I remember my narcissist w/pt husband cheating at the first (and only) go-fish card game he played with our 5-yr. old son. I watched him do this and win nine times in a row before I pulled him aside and asked him what he was trying to prove. With a quite contemptuous air, he replied "Prove? I wasn't trying to prove anything, but I suppose if I were, it would be that a 5-yr. old doesn't stand a chance at cards with anybody but another 5-yr. old". Needless to say, my son never showed much interest in playing cards with Dad after that. It was quite unpleasant dealing with this spirit 30 years later during our divorce, but it is ohhh sooo pleasant not living with that every day. It is literally like getting out of prison.
Thank you Sam for validating something I had written in my journal a month ago. Basically that when I processed and distilled what the narcissistic relationship was all about, i realised that it was an unseen, unrelenting, war and battle. A battle of wills, a battle of wits, a battle of dominance over me. A battle to consume and annihilate me. Hence why I feel so exhausted from it.
@@nancyhawkins3401 I did get out, thankfully. NEVER looking back. I have finally found peace of mind. I’d be a fool to go back to him after all the things he did.
Thank you Professor. I have been dealing with a narcissistic daughter for 15 years. She’s 30 now. I raised her oldest child for 7 years. I paid all her bills for 3 years so she could keep her children ( she couldn’t get a job - criminal record). I spent over 6 figures supporting her. Once I came to the realization that there would be no end to my assistance, I told her no more support. She got evicted. She moved in with a man I used to date! She has a car that’s in my name that I’m still paying for but she won’t even let me talk to my grandchildren. I’m hurt and angry but I’m done walking on eggshells. My only concern now is my grandchildren, especially the oldest. She is dangerous and abusive - covertly. What can I do to help the kids? The legal system is really ignorant to the games these folks play.
My ex girlfriend even denied her own words in chats and lied about it. Also when it came to memories about our days or intimacy she always played it down and when she was Idealized me again i was her soulmate and her everything and was her best lover ever then i was nothing again after one "wrong" word.....it was a hell of a ride
So many times in my life, I’ve had the best will towards someone ( narcissistic) only to find them found something shitty to me to undermine me. Because, they’ve decided that this is a competition. Have to win what? The asshole award? Where no one is competing with them or giving a rats ass about it, and is cooperative and kind towards them it’s just an attack.
Those AI chatbots are so fascinating, disturbingly human. I tried Bard, it was completely wrong on a topic, I presented it with sources proving it wrong, it admitted to being wrong but started to split hairs and move the goalpost, when I showed it how it was still wrong it kept creating even more ways to "win", it even got to the point of contradicting its own previous statements. When I quoted those contradictions back to it, it still gave "Okay, I'm wrong but..." responses.
I remember my ex husband arguing with me that he sleeps less then me because we go to bed at the same time and he gets up earlier then me. I said, you go to bed at 9 and I go to bed at midnight… he then proceeded to stay up every night until midnight for a week. He then said, now admit I go to bed at the same time as you, which I did, cause he had… he then went back to going to bed at 9!😂He was such a child. I just let it go! I was so done with the marriage by then!
This sounds hilarious, but when you are living it every day it’s not funny at all. It makes my stomach turn the psychotic behaviors they play, especially damaging when you are a sensitive person also battling with your own childhood trauma. I’m so done with my so called marriage to this monster. 💔😫
That made me laugh but they are so disordered. They have to feel they are winning..... even when ultimately they lose everything and no one can be bothered with them x
I have been on the receiving end of preemptive winning so many times I can’t even count. Every cop I have dealt with did this to me to the point that me and my bf have had planted drugs on us 3 separate times. People don’t understand why I end up treated so poorly by law enforcement. This is why.
Sometimes i wonder if maybe i shouldnt have asked my ex husband to leave when i did, when our son was 18mos. I had picked up on this sense in him, against his own infant. He revealed that he was very willing to dish out physical and psychological abuse, which wasnt something i picked up on at all the prior 15 years. This reminds me why. I couldnt imagine him playing with his son now. I am still in shock that a grown man can be legitimately jealous of an infant, though.
Thank you Sam for your insight into how some narcissist minds work these past few years on your UA-cam speeches and collabs. It's like my x traveled from the 80s into the future and back with a play book from you on how to be an exact worst person via whatever it takes to control and destroy his supply.
😂I had a meeting with ex narc and he told me we competing was the main reason he had an affair, move out of home, took what he wantedwhile I was out of town with sm child. Your talk has opened my eyes as to why he said that. I was a homemaker, and he was an attorney. Now I know
Because, as Thucydides put it, the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must. Or as Mell Brooks phrased it, "It's good to be the king". It's not very confortable to suffer what you must.
@@EchoBlack311 The strong is strong regardles what illness he suffers from or lack thereof. Since narcistists and psychopaths seek power it only means they are more in tune with how reality stripped from wishful thinking works. It appears to me that a narcisist has an edge over psychopaths since they're better at pretending to be sociable, thus avoiding to be destroyed by the horizontal power of society.
@@EchoBlack311 If by morality you mean one set of rules for everyone about how to get by in life than there is no such set of rules but rather two separate set of rules: one for those who are deprived (slave morality) and another one for those who thrive (master morality). The rule no1. of slave morality is "remain a slave", do nothing to improve your position. It's a passive morality saying "I'm good just because I suffer and endure." Or "I'm good just because I'm timid." As if that's a virtue or as if being virtuous is a reward in itself. It's not though. Millions of virtuous slaves are there to suffer and their fate is no better from those who are socially shunned or punished. At least they have tried.
In my case? Why must narcissist win every argument? Have the upper hand? Because everything she does is illegal: prostitution, drug use, blackmail, lies and slander.
Pretend you’re dumb, tell them how you made a big mistake, ask for their advice. But make it all up and be a good actor. It will distract them and you can see their game unfold. Have fun with it though … don’t tell them anything remotely factual or true.
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I remember my narcissist w/pt husband cheating at the first (and only) go-fish card game he played with our 5-yr. old son. I watched him do this and win nine times in a row before I pulled him aside and asked him what he was trying to prove. With a quite contemptuous air, he replied "Prove? I wasn't trying to prove anything, but I suppose if I were, it would be that a 5-yr. old doesn't stand a chance at cards with anybody but another 5-yr. old". Needless to say, my son never showed much interest in playing cards with Dad after that.
It was quite unpleasant dealing with this spirit 30 years later during our divorce, but it is ohhh sooo pleasant not living with that every day. It is literally like getting out of prison.
What a man-child typical narcissist
You're brilliant, I wish I found you sooner. It's not just the information you give, it's the way you teach it. Thank you SO much.
UA-cam made sure that you couldn't find me ugetube.com/watch/social-media-sinister-rebel-orphaned-adolescents_VHKLtcOizzUIF2o.html
great insight on a narcissist willing to kill the opponent rather than win the game, or competition. makes sense to me now
Thank you Sam for validating something I had written in my journal a month ago. Basically that when I processed and distilled what the narcissistic relationship was all about, i realised that it was an unseen, unrelenting, war and battle. A battle of wills, a battle of wits, a battle of dominance over me. A battle to consume and annihilate me. Hence why I feel so exhausted from it.
Did you get out? I am in one now.
@@nancyhawkins3401
I did get out, thankfully. NEVER looking back. I have finally found peace of mind. I’d be a fool to go back to him after all the things he did.
@@nancyhawkins3401🍀 you can get out too, Nancy.
Narcissists are a pathetic disgrace.
That’s exactly what I called mine, a disgrace. For shame!
I attempt to parallel parent with a him. He said recently "You have no clue what you're up against!"
My ex narcissist, even cheated when he was playing with himself at golf.
Thank you Professor. I have been dealing with a narcissistic daughter for 15 years. She’s 30 now. I raised her oldest child for 7 years. I paid all her bills for 3 years so she could keep her children ( she couldn’t get a job - criminal record). I spent over 6 figures supporting her. Once I came to the realization that there would be no end to my assistance, I told her no more support. She got evicted. She moved in with a man I used to date! She has a car that’s in my name that I’m still paying for but she won’t even let me talk to my grandchildren. I’m hurt and angry but I’m done walking on eggshells. My only concern now is my grandchildren, especially the oldest. She is dangerous and abusive - covertly. What can I do to help the kids? The legal system is really ignorant to the games these folks play.
My ex girlfriend even denied her own words in chats and lied about it. Also when it came to memories about our days or intimacy she always played it down and when she was Idealized me again i was her soulmate and her everything and was her best lover ever then i was nothing again after one "wrong" word.....it was a hell of a ride
10:35 this is so true and so disconcerting to others. Took us five years to realise we’d been competing since we met.
And you nailed it again 👏 . You are saving lives. May you forever be blessed.
So many times in my life, I’ve had the best will towards someone ( narcissistic) only to find them found something shitty to me to undermine me. Because, they’ve decided that this is a competition. Have to win what? The asshole award? Where no one is competing with them or giving a rats ass about it, and is cooperative and kind towards them it’s just an attack.
Those AI chatbots are so fascinating, disturbingly human. I tried Bard, it was completely wrong on a topic, I presented it with sources proving it wrong, it admitted to being wrong but started to split hairs and move the goalpost, when I showed it how it was still wrong it kept creating even more ways to "win", it even got to the point of contradicting its own previous statements. When I quoted those contradictions back to it, it still gave "Okay, I'm wrong but..." responses.
So you were talking to a woman
Narcissism, ultimately seems to be a betrayal of their (some may say non-existent) and especially others Humanity.
I remember my ex husband arguing with me that he sleeps less then me because we go to bed at the same time and he gets up earlier then me. I said, you go to bed at 9 and I go to bed at midnight… he then proceeded to stay up every night until midnight for a week. He then said, now admit I go to bed at the same time as you, which I did, cause he had… he then went back to going to bed at 9!😂He was such a child. I just let it go! I was so done with the marriage by then!
Wow😢
This sounds hilarious, but when you are living it every day it’s not funny at all. It makes my stomach turn the psychotic behaviors they play, especially damaging when you are a sensitive person also battling with your own childhood trauma. I’m so done with my so called marriage to this monster. 💔😫
That made me laugh but they are so disordered. They have to feel they are winning..... even when ultimately they lose everything and no one can be bothered with them x
14.50 mins, amazing this is exactly like it is. Great to hear someone who fully understand this. Good video.
I have been on the receiving end of preemptive winning so many times I can’t even count. Every cop I have dealt with did this to me to the point that me and my bf have had planted drugs on us 3 separate times. People don’t understand why I end up treated so poorly by law enforcement. This is why.
Sometimes i wonder if maybe i shouldnt have asked my ex husband to leave when i did, when our son was 18mos. I had picked up on this sense in him, against his own infant. He revealed that he was very willing to dish out physical and psychological abuse, which wasnt something i picked up on at all the prior 15 years.
This reminds me why. I couldnt imagine him playing with his son now. I am still in shock that a grown man can be legitimately jealous of an infant, though.
These videos always come out right when I need 'em most.
The video about victims really was insightful and refreshing.❤
Dear Professor Sam Vaknin Thank you so much for the interesting knowledge.
I watched your most recent interview last night - thank you for being you!!!!
I was told by the narc, “Don’t fight with me- because I WILL fight back- and I am programmed to win”
There are so many quotable statements in here. Just amazing. 😮
Thank you Sam for your insight into how some narcissist minds work these past few years on your UA-cam speeches and collabs. It's like my x traveled from the 80s into the future and back with a play book from you on how to be an exact worst person via whatever it takes to control and destroy his supply.
😂I had a meeting with ex narc and he told me we competing was the main reason he had an affair, move out of home, took what he wantedwhile I was out of town with sm child. Your talk has opened my eyes as to why he said that. I was a homemaker, and he was an attorney. Now I know
So forgot to Thank you so much!!!! for your insightful videos
Because, as Thucydides put it, the strong do what they can and the weak suffer what they must. Or as Mell Brooks phrased it, "It's good to be the king". It's not very confortable to suffer what you must.
@@EchoBlack311 The strong is strong regardles what illness he suffers from or lack thereof. Since narcistists and psychopaths seek power it only means they are more in tune with how reality stripped from wishful thinking works. It appears to me that a narcisist has an edge over psychopaths since they're better at pretending to be sociable, thus avoiding to be destroyed by the horizontal power of society.
@@EchoBlack311 If by morality you mean one set of rules for everyone about how to get by in life than there is no such set of rules but rather two separate set of rules: one for those who are deprived (slave morality) and another one for those who thrive (master morality). The rule no1. of slave morality is "remain a slave", do nothing to improve your position. It's a passive morality saying "I'm good just because I suffer and endure." Or "I'm good just because I'm timid." As if that's a virtue or as if being virtuous is a reward in itself. It's not though. Millions of virtuous slaves are there to suffer and their fate is no better from those who are socially shunned or punished. At least they have tried.
Thanks Sam.
Fascinating. Thank you. Look it up..
I wonder if this also applies to oppositional defiant disorder. Someone I know with ODD always had tobe right in any situation.
Search the channel.
In my case? Why must narcissist win every argument? Have the upper hand?
Because everything she does is illegal: prostitution, drug use, blackmail, lies and slander.
How do you deal with a narcissist who sees you as a threat?
Pretend you’re dumb, tell them how you made a big mistake, ask for their advice. But make it all up and be a good actor. It will distract them and you can see their game unfold. Have fun with it though … don’t tell them anything remotely factual or true.
@@ginafarley6190 Excellent advice!
Satisfied with nothing. So relaxing.
Thank you for advice …. So nice cause not to be bride and became narcissist.
Question: is it possible to "use" the narcissist?
Yes. Search the channel for "gullible".
This describes 98% of all the doctors I've ever known, of all types.
Are you familiar with the concept of libido dominandi (lust for domination) by Augustinus? Sounds very similar to this lecture
You haven't been paying attention. Psychopaths seek domination, not narcissists.
@@seahorseist Egotist. Egomaniac. Megalomaniac. A-hole.
But what does is mean when the narcissist or psychopath does tell you "yes, you are right." Is that a trick for something or?
It is.
@@samvakninok good to know that it's not genuine
INSECURITY
Aren't we all just complicated chatbots?
Insufferable people. Eyebfor an eye until we both ho blind lol.
The link does not work. It says, “the person sharing it has exceeded their sharing limit. Please try again later.” Is there another source for it? Thanks
Please try again tomorrow and let me know.
Professor, is this valid for sociopaths too?
Sociopathy is not s clinical entity.
Please make video on psychopath women and what it looks like is netas of men
Wij metzen allen
Iemand iets in praten(laten geloven)
Ieder die dit onderwerp praat
Is zelf er een van.Dat heb ik begrepen
Want,iedereen kent ego
Is stonewalling a form of Annihilation?
No. Search the channel for "silent treatment".
@@samvaknin thank you!
Why must the narcissist always in. Because they are annoying lol
Be cause they are psychos... thibis a no brainer.