When Narcissist Says X, He means Z (EXCERPT)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 чер 2024
- Full Video: • Narcissist's Common Ph...
Common phrases that narcissists use:
I love you (dual mothership in shared fantasy)
You have changed (coercive snapshotting, devaluation-separation)
I am … (grandiosity)
They are (projection) …
This is wrong (useless, inefficacious)
I don’t remember having done/said that, it doesn’t sound like me at all, the truth is this (dissociation and confabulation)
If you refuse, it means that … (coercive control)
Why can't you decode the narcissist's speech?
In the lovebombing phase of the shared fantasy, the narcissist introduces you to his dead inner child (True Self) and to his bad object (the introjects that hate him). This way he induces in you maternal reflexive bonding and pity for him. Do not fall in this trap ever again! Knowledge is power!
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:
www.amazon.com/stores/page/60...
Looking for help to continue to develop the chronon field theory: mathematical physicists and scholars of geometries and topologies with focus on scalar functions, Geroch functions, foliations, Reeb vectors, and matrices. More: samvak.tripod.com/chronon.pdf , iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1742-6596/845/1/012019/meta , and samvak.tripod.com/electrogravity.pdf
So true. They want a mother to love them unconditionally. Yes, they use people.
Any sentence said by a narcissist starting with 'I' is a false statement. I am... I know... i want... I don't... I will... I wont... I never... I just.
I have been married to a narcissist for 56 years. Please, don’t laugh. It has not been easy for me. I knew the day after my wedding that something dark was happening to me. I have tried a five different psychologists and pretty much wasted my money. All these years I have known that my husbands problem came from his mother and that he wanted me to be his mother. Since discovering your tube channel I have been able to piece together what happened to my marriage and to some degree my relationship with my two children. My son died before I could explain myself to him which I very much wanted to do. My daughter lives very near to me and has trouble with our relationship. She is dear to me and I want to start the conversation in way that won’t send her running to the woods. Could you do a talk about communication that won’t scare to death? Many thanks for your wonderful videos. You have done a great service to mankind.
I'm sorry for that. Truly.
The power of the cross is something few really know untill you go to the depths. The victory you will find there will surprise you. Go to the place this was dealt with and see Jesus there. He never left us alone. He's in it with you. I am trying too get a divorce from Narc now and most of his family has no idea. My daughter is the only one who knows and it's broken her to find out. You need to be healed before you can talk to your adult son. I am not a victim but a victor of the cross. I am healed. Truly. You can be too. ❤
I could feel that they wanted/needed me to be in denial with them. And I was like….no. No, absolutely not.
“I’m a grown ass man.” A complete red flag.
The games that people play is never ending, indeed.
This is brilliant. This is EXACTLY what my ex-narcissist did to me. Amazing how you can explain it because I could not explain it to anyone-even myself-for 17 years.
He used to say „i wish you could see yourself through my eyes“ (how wonderful i am) ugghhh
The "perfect victim" have the good story, and the "real victim" may have a less perfect and not rehearsed story. Also that you can come to sound narcissistic telling your story, becaulse someone else already got the narrative and ran with it. Real victimhood is so mutch shame, playing the victim is having no shame.
The amnesia aspect. Why does he get so angry when I point out that last week he said one thing and this week another.
Much of his lying seems strategic to gain something or as a way to abuse.
Same. My husband uses either extremely vague or extremely specific language to make sure that I never understand what he’s saying and that he’s always able to accuse me of misinterpreting what he’s said or making things up. It’s made worse because I have AuDHD so I struggle with understanding things anyway. Long story short I just tell him to his face that he lies and can’t be trusted so I don’t know why he bothers saying anything to me about anything and then go back to my phone games.
My husband just refuses to commit to a decision, he can not make a decision on anything, where to go on vacation, what he likes, what his life goals are, where he wants to be in ten years, what is his favorite food, he will not answer any questions, and refuses to tell me why after 14 years he "doesn't know if he loves me" ouch, ego hit aside, a normal person should know after 14 years weather or not they love someone, they also should have a good grasp on what foods they like.. he has no personality and can't make any personal decisions because of the lack of a core personality 😢 I feel bad for him, but at the same time, it's all his own doing, so let him wallow in his own mess
The amnesia aspect makes me wonder what impact a life of that would have on the likelihood of developing dementia as a person ages.If they have spent their lives trying not to remember/exist etc
100. Still traumatised but I must be healing because your vides make me smile now. What really helps is referring to him as toddler clown. If he wasn't so dangerous it would be really funny.
I am …… a faithful husband - he says after he just got caught cheating- he disengages and immediately marries the new person to prove to himself and others that he is a faithful husband ….
…. And the previous spouse/partner becomes the crazy ex .
I am …. / they are ….. go hand in hand.
Thank you for this explanation - very nicely articulated
Thank you, this explains why people with a maternal or paternal instinct are more vulnerable. We don’t get angry. How could you hurt a child? We soften when we sense the lost child, and we want to protect. It throws us off as 30:12 to what’s really going on.
My ex always told me: “A pussy hair pulls a battleship!” Another example of a veiled threat - if you don’t do xyz, then xxxx happens…. Which, no matter how hard I tried, still happened … devaluation, discard … etc
Now, many years later, I am thinking: “It’s a broke ass battleship if it needs pulling!” No thanks. I am powering my own ship - full steam ahead
I belonged to a FB group from a while. I learned a lot. I was just putting a name to my relationship. But once I spent some time there I saw the abuse. The admin would message each other behind the scenes to gang up on a posting member.
When I questioned their methods and pushed back, I was asked to leave.
This video was extremely well timed for me. My spouse recently told me that she never knew me before, but that she was interested in getting to know me. I think she has split the 'old me' as all bad and the 'new/future me' as (hopefully) all good. I think and hope that I have improved my apology and empathy skills during this time, but I have not fundamentally changed. I know I will continue to be the same source of trauma for her moving forward in the same ways I always have. And I realize that I'm not too comfortable continuing in a relationship with someone who was apparently unable to really get to know me after years together.
The thing that’s so wild is that I’ve been studying this and finally woke up last year after he had started telling me I changed. Knowing about the reverse discard I told him to his face I knew that’s exactly what he was doing because I knew he wanted to look like the good guy and push me to file for divorce. Then I started to build a community of new people around me so I can get away. Now this idiot is insisting that he loves me so much and that one day I’ll fall back in love. Dude I know you’d have my ass out this door if I hadn’t told you to your face what you were doing. Now he’s trying to find new ways to get me. Recently he’s started talking to a woman online and making sure I know. It’s literally child like behavior. I can’t help but laugh at him regularly.
I am a good guy
I am happy go lucky
I am a differ kind of person
I am a Renaissance man
I am smart
I am a soldier
I am honest
I am open minded
I am not judgemental
All things the nex said
I especially liked the explanations for the projections, aggrandizements, all the confabulations and their extensive list of rights and wrongs . They were always difficult for me to understand. It makes sense that they stem from a lacking sense of self (why nothing comes from their hearts) and dissociations with severe memory gaps.
OMG, everything or even every single alphabet you said exactly matched the father of our daughter. Is like you are the CCTV IN HIS BRAIN. GENIUS GENIUS comments!!!!!!!! Beyond GENIUS!
How many people have the wherewithal to bring their malignant narcissist abusers to justice?
Best way to bring them to justice is to give them no supply and go no contact.
You can’t. And if you fully understand Professor Vaknin, the desire to do so is basically a diagnosis of an illness on your part. Unfortunately, we are all victims of circumstance. It seems that the narcissists have had it quite rough as a young child. They probably have had enough. Just exit stage right, and let them become a memory. Everybody loses at this game until you let go-then at least, although you haven’t been unscathed, you will be set free!
30:12 @@leojablonski2309they themselves are victims in their young adult life often times. So I can’t make any blanket rude statements. I feel horrible that my husband was a victim of domestic abuse, and turned out this way. But in the end, he’ll be alright just like the good professor says. He will replace us. He basically doesn’t even know what he’s losing. We CAN heal, go on and forgive & go no contact--THEY will just forget & move on, as they think they have nothing to heal.
@@alexismerrilldragonqueen6552❤
We don't. Focus on yourself
Thanks so much for this message ❤
Great presentation, thank you. I have indeed seen support groups that insidiously used sarcasm and irony to describe narcissistic behaviors and went on to teach how to exert vengeance on them.
This really was a mind opening video. Thanks so much
I have learned so much from you...that I have no further need of your teaching.
But you are so interesting and profound.. witty..
I revisit your channel
Thank you Mr Valkin.
Vaknin.
@@samvaknin Sorry.. I'm western Canadian..and the way you pronounce your name ..sounds like it has an l...
I stand corrected.
@pamelahaze3211 ❤ the good doctor and his eye for detail.
Thank you Sam ♥️
thank you so much
Thank you !!!
I don’t know if it’s been done already but it would be very interesting to hear some thoughts from the dear professor about the topic of homicide and narcissism. Specifically if this kind of abuse in anyway correlates to the occurrence of this crime in family settings or otherwise.
Thanks and greatest regards
Hello professor
Can you please make a video about psychopath speech and psychopathic behaviors..
Thank you sam ❤
Y'know-- I just heard about you recently, from the NPD subreddit on reddit. I thought you seemed well educated and that you said a lot of things I can relate to.
I am a narcissist. Though much more self-aware than most, if I had to guess. I avoud romantic and intimate relationships with others, as well as saying things like "I love you" and anything that may push an image of exceptional trustworthiness. Am I doing enough? I don't think I want to hurt people.
Prof Sam I have a question from you. I watched your content about how narcissistic can be contagious. Is that possible the intimate partner of the narc becomes more narcissistic than him? I think I brutally discarded my narcs husband. I didn’t cheat but I discarded him and didn’t pay care to his cries and his begging to stay. I feel awful sometimes .
Thanks very much ❤
It's like asking if you should feel bad for taking antibiotics and killing all those poor germs.
There is no calm way with narcissists. Never feel guilty for being human. Did he care when he made you cry?❤
What do you think about Paul Feyerabend and the against method professor Vaknin?
I am not aware of any rational alternative to the scientific method. So, Feyerabend is advocating to permit irrationality in scientific inquiry. An oxymoron. Nonsense.
My recent ex (I broke up with him like a week ago) told me that if I didn’t convert to Christianity for him (his new faith) that I was doing wrong and being inconsiderate, like he’s entitled to control what I believe in. 💀 Opinions?
Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge on this. I’ll never understand why they cannot take responsibility for their projections that cause so much damage.
Life is too short for us to be stuck in a lifetime of constant victimhood. Connecting with and adapting and projecting the fruits of God’s Holy Spirit that is in each and every one of us is the only way that I can see their healing ❤️🩹
And deliverance from all those demons
@@user-kg3tm7ue1s💯🙏✨️