absolutely cherish the wisdom and stories she shared with me. Knowing her made me a better person. I made the mistake of asking her what it was like being 106. She said " I would never wish this hell on anyone. My husband died almost 40 years ago, all 6 of my children are dead, and two of my grandchildren. All of my friends are dead. This is a fate worse than death. "
The only reason I remember exactly what she said is because I wrote down patient stories (I did not write down their names)
It was a privilege and a pleasure to spend time with and serve WWII era patients. They told me the absolute truth. People of a certain age lose their verbal filter.
Those patients are the reason I work in healthcare. The generation I see now are not the same in any way. They are mean, entitled, and abusive (both physically and verbally)
It's so very different. I will never turn my back on a patient. They will always receive care and compassion. I no longer work in long term care. For my own sanity I had to make the choice to work in the hospital.
Fascinating comment. Thank you.
If she did everything for herself and her roommate, why did she need your care?
@@Kaledrone because she was lonely and depressed as well as a bit unsteady, so I needed to be with her when she showered. She didn't want to cook or clean anymore. She wanted to find a way to make her life easier and happier. Personally, I'm thankful she was able to have that at least.
I never had a filter 😂 I have always been kind, & honesty is important to me. If you ask me what I think, I tell them. Life's too short for useless niceties, I want to be with people who have something to say. I 😊 & talk to strangers, it's good.❤
I met lots of patients like the one you describe in my 37 year nursing career. I loved hearing their life stories and I learned so much from them.
My dog got old and she was full of tumors. She was dying. We took her to the vet and had her euthanized. It was the kindest most peaceful death I have witnessed. We should all have this choice. Legally!
I'm so sorry about your pooch. My parrot died from tumors. She was my best friend.
Agree! We wouldn't let our beloved pets suffer. We should have the same option for ourselves. Some states do allow euthanasia with prescribed medication, but it's not widely known. A handful of western states do, plus Vermont, but not all doctors participate, and you must be legally competent.
I agree.
I agree! In my state we theoretically have this legal right, but because a religious organization runs most of the health care businesses here, it is extremely difficult to access this legal right.
@@bettina868I think that it horrible. People's religious views can be well intended but lack compassion at the same time.
I just wanted to cry. This reminded me of my Mom. She was very firm about not doing anything. She was ready to go. It’s still emotional. But aging can be so devastating. My Mom took excellent care of her health but still Osteoporosis got her. She was 88 and I was there until the end.
How exactly did osteoporosis "get her"
@@Livetoeat171 Her back became so curved it affected her internal organs. She actually died it says on her Death Certificate, of “natural causes.” But the osteoporoses started the decline.
Honor your father and your mother
Yes I agree wholeheartedly with you
I’m a caregiver and I wish people understood the cost of 24 hour in-home care. It’s beyond the “retirement” we save for over our careers. I want to be able to afford the level of care I give if I need it someday (I’m part of an exceptional team of women; very lucky)
❤
Right! YOU ARE AMAZING AND THANK YOU as a child of an elderly parent. but FR +ISNT UNCAPPED CAPITALISM GREAT?! (being sarcastic obvi)
God bless you.
I never want to get that old.
I have watched my family members deteriorate into broken, lost shells of their former selves. I have mentally deteriorated tremendously by the ripe old age of 43. I’m horrified to think of the comatose, drooling, drain on society I will become in a couple decades. If I can’t get a hold of assisted dying in 10 years I will be a statistic. No gettin old over here. For what? To suffer and die? I’m doing that already.
Agreed, there are other problems as well. My father died this year at 82. He needed at least minimal in-home care, as I often provided. My 71 year old stepmother has always acted as if they were struggling financially and did little to take proper care of my father. Two months after he died, she immediately bought a million dollar house with cash (this was their savings not retirement or life insurance and beautiful homes sell in their area for $200k). I have long suspected she was hording money for herself. I am considering taking her to court for neglect of my father. I couldn't care less about money but knowing she had more than anyone in the family and she neglected my father sickens me. I had been begging for years for her to hire some help but she never would - not even wheelchair ramps for the house which I repeatedly offered to buy and install so my dad wouldn't fall down the porch anymore and could get to the doctor. She said it would "make the house look ugly" and "decrease the value" and my dad didn't want me to argue with her so I tried to honor that when he was living but if I'd known she had money I would have taken legal action ten years ago so he could have lived longer and had a richer life. I thought she was doing all she could for him but she seems to have been tolerating him to maximize the money she would have, waiting for him to die.
Eat healthy
Not to mention our health care system is predatory.
The corruption of the medical establishment really took off in the early 1900s. "Rockefeller Medicine Men" - E. Richard Brown, 1979.
There's a very powerful way to fix that this election cycle.
@@RightToConsent Oh yeah? Trump promised a better health care system for four years and did squat.
8:20 my heart breaks for this gentleman. It’s so frustrating to have a healthy mind and a failing body, just as much as the opposite. My Mom had a medical crisis in 2016. She was in the ICU, intubated, and sedated for a week. The doctors told us daily to be prepared, her chances of recovery were 50/50. We had faith in her, she knew when she would be ready. And she wasn’t ready yet. She recovered, it wasn’t easy but her love of life motivated her through her therapy. We talked about end of life wishes, that helped tremendously. As the years went by, the medical issues kept coming. Each time it took a little more from her. In 2021, in the midst of another emergency, I had to make the decision to end treatment. It was a traumatic experience for me, but she knew it was time and she was ready. She died peacefully two days later. The lucky ones have family that can and will care for them, even if it’s being hyper vigilant about their nursing home care. But we saw so many lonely people in the places my Mom did rehab at. Old age can really be a kick in the a$$
Life teaches how to cope with death. Caring for a loved one, and watching them slowly whither away and die is extremely difficult.
You really need to watch these doctors and nursing staff.
They can make some major medical mistakes that can cost your love ones there life.😏
Ah that is quite common but you don't get to choose how long you live or what
My fear is living with extreme pain. To me, it’s worse than death. I’m 72 yo, no children & I worry that I’ll die alone.
I am in a the same situation. God is with me so I am never alone.
I’ll pray for you
If you can get my mssg plz get Qur'an and Read it. That is the ultimate mssg of Creator of this Universe. You will be asked any single second of your life
This video was very thought provoking. I was a geriatric nurse for thirty years and then went on to surgery coordinator for ten more years. I loved nursing with the elderly people. They were so full of life learned knowlege that if asked, they would dole out quick one liners that would blow your mind from the simple amazing truth. Some were full of life and energy and some were frail and sickly, but they all stole my heart.
I've worked with the elderly for many years, and have seen mostly good treatment. Great to know!
❤️✝️🙏
God bless y'all
Quick one liners that are the simple amazing truth. 😊❤
hugs
@@EastCoastGal66
This is difficult to watch, brings back some sad memories with my parents. I was a care giver for both of my parents and was fortunate enough to be able to take a leave of absence so that I could see after each one of my parents when each one’s time was getting near. It was hard to watch the decline over the course of several months. I did not regret for one minute taking care of their needs and considered it an honor for them raising me and always being there for me.
Absolutely an honor.
Not all children can do this.
Yeah I got all choked up several times watching it. But it was good. We all have to face death - for ourselves, our loved ones, and our society. It's so hard watching your parents age and pass on - so much harder than I ever thought it would be. And I had thought I had prepared properly for it. It was an honor doing anything I could for my parents but I had so few resources - it was very hard.
@masudsaleh5155what in the world are you talking about? I went through the worst hell divorce ever and can tell stories to make anyone's head spin. But your post doesn't fit here.
This is so difficult and I’m in my early 30s and it’s so hard watching people get older and still struggle economically it’s hurts my heart
I believe it! My parents are about to turn 87 and 91. They are currently in assisted living and the amount of people even older than them residing there is astounding. My Dad says "we are living too long" thanks to medical science. It comes with many issues.
Just because we can doesn't mean we should.
@@cl5193absolutely!
@@cl5193exactly! I'm an RN and the hospital is basically a merry go round for elderly with chronic illnesses. They're tired, their families are exhausted, it's hard to watch. People need to be realistic about aging.
Its frightening to think if you arent leaping around like a 16 year old that you should be dead.
Difficult to watch, but essential to face the reality both personally and societally. Thanks, Frontline, for always confronting the tough stuff.
Having kids doesn't guarantee anything.....
Kaboom😢
@@kimlarsoNothing is guarantee in life but death.
@@richradtylr4don't forget taxes. 😂
The young generation is not mentally prepared for the aging parents. They are too busy playing online 🎮
Ain't that the truth!❤
I applaud the compassion shown by this dr..❤
My baby boomer parents passed away at age 72, and 81 respectively. Dad was fit physically and strong mentally until he came down with ALS and frontal lobe dementia. I talked to him, and he chose to make himself a DNR before his mind deteriorated to the point where he couldn't decide. It took him about 3 years during which he had physical therapy, then for the ALS to advance until he passed away in peace in the soldier's home where he stayed for the last year before passing away. My mother managed to stay independent until COPD caught up with her, and it was only the second time hospitalized that she ended up in respiratory distress. She had been clear that she did not want to be on a ventilator and did not want heroics. The doctor was clear she was at end stage in her COPD. I followed my mother's wishes and chose comfort measures. Luckily both my parents understood healthcare well enough to be clear on what they did and did not want done. As the youngest in my family and a critical care nurse by profession, I was there for them both to help advocate for their wishes in the end.
Your mom and dad were lucky to have you to be their advocate.
That's great to hear, I'm glad you didn't force a decision on them and respected their final wishes. Condolences of course
If you can’t advocate for yourself, I pray you all have someone to on your behalf. The medical profession for 2023 is right below the used car salesmen of the 70’s. I have yet to run into the compassionate doctors as shown here.
I once knew a woman who was 93 years old and was very frail. One day she suddenly had difficulty breathing, so her children called an ambulance. But she had seen a lot, and she believed that this was a sign of death and that first aid should not be given. But she was forced to the emergency room by her children. The difficulty breathing was cured after first aid, but from that time on, she was unable to take care of herself. She spent more than 10 years in bed, crying every day. She believed that when a person reaches the last stage of life, when God calls you, you should go immediately, otherwise because your organs have failed, you will live a painful life that is worse than death.
Exactly
There are many who have no children, lost their children, or have been abandoned by them.
That's me. My only child was killed while serving in Iraq. I have to carry out my own wishes and deliver heirlooms to friends while I'm alive. I've prepared at Healthcare Directive appointing a friend if I became incapacitated. For now, I've downsized my home to a 10x20 and now travel in the USA seeing what I want to see...alone but content. I'm 63 but I'm a realist. All family has passed, so I figure the State can bury me. C'est la vie🎉
@@elizabethveverka5738 Elizabeth how do you feel about the Iraqi war? Do you feel it was necessary? To be honest, I don't even remember what the point of it was or what was accomplished, and if I had a family member die because of it I would be furious.
@@param6525the Iraqi war was about the destruction of the twin towers on 9-11-2011. (So, then president George bush told us). Iraq was picked because nobody in the Middle East liked Saran Hussein.
could be abandoned. could also be how they lived and treated their family. some lonely elderly folks may have been miserable or terrible parents and reaping those rewards
I am a 66-year-old female that has been retired since I was 62 due to medical reasons. I moved in with my daughter and her family at 52 at their request. I lived several states away from my only child and thought it was a good idea at that time. I was working, had my own car and paid my bills while helping her out. Then I got hurt at work and everything changed. In the blink of an eye, I went from just having high blood pressure to having back surgery, diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, hypothyroidism, gout, arthritis, diabetic neuropathy and peripheral artery disease, high cholesterol and the list goes on. I can still bathe myself but am starting to have difficulty doing that. I drive but had to sell my car because after I retired, I could not afford the upkeep of my car. I feel like I'm walking on marbles, and it is very painful. I'm in constant pain and I have yet to ask for pain meds because pain meds don't help my back at all. So, I lay around my room all the time unless I take a bath, fix me something to eat or go to my doctor's appointments. The two doctors I see don't care how I feel, they just write another prescription or do another test. I told one doctor that I was depressed, and he told me bluntly that wasn't his area of expertise. I hear all the time on television ads that say to talk to your doctor about depression. After seeing this and knowing my health is rapidly declining, I'm seriously thinking about taking my own life, so I won't have to suffer all the time and my daughter won't be burdened with my care. The gentleman in this video was right, getting old is for the birds.
Sandra, I'm so sorry to hear about the medical issues you're dealing with and that your doctor didn't try to help when you told him about your depression. Unfortunately, many doctors today don't seem to have the time or desire to give the kind of care that I think was more common years ago. I've experienced that with one of my new, young drs who took over when my previous one retired. But I urge you to be proactive with your healthcare. Perhaps you could call your dr's office and ask for a referral to a mental health professional to seek help with the depression. I would also ask for a referral to a pain clinic. My mother had spinal stenosis along with many other conditions and a fentanyl patch provided relief.
thank you for sharing and I completely agree with you. Doctors really do not care for their patients. They only try to get through as many patients as they can and get you out of there. I hope you find relief from the pain.
sandrataylor3723 : Hang in there.
Have you tried massage? Or THC & CBD?
Take lots of vitamins & sleep a lot.
Keep reaching out to get help until you get the help you need. You are worth it. Wishing for you joy and relief.
If you are able, please get out daily and walk. Look at your diet and try to find anti inflammatory foods. Check with your local church and find someone to talk with. It is hard being depressed and you need someone to talk with. Life is not over, please reach out to your local church. God be with you. 🙏
I lived with my mother for four and a half years during that illness.
She got mean toward me, and I ended up having compassion fatigue, a form of PTSD.
My twin brother and I are adopted within the family.
What I found extraordinary was that I was the only one wanting to keep mom out of a nursing home, even if she broke my heart.
But I was shocked that my siblings did not want to help, especially her firstborn daughter.
She wasn't mean. Her brain was not functioning correctly. Remember, the brain is a part of the body, and breaks down too. If you look at it as part of the illness instead of taking it personally, you are better off.
@@WVgrl59 That is common among your generation. They just don't care about anyone but themselves. Maybe you should feel lucky you don't have those genes. You sound like the only one with compassion.
@boycott2720 yes, it is brain death.
Get over it, she gave you life. If people weren't so selfish, this wouldn't be a story.
Frontline is the pinnacle of journalism. Thank you to all at Frontline. Your hard work is tremendously appreciated.
I am 70 and have survived for a year after undergoing chemo and surgery for stage 4 ovarian cancer. I am doing well right now but I am aware of the chances of it coming back. I have spoken with my daughter about assisted dying, she lives in a state where it is legal. Quality of life is important to me, and so is my independence. Death is just the inevitable end for all of us.
Sending prayers and hugs.
I find it amazing that we put elderly people, who cannot care for themselves, in a nursing home then continue to give them medication to keep them alive. I don't want to go that way.
Just to clarify I am 64 and don't want that for myself
Just $hoot me
Absolutely!!! Could not agree more with your statement
Keeping old people drugged up and easy to manage is easier for the overworked staff.
@@Biteme-t8zthey don’t give them those kind of meds- it’s illegal. Old people an be very mean and demanding. They would actually benefit from anti depressants
I'm 68, single and childless, and in very good health. And I'm terrified about a future of dependence. I've left strict instructions with my younger brother and my physician cousin to make a decision to err on the side of death if any condition means I won't be able to live independently. Having watched my father wither away in nursing care, I can't bear the thought of that. God bless those who do wish to live on in whatever capacity, but that just isn't something I'd want.
Death with dignity
I’m 54 and unfortunately I’m not going to get much older due to various health issues. I don’t think I’m afraid of death or not existing anymore but I’m terrified of the process of dying. My father suffered an unimaginable painful death and I was his caregiver till the end. There just seems like there should be a way to let people pass more peacefully
Read The Gospel of John, chapter 11.
The Gospel that we believe in order to be saved.
Jesus the Son of God, died or you/our sins. He was buried. On the the third day he arose from the dead/grave for our/your 27:52 before God our Father.
Believe and be Saved.
It's all by faith/belief
Hospice or palliative care.
@@wendy54321 Now listen. I believe and love my Lord & savior and I do have faith and as weird as it sounds, I know that I will make it thru the death process. After all everyone does but it is very frightening after witnessing someone go through so much unrelenting agony. My dad was the strongest man I ever knew and saw him reduced to an unbelievable frailty.
Maybe I need more than a Bible verse on this? Maybe I need some counseling when the time comes closer?
@GeorgeBonez
Im sorry, I wish I knew what to say. Im glad you know the Lord. Ill pray for a miracle .
I did not see this film when it first aired. I was just moving in that year with my mother who was becoming frail and losing memory. Previously my career was in nursing home administration and I swore no one in my family would live in an institution unless they were advanced alzheimers or had a condition that required 24 hr care. I must say that this is an incredibly thoughtful and comprehensive presentation of the challenges and choices we all have to make about healthcare and aging. I so appreciate the thoughtfulness and wisdom and angel-like caring that these 3 doctors exhibit. I hope many people will see this, discuss it with your families, have your living wills and advance directives drawn up. My siblings and I (in our 60's) support Death With Dignity legislation in our states, and one of us is training to be a death doula! I am single no children and absolutely plan to avoid spending my last 5-20 yrs in physical and mental decline. If I can't be active and independent I will not become a zombie in a hospital bed. Interesting and delighted to see that Mrs. Strongin died as she hoped, in 2006 the same year this film was made!
After seeing this video I absolutely never want to accept a feeding tube to be kept alive, barely aware and completely bed bound, drugged up to try to alleviate terrible pain. I think so many family members are afraid to let go, and don’t want to make the decision to end their parent’s life even when it is the most compassionate thing to do to end their suffering. My own mother was a nurse and she has been telling me for 40 years that she doesn’t want to be kept alive by artificial means. I am lucky that I know her wishes.
Yup. The downside is that that last decade or so is fraught with health issues; the shock and loneliness of dying spouses (even children) other relatives, as well as dying friends, former coworkers and acquaintances, immobility/trouble getting around; the expense of just living, and undoubtedly taking multiple medications; the only visits outside are to the doctor's office. My dad is in his mid-80s, and I see how that is affecting him, and is an ever present reminder of my own aging. More aches, pains, "what IS that?!?", more pills, my body betraying me at every turn, not to mention the expense of living. Rents going up by leaps and bounds, food prices going up, gas prices through the roof...the future can be a terrifying thing to think about. I'm childless...who will take care of ME?
I am 70 and the youngest of 3 brothers. Each of us about 5 years apart. all of us alive. Still going strong.
As my mom used to say 'I don't do old' and she passed relatively young, thank goodness. I hope for the same with me. I enjoy my life but when 'things' start to go down, I want out to prepare for the next one. Side note, I want a Doc like Dr Coch as mine at that time. Love him.
My mother in law used to say " getting old is not for sissies."
My dad passed away in March at age 101 after a few weeks hospital stay for Pneumonia, but even prior to that, and for…I’d say 6 years, he’s been a shell of his former self. We opted to have him stay at home. My mom took care of him (she is 78-still very much able-bodied), and when covid hit in 2020, my sister moved back home and was also helping out. It was always hard coming back home to visit and seeing his eyes gazing straight ahead, but not necessarily knowing you were there, or having to hand feed him, take him to the bathroom, clean him up. I am glad that he was cared for at home, because even though I work in elder care/nursing facilities, it’s not the same,and staff don’t necessarily have the time and patience for each individual resident. My dad had all of us in his 60s, for reference to how old his children are. :P
If you are 50-60 with minor ailments start exercising right now and do not stop. 1-2 hours everyday no matter what. Walk and stretch at the minimum. Or else.
Good advice
Or Else happens anyway.
@@ey67 You are correct but or else can be mitigated. The human body was designed to heal itself. All it requires is a little assistance and determined self care.
@@SyriusStarMultimedia Nice try. Worked in hospitals for 30. Yrs. Dream on.
@@ey67 Very true. You can delay, but the "or else' is coming anyway.
My mother lived independently and very actively until she had a stroke at age 107 last March and died a day later. She went the way she wanted to go and everyone in her family is thankful. Meanwhile, my wife died in July at 76 from the lingering effects of a stroke six years earlier. My former wife, who is 80, was recently diagnosed with ALS that will prove fatal, and I will turn 80 a month from now and am still working--voluntarily, rather from need, fortunately. I would say that my family has seen all aspects of aging this year.
What was her eating habits?
R U f***ing serious? ??!!.......Out of all that information you think some bizarre food theory is relevant???????@@mariemedinavd
Let us go into the next life with dignity. Please. Stop keeping us alive beyond our years. Please stop!!
I agree!!
This is No country for old Men, or Women for that matter...
I turned 50 this year - I have five children and three grandchildren. My ex joined a QAnon type Christian cult 10 years ago and I lost my 20 year marriage and kids. They refuse to even speak to me. I will have absolutely no help. I have accepted I will die alone. (Though I am remarried, we are both are realistic about life and economics.) I helped care for my mother and father. My mother was completely independent until her stroke 5 years ago at 76 and she passed away peacefully and in full control of her mind 9 months later. Regretfully, she never made it back home where she wanted to be. My father died this winter at 82 from covid after almost two decades of increasing health problems. His death was more tragic. My siblings did okay but we could not get on the same page about care and facing it all squarely. This is an important documentary.
My grandmother lived to be 96 years old. She was in excellent health. There was no stopping the inevitable.
I am caring for my 90 y.o. mother. She has loss of sight, loss of hearing, is incontinent, arthritis, cannot walk, and kidney issues. She is still lucid and we can have conversations. Her mother lived to 94. My Aunt, her sister, passed suddenly in March at the age of 88 walking to her car to drive to someone's funeral. That's how i want to go.
My mother died in home hospice care, with her kids taking care of her basic needs. We had morphine for her pain and were told to use it liberally. We did and she padded peacefully in her sleep. Her last day or two she went downhill. But until then she was lively mentally, so she could enjoy conversations with her friends and family. Her passing was peaceful and a
quick, after just a day or two of needing complete care. At home.
The morphine is what killed hurt most likely. Its brutal Hospice did that to my mother I would not recommend using Hospice or morphine it's a horrible way to die.
@@JohnSmith-qz6db "Morphine is a horrible way to die" That has to become a classic .
morphine shuts down all the major organs. it can kill you very fast.
can I get some morphine?
@@MrTweetyhack Your daughter is flying in from California tomorrow, and we have to keep you alert so she can say "Good-bye" to you. How about some Tylenol instead?
Only the rich and the Medicaid poor can have the luxury of 24/7 in home care. The working class employees paid taxes all their life and can't afford this care.
This is one of the saddest, most real & eye-opening videos I've ever seen on UA-cam 😭
As a cancer survivor, that beat cancer in my 20s. I think about this a lot. I'm in my 30s now but the treatments or "cure" left my scared and with disabilities for the rest of my life. I was young and had a family of my own so the choice to fight was trivial for me. What I noticed while sitting in the chemo loungers was that almost everyone in those rooms were quite old. If I had cancer in my 70s idk if I would have chosen to fight. I think about those people that I sat with, and I wonder what their quality of life is like these days?
I beat metastatic TC at 27 and tbh most days I wonder if it was worth it to choose to fight
Many older people who survive cancer treatments get a handful of years in which they do pretty well. The long term effects of treatment won't happen for them; they don't live long enough to develop the conditions that have or will come for you. Their definition of functioning is far lower than someone in their 20s and 30s. Because of this, they don't see their limitations as severe. Their limitations are also seen in their peers, unlike people in their 20's. Their friends also use walkers or wear out early in the day. They don't need to be employed, they aren't raising kids. They can see their quality of life as equal to their spouse or their peers, and that means a lot psychologically.
@@Cathy-xi8cb I guess if I had a family I might look forward to life a bit more
I’m 65, and I’d really have to think hard about it. I don’t want to be like my mom - 92 and is on 9 medications
I'm 63 & can't afford the medicine, single, no kids I think I will just tap out when I get too old.
My Dad was 79 when diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. He was well into the 3 sigma result of less than 1.4% of people being that old and living a happy life and moving around without any aid. Even with full attempts of chemo and the like to save him, he was dead in 7 months. My mom suffered for a year on dialysis treatments that were just as miserable to her. I don't understand why we try so hard to keep people alive that are so clearly suffering and we have no clear cure in sight for them...
There are effective treatments and even cures for many of the things we suffer from, but we are prevented from accessing them either because the government has made them illegal, insurance companies refuse to pay for them, or doctors are afraid to prescribe them for fear of losing their licenses because of our crooked, profit-driven sick-care industries. 😱
Your parent's providers did not tell them the truth about what their future would hold. It was all known. All the likelihood of suffering and the small chance that treatment would give them a decent quality of life. Simply put, you have to FORCE providers to tell you the truth. Then you make the hard decisions.
There is another good documentary with Dr. Atul Gawande, a famous author and surgeon, where he talks about how hard it is even for doctors to talk honestly with patients about their death.
one word. money. i have a stepmom deep into dementia. years of expensive care so someone can live a sad ending of confusion and fear the basically comatose
@@caseylm100 Exactly! 🥺 The sad part is that the greed for profit no matter what the cost to our health caused this! Dementia is the “New Norm” that was tare a few generations ago! People lived longer in many cultures, and at ripe old ages they still had their cognitive functions, and many were physically functional as well. Not the case for most people anymore! 😥😱
When I worked with nursing home residents, the number one thing people regretted doing, was not having traveled enough and enjoyed life more when they were younger. No one said making more money.
When I worked in a nursing home they said the same to me, one man told me he never drank much went to bed early and he said look at me now I’m alone and all my friends are gone, he wished he had more fun in his life
You figure out that american culture is drivel far too late. Buuut, it's not like anyone here can actually do anything about it.
@@harmonyrose13 And I'm sure his drunk friends had a really nicetime slowly dying, but earlier. We all go. It's okay to want to live a healthy life. That man has a family, no? That's the issue. The family left him behind and THAT'S why he's alone, not because he went to bed early.
You need to make enough money to travel in the first place.