WHY Narcissist LOVES YOU To (YOUR) DEATH!
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
- Narcissist loves through the death instinct, kills the love object by removing its ontological attributes: internalizing it and then disabling (“freezing”) it. Coercive snapshotting completes the process of entraining.
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Hello from Israel 🤗
It's so true. I felt that i had to be nothing , to kill every espect of my personality in order to keep this relationship on going.
My ex killed my libido, my life force , my creativity , me self esteem, my sanity, and my ability to want and desire things.
I hated my life, i hated my self but fortunately i was strong enough to escape this demon.
Exact same experience.. Awful and debilitating to be around them. Their negative energy and bad attitude can be way over the top and they get worse as they age. It's ugly..
@@sjackson1739Yes, it is a sad sight to see.
Same. I moved out. I am grateful. There is much work to be done to fully recover, but it can't be harder than staying there. Hope that you are well on your way to recovery❤
Same here. I was willing to kill everything inside of me to keep that demon happy and satisfied. But it was never enough. I was so trauma bonded that I was in some kind of a trance. But God showed me his real face. When he knew that I knew, he discarded me and walked out. unscathed. no explanations. no apologies. Just some more blameshifting. Next thing I knew, he is all set to marry someone else. Demon had been stringing me all the way, for months, feigning affection for my own detriment. But I have the faith that I will come out of this pain.
Thank you for sharing, I know exactly what you mean, I’ve experienced it myself almost exactly as you. I pray for your healing whole and complete. Shalom!👋🐛🦋👑💚🕊🌎IYHN🙏
I just kicked my narcissistic boyfriend out of my home after a year of draining my energy every day literally the gas lighting the lying the control of affection... I literally came to a point where I was just purely exhausted every day and I felt like I couldn't move I was paralyzed in his presence in his energy.... The day he left I felt like I could breathe again I've been happy I've had more energy I've been doing more I have a clear brain it's absolutely wonderful having him gone
Congrats! Good for you
Your story is almost the same as mine. The end for me was he humiliated me so deeply that I said " Take your clothes , if not, I call the police ". I brought him to his house and along the way his behaviour changes. Finally at his home he asked me in his lovliest words for money to buy sigarets. I think I looked at him in a way as he does not excist. I drove away. I slept the first night more than 10 hours. Good heavens, I was so tired. The first days, I spent my time removing everything that reminded me of him. Now it is one month ago and I feel so strong. Normal food at normal times, normal conversations, normal sleep at night, it makes so many differences. I hope for you everything also turns out positive.
@@DefinitelyAmberly happy for you!!
I feel you good for you .keeping on keeping gir
Same here. They drain you. I didn’t recognize myself anymore
"Materialism is a death cult." I love this type of inspirational talk. Have never heard anyone summarize the shadow side of our modern world as well as he does.
I feel the same way there worshiping materials worshiping false idols. I have a nice car and i dont drive it no more i know its all a lie i just drive my old car shes good to me and i feel nothing i sometimes feel happu looking at other people in nice cars cus i can see through their bs
A narcissist is not a human being, when you realize that you can move on.
@@ARIELH-ot5lzsame here
Not even joking, but my narc ex sometimes gave me predatorial reptilian vibes.
A human who wont let others move on...
@missadventuresmotorcycledi2773 It's not that they won't they can't. They are sick people,everyone going on like their evil. I used to until I realized they couldn't change. I can. I will still put them in their place If they try to bother me. Just stand back, take the feelings away and look at the per you will see a little boy or girl .
@@EileenOdonaghue-fr3igor maybe everyone else isnt and we are the only ones who truly see reality. I would love it if everybody was as capable as me
My narcissist was a materialist. All about things, his house, cleaning the house, keeping it perfect, his car, his clean and stylish clothes. Caring about things more than about people.
Yes I saw this also.
Same for me
Same 🫣
Yes to OCD levels
It is the image of being successful.
It's crazy. He was upset when I decided to treat my cancer.
Wow😢😢
How could you,draw the attention from him ?
I've been pushed to the brink of suicide many times in this relationship like it's a little game to him. He looks at my tears and touches them when I cry, like he likes them. I'm so getting out of here.
Hope you got out safely. Any update?
My mother shot me when I was 12. Dead for 8 minutes-safe in the spiritual world. Music is my only sanctuary of sanity and language. Now I understand why she did this. I have waited all my life for the answer. Perhaps now I shall find the courage to cease hiding behind the shadow called mother. Brilliant video... Thank You.
You're mother was way more than a narc
I'm so sorry to hear that you endured such a horrendous and severe betrayal from your mother. May God deal with her accordingly and may Be continue to bless strengthen and protect you❤🥺🫂☀️
She ain’t no Narc for sure..
@@karriesaunders8597 We are not stupid for not knowing the red flags
I can’t imagine what you went through, but you are so strong and God has plans for you. I spent 14 months post a surgery fighting for my life and on the day I thought I wasn’t going to make it and was crying out to God bc I didn’t want to leave my two little girls behind I had a spiritual experience where I was a series of visions and felt as if I was on outterspace (it was dark, but I felt as though I was up high although I wasn’t scared… hard to put into words) and then I saw Christ standing in a rectangle of light. He said, “follow me” and then I was present back in the room. I had never experienced anything like that and never have since, but I know we are here for a purpose and there is much more than just this physical world.
Many prayers for healing in your heart. God bless 🤍🙏
At the end of my relationship, I felt like my body was dying. I even felt like I was more valuable to my ex dead. Thank you for the insight. This helps me make sense of that part of my relationship.
I tried to kill myself 6 months before the relationship ended. I maimed my hand with the tendon injuries. I mentally broke again in February and that’s when the discard happened. Him and his mother tried to throw me in a mental institution, when that didn’t work they called the police on me for harassment and followed me and my daughter around. I think they wanted me to kill myself. I was also prediabetic and had signs of kidney failure in my blood work and urine. 5 months later my blood work and urine is almost completely normal. They are pure evil people. I don’t hope for their destruction, I pray everything they have given out is returned in full.
@@ShadowJerker-st3ljThat pretty much the same thing
@@PuertoPrincessa15not true
@@ShadowJerker-st3lj Thank God You are gone! After one year I was ready to kick her To The curb. Why did it take so long for you to leave??????
My ex used to say he wished he could keep mein a terarium.
A narcissist can watch you deteriorating yet their pain is worse.No amount of illness, depression or even your dying gets through to them.Their pain is always worse,they are sick,they are dying..the ultimate victim while standing on your gravestone because you abandoned them.
Oh my😮 this guy absolutely hates it when I go to the bathroom! If I’m in there a minute longer than he thinks he can stand he begins to disrespect my privacy and has even removed the lock from the bathroom door. 😢
That's not normal
This happened to me too. It’ll escalate. Within a few weeks after that he wouldn’t let me walk out the door to take out the trash
This happened to my brother...he stayed in/with a demon narc for 16 yrs and finally developed stage 4 rectal cancer and died a horrible painful death...and the demon was there until the bitter end trying his best to look like the ultimate martyr/ partner....Evil personified!!!!!
so was my mother when my father dies, there till the end and was still mistreating him- she loved the power she had at the end of his life
Yep, I have felt like he wants to kill me, with the level of stress etc. People look at you like you are mad if you tell them that. A few people get it, here it is.
My covert narcissist would creep up on me unaware. She would perch in a spot where I couldn't see her. She would remain motionless no blinking her eyes Black, staring intensely on the back of my head. Eventually I could feel it, I had to lift myself up and twist my neck to see her. We would be looking eye to eye but it took a few seconds for her to register eye contact. She would blink look away and immediately flee. Poof, she would be gone.
You only understand if you’ve been through it. I get it. I lived it.
My narc told me at the beginning of the relationship: :" What's new, gets old." He pretty much already canceled a relationship in his mind.
I am aware that one cannot go around and diagnose people as narcissists by simply watching these great videos... but, gosh.. it is the closure I desperately needed.
That's fortunate, since our narcissists are not likely to provide closure.
There's no diagnosis of a specific individual. Just informing or educating people on the different disorders, specifically, Narcissism
Oh my God. So that's why I have been getting deathly ill throughout my 25 year marriage. And he LEFT me over a month ago when he finally almost did me in and I was hospitalized in respiratory failure from pneumonia. Now he has a vicious attorney and he is trying to take the house, all the money, and leave me destitute. This video explains it all.
Yes, that happened to me as well. I'm sorry for what you are going through.
It took me three years and eight months for the divorce to be final.
It was very stressful.
I wish you good health and happiness on the other side of this evil. Keep watching videos, they do help.
I forget about divorce. We are separated and this is enough. Is anyone else going through separation without divorce?
After 25 years marriage I was instructed by social services to take my two youngest children and leave him because of what he would do to them. I got 150 miles away and initially thought separation was enough. However my solicitor advised divorce as without divorce he could still take anything I inherited. You never know what may come your way. I was glad I did. Do pray to God however and He will let you know He is there for you. it's something we have to actually do in order to know God is there and is more powerful to help than we realise. Meanwhile go for divorce, anything, for your own self-protection. And may God bless you.
@@truthteller-yu7kfthis may be the only option left for me. I am 74. Barely alive after 47 years of marriage and dealing with his family of seven adult children. My family was left behind on another continent. All I want just few years of peace ☮️ and the ownership of my body. Take a good care ❤
OMG 😳 is also my response. Also profound thank you, Sam. ❤
Normal people: "amo volo ut sis" = I love, therefore I want you to be (being = existing and realizing your potential). Narcissist: "amo volo ut non sis" (non = not existing as a seperate entity, not realizing your potential). Because the narcissist himself doesn't really exist, he cannot tolerate it if you do exist and will try to destroy you.
This is why..since being married to a narcissist..my libido has faaaded away???
Yes. The intimacy is non existent. Sex with a narcissist is passionless and robotic.
This makes so much sense to me now. Now I can understand why I lost my desire of living while in the relationship with my narcisist. So glad I'm far far away now......
Brilliant, finally I understand, thank you. No use being angry about narcissist rejection.
It's a compliment.....it means you no longer fit the characteristics they need for Supply, since tvat is all we are for them.
The employer Narc where all depts are functions of HR has been interesting to battle by myself.
It's like my ex Narc (Psychopathic) exponentially by 1000
This just solved a lot of mysteries of how the failure to separate prevents them from developing anything but self-love
It wasn't until I hit rock bottom and had the overwhelming feeling that someone wanted me dead that I began to seek help and try and work out what was happening. I wish I'd had access to this wonderful explanation 35 years ago.
i was just talking about this with my mom today. i said there is no point in talking to her because she isn't interacting with me. she just isn't here.
It is absolutely crazy how they affect you. I was so absolutely focused and absorbed by her and her needs, that it took me too long to realize how much my own needs or wants were actually compromised.
What was left of my own passion and creativity can only be described as a candle, that was about to go out.
thanks everyone for the comments - when I read them I realize I wasn't a weak failure for staying so long - 17.5 years with the narcissist - children and I voted divorce as we felt we were for sure dead if we stayed and possibly had a chance at life if we left. Stay strong and thank you Prof Sam for caring - hugs everyone
You need to break down the shared fantasy completely. In my case, no creativity for years, no music, no painting, nothing like this... It throws me right back into shared fantasy an delusions. Drop all the toys, scare the narcissist away!! Build back life
Chilling...I dated him. He was married 23 years. She was everything i would never be...because she evidently liked being controlled. She died suddenly at age 50. In her home when she was home alone, dropped dead. And i mourn the man i thought he was...the man who didn't exist.
No wonder I feel like his dead object
I remember when he told me he had "come to terms with my dying soon." I do think I had lost enough of my life force that if we had stayed married much longer, I would have checked out.
Thank you Professor for this incredibly insightful video. I was raised by a BPD mother, who was obsessed with suicide, and a narcissistic father, who stalked us for 22 years and threatened constantly to kill us. I'm 55 years old now and am doing my practicum as a Drug and Alcohol Counselor and interact with narcissists daily (and not just patients but collegues also!). Your video has taught me so much and I intend to be even more cautious now.
I just got discarded by a narcissist that is a drug counselor.
Stay frosty out there
I'm a narcissist magnit! Try to see it coming. Know the routine. If we love ourselves we don't need to hear the crap they feed us. ❤
I'm 8 minutes in and never heard a better explanation of it.
This guy will stand in the bathroom waiting for me to go... Won't let me shower alone...
Leave him
READING YOURS pearpo lol
Leave please been there it’s not going to end well
i felt as if i had died, but just alive enough to know something was desperately wrong. As a child around these people, i thought i was like a fly caught in amber... or something fossilised... its a kind of living death. i agree with one of the other commenters, its a huge insight and helps me to understand the part of that experience that still terrifies me when i remember it.THANKYOU
@@caroleminke6116 yes that makes sence. the more i learn the more i understand how sick these people are.
Professor this is just amazing! I used to tell her she had a death wish.... I was often more accurate than I ever knew or wanted to know. The "death instict".... fascinating and terrifying. Please keep this content coming. And thank you for what you do. 👏🙏🙇♂️
I have found EMDR therapy to be very effective wt recovering from narcissistic and borderline abuse. My mother was borderline and my childhood best freind (or thought was friend) was narcissist.
Narcissistic parents should be jailed!!
Only 5 minutes in, and already, I recognise so much of what you say..I was reading through an old diary of mine I found, as I have no one to talk to, and several times, I mentioned how I felt how my husband was trying to kill me..I used to be so frightened of him, I'd tell him to sleep in the spare room, and jam the door so I felt safe to sleep. Even what you say about the toilet is true. I'd wait till he was busy with something , then rush in. I will continue watching your video, so I can heal and find new strength to cope..thank you.
My EX-husband used to tell me that when I died, he would put my body in a glass case to preserve it so he can look at me every day. He would tell me this after we took out life insurance policies.
After we were separated, he found out about one of my doctor’s appointment and called the front desk the day of my appointment to tell them I was crazy in hopes that I would have to be held in the hospital and evaluated for three days. Because if I looked crazy, then it wouldn’t make him look bad then everything would be my fault.
In my case, he used to wake up around 3 am, 4 or even 5 am… is there anyone here who happened to go trough the same routine with the narc?
Felt tired and sick all the time… completely drained and completely depressed…
Narcissists often use sleep deprivation as a way of controlling and grinding down their partner. They frequently have odd sleeping patterns themselves and will force it onto their partner. The narc ex would wake me up in the night and say he couldn't sleep and he didn't see why I should sleep while he was awake. They are sick.
Yes I’ve seen this as well.
Yes
I want to live 😢
Thats the 1st step to your freedom. Celebrate
Wow, this explains a lot!!! Near Death experiences and destruction always follow him. Thank you.
Thank you Doctor Vaknin for all the work that you. Appreciate all the wealth of knowledge I learned from all your videos. Took me 15 years to understand Narcissism and what it is. I now know that I am NOT crazy and sick in the head.
For every man who has ever been snared in and played by a hurtful and inauthentic woman
“She cloaks herself in false allure,
A siren of deceit and charm,
Her words a honeyed poison pure,
A master of emotional harm.
With eyes that mirror skies of blue,
She lures him in with gentle lies,
Feeding on his love so true,
While beneath her mask, darkness lies.
She craves his praise, his adoration,
His kindness she twists to her gain,
Her heart a void, devoid of sensation,
Leaving him lost in silent pain.
Beware the siren's treacherous call,
Her whispers dripping with manipulation,
She'll break his spirit, make him fall,
Her love a cruel hallucination.
Stand strong, kind man, against her wiles,
Protect your heart, your soul, your truth,
For in her web of twisted smiles,
She seeks to steal your precious youth.
Know your worth, reclaim your power,
From her toxic grasp, break free,
For in the light of truth's clear tower,
You'll find strength in authenticity.”
~ Janelle Siegenberg
Sending you so much love!
Janelle ❤️🔥
Such a good teacher and explainer. Wish I would have known all this years ago. Thank you!
Boker tov! Shalom from Israel Sam Vaknin! Thank you for helping me and so many others to have a crystal clear understanding of narcissistic behavior. I know it has benefitted me beyond measure.
My narcisstic ex girlfriend would be starting at me when i awoke with a look that said i despise you i wish you dead,wonder what she was thinking
Wow Sam your videos have been different lately but in the best way. I’m only a few minutes into this and my mind is already blown. Thank you for this, it’s huge!!!!
I'm so SO grateful for your videos. I couldn't truly wrap my mind around what a real narcissist was, or accept that I might have actually found someone with true, blue NPD. I did. 100%, holy shit, I did. Anyhow, the way you explain things has been sparking my creativity and I'm writing again. He said my poetry is childish and poetry is dumb. I think it can help people. Thank you for being so inspirational, welcome back, and I'd like to share just one of the poems you've (and, well, my unicorn narcissist) inspired.
He Loved Her, Nearly to Death
Can't speak
But she hasn't forgotten how to think
Can't feel
But she still knows what is real
Cornered, she just cowers
Tallying the hours until she's free
As she struggles in darkness to find the key's grace
That will relieve her from this suffocating embrace
She's almost dead, you see?
He couldn't say "I love you" enough
But his kisses were rigid
And his hugs were rough
Pinned to the floor
She couldn't tell which way was up anymore
Nearly empty, he still ran with her cup and proceeded to pour
She was only alive the moment they met
He took a snapshot
Then quickly forgot
To him, she's just an object
If it meant she never left him, he'd proudly steal her last breath
He loved her, nearly to death
Your poem is beautiful 🥰
It took me a while to realise, and even longer to accept but, my ex defenitly tried to get me as far as to were I might kill myself. My friends, a few of them were also his, some of them still refuse to believe this and think im dramatic. But they have never looked him in the eyes at a moment he was 'full on''. Also he was the kind that is only a narcissist to his çhosen one'. I had to let this go, I need to let go of the feeling that my friends will never know or understand this. Thats the shit that makes you feel alone. Basterds, let them go.
Pretending feels like you lie to self or even selling its own soul. Think of what result makes you feel more ok, what will make the rest of your life easier? Money that you might need because this shit tends to fuck you up and you might need some therapie or you havent been able to look after one self so ended up having money trouble. Then go for his money as compenstion. But when keeping in contact means you will loose yourself even more...there 's no money in the world that can bring back the dead ;)
Thank you for your reply. Take care and be well.@NarcfreewithGod
Yep. Enough to drive u as mad as them isn't it. Their loss. Its a plus life without those cognitive dissonants, not a negative. Enablers, I call them.
@@yellowdayz1800 One year later, doing much better. Thank you, Love from Rotterdam nl
This is an incredible video. Sam, I have no words for the insight you have given me. This information is a game changer. I will re-listen to this as it is so hard to take it all in. Thank you!
He gave me a terminal illness and a heart condition with a heart attack which would've been my end; I died briefly but was resuscitated in hospital...when I got out he shouted at me everyday for s week...he has killed me over and over again...30 yrs of NPD/psychopathy...still ongoing...
GET OUT!❤
Record every interaction with him. Get a domestic violence order or similar against him and throw him out and change the locks. He IS trying to kill you. Are you willing to be a martyr for a person that only has contempt for you? Respect yourself coz he does not. Gets friends to help you kick him out. Get police involved when he is yelling at you saying you fear for your life.
Thats what his is trying to do :(
I was in flight or flight mode for two whole years my immune stress went out of control... I developed cancer. I wonder if the all the trauma was the catalyst.
divorcing reality .. that’s exactly what they do! wow!
And then they take reality's house and half its money.
They hate the word "love" and "mercy"
I just had an 💡 moment! Thank you very much for the explanation of the mechanism at play in the narcissist’s mind and conception of love. It makes so much sense. It’s the first time I understand death instinct.
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE AND TAKE YOUR KIDS WITH YOU!!
NARC LOOKS A SHADOW OF HIMSELF ...ABANDONED BY THE AFFAIR PARTNER HE LEFT A LIFETIME MARRIAGE FOR HIS SUPPLY IS LOW & ITS SHOWING BIG TIME .....
CV no😂😂
Scary.. he told me he loved me to death and that was the problem.. didn’t understand what it meant until now
You are great ,talking about my marriage, took me 25 years to get that,on the road to recovery.Wish i knew about you sooner.Thank you. So on point.
This makes perfect sense as i have never been anyones enemy and the hate he put me through for no reason was bewildering
I dont want to be a active agent i will get on with my life and forget him as he is incapable of being normal. Its shocking as when you first meet him his smile is endearing but its unreal how awful they can be. They dont love they treat people like objects. Yes he switches energy and when he tried to hurt me infelt he switched the energy and gave me psychosis 100 percent
Profound … and sad.
I've read alot on npd but your explanation is the best I've heard. I broke it off with someone that had a cluster illness but wouldn't admit what it included. I'm pretty sure npd, bpd and depression. Luckily I knew what was happening and got out soon. Even so part of me still misses him.
I started dating a narc and he was staring at me and said I can see you as a skeleton. Obviously having learned nothing from the first narc, I married one who has recently strangled me (authorities are involved). The death they wish is very real.
I often though of this theory.... Death instinct.
Im free of that incumberant... To live my own lifestyle with joy & peace.
Your theory was enforced for yrs.. I was a zombie.. On verge of death from abuse etc etc.. Amazing how you explainit exactly as I lived it. So sad.
Same a zombie ..best way to avoid an disassociate
So, what you are saying also is the narcissist does not gaslight because he truly believes what he/she is saying, but a sociopath will gaslight to convince you that there is something wrong with you? Wow, that explains a lot about my son and his wife. They both had me questioning my every thought, even though I am a creature of habit, accusing me of things I would never do to another person. The wife accused me of abuse to her and my grandson. Playing the victim role, when I was a nanny and trusted with their two week old baby for a week. My son began to treat me like a child and was very condescending like his wife was to me. He didn't dare defend me and I think he kind of liked it. I have not seen my grandson, for 3 years.
The wife and family did not make me feel welcome at their wedding, I had to sleep in the park in October in Oregon. Then I later realized why his wife "forgot" the wedding disk they made for the reception. My son had picked out two songs that he wanted me to dance to, and she was willing to just use the radio for music. She and her mom are wedding planners, I found it hard to believe doing that was not intentional. My son is a bully, he was a great kid until he was a teen then something changed in him. Always, trying to guilt me if I asked him for help around the house. We were going to counseling together and separately, but the counselor was also being gaslit and she thought he had depression, I didn't want to admit some of the things he said and did to her, because, I was embarrassed.
His wife's family is very abusive and the mom is very controlling and lots of drama with people outside of their cult-like family.
So, what happens when two sociopaths" fall in love" and have a child? Why was I being smeared by my son and his wife? Thanks, I just needed to get this off my chest, it was like a weight on my heart. This was a very informative and helpful video.
I hate nasty narcs to their early deaths too! 😂😊😉
I remember when I married my narc husband he cried for an hour and when I asked him why you cry, he said what happens if one of us die earlier than the other one… 😮 he experienced huge pain of abandonment I guess…
Prof. Vaknin, I thank you for these lectures. I am learning so much.
Wow!!! 😳 this is a nuts way of thinking
This has been insightful on so many levels.Thank you
Absolutely right ! This is exactly true 👍❣️
Youre doing a great work. An indispensable Jew. Ty
Guten Tag 🌞 Prof. Sam.
Danke für diese Erklärung.
Übrigens schöne Haare!
Incredible. Thank you.
I love Sam's lectures because understanding situations with people in my life gives me comfort, but at the same time keep me in those situations because Sam's lectures also make me more empathetic to said people's motives. So I'm stuck in the cycle. 😅
Thanks for this clear explanation ❤ It is clearing lot of thoughts I had with my partner and I very time had the feeling is it real feeling what she is sharing. For here it was real but on my site not. Gives me a lot of peace of my decision to cut the relationship and close all communications 😊
I've learned and makes sense about what your saying about love. From the first days I was so young and he said we couldn't use our real names. Hindsight I know why he coursed me into saying he could call me love. So everyone thought I was his much younger hot blonde wife madly in love. Beware of excepting a pet name. We have no love but he caught me and has had a charmed easy life, fooling everyone that we were happily married. He had his SSS needs all met for years as you mentioned is what they want. I'm getting such insight from your teachings how I trapped to. Now I would look bad to leave an old man who had no money and had no friends old and needs a caregiver. My adult years of life so far have been to make him happy, content and take care of him This information you share is so interesting and spot on. Thank you!
You help me so much Sam ..I thank you forever ❤
This was excellent thank you.
😳 This makes so much sense. 😢
I love your view. Your explanation makes so much sense. Love to hear you speak
Thank You a milion prof Vaknin xxx
My wife is a narcissist.So true your words are!
Mine just started saying he loves me but had left me for dead so many times and told me he hopes I freeze to death or get murdered . And he always tells me to kill myself. I know he’s waiting for me to. And that’s only way that I’ll be able to ever make him happy. That’s why I’m trying not to!
Mister Sam valka and I really appreciate your talks
really excellent breakdown of the narc perspective and so true, this talk may be the most important 54 minutes on the subject
Omg, I had a so-called friend in whom I saw a lot of this.
Death in sense not from body but as all your right or choices or emotions he wanted control and rule as he want.
I always listen to the term cathexis by you prof , and I thought I understood what it means. but now that I listened to the wide meaning of it , I thought of addictions.
Thank you for your video's - they are a priceless education. Would you please consider one on the overlap of Cluster B PD and Munchausen syndrome by Proxy?
Search the channel.
This is just terrifying....I have a son and home with this woman and I don’t know how all this is ending.
Prof Vaknin please could you do a video on narc daughter in law. She's completely messed up my wonderful son who now refuses to have anything to do with us. It's so so sad
Well now I know why I was regulary thinking about jumping from oure becony. Good that we broke up because it was just a matter of time.
All thoughts were gone since then and never came back up.
I like psychoanalysis. I studied counselling and psychotherapy and would have just done psychotherapy with the psychoanalysis aspect for a job 😅 I didn't care much for the counselling (dealing with the here and now but diving back to find the roots)
I love councelling
So they are crazy?
theyre evil stay away
Yes, I could feel that in a way. Very interesting. Thank you Sam.
This concept of object cafesis was super interesting to learn about! Thank you for your video
Cathexis.
Brilliant lecture ❤
Hi @sam! Thank you for sharing this! Do you have any videos detailing the narcissists that are in survival mode with regard to their current life occurrences and delays and financial hardships/ irresponsibilities?
Yes. Search for mortification and for collapsed.
I often wondered if "coming down" with two chronic illnesses after 3 years of marriage (will be married almost 20 years), had or has anything to do with being married to a Covert. Proper rest, support & care was never an option for me so over time my symptoms (both illnesses), got worse. What stinks is that when I do have an opportunity to sleep/rest it is short lived because he likes to stay up late and has this cycle of waking up anywhere between 3 - 5 am. He has this pattern because he takes 1 - 2 naps most days. I cannot nap, I feel guilt, my heart pounds, etc.
Are you able to sleep in separate rooms. I worked my way around it after the first 14 years..
@@ruthfowler390 Currently, all other bedrooms are occupied with our children and office so there really is no other option than to sleep in the same room together. It's annoying because he is completely oblivious to how loud he plays his electronics/laptop at all hours of the day/night. He works from home so there is zero respite.
I have asked him multiple times if he could turn it down or plug in his earphones. Once he's awake (2 - 5 am), he will go shave, brush his teeth, make sounds, flop around as if he's trying to wake me up (which he does). What really confuses me is is that he will ask me how I slept and apologise if he disturbed me. I don't know if it's genuine or not, but my children and I live in a very confusing state so it's hard to tell what is sincere and what is not.
And may I add that I do recognize that 5 am is not a bad time to start the morning, but when your spouse takes naps during the day, stays up until midnight (maybe later), and wakes up between 2 - 5 am for the day, it's very difficult for the other person to function on 2 - 4 hours sleep especially when you're dealing with chronic illnesses, one in which has been causing problems with my kidneys for the past 2 years.
I recognise what you are saying through my own experiences... also, only two days ago, I said to my husband, ' I don't understand why I'm always fighting illness, and you never get sick' .. I've aged very much, in a short period of time... I sleep on the couch lots.. get a better sleep too. It's very difficult to come to a conclusion other than leave , but that's just not that easy.. I wonder if there were support groups .just a thought. I used to do daily meditation, yoga, he stopped all that by standing, watching me, so I'd go outside, and he'd be hiding behind a tree. I've often gone to the library just for the sake of peace..You are much stronger than you think, and I feel your strength comes from being a mother. If you can give yourself one thing a day, like walk in the park, something, just for you. It does help to cope. You, are a good Mom. 🦋🦋💕
@@ruthfowler390 Thank you for taking the time out of your day to express your kind words and suggestions. It's nice when you come across people who share similar experiences in life whether it be the good, the not-so-good or anything in between. May you (and your child/ren?), find true peace one day 🌻
Red flags everywhere there. I’d be leaving him asap. In the meantime don’t let him nap. Keep him awake like he keeps you awake. Get the neighbors on side and make loud noises just as he is asleep. But deny deny deny all knowledge of it occurring. Put a dead prawn near him just as he gets to sleep with his nap. Most importantly make a plan to leave - before you get really sick and cannot. He is behaving like a spoilt brat and knows it. He’s getting his rest and deliberately denying you rest. If you think you can keep going in like this you in the fantasy works he’s trying to push you into. 😢. He’s even not allowing you to be a good mother to your kids coz you are I’ll and over tired.