John Mulaney Opens Up About His Addiction and Recovery
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- Опубліковано 20 кві 2023
- Excerpt from John Mulaney | This Past Weekend 440
Full Episode: • John Mulaney | This Pa...
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Who's john mulaney? with all the drug DEATHS in this country, why should I care?
This guest sucks
@@patrickodonnell9770 to 3ww2qww4ese3
Because they’re short
Same drug mix for me (up/high/up/high then what we call balance loll) + alcohol and be super high functioning no one new...... I loved all of it.
I got sick (my body can't stand alcohol anymore) and had a psychosis cuz i stopped on my own/alone in my apartment during covid brake September 2020.
It's all good now..... Love the challenge/fact of being able to say no 🎉🎉🎉🎉
☮️💞
Just wanted to comment here to proudly share that, 8 days from now, I will have been sober for 4 years.
As the leader of the resistance, you set a great example. Thank you John Connor.
Thats really good to hear, hope you’re doing well.
Congratulations. That’s incredibly impressive and you have a lot to be proud of.
bad ass my dude
Congrats man.
You could tell this conversation was good for Theo, rarely do you see him this laser focused on a conversation without throwing in any jokes. I’m glad they’re both working on being better.
Same!! Very interesting and very relatable. ♡
When you’re in recovery, talking about it with other people is like shifting gears in your brain. I believe most of it is because you don’t get to just talk about it to anyone throughout your day (because most don’t care) so when someone asks it just comes right out. I did this a couple weeks ago for some friends.
"Tesla ghost" was pretty funny
Exactly, good to know they have each other for support
Lmao. You arent his therapist bro
As someone who has never done drugs, this conversation was both intriguing and absolutely terrifying at the same time.
Addiction is 50% genetic.
I had both high functioning addicts for parents. My brother who also became a Dr. is also a high functioning addict.
I never tried anything until I was in my 60's.
Retired people are wild!!!
But still preach preach preach the Science.
Don't risk it.
As someone whose tried everything. Don't be scared xD just don't do it. But if you do give us a ring.
That "i havent sleep and i can tell, but i don't know if everyone else can" can be achieved with alcohol, insomnia, school, work, it's more about the sleeplessness than the drugs.
As soon as he said "feel that's warmth in your bones" i knew he was seeing me
@@fernandotrevinocastro1018
As someone who has never done drugs, but who has done several all nighters, I was relating so much with this conversation. It's exactly how I felt although I only had caffeine in my system.
@@vincentvangogodancer it's weird how we have all this "internet goblin" subculture memes, but i havent seen this concept put to words, i think they hit an untapped meme.
I have insomnia and the part around 9:50 describing that feeling of being alert and being almost animalistic as you navigate normal, daytime establishments surrounded by people who do not carry the same sleep variables you currently do, I've never heard anyone so cleanly acknowledge that feeling. It's so true though.
Glad to see it wasn't just me that it stuck out in particular to....Idk what about it but he just describes it with uncanny accuracy.
I work overnight, have insomnia, and regularly do drugs. Never heard someone vocalize how it feels sometimes so perfectly.
Its honestly such a bizarre feeling, I never fell into a coke problem like these two, but every time I've done coke it was all night and that so accurately describes the morning after just on no sleep but still so alert. The warm bones thing I had no idea anyone else felt haha.
It's almost like you're slightly vibrating. I got diagnosed with bipolar and am on sleep meds now but I'd stay awake for days at times, even hallucinating and still feel good (I actually felt like shit) but my body felt high. So odd
@@OfTheCoast1234567 Yeah vibrating is a good term for it. Your body feels ablaze, like you're almost in fight or flight but not quite because you know you're not in danger, just really reduced on sleep.
I am SOOOO glad that John Mulaney is opening up about his addiction. So many of us don’t “look” like addicts and it can take longer to get help, it’s harder to admit, and the deeper it goes. Much love to you both! You are both helping people with this WAYYY more than you know. ❤
Yeah that's totally relatable - I work on issues with alcohol completely alone because if I even start to mention having an issue to someone else they snicker and say "you don't look like an alcoholic". The way I look, if I have adult problems or am doing anything else like an adult people think it's funny like I'm a child pretending to be an adult.
Yes! I lived what appeared as a fully functional life as a hard working mom, I made every event for my kids, I worked a salary 9-5 and I started two side business. I had a nice house we rented, I never missed rent payments. Anyway when I finally ODed and died on fentanyl after a 25 year long secret addiction to opiates people were beyond shocked! And I thought I wish I had stayed dead because i was mortified. My big secret was out! No one know the whole 25 years besides my dad. And he was a addict my whole life but he was also successful and so no one besides me knew. And he started drugging me w/ opiates just before I turned 10 and then drugging me daily by 13 w/ the strongest pain pills there was at the time. (1990s). My father was very well respected in our community, people really liked him so he had friends in high places and doctor friends who allowed him to place drug orders like it was a damn Amazon order, anything he wanted as much as he wanted. I remember one of the prescriptions he got regularly was for 360 pills a month with 12 refills. It’s insane. So by the time I was an adult i had a full blown addiction and didn’t even realize it. I had trusted doctors and my father that I needed these pills. But around 19 I tried to stop since I was living at college n never liked taking so many pills. I became violently sick for weeks. I did some research (social media didn’t exist yet and the internet was brand new, no cell phones etc) and figured out I was dependent physically. I had no idea prior you could be dependent on anything from a doctor. I didn’t get help until I was 37! I had asked for help from doctors and treatment centers in my area but no one believed i needed it, it was bizarre. Like because of how good and put together I “presented”. I was a expert at masking. But by the final 3 years I was doing street drugs only mainly fentanyl and H. I never was a IV user. I had it done to me a few times. Not one person in my life would have ever guessed that. But I didn’t like to be “high” or nodding out. I just was in survival mode trying to keep myself well so my entire life didn’t fall apart. I was also a huge people pleaser. I grew up w/ a diagnosed narcissist as a mom. Among other mental struggles she had. It made me consider try to make everyone else happy. It was out of control. I still wanted a “normal” life so badly. And I adored my kids more than anything and couldn’t imagine shattering their world. I had worked so hard to build it. Anyway I’ve been clean 2 years. I’m still doing outpatient treatment. My addiction being a quarter century long and basically my entire life from a small child to late 30s. It’s been a wild two years being sober. Im so thankful i finally got help. I never thought I’d ever be able to live sober. I never thought anyone would help me after being rejected every time I brought it up to doctors or local rehab centers. It was like they didn’t believe me. I had to die on fentanyl to be taken seriously. And i have a lot of issues I still have to deal with and will forever have to deal w/ because my brain developed on fucking OxyContin and percs from age 10 on. And there was other more mild drugs n alcohol given to me even younger. So my brains hella fucked up. Obviously. But I’m so thankful now. And so happy to be free from the chains of addiction and all the anxiety that comes with it. It’s the worst life you can imagine. And I wasn’t as deep as most people get w/ the street life/danger side. That was never appealing to me. Thank god. I managed somehow to never be arrested. I don’t even have a speeding ticket. Lol not all addicts look the same. And not all addictions behave the same!!! It is crazy tho now that people know or heard I had an “addiction issue” all those people who loved me when I was fully sick in my diseased, hate me now that I’m sober. Like im now nothing but a looser junkie now that I got sober. It is the one thing that drives me nuts. Because it’s the exact reason I stayed so sick so long. And why I never told on my dad until he died. The judgement and criticism is wild. It’s hard enough for a human being to ask for help but adding the stigma of addiction is unreal.
I agree. I get sick of hearing the “you don’t look like an addict” line. Addiction has never and will never discriminate. It doesn’t care about your money, gender, family, race, anything. Years back I started MAT and my car was in the shop so I had to take a cab (pre Uber days) to get there. I had multiple drivers that would always comment how I didn’t look like I should be going to a methadone clinic. Did I work there? I let them know about my history, informed them on addiction and methadone bc there was still a lot of misinformation about it. People that started off kind of judge mental were actually understanding by the end of our ride. The more we talk about it and educate people, the more the stigma will change. So I’m glad to see Mulvaney is opening up too. And honestly, I would much rather hear 2 comedians talk about their struggles bc humor makes everything a little more tolerable to absorb. Addiction doesn’t have to be documentaries and trauma and sadness. There’s plenty of ways to talk about it.
Saw John when he came to Pittsburgh not too long ago the set was hilarious and mostly about his road to recovery
As a mostly functional addict i both feel like someone like John Mulaney admitting his addiction should help me admit my own but also makes me feel like i just might be better at drug use than him.
Drug abuse and addiction are absolutely disasters, but its difficult not to romanticize those troubled memories. Theo and John were having a moment, you could almost see the twinkle in their eyes as they bonded over their shared past.
Mulaney snapped to reality and felt the urge to interject that indeed "drugs are a disaster". Possibly as a self-reminder. Glad to see both of these guys get sober, really talented dudes.
Well yeah, because it’s not like it’s all bad times but that’s pretty much early on. But he’s doing what I like to do, when you remember the good stuff you quickly tell yourself to remember the worst times and the worst times are far more impactful then the best.
Yeah I peeped that too, but its natural, drugs are fun. For a while at least
One addict relating to another addict 🤌
Nail on the head with the “self-reminder” part. One day at a time
@@islabee94 Drugs are so good... they'll ruin your f***ing life - Louis CK 😂
As an addict myself, I still find it very hard to have a conversation about it like they are, and not want to take something immediately after. They can say how horrible it was but part of you is almost reminiscing about it and that can set some people off. Hope he went to a meeting right after this talk
I totally feel this
I completely understand this.
I was thinking that both of them seemed a little into some of the reminiscing. Like, they still can't help feeling some of the positive feelings about such bad times. I was really glad when John brought it home, about how it's kind of a disaster.
I agree they are both super animated about these stories.
Thanks for saying-
I always feel like that after hearing "drug stories"
It was profound that John realized he was good at what he did not because of drugs but in spite of them. So glad he got clean. Really hope he stays that way. His new special is the best he's ever been.
I agree its so damn funny
Theo Von explaining trap houses to John Mulaney and asking him if he's the Anthony Bourdain of trap houses was hilarious. On a real note I'm so happy for both these guys and wish them well on their path of sobriety.
Also Theo's idea of of a cool place was Shoney's. Hanging out with a stuffed bear and a breakfast bar. 🤣
😅
@@Frank.E.Valley Lmfao. He talks about a woman being there that you could just wake up and have sex with.
I feel like Anthony Bourdain was probably the Anthony Bourdain of trap houses
Anthony Bourdain of trap houses lmfao
At 99 days sober today, I love hearing about other people’s stories especially people I look up to. It makes me feel less alone.
Congratulations on your sobriety
Amazing job!!!! Keep it up :)
Eleven months sober today and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
And today, 100. This stranger is happy for you today
Happy 100!!!!❤❤❤
The way John described the feeling of having not slept when everyone else has was so real haha, I’ve never been able to articulate it myself. The warmth in your bones is so accurate.
Even just staying up all night gives me the same feeling lol, like during my college years. Such a cool feeling. Can’t imagine what it’s like when you’ve been doing speed all night, that must feel insane.
@@GeddyRC once didn’t sleep more than 2-3 hours for 3 days straight and it was crazy. I totally thought everyone in my office knew i was high on coke
His description of things coming in from the side was so accurate. I used to stay up 36+ hours; and towards the end of those stints if I was out in public I really started to feel like everyone else was just different from me in a physiological way.
I also found this a great description and very relatable. I notice that in mornings on the way to work or getting a coffee, I'm looking for exactly this look in other people's eyes. It's like you've learned the superpower of being able to recognize this state while others remain almost completely oblivious. It also has had an inverse effect: I gain an extra sense of appreciation for looking "normal" to others.
The warmth is probably the speed upping your metabolism
“The video game of being an addict” and “the present problem” being the brains only concern is the most accurate description I’ve heard of being dependent on substances. Always loved John, it’s lovely to see him be honest and open about things so many people deal with
videos likes these totally abolish the stigmatization of addiction. for those few minutes of genuine, open conversation, anyone struggling with addiction can find comfort in knowing they’re not alone. thank you theo and john
Yes exactly this is EXACTLY how I felt watching. 2 years clean and I’m still ashamed of my past and scared it will “ruin me” if people in my life now find out
I mean they help but they do NOT totally abolish the stigmatization 😭
yea, such tramsparacy helps with sheding light on the taboo. But what is against the law in states? how can they speak so openly for using and not get arrested?
Why did it take two privileged addicted white men to have a podcast, outside of jail, for people to tell you what incarcerated and addicted black and brown people have been saying for decades and have been strugging with since the inception of our war on drugs? You had the audacity use the word abolish? Naw my dude..... this isn't brave. It's privileged. And the stigmatizim is still there if black and brown people are in jail for non-violent drug charges while these entertainers make money off of telling their story.
@Just N'ther White Guy absolute disconnect in your points is hilarious. You dont know what its like bruh, you probably havent even been a kid in decades, glad that society is generally leaning towards disagreeing with you because the ideas that you just pissed out into the ether literally kill kids
I’m not being hyperbolic when I say that people like Theo or Steve-O have done more for addiction awareness and providing welcoming communities than most anyone else. Amazing conversations as always
They really have done so much good.
Really appreciated his transparency with his addiction. I 100% relate to that feeing of being the only one that didn’t sleep. I always felt like everyone knew. My brain never felt like it was firing on all cylinders. I felt like everything inside me was moving in slow motion. It was awful.
And Russell Brand
Absolutely true. I dare say (no pun intended) that they have helped out much more people than programs like DARE ever have.
Dont forget the thousands of people worldwide working as activists, pushing the debate forward for decades. These celebs could not have been talking so openly about illegal drugs like coke just 10 years ago.
I've been able to go 4.5 years without a drink. It's improved every aspect of my life. I'm a better friend, brother, son, and partner without alcohol in my system. I'm so happy for these guys. Nobody deserves to feel the depths of addiction. Fuck the low road. The only way out is up.
Congrats man! Keep it going brother.
Glad he is doing better now! We need more of this type of post addiction dialogue. It’s such a rough lifestyle that is so often kept hidden even after recovery
And even if people open up about addiction, very often they don't really get specific. It's interesting also for people who don't really have that addiction bug to know the behavioral patterns because a lot of times we're oblivious to what's going on if someone close is struggling but hiding it well.
@@sisiwasabi81Right. Not to mention that there is such a stigma around drug addiction that makes it difficult to talk about. As someone who has abused drugs like amphetamines to simply function around my friends, my family, even peers… It’s so difficult to acknowledge the harm it’s doing and open up about it without feeling shame, because you hide it from everyone and you don’t want them to feel like you’re a fraudulent person who lied to people you care about. That’s my experience anyways.
The problem is, that it's very risky for the recovering person to talk like this. I guarantee that if we could see inside their heads, both of their brains would be lit right up. If a clean addict talks to you like this, in my experience, it's a really bad sign.
the chemistry between these two is unmistakable : Theo=Public School, John=Private
Yup you can see it. Public vs private school and both did drugs
"I was not the Anthony Bourdain of trap houses" captures that sentiment to me
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂 Holy shit I haven’t laughed this hard in a while. Thank you
They are ADDICTS
this convo was so real to me. the relief and gladness you feel when youre clean and feel like you can really stay clean. john saying "everything is no longer a crisis" is so true. I love being sober
this is so reassuring to read, as someone trying to come off low grade opioids right now. I'm scared and struggling to see how I'll make it but I need to, and I go between thinking "I have no right to be really struggling, people get sober off heavier stuff than me" to being like "am I even really an addict if its not that much?". Everything feels like a crisis, all the time, and as John said "figuring out the game of being an addict" rules my day. I'm encouraged by your perspective here and hope I can reach this stage.
Needed this convo. Thank you.
@@RealElongatedMuskratKeeping it low and slightly under control saying your not addict is the worst bc then it can go on much much longer. Maybe try weed to help come off. Many ppl use it for that, after daily use of oxys for dacade. Larry Lawton here on UA-cam is one of them.
@@RealElongatedMuskrat oh man just wait till youre finally done tapering off and youre sober for a couple months. it's great and you are going to get there. ive been exactly where you were so many times not being able to see the way out.
but if you just persevere with it and have a good support system youll get sober and stay that way once you realize how awesome it is to get back to being yourself.
@@stringbender3 There are a lot of people that would strongly disagree with that.
I’m on day three of sobriety, this video was just what I needed today
Stay strong bro! The hardest things in life feel the best to achieve!
You got this!
You got this!
I went to day three and then messed up. Damn it's hard to be alone in your apartment with your thoughts.
Keep going brother
Leave it to Mulaney to give so much valuable insight on to how addiction really feels like while still phrasing it in a way to still sound so funny and relatable. Mad Respect
Probably the most relatable conversation I’ve seen about addiction in a long time, especially when he mentions addiction being “more complicated” than what people think, describing the relationship with the substance, the romanticization. Very profound.
What did they mean by the romanticization, I wonder?
I think he meant the "it's more complicated" train of thought was his addiction talking, and justifying why it's ok, rather than looking at the plain truth that coke is addictive, and he was addicted.
Yes he was using the term like an excuse his brain was giving him to avoid saying that he is in fact simply an addict.
I think often people use the word 'addict' to describe someone who uses currently. Even when someone is not currently addicted though, they are an addict in the sense that their relationship with the drug is very different to someone who has never been addicted. So, even when they're not currently addicted, the addiction still affects them.
@@jhakardballoch2986 That's exactly it, you hit the nail in the head. Once u become an addict it really never leaves you, you just lose the hability to fully enjoy anything that isn't drugs
Newly sober from cocaine and alcohol.
It's so damn hard but I gotta keep pushing
Get rid of these sunken sad eyes.
It's almost ruined my life
Lost jobs and so many friends along the way. Scared....but strong
I was in the same boat. Don’t give up. Find new healthy hobbies. Get in the gym.
6 years clean here and life is great again.
Keep going. 3 years sober. Married 8 months ago and now have a baby on the way.
Remember that time is relative and God has already forgiven you through Jesus.
Proud of you
Same, been off coke for 3? Years now.. still on and off with alcohol a month on then a month off. It gets easier, cravings for coke I find went quick, now I can go about a month before I get a desire to drink, you can do it think long term
@@ImRefraction same
if you're going through hell, keep going.
This was me as an addict. I was my moms “golden child” that could never do any wrong. Meanwhile I was heavily addicted to cocaine and oxy. I functioned so well no one had a clue. It wasn’t until I got a weird batch of coke that made me feel super weird and depressed and I confessed to my whole family lol all down hill from there but I eventually got sober. Been off coke and oxy for like 8 years
Good on you man, don't let material things control your life
Addicts are gross. Eeww
Good for you. You gave yourself a chance at a bright future. #selflove
Nothing like the downfall of the firstborn golden child 😂😢
It is crazy seeing two recovering addicts that have maybe never met and the chemistry that develops just on the mentality of drug abuse
The opposite of addiction is community. And just like drugs give you built in ice breaker or reason to be social with others, recovery gives you the same sort of sense of familiarity. It’s a beautiful thing.
Glad John is doing better. Addiction is a mf. I lost my best friend to heroin last year and the world's been a little bit more gray ever since. He was an extremely kind, intelligent and artistic guy. Just gone..
I am glad John's friends and family get to have him in their lives and that he is able to keep sharing his gift of comedy to the world. Bless him for going through the pain of recovery and being open about his struggle.
Whole new respect for this guy. Way to go John!
I’m sorry you lost people you loved and enjoyed being around. I lost two dear friends to heroin overdose and many many more to prison and madness. Out of our lost little circle I’m the only one who isn’t still in prison or dead. I counsel adolescents and adults now so that’s helped me in lots of ways. I miss them both very very much but decided a long time ago that I’d live my life for the three of us. Any victory for me is one for them. Love to you and theirs.
Lost my buddy last year as well to laced fentanyl. It sucks man and I feel for you. My buddy and I'd fallen out of contact for a couple months and just the week prior we were planning a call to catch up. He was one of those guys who'd fall off the face of the earth when he'd relapse, so it was impossible at times to contact him. Whole situation messed me up pretty bad honestly. Love when people like John and Theo talk about this stuff. Helps those of us who are worried we might fall down that rabbit hole as well.
@jimbofischa What an intellectual insight. Thanks, we didn't know.
sorry for your loss man 🙏
What does him being autistic have to do with it?
People who've never battled addiction have no idea what a monster it is.
It really is man
It’s hell
Because we”re smart enough to never take it in the fucking first place.
@@inlinechris you both make good points. clb06 probably shouldnt have worded it like it's something to be proud of. it's not. you absolutely are smarter than us for not having taken in the first place. but there is a empathetic connection other addicts have with each other.
@@inlinechris it’s not about intelligence. You were just lucky enough not to be born with a brain that lead you in that direction. And lucky enough not to be in such shitty life circumstances that risking severe addiction is worth it just to escape the absolute hell that is their life for a moment.
As a former drug abuser.. who recently got back on Adderall with a lot of rationalizations chief among being "to balance school and work" this conversation is heartbreakingly relatable. Stay strong brothers.
Hey man I'd strongly consider not being on Adderall if you're worried about backsliding. It's one of the most addictive drugs on earth and it's so socially acceptable that it can be really hard to catch yourself before it's too late. If you think your lifestyle requires you to take it id seriously consider changing your lifestyle.
As long as you stick with Adderall, you’ll be fine. Just don’t go buy anything else.
If only it was that easy my friend. Addiction is always about chasing the dragon.@@Sniperboy5551
As a former drug abuser.. you *abused drugs.. take it as prescribed for the conditions you actually need treated for.. your conscience will not bother you and you no longer are *abusing drugs.. otherwise your still abusing drugs.. facts is facts.. that only YOU have the mental ability to have self control over, have a clean conscience, and have a balanced healthy, happy mental state.. laws exist for a reason for rx drugs.. you are a *former drug abuser so don't abuse drugs 😊 stay safe.
-just an opinion from a well adjusted former drug abuser that takes Adderall for mental health and well being
It’s only a manner of time you will start abusing them. I tried doing this so many times even though I preferred opiates and I had ADD I always somehow ended up abusing the Addys even though I hated being on a lot of Addys as crazy as that sounds.
The part about not sleeping and going through the day wondering if people know you haven’t slept and having a different feeling about you is 1000% true and I have felt that feeling multiple times. It’s even worse when you have to go to work the next day after.
I’ll never forget the feeling of being up for nearly 2 days straight and having to work a 9-6 corporate office job in the middle of Manhattan, all the while feeling like I *still* might not be able to get to sleep that next night. Everything John described here (down to the Starbucks) was my experience for 2-3 months. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy
Big props to John for talking about this.
Damm man when John says “I thought I was doing well WITH the drugs, but really it was IN SPITE of the drugs.” That has been my #1 issue with quitting and staying sober from opiates. I still believe to this day that I am a better, more functional person while on opiates. That has been my hang up in saying to myself that I’ll never do them again
you're not, you're just less insecure on the drugs. that's all it is. everyone around you knows you're ripped it's never a secret no matter how well you think you're doing
@@umpin3 well I have been clean 100% now for about a year and a half. And I have absolutely no problem doing work or day to day tasks sober. I feel fine, because even when I was using opiates I didn’t do them in the daytime. At least for the first two years it was only a nighttime/after work thing. My major problem is when I’m trying to do something socially. I just feel like I’m in my head and don’t even want to be around my best fucking friends. That’s what caused the only relapse I’ve ever had, I was out with friends and just could not relax and have fun. And I convinced myself that I had done so much hard work that I deserved to enjoy myself
@@talbotd27 Speaking from my own personal experience here, maybe it pertains to your situation too, maybe it won't but it is something I've seen with other recovering addicts as well. I have bipolar disorder & a lot of social issues due to anxiety. Opiates always gave me that "balanced" feeling where I actually felt happy & OK with myself for the first time ever. I could talk to people in the grocery store without my heart racing, I felt comfortable out in public, I always just felt good, etc. Something I was never able to do without the opiates. That of course led to years of thinking I can't live without them. I'm 11 yrs clean now & about 3 yrs into my recovery is when I found a psychiatrist that really put it all together for me. Helped me see why I used the way I did. I also eventually used meth because the opiates alone stopped being "enough", you know how it goes. But all of it was me trying to chemically balance what was naturally unbalanced before. With Seraquel & therapy I've never felt more "normal". My anxiety out in public is practically gone now. See if you can look into speaking with a mental health professional, you might just need a healthier way to find the balance the opiates gave you the illusion you had.
I second this. It really is the biggest lie the addiction has us telling ourselves.
Its part of the disease, and it fucking sucks. I mean without a doubt, I'm a more fun sociable person on alcohol. But I had convinced myself that just to seem normal to people on a day to day basis I needed alcohol in some capacity. Even after about a month and a half sober I can say that my sober self is just fine at the everyday stuff, I just wanted a reason to drink.
Then when I was in so deep, I needed to taper down because withdrawl can do some horrible shit. So I was "trying to get sober" but really I was just making more excuses to continue the abuse. My body just literally couldnt take that poison anymore, and now that I'm past the really hard part, staying sober is not as debilitatingly hard as I thought it would be. I figured it would just be day in day out cravings, driving by liquor stores being hell. But I am managing pretty well aside from certain triggers. I just wish I could have found this strength years ago, cuz who knows how many years I've taken off my life, but it took some pretty intense bodily pain to finally set me straight.
I was so depressed by the alcohol that I had just said, fuck it. I hate my life, I kinda want to die but too scared to actually end it all, so I might as well drink myself to death so I can have some fun and feel good while doing it. Dont be like me, if you feel like you're in too deep, get help and make the changes now, not later. Cuz alcohol wont just kill you in your sleep, you will die slowly and painfully. And its terrifying.
John's openness could save a life. I wish we could talk about all mental health problems this way
Man, hearing Mulaney talk makes me realize I'm doing the right thing by staying away from friends who have a drug addiction. I'd be like John if I didn't stay away.
Nice job dude, that is hard. Did the same in school and very thankful my younger self at least had the balls to do that.
The monotony of that drug life beats you down so bad. 10 years on opiates here. I'm coming up on 4 years sober and even thinking about the struggle of having to maintain everyday gives me chills.
Proud of you !
Are you happy now four years later? Or not necessarily happy, but do you feel life is worth living now? In the throes of it myself atm. Have heard lots of ppl say they feel no joy at all, even after 10 years clean. Scares the hell outta me
@@peterthompsonfunny you can definitely find happiness again. its never too late for your dopamine to reset and start working similar to a non drug addicts brain but its true that you will never be exactly the same.
@Peter Thompson Funny - Standup and Podcasts I'm coming up on 6 years and definitely feel like my brains 100% normal and happy again. I'm also a health/fitness fanatic now which helps alot
so proud of you
I’m 3 weeks away from 9 years sober from alcohol. It was exhausting trying to plan my day on when I can drink or buy more booze. Sometimes I’ll go to my daughters school or dance event and look around to see if anyone looks drunk because that was me and I always felt I was the only one drunk where I should’ve been sober.
9 years too
The worst part of addiction is knowing you can do better but still deciding not to
I love the rawness of this conversation. I have mad respect for John M.!!
I HAVE NEVER heard anyone put it so accurately as John has. The level of "nail on the head" that I've felt in this clip is more than anything I've ever seen anyone else when describing the nature of "being an addict" before having been there myself. I'm about to watch this twice it was so profound lol.
Theo has had some good talks about addiction with Jordan Peterson too. Check ‘em out.
"life is a little table piled high with shit,
And you think drugs are going to come in and fix your problems and instead they just kick the legs out. They're a disaster"
100% fantastic description
I needed this so bad. This honesty is rare and extremely refreshing.
Wow… as I’m still struggling with my addiction, this might be the most realistic and relatable conversation on addiction I’ve ever heard. Thank you
Battling addiction myself! Asking for prayers
Onward!
One day at a time! You got this!!!
Just stop
you got it gates
You got this bro, stay in the present moment, every situation we face happens in the present moment, don’t let your mind trick you
When you are ready take it one day at the time for now take it one hour at a time
‘In spite of the drugs’ that line is so so true
This gives me chills, something about artificially being awake when you normally wouldn’t be with the anxiety from the come down is so relatable and it sucks
My favorite moment of this is watching Theo ask John if he's the "Anthony Bordain of trap-houses," and watching the surreality of the entire question dawn across his face.
Videos like this seem to find you when you most need them
Holy shit this is crazy. I literally never thought of John Mulaney doing drugs or even having the ability to do something like that. His persona is one of a straight edge guy.
That one bit about the high school party was a clue
“Didn’t think he had the ability” what
@@umpin3 Yup.. I remember picking up heroin once from my plug and I pull up into the gas station parking lot next to this older suit/business looking guy next to me. Start getting anxious as I'm like damn this guy definitely looks like he's going to call the cops if he sees us do the deal. Few minutes later my dealer pulls up and the suit in the car gets out and gets into his car.. Mind was absolutely blown. Going to rehab years later met a lot of similar folks.. You would have no idea they had an addiction. Not one clue unless they let you know or you happened to see them in the act.
If you watch enough of his previous standup, he talks about having had a very serious addiction problem in the past, initially triggered by trying to get the attention of a previous girlfriend,
and he addressed the fact that he did not look it seems like someone who would have had a serious addiction problem.
Close to half the population of the US had done illegal drugs. A quarter currently uses them. There is no way to tell if someone does drugs just by looking at them. It's not like high school where only certain subcultures get in to them. Any type of person can be using drugs, even clean cut nerdy types
It's so refreshing to see podcasters actually talking about addiction and recovery. I'll be clean and sober in two years in August. Taking it a day at a time.
If you're watching this and struggling. Seek the hell you need 🙏
Got sober 2 years ago and this conversation was so meaningful. Thanks boys this was fantastic
Thank you for battling stigma and helping others to see light in their darker moments.
Thank You for this. The honesty, I've clawed myself out of this and never spoke to anyone about it.
As someone who went through a major depressive episode the parallels between depression and addiction are really surprising
Going through it myself, went to a psych yesterday for the 1st time. They recommended magnesium lol
I'm like...."you watch Dr. Huberman on UA-cam too?"
Seems like help is only offered to people that "look like" they need it.
@@TheJoshestWhite Depression is usually the precursor to addiction. Careful. Some people can use drugs and never think about it again, but in a depressed state, people are especially prone to addiction. Also, don't be afraid to tell a psychologist exactly what you want. They prescribe pills. There is no easy answer to depression. Typically they recommend therapy, and then if that fails an anti depressant. Neither of those are guaranteed fixes, either.
They want to help, but usually start off with the least complicated potentials solution, like magnesium. If it doesn't help, go back and if you don't think the treatment is adequate tell them. In my experience they will give you what you want if you have a good reason. Just whatever you do, don't resort to self medicating. Slippery slope! Hope you figure it out in any case. In my early twenties I started using meth because it made me forget about depression, and that led to an extremely painful 8 years or so. 34 and clean now, somehow.
Mulaney truly seems to be past his demons and can effectively look back at the troubles he was facing, his perspective on his addiction is so real
I talk about my addiction like this… it’s very sneaky and not ok.. I know if I got hands on it I’d be in it again. I like it way too much. Love the feeling wayyy too much
Nope. Addiction is for life- you are never past it, it’s a constant battle every day for the rest of your life. He’s winning now though, pray he can keep it going.
He’s just good at presenting himself that way.
The video game of being an addict. That describes it soooo perfectly. Congrats to John and Theo keep it goin.
As a fellow addict “A scramble for the present problem” is one of the most accurate, insightful things I’ve heard anyone say about living with addiction. Organising your entire life around such temporary gratification. And because you’re always focused on immediate needs, you’re blind to bigger issue. (I mean, you know you’re an addict but ‘getting help’ is always something you’ll do tomorrow.)
This hits home so hard. I'm 2 weeks sober and I worked in entertainment for a long time and have had so many of John's experiences. It is comforting and harrowing.
This is extremely relatable, and the first time I’ve heard someone explain addiction in the same way I’ve experienced it.
Amazing podcast. One of the better ones he’s had in a minute..
I love how honestly they discuss the topic. I think every addict can relate at some point.
Addiction is a terrible curse that we shouldn't be ashamed to talk about. If more people felt they could be more honest and real like in this vid, then the quicker they can be heard and helped onto a road to recovery. So glad these two great guys opened up and are doing better. Keep fighting that good fight, everyone! ❤
Keep winning Mulaney. You're a joy on stage. The drugs aren't the answer. Wishing you all the self-love in the world 👍👍
I’m so glad he’s recovering, and I wish him the best in his effort.
I haven't met either of them, yet through the years of watching their comedy and listening to their interviews/convos, I love these two so much. It brings me joy to see them in a place where they can comfortably discuss and even joke about the horrors they've been through with their use over the years. You can tell Theo is very engaged and not making too many asides in this, he obviously cares very much about John and wants him to continue his success away from drugs. I hope they both realize just how special and captivating they are, even without the 'help' of coke/adderal/etc. It helps to talk, and to listen.
This is amazing. Good on him for sharing openly.
The amount of head-nodding and "holy shit, yes!" I'm doing while watching this. Jesus. Thanks to both of these two for being open.
Putting aside his voice/delivery, I like watching John for his verbosity. He really describes the circumstances of addiction well and pulls you into that world. It makes it all a lot easier to imagine.
Really appreciate this video. 62 days sober here. In rehab for the 2nd time. Have seen so many people die. Is a good thing to have these open and honest conversations. "Drugs are a disaster" = Truth to the core!
I’d never thought JM would have a problem with drugs, maybe alcohol but that’s how clean cut he appears to be I guess. Recovery’s a never ending road, hope he and all us stay on it. It’s tough but worth every moment of it
Did you ever see the parts of his sta dup where he talked about his previous serious addiction problem.
To be an addict you give up everything for one thing, to stay sober you give up one thing to get back everything.
I was able to see his show when he came to perform in Honolulu and I was so impressed by things he chose to share about his addiction and recovery. I have struggled with addiction in the past, and it was really cool to hear his talk about some of the things I’ve experienced and been too embarrassed to talk about with other friends who haven’t struggled in the same way.
Love John! So happy he’s clean. He has so much to give the world.
This was beyond great. (Full interview). Mucho amore to both of you fine gents. 😊❤️✌🏼💪🏼
When I was going through my own problems with Molly and coke ... I always got freaked out when looking through Quora.😂
same but with Adderall hahaha I always ended up freaking out and smoking a ridiculous amount of weed to try and offset it so I could sleep
Definitely I was the type of dude who never just had 1 type of substances I was constantly mixing 2-3+ at a time it was fun then but long term it takes a toll on the brain n body
Bruh why is everyone going to Quora for legit advice? Those neckbeards and drop outs dont know wtf theyre talking about on there.
Thank you both for sharing! One day at a time, we do recover! Grateful recovering addict here! Was a heroin and meth user for years! Clean and serene since 4/12/18!
I've been sober for a little over a year now, and watching John Mullaneys new Netflix special was very therapeutic to me, I heard a lot of stuff that was very familiar to me. Thank you john.😊
I have kept my coke addiction secret and am at rock bottom. I have no friends to confide in about the way I have been living and I don’t want to confess my problems to my family. It’s therapeutic to hear how relatable some of the topics Theo talks about are to someone living thru them wondering if I’m the only person who has sunk to these depths. I’m really ready to get past this chapter in my life. I miss the person I was before becoming an addict.
I don't know where you live, but here you can go to the fire department, they will help you with services.
You can do it man. Seek out a local treatment center, even if it’s just a detox center to be at during withdrawals. I had the EXACT some thing, hidden addiction of prescription pain killers, kratom extract, and extreme Adderall abuse. I’m newly sober now and while it’s still tough, it’s so much better than the hell of addiction. You can do it man
L+ratio
Confess to your family, or accept death. That's what helped me, no matter how angry and disappointed my family could be, the alternative is much worse my friend.
Stay strong and love yourself, dude. Do it for you.
Really grateful for everyone honesty and vulnerability. I am praying for you all, you can do this be well. I am the child of addicts and I am still working through what it was like growing up in that environment.
I’m glad that both Theo and John are working on recovery and healing. The world is a brighter place with them in it. ❤
This is amazing- much props to John for recovering. I’ve known a few that managed this but did not come back from it well.
This is so refreshing to hear. I’m four and a half years sober from alcohol and adderall. This was incredibly relatable.
We are 100% here for the calm John!
It's at 9:38 when he describes the morning where you can see he still really loves it
facts I was getting that too, it kinda seems like if you tossed an 8 ball between these two and cut the camera they'd rip it down in about 3 hours 😂
He loves it in a weird way. Just like describing balancing uppers and downers, and hiding your true feelings, being in denial. I don't think anyone has ever captured more closely how I feel about drug use, genuinely fairly upsetting, the fact he was a favorite comic seems purely incidental. I doubt he'll stay sober.
Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Much appreciated for your honesty.
My cousin died this month after being in and out of rehab for years. He was a mess and it was tough seeing him go through that. Pill addiction is just as scary as heroine or meth.
It's all the same-- literally. Chemically, prescription opioids are the same as heroin et al.
@@SuperRobertoClemente not the same, actually. Both are opioids but different forms. A heroin addict wouldn't be satisfied with oxy, or percocets. Pill addiction can be brutal, but once you go to heroin, it's for sure taking it to the next level.
@@SuperRobertoClementethey’re nearly identical, but not the same. Different opiates have different potency levels
Sober off dope 3 years 4 months baby let’s gooo. Congrats to anyone sober from drugs and alcohol. If you’re struggling currently, keep pushing
Definitely gotta watch this whole pod. Great conversation gents
Man i needed this video. Been really struggling with my alcoholism and having been slipping into...worse habits again. Its always refreshing to hear that there is help and i dont gotta deal with this shit on my own
Wow I never knew he struggled like that, it take alot to open up about that and I highly respect it. John you got a new fan
This was a genuine addict Convo thank you theo
They're being pretty straight up, pretty cool to see. It's hard to be as honest as John and Theo about it, you gotta be sober to do usually.
Thanks to both these guys for the laughs they give, really hope both stay clean and healthy.
Oh I remember those days, it was like am I awake or am I dreaming while I'm awake. So glad those day's are well behind me. It sure was a love hate relationship for me with coke. It good to hear people be honest about their addictions because being able to put it behind you is inspiring for the next person who might be struggling. ❤
"A scramble for the present problem" is such a great way to describe addiction. Long-term thinking basically disappears and everything that matters is of immediacy.
the way he said “ally cat” is haunting
Addiction is hard and I wish him success for the future. Everybody deserves a chance. Hope he keeps up the sobriety.
This was very relatable to me. I spent the majority of 10 years as an opioid addict and a lot of what John said sounds like the things I would say. The feeling that the drugs were helping me. That I wouldn’t be able to do the things I was doing as well without them. And then the experience of using all this mental energy to try and figure out if anyone would notice that I was high. Constantly feeling on the verge of being in trouble.
It is amazing how good it feels to set all that stress and anxiety down. It’s been 4.5 years now and my life has improved in ways I would never have imagined when I was down in it. These conversations are good reminders.
This is legitimately a great conversation. I’m hanging on to every word; so good!!
I could listen to them have this conversation if it went on for hours. I wish this interview was so much longer. It's a great conversation.
John is so brilliant. He has such a good understanding of what the situation is, but still admits to falling prey to it.
I hope he stays clean. The world needs good stories like that.
Glad John is being open about this kinda thing. I really hope he gets help if he needs it. STOKED to watch his special in 5 minutes
Thank you guys, I appreciate the openness
When he’s explaining how he thought drugs made him better, I relate to that heavily. I feel like I’m more social, funny, and confident after a few drinks.
You are enough just the way you are. You are lovable just the way you are.
You are welcome just the way you are.